Author Archives: Vicky

April Shit Showers

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Well, what can I say, April turned out to be a shit month. It started off that my deal, which was slated to close four days in, had to get pushed back, bc the sellers had trouble getting their “occupant” out of the property. Yup, he just kept blowing through deadlines, insisting that he had no place to go and no where to store his stuff. On one hand, I really felt for the guy. It reminded me that there really are huge swaths of the population where people are falling through the cracks for various reasons— health issues, addiction, abuse, what have you… On the other hand, the sellers had been letting the guy live in their house rent free for a number of years, and they always told him that one day, they would need to sell to help out their own family. It seems that he had at least some months to hatch a plan…

As all of that was happening, I learned that my childhood friend T was on the verge of eviction and homelessness. It’s a long story and we go way back to the second grade. We had lost touch in the mid-2000s and then last Christmas I saw her again. Her story is one of life’s many tragedies and it also highlights what happens when parents are fucking irresponsible with planning their eldercare. Seriously, if you’re not going to put shit into place in terms of financial planning and instructions, you don’t deserve to be parents! And of course, her brother is like my brother. Not a care in the world. Basically, he said he’ll go back for the funeral but can’t be bothered until then. As all of this weighed in my mind, I encountered a third scenario where someone was scraping by and preparing to live out of his car.

In the end, the occupant did finally leave after we extended the deadline. My hope is that he will take action and use the resources that are available to turn things around. Needless to say, the transaction was difficult to celebrate.

Other parts of work started picking up. The list agent with whom I frequently collaborate began getting all kinds of activity in his pipeline, and he called on me to assist. I was thrilled.

Then, Bentley fell very, very ill. He was lethargic, stopped getting up, stopped eating, was panting and drooling crazy. In one week, we made four trips to the emergency room, ran a shit ton of tests (blood work, ultrasound, xrays, joint taps), and things continued to get so bad that he yelped in pain when touched and he couldn’t open his mouth all the way. WTF was happening? I mean, he went from walking slowly/gingerly at home on Saturday night to getting hospitalized by Wednesday. They couldn’t figure out what was wrong. All the while, he was declining, had crazy fevers, had to get IV fluids, anti-inflammatories, antibiotics, pain killers… he got put on a feeding tube and had an oxygen mask. I was losing my shit and then I had a seminar partnering with a financial advisor, and my parents were coming to town. It was the most stressful time of my life.

The day I gave my presentation/seminar, Bentley got hospitalized. For what we thought would just be overnight on fluids, turned into five days. Then two days after getting discharged and looking better, we were back in the ER– this time at the specialist bc our general vet told us they had gotten to the end of what they could do. Then, two more nights hospitalized with the specialist and all the while, “regular” appointments are booked weeks in advance so every trip is an emergency where the doctors are trauma/ER docs NOT internal medicine docs. Meanwhile, bc his situation spanned so many days, the doctors kept changing/swapping out every few days due to their work schedule.

By the time we got to the specialists, the general vet had already suspected IMPA (Immune-mediated polyarthritis). At the specialist, we did an MRI, spinal tap, and additional joint taps. Those results ruled out meningitis and confirmed IMPA but also, the imaging showed major inflammation in his head, face, and neck– the diagnosis with that was a SECOND auto-immune disease called immune-mediated polymyositis. Essentially, Bentley had two diseases where his body was attacking itself– in all the joints as well as in the muscles, which explains the level of pain he was in.

On one hand, what a relief to have some answers. The treatment in both instances is steroids + immunosuppressives. Of course, both those meds have crazy side-effects, but for now, we had to get this whole-body inflammation under control. Even after he was discharged from the specialists on a Friday AM, he had what seemed to be cyclical fevers and then face pain recurring over the weekend. Again, back to the ER on Sunday night for a fentanyl patch to tide us over until my internal medicine specialist returned to the office on Tuesday.

