Category Archives: Getting Shit Done

Banner Year for Work

It’s been another long stretch… As much as I love and miss blogging, it’s been a challenge sitting down to get my thoughts down. The biggest hurdle these days? I’m rusty with my writing. When I used to blog regularly, I would go through my days, jotting down notes and ideas for later blog posts. It’s as if my brain at that time was super nimble: it gathered experiences and held on to details with the intention of revisiting them for a story or processing them very quickly soon after. What can I say, I’m totally out of the flow these days. And well, I’m now a “woman of a certain age,” as my friend P likes to say.

The good news is, I’m having a banner year at work. And don’t get your hopes up or anything. I am still very much the same person. No monster revelations or breakthroughs, i.e. nothing has changed all this time while the blog has been silent regarding my value system: I remain and forever am a workaholic. You probably are NOT surprised. I probably would have wanted some improvements/changes given the years of therapy, all the self-help reading I do, plus just ageing over time. But nope. I continue to define my value and my worth through achievement/work. Work is my purpose and my identity. And now that business is FINALLY strong, I can’t deny the feeling of pride and sense of accomplishment. Indeed, the success fuels my tank like nothing else. It really sparks an old flame inside me. In my glory days, I was the best, and goddamn, I missed that feeling… as far back and as deeply buried as it was.

Tbh, there were two eras that I considered “glory days.” First was high school when I juggled a gazillion extracurricular activities and I was “on track” for achievement and success in life. My second “glory days” era was probably when I worked at the government environmental agency. After a series of shit jobs, this place was paradise. Great compensation, low stress, camaraderie, strong mission, short commute… I was in my heydey “work hard, play hard” mode. I was fit, athletic, relatively stylish, my skin was under control, J and I bought a house, we had our pups, we traveled. Of course, things later changed, and then I was disgruntled, our marriage was on the rocks… Goddamn the shift happened fast.

Anyway, back to present day. Yes, this is a record year for me. That said, we are in Silicon Valley, and I remain a very small potato. Like half of a fingerling. Just a nub of a small potato. Seriously. But if I compare me with only myself (apparently, that’s what I’m supposed to do), I am still pleased. I’ve worked really hard in real estate these past nine years, and it’s nice to feel the confidence that comes with competency, skills development, and quite simply, seasoned time in the saddle.

The other positive shift about this year has been my clientele. All of my deals this year have been either past clients or new biz referred by past clients/good friends. It has definitely been a game changer over my usual client mix, which used to include a lot of randos– people who responded to an online ad or came through an open house. While I’ve handled those deals fine, the level of trust upfront totally creates a different relationship and dynamic. It’s no longer people trusting their friends/colleagues/internet advice over that of me, their agent. When I’m introduced by referral, there is an immediate acknowledgement that I am an expert and that I have experience/guidance that matters.

This dynamic has been instrumental in reducing stress/frustration. Don’t get me wrong: there are still very challenging and stressful days, but the intensity is a step or two lower, thank goodness. And somehow this year, the clients are also more my type and my speed. Like they are my tribe in terms of how they process information, how they communicate, and how they get shit done. OMG, it’s an amazing feeling when there’s a synchronization. I cannot appreciate it enough!

Outside of my work obsession, next is of course Benny. Well, it’s been a lot of ups and downs with Benny. But right now, he is on the upswing and looking good. I still brush him daily (and vacuum daily). I joke to everyone that I spend all my money on Benny and my skin. Yup, he’s our boat and I’m just thrilled to have landed on a relatively simple program now that works for him.

As for my face, I completed a course of Accutane in August 2024 and despite lingering side effects with my vision/dry eyes, it was worth it and I am grateful to finally have clear skin again (Only a few short stints of clear skin in the past THREE DECADES of battling bullshit cystic acne!). For now, all is good. I’m in the process of tweaking my skincare routine with topicals/at home products to target crows feet and crepey eyelids, but I consider the skin stuff a “hobby” that falls under my “internet research” umbrella. Dog care, skin care, house hacks. Shrug.

