Well it’s been ages since I wrote a post– I’m starting anew now following the lunar calendar just as the Year of the Pig is getting underway.

A lot has happened. Where to begin. Let’s see. Bentley has really turned a corner. We adopted him back in January 2018, so at the start of 2019, he was coming due on several of his vaccinations. Given his track record of going ballistic in a veterinary setting, I decided to try the vaccination clinic option instead. Several of the area pet stores offer vaccination days where vets come into the store and administer meds at discounted rates. I decided to go during a Sunday NFL playoff game (smaller crowds) and I also gave Bentley several Treatible brand hemp treats. The last time I was in Pet Food Express, the lady behind the counter recommended these pricey snacks. I was very skeptical, but she insisted that her dog was previously terrified and aggressive with the groomers, and after consuming these snacks, her pooch was a total angel. Yes, that’s some kind of drugs at work, right? Well, I was desperate, so I forked over the $20. What do you fucking know? I gave him three biscuits, headed over and left him in the car so I could scout out the store first. The line was not bad, but there were definitely several dogs in the store. I decided to take the chance. Sometimes, Bentley can get worked up on seeing other doggies, but other times, he can’t even be bothered. We entered the shop, and he walked around the store totally chill. Like, other dogs were barking and lunging towards him, getting all worked up, but Bentley just trotted calmly down the aisles. I’m telling you: game. changer.

When I checked in with the tech, I gave her the back story. She was totally unfazed. I mean, I know they are pros, but seriously, she was not the least bit worried. When it came our turn, we went behind the warehouse double doors and I suggested we have a female vet tend to him. Bentley did so well. As they got closer, I held him in a brace. He started to get nervous and began to growl but no muzzle and no thrashing and no barking like in the past. They gave two shots, and we were done. It was amazing, and I was so relieved. I hadn’t realized how much I had been procrastinating and dreading getting his vaccinations. But shit man, now I swear by those damn Treatibles.

Another month later, he was running out of his heartworm meds… I thought my vet would just renew the script. Nope, the vet office insisted that he come in for an exam. Ugh. Not again. Well, it had to be done, so I requested a female vet (Sadly, no more handsome Dr. C– he was Remy and Marty’s doctor) and did the Treatibles routine again. They also gave us the biggest exam room possible in case if his aggression was triggered claustrophobia. I know, how special needs are we?

They didn’t try for the butt thermometer, and all else went well. He let me fidget with his ear so they could look inside; I pulled back his lips to expose his pearly whites, and with me holding him in the front and John touching him in his hindquarters, the doctor was able to hop in there and test his joints and movement. A clean bill of health! Hurray. And he has actually trimmed down from 72 to 64 lbs. since we got him. Bc shepherds are super prone to hip dysplasia, I keep him really lean. But the vet said to just continue what we were doing, bc he looked really good and happy to her. Yay! She did also ask how much we were exercising him… We said just 2-3 20-min walks a day, and she said GSDs are highly active and highly intelligent: they need stimulation. So I guess that means we will walk him more. We kinda like him being a couch potato though.

Work-wise, business is busy. I was in Los Angeles last month for a realtor training. It was eye-opening and super helpful. More than anything, I have come to realize that I was giving weak signals. In other words, I wasn’t as feeling confident and that came across when I talked to people. So I need to focus more on the unspoken vibes and keep that mental toughness strong. Honestly, I wasted way too much time and energy on self-doubt. Seriously. I gotta think of it this way: Would I hire myself for something important? Well yes. Yes I would. Enough said.

Aside from the mental resilience, I am also doing many of the activities to continue building my skills and mastery. Every week, I’m previewing a ton of homes. I’m still making calls, writing notes, checking in. I’m still hosting open houses. I’m feeling stronger, learning tons, and noticing my growing confidence.

I also joined a membership women’s networking group. Yes, lots of lunches and meetups (with all the accompanying awkwardity…), but it’s good for me. I’ve actually met a bunch of new people I wouldn’t normally encounter. I’m already partnering with one to co-host an upcoming real estate and investing basics workshop in April. Yes, my brain is full of new initiatives and ideas for my biz. It’s overwhelming but also exciting. I’m feeling a new wave of motivation to get shit done.

What else. Family is well, the same. My parents are overwhelmed by busyness and not making important decisions for their future. My brother continues to proselytize his quack supplement shit. My aunt in Taiwan got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last month. Yeah, when it rains, it pours.

I am feeling frustrated by my parents’ inaction, indecision, and paralysis. I keep researching ideas and options that don’t get reviewed much less implemented. Yeah, I’m def a grab the bull by the horns kinda gal. Stagnation drives me nuts. But there is only so much I can do.

So I turn my attention to myself bc I’m the only thing I can control. On that front, I’ve put on weight. The pants are too fucking tight. I’m like busting off the damn buttons and hooks. The insomnia too is taking its toll… I’m feeling growing rage again inside when it comes to family matters. I’m hoping that picking back up on this blog will help me sort through the mental clutter and settle my mind a bit. We’ll see. I also ordered a set of resistence bands to start re-engaging my muscles. And I’m hoping to restart weekly rollerblading nights with my friend T. Time to step things up again…