On Monday morning, I started calling the general vet AND the specialty center in despair, crying to have SOMEone advise on how to reduce his pain if it escalates again. My general called me back and said the concurrent auto-immune diseases is rare and very serious. She can only defer to the specialist at this point bc it’s such an unusual case. Then, after sobbing to a vet tech at the specialty group, a different internal med doctor on staff that day called to tell me she saw Bentley the week prior when he was hospitalized. She’s only seen a few cases with the double whammy, but for sure, the first week on treatment is very up and down bc the body is just so overwhelmed. I was a total mess with her on the phone. He’s just not getting better. But she said to give it more time. We are less than a week from starting the treatment. We’re “not there yet,” she said. When we get there, we will tell you.

On Tuesday, his doc called all annoyed that my general vet had emailed her and there were numerous voicemails while she was out. I mean, what do you expect. You discharge him Friday AM, you call Saturday and he looks good, and then shit goes down Sunday and he is crying in pain again. I’m going to call every goddamn lead I have to get some freaking medical attention. Needless to say, we saw her two days later on Thursday for follow up. That place is oftentimes a clusterfuck. The tech says they’ll take vitals and blood. I say I want to talk to the doctor first before the bloodwork. Tech says doctor wants to test blood. Fine. They take the blood. Then, we see her in the exam room and she says she might not need to take blood…. WTF? His WBC count is still high– higher than 10 days prior at the general vet. But symptom-wise he is better. She palpates and feels around. Joints seem ok. Still sensitivity with the neck and mouth. We decide to continue the current treatment plan and talk about options if he stagnates or if the situation worsens…

Mind Fuck

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In this business, it’s a lot about the pipeline. The goal is to come into contact with as many people as possible in the hopes that ultimately, I will connect and do business with some subset of those I’ve met. The process of “getting out there,” as they term it, is both challenging, exciting, and exhausting. In November, I completed my second full year as a licensed agent. To date, I had tried all kinds of strategies for growing my book of contacts: door knocking, cold calling, mailings, homebuying classes, flyering, open houses, emails, referrals… Some stuck better than others. I found that open houses really helped me build relationships with listing agents and loan officers. As I hosted over 65 different properties, I started to get faster at reviewing disclosures and evaluating comps. I also grew my confidence of talking with strangers and discussing the market. I have learned so much in my second year. I’m much more familiar with the software, the digital forms, and my new brokerage (which I joined in July) is so damn organized. The office has systems and processes, and people really know what they’re doing.

It’s interesting bc I didn’t think I would like real estate as much as I do, but somehow, I find myself really enjoying what I’m learning and I am seeing now how starting my third year, there is something that compels me to get up every morning. I feel motivated to build my knowledge, skills, and mastery.

In February, I attended an intensive 3-day training in Southern California. What I realized is that my top motivation really is about finding a role that is compatible with my personality and skill set and then growing in that role to become the best that I can be. In some bizarre way, real estate brings out a feeling that I probably haven’t felt in many, many years: competition and striving for excellence. As a kid, I was super competitive. I excelled in various academic arenas– in school and in Chinese school. I did speech competitions, participated in activities and teams– math, science, Latin, mock trial. And then college crushed me. And after my dreams of being a physician were dashed, it seemed like my life was just going to be about settling for mediocrity. I went through a series of careers and jobs… I did well in them, but the long term wasn’t very clear. With real estate, I feel like there is a trajectory. I feel like there is a path to growing something in the future.

But there is still the daily grind. And I get frustrated. I was at a staff meeting yesterday, and an agent who has been in the business about 5 years described just how much this job messes with your mindset. Every day, she’s wondering if she’s good enough, if she should quit. Her emotional stance jumps day to day, week to week, feeling like she’s on top of the world and then plummeting to feeling just. not. good enough. It is seriously a crisis of confidence very fucking week, and that emotional instability really takes a toll. I could relate so much to what she shared. It’s a constant struggle and with the routine rejection, you really have to work at keeping your sanity. This job takes a lot of fucking resilience. Thankfully, I always get back up. It might take me a few days to recover, but I won’t be beaten down.

Goodbye Cash Cow

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At the start of this year, I had set a goal to grow my dog sitting/boarding side gig. You see, from the time I started taking doggie clients, my business had doubled from year 1 to year 2. And I was thinking an extra several grand would come in handy for some expenses associated with my full time job. As it turns out, I started ramping up activities with my real estate business which meant I was not home to dog sit, esp new clients that had to be introduced and monitored with Bentley. Bubbey started getting annoyed having to coordinate schedules, and so I decided to just stick to existing clients. So things were going well with my cash cow doggie– a client from the very beginning who came regularly for both daycare and boarding– until a few months ago, she had diarrhea all over John’s office. We figured she was just randomly sick (no explanation as to why), so we told the owner and she paid for the steam cleaning. Well, a few weeks ago, the accident happened again. And since I wasn’t home to clean up the bodily fluids, John– who is queasy about that stuff– lost his shit.