In other news, Bubbey is continuing with his “semi-retirement” status. His cooking has ratcheted up to a super high caliber. I mean, the breadth of cuisines plus how fast he can whip shit together. It is nothing short of amazing. Many of my friends do not have spouses as skilled in the kitchen, so I try not to brag. But shit, his meals taste way better than eating out.

Skills mastery, I tell you! He like goes to the library and comes back with a stack of books and new recipes to try for the week. My home life feels incredibly indulgent in that sense.

And it’s been a real blessing being able to go for walks together, eat lunch, spend time. Bubs is also continuing with his leather work and laser etcher and 3D printing. Sometimes he creates key chains, placards, bags that I can use for work. I feel like we’re in a good phase where he’s got several hobbies and we’re overall both in a good headspace– able to focus on our individual things but also have the overlap in schedules to do activities together. Yes, everything in the outside world continues to be in turmoil, but I feel very lucky to have a safe and comfortable home with my Bubs and Benny.

Work Update

This year, work started off slowly. But unlike in years past, many of our clients this year actually came through referral or sphere of influence, which is a whole different ball of wax. First deal of the year was our handyman’s daughter and husband. From the get go, they trusted us (we didn’t have to compete again other agents), and wowee, these clients read my emails, listened to my suggestions, AND followed detailed instructions on getting prepped for the market. And, I have to say, the couple was on the same fricking page with each other. You have no idea what a rarity/luxury that is.

TBH, I was really starting to wonder: how are so many people married to one another AND raising kids together? Bc so many of my past couples could NOT agree on even basic choices like new build vs. old construction, small yard or big yard. I know, I know: there are all sorts of personalities out there and all sorts of relationships. Somehow people are making it work, so I should be less judgy. And maybe it’s just a reminder to myself that I’m very picky about the hard things/challenges I take on. I’ve already mentioned how I have an aversion to inconvenience. It’s not to say, I won’t do difficult things. I just limit exerting extra energy to very few things: work, marriage, and then to a more selective extent: family and friendships. I’m sure it helps too that above all else, I am a doer, so I cannot be in limbo/inaction for any lengthy period of time. Gray areas? Nope. Friendship drama, nope. Tedium of travel, nope. I suppose this does narrow my world rather quickly. Then again, the way I see it, I have to do uncomfortable things all the time for work. Don’t give me added homework on top of that.

So back to my work update. My second client of the year was another referral– a lovely couple, actually even MORE on the same page than the first family! In contract 12 days after we met. It was awesome. And even when there were hiccups in the road, whereas most of my other clients would have grown stressed or anxious or emotional, nada. This couple took EVERYTHING in stride and their case even involved a special circumstance where several 20-30 yr veterans in the biz said it was a new problem they’d never encountered before! Behind the scenes, I lost sleep over it (surprise, surprise), but neither buyer even batted an eye. I was so lucky.

After those two, a few other transactions closed, including one that was THREE years in the making. Yes, it took THREE years bc like I said, the couple was on different pages for EVERYTHING. And we scoured eight different areas in three different counties. In the end, they are happy so all’s good. But I’m glad we got it done. In fact, they just moved into the new house this past weekend. Since then, I had a few other buyers and sellers… closed and done. Whew.

And then, there was that ONE headache of a listing: it had started off incredibly speedy and smooth. We had sold their neighbor’s home for a record high a few months earlier, so the couple reached out. In one week, they signed with us, moved out, AND handed over the keys. Literally, DAY 1 of construction prep (just minor updates), the contractor stepped on plumbing in the attic and triggered the fucking fire sprinklers all over the house. Yup, in a matter of minutes, three levels of a home in great shape, got deluged, er “trashed” as J liked to remind me. Needless to say, from that point on, we were trying to rebuild trust and recover. The two-week delay in the construction schedule landed us at the start of Trump’s tariffs war. Stock market tanked. Market response was quiet, dead even. A month later, the sellers moved back in and took the home off the market. Yup, months of work wasted. Ultimately, they still want to sell, but we’ll see if they decide to come back to market with us. Sigh, that was a huge dud.

