Category Archives: Getting Shit Done

Hunger Games

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A few months ago, J and I got into a popcorn habit. It became this sort of evening snack ritual that we would share while watching something on tv. Most of you know I don’t watch a lot of tv— I’m very picky about committing to content: it can’t be too violent, it can’t be a series (too much emotional investment), and it can’t be slapstick. I told you already, I’m picky. Needless to say, the genre that came up the latter half of last year was dinosaur and monster verse type of movies. They seemed to provide the right level of action, some mild relationship plot, and then enough films to give us some continuity and theme without the emotional attachment. I mean all of this boils down to my problem of overthinking. If I start to consider the characters in a film to be too human, I will take on their problems and try to fix them. Seriously. I will lie awake in bed trying to figure things out for them. I’m telling you, my brain works in strange ways.

After I got COVID around Thanksgiving, somehow a fire got lit under my ass. My sleep has been shit my whole life, my skin was breaking out crazy again (despite being on very strong antibiotics and Retin-A), and I was just feeling very run down and tired. In December, I asked my doctor for a full blood work up. The results showed that I was pre diabetic. At first, I was just going to ignore it: after all, I wasn’t diabetic, just PRE. But then several of my friends were also found to be prediabetic recently, and they apparently freaked out and started taking drastic action. Figuring that they had actually spent some time studying the numbers and understanding the real implications, I decided now was as good a time as any to re-examine my health.

So since late December, I’ve cut back on carbs (mostly rice and breads) and on portions. Plus I’ve started focusing on improving my sleep and increasing my activity. It’s been almost a month now, and I am pleased to report progress!!

I’m not gonna lie: I was definitely feeling VERY hungry the first several weeks. Like a new baseline of chronic hunger. Distracting hunger. I realized I used to eat a shit ton of rice and breads to quickly get my meals over with. Like that was the bulk of my consumption. After reducing those foods, I found myself grasping for other things to eat: tomatoes here and there, cauliflower, avocados, kefir… Desperate to dull the hunger pangs, I even started taking Metamucil before meals. But the gelatinous texture started to get gross after a few days so I discontinued that. Eventually, after maybe two weeks, my body adjusted to the new normal of NOT feeling full. And my clothes actually started to fit better, so the results were encouraging!

Meanwhile, for my sleep, my friend recommended an OTC supplement (NatureMade Back to Sleep), so I started up with that and tacked on three other routines before bed:

1. Roll out knots in my back using an acupressure wheel,
2. Lower my mattress heater temp,
3. Lock away my phone,
4. White noise machine.

And whaddya know? I have been sleeping soundly for the first time in my life… The weird thing is, I had previously tried all of these tactics independently but never all together. Who knew? So now I am catching up on my sleep deficit and damn, it feels good.

J has also shed some pounds going on the prediabetic diet/lifestyle change, and his snoring has diminished significantly. So we are excited for more good things in 2024. This year is our zodiac year, and we’re both dragons. We’re using that as motivation to make some changes for the better.

As for the popcorn ritual, we are taking a bit of a break. But it might come back occasionally, once we find some new content to watch. I’m thinking we’re going to get back into Chinese films featuring actors from our China days (2003-2006).

Head of Household

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It’s a new year, and I am checking off a whole shit ton of items on the to do. Actually, many of the things were back burner level of priority but I will say, it feels damn good to come outta the gates swinging and get shit done. It’s got me thinking though about other households throughout the country. There’s a LOT of logistics to handle… Who is taking care of these tedious things?!?!? J and I are just a household of TWO people. How is this being juggled with two jobs, kids, school, etc.?

First item I tackled was medical insurance. Since I’m an independent contractor, we have to get our own health insurance. After my monster medical bill at the start of COVID in 2020 (ERCP + gall bladder removal), I got firsthand experience seeing how much medical expenses can add up. I mean, even if we account for exaggerated pricing due to the continual battle between insurers and providers, I was in the hospital for a day and a half, and the bill was $110k. Yeah, let that sink in. Thank goodness, we were only responsible for $500 bc of insurance.