I was in the middle of handling a bunch of things for work and that was the last straw. That’s right, I had to shut down the doggie biz. Bubs wasn’t about to babysit the critters while I was out, and he def wasn’t going to handle accidents inside the house. And just like that, I had to say goodbye to my cash cow.

I suppose the silver lining in all this is that now I can focus even more energy and attention on my real estate biz. Haha, I know, you didn’t think it was possible! I suppose in the grand scheme of things, picking up another buyer/seller will definitely yield higher results than picking up another doggie client. Sigh. Changes had to be made.

Not an Order Taker

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Life is a funny journey. I think about all the people I have met, those with whom I have connected, formed bonds, stayed in touch… Some of them, I hold connections that, despite the distance and silence, the spark reignites quickly and easily. Others, the initial overlap and commonality felt so damn certain, so unquestionable, and yet life choices and paths happened later that seemed to deteriorate the bond almost overnight.

From the time I was in my early 20s, I knew with great certainty that I wouldn’t be having children. While I had helped my grandmother babysit a family friend’s infant during my middle school years and I fairly enjoyed the cuddly blob stage, by the time I had reached college, I felt pretty strongly about being kid free.

I’m sure the struggles of growing up with my immigrant parents– with their strict demands and constant comparisons and cultural clashes– created a home life that, while safe and secure, felt deeply rife with emotional chaos and daily drama. In my young adult life, the responsibilities to serve as a secondary parent to my brother– being at the same university and all– made me especially hate the constant nagging, harping, and mercenary feel of serving as my parents’ proxy.

The thing is, I am a responsible and trustworthy person. After all, 13/15 tests say I am ESTJ = Trustee. So I get why my parents rely on me for important matters. But the thing is, I’m also a very independent and self-directed person, so while I am dependable, I don’t like to take direction from others, especially if their approach or methodology differs from my own. In other words, I’m not a fucking secretary. I am ok with you telling me, “Here is Point A. Here is Point B.” That’s all. And herein lies the problem. I get called on to do things in manners/ways that I wouldn’t normally choose. If what you want is an order taker, I’m not the person!

So as we start encountering aging, illness, and death around us, I struggle with being selected as the dutiful one. Like the scenario with my parents and my brother. Surely, I will be tasked with being in a very uncomfortable role of honoring my parents’ wishes. Will that clash with my own prudence? Maybe our thoughts/attitudes with be in sync? Um, well that has nearly never happened in my adult life. I doubt things will be that simple.

I suppose my point is, some days, I feel tremendous burden with being a responsible and trustworthy person. Is it comparable to what I consider the burden to being a parent? That’s partly why I chose not to be one.

Or maybe I’m looking at things all wrong. But take my brother, for example. He does whatever the hell he wants. He is responsible for no one but himself. His choices are made based on himself alone. Sure, maybe he lives a lonely existence without a spouse or partner. But shit, he doesn’t have to research, plan, compromise, discuss, weigh, negotiate, persuade… he doesn’t have to do any of that. He’s just. Free. Am I oversimplifying? And I don’t mean to say that Bubbey is a burden. Bubbey is probably one of my easier relationships at this point in my life. But still, he is a person I still consider when making important decisions…

Maybe responsibility is like that of having a dog. There is responsibility but the relationship is worth it. The unconditional love is worth the obligations and the pain. Does that translate to people? Like when the shit really hits the fan, who’s part of the triage team? I mean, the bottom line is that sickness, aging, and death are scary aspects of life. If you can’t rely on your loved ones to help you during those times, what’s the point?

