Category Archives: Work

Obsessed with Misery

I had a silent cry fest meltdown on the plane today. I was just feeling so sad thinking about life’s disappointments. I know my parents are miserable, bc so many of their hopes and dreams never materialized.

Together, the two of them built so much from nothing. I will never fully grasp how difficult that journey was for them, but I also feel like in a hundred years, how many people can really overcome so many obstacles to create that kind of life story? However minute, there are still elements of timing and fate at play.

Now, after a lifetime of struggle, their lives feel meaningless, and my brother is not the only one who has disappointed them. I am not a doctor. I didn’t get a medical/law/business degree from Harvard or Yale. I don’t have professional prestige, much less a steady and consistent career. I’ve never earned a shit ton of money in my work. I never had kids. I have an explosive temper and an acerbic tongue. I’m not what they wished for.

Even if I don’t agree with them putting all their happiness eggs into their children’s baskets, that’s what my parents do. At the end of the day, all these have-nots are failures. Sometimes, their feelings make me extremely frustrated and angry; other times, I just feel sad that these failures deflate them.

The night before I left Taiwan, I spoke with my eldest aunt. I told her I was glad to be going home: it’s frustrating to be around my parents, bc they constantly bicker and they are perpetually miserable about all the ways their kids have disappointed them. The thing is, every single person has disappointments– areas or issues where things didn’t turn out as originally hoped. Rather than obsess over all the failures, can you be grateful for all that is good or fortunate in your life? My family wears me the fuck out.

On a Roll

What can I say, this has been one helluva week! After passing my exam, I was on cloud 9 for like 24 hrs. Then, the very next day, I boarded a quickie flight to Burbank for that “client meeting.” I even got all decked out in a blazer and fancy flats for the fun of it. You know me and my crazy mind games. Yup, it was my last ditch attempt to score the elusive and highly coveted Southwest Companion Pass. With the promo ending on October 31, I was running out of time, so I just had to crank it out. The flight was an easy 45 min down; then, I exited the gate area and re-entered security and boarded my flight back. I know, J and I were shaking our heads (he stayed home) and laughing at ourselves, but shit man, this just had to be done. And in the end, we’re talking a time commitment of 9am-1pm plus $112 for the homestretch.

This morning, I was jarred from my slumber with the official email. Yesiree: I am now an official Companion Pass holder, and I am so fucking psyched!!! I mean, I was literally sitting on the commode this morning thinking about what an amazing deal this is/was. Seriously people, keep your eyes peeled for a repeat. If you think about it, the pass was going to be nearly impossible for me based on the original terms (110k points from credit card purchases and/or flights OR 50 round trip flights in a calendar year). I got the same exact pass for 5 round trips totalling less than $1000!!! I know, I keep going on and on… I’m just saying: some deals really are worth the extra time and hustle. And another new thing I discovered? Southwest starts direct flights from SJC-BWI next month. So good or bad, at least flying home will be even easier. Yay. Not. My parents say they’re getting the house on the market by Feb/Mar, so I imagine a few more trips will be in order. We’ll see.

Speaking of real estate, everything is on track for the Walkersville house. I can hardly believe it. After several months and many uncomfortable conversations, the deal is nearly done. Thank goodness. And along the way, I’ve certainly learned a ton about dealing with clients (like myself) and about being a responsive and attentive realtor. I have so much to learn with this goddamn people-based business. I’m both excited and apprehensive.

Then, as part of registering for the license exam, I got on some kind of recruitment list, so several brokers/companies in the area sent me letters, inviting me to meet and check them out. I mean, there’s nothing really personalized about the letter: they just contact people who registered for the test. It actually reminds me a lot of the college application process: you register for the SATs and then colleges all over the country start mailing you their prospectuses and shit. But heck, I’m thrilled to be pursued (it happens so rarely), and of course, I have emailed all those brokers letting them know that I passed this week and let’s meet next month. Yup, I am on it.

Btw, the KW realtor I befriended through LinkAges has turned out to be so kind and generous in sharing his knowledge. Bc of him, I’ve attended a few trainings to help me hit the ground running. In fact, I’m attending another one this afternoon… I told you I eat that training/coaching shit up.

So yeah, my trip to Asia is right around the corner, but I’m just trying to keep the momentum going. Gotta hit the iron while it’s hot, like my father loves to say. I’m feeling pretty good, like most things are finally going on an upward trajectory.

Licensee!!!