So now I’m in summer. I’ve got a couple of buyers who are ready. One is a very picky cash buyer. After four months, I found them a house that ticked nearly all their boxes, but they suddenly got cold feet. I mean, Trump and his world chaos is def fucking things up. Still, these are the times when you can’t be half-hearted. Either shit or get off the pot. They already have regrets for missing out on a home in my neighborhood where they previously insisted the space was too small, only later to decide it actually wasn’t…. Sigh. It’s gonna be a process.

The other buyer family I met through an open house. They are the FIRST buyers to ever respond to my open house follow up email by clicking on a link to schedule an appointment/consultation. Turns out, they are Taiwanese (her family lives ten minutes from my parents in Kaohsiung) and spent some time in Rockville/Bethesda, of course our ol’ childhood stomping grounds. They seem pretty straightforward so far, and yesterday, we saw something they liked. I’m hopeful.

In less exciting news, I finally killed my CRM/Database platform. I had been paying out of pocket for the platform for two plus years, as features slowly dwindled. Finally, I bit the bullet and moved everything to the in-house Compass platform which is free. Meh, it’s a constant fight again chaos trying to keep the database organized. Let’s just hope I don’t switch brokerages anytime soon.

As Good As New

I have to say, once I got my damaged vehicle into the hands of my local dealer/shop, it was pretty smooth sailing. My service department advisor W is my dude– he is the epitome of customer service. I’ve been going to him for years, so thankfully, he hooked me up with the exact collision estimator who in turn, sent my car to the right repair crew. Damn, no where else is “who you work with matters” better exemplified. The estimator took over to work out the claims/payments directly with my insurance. Then, the repair guy gave me an update at least 2x/week. I never had to ride ass, check in, do anything. It was like clockwork. And in this day and age? What a fucking rarity. Seriously.

After about three weeks, I got my whip back, and holy crap, it is as good as new. I mean, this was $20k worth of work, and I could not see a single imperfection. I tell you, good people who conduct their work with pride… it gets me every damn time. So yes, I wrote glowing reviews on multiple platforms, bc that is the LEAST you can do as someone who receives stellar service.

So thankfully, I was able to return the rental car and I am back to full efficiency, with my trunk stocked just right with my real estate signs, tools, junk. And all my addresses loaded up in the GPS/navigation system. I know, doesn’t sound like a big deal, but hello, newsflash: I’m old. I’m set in my ways. I don’t deal well with change.

In the end, the take home is: thank goodness, there were no injuries, and I’m super grateful that both drivers had insurance. Onward.

Crashed and Stunned

Last week, I was meeting up with my biz partner H to catch up over lunch and to tour a local property under renovation. After a fruitful afternoon, I started heading home from downtown Los Altos. At a stop sign, I turned right onto a straightaway, going east. A Honda CR-V was traveling in the opposite direction on the straightaway, going west. As I approached the next intersection (with no lights/stop signs), the other driver suddenly pulled into my lane to make an abrupt left turn. I had no notice, slammed on the brakes, and crashed into her passenger front end.

Her air bag deployed, and she covered her face with her hands. As we were now blocking the small intersection, I back up and pulled to the side/curb to clear the blockage. She continued to sit in her car. I got out of my car, and as I walked towards her intending to exchange information, she looked up, drove forward slowly (I was thinking she was going to park on the curb in front of my car), and then she drove off!?!?

I was utterly stunned, as I didn’t expect a 50+ y/o white lady in Los Altos (chi chi town) to do a hit and run. Somehow, I had the wherewithal to capture a pic of her plates as she drove past, with me standing there in the middle of the intersection. I was in shock, and with my hands trembling lightly, I called 911. The cop arrived within five minutes. I explained the situation, and he told me he would reach out to her. Though my car was mangled, I was able to drive the few miles home. My damage consisted of a dented hood, mangled right light assembly, wrecked bumper, and as I discovered a day later, a cracked windshield.

Later that day, the cop called and said the lady called into the station. She corroborated my story and admitted fault, but she explained that she drove off bc she “didn’t see me.” I was so annoyed by her blatant lie. Needless the say, the cop acknowledged the explanation didn’t make sense, he would update his report (still mentioning that she left the scene), and go from there.