So how did this blog post come to my mind? I was thinking about my friends with kids. What do you do if you don’t like kids? I mean, I like my friends, but I didn’t sign up for their kids. Every now and then, sure, let’s see them. I don’t despise the kids. But it’s the same dilemma I encountered years ago with a friend married to a guy who irked my nerves. I signed up for the friend, not the two-for-one. Sometimes, I try to reverse the scenario. What if a good friend wanted to hang out and she asked that John stay home. Yeah, it would probably bug me. But at the same time, I feel like one outing without him is not gonna kill me. I like that we have a bit of independence too. I dunno. I suppose we all have limited time and in the end, it’s about how we choose to spend our time. Ultimately, it’s about priorities. For some relationships, they simply don’t weather extended distance and silence. When I feel frustrated by the distraction a child creates when I’m trying to connect with my friend, I’m told to get used to it. Or to prepare to not see the friend for the next 7-10 years, bc hello, welcome to parenting. Well I suppose we all make our choices.

Catching a Break

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In March, after many months of business drought, I finally caught a break. The list agent with whom I had my very first deal over 2.5 years ago, started getting a lot of business. Mind you, he’s run his own brokerage for years with only enough business for himself. But as he started picking up more listings this year, he needed to call on someone to help him host more open houses and communicate with the many Chinese-speaking visitors.

So I started covering a lot of his listings… not in the best areas and not in my usual price points, but I did it anyway. And every lead I captured, that person went into my database and I methodically kept them on my drip marketing campaign.

In February, the list agent got a new listing for a very distressed home. He invited me to attend the listing presentation and meet the sellers. The meeting at a local diner lasted FOREVER. Barely any conversation about business– just chitty chat. I was dying after more than two hours. But as he built his rapport with them, I was there kind of at the periphery but still there. And a few days later, as he advised them of their options, I was given the challenge to find a buyer for the off-market property.

I pinged my database via email and text and phone. After a few rounds, finally, someone responded. And after a few visits to the home, the general contractor made the decision to buy! Of course, there were already multiple interested parties, but in the end, the fact that I had met the sellers in that initial meeting helped me score an in-person meeting to present my client’s offer. And soon after, my client was in contract! And not only was this client super knowledgeable, having been a GC and local investor for 20+ years, he was so straightforward and pleasant to work with.

As it turned out, this deal got complicated towards the end as the close of escrow date approached. The “occupant” was very resistant about vacating the property and in California, there are all sorts of potential landlord-tenant legal issues… Thankfully, in the end, the deal closed and I learned so much. The hardest part was seeing the downside of real estate: it was not easy getting someone who had no job, car, and no other place to go, out of the property. It didn’t feel good even if it was what the sellers wanted and what needed to be done to protect my client. At the end of everything, I got my client an amazing deal, and the sellers were thrilled to get the money fast to help their family. But someone also lost the place he was living… I hope that the tenant will seek assistance from social services and job placement agencies to get him back on his feet.

Interestingly, this off-market deal led to my very first listing. You see, the day that I presented my offer (for the first time ever in person) to the seller and the listing agent, it just so happened that a mother and daughter were sitting at the table next to us. We were at that diner again. They overheard our conversation and proceeded to interrupt my offer presentation to tell us 1) they also had a home to sell 2) they wanted to meet with us, bc they liked what they had heard.

Yup, bam, just like that. I got one offer accepted and a listing appointment booked on the same day. It was super sweet and certainly made for a great story!

Nature of the Biz

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I’m rounding out the first quarter of my third year in the real estate biz, and the ride has certainly been an eventful one. More than any other career I have undertaken (and I’ve done multiple), this one has been a serious rollercoaster.

You see, in the other roles, sure I often had that initial crisis of confidence. Honestly, I think it’s a woman thing. We tend to expect a higher level of knowledge, competency, and preparedness before we’ll feel confident about our expertise. So whenever I started something new, there was that initiation phase of building familiarity, skills, relationships and understanding the people and processes. After about a year in, I started getting the hang of it and it was smoother sailing from there. With real estate, it’s really a constantly-evolving process and the additional responsibility of building my own business entails added challenges.

As I tell many people, from a very young age, my mother always said I was bossy. After I became an adult, graduated from school, and entered the work force, I think she and my father were always rather incredulous that I could work for anyone. I mean, what can I say, growing up, they saw a lot of independence, resistance, and defiance. You know, immigrant parents, yada, yada. I didn’t like being told what to do, especially from my parents. In that sense, the autonomy of my current business is a great fit, bc I like weighing options and selecting the path forward. I like making the decisions.