Holy shit, I passed my real estate salesperson exam this morning. It’s been a few hours since I got the actual paper indicating such (I checked several times that it was MY name on the thing!), but I’m still feeling like this a dream. Honestly, the last several weeks have been a blur. And having to deal with Tessa the last five days def did NOT help at all. That dog. Aside from her aggression and territorial issues that emerged despite two successful trials with daycare, she also required all kinds of supervision. Seriously, THE most challenging client ever. For example, she kept trying to eat Martin’s food; she would NOT stay off the furniture; she thrashed her dog pillow like a maniac; she got into bags, found cockroach traps… ANYthing on the floor; she was an awful, stubborn walker (she’d just cop a squat when she didn’t want to go in your direction); she got into the bathroom garbage like THREE times… the list goes on. Jesus Christ. I really wish some dog parents were more in-tune/transparent/honest about their dogs meeting basic behavioral standards. And heck, what kind of 8-y/o adult dog is so freaking incorrigible??? Supposedly, she had an extensive vocabulary… Whatever. At the end of the day, she still didn’t understand “No!” Needless to say, given these last two duds, I am taking a break from Rover. Yup, Bubbey called it for real: the good streak was bound to end and shit, Rover burned me good!

But whatever. On to bigger and better, now that I’ve passed the license exam, right? It’ll take the Bureau more paperwork and time to actually issue the legit license, but hell, I am just so relieved this part is over. My anxiety was getting out. of. control. Big time. Like I was thinking about how most people fear public speaking more than they fear death. Well, I fear test taking more than I fear public speaking (actually, I don’t mind public speaking so much anymore). Damn, I was popping Calms Forte like every day. And fuck, I studied super cray cray. Like used a gabillion books, plus webinars, plus study guides, a Saturday cram class, AND took over 1000 practice questions…

Thankfully, Bubbey saw how worked up I was getting over everything, so he stepped up big time, handling all the meals and groceries and household logistics. Then, he drove me to the exam site in Oakland this morning. Yup, like I’m Miss Daisy. It helped a ton though, bc that East Bay traffic would have taken my stress to a new level.

Now that the test is done, I’m actually really excited to find a brokerage AND start enrolling in all kinds of training/coaching programs. You know I eat that shit up! And of course, our trip to Seoul and Taiwan kicks off soon, so I’ll be able to chill out a bit, without stressing about re-taking the test. Whew! What a goddamn relief.

 

 

The Fine Print

So update on a few things:

Walkersville house: Apparently, my agent and I had a misunderstanding about the cost of radon mitigation. I thought he estimated the costs as $400 for a passive system and $900 for an active system. Turns out though, what he meant was $400 to upgrade to an active system if there’s a passive system already installed… but there isn’t. So that’s fine. Radon is a legit environmental health concern, so we upped the buyer credit some more. The buyers accepted, and we’re onto the next step. Whew!

Companion Pass: Seeing as I was still short a flight, I booked that same day roundtrip to Burbank for $112. But the next day, I figured I would CYA once more and call Southwest to confirm that after this Burbank trip, I’m gonna get the pass for sure, right??? Well, I spent about 30 min on the phone with an agent and her manager: they both insisted that indeed Reno was the last flight I needed. Back and forth. They are unable to provide paperwork or email confirming this. To be honest, the problem seems to be inconsistent fine print posted to various places. Regardless, from what I read in the super detailed fine print, “bookings made before the promo period are ineligible.” So even though these people told me what I wanted to hear, I think they are wrong and I’m not taking any chances.