The point is, J and I are now squarely at that age where medical issues are popping up on the regular (hello frozen shoulder), so we def need coverage. For the last several years, we just got the Obamacare/Realtor group plan that ran about $1000/month (at least when we started a few years ago). I typically didn’t change plans year after year during open enrollment, bc I’m happy with Kaiser and I figured the annual increase would be marginal. Wrong. This year, our monthly premium increased from $1200/month to $1550. WTF? When I found out, the enrollment period had already closed. So I thought we were stuck for the next year paying an extra $250/month.

Of course, I immediately started panicking feeling like we were trapped. And then I did a little bit of digging and learned that various realtor associations offer group plans. So mine is through the state association of realtors but the local association also has packages. Long story short, since I changed from one local association to another, that was considered a “qualifying event” that re-opened the enrollment window. I mean, I won’t belabor it further, but lesson 1: pay attention to any notices about annual increases in insurance premiums and lesson 2: read the fine print.

With the local association, I’m able to downgrade our Kaiser plan and get that premium back down to $1200. Meanwhile, I get to keep my medical record number and continue seeing my current doctors. Yay!

The other low-priority task we did this month was bundle fiber and wireless service. We’d been on Verizon forever and the signal at home was shit. We just put up with it bc we knew switching was a pain. Well, this time we just ripped the band aid off. I met a super helpful store manager, talked to him a few times, and we got everything moved over, saving at least $100/month. The big lesson I learned from there? AARP recently got rid of their min age requirement!! And an existing membership can cover TWO people. So now not only do I get reading material that speaks to me (I AM Benjamin Button after all), but by piggybacking on my dad’s membership, I gain access to a whole other world of discounts (kinda like AAA) PLUS it saved me the $50 AT&T activation fee and granted me another 10% discount on the monthly bill. Yup, stack ’em up, baby. It’s been a while since I scored some good dealios, and I’d forgotten the highs I get from a sweet bargain. I know it sounds tedious, but once you get the hang of it, the savings add up.

Speaking of… I’m still using Rakuten/Ebates. Just a tiny extra step and over time, it accumulates to $1200 in savings just going through their shopping portal. And our upcoming midweek trip to St. Helena? One night is free. Hehe. I know, not the most exciting post for 2024. Just saying, you can save some dough if you pay attention. That’s all for now. More exciting stories to come. Hurrah!

Two Bosses

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John always jokes that my father and I are very similar. I mean, like they say: the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree… And the reason we clash is bc we both like to be the boss. John always describes us as the two bosses: one boss bossing the other boss. I won’t disagree. Each meeting essentially becomes a monster to-do session, with my dad ranting off a laundry list and I’m the executor. The thing is, he likes to give me entire brain dumps of tasks… like even while I’m in the middle of working on one item, he’ll start going into details about the next thing. These are the moments when I come damn close to reliving my notorious “I’m not your fucking secretary” moment. I mean, he also hovers while I’m doing the tasks. Like a total maniacal micro manager!

So this time I went back, and his internet had shitty signal again. This has been an ongoing issue for the last several years tbh. I kept telling him to call the cable guy and get the shit upgraded and for whatever reason, he just couldn’t get it done. As a result, year after year, we put up with his devices jumping from one network to the other, causing all kinds of spotty issues with the printer, his phone, laptop, security cameras, etc. It drove me insane every damn time I had to remote tunnel into his computer.

So then this trip, I got sick on arrival and quarantined in none other than the bedroom with NO goddamn cell or internet signal. Yup, five days in the slammer with shoddy to nil service.

As soon as I got out, I hit up the Costco, bought a new $60 router, called the cable guy, and the next day, voila, we have freaking fire. Strong, reliable internet in every goddamn room. Was that so hard that I had to fly half way around the globe to get this issue fixed?!?! Apparently, yes.

Btw an example of dad the micromanager: so obviously, he has no clue about tech. Yet when the service guy came, dad asked me to explain the situation to him and then he wanted to explain it to the tech. I’m like dad: I got it. Why would I communicate thru you? This isn’t the freaking telephone game. I know the issue and I can speak in Chinese to communicate with the tech. Jesus Christ. I mean, my non native Chinese plus knowledge of tech is way better than your native language skills and zero understanding of tech.