That said, I’m not gonna lie: The lead generation part of building a business has been a struggle. I’ve grown a ton and definitely conditioned myself to enduring many more uncomfortable situations… but the task of persuading or convincing people to work with me has been difficult. First, I don’t think I come across immediately as a particularly extroverted or immediately likable individual. I’m kinda one of those people with RBF. I’ve had good friends from college admit this to me about our first encounter…

I’m working on the first impression piece, bc I know how important it is to the business. My biggest approach for summoning the energy needed for this continued self-development is to turn things into a game or challenge. That Stanford class on sports performance and mental fortitude still stays with me today so many years later. I want to be mentally strong, and I believe in continual learning and improvement. Ultimately, I want to become that person who has a presence, who exudes confidence, and who is compelling.

Of course, the downside of all this is that there is fatigue. I derive a lot of energy from pursuing this path toward mastery, but it’s also a never ending 24/7 kind of thing. You never know where and when the deal might come. This has caused some tension in my relationships. Interestingly, Bubbey and I find ourselves with roles reversed from several years ago when he was in the startup biz and I was working in government. Startup work is a 24/7 kind of business and at the time, I was frustrated by his complete obsession and utter lack of free time. His schedule was constantly changing and it was hard to make plans. Well, here we are again. There’s a line in the real estate business that says, “Anytime you need a deal, just go on vacation.” We had this happen several times already– when we were in Italy for our anniversary, when we were in Leavenworth for a group vacation, when we were home for Christmas… It’s hard for people outside the business to understand and I’m often frustrated having to explain it to people. It’s not like I get a stable, constant paycheck. In real estate, it’s feast or famine. I only get paid when I get a deal, and since I’m just getting my business started, it’s not like I have a consistent pipeline of business. The work comes in fits and starts and when the deal comes my way, I HAVE to take it. And I don’t want to apologize for having to take it, just like people don’t apologize for their life choices– be it going to school overseas (and being far away from family) or having kids (and seeing less of their friends) or working at their demanding jobs.

Ultimately, when Bubbey and I faced this scenario years back, he tried to spend more time with me. But he was so consumed with work that there just wasn’t a way to really balance it. I didn’t understand it at the time, bc I wasn’t working in such a demanding environment. I myself had also previously worked at a start up, and it was also crazy intense but I was in a lower role. I didn’t have the pressure or responsibility of running a team and of meeting the engineering deadlines for investors and customers.

In the end, J was never really able to attain work-life balance until he left the job.

I don’t know what lies ahead for my real estate business. My hope is that after the first several years of building the business, I will get enough consistent business to a point where I can hire help and delegate the duties… But we’ll have to see. I am trying to get there as fast as I can bc for some reason, I always feel a time pressure. Like it has to happen sooner than later. I dunno. For now, I’m continuing to plug away and I’m enjoying the journey.

Joe Cool

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After my lunch with A, I immediately reached out to her #1 in the company colleague (whom I had met before) to set up a coffee meeting. When I met with J a week later, we had a great conversation. I mean, this dude is just the epitome of calm and cool. Sure, he wore a very nice suit, but he was just chill. And we talked for hours.

The heavy hitting agents? They talk. A lot. They run raffles. They run contests. They invite potential buyers to lunch with lenders to get them preapproved. Somehow they get buyers to agree to this. The lesson? It’s about confidence, certainty, and swagger. It’s as if they make the ask without asking. It’s more like, “Let’s do lunch” rather than “Do you want to meet for lunch?” There’s a fluidity to the ask.

And ultimately, all of this communications mojo is honed through networking… Story after story, he told me about how he went to a meetup or a happy hour or a party or an event, talked to some people, befriended them, they introduced him to yet more people at the event, and bam, he got business from these guys the next week or two. I mean, at the highest level, this is how business happens, right? It’s WHO you know.