Rover: Very late on Thursday night (11:35p to be exact), I received a Rover request for the very next day. Given the last minute nature, I assumed this was urgent and dire. I accepted boarding for a 2.5-y/o American Eskimo. I looked through her profile and pretty much no care/vet instructions. The owner was super grateful and when I expressed concerns about age difference with Marty, she didn’t really reply. At worst, I figured I could just keep them separate. So the owner came by after work on Friday and she was in a hurry, so much so that she didn’t want to see the yard or the park. She also didn’t bring the dog’s food or bed. Just a leash/harness, a bone (“I’ll leave this and she hasn’t chewed up anything in a long time”), and a bag of treats. Um, ok. All is fine, Lemon (named after the citrus) is a sweet young pup. At bedtime, we go to sleep and she stays out in the living room. Ok, whatever. Sometimes dogs prefer to wait near the door. Then, in the middle of the night, I wake up to go to the kitchen and I see chewed up rubber nubbies all over the carpet (the door stop). Throughout the night, she comes in the bedroom and I wake up to let Lemon and Marty outside. It’s a restless night. By morning, John gets up and let’s them both out. Then, he goes out to get coffee. I try to sleep in. I hear some crying and then when I go into the living room, Lemon is on the sofa, sitting on top of my Lululemon jacket. As I get closer, I see that she has chewed off the bottom half of the zipper. I think she ingested some of the zipper teeth even. Ugh! WTF?!?! I email her owner saying I think she ingested but I think she’ll poop it out and be fine. Can take to vet if you want. No reply pretty much all day. Later, I notice too that Lemon has chewed through her harness. So now I’m kinda pissed. I mean, she IS young, and this is one of the reasons why I specify dogs over 10 y/o. But I dunno: without any additional instructions/warnings from her owner, I thought Lemon would be easy. It’s fine: not the end of the world. My local dry cleaner says $40 for a new zipper, and fortunately, the owner agreed to pay. But shit, this also gives me a new appreciation for owners who bring their own crates and all that other equipment for when their dogs are left unattended. I mean, in this case, I was home, but after discovering her penchant for chewing, the crate would have allowed me to leave the house at least. Next time, I need to still insist on a thorough screening process… no cutting corners.

What else. I have been studying my real estate for a few hours every day. I did great on Exam 1 – definitions. Awful on exam 2 – prelim. I find the questions so confusingly worded, to be honest. So today was discouraging, but I just have to keep plugging. We’re off to Tahoe and back this week. Hope Marty does ok with the new sitter and her little mutt Cricket.

Carpolepsy

Bubs and I are back from a quick jaunt in Oregon. It’s been many years since we last visited: we had some friends who did the Hood to Coast race, so we’d hit up Astoria, Portland, and then the Eugene area. But this trip was focused less on the city and more on wine country! Yeah, I still don’t consider myself a foodie, but I like many of the things wine country offers: incredible scenery, deluxe outdoor chill space, ranch animals, stunning buildings and tasting rooms, and yummy snacks.

So first of all, Oregon is slow. I drove 45 mph on the interstate. No joke. Second, there sure are a lot of hipsters. I thought Portlandia was a hyperbole. Not so. That shit is spot. on. Lots of monster beards and very funky clothes. But people are nice and somehow not as snooty as the SF hipsters. Finally, shit is cheap. Yup, that part wins me over every. damn. time. So now, no more Paso Robles for our project idea but maybe Oregon wine country??? We’ll see.

We did a lot in a few short days. Sadly though, on our way to Mt. Hood, I got carsick, then popped a Dramamine, and then carpolepsy ensued. I missed so much of this gorgeous drive. I dunno whether the drowsiness was exacerbated by the Dramamine: I kinda feel like I have a history of getting ridiculously tired riding in cars. Like drugged-out tired. I was so frustrated to have missed everything that the first night after we got back to the hotel, I looked this shit up. I mean, I have a problem. Carpolepsy (ok, that’s a term in urban dictionary) aka highway hypnosis. It’s a form of motion sickness but not much explanation beyond that. Fucking A, man. In the mean time, I am getting back on the vitamins train, bc this no energy bullshit just cannot keep happening.

Another interesting surprise from the trip? J and are pinot drinkers, and we always felt like we enjoyed pinots from the Central Coast (Santa Barbara region) more than those from Williamette Valley in Oregon. But strangely, when we tasted the pinots on this trip, the wines were pretty good. Hmm, had our taste buds changed? Was there something with drinking them at the source? Perhaps the flavors actually differed winery to winery rather than just region to region? Not sure what happened. Bubbey says we ought to be careful about drawing conclusions based on very limited sample size. Ok, my data scientist. Regardless, the wines were a pleasant surprise. My preferences are now leaning towards old vine zinfandel, so I hear that Lodi, CA is the next wine region to hit![FAG id=7483]

What else. J and I are getting along great. I’ve come to realize that being together for so long, we really have this unspoken understanding about so many things, for example, our style of travel, our preferences, our behaviors, and habits. It’s a really nice luxury to have someone just be able to anticipate things on your behalf. It’s hard to explain more specifically, but I feel lucky and grateful for my Bubbey.

