Category Archives: Work

Teddy Ruxpin

Leave a reply

Meanwhile, eBay and Rover and blogging are still happening. John’s last trip back East in August resulted in some additional items for my eBay store. Muhahah. I dunno what my deal is but, my eBay fire has def been rekindled. I mean, there’s just such an ease with posting shit for sale and then coming back 7 days later with the money deposited into your account and the shipping label ready to go. The integration with PayPal and USPS has really streamlined the process, and even though eBay and PayPal take fees, it’s still easier than fielding emails and dealing with flaky people who never show up to check out the item.

As for Rover, Bubble girl began her five day stint with us after we got back from Aspen. I mean, there’s no dispute: BG aka Teddy Ruxpin aka Kayla Bear is pretty dang cute. In fact, on seeing a pic of her, my gal K grew completely obsessed with this Pomeranian, which looks like a unique cross of koala bear + red panda + stuffed teddy bear. For me, I’m thankful the dog was a lot easier than what her comprehensive list of instructions from her mother might have suggested. Ultimately though, she just wasn’t not dog enough for me. It’s too weird having to be so damn careful about trampling over something in your own damn house. Plus, Ruxpin came with a shit ton of gear: a collapsible play pen (5′ in diameter) that practically took up my entire living room, plus a wire crate for sleeping in the bedroom, plus a carrier for the car. And let’s not forget the Whole Foods chicken (but “only a tiny strip at a time” to lure her out of her crate!!). Bottom line? Dogs in Silicon Valley are living THE life for realz!! In the end, all went well and Ruxpin was a cuddly sweetie pie BUT after five days, I was def ready to have my house back. He, he.

Winds of Change

Leave a reply

In my real estate books, there is a pair of words that comes up frequently in chapter quizzes and sample tests. Accretion is the gradual addition of land through natural causes. Its antonym is erosion, the gradual loss of land through natural causes. For some reason, with all the recent news of extreme weather, I’ve been thinking a lot about how quickly things can change. One minute, you’re moving one way along with the current, the next minute you’re tossed out of the fucking boat and completely disoriented. I guess that saying is pretty true: the only constant in life is change.

So a lot has happened lately. Mostly good news. Last month, after my friend M totally rocked her job application, Skype interview (while we were in Palm Desert), and onsite job interview, she scored a sweet offer for a higher position at a different public agency. Yup, after 11 years, she’s moving on. Up and up you go, my friend!

My other friend K recently got engaged and this unlocks the next phases of adulting for her. She and the beau are thrilled. I know, that only means more friends with kids in the pipeline for us (ugh). What can you do: the heart wants what the heart wants. JK. Haha! Meanwhile, my friend N recently sold her house, left a job, started a new job, and is now thinking about moving out of state after more than a decade in North Carolina. She’s coming to visit in two weeks and I’m super excited (and have a hefty list already planned out, of course).

Even when all the changes are good changes, for me it really reminds me of the importance of adaptability. Adaptability provides the backbone to progress. After I took the real estate exam prep workshop last Saturday, I realized that many of my steps in transitioning to real estate were sub-optimal. Bc of my fears and reluctance about returning to an academic setting (albeit short termed), I picked the more isolating self study route with online real estate classes, and I took the courses in series rather than concurrently. Also, I def obsessed about grasping the material sufficiently before taking the class exams whereas other people studied way smarter, meaning they understood they needed to just jump through the hoops and focus on getting to the next stage. It really wasn’t about understanding the content but just getting to the next phase. I mean, it’s fine: what’s done is done and I suppose I can view the slower route as a good way of training up my brain to memorize info again, something it really hasn’t done in a very long while.

Still, I was pretty down on myself for a few days. At the end of August, I had submitted my application for the exam date, Again, I just followed the very next incremental step based on info from the Bureau of Real Estate (BRE) website, but after I attended the exam prep workshop, I learned that I was actually supposed to apply for BOTH the exam date plus license issuance at the same time. Ugh, I picked the slower track once again!!! I’m hoping that the BRE will pick up their pace at the end of summer and hopefully cut the wait for both my exam date and the later step of obtaining the license, but we’ll see. I’m frustrated that I’ve kinda been “doing it all wrong,” but I suppose it’s also not the end of the world. As Bubbey has pointed out, there’s still a lot I can do during the waiting game, open houses, learning the neighborhoods, studying the area trends, etc.

I will say, in a minor attempt to recover from all my procedural mistakes, I emailed the instructor on Friday seeking his advice on how best to use the downtime from now until the exam date and license issuance. I asked him about internships and opportunities. I’m going to reach out to a few other real estate people I know to inquire the same things. I know, sometimes it’s downright awkward to ask for assistance, esp from people you barely know. But these are strategies I was taught during my time at the job training center: you have to put yourself out there. And to be fair, there IS a way to ask without sounding entitled. I truly believe that. And on the flip side, whenever a stranger reaches out to me for job advice, I happily oblige and pay it forward… So anyway, here we are. We’ll see how he/they respond.