I noticed too that with both of these loan officers, they’ve never really been about getting every client. They understand from the get go that they will not earn the business of every person, and they are ok with that… and I think how it translates is it exudes confidence to the clients. In other words, it’s totally free of desperation. So that’s my first realization. Maybe in some way, I have been coming across desperate? Two. Building my network and social skills will only help me in this business. More networking (which was already one of my new year goals). Three. The success of others leaves clues. When you exude cool, you attract people. There isn’t really a slickness but rather a chill authenticity… Anyway, I saw it in J and I’m convinced it’s part of his magic.

All of this reminds me of experiences from my childhood. When I was in school, I was often bullied, bc I was Asian (only 10 in a class of 1200) and bc I was scrawny. I had my friends but for the most part, I was considered a nerd. But in Chinese school, which I attended every Sunday, I was the cool kid, er rather, the mean girl. I carried myself differently in Chinese school. I was a badass in Chinese school. And the way classmates interacted with me was different. I’m convinced that confidence is 80 percent of the game, so I’m continuing to build it through skills mastery and stronger mindset.

What’s Wrong with You?

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I had lunch recently with a loan officer friend of mine. For Chinese New Year back in early February, she had gifted me a lovely cheese board set, so I invited her to lunch as a belated thank you and catch up. She’s a super pro having been in the loan biz for over 15 years. She’s just one of those people who always appears to have her shit together: you know, goes to the gym, dresses super classy and professional, sends her two kids to private school, kicks butt in her business… I lamented to her that my business was so slow. My last deal was the end of summer.

She was so kind and sweet in her response. She told me that I was THE hardest working agent she knew and that I had the most consistent follow-up she’d ever seen. Like every time we co-hosted open houses together, I’d send a thank you card afterwards. I’d send her the leads and cc her on my emails to the visitors. Whenever I sent her clients, I’d check in with her on their status. She said, she worked with so many top producing agents, and they never did ANY of those things.

I felt really special hearing her acknowledge these habits. But still, I didn’t know why I was stagnating, and I was feeling so frustrated. At the end of our lunch, she told me not to lose hope– to keep doing what I was doing.

But, she also suggested that I speak with her colleague, who was killing it this year. He was #1 in the company across the entire USA for closing loans. She said he worked with a bunch of big time agents… maybe he would have additional insights, bc as far as she could tell, she could not figure out what was wrong with me! Turns out, from the time I met her about 1.5 years ago, she’d been puzzled by my low production. She said, she kept trying to figure out, What is wrong with you? And it didn’t make sense to her… Who knew I was like her latest conundrum?!?

It was a good meeting. I appreciated someone noticing my efforts, and afterwards, I did feel re-energized to forge ahead.

My Neighbors

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In my business, a lot of colleagues and coaches advise that I get on all the social media neighborhood platforms so that I can become more active, i.e. entrenched in my community.

Unfortunately, I find that participation on the sites/list only serves to piss me off beyond belief. Remember that time I wrote a post about a neighbor complaining on the listserv that someone had trashed their front lawn and dug up all the plants and sod overnight? The person went on an entire tirade, complaining about the cowardice of someone living amongst us having an issue with him, his wife or his dogs and not talking to him about it first. He also threatened to move out of the neighborhood after living here for 20+ years. It was a ridiculous post. Well, here’s another. I mean, these are the people living amongst us. And the writer btw had no qualms tying her name to this post. Um, hello! Newsflash: Street parking is PUBLIC. You don’t own the parking space that is next to your driveway. If you want to park close to our front door, use your own fucking driveway. SMH. I mean, I am a judgey MF. I am ESTJ after all. But even I am appalled by the insane level of presumption.

An Open Letter To The Owner of the Silver BMW i135 Squatting on XYZ Avenue,

Congratulations!  You have located the perfect long term parking spot for your car!  This spot is free from tree coverage (those pesky trees drop sap and leaves that can potentially damage a paint job! Yikes this should to be avoided at all possible costs) .  I can only assume that this location must be convenient to wherever you are going because after your last 3-day extended parking gig ended just a couple days ago – you’ve moved right back into the spot!  Ok, now this is a public street and I recognize that individuals can park for 72 hours without moving their car. But you are squatting to avoid parking costs elsewhere while you travel out of town.  

Am I psychic?  Nope.  It’s easy to recognize someone who is using a spot for long term purposes because why else would you use a dashboard sun protector on to protect your dashboard from the damaging impact of the rays of the sun during the rainiest days of the year? Because you are not physically in town.  But here you are again – dashboard sun protector and all! (actually I didn’t even notice that you have a BMW branded dashboard sun protector until I posted the pictures of your car!   That’s a super special touch).