Now, five days later, I’ve opened the claim under my account, bc the insurance company is still waiting on the police report to obtain the other driver’s name and policy info. After numerous circuitous calls to my insurance office, the claims department, and auto shops, yesterday I drove the car to my local dealer to my trusted service advisor and his collision estimator. As I pulled into the bay, both men expressed shock that I drove the vehicle, which is funny bc the day of the accident, as soon as Bubs got home, he started going off about all the damage, and so many pieces involved, etc. I was like, OMG you are overreacting. The car still drives. Well, the service dudes had the same reaction as Bubs. It’s a lot of damage. You shouldn’t be driving the car. Off hand, the estimator says it’ll be at least $10k, they won’t know really until they start peeling away the damage to expose what’s underneath. So how long will it be in the shop? I’m guessing a week… A looong time, he says. 3-4 weeks. Whaaaa???

So the good news is that I’m uninjured. My airbag didn’t deploy. The day after, I had some neck/back soreness, but I feel fine now. The bad news is we are waiting on that police report, and I’ll have to figure out a rental car and ride ass on the insurance company to get all the paperwork done right. I am not at fault, so there shouldn’t be any impact to my insurance premium or my driving record.

But dayum, that freaking other driver! Who behaves like this??? I was asking myself: is it possible that someone can go through adult life and NOT know s/he is supposed to stay on scene after an accident? It made me think of that time when I drove a colleague home from a work party. He had a beer at the party, and I told him I could drive, and he could just take the drink with him. He and I are both from the Mid-Atlantic. Later, another friend told me California has open container laws, where you can’t have any open alcohol in the car, regardless of who was driving. Huh??? I was honestly shocked, bc I had never heard of this. So am I like this other woman? Somehow, I had glided through life not possessing what my friend considered to be common sense?!?!

Actually, I just looked this up. IN MY DEFENSE, Virginia, where J and I last lived prior to China and California, actually does NOT have open container laws, so passengers are permitted to have alcohol!

Winds of Change

The good news is that so much has changed since my last frustrated, disenchanted post. Thank fucking goodness Biden stepped down, and now we are in a totally transformed state of energy and momentum and hope. I am sooo STOKED about KH. Right away, the people around me were skeptics and cynics and doubters (despite being supporters). Jesus, who knew I was surrounded by a bunch of Debbie Downers… nonetheless, my enthusiasm could not be smothered, and as it turned out, neither could that of a who deluge of people. I mean, she raised SO MUCH DAMN MONEY in the first 24-hrs alone! It was awesome to bear witness.

And since those early hours as the new guard, she’s raised even more. Meanwhile, Trump has gotten flustered, and his previously “disciplined” strategy has been blown out of the water, triggering him into reverting back to his old ways of spewing more outrageous garbage out of that damn piehole. Don’t get me wrong, he’s never been moderated (at least from what I’ve been reading), but he’s going off script now more than ever and Jesus, it’s insane how much this shock jock continues to ramble on with his bullshit.

I have to say, I was on the fence about the whole NABJ event. From an academic standpoint, I do think there is value in discourse and presenting opposing sides… it’s just that Trump isn’t really a person who’s presenting an opposing side in any kind of interactive way. His language is just continued hate mongering and racist/sexist fake news that only adds flames to the fire. Nothing he says is ever presented in a manner that contributes to a productive discussion. So then, are these platforms just giving him more free airtime? I dunno what the real answer is on this, but I’m definitely torn.

At the NABJ event specifically, I thought the moderators did a good job staying calm and redirecting back to the questions BUT he was clearly verbally abusive and having a tantrum— should they have given him a platform in the first place to direct that negativity towards them?

I do feel reinvigorated, and I am finding myself following the news more closely… in that sense, this change in the ticket has given me something new to study and follow and care about. Meanwhile, I am already ramping up my activism. My friend G turned me on years ago to Vote Foward, which is a nonprofit organization that focuses on getting out the vote. I have already started my letter writing activities… I’m so excited for November 5. I am feeling very hopeful and optimistic, and so far the stats are looking favorable for KH. YEAH!!!