 

Goodbye August

Leave a reply

Monday was the one year anniversary of M’s passing. J and I went up to SF to visit S. She was meeting up with some people at the neighborhood bar, so selfishly, I was dreading a repeat of the 5-hr. drinking session with hoards of people… Luckily, the bar was super quiet with only about five people at our table. We chatted for a bit. M’s best friend scrolled through some pictures and reminisced. I honestly can’t believe it’s been a year. Time just keeps speeding on by.

S appeared well. Like I’ve said before, it’s nearly impossible to really know. Even in rare vulnerable moments, she’s incredibly composed. I often wonder where she derives this strength… so many times I see compassion, forgiveness, and gratitude in her where others might instead display anger, blame, and resentment.

She took the day off and went for a hike with some friends. After about 40 minutes at the bar, J and I headed back to her apartment. She’s redecorating again with fresh paint, new curtains, new outdoor loungers, a cool new coffee table. Like her sisters, she has a real knack for interior decorating. She also recently got a new car, swapping her super old SUV for a very adorable Cooper Mini convertible. That backseat is hella small, but what a fun and energetic ride! Her work is going very well. She continues to move up and travel a ton. I can’t believe the holiday shopping season is upon us again…

S’s life sounds really busy. I wonder how she has so much energy and positivity? Isn’t she tired? What can I learn from her to apply to my life, you know? I’m in a bit of a funk bc I feel like I’m less useful these days, esp since I’m no longer a part of a team or workplace. That said, I don’t miss the office politics and the whole autopilot of doing unimportant crap. I dunno, just need to get that license and get cranking.

My parents just got back from a six-day jaunt in the mountains via a Chinese-run tour bus service. Their itinerary started in Denver, CO and went through WY, SD, ID, and UT. Dad recruited his best friend and his wife from Ohio, so hopefully the four of them had a blast. Meanwhile, I did succeed in getting that pest control guy to credit dad the $70 charge. It took a few calls and texts, but I remained calm and basically reiterated that if traps were removed last July 2015 and no additional work/visits were done since, it really didn’t feel right to be charged for no services rendered. Another small victory for OnStar.

As for my real estate agent, things are kinda weird now. Somehow bumping heads over the August offer just didn’t sit well with either of us. I was also disappointed to discover last week that the house wasn’t posted on various platforms where it was supposed to appear. Back in July when the house was first listed, I’d received automated email/text notifications saying that the house was posted/advertised to several social media platforms. Then, when I checked FB, Twitter, Craigslist, etc. last week, I didn’t see it. WTF, people?!? The point of a project management system is to remind you to complete the tasks, not just check the box without actually doing the work! So I worked with the admin to make sure the house was posted at least on CL. But even after all that, the third open house last weekend yielded only one couple. I suppose that jives with what the experts say: open houses aren’t that helpful anymore bc most buyers do all their research online. Still, it’s hard for me to totally adopt that philosophy when our townhome in Reston sold via open house as did my grandmother’s house in Rockville. Different locales, different audiences maybe.

That’s the other thing: Walkersville seems like a whole other world. Based on my newbie research, there are like a disproportionate number of foreclosures in Walkersville. Argh! I guess the good news is that the open house couple is interested. They are in the process of getting qualified, so we’ll see if they submit an offer. Last week the previously interested couple came back (about 3 weeks later) with basically a repeat of their old offer. I thought that was odd, so I countered with my old offer thinking they were re-starting negotiations. I guess I should have gone back giving up more, but my agent didn’t provide any commentary, so my bad. We’ll see how things go the next few weeks. I dunno. It’s awkward not being on the same page. Live and learn, I guess.

Like a Boss

Leave a reply

Wow, my mind is still buzzing from all the stimulation at BlogHer. My latest thoughts? I’m feeling the need to beef up my knowledge of personal finance and investing. I know, as boring and dry and tedious as that sounds, I am determined to get a handle on this aspect of my life.

So I’m gonna start by coming clean with a major confession. I am 40 y/o, and I have never ever done my own taxes. Yes, I know. WTF kind of Bubble Girl life have I been living? My friends insist that doing taxes is not that hard and with TurboTax, the task is pretty straightforward. Still. I have never done it on my own. When I was growing up, my father had a CPA who did taxes for his business and investments. As soon as I was of working age, my father had me stashing away my paltry internship stipends into various IRAs. At the time, I just did as he advised, bc I mean, as a 16-y/o, I really didn’t give two fucks about the details of “adulting:” I instinctively trusted what they said as best practice. As I evolved into an adult, I continued doing the same habits: maxing out my 401k contributions and stashing funds into IRAs. When I joined forces with Bubs, he took on the responsibility of doing our taxes bc he had been doing his taxes since forever. As a side note, can you believe J and I are celebrating 20 years together this month? It’s crazy to think about just how young we were when we got together. We met when we were mere 20-y/os and then we got married at 26/27. I feel like, when people hear about how young we were, their reaction is similar to mine, like if I were to hear about someone having a baby/getting married as teens or newbie college grads. It feels like, inappropriately young, you know?

