Beach Bummin’

Today was another gorgeous day in paradise. By the time I woke up at 7am, the entire living room was already filled with sunlight. So beautiful and energizing. P was up already studying (her usual mode these days), and we kicked off the morning with fresh juice, yogurt, and fruit. We planned to do yoga on Ocean Beach at 11 (I told you this is the life!), but around 10:30a, her buds C & N called inviting me to breakfast. Haha, yeah I had already eaten breakfast but heck, that didn’t stop me from going out for round 2. I scarfed down an entire egg sandwich. I had a great time catching up with C & N. They are such good listeners. Probably too good even, because I never seem to shut the fuck up after I get started with them.

After we returned from breakfast, P joined us for a bike ride along the water. Yup, the weather could not have been more perfect. I borrowed their neighbor’s bad ass, monster beach cruiser (in matte black, of course), and we were like a fucking gang– the four of us cruising down the bike path. Beach livin’, I tell you: it’s goddamn luxurious.

After the ride, P went to class, so I tagged along with C & N on a trip to South Coast Mall– yup, an uber souped up shopping destination near Irvine. Shiit, we went into the Tiffany’s, and holy crap, I had no idea people actually frequented that store!! The place was packed!! And the salespeople were on it. I must have been approached like 4 times in 15 minutes. Couldn’t they see that I was wearing a cheapie Forever 21 pleather jacket? I can’t be affording their jewelry and baubles?!?! Sheesh!

What else. We scoped out a tattoo parlor near The Camp. I am continuing my tattoo portfolio research. Ugh, this is the second shop I have visited only to be disappointed by the level of detail. At this rate, I’m thinking I’ll have to go to an artist featured on one of the tv shows. Who wants to bother with messy lines and ugly designs? I have no idea how the steps will appear towards my tattoo dreams.

Btw, we had some interesting conversation at dinner tonight. Over a tasty meal at the local Vietnamese pho shop, we talked reproductive ailments and conditions. I suppose the topic was fresh on P’s mind following her 3-hr nursing school lecture. Our poor waiter, I dunno how many times he swung by the table only to hear dinner-inappropriate terms like vagina, douching, discharge, and halitosis being thrown around casually. Guess that’s what happens when you dine with a nursing student, a medical translator, and medical office ops manager. Apparently nothing is off limits with these ladies! Yup. All my friends are fucking hard core. Step off if you can’t handle it!

The Downside of Getting into the Zone

After leaving my job at the end of August, one of my first orders of business was to set up my home office. Previously, my office/guest room was full of junk. Seriously, ask my friend G who came clean recently (post room makeover). I had a monster desk with a hutch, and the whole thing was just piled with crap. In the rest of the room, there was a very cushy but ridiculously amorphous queen air mattress. So I decided it was time to make the space more functional and appealing.

I completed the makeover in October, and I have to say, my productivity has skyrocketed. I get into the zone a lot, and shit is getting real! After all, I have now had ten info interviews and as you know, I’m in talks with the ranch to do some biz development. Yee haw!

Of course, there is a downside to me getting into the zone. You see, even as a kid, I was so disciplined about “work before play” and getting crap done that I gave myself UTI. Yes, as an elementary schooler, I didn’t have time to go to the bathroom. That’s how cray cray intense I was. I would be doing something, I needed to pee, but “ok, just after this gets done or that gets finished.” Next thing I know, I didn’t even have to go anymore. After many trips to the doctor and a ridiculously painful burning sensation when I did pee, I finally learned my lesson.

Well kind of. I’ve just put two and two together and actually, as an adult, there have been so many times when I have gotten into the zone and next thing I know, it’s 3 p.m., and I never ate breakfast or lunch. My friends think this is fucked up. But honestly, when I get hungry and my stomach growls, it doesn’t really register with my brain. And once I’m over-hungry, the hunger goes away!! I know, I’m not endorsing this as recommended behavior. I’m just saying, this is how lunch sometimes gets skipped.

So anyway, yesterday I was working in my office… I got to blogging or something, and I had to go to the bathroom… Probably an hour after I first had to go, I finally lifted my ass off my chair. When I came back a few minutes later, there was a fucking bloody mess all over my pretty patterned chair!!!! I know, you would think I was a teenager menstruating for the first time, but no, I have been dealing with this inconvenience for decades and yet… Ugh. I am a dumbass. It was an overflow issue, if you must know. Thoroughly disgusting. Clearly, I have issues, but welcome to my reality. The lesson here? Since I have so few interruptions at home (at work, people were always coming over for lunch or a tea break or whatever), I might actually have to add reminders to my gcal so I get my ass up to take a potty/food/whatever break. How ridiculous am I??

Imagining the Life

I had a pretty productive day today. In the morning, I met up with S and S at the ranch. We went out for a trail ride, and I reunited with Master for the first time in months. I’d forgotten how tall that horse is: it was a real struggle getting the saddle that high up above my shoulders. And then he was giving me a real tough time putting the bit into his mouth. Once we got on the trails, he was good, albeit a bit slower than Chip. Anyway, the highlight really was that this was my first time having a meeting, like a real business meeting, while riding horseback. Fucking awesome!! Really different without my laptop and notes: in fact, I was kinda worried about getting all my thoughts out and remembering what we discussed afterwards, but shit, the experience was pretty damn cool. We had a great meeting: there’s lots to do. After we got back to the office, S told me the target areas he was interested in having me work on, and I’m thinking I’d love to give this a go until the end of the year. The work arrangement is very flexible: work from home, on my own; we’ll meet every Thursday as we did today, and then I’ll get commissions with a cut that I think is reasonable. So still a lot of details are up in the air, but I’m willing to just give it a whirl to see where this all leads. Super stoked.