I told you. In any given situation, whatever the answer is, my dad will select THE most complicated and circuitous route to arrive at the solution. For realz. Time and time again. FML.

So then the guy is there in the living room setting up the device that I bought. I’m already there giving the tech details like what to name the network, what password I want, changing the router log in, updating the firmware and then dad is there hovering trying to re-explain shit I already went over. I’m telling you: It was a goddamn shit show. I was like Dad, stay in your fricking lane!!! Can you see why it’s so damn challenging and exhausting spending time with my parents???

Unrecognizable

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Omg the Taiwanese are so obsessed with weight. Every time I go back, everyone’s all up in each other’s bidness about who got fat and who got skinny. And no, they don’t use any euphemisms. Everything is straight up radical honesty.

In recent zooms before the trip, my dad keep asking me if I had put on some pounds. I said I didn’t think so, and he was like are you sure?? Fucking Chinese. So uncouth about their topics of conversation.

Yeah, so during this trip, my family asked me how much I weigh. It was so foreign to them that I don’t weigh myself and do not know my number. As soon as I said that, my aunt busted out the scale. Yes, like they have a scale in every room of the house. I’m telling you. East meets west and then things crash and burn. I’ve gained maybe five pounds. To me, that is nbd.

Last year when my grandma died, my cousin AH went to stay overnight at another cousin’s (WQ) house. He and his parents told me later: OMG she got so fat. Her butt and legs… they exclaimed: she used to be one of our skinniest cousins!!! I’m thinking, yeah, of course she was, like when we were in our fucking 20s. The standards for women here are so ridiculous.

AH proceeds to say WQ’s face got so pudgy that it completely altered her face shape. She was practically unrecognizable. Yup, those were the exact words. In Chinese of course. Still. So damn dramatic.

I see her year after year. And she looked the damn same. John agreed. I called them out on it, and then they doubled down, saying she even admitted her clothes stopped fitting her!! As if that immediately meant she gained so much weight so as to become unrecognizable. Ridic.

I mean, depending on how tight a person wears her clothes, you can literally gain a measly 3-5 pounds and your clothes won’t fit. Calm the hell down people. Seriously.

Pre-Travel Anxiety

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Every year, in the weeks leading up to my annual trip to Taiwan, the dread starts to set in. It’s almost part of the entire routine and ritual now… a foreboding precursor before I meet my parents again. For some reason, the anxiety felt a little heavier this time. I suspect the weight of it had something to do with me feeling more accepting of my personal limitations and shortcomings. Is it self-acceptance, or is it more an acquiescence or resignation even? I’m not sure, but this time I felt a real fear of losing my temper with them.

In the past, my rage would unfurl at the drop of a pin, with an intensity that took no prisoners. But now that I’m older and their fragility is so much more apparent, I really want to keep my cool and composure. I know the triggers run deep, but I have to do better.

So in my typical fashion, ahead of the visit, I spent time planning logistics: what items needed to be brought back (printer cartridges, new phones, gifts), what gifts to take, what activities to schedule, tasks in advance and during, who to see, where to go, yada, yada. Due to J’s work schedule and Bentley care (always an issue), I was going solo this time, and the 11 days was going to be an eternity.

For most people, that doesn’t sound like an exorbitant amount of time, but keep in mind, I do not even vacation for longer than 5-7 days. Yes, I am that fucking uptight. I think I’ve gone on maybe only two or three trips with J that went longer than 8 days. Needless to say, I was concerned (as were many of my friends) about this duration with my family. In preparation, I scheduled two therapy sessions plus a pedicure and a massage… all to get my bucket topped up. Sure, there were stressors and the usual bullshit that arose at work, but I really tried my damnedest to be in optimal form.

Then, mistake 1: I decided to get my relatives some last-minute gifts necessitating a trip to the mall DURING HOLIDAY SEASON. High risk behavior. Fucking A. Mistake 2: J started exhibiting symptoms but we didn’t give it too much thought, bc he’d been having asthma issues for a bit. Mistake 3: I booked a Thanksgiving week flight– bursting at the damn seams.