Honestly, it’s a fucking miracle that we are still together. Haha. I mean, yeah, we’re both amazing people 🙂 and all, but shit, two decades is a long-ass time to grow together, through so many big life changes. And I mean, not to throw the hubs under the bus, but Bubbey has A LOT of quirks. I know, most people who know us probably think I’m the more difficult/challenging person to tolerate of the two (It’s ok, I know Bubbey’s got that world class social and emotional intelligence that makes him instantly loveable), but shit, he can be difficult. The road hasn’t been all smooth sailing. We’re both super stubborn beotches in our own ways. But I digress…

So yeah, I’m basically admitting to being a princess. I HATE that description, bc it totally suggests a coddled life (which in turn, conjures bad thoughts about my brother…) but at the same time, my background is what it is.

Fast forward to BlogHer. One of the speakers was a former Wall St. baller. She talked about how financially, women are often behind men, bc three big factors work against them: 1) the pay gap 2) an investing gap 3) falling out of the workforce to raise families. While year to year, the gaps might not seem significant, over the entire span of our working/earning lives, the differences compound into something huge. By retirement age, women have less money saved than men even though they outlive them! I came away from this talk realizing that I need to have a better understanding of my personal finances. I’m not talking so much about saving. I’m pretty good at that, but saving only goes so far.

By not educating myself about growing my money, I am only doing myself a disservice. For example, we’ve all read about salary negotiations and how women consistently avoid making the ask. Sure, it’s confrontational and uncomfortable but you know what? The difference is not just in that one moment/instant. The difference is cumulative. I just had a call last week with my friend P. Her boyfriend was urging her to ask for a raise. She had never done this before and she was so stressed. It made me think about a job offer I got many years back. I’d negotiated for salary before, but I was still so nervous and a part of me wanted to just not ask. But thank goodness I did, bc you know what? I got $70k instead of $48k. And if you factor in annual increases or whatever over a woman’s working lifetime, that extra lift is a big fucking deal. Thankfully, my friend made the ask. Unfortunately, her employer is undergoing some management changes, so no results just yet. Still though. No matter what, asking is better than just accepting.

Ultimately though, my takeaway is this. It’s great that I have my father and J as trustworthy, financially-savvy resources, but I need to know this shit for myself bc as I have seen with friends and family, life happens: divorce, cancer, whatever. If empowerment, independence, and self-sufficiency truly are my values, I need to step this shit up.

So the plan is this: I’m going to start reading this book published by The Motley Fool: Warren Buffett Invests Like a Girl, and I’m starting to ask questions, like immediately. This afternoon, I emailed Schwab with some questions about rollovers, and I also called Fidelity about my employer-sponsored 403b. Then I talked to dad about IRAs. My head kinda hurts now, so I’m going to go color my hair. See? Random thoughts all crammed into one head! And all of it discussed on the blog. I do what I fucking want, man! Haha.

Being Dismissed

Leave a reply

I get frustrated sometimes being a woman. As you know, my family has a townhouse back East that’s currently on the market. The agent with whom I’m working was recommended by the previous agent J and I used to sell our first home in Virginia. Anyway, so far the process with this new agent was working out well: on his suggestion, we put in about $10k in renovations prior to putting the property on the market. He’s been very good about driving and staying on schedule. Long story short, we received two offers on the house in less than ten days. The good news is that the house seems priced right enough to solicit offers. The bad news is that the offers feel low.

I mean, I’m not a realtor but at the same time, I’m no stranger to data nor is my family a stranger to real estate. There are so many online tools now for you to see comp properties and figure out market prices. My point is, even though my father and I have access to “experts,” we don’t just follow them blindly. That has never been our style. Even with the Houseboat, I had a realtor whom I trusted THE MOST out of all realtors I’ve dealt with, and I STILL backed up her recs with my own independent research.

Back to the offers: they felt seriously lowball, like $10-15k off after factoring in their request for buyer credits at settlement. I understand that real estate transactions are all about negotiations, and I’m fine to negotiate but I still want a price that I feel is fair. I won’t go into all the numeric details, but for the second offer, we countered twice and ultimately, it came down to $2k. And my agent basically pressured me to take it, based on his predictions for the market and the type of interested buyers we were getting. I had consulted with my father and with J. I decided to hold firm and let the buyers walk away.