Shit Week, Big Day

I had two closings slated for this week. Both deals were moving along swimmingly… the first one closed Tuesday, after the Memorial Day holiday. All done, everything smooth, all parties THRILLED. And then the seller didn’t get her wire proceeds. On Wednesday, the first wire was sent back to escrow… some issue with the For Credit To. The second one went out, and Thursday morning that bounced back again. My seller was freaking out: she was on the phone with her brokerage, the escrow company… Never happened to me before. The brokerage rep said all the instructions on the second wire looked perfect, and she was perplexed that the Federal Reserve sent it back. The escrow company then escalated to their accounting department. A third iteration was made. Meanwhile, I was feeling so frustrated. People have no idea the amount of work that happens behind the scenes shepherding all the details along. You get to the end, and all is beautiful and then this kind of shit crops up literally ruining the entire deal in one late fumble. All the client will remember now are the two days of stress when she didn’t get her money. All week I’ve been sleepless, frustrated by the pieces where I have no control. I started inquiring all the details for Plan B in case that third wire bounced back again. Could it be a glitch with the Federal Reserve (happened many months ago)? Should we try a different account to deposit the funds? If we went the route of a check, could a courier deliver to any branch and staff there make the deposit? How soon would the funds be available? All Wednesday afternoon and night, I’m making calls and mulling over the details. THANKFULLY, Thursday morning the funds finally arrived. First fire extinguished.

The second deal was supposed to close on Wednesday. Due to two of the three buyers being out of state AND the lender requiring all three to sign on the same document (no counterpart signing allowed), we had a notary sent out last Friday. After the signing, she was supposed to drop off the package to FedEx on Saturday, so it would be back in San Jose first thing on Tuesday morning after the holiday weekend. First, she dropped it off on Tuesday, so we didn’t get it until Wednesday. Second, she did a shit job stamping her notary acknowledgement page, meaning the rubber stamp was half-ass and completely illegible. When the escrow officer realized the stamp was not valid, she reached out to the notary to re-stamp and FedEx another page back (another day lost). The notary didn’t get back to her until the afternoon, and on top of that, the notary was on vacation out of town. Yup, FML. So that meant, all three buyers needed to re-sign with a different notary. Long story short, bc of this half-ass bullshit first notary (I mean, you have TWO jobs: stamp the files and drop off at FedEx), we were looking at a one week delay in closing, with financial consequences. I was so pissed; my buyers were so stressed and upset… again, we got to ONE DAY before closing with a very smooth deal and then shit hit the fan.

For the second deal, we had the buyers and a new notary hustle to re-sign. The second notary shared a scan of the signed file showing the clear stamped acknowledgement. The FedEx arrived this morning, and the lender is slated to fund shortly. Fingers crossed, this will get through the finish line later today. I can’t help but be a bit gun shy due to the random hiccups from this week, but it’s now as far along as we can take it.

In other news, after this very stressful week, I’m very happy about the unanimous Trump verdict. Wow, finally, there is no confusion or disagreement about his role in all this chaos. I’m disappointed that he can still run and he can still serve, but for now, what a day to feel some relief and redemption and faith that NOT all is lost.

Tax Tedium Times Two

Every year around tax time, dad gets all stressed out about “all the things” he has to do. Um, I’m the one collecting and collating all your damn papers for the accountant. I’m the contact person for your estate attorney, accountant, banks, and financial advisor. Sure, I just grab the paperwork, he does still sit down and fill out forms from the CPA… Nonetheless, it’s a bitch and a half. And mind you, I don’t even do my own taxes!!

Needless to say, we hit May and I was feeling home free knowing his tax stuff was done for the season. Nope, not so fast. Apparently, dad recently got wind of some new tax deductions that he can claim on his Taiwan taxes. Yippee! So I got another couple of calls the other day. First, he was insistent that he needed files from the IRS. I’m like, you have all the e-files from the CPA. Just use those. Your 1040s are in there. No, it can’t be something I submit, it has to be official from the IRS. Huh? Who is telling you this? He can’t explain, but just do what he says. Meanwhile, I’m thinking what the fuck is more official than your 1040 with CPA signature– the same doc that lenders use for loans??? He was insistent, so there I go again being sent on another fucking wild goose chase. Normally, whatever, create an IRS account for him and drill down the menus looking for these records that he needs. Well, the IRS recently cracked down on security, so the old account I created for him years ago is no longer valid. Now they require live camera/video verification of identity where you have to take screen shots of your ID, upload, and then verify with a LIVE PERSON. Sounds like a reasonable enough protocol except that my dad doesn’t know how to use the fucking camera on his phone (I still get Facetime videos of his inner ear canal) much less his computer camera. Like he keeps telling me his computer doesn’t have a camera. Dad, I bought you that computer two years ago… it has a goddamn camera!