Of course, after a few days of total chill, I awoke our final morning in Oregon all stressed. First off? I received an email from Southwest at 7am. You have completed 4 of 10 flights for the California companion pass promo. Say what? That cannot be right. Immediately, I popped out of bed bc this shit was a Code Red. Got on the phone with customer service. He went trip by trip. Goddamnit, the flight to Burbank (LA) for BlogHer didn’t count, bc I actually bought the tickets before the promo window. ARGH!!! I mean I had called earlier and the agent then said it counted, but fuck, both of our bads. I am already feeling over-traveled (I know, first world problems), and I thought I would be done after Tahoe. Nope. I need one more round-fucking-trip before Taiwan. Goddamnit. Thankfully, my smart friend M planted an idea that if anything, I can just do a quickie day trip flight down to LA and back. Like just grab lunch at the airport. And at this point, that’s what I’m going to do, bc there’s a lot of other shit going on…

The MD townhouse sale is still pending… The buyers had a home inspection and came back asking for more, for course. That resulted in yet another conflict between me and my agent. Stressful, bc I am not world-class emotionally intelligent like Bubs. Also, bc the closing date falls while we’re all in Taiwan, I’ve got to arrange power of attorney. Thank goodness, M is stepping up to the challenge. I just hope all the paperwork and shit gets done right bc there has already been a lot of back and forth with the title attorney. Whatever, it’ll get worked out.

In other news, I finally received the green light from the Bureau of Real Estate to take the exam. I’ve got it scheduled for Monday, Oct. 11. And I am having a lot of anxiety about it. I’ve always had anxiety about standardized tests… it goes way back to the SATs, ACTs, and GREs. I ultimately did fine on them (though I never scored as high as my parents wanted), but I get insomnia and tummy issues and numb hands just thinking about it. I keep trying to talk myself through: it’s not as dire as my body is reacting but shit, it just dredges up all the pressures and expectations from the past. Anyway, the plan is to take a 2-day crash course next weekend and then crank it out Tuesday morning in Oakland.

Needless to say, my brain was just preoccupied with all this crap and then when we returned the rental car, the rep suggested that we caused a dent by the gas cap. Are you fucking kidding me? Then I had to speak with the manager. I showed her my before photos, but I didn’t get a straight on shot of that area. I explained that when we arrived, there was a huge wait. We did go around the car with a dude, but the lighting in the garage was poor and the car had just been washed so the dent would have been difficult to see with all the reflections from the garage lighting. On top of that, later, John reminded me that when I had pointed out an indentation (but no superficial scratch) on the trunk to the check-out dude, he had specifically told us they were just looking for major things… The manager gave me her cell and said she would review the garage footage on their cameras and call me before the end of the day. She was very nice but I was just annoyed, like what kind of scam is this? It’s not like you’re going to repair that indentation so why would you charge me?

So we arrive at the gate, and I’m just overwhelmed. I reach for my ipad to get some writing therapy in, and holy fuck: I left my ipad in the rental car. Noooo!! There was this new console design in the car with an underneath platform for your purse/bag, and I set my iPad there bc I was using it for map navigation. OMG!!! So I called Robbie (the manager) and thankfully she went and got it. I then had to go back out to the rental car area (thank goodness it was onsite!!) and then back through security again. See? Totally frazzled.

In the end, all is fine. We got back and Marty is good. Weaker but good. No accidents. I’ll take the test in ten days. I’ll get the Companion Pass eventually. The house will sell one way or another. And vitamins are gonna give me that extra boost to power through the next several weeks (You know Taiwan ain’t gonna be a walk in the park!).

Real People

My friends sometimes make fun of me, bc every now and then, I kinda get attached to celebrities I follow on tv shows and on social media. Like J always talks about back in the day when I was obsessed with the show Felicity. Many of the characters irked the shit out of me with their crappy decision-making, but in some odd way, they kinda felt like my friends. As soon as that show ended, I can honestly say, I was heartbroken, and I missed the characters.

Now, as a legit adult, I def have more distance and separation with tv people/characters, but despite all the comments from J and my friends reminding me that everything I watch/follow is fake or staged or scripted, I still reserve final judgement for myself. Sure, I get it: there are gurus I follow for style, makeup, fashion, home ideas… Flippant content. I understand that nearly all of their posts are, you know, heavily post-processed and perhaps selected by a team member or whatever, and strongly intended to push product. After all, marketing is marketing. But still, even among those people who recommend products for compensation (and really, what is wrong with that?), I still believe these individuals are real and authentic. In other words, I appreciate their craft and their profession. Maybe it encourages consumerism or whatever, but when I read their blog posts, I often discover that they are real people with similar fears and worries and concerns.

