Monthly Archives: March 2019

Catching a Break

In March, after many months of business drought, I finally caught a break. The list agent with whom I had my very first deal over 2.5 years ago, started getting a lot of business. Mind you, he’s run his own brokerage for years with only enough business for himself. But as he started picking up more listings this year, he needed to call on someone to help him host more open houses and communicate with the many Chinese-speaking visitors.

So I started covering a lot of his listings… not in the best areas and not in my usual price points, but I did it anyway. And every lead I captured, that person went into my database and I methodically kept them on my drip marketing campaign.

In February, the list agent got a new listing for a very distressed home. He invited me to attend the listing presentation and meet the sellers. The meeting at a local diner lasted FOREVER. Barely any conversation about business– just chitty chat. I was dying after more than two hours. But as he built his rapport with them, I was there kind of at the periphery but still there. And a few days later, as he advised them of their options, I was given the challenge to find a buyer for the off-market property.

I pinged my database via email and text and phone. After a few rounds, finally, someone responded. And after a few visits to the home, the general contractor made the decision to buy! Of course, there were already multiple interested parties, but in the end, the fact that I had met the sellers in that initial meeting helped me score an in-person meeting to present my client’s offer. And soon after, my client was in contract! And not only was this client super knowledgeable, having been a GC and local investor for 20+ years, he was so straightforward and pleasant to work with.

As it turned out, this deal got complicated towards the end as the close of escrow date approached. The “occupant” was very resistant about vacating the property and in California, there are all sorts of potential landlord-tenant legal issues… Thankfully, in the end, the deal closed and I learned so much. The hardest part was seeing the downside of real estate: it was not easy getting someone who had no job, car, and no other place to go, out of the property. It didn’t feel good even if it was what the sellers wanted and what needed to be done to protect my client. At the end of everything, I got my client an amazing deal, and the sellers were thrilled to get the money fast to help their family. But someone also lost the place he was living… I hope that the tenant will seek assistance from social services and job placement agencies to get him back on his feet.

Interestingly, this off-market deal led to my very first listing. You see, the day that I presented my offer (for the first time ever in person) to the seller and the listing agent, it just so happened that a mother and daughter were sitting at the table next to us. We were at that diner again. They overheard our conversation and proceeded to interrupt my offer presentation to tell us 1) they also had a home to sell 2) they wanted to meet with us, bc they liked what they had heard.

Yup, bam, just like that. I got one offer accepted and a listing appointment booked on the same day. It was super sweet and certainly made for a great story!

Nature of the Biz

I’m rounding out the first quarter of my third year in the real estate biz, and the ride has certainly been an eventful one. More than any other career I have undertaken (and I’ve done multiple), this one has been a serious rollercoaster.

You see, in the other roles, sure I often had that initial crisis of confidence. Honestly, I think it’s a woman thing. We tend to expect a higher level of knowledge, competency, and preparedness before we’ll feel confident about our expertise. So whenever I started something new, there was that initiation phase of building familiarity, skills, relationships and understanding the people and processes. After about a year in, I started getting the hang of it and it was smoother sailing from there. With real estate, it’s really a constantly-evolving process and the additional responsibility of building my own business entails added challenges.

As I tell many people, from a very young age, my mother always said I was bossy. After I became an adult, graduated from school, and entered the work force, I think she and my father were always rather incredulous that I could work for anyone. I mean, what can I say, growing up, they saw a lot of independence, resistance, and defiance. You know, immigrant parents, yada, yada. I didn’t like being told what to do, especially from my parents. In that sense, the autonomy of my current business is a great fit, bc I like weighing options and selecting the path forward. I like making the decisions.

That said, I’m not gonna lie: The lead generation part of building a business has been a struggle. I’ve grown a ton and definitely conditioned myself to enduring many more uncomfortable situations… but the task of persuading or convincing people to work with me has been difficult. First, I don’t think I come across immediately as a particularly extroverted or immediately likable individual. I’m kinda one of those people with RBF. I’ve had good friends from college admit this to me about our first encounter…

I’m working on the first impression piece, bc I know how important it is to the business. My biggest approach for summoning the energy needed for this continued self-development is to turn things into a game or challenge. That Stanford class on sports performance and mental fortitude still stays with me today so many years later. I want to be mentally strong, and I believe in continual learning and improvement. Ultimately, I want to become that person who has a presence, who exudes confidence, and who is compelling.