So here’s the thing, you are parking right in front of my house.  I get it, it’s a nice spot… but I have three children with disabilities and their therapists come with to the house nearly every day after school and have to haul their supplies from down the street when you have claimed this prime spot as your designated long-term travel parking spot. Here’s an idea…. park between houses so as not to inconvenience the homeowner who may have need to park or have someone park in front of their home. Come on Pal, I know there are trees, and trees drop leaves and sap but isn’t doing the right thing better than being an inconsiderate (insert your favorite adjective here)?  Or maybe you are visiting someone in our neighborhood?  We LOVE visitors here in Monta Loma!  I wish we had more!  Frankly, I believe I can speak for all of my neighbors when I say that I am quite sure that anyone hosting a three night guest would be more than comfortable having you park in front of their home.  Or even in their driveway!  

But that’s not what is really happening here is it?  You are dumping your car for short periods of time so that you don’t have to pay for parking elsewhere.  Your continual use of a sun protector in the pouring down rain is the dead give away!  I’m guessing you are either from Arizona or have used every single penny you’ve made to save up and lease your bottom of the line BMW and are protecting your investment.  And the best part?  You are too vain to put a license plate on the front of your car.  California Vehicle Code 5200 includes two sections, which state: (a) When two license plates are issued by the department for use upon a vehicle, they shall be attached to the vehicle for which they were issued, one in the front and the other in the rear. Why you may ask when it sullies the appearance of the grill of my not-exactly- a-Tesla vehicle?  Well friend, the reason is because having a front license plate allows law enforcement officials to easily identify a car in a hit and run situation.  It also identifies cars who illegally go through bridge crossings without paying a toll. (not that you would ever evade paying a charge for a service) Oh and in the Bay Area it can come with a $110 FIx-It ticket and up to $1000 in increase of insurance costs.  But whatevs…. someone who is too cheap to pay for parking is unlikely to care about such silly bureaucratic matters.

In the meantime, I’ll make sure than my partner and I move OUR new car out of the driveway so that so that my children’s therapists and helpers can park in the driveway with ease.  I know what you are thinking!  But there are trees everywhere – why would you risk getting tree sap on YOUR new car’s paint job?  I was thinking the exact same thing, but doing the right thing and potentially paying for a car wash trumps being a (again insert your favorite adjective here)  any day of the week.  Or in this case, any three days of the week.

I realize that you are likely away for an extended period of time like earlier this week and won’t be available to move your car for another three days, but next time park somewhere else so that my children’s therapists can get in and out of the house with their supplies easily.

PS – I would be remiss not to mention that my children are the WORST drivers of bicycles and scooters ever known to live in the neighborhood.  We aren’t letting them get a drivers license until they’re 40!  Those zany boys tear out of the backyard on their bikes and scooters like wild Irish banshees set on fire and are not accustomed to having a car blocking their getaway route.  Personally I wouldn’t want to park here… but not to worry, the kids are all on high alert that the  squatter is back in front of the house and have been advised to take extraordinary care when leaving the home!

Year of the Pig

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Well it’s been ages since I wrote a post– I’m starting anew now following the lunar calendar just as the Year of the Pig is getting underway.

A lot has happened. Where to begin. Let’s see. Bentley has really turned a corner. We adopted him back in January 2018, so at the start of 2019, he was coming due on several of his vaccinations. Given his track record of going ballistic in a veterinary setting, I decided to try the vaccination clinic option instead. Several of the area pet stores offer vaccination days where vets come into the store and administer meds at discounted rates. I decided to go during a Sunday NFL playoff game (smaller crowds) and I also gave Bentley several Treatible brand hemp treats. The last time I was in Pet Food Express, the lady behind the counter recommended these pricey snacks. I was very skeptical, but she insisted that her dog was previously terrified and aggressive with the groomers, and after consuming these snacks, her pooch was a total angel. Yes, that’s some kind of drugs at work, right? Well, I was desperate, so I forked over the $20. What do you fucking know? I gave him three biscuits, headed over and left him in the car so I could scout out the store first. The line was not bad, but there were definitely several dogs in the store. I decided to take the chance. Sometimes, Bentley can get worked up on seeing other doggies, but other times, he can’t even be bothered. We entered the shop, and he walked around the store totally chill. Like, other dogs were barking and lunging towards him, getting all worked up, but Bentley just trotted calmly down the aisles. I’m telling you: game. changer.