The conversation with my agent bugged me though, bc I really felt like he scoffed at my decision. Like when I said I wanted to hold firm, partly bc the offer is too low and partly bc the property has ONLY been on the market for a week, I swear I heard him laugh in disbelief. He kept saying that it was ultimately my decision (yes, I know!), but his response felt really unsupportive. The thing is, my position is the same as my father’s, so I really wonder how the agent’s response might have differed had the decision been verbalized/relayed by my father. J says it’s not necessarily a gender thing, that maybe it was bc I had wavered, like my voice/tone allowed for the possibility of coming down more… Perhaps. And at the same time, the point of experts is for them to share their honest opinions so I certainly don’t want to fault him for his frankness…

That said, I’m trying to be more business savvy. Like J always warns me to look for the other party’s angle and what’s in it for them. For example, all my real estate books say that the agent has fiduciary responsibility to the client, meaning the client’s financial interests are supposed to be above the agent’s. But that’s textbook, and this is real life. As J pointed out, the agent gets the same commission whether he hustles to sell our property at that price in eight days or in one month. Of course, for him, the faster the better so he can move on to selling others. In the end, I explained my position to the agent as this: the house just went on the market. I’m willing to come down, but not that much right now. Maybe after a few weeks, we’ll end up lowering the price anyway. Maybe not. Maybe we’ll get a better offer. I’m willing to take the risk by holding on a while longer.

Needless to say, it was an uncomfortable exchange, and I felt somewhat bullied. And then all that night, I kept replaying that shit over and over in my head. I imagined John or my father delivering the same decision, and I’m certain they would not BELABOR the conversation in their heads afterwards. Is it a confidence thing? Was it a mansplaining thing? Is it me? Is it woman vs. man? Is it my fear of being wrong?

The whole scenario is an interesting experience bc as much as I believe that I’ve seen a lot in my lifetime, there are still so many pockets of naivety and inexperience. I always strive to be more street smart and more business savvy. But I guess those are things that only come through wider exposure. So all I can do is just keep learning. Hopefully, with more experience, I can be faster and surer in my decision-making.

Work Update

Leave a reply

Wow, just like that and another summer month is over! Thankfully, July ended on a great note! Sparky’s mom came to get him last Wednesday, and she was so pleased that she wrote me a 5-star review (without me even asking). Woot, woot!! Bubs and I enjoyed a day with Martin solo, and then on Thursday, the German lady brought her long-haired whippet Carla for daycare. In contrast to Bubble Boy, Carla is a breeze. She can go outside unsupervised; she eats everything and anything (she’s a good Hoover to my messy Martin who leaves food all over the floor); no hand-feeding needed; and she gets along with all the dogs we encounter at the park. On top of that, her owner is a serious power playa (the first woman CEO of a German media company and current tech exec) who’s super nice and flexible to boot. Rover is working out great!

Add to that, a little side hobby/exercise of mine where I research/wonder about the lives of my Rover dogs. So far, every owner has been on the high end, power player side (yes, I look them up on LinkedIn), so I always imagine that their dogs are just living it up in the lap of luxury at home, you know in their hoods of Palo Alto and Los Altos. What do their dogs tell Marty? Do they tell him he’s missing out on the good life?? Haha. I know, I’m a nosy stalker/freak.

Anyway, the German booked me for two weeks of daycare in August after I return from BlogHer. August is shaping up to be a crazy month. J and I are both traveling a ton: we’re headed to LA next week for BlogHer (he’s just tagging along), where btw, Kdash is a keynote!! Hurrah. I’m curious to see how she comes off as a speaker… Then, Bubs is headed back East to handle matters for his parentals. I’m gonna hit up Palm Desert with my friend M (fingers crossed I don’t get heat stroke) for a quickie weekend getaway, and then for J and I’s big 20-year anniversary, we’re hitting up Aspen, CO! We love Denver/Boulder and have been several times but Aspen will be new! Yeah, kinda a lot of traveling but heck, why the fuck not? I gotta earn my Southwest Companion Pass somehow some way, right?

As for the real estate… With all the Rover work and travel planning, real estate was starting to fall to the wayside. At the same time, I realized that my test/school anxiety was cropping up big time, and I was like procrastinating about taking the exam for the second class. Then on Thursday, I called myself out on that bullshit: I mean, I was letting my fear and lack of confidence run me off the path! And if I’m really trying to give real estate a go, how can I possibly assess this career if I do NOT get the damn license? Time to fucking buck up. So on Friday, I woke up determined to take the test. Somehow other shit got in the way (we counter-offered on the Maryland townhouse… but it fell through), but after noon I got all my shit organized, and I sat down to go through the review questions, study guides, and practice tests. What was intended to be a 2-hr review ended up turning into a six-hour study session. And then I said to myself, “Ok, I’ll take the exam Saturday.” Oh, hell no! I was not going to let myself push this exam back another goddamn day. Can you see this internal struggle? Ugh. So I started the test at 8p, finished about 10:15p, and bam: passed. What a huge fucking sigh of relief. Two classes down, one more to go. After that, I’ll be eligible to apply for the license exam. Gotta get ‘er done.