Some examples? I follow Emily Henderson and Gal Meets Glam. I enjoy the beautiful pictures of beautiful places and beautiful things. But as much as people want to dismiss these women for doing work that’s superficial or meaningless or shallow, is there anything wrong with having a passion that is simply creating beautiful things vs. say, helping refugees or empowering the disenfranchised? Sure, there is a palpable difference in terms of gravity of work but at the same time, not everyone is cut out for emotionally taxing work. And ultimately, isn’t the bigger concept really about happy people showing others what is possible for this life, however each one of us chooses to live it? I also argue that even if people value the work of these bloggers differently, that doesn’t mean they are vacuous people. So many bloggers I read share stories about their professional path or their personal journeys. They adopt the abundance mentality and encourage others to take risks to try new things. They are open and supportive. They share their big life decisions, and I am reminded that I am not alone in my struggles to figure things out. 

A few days ago, I read this post by stylist Emily Henderson about her marriage. Initially, I thought it was going to be some sappy, cheesy love story, blah, blah. But as I read on, the post was more about their struggles and growth together… there was something so raw and real about it. It’s so easy to look at her gorgeous social media pictures and to think that everything is seamless or flawless. But she keeps it real about how relationships go up and down, get hot then cold, and for so many of us, depression is a debilitating hindrance. After reading their story, I felt encouraged and supported. Yes, with social media, we often try to showcase our best lives almost exclusively, but is that really any different from when we go on that first date or have that job interview or attend a friend’s bday party? There is a time and a place for the things that weigh us down. The curation doesn’t mean what we project is fake. It means we select when we want to emphasize the good and when we want to confront the bad.

When I was in college, I remember going to the campus coffee house for an open mic night. My brother was a regular performer there and that day, he read something he wrote about our family. It included dialog of me and my parents. We came across whiny and unsupportive. Immediately, I started crying. How could he expose our dirty laundry to strangers? These people don’t even know us! He couldn’t even understand why I was so upset, but I felt embarrassed. How far I have come since then, right? 

With my previous (anonymous) blog, I wrote often about my parents, my brother (oh, the irony!), and my marriage. I remember a childhood friend who followed the blog was so shocked by the exposure: she said it was so personal; she would never feel comfortable revealing so much. And I’m sure if my parents read these things, they would be equally horrified. But ultimately, this is the human experience and frankly, why should we be surprised? Don’t we all know that people have conflicts with their families and friends and coworkers and whatever? Who are we really trying to fool or protect by sharing only the good stuff?

I know Emily Henderson is not my friend. We don’t know each other. We’ve never met. Still, her post resonated with me, bc it reminded me that we all have our issues. We are all trying to figure things out. Like her husband, I’m so proud of J and his professional success. But I feel immensely sad and sorry for myself, bc I have not yet hit my career stride. Like Emily’s spouse, I am still trying and still reaching, hoping that one day things will be different.

How About Law School?

I called my dad this evening to catch up. The last time we’d spoke, he was having a personal pity party while also arguing with my mother, so needless to say, I was feeling pretty frustrated with both of them. About a week and a half have passed since, and thankfully, he is sounding better. I gave an update on the Walkersville townhouse (we’re trying to schedule closing for after I return from Taiwan…). He’s been watching some new Taiwanese programming online and then tending to the yard, running errands, tracking his stocks, etc.

My grandparents in Taiwan seem to be on the upswing again. Even though the original plan for my upcoming trip was to consider moving my maternal grandparents to a formal elder facility in Taipei, it now seems that that transition plan will be unlikely. My dad’s sisters insist the current situation with all three oldies living in one place is manageable, esp with the help of two live-in caretakers, so the status quo might just end up being the easiest thing. Plus, I got wind that my brother is not returning phone calls (what’s new) and to be honest, if he were the only relative leaving nearest my grandparents’ senior facility should they relocate to the campus in Taipei, that would be a fucking disaster, bc ultimately, Jgo is unreliable as fuck. Just sayin’.

Other news: dad is most likely going to just use his usual realtor for selling his primary residence. As it turns out, I probably had a mismatch with the Walkersville agent anyway, so just as well: dad will simply continue working with a known quantity who also happens to speak Chinese. Remember when we said his house was going to go on the market next year? Well I was thinking like April or May 2017. Nope, his agent is advising that they clear out the insides and list in February/March. Uh, good luck with that accelerated timeline. Clearly, she has no idea what she’s dealing with.