And so my journey began… 22-freaking-hrs door-to-door. The flight itself, as I mentioned being the week of Thanksgiving, was of course crazy. Maxed out. The airline kept dangling promos asking passengers to volunteer getting bumped. Despite my propensity for dealios, I resisted. I tried to make the best of a long haul.

Immediately on touchdown, J informed me he tested positive for Covid. Great. Nothing to do about it now, so I hopped the metro, train, and car ride to my parents’ home in Kaohsiung, I didn’t feel so hot on arrival– sniffly nose, burning eyes, headache… then again, I had just traveled for 22 hrs. I took the test. Negative.

In true task master fashion, I very quickly unveiled to Dad my newest strategy for giving him autonomy and control over his matters (Google Fi phone). He gave it a few test runs and after I got his printer back online and working again (you have NO idea how damn buggy all his tech is), he was back in business printing out statements and paperwork– happy as a clam.

A few hours later, I was in bed though, and the fever started ramping up. Yup, an awful start to the dreaded trip. To be candid, I def didn’t do my body any favors with all the pre-trip anxiety and worry. The day after arrival, I knew I was sick… for the first time since 2019 if you can imagine! The test came back a solid positive. Coughing, fever, congestion.

I will say, thankfully, it’s not the sickest I’ve ever been and for that, I am thankful to have received the recent boosters in late October. I’m now in Day 4 of a 5-day quarantine, aka a “forced rest.” Clearly, I’m not good at letting my body take a break. I need to learn some new healthy habits pronto.

Dipping the Toes

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I took a bit of a hiatus from the blog… work got busy and I dunno, I just got out the cadence of writing/blogging. I’m told too that no one blogs anymore. Turns out it’s too long of a medium (TLDR) or whatever. People don’t have time for your wordy bullshit. Whatevs. I’ve never been one to follow what’s trending anyway. For example, I got into SATC like ten years after the series started. Same with rollerblading. And I still wear my low-rise skinny jeans even though high-rise mom jeans are the thing. So sue me.

Anyway, the thing about my blog is that it’s more for me than for others anyhow. I happen to like having a collection or history of my life stories and experiences… and I enjoy the catharsis that comes from writing. It helps my brain process and declutter. So that’s why I’m jumping back in. I’ve missed it.

So let’s see: what’s happened since I last left. I’m still in real estate. My parents moved back to Taiwan full time around 2021. The last several months, business for me has been tough. Interest rates jumped from the low 3s to now 7s, and that’s certainly done a number on the slowbo buyers (my specialty) who took too much damn time trying to find THE perfect house or wanting to score THE perfect deal.

I dunno how I get stuck with these people. I’ve always been a very strong driver, where getting things done trumps all other things for me… so even though I relate very well to the careful and cautious, strong-attention-to-detail type of clients (trained up with my dad after all), they also drive me craaaazy. I try to be very blunt with them: I tell them this market isn’t for everyone. You’re not going to check off all the items on your wishlist. If you can’t move fast and accept a higher-than-normal level of risk, please have the sense to drop out and wait for a different market. Know yourself. Maybe that’s the problem though. People don’t really know themselves, I guess.

Needless to say, after many months of activity but limited wins, I was feeling incredibly tired and frustrated. A few weeks ago, I made a change. A new opportunity cropped up where my Chinese friend/agent partner split from her biz partner, and she needed someone to join her, especially on listings. Up until now, I was primarily working with buyers. In a competitive market though, where each home receives multiple offers, it’s tough to pull out the W. If you work the seller/listing side, you have a higher chance of closing the deal, bc the seller is the fixed side of the transaction. So, I made the move. It wasn’t easy bc I have a lot of loyalty to my former team and brokerage, but like I said, getting things done trumps all else in my book. So, despite the awkward and difficult conversations, I couldn’t be stopped.

Since the move, things have been swinging up. Part of it is that buyers are getting motivated again now that summer is coming to an end. The other part is that my new partner is very savvy and entrepreneurial. In the last ten days, I’ve had a lot of activity: listing appointments, new buyer consultations, offer submissions, a closing, etc. I’m back to feeling optimistic, if you can imagine that.