When I checked in with the tech, I gave her the back story. She was totally unfazed. I mean, I know they are pros, but seriously, she was not the least bit worried. When it came our turn, we went behind the warehouse double doors and I suggested we have a female vet tend to him. Bentley did so well. As they got closer, I held him in a brace. He started to get nervous and began to growl but no muzzle and no thrashing and no barking like in the past. They gave two shots, and we were done. It was amazing, and I was so relieved. I hadn’t realized how much I had been procrastinating and dreading getting his vaccinations. But shit man, now I swear by those damn Treatibles.

Another month later, he was running out of his heartworm meds… I thought my vet would just renew the script. Nope, the vet office insisted that he come in for an exam. Ugh. Not again. Well, it had to be done, so I requested a female vet (Sadly, no more handsome Dr. C– he was Remy and Marty’s doctor) and did the Treatibles routine again. They also gave us the biggest exam room possible in case if his aggression was triggered claustrophobia. I know, how special needs are we?

They didn’t try for the butt thermometer, and all else went well. He let me fidget with his ear so they could look inside; I pulled back his lips to expose his pearly whites, and with me holding him in the front and John touching him in his hindquarters, the doctor was able to hop in there and test his joints and movement. A clean bill of health! Hurray. And he has actually trimmed down from 72 to 64 lbs. since we got him. Bc shepherds are super prone to hip dysplasia, I keep him really lean. But the vet said to just continue what we were doing, bc he looked really good and happy to her. Yay! She did also ask how much we were exercising him… We said just 2-3 20-min walks a day, and she said GSDs are highly active and highly intelligent: they need stimulation. So I guess that means we will walk him more. We kinda like him being a couch potato though.

Work-wise, business is busy. I was in Los Angeles last month for a realtor training. It was eye-opening and super helpful. More than anything, I have come to realize that I was giving weak signals. In other words, I wasn’t as feeling confident and that came across when I talked to people. So I need to focus more on the unspoken vibes and keep that mental toughness strong. Honestly, I wasted way too much time and energy on self-doubt. Seriously. I gotta think of it this way: Would I hire myself for something important? Well yes. Yes I would. Enough said.

Aside from the mental resilience, I am also doing many of the activities to continue building my skills and mastery. Every week, I’m previewing a ton of homes. I’m still making calls, writing notes, checking in. I’m still hosting open houses. I’m feeling stronger, learning tons, and noticing my growing confidence.

I also joined a membership women’s networking group. Yes, lots of lunches and meetups (with all the accompanying awkwardity…), but it’s good for me. I’ve actually met a bunch of new people I wouldn’t normally encounter. I’m already partnering with one to co-host an upcoming real estate and investing basics workshop in April. Yes, my brain is full of new initiatives and ideas for my biz. It’s overwhelming but also exciting. I’m feeling a new wave of motivation to get shit done.

What else. Family is well, the same. My parents are overwhelmed by busyness and not making important decisions for their future. My brother continues to proselytize his quack supplement shit. My aunt in Taiwan got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last month. Yeah, when it rains, it pours.

I am feeling frustrated by my parents’ inaction, indecision, and paralysis. I keep researching ideas and options that don’t get reviewed much less implemented. Yeah, I’m def a grab the bull by the horns kinda gal. Stagnation drives me nuts. But there is only so much I can do.

So I turn my attention to myself bc I’m the only thing I can control. On that front, I’ve put on weight. The pants are too fucking tight. I’m like busting off the damn buttons and hooks. The insomnia too is taking its toll… I’m feeling growing rage again inside when it comes to family matters. I’m hoping that picking back up on this blog will help me sort through the mental clutter and settle my mind a bit. We’ll see. I also ordered a set of resistence bands to start re-engaging my muscles. And I’m hoping to restart weekly rollerblading nights with my friend T. Time to step things up again…