Meanwhile, after my bud N headed out to LA on Thursday, I met with a local practicing broker on Friday (part of my plan to start networking now…). We had a good meeting: I followed up with a thank you and a “yes, I’d love to attend some of your office’s upcoming trainings,” to which she invited me… During our meeting, I floated the internship/job shadow/assistant idea, but she said realty offices hire assistants for like 2-3 year chunks, so my best next move while awaiting my license is really to attend office trainings and meet the other colleagues. Ok, cool with me.

But damn, I am getting antsy as fuck about not bringing in some more dough. Yes, I have another Rover assignment coming up, but with our traveling, my schedule isn’t super conducive. Naturally, I started creeping around on the Craigslist job boards, and I was getting sucked into some personal assistant/travel planning gigs. J thinks they are a total waste of time and energy (I should be ramping up for real estate…), but I like planning and organizing, and I’m good at it… I guess we’ll go to Portland and then I’ll come back and re-assess. I just feel like I need some more side hustle. That was always my thing in college: I just did better when I had a busy schedule with a lot of side jobs.

But back to my call tonight with dad. Mom is undergoing a bunch of tests: biopsies and a CAT scan. A few weeks ago, doctors found a speck on her lung and ulcers in her esophagus. My dad doesn’t think it’s anything to worry about bc back in their day, the TB inoculations often caused scarring on the organs, but just to be sure, they are doing tests. The doctor is slated to review the results in mid October.

Mom and Dad had also recently stopped their daily walking routine, bc the weather back home was so blistering hot and muggy, but dad said they started walking again this week. Then, for whatever reason, I dropped my bomb: I told dad about my real estate plans. I wasn’t really nervous about it or anything. I just didn’t want to tell him earlier bc I didn’t want him harassing me about studying for the class and whatever.  Not surprisingly, he thought it was a good idea, and after I told them I’d already completed the three required classes and am awaiting the test date, he sounded even more thrilled.

Of course, that didn’t stop him from making the inevitable comment: “Did you look at other jobs?” Um, yeah I’d already looked at all the digital comm jobs and decided I didn’t want to continue in that line of work doing jobs in nonprofit. He then clarified what he was really asking, “Have you thought about law school?” And there it was AGAIN. Jesus fucking Christ. He has been mentioning law school since I was in engineering graduate school in 1998. Every damn time: No, I’m not interested in more schooling. Oh, it’s only two years. No, it’s THREE years. Plus, every lawyer I know HATES the job. EVERY damn one says it is their most expensive mistake.

It’s fine. I’m not angry or anything, but it’s just another example of where my parents sometimes just push their agenda without listening to what I’m telling them. I get it: he works with lawyers and the work doesn’t seem that hard and they make boatloads of money. But still, it’s not like I’m my friend J who like takes law classes for fun or reads about Supreme Court judgements for fun… Anyway, Dad did insert the whole, “You do what’s right for you” disclaimer at the end. And regardless, I think he is pleased that in the very least, real estate will be practical should J and I consider personal real estate investments in the future… Always pragmatic, right?

What else. Oh, I had a very pleasant discovery the other day. You know how I’ve been doing the whole Upromise thing? Well, I used it back in May for our VRBO Best Friends booking, and the way I read the cashback deal, I would just get $10 for the booking. Well, as it turns out, I got like 10% of my booking (~310) on top of the $10!! Woo hoo!! So far, I’ve earned over $1200 in just under two years with Upromise. Not too shabby!

Finally, an update on Marty care: After reaching out to like 8 sitters for mid October availability, I met with a sitter this morning who’s game for living on the Houseboat while we’re in Taiwan. She also appeared utterly unfazed by Martin’s fragile condition. So we’re going to try her out in early October for our two-day trip to Tahoe (my final Southwest flight before getting my prized Companion Pass!) and then see how that goes. He’s been doing pretty well but those back legs, man… Today, I saw glimpses of Remy’s decline. But we’re just going to plug along for as long as he’ll plug along. I hope he’ll be ok when we’re in Portland for a few days.

Turning it up

As you know, I’ve been jumping back into the networking pool lately. Unfortunately, the real estate instructor never replied to my email. I’m a little disappointed but not entirely discouraged. Having done this whole process before, reaching out to strangers and trying to make their acquaintance, I know it’s largely a numbers/volume game. I have to just keep plugging. So I still tune in to the instructor’s weekly webinars and one of these days, I will introduce myself to him in person. 