Spurring Action

Leave a reply

Years ago, I read about some study on crying, comparing how frequently women cry compared to men. I think the number back then was six times per month for women compared to only once a month for men. I remember that at the time, immediately on hearing the stats, I scoffed. Big. time. WTF, people. There is no way I cry that much in 30 days. And in typical fashion, Bubbey stepped right in to challenge my reaction: “You definitely cry six or more times per month. You cry just watching things on tv!” Say what? That shit doesn’t count!!! Ok fine, if watching something on tv counts, then fine. Yes, sometimes I get emotional when triggered.

Fast forward to now, and well fuck, last week was a rough one. I must have doubled the monthly average. My trigger(s)? Four days of the fricking Democratic National Convention. Admittedly, since my days at FMF (when I was just a young pup in my 20s) I’ve def stepped back A LOT from politics. When I was at FMF, I was all in: I wrote for the organization’s daily news wire; I crafted letters that constituents emailed to their elected officials; I petitioned in front of the Capitol calling for greater access to emergency contraception and broader abortion rights… I was in it hard. But those days, every time I saw my parents, we argued (mostly about how damaging Republicans were for women and minorities). I was angry every. damn. day, and I was always fighting with someone about something (Johnny was also living with John and me at the time). I even had heated email exchanges with haters who wrote into the organization, complaining about my advocacy emails and other stances to which they disagreed. Back then, I cared so much that it exhausted me. After I left FMF and we moved to China in 2003, I realized just how much I needed that break and distance. Now that I’m forty though, I’ve realized that I’ve shifted to the opposite extreme, to the point of not even wanting to debate politics with friends.

So last week, I watched most of the big DNC speeches… So many of them moved and inspired me. I’d been comfortable in my stepping away and in NOT engaging, but as I listened to Michelle Obama and Cory Booker and Elizabeth Warren and so many others, a part of me couldn’t help but feel ashamed by my inaction and lack of participation. Our voices DO matter. And change happens powerfully when people who have less at stake join in supporting and advocating for people who have everything at stake. So how do I re-enter this treacherous zone without losing my shit? I honestly don’t know. But after I got over feeling disappointed in myself (yet again), I decided that I need to start volunteering again. Last time when I was unemployed for an extended period, I helped the local job center with training and computer lab support. When I lived in China, I used to volunteer with animal rescue orgs. When I lived back East, I taught English to adult immigrants. What happened to that person who cared AND acted?

So I contacted the local day labor center to learn more about volunteer opps with teaching and tech assistance. Even though this isn’t a direct way of defeating Trump in the upcoming campaign, I’m going to view it as a beneficial first step towards reconnecting with things that matter to me.

Meanwhile, some interesting articles I’ve read:
Re: Hillary Clinton for President. Sexism is REAL.
Reconciling the differing roles of spouse vs. daughter: Melania and Ivanka
A reminder to be less judgey

My Rover Record

Leave a reply

Man, my sleep continues to be all kinds of fucked up. I dunno what my deal is: I just can’t stop thinking about shit. Need to get back on that Calms Forte stuff for sure.

I was up early this morning, bc I heard Bubble Boy moving about in the living room. Yeah, for someone who is deaf, I can always hear the doggies. Marty just has to shuffle in his bed, and I’m up. So I took Sparky out to pee. Yeah, Sparky is kinda a lot of work, bc if you just let him out back on his own, he gets all into the far corners of the yard and starts digging in the mulch. And that damn schnoodle (schauzer-poodle) fur is like felt– it picks up everything. SMH. After he peed, we came back inside. I went back to bed. Thirty minutes later, he came into the bedroom and jumped on the bed. Weird. He hardly ever comes into the bedroom. We shooed him off and then he proceeded into my bathroom and started barfing. WTF? Then he walked down the hallway and puked again. Huh? We never even deviated from his special diet!! He went outside again and then seemed mostly fine. I entered into the kitchen and holy fuck, there was urine by the kitchen door. Seriously? The day before his last day and all at once?

I started getting worried, like maybe he’s sick? Thankfully, he was back prancing around on our walk to the park. I texted his mom to report the odd behavior. I was a little worried she’d pepper me with a ton of questions, but she just said sometimes he gets an upset tummy, pukes, and returns to normal. Ok then! The rest of the morning, he’s appeared fine. Whew! I can’t be marring my Rover record, you know? 🙂

In other news, my Big Brother system is working out great with the parentals. I check in periodically to see if they are out and about. The renovations are done at the townhouse, so the house listed today. Goddamn, housing in Maryland is cheap! I’m a little concerned bc a lot of properties in that range and area seem to be bank owned or foreclosed, which kinda brings the values down. But we’ll see. We’re pretty happy with the reno work: not too expensive and more importantly, on time! Woohoo!