In other news, I am continuing with therapy. It’s cut back now to once a month, and I feel like my issues are pretty ingrained but the awareness helps and certainly, I appreciate having a sounding board. I am going back to brainspotting to see if that can help dislodge some of my deep-set thoughts/attitudes.

I am trying to be a little more balanced with my life too. It’s very hard for me to get out of my work mode/zone, but I am going on more trips/getaways. Nothing excessive– a weekend here, a few days for a trip to Bend over July Fourth holiday, etc. but it’s a bigger deal for me than you think. I am my father’s daughter after all.

Build a Fire

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Excerpted from a LinkedIn post that resonates with me today:

As a young lawyer, when work was slow, I got nervous, anxious, and fixated on working harder to get busy again. Now, I take a different approach. I tell myself, “Build a fire”.

In law school, Professor, Chief Judge, and former Marine James Baker told a story: It was freezing during a winter live-fire exercise in Infantry Officer school. He and his fellow trainees were shivering and sullen.

During a lull, a Major walked up and barked, what are you doing?

Judge Baker yelled out, waiting for the enemy so we could attack.

The Major said, No, what are you doing freezing?? Build a fire!

Judge Baker built the fire. Soon the soldiers warmed up, rejuvenated, and returned to their ferocious selves more ready to charge ahead.

As a young, ambitious lawyer, work getting slow was worrying. Where would the next deal come from? Would I be slow forever? Would I hit my target hours? I focused on all the things I could to generate business. I would wrote articles, built my skills, networked, scheduled coffee meetings, and made myself busy. This was deeply hurtful to my wife. She had unconditionally supported me when I was busy, but how could I not focus on my relationship with her during work slow times? Regardless of my efforts and anxiety, the next deal always came and I exceeded my billable-hour targets each year. As the economy slows and private equity and venture capital activity decrease, a lot of younger corporate lawyers are biting their nails. Some have reached out to me asking, what should I do when I’m slow?

My response: build a fire.

Invest in the parts of you that you neglected during the busy times. Engage with people who love you. Do the hobbies that make you feel free and happy, and allow your mind to wander.

I deepen my connection to my wife and children. I go on hikes with them and breathe fresh air. I exercise more. I walk my goats to greener pastures and fix the chicken coop. I call my parents, my brothers, and friends that I long since neglected.

I stay up late laughing and sleep a bit later in the morning. Work will get busy again and when it does I will be a more energized, mentally healthy, and productive M&A lawyer.

Even though I love being an M&A lawyer, an M&A lawyer is not all I am. I have other parts of me that must be nurtured and cultivated.

When work is slow, let’s resist sprinting to the next goal post. Instead, stop and build a fire. You will be better for it.

Losing Offers

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O.M.G. Some days, people really just blow my fucking mind. Last month, an agent friend referred a buyer to me. You see, my friend services Chinese clients exclusively, so anytime she gets other leads, she sends them my way. Yes, it’s a great resource for business. I’m super grateful to her for this hook up. But dang, as with any leads, you get good ones and you get quite a few duds.

So I set up a call with this new family. They’d been working with another agent for many months and submitted a few offers. I know, that should have been red flag number 1. Nothing stuck, and rather than the problem being that they were low-ballers, they determined that perhaps they needed an agent who was more experienced and more communicative.

So they ran down their list of requirements: single family, location, sqft, lot size, bedrooms, aesthetics. The usual. They gave me their budget. Right off the bat, I knew it was going to be a stretch, bc prices have continued to skyrocket (I’m not even exaggerating), and I mean, there’s a lot of “champagne taste on a beer budget” kind of bullshit happening. They explain that they want a decent amount of space for the newborn and active toddler, etc.

So I spend weeks with them, sending homes, discussing disclosures, reviewing market data, talking about the logistics of making an offer. They had submitted before and yet, given their questions, it became clear to me that they weren’t particularly well versed on the process nor on the market. I mean, here’s the deal. Buyers here think they know everything, so counter to the advice of agents and lenders, many will just start looking for homes (touring open houses) before all their financing and paperwork pieces are ready. Next thing you know, they’ll see the house, then scramble to compile an offer package in a couple days. Forty clicks later on Docusign, they don’t even know what the hell they’ve signed, agreed to, and submitted.