Of course, the downside of all this is that there is fatigue. I derive a lot of energy from pursuing this path toward mastery, but it’s also a never ending 24/7 kind of thing. You never know where and when the deal might come. This has caused some tension in my relationships. Interestingly, Bubbey and I find ourselves with roles reversed from several years ago when he was in the startup biz and I was working in government. Startup work is a 24/7 kind of business and at the time, I was frustrated by his complete obsession and utter lack of free time. His schedule was constantly changing and it was hard to make plans. Well, here we are again. There’s a line in the real estate business that says, “Anytime you need a deal, just go on vacation.” We had this happen several times already– when we were in Italy for our anniversary, when we were in Leavenworth for a group vacation, when we were home for Christmas… It’s hard for people outside the business to understand and I’m often frustrated having to explain it to people. It’s not like I get a stable, constant paycheck. In real estate, it’s feast or famine. I only get paid when I get a deal, and since I’m just getting my business started, it’s not like I have a consistent pipeline of business. The work comes in fits and starts and when the deal comes my way, I HAVE to take it. And I don’t want to apologize for having to take it, just like people don’t apologize for their life choices– be it going to school overseas (and being far away from family) or having kids (and seeing less of their friends) or working at their demanding jobs.

Ultimately, when Bubbey and I faced this scenario years back, he tried to spend more time with me. But he was so consumed with work that there just wasn’t a way to really balance it. I didn’t understand it at the time, bc I wasn’t working in such a demanding environment. I myself had also previously worked at a start up, and it was also crazy intense but I was in a lower role. I didn’t have the pressure or responsibility of running a team and of meeting the engineering deadlines for investors and customers.

In the end, J was never really able to attain work-life balance until he left the job.

I don’t know what lies ahead for my real estate business. My hope is that after the first several years of building the business, I will get enough consistent business to a point where I can hire help and delegate the duties… But we’ll have to see. I am trying to get there as fast as I can bc for some reason, I always feel a time pressure. Like it has to happen sooner than later. I dunno. For now, I’m continuing to plug away and I’m enjoying the journey.

Joe Cool

After my lunch with A, I immediately reached out to her #1 in the company colleague (whom I had met before) to set up a coffee meeting. When I met with J a week later, we had a great conversation. I mean, this dude is just the epitome of calm and cool. Sure, he wore a very nice suit, but he was just chill. And we talked for hours.

The heavy hitting agents? They talk. A lot. They run raffles. They run contests. They invite potential buyers to lunch with lenders to get them preapproved. Somehow they get buyers to agree to this. The lesson? It’s about confidence, certainty, and swagger. It’s as if they make the ask without asking. It’s more like, “Let’s do lunch” rather than “Do you want to meet for lunch?” There’s a fluidity to the ask.

And ultimately, all of this communications mojo is honed through networking… Story after story, he told me about how he went to a meetup or a happy hour or a party or an event, talked to some people, befriended them, they introduced him to yet more people at the event, and bam, he got business from these guys the next week or two. I mean, at the highest level, this is how business happens, right? It’s WHO you know.

I noticed too that with both of these loan officers, they’ve never really been about getting every client. They understand from the get go that they will not earn the business of every person, and they are ok with that… and I think how it translates is it exudes confidence to the clients. In other words, it’s totally free of desperation. So that’s my first realization. Maybe in some way, I have been coming across desperate? Two. Building my network and social skills will only help me in this business. More networking (which was already one of my new year goals). Three. The success of others leaves clues. When you exude cool, you attract people. There isn’t really a slickness but rather a chill authenticity… Anyway, I saw it in J and I’m convinced it’s part of his magic.