Incidentally, John’s friend T also referred me to her brother who is a realtor. He also did not reply. I get it though. Sometimes people are weird about responding to strangers. I don’t take that shit personally anymore, bc I’m confident that my approach isn’t entitled or demanding.

Interestingly, my own agent D texted me out of the blue last week. We met up yesterday and had a really good catchup over a pedicure and then lunch. She is super open and generous in sharing her experiences as a realtor, so I gained a lot of insight. She also put me in touch with one of her colleagues who is a broker running two real estate offices and growing her team. The thing about D is, she presses forward all the time. I’m sure much of it comes from her background as a trainer and coach and motivator: people in that kind of role have to adopt a certain language and style that nudges people… Still, I’ve never been someone who requires a lot of nudging. Give me your advice and insights, but then I will take it from there. So for example, she was thrilled to introduce me to her two peeps. Right then and there, she called them up on the phone, told them about me, gave glowing reviews, and asked if she could share their contact info with me. They both agreed. So I’m thinking, cool. I’ll reach out to them in the next day. Well, D suggested I call or text them immediately “while the lead is warm” to set up a meeting.

Here’s the thing. I always prefer written over verbal. And when I receive a contact from someone, I have a basic template where I introduce myself, name the connection, and then describe where I am and what I am seeking… And I am a very deliberate writer in that, I like to proof everything so I’m careful with what I say and how I say it. So she’s like telling me to text and I explain that I’m emailing. Then, she’s like wow this email is taking so long, blah, blah. I just ignore her. Then she wants to be copied, which is fine. Long story short, I send off the email and we go to lunch. By the time we’re done with lunch, her friend replies with a meeting date/time. Then D reads my email and acknowledges that it’s good, but then she again pushes me to formalize the meeting immediately. I understand what she’s saying about the connection being warm and being top of mind. But it’s not so urgent that I have to meet the lady TOMORROW or schedule it immediately. I mean, the good thing about D is that she’s just trying to help in her own way. Most people do have shit follow-through, so action items are now or never. But with me, I’ll get it done. Don’t harass me about it, bc I don’t need your prodding. 

I’ve been running up against a similar scenario with Bubbey. Maybe bc he doesn’t have his engineering team or coworkers to boss around and direct, he’s like starting to manage me, and I don’t like it one bit. I was telling him my plan for reaching out to industry practitioners to attend trainings, meet other realtors, and assess fit. D was thinking that if I got along with her lady, maybe I could join that office and ramp up even while I was waiting to take the exam. Bubs was also really focused on sussing out openings with these brokers… 

The thing is, I first need to make sure I pass the test. Then, I’m simultaneously  reaching out and learning about the events and different offices where I can prepare for the test and network with realtors and trainers. I dunno. Maybe he’s just sharing his thoughts, but I often feel like he’s reiterating what I’m already planning to do but somehow he thinks my approach is different from what he’s suggesting. It’s not. It’s frustrating bc I’m fine with spousal influence, but that influence has to run both ways. And that hardly ever happens with his personal/professional development. He basically just shuts down anything I propose in terms of networking and talking to people for ideas on projects and interest areas.

Anyway, in other news, my friend N arrives tomorrow. I have outlined a rough list of things to do so we’ll finetune after she gets here. Rover has been busy too. I had a meet and greet yesterday for a terrier who is kinda feisty and potentially annoying. She’s coming over tomorrow for daycare, so we can better test compatibility for boarding in early October. Then, I have another meet and greet for a referral client (from my esthetician) on Sunday. 

Martin is kinda stressing me out. After the Paso Robles trip, J and I have decided that our only real option now is to have sitters stay in-home, bc Martin gets really confused in new environments now. I met a lady today who seemed good, but she can only do part of our Asia trip, and getting her exact dates of availability has been like pulling teeth. I mean, I need to know so I can cobble something together with another sitter! It’s stressful too just wondering if we’ll even need care for Asia if we put him down before then. Every day is different.

Ok, I’m pretty pooped now. Off to bed.

Teddy Ruxpin

Meanwhile, eBay and Rover and blogging are still happening. John’s last trip back East in August resulted in some additional items for my eBay store. Muhahah. I dunno what my deal is but, my eBay fire has def been rekindled. I mean, there’s just such an ease with posting shit for sale and then coming back 7 days later with the money deposited into your account and the shipping label ready to go. The integration with PayPal and USPS has really streamlined the process, and even though eBay and PayPal take fees, it’s still easier than fielding emails and dealing with flaky people who never show up to check out the item.