I hate that bullshit bc obviously, this is a massive legal transaction and I find it careless for people to just gloss over the details. Some buyers will even try to push the onus onto me: “I’m trusting that you think all of this is ok.”

I’m like, look, I’m happy to give you guidance but ultimately, the buyer is responsible for signing off on all of this. That’s right, I’m putting the responsibility squarely where it is. Needless to say, from the time of my initial meeting and call, I’ve been hard at work, getting my clients ramped up on what they need to know. It may not be as fun and as exciting as touring beautiful homes (we do that too!), but it’s the real nuts and bolts of getting positioned to win. So from the start, I’m talking to them about a gabillion things like why financing is important, what’s going on in the market, how to read disclosures, how to consider contingencies, understanding the consequence of non-contingent offers, the mechanics of the offer package, the psychology of sellers and other buyers…. it’s a shit ton of information. Each Zoom easily exceeds an hour and then there are all the questions afterwards!!!

As for the homes, it doesn’t even matter how unqualified they are to buy it or how unserious they are, I still do the extra leg work to provide insider scoop, i.e. meaning calls to the list agents, running preliminary comps, scanning the disclosures. Again, a shit ton of work all done up front as a way to get my buyers up to speed AND to convey my value.

So with these buyers, day and night, I’m fielding texts and links and this and that. Frankly, their budget is realistically in townhome territory, but they insist they need the single family home. I’m like ok, but you’ll have to sacrifice condition, size, or location. Then last week, they send me two homes. One was taking offers the very next day. Given the sqft and location (and schools), I immediately knew that place was out of their budget. Even so, I reached out to the list agent to get the traffic stats and insights. HUNDREDS of visitors, phone ringing off the hook, a bunch of disclosures, etc. I share the info with my buyers and what happens? The hubby doesn’t even believe the info. He suggests the list agent is bluffing. Then he reasons: the home has been on the market for 15 days and hasn’t sold. I want to offer $50k below list.

WTH? First off, it got into contract after just 2 days on market with multiple pre-emptive offers and it fell out of contract just yesterday. The days on market counter didn’t reset even though it was under contract. Details like that matter. Then he insists that the condition needs a ton of work. Yeah dude, you weren’t even among the hundreds of visitors to tour the place. Everyone knows the condition: it’s clear from the pics and the reports. Anyway, back and forth, he wants me to write this lowball offer and doesn’t understand why we can’t “just try”. And that’s when I’d had enough of his bullshit. It’s Sunday night, I got all the info for you, and ran the comps, and you’re not even using this data to position to win. I’m not writing, bc I’m not in the business of writing losing offers. Yup, let that sit for second. That’s how I said it too. He was stunned.

Seriously, bro. Go “try” and waste someone else’s time. You think you know better? Then go use someone else. Yup, my second time in five years where I set a boundary and refused to give in to their nonsense. It just became so clear to me that they don’t trust me. Here I was being my usual gullible self, all optimistic and hopeful that these people would want to learn, that they’d be open to information and advice with the ultimate goal of winning. Nope. They just want to use you and abuse you. There’s no fucking respect. They just think I’m someone to open the damn door and then they want to try for that needle in the haystack deal that doesn’t fucking exist. And frankly, if it DID exist, you’re def not the buyer who’s positioned to win that one either! Like, are you paying all cash? Nope? Then, next.

Yeah, they don’t give a damn that it’s a Sunday night and I’ve got plans and what, I should just drop everything to get it done? Sure, I could cobble the essentials- just the purchase contract and be half-assed about all the other elements in the package but nope. I’m known for being tidy and thorough with my paperwork. I’m not going to be half assed and incomplete.

Two days later, the home was in contract. List agent said it went well over 1.65m. I suspect over $1.7m even. And they had wanted to submit at 1.45m. I’m telling you. Not. even. fucking. close. The second home they were interested in was listed at $1.5m and got into contract for $1.8m. When I passed along the info, not even the slightest acknowledgement for how WRONG they were. Whatevs. As Bubbey says, some people are just losers: they will just continue submitting losing offers, bc they won’t adapt enough to win. As incredulous as that seems to me, I suppose Bubbey is right.