I’ve been meaning to report back on the SmileDirect Club stuff. I was almost ready to do it. I still need to video the animated treatment plan, bc that shit is what nearly sold me. In the end though, I talked with my friend/esthetician G and she seriously thought I was mad. She kept asking to see my smile and my teeth… she was like, “you know, we all have our hangups, but to me, it’s completely unnecessary and like borderline ridiculous/crazy.” The thing is, I hate my smile. Not just bc my teeth are crooked, but bc my nose is too big and my lower lips expose the entire mouth full of teeth. If you study beautiful smiles (which I have), you’ll notice that only the upper teeth show and the smile doesn’t compete with other overpowering facial features. Anyway, long story short, I decided to pass for now on the aligners bc even if my teeth were straighter, I’d still be unhappy with my smile. Pretty much, I would need a face job to fix that shit.

Of course, to compensate for the inaction with repairing my smile, I moved forward on my tatted brows. I had gotten microblading done years ago when I was in Shanghai and I loved it. My brows are super sparse (bc I’m practically hairless) so the added color and definition works wonders. For the last several months, I’d been hand drawing/enhancing that shit and honestly, I’m getting sick of the day-to-day inconsistencies with the arch and thickness and whatever. So I had done some research on local vendors months ago, and then I found a Groupon deal and, I moved on it! Last week I was all set to do it, but then as I talked to Bubbey and some friends, they all sounded really apprehensive. Like, are you sure you want to go to a Groupon lady? Even her regular price of $300 seems way cheaper than other places that typically charge $500 and up. Why is she so cheap, they asked with suspicion? So I booked the appointment and figured I would just talk to her first and assess on site.

Well, on my way over to the appointment, I started getting all stressed in the car. What if the tattoo is fucked? What will I do for the next 1-2 years? Maybe I can cover it up with concealer, blah, blah. I was freaking myself out. Then, when I arrived at the salon, it was essentially a coworking salon space, so there were a ton of stylists and all the customers were old white women. Like grandmas!!! Oh shit!!! She emerged from her room 30 minutes late for the appointment (the previous appointment ran over), but when I saw her, she was this cute and pretty little Cambodian lady. Hey man, first impressions are legit. Her brows were kinda sharp/angled and they were filled brows not microbladed, but dang, she had a beautiful face and very pretty eyes! She was all frazzled about running behind schedule… In the end though, it all turned out fine. She said I had done an excellent job penciling my brows (!!!), so she was going to basically follow the same shape. She penciled in the area first. It looked fine. I was trying not to be too perfectionist and overly obsessive. I lied back, she spread on the numbing gel, and she got to work. It wasn’t really painful, but the pressure on the brows is intense and the scraping noise is a little unnerving. Scrape, scrape, scrape and then she does heavy wiping of the area with a damp napkin. Repeat. Not very gentle for the tender eye area but I think it’s necessary for her to distinguish where there is hair and not. Then she started explaining how there’s a lot of variability with people’s face muscles, like depending on your dominant eye and how you make expressions. I was thinking: man, beauty is already so subjective and then to throw in all these other factors: shit, this is a high stress job!!! Should she spend more time studying my face muscles? I started to worry again. Then voila, my right eye was done. She moved onto the left eye… the pressure felt stronger and the lower part of the brow felt super sensitive. And that damn scraping… fuck man, the things we do for vanity!! She said my left muscles are weaker so I was bleeding more. She applied more numbing cream.

She paused and gave me the mirror. I brought it up to my face. OMG, that right arch is high!! Shit. Is that arch a little high, I asked? She said she followed my pencil. Uh…. Then I sat up. Thank fucking god. Much better. Since I was lying down, my face was pulled back a little. After I sat up, much better. I mean, the arch is still quite distinct, but mostly bc she cleaned up the under brow area big time. We continued. After about 40 minutes under, all done. And then my brows started stinging like a mother fucker. Burning. The new brows are def dramatic and dark (the color will fade 20-30% in the coming weeks as the brows scab over) but I’m pleased. For freehand work, that lady’s got skillz. I go back next month to touch up the color and do any minor tweaks. What a relief it all turned out!

It’s now been a few days and the aftercare just involves dabbing dry after washing and then applying Vaseline. I am digging the permanent makeup thing. Not that my brows took that much time in my routine, but it’s cool to just have them consistently low maintenance. Of course, the next day, what did I do? J and I took the convertible up to San Rafael, and we hung out with his sister S and her buds, eating oysters along Tomales Bay. I fucking sunburned my forehead really bad. Fucking blazing red. Been icing and putting on lotion but that shit is still red. Hope the skin calms down real soon.