As for Rover, Bubble girl began her five day stint with us after we got back from Aspen. I mean, there’s no dispute: BG aka Teddy Ruxpin aka Kayla Bear is pretty dang cute. In fact, on seeing a pic of her, my gal K grew completely obsessed with this Pomeranian, which looks like a unique cross of koala bear + red panda + stuffed teddy bear. For me, I’m thankful the dog was a lot easier than what her comprehensive list of instructions from her mother might have suggested. Ultimately though, she just wasn’t not dog enough for me. It’s too weird having to be so damn careful about trampling over something in your own damn house. Plus, Ruxpin came with a shit ton of gear: a collapsible play pen (5′ in diameter) that practically took up my entire living room, plus a wire crate for sleeping in the bedroom, plus a carrier for the car. And let’s not forget the Whole Foods chicken (but “only a tiny strip at a time” to lure her out of her crate!!). Bottom line? Dogs in Silicon Valley are living THE life for realz!! In the end, all went well and Ruxpin was a cuddly sweetie pie BUT after five days, I was def ready to have my house back. He, he.[FAG id=7474]

Winds of Change

In my real estate books, there is a pair of words that comes up frequently in chapter quizzes and sample tests. Accretion is the gradual addition of land through natural causes. Its antonym is erosion, the gradual loss of land through natural causes. For some reason, with all the recent news of extreme weather, I’ve been thinking a lot about how quickly things can change. One minute, you’re moving one way along with the current, the next minute you’re tossed out of the fucking boat and completely disoriented. I guess that saying is pretty true: the only constant in life is change.

So a lot has happened lately. Mostly good news. Last month, after my friend M totally rocked her job application, Skype interview (while we were in Palm Desert), and onsite job interview, she scored a sweet offer for a higher position at a different public agency. Yup, after 11 years, she’s moving on. Up and up you go, my friend!

My other friend K recently got engaged and this unlocks the next phases of adulting for her. She and the beau are thrilled. I know, that only means more friends with kids in the pipeline for us (ugh). What can you do: the heart wants what the heart wants. JK. Haha! Meanwhile, my friend N recently sold her house, left a job, started a new job, and is now thinking about moving out of state after more than a decade in North Carolina. She’s coming to visit in two weeks and I’m super excited (and have a hefty list already planned out, of course).

Even when all the changes are good changes, for me it really reminds me of the importance of adaptability. Adaptability provides the backbone to progress. After I took the real estate exam prep workshop last Saturday, I realized that many of my steps in transitioning to real estate were sub-optimal. Bc of my fears and reluctance about returning to an academic setting (albeit short termed), I picked the more isolating self study route with online real estate classes, and I took the courses in series rather than concurrently. Also, I def obsessed about grasping the material sufficiently before taking the class exams whereas other people studied way smarter, meaning they understood they needed to just jump through the hoops and focus on getting to the next stage. It really wasn’t about understanding the content but just getting to the next phase. I mean, it’s fine: what’s done is done and I suppose I can view the slower route as a good way of training up my brain to memorize info again, something it really hasn’t done in a very long while.

Still, I was pretty down on myself for a few days. At the end of August, I had submitted my application for the exam date, Again, I just followed the very next incremental step based on info from the Bureau of Real Estate (BRE) website, but after I attended the exam prep workshop, I learned that I was actually supposed to apply for BOTH the exam date plus license issuance at the same time. Ugh, I picked the slower track once again!!! I’m hoping that the BRE will pick up their pace at the end of summer and hopefully cut the wait for both my exam date and the later step of obtaining the license, but we’ll see. I’m frustrated that I’ve kinda been “doing it all wrong,” but I suppose it’s also not the end of the world. As Bubbey has pointed out, there’s still a lot I can do during the waiting game, open houses, learning the neighborhoods, studying the area trends, etc.

I will say, in a minor attempt to recover from all my procedural mistakes, I emailed the instructor on Friday seeking his advice on how best to use the downtime from now until the exam date and license issuance. I asked him about internships and opportunities. I’m going to reach out to a few other real estate people I know to inquire the same things. I know, sometimes it’s downright awkward to ask for assistance, esp from people you barely know. But these are strategies I was taught during my time at the job training center: you have to put yourself out there. And to be fair, there IS a way to ask without sounding entitled. I truly believe that. And on the flip side, whenever a stranger reaches out to me for job advice, I happily oblige and pay it forward… So anyway, here we are. We’ll see how he/they respond.