In the afternoon, a guy from the city came over to the house to conduct a water audit. Yeah, our water bills have looked way excessive to me and not surprisingly, the primary culprit is our beautiful, lush, green lawn. The city has a program where owners can get landscape rebates for converting their lawns to low water yards. Interestingly enough, the guy said we are doing surprisingly well given how nice our yard looks. So that was comforting, but still. We are going to keep the lawn in the backyard for the pups, but I’m thinking that the front lawn will have to go. Even if by local standards, 200+ gallons per day is good, that volume still blows my mind. So yes, I’ll be playing my “how low can you go” game with that. Haha.

In the evening, I attended a Bay Area Girl Geek networking event at Cisco. The panel of speakers were so inspiring. One common theme: complacency stifles growth. The women talked about doing new things, taking on challenging projects even in the face of fear. Their words really resonated with me, and it got me thinking that this ranch opportunity really is a chance to live the unconventional life I’ve been dreaming about. It IS scary, and a part of me thinks that I’ll still need to return to a standard 9-5 job where the pay and everything else is stable and structured and predictable, but maybe this is where the risk-taking needs to come into play. The other partner at the ranch also runs an events/catering business. As the women at Cisco said yesterday, “you have to see it to believe it and then do it.” What does it mean to run a business (a non-enterprise software business)? I am anxious about the uncertainty and newness, but I am also so curious. Someone last night defined risk-taking as: knowing your comfort zone, feeling curious about something outside of that, feeling fear, and then going forward anyway to pursue that curiosity. That’s where my mind is going now…

Another Productive Day

Day 2 of 30 for NaBloPoMo. Whew, I’m really beat. I trekked into the city today for two meetings. The first was an informational interview with an account exec at a social good communications firm. Last week, I had researched her company on LinkedIn (my newest stalking tool), and when I searched for a professional contact/connection, sadly, the magic search engine spitted out no one. Ah well, a minor obstacle for a persistent fool like me. I honed in on this lady: she had an interesting profile, and she’s been there a few years, so after some rather basic Googling, I got her email. Then, in the style of my new emboldened, big-dreaming-ass self, I emailed her out of the blue. Yup, when LinkedIn fails to make a connection, I gots to find a new route, you know what I’m saying?

Obviously, I wasn’t creepy about it or anything: I explained that I had left my previous workplace and I was currently in discovery mode, trying to pinpoint what was next. To my giddy surprise, she agreed to meet for an info interview!! Yahoo!! So today, we met in person. What a lovely, helpful, honest professional. I’m telling you, these info interviews have been amazing! I have met so many generous, supportive people– people who have candidly shared their own career paths and experiences. I cannot say enough how insightful these meetings are.

After that, I had lunch with a contact from my last workplace. A few months ago, he left his previous employment (of 9 years) and joined a new place in July. He’s super hard working, and just always plugging away on something cool, so it was great to catch up over lunch. Suddenly, it was 2 p.m.– time to make the trek down the peninsula before rush hour. Like a dumbass, I made the stupid mistake of skipping a restroom pitstop prior to boarding. Long story short, I couldn’t last all the way home, so hell, I stopped midway in San Mateo “to use the restroom at the mall.” Haha. Yup, took that opportunity to drop into a few stores and chill at the Barnes & Noble. Holy crap, I had totally forgotten about B&N! I mean, after the demise of Borders (facilitated, in part, by my ridiculous addiction to Amazon), I was certain these bookstore/coffee shops were a thing of the past. Yeah, I felt a tinge of nostalgia even. Those spots were definitely an old favorite in my younger years.

Whatdadya know, tomorrow’s another busy day. I’ll be heading out to the ranch for a ride and meeting to talk business development and marketing. I am liking this self-scheduled lifestyle!

Late to the Game

I attended my first blogging conference last July in Chicago: the BlogHer 2013. At the end of the 3-day conference, I’ll admit: my verdict on the conference was really ho hum. I mean, yes, I loved the keynotes, especially the talks by Ree Drummond and Sheryl Sandberg, but the sessions were really kinda hit or miss. Some were super chintzy with no real content/help. Others were too general. Yet there was no denying that BlogHer, with its 5,000 conference attendees, had community and critical mass. I decided to keep BlogHer on my radar.

In early September, after I launched Giddy Go, Cowgirl, it seemed like an obvious next step to join the BlogHer Network. I hadn’t really dug around the site too deeply, but 1) BlogHer actually has an office nearby in Belmont, so somehow being local made them more appealing and 2) I couldn’t help but be impressed by its massive aggregation (one-stop shop) of blogs. There was also something attractive about women bloggers supporting other women bloggers. What would joining the network do for me? I really had no idea. As it turned out, my blog needed to be up and running for 90 days before I could even apply to join. So fine, BlogHer went under the radar again.

Then at the end of October, BlogHer 2014 was