Cody the Cuddlebunny

Leave a reply

I’m such an extrovert/introvert split personality. Sometimes I get into homebody mode, where I can stay on the Houseboat for days on end without leaving the premises. I can’t quite explain it, but I do this odd dance, bouncing from one extreme to the other: on one hand, there’s the comfort and complacency of being home. Like yeah, I’m just doing my thang: internet research, listening to my real estate podcasts, cooking my meals, blogging, Pinteresting, OnStarring, and chilling with the dogs. It’s kinda nice and peaceful and quiet. When I get out of unabomber mode though, I like to catch up with everybody– host parties and email/call/visit with all my friends.

Last week was one of my more extroverted weeks. I met up with two of my former university interns (separately). Sometimes, if you can believe it, I actually like young people. Haha. No, it’s kinda cool getting the scoop on their summer internships and learning what they’re hoping and planning for the future. It was always really important to me to be a good boss. After all that shit I’d read about leadership and influence, plus having my own fair share of jobs with shitty bosses, I really wanted their internship with me to be organized, interesting, and positive. It’s been about six months since I left, so I was pleasantly surprised when they reached out and wanted to meet up. One intern is working a 9-5 summer job for the first time ever. She’s struggling (like so many) with the rigidity of that arrangement. That said, she’s gaining more clarity on what she wants to do in the future– hello, social media!! The other intern just graduated with a masters in computer science, so he’s been on an aggressive job hunt. We talked about networking events and job strategies… I’m planning to reach out to some of my tech contacts to see if they have any advice for a new grad seeking opps in UX/UI. Overall, I had a good visit with both students.

In other happenings, my retired buddy T recently invited J and me to scope out his new digs in Sunnyvale. He’s going through a divorce so for the first time since forever, he is living solo (well, with his dog) and LOVING it. T is one of the chillest dudes I know. We worked together at the gov agency, and he was such a great yin to my yang: no matter what I was fretting about, he was consistently positive, level-headed, and just plain relaxed. In his retirement, he’s continued to stay super active: playing racquetball, biking, kayaking, going on poker cruises. He’s a real role model for J and me, who have always struggled with balance. Anyway, his apartment community is a great spot in Sunnyvale that’s totally his style– a little old school in that the structures are probably from the 70s/80s, but his one BR apartment was recently renovated and the property is tucked away under a big canopy of old redwoods. It’s a beautiful, quiet setting that’s also walking distance to the Caltrain (he hates to drive). It makes me so happy when my friends are living comfortably and doing well.

Back on the Houseboat, things were getting a little crowded with Bubs being home again and with Sparky the Bubble Boy schnoodle joining the crew of Martin and Cody. Sparky is 14 y/o and well, he’s a good dog but clearly he’s quite coddled. I’m so fascinated by the broad spectrum of pet parents: they really run the gamut just like with human parents! When Cody arrived, his parents gave me like three lines of instructions. By contrast, when Sparky arrived, he came with pages and pages of detailed info, ranging from directions on hand feeding him to limiting his sun exposure to frequently refreshing his water bowl. In the owner’s defense, Sparky is older and more fragile, but still… When I supervised him in the backyard, it was a bit like witnessing a kid going to college for the first time: he really enjoyed the new surroundings, but he didn’t seem to know to stay out of the flower beds and to not dig and make a total mess. Which might explain why his parents was so adamant about him being restricted and limited so much outdoors… Kind of a vicious cycle, right?

It makes me a little sad, bc my brother comes to mind. He was so over-coddled and over-protected that as an adult, he never really developed responsibilities and common sense for basic survival (like doing laundry, washing the dishes, taking out the trash). It’s too bad, bc you can see that Sparky has personality and some zest, but it’s all rather muted bc he isn’t allowed to be free.

On the other hand, Cody is a total rambunctious bundle of energy and joy. Admittedly, there are differences in age and breed but with Cody, he also engages regularly with other dogs. He’s been in people’s yards. Like, he has the experience to know adult dog etiquette, you know? Man, in ten short days, I got so damn attached to Cody. Yup, I fell for him even harder than I did for Ramona. When his family came, I held it together just long enough for them to load up and get into the car. Then, it was meltdown central. Full on tears and wailing. I know, I am ridiculous. Thankfully, 1) I made Bubbey do a photo shoot to add to my Cody album and 2) I’d already experienced the heartbreak from Ramona, so the sadness didn’t linger forever like it did before. I do miss his spunk and playfulness though. A few days after he went home, I followed up (of course) with a text to see how he was settling back in. I was super stoked bc the owner says she’ll call on me again the next time they travel. Yay!