Anyway, through a miracle of God and a combination of being on his landline, remote tunneling into his computer, and using his iPhone, we were able to jump through all the hoops and get the account created. Then, I find the forms he needs. Grab everything, move it to his computer, print it out for him from my computer tunneling into his computer. You have no idea how tedious these tasks are. Finally, it’s done. And I’m thinking, ok it’s good we have an updated IRS account for him, and now I can pay his taxes for him through that portal.

Two weeks later, another call. I need your help and it’s very important. Of course, all your shit is “very important.” Now instead of the documents back to 2021, he needs all the way back to 2017 AND he needs for Maryland and Federal. What. the. fuck. How much are you saving with this bullshit? Another $5? No, no, it’s more than $5. Yeah, let’s save more money that you’ll never use. I’m like, just contact the CPA and request the files. No, it’s in the two suitcases of tax papers that I stored at your house when I moved back to Taiwan. Oh, the suitcase that you originally wanted me to FLY to Maryland to retrieve from your friend’s basement? I mean, surely the CPA has electronic copies. No, no, you just have to go through the two suitcases and find the 1040 and the Maryland tax return and send them to me. Oh, that’s all???? And hmm, how come last time you told me the 1040 tax returns weren’t what was needed and now all of the sudden, the 1040s suffice? WTF, I’m not a damn idiot just executing on your busy work.

Two plus hours later, I’ve pulled out all the paperwork, disassembled the tax binders that are held together with insanely strong staples which require John and heavy-duty pliers to remove, scanned, and sent the files over. Oh now in addition to the Maryland tax returns, I need proof of all payments made to the Maryland Comptroller. Back to 2017. Yeah, fuck my life!

And btw, the Maryland website is some Frontpage bullshit. The farthest online records go back is 2021. Oh, well can you call and ask about the earlier ones? No. I can’t. Requests for anything beyond requires a special form and NOTARY signature. Thank fucking god, For once, this notary requirement saved my ass. I can do no more on this task. The rabbit hole stops here.

Tunnel Vision

I haven’t called my parents in about two months. The last time we spoke, dad needed me to handle tax items for him (every year). In the process, I got a weird suspicion that he is a victim of elder fraud. Meanwhile, as I was on the phone discovering this, my mother was in the background causing a goddamn fuss. Her condition has continued to deteriorate and honestly, she’s burning out every damn person around her. I know she can’t control her condition, but Jesus Christ, she gets nasty. I was there in November and five days after my COVID quarantine was already too much between the constant outbursts, the nonsensical ramblings, the neuroses, the anger, the biting, the pinching… many people have advised that my father put mom in a memory care home. Through the years, she came close at least twice to getting moved, but she/dad changed their minds last minute.

Anyway, I was trying to access emails/files supposedly sent by his broker in Taiwan. One minute the email was there, the next minute it was gone from the inbox and very quickly, I started to see that it was super sketch. First off, the email came from some random gmail address… something blatantly egregious like partyhome254 or some shit. No scottrade.com or ameritrade.com domain. Then, dad’s yahoo kept flagging it as weird too, hence it was automatically getting moved into the spam folder. Third, the “statement” dad needed for his taxes was just a series of screenshots of graphs. WTF. I told him this was very odd, and that legitimate professionals do not work like this. Instead of him agreeing with me, dad just dug in his heels insisting that he’d known the guy for years, he just talked to him on the phone, and just do it.

When I escalated to express the urgency of this, he basically told me, “Just do what I say, bc I need to finish my taxes.” Meanwhile, remember the multiple times when dad stressed to me how important all his affairs are, and he even suggested once or twice that *I* somehow infected his computer with a virus?!?! I mean, who do you trust? Your daughter who works as a fiduciary in an industry involving multi-million-dollar transactions and who has also managed your complicated financial and legal shit for years, or some rando who can’t even provide a legitimate monthly statement? Holy fucking god.