All of this reminds me of experiences from my childhood. When I was in school, I was often bullied, bc I was Asian (only 10 in a class of 1200) and bc I was scrawny. I had my friends but for the most part, I was considered a nerd. But in Chinese school, which I attended every Sunday, I was the cool kid, er rather, the mean girl. I carried myself differently in Chinese school. I was a badass in Chinese school. And the way classmates interacted with me was different. I’m convinced that confidence is 80 percent of the game, so I’m continuing to build it through skills mastery and stronger mindset.

What’s Wrong with You?

I had lunch recently with a loan officer friend of mine. For Chinese New Year back in early February, she had gifted me a lovely cheese board set, so I invited her to lunch as a belated thank you and catch up. She’s a super pro having been in the loan biz for over 15 years. She’s just one of those people who always appears to have her shit together: you know, goes to the gym, dresses super classy and professional, sends her two kids to private school, kicks butt in her business… I lamented to her that my business was so slow. My last deal was the end of summer.

She was so kind and sweet in her response. She told me that I was THE hardest working agent she knew and that I had the most consistent follow-up she’d ever seen. Like every time we co-hosted open houses together, I’d send a thank you card afterwards. I’d send her the leads and cc her on my emails to the visitors. Whenever I sent her clients, I’d check in with her on their status. She said, she worked with so many top producing agents, and they never did ANY of those things.

I felt really special hearing her acknowledge these habits. But still, I didn’t know why I was stagnating, and I was feeling so frustrated. At the end of our lunch, she told me not to lose hope– to keep doing what I was doing.

But, she also suggested that I speak with her colleague, who was killing it this year. He was #1 in the company across the entire USA for closing loans. She said he worked with a bunch of big time agents… maybe he would have additional insights, bc as far as she could tell, she could not figure out what was wrong with me! Turns out, from the time I met her about 1.5 years ago, she’d been puzzled by my low production. She said, she kept trying to figure out, What is wrong with you? And it didn’t make sense to her… Who knew I was like her latest conundrum?!?

It was a good meeting. I appreciated someone noticing my efforts, and afterwards, I did feel re-energized to forge ahead.

My Neighbors

In my business, a lot of colleagues and coaches advise that I get on all the social media neighborhood platforms so that I can become more active, i.e. entrenched in my community.

Unfortunately, I find that participation on the sites/list only serves to piss me off beyond belief. Remember that time I wrote a post about a neighbor complaining on the listserv that someone had trashed their front lawn and dug up all the plants and sod overnight? The person went on an entire tirade, complaining about the cowardice of someone living amongst us having an issue with him, his wife or his dogs and not talking to him about it first. He also threatened to move out of the neighborhood after living here for 20+ years. It was a ridiculous post. Well, here’s another. I mean, these are the people living amongst us. And the writer btw had no qualms tying her name to this post. Um, hello! Newsflash: Street parking is PUBLIC. You don’t own the parking space that is next to your driveway. If you want to park close to our front door, use your own fucking driveway. SMH. I mean, I am a judgey MF. I am ESTJ after all. But even I am appalled by the insane level of presumption.

An Open Letter To The Owner of the Silver BMW i135 Squatting on XYZ Avenue,

Congratulations!  You have located the perfect long term parking spot for your car!  This spot is free from tree coverage (those pesky trees drop sap and leaves that can potentially damage a paint job! Yikes this should to be avoided at all possible costs) .  I can only assume that this location must be convenient to wherever you are going because after your last 3-day extended parking gig ended just a couple days ago – you’ve moved right back into the spot!  Ok, now this is a public street and I recognize that individuals can park for 72 hours without moving their car. But you are squatting to avoid parking costs elsewhere while you travel out of town.  

Am I psychic?  Nope.  It’s easy to recognize someone who is using a spot for long term purposes because why else would you use a dashboard sun protector on to protect your dashboard from the damaging impact of the rays of the sun during the rainiest days of the year? Because you are not physically in town.  But here you are again – dashboard sun protector and all! (actually I didn’t even notice that you have a BMW branded dashboard sun protector until I posted the pictures of your car!   That’s a super special touch).