Btw, did you know all the area animal shelters are doing their #cleartheshelters campaign this weekend where adoption fees are waived? Sometimes I daydream about getting a second pooch, but you know Bubs: he doesn’t want to be tied down. For now I suppose Rover is satisfying all my needs. And Marty is loving it also: his appetite has come back full force. J is placing bets that Martin will make it to 17!! We’ll see.

Don’t Boss the Boss

Leave a reply

I’ve been back on the Houseboat now for a week, and well, the reassimilation has been challenging to say the least. Immediately, I had a Rover client scheduled for the day after getting in. Cody is a corgi, so with that breed comes some strong characteristics: he was very sad to be separated from his family (for two days, he slept by the door, hoping that they would come back), and he’s super sensitive to noise. I guess J and I kinda got used to being with deaf oldies who NEVER ever bark, so having someone alert us to every little sound was initially, quite disruptive. But there are also endearing qualities that make Cody quite loveable. He’s super attentive: he always keeps an eye on me, and he loves to play. He chases balls and even entertains himself chewing on that thing long after fetch is over. It’s Day 9 and I have to say, he’s even got Bubbey wrapped around his little midget paws. I came down with a cold on Saturday night (I ALWAYS get sick near/around my visits with family!!), and after that, Cody was pretty routinely making himself comfortable in the bed. Yes, the human bed where dogs have been prohibited for YEARS. Goddamn, he is super soft though. And those wet puppy kisses are irresistible. I mean, I still have a soft spot for my first Rover Ramona, but the big advantage of Cody is that he doesn’t have an ounce of odor. For reals. Even his breath is fresh. Seriously, you have to see to believe.

After two days of being mostly bedridden and sweating my brains out, I am finally bouncing back from my sickness. Just in time for another Rover client who is coming tomorrow. The poodle mix Sparky is much older and I expect him to be more high maintenance, esp given the detailed instructions I received from his parent. Seven days. We’ll see how things go!

As predicted, Marty is doing so great with these other dogs. What a testament to the power of social connections in promoting health! He likes having a buddy.

What else. Oh, on Friday, I met with a power player German woman who is seeking M-F daycare for her senior whippet. She was very happy with our meet and greet (hee, hee), and I was ready to proceed, but as soon as she left, Bubbey started getting on my case about booking all my time and no longer being flexible for our summer travels.

That’s the thing about Bubbey and me. We are always off in our timing. When I’m not working, he’s starting a new gig. When he’s not working, I’m starting a new job. For the first time ever, we are both not working. But he has all these grand ideas about hitting the open road and traveling… All while my plan these last few months has been to get my license and start practicing real estate in the fall. And as a chronic travel commitment-phobe, he’s super frustrating to pin down when making plans. When I ask for specific dates, he never gives them. So I just started booking plans for Rover, and he got all annoyed about my lack of consultation and how my work plans are eating into his “unplanned” plans. WTF, dude?

Yes, we had just talked the other day about trying to rent an RV to try out the nomadic lifestyle. But before, he told me all the RVs were booked for the summer. And we can still RV for three days on the weekends. Frankly, until you can put concrete dates in place, I’m going to keep working and booking Rover! I dunno: maybe there was a miscommunication. I was thinking summer was out except for the weekend quickie trips. Argh, fine! I went back to the German and told her I’m not as available as I had initially stated. I mean, it’s ok: I agree it’s rather silly to be housebound for just a $30/day gig, but I’m just saying, don’t make me turn down work and then we end up doing nothing at all.

Speaking of Bubbey, this last week being home together was somewhat frustrating. Since I’ve been back, he’s gotten on my case every damn day about studying for real estate. How much studying did you get done today? When are you going to take the class test? How many pages did you read? WTF, dude? I do not need to be herded. You know the deal. Yeah, I fell off the wagon while I was back in MD, but um, can you blame me? Did you see all the bullshit I had to deal with? And now I’m just getting back into the swing of things, and you’re harping on me about my study schedule? Not cool. Go put yourself on a schedule first, and then we can talk. SMH. Marriage. It’s a lot of work, man.

In other news, the reno work on the townhouse back east is progressing swimmingly. The realtor just sent me pics today: new kitchen flooring, new lighting throughout, paint touch ups, new appliances, granite countertops, etc. The construction work is right on schedule, and we’re expecting to go live with listing this weekend. Woohoo. Goddamn, I love it when people know how to manage projects! I could see myself getting into construction project management…

What else. Oh, my parents booked their trip to Taiwan for the fall, so that means I’ll be booking our trip there soon. My dad suggested that we visit for 10-14 days, but I think I’ll keep it short and sweet given my last great experience. Also, I’m super stoked that my childhood friend N is coming to visit in mid September. It’s been many years since she’s come to California, so it’ll be great to have her out again. She’s getting antsy in NC, so I think a big change is on the horizon for her.