I was so pissed, and then he just burst into tears talking about how stressed out he is and how miserable his life is. This is where I really see my own personal limitation. If you are miserable and you aren’t doing ANYTHING to improve your situation, do NOT come to me with your sob story, bc I will not empathize.

I get it, for “normal” people, their sobbing father would cause them to back down immediately, apologize, and de-escalate. But for me, I function in the opposite manner. Why? Bc you know what you’re supposed to fucking do! You are in this predicament, bc you are failing to make the necessary changes.

The only thing that was within my capacity was this: I shut up about the scammer, sent dad his goddamn files, and then John submitted his FBAR taxes or whatever the thing is. I then called my aunt and unloaded about how frustrating my family is, and about how terrible their decisions are. All this trouble moving across to the other side of the word so you can save more money that you will never spend anyway. Yes, I get that Taiwan is your “home.” Except that you never leave the goddamn house, so what’s the freaking point, really? And that was the last I talked to him.

No, actually, I did speak with him once after that. A week later, dad called again finalizing his tax stuff and then he did what he always does: “Is there anything else you want to say to me?”

I don’t know why he does that. No. I mean, what more is there to say? You’re miserable and you do nothing, so just continue being miserable. He asks me what he should do. Ugh, for starters, LIKE I SAID, 1) therapy, 2) reach out to the senior center, 3) move mom to a facility, 4) get out of the damn house…

Here’s the thing. I can’t be everything to everybody. As much as I sometimes aspire to be well-rounded with high EQ yadda, yadda, this is just too damn much. If you need someone to just listen and say empty responses like, “That sucks, I’m sorry”, I am NOT that person, and you have to find that service in someone else. I will do so many other things for you, but that’s not one of them.

Hunger Games

A few months ago, J and I got into a popcorn habit. It became this sort of evening snack ritual that we would share while watching something on tv. Most of you know I don’t watch a lot of tv— I’m very picky about committing to content: it can’t be too violent, it can’t be a series (too much emotional investment), and it can’t be slapstick. I told you already, I’m picky. Needless to say, the genre that came up the latter half of last year was dinosaur and monster verse type of movies. They seemed to provide the right level of action, some mild relationship plot, and then enough films to give us some continuity and theme without the emotional attachment. I mean all of this boils down to my problem of overthinking. If I start to consider the characters in a film to be too human, I will take on their problems and try to fix them. Seriously. I will lie awake in bed trying to figure things out for them. I’m telling you, my brain works in strange ways.

After I got COVID around Thanksgiving, somehow a fire got lit under my ass. My sleep has been shit my whole life, my skin was breaking out crazy again (despite being on very strong antibiotics and Retin-A), and I was just feeling very run down and tired. In December, I asked my doctor for a full blood work up. The results showed that I was pre diabetic. At first, I was just going to ignore it: after all, I wasn’t diabetic, just PRE. But then several of my friends were also found to be prediabetic recently, and they apparently freaked out and started taking drastic action. Figuring that they had actually spent some time studying the numbers and understanding the real implications, I decided now was as good a time as any to re-examine my health.

So since late December, I’ve cut back on carbs (mostly rice and breads) and on portions. Plus I’ve started focusing on improving my sleep and increasing my activity. It’s been almost a month now, and I am pleased to report progress!!

I’m not gonna lie: I was definitely feeling VERY hungry the first several weeks. Like a new baseline of chronic hunger. Distracting hunger. I realized I used to eat a shit ton of rice and breads to quickly get my meals over with. Like that was the bulk of my consumption. After reducing those foods, I found myself grasping for other things to eat: tomatoes here and there, cauliflower, avocados, kefir… Desperate to dull the hunger pangs, I even started taking Metamucil before meals. But the gelatinous texture started to get gross after a few days so I discontinued that. Eventually, after maybe two weeks, my body adjusted to the new normal of NOT feeling full. And my clothes actually started to fit better, so the results were encouraging!