So here’s the thing, you are parking right in front of my house.  I get it, it’s a nice spot… but I have three children with disabilities and their therapists come with to the house nearly every day after school and have to haul their supplies from down the street when you have claimed this prime spot as your designated long-term travel parking spot. Here’s an idea…. park between houses so as not to inconvenience the homeowner who may have need to park or have someone park in front of their home. Come on Pal, I know there are trees, and trees drop leaves and sap but isn’t doing the right thing better than being an inconsiderate (insert your favorite adjective here)?  Or maybe you are visiting someone in our neighborhood?  We LOVE visitors here in Monta Loma!  I wish we had more!  Frankly, I believe I can speak for all of my neighbors when I say that I am quite sure that anyone hosting a three night guest would be more than comfortable having you park in front of their home.  Or even in their driveway!  

But that’s not what is really happening here is it?  You are dumping your car for short periods of time so that you don’t have to pay for parking elsewhere.  Your continual use of a sun protector in the pouring down rain is the dead give away!  I’m guessing you are either from Arizona or have used every single penny you’ve made to save up and lease your bottom of the line BMW and are protecting your investment.  And the best part?  You are too vain to put a license plate on the front of your car.  California Vehicle Code 5200 includes two sections, which state: (a) When two license plates are issued by the department for use upon a vehicle, they shall be attached to the vehicle for which they were issued, one in the front and the other in the rear. Why you may ask when it sullies the appearance of the grill of my not-exactly- a-Tesla vehicle?  Well friend, the reason is because having a front license plate allows law enforcement officials to easily identify a car in a hit and run situation.  It also identifies cars who illegally go through bridge crossings without paying a toll. (not that you would ever evade paying a charge for a service) Oh and in the Bay Area it can come with a $110 FIx-It ticket and up to $1000 in increase of insurance costs.  But whatevs…. someone who is too cheap to pay for parking is unlikely to care about such silly bureaucratic matters.

In the meantime, I’ll make sure than my partner and I move OUR new car out of the driveway so that so that my children’s therapists and helpers can park in the driveway with ease.  I know what you are thinking!  But there are trees everywhere – why would you risk getting tree sap on YOUR new car’s paint job?  I was thinking the exact same thing, but doing the right thing and potentially paying for a car wash trumps being a (again insert your favorite adjective here)  any day of the week.  Or in this case, any three days of the week.

I realize that you are likely away for an extended period of time like earlier this week and won’t be available to move your car for another three days, but next time park somewhere else so that my children’s therapists can get in and out of the house with their supplies easily.

PS – I would be remiss not to mention that my children are the WORST drivers of bicycles and scooters ever known to live in the neighborhood.  We aren’t letting them get a drivers license until they’re 40!  Those zany boys tear out of the backyard on their bikes and scooters like wild Irish banshees set on fire and are not accustomed to having a car blocking their getaway route.  Personally I wouldn’t want to park here… but not to worry, the kids are all on high alert that the  squatter is back in front of the house and have been advised to take extraordinary care when leaving the home!

Year of the Pig

Well it’s been ages since I wrote a post– I’m starting anew now following the lunar calendar just as the Year of the Pig is getting underway.

A lot has happened. Where to begin. Let’s see. Bentley has really turned a corner. We adopted him back in January 2018, so at the start of 2019, he was coming due on several of his vaccinations. Given his track record of going ballistic in a veterinary setting, I decided to try the vaccination clinic option instead. Several of the area pet stores offer vaccination days where vets come into the store and administer meds at discounted rates. I decided to go during a Sunday NFL playoff game (smaller crowds) and I also gave Bentley several Treatible brand hemp treats. The last time I was in Pet Food Express, the lady behind the counter recommended these pricey snacks. I was very skeptical, but she insisted that her dog was previously terrified and aggressive with the groomers, and after consuming these snacks, her pooch was a total angel. Yes, that’s some kind of drugs at work, right? Well, I was desperate, so I forked over the $20. What do you fucking know? I gave him three biscuits, headed over and left him in the car so I could scout out the store first. The line was not bad, but there were definitely several dogs in the store. I decided to take the chance. Sometimes, Bentley can get worked up on seeing other doggies, but other times, he can’t even be bothered. We entered the shop, and he walked around the store totally chill. Like, other dogs were barking and lunging towards him, getting all worked up, but Bentley just trotted calmly down the aisles. I’m telling you: game. changer.

When I checked in with the tech, I gave her the back story. She was totally unfazed. I mean, I know they are pros, but seriously, she was not the least bit worried. When it came our turn, we went behind the warehouse double doors and I suggested we have a female vet tend to him. Bentley did so well. As they got closer, I held him in a brace. He started to get nervous and began to growl but no muzzle and no thrashing and no barking like in the past. They gave two shots, and we were done. It was amazing, and I was so relieved. I hadn’t realized how much I had been procrastinating and dreading getting his vaccinations. But shit man, now I swear by those damn Treatibles.

Another month later, he was running out of his heartworm meds… I thought my vet would just renew the script. Nope, the vet office insisted that he come in for an exam. Ugh. Not again. Well, it had to be done, so I requested a female vet (Sadly, no more handsome Dr. C– he was Remy and Marty’s doctor) and did the Treatibles routine again. They also gave us the biggest exam room possible in case if his aggression was triggered claustrophobia. I know, how special needs are we?

They didn’t try for the butt thermometer, and all else went well. He let me fidget with his ear so they could look inside; I pulled back his lips to expose his pearly whites, and with me holding him in the front and John touching him in his hindquarters, the doctor was able to hop in there and test his joints and movement. A clean bill of health! Hurray. And he has actually trimmed down from 72 to 64 lbs. since we got him. Bc shepherds are super prone to hip dysplasia, I keep him really lean. But the vet said to just continue what we were doing, bc he looked really good and happy to her. Yay! She did also ask how much we were exercising him… We said just 2-3 20-min walks a day, and she said GSDs are highly active and highly intelligent: they need stimulation. So I guess that means we will walk him more. We kinda like him being a couch potato though.

Work-wise, business is busy. I was in Los Angeles last month for a realtor training. It was eye-opening and super helpful. More than anything, I have come to realize that I was giving weak signals. In other words, I wasn’t as feeling confident and that came across when I talked to people. So I need to focus more on the unspoken vibes and keep that mental toughness strong. Honestly, I wasted way too much time and energy on self-doubt. Seriously. I gotta think of it this way: Would I hire myself for something important? Well yes. Yes I would. Enough said.

Aside from the mental resilience, I am also doing many of the activities to continue building my skills and mastery. Every week, I’m previewing a ton of homes. I’m still making calls, writing notes, checking in. I’m still hosting open houses. I’m feeling stronger, learning tons, and noticing my growing confidence.

I also joined a membership women’s networking group. Yes, lots of lunches and meetups (with all the accompanying awkwardity…), but it’s good for me. I’ve actually met a bunch of new people I wouldn’t normally encounter. I’m already partnering with one to co-host an upcoming real estate and investing basics workshop in April. Yes, my brain is full of new initiatives and ideas for my biz. It’s overwhelming but also exciting. I’m feeling a new wave of motivation to get shit done.

What else. Family is well, the same. My parents are overwhelmed by busyness and not making important decisions for their future. My brother continues to proselytize his quack supplement shit. My aunt in Taiwan got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last month. Yeah, when it rains, it pours.

I am feeling frustrated by my parents’ inaction, indecision, and paralysis. I keep researching ideas and options that don’t get reviewed much less implemented. Yeah, I’m def a grab the bull by the horns kinda gal. Stagnation drives me nuts. But there is only so much I can do.

So I turn my attention to myself bc I’m the only thing I can control. On that front, I’ve put on weight. The pants are too fucking tight. I’m like busting off the damn buttons and hooks. The insomnia too is taking its toll… I’m feeling growing rage again inside when it comes to family matters. I’m hoping that picking back up on this blog will help me sort through the mental clutter and settle my mind a bit. We’ll see. I also ordered a set of resistence bands to start re-engaging my muscles. And I’m hoping to restart weekly rollerblading nights with my friend T. Time to step things up again…