Like I said before: I know this is a crazy market. I know these prices are insane and outrageous. It’s not for everyone, so please conduct your own honest self-assessment, weighing your ability, your finances, your tolerance for risk, your adaptability, etc. Once you’ve committed to the goal of buying/selling in this market though, my job is to help you win. Don’t sabotage your own path to success.

The COVID Effect

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I’ve been thinking lately about how much COVID has changed things. On one hand, I really appreciated the shift to more efficient meetings. The elimination of travel time and commute allowed me to participate in so many more events, esp Realtor weekly updates. I really felt like I was taking advantage of so many more knowledge bases and resources.

Even when I have client zooms, it’s so helpful to be able to view the same properties together online and for me to share data and stats and graphs. Of course, when I used to have in-person meetings, I would book an office space and project that info on the screen but so many times, people would flake last minute and I’d be there all dressed up and set up twiddling my thumbs. Now if people flake (They still do, welcome to the modern era!) at least I can easily pivot back to what I was working on. I also like that I’m able to see people’s faces online. Sure, there are a bunch of studies about zoom fatigue and the detrimental effects of close up focus but eh. Ultimately, I embrace this technology and this form of communication.

John has commented a few times though that COVID has made me less social for my friendships. Maybe that’s true. I find that work has really picked up, so I’m easily having calls/zooms with several people per day and that eats into my overall battery for social interactions.

Which kinda brings me to a realization. All my past personality tests revealed me to be an extrovert by nature (although I’m borderline). But now I find I need my down time. It’s no longer energizing for me to connect with so many people. I like having my decompression time.

I think I’ve been lucky though: I’m in the business of still having to talk to and see people. So even in the most isolating of pandemic times, I’ve still been forced to get out and interact. There are certainly challenges with the face masks and limited body cues, but I’m continuing to learn. I think one important skill I still really need to hone is evaluating people. Seriously. Who’s’ ready, serious, decisive, smart, AND coachable. Too many times I’ve been burned trying to take on a challenge. Trying to identify my learning moment. Fucking showing 4-5 dozen homes only to realize in the end that the buyers STILL won’t adjust their budget/criteria to the current market. That’s my mistake.

In those times, I was a stupid, overly optimistic person. I wanted to believe that the default was: people will see the data and learn. Nope. This damn valley is full of self-confident, know-it-alls. If there’s a deal (a needle in the haystack) to be found, they are CONVINCED they are the ones to find it and win it. And so what you actually end up with is people who gather data ad nauseam and don’t know what the hell to do with it. A year later, prices are up 30% and they still haven’t won a house. Seriously. It’s time to shit or get off the pot, people.

The other day, I was explaining to a couple how competitive this market is. 10-20 offers and on AVERAGE 10% above list price. I advise that they get their loan docs fully underwritten to improve their positioning. What’s the response? A full run down about how they are dual income techies with solid salaries and no debt. Yeah, I know. AND join the club. You’re wanting a $1.6m home for a $1.2m price point. You are steadily employed with perfect credit, yada, yada. At the end of the day though, you want a home at a price point that doesn’t exist. And truthfully, the valley is chock full of people with loads of dough. I’m telling you. I had someone provide their bank statement with $21m in it. Those people are competing with you on that home that’ll go for $1.6m. And you’re telling me you will only pay $1.25m BUT you’ll remove contingencies. SMH. That’s what I’m saying. Are you coachable???

Here’s the thing: I know this market is cray. I know these figures are insane. I know! But my job is to get you ramped up to win. I ain’t about writing a gabillion LOSING offers. That’s a waste of your time and my time. Again, this market isn’t for everyone. Please have a better understanding of yourself (perhaps COVID has warped some brains), and let’s work on getting this shit done.

But I digress. The nature of my job can be pretty fucking exhausting. No doubt our population is highly educated and strongly skewed towards data heads. The irony is that that kind of profile doesn’t necessarily make my job easier. But like I said, I can be an optimistic and sometimes gullible/naive person. I’ll still plug away longer than a regular agent to try and make magic happen with you. Shrug. I can be masochistic that way.