Meanwhile, for my sleep, my friend recommended an OTC supplement (NatureMade Back to Sleep), so I started up with that and tacked on three other routines before bed:

1. Roll out knots in my back using an acupressure wheel,
2. Lower my mattress heater temp,
3. Lock away my phone,
4. White noise machine.

And whaddya know? I have been sleeping soundly for the first time in my life… The weird thing is, I had previously tried all of these tactics independently but never all together. Who knew? So now I am catching up on my sleep deficit and damn, it feels good.

J has also shed some pounds going on the prediabetic diet/lifestyle change, and his snoring has diminished significantly. So we are excited for more good things in 2024. This year is our zodiac year, and we’re both dragons. We’re using that as motivation to make some changes for the better.

As for the popcorn ritual, we are taking a bit of a break. But it might come back occasionally, once we find some new content to watch. I’m thinking we’re going to get back into Chinese films featuring actors from our China days (2003-2006).

Head of Household

It’s a new year, and I am checking off a whole shit ton of items on the to do. Actually, many of the things were back burner level of priority but I will say, it feels damn good to come outta the gates swinging and get shit done. It’s got me thinking though about other households throughout the country. There’s a LOT of logistics to handle… Who is taking care of these tedious things?!?!? J and I are just a household of TWO people. How is this being juggled with two jobs, kids, school, etc.?

First item I tackled was medical insurance. Since I’m an independent contractor, we have to get our own health insurance. After my monster medical bill at the start of COVID in 2020 (ERCP + gall bladder removal), I got firsthand experience seeing how much medical expenses can add up. I mean, even if we account for exaggerated pricing due to the continual battle between insurers and providers, I was in the hospital for a day and a half, and the bill was $110k. Yeah, let that sink in. Thank goodness, we were only responsible for $500 bc of insurance.

The point is, J and I are now squarely at that age where medical issues are popping up on the regular (hello frozen shoulder), so we def need coverage. For the last several years, we just got the Obamacare/Realtor group plan that ran about $1000/month (at least when we started a few years ago). I typically didn’t change plans year after year during open enrollment, bc I’m happy with Kaiser and I figured the annual increase would be marginal. Wrong. This year, our monthly premium increased from $1200/month to $1550. WTF? When I found out, the enrollment period had already closed. So I thought we were stuck for the next year paying an extra $250/month.

Of course, I immediately started panicking feeling like we were trapped. And then I did a little bit of digging and learned that various realtor associations offer group plans. So mine is through the state association of realtors but the local association also has packages. Long story short, since I changed from one local association to another, that was considered a “qualifying event” that re-opened the enrollment window. I mean, I won’t belabor it further, but lesson 1: pay attention to any notices about annual increases in insurance premiums and lesson 2: read the fine print.

With the local association, I’m able to downgrade our Kaiser plan and get that premium back down to $1200. Meanwhile, I get to keep my medical record number and continue seeing my current doctors. Yay!

The other low-priority task we did this month was bundle fiber and wireless service. We’d been on Verizon forever and the signal at home was shit. We just put up with it bc we knew switching was a pain. Well, this time we just ripped the band aid off. I met a super helpful store manager, talked to him a few times, and we got everything moved over, saving at least $100/month. The big lesson I learned from there? AARP recently got rid of their min age requirement!! And an existing membership can cover TWO people. So now not only do I get reading material that speaks to me (I AM Benjamin Button after all), but by piggybacking on my dad’s membership, I gain access to a whole other world of discounts (kinda like AAA) PLUS it saved me the $50 AT&T activation fee and granted me another 10% discount on the monthly bill. Yup, stack ’em up, baby. It’s been a while since I scored some good dealios, and I’d forgotten the highs I get from a sweet bargain. I know it sounds tedious, but once you get the hang of it, the savings add up.

Speaking of… I’m still using Rakuten/Ebates. Just a tiny extra step and over time, it accumulates to $1200 in savings just going through their shopping portal. And our upcoming midweek trip to St. Helena? One night is free. Hehe. I know, not the most exciting post for 2024. Just saying, you can save some dough if you pay attention. That’s all for now. More exciting stories to come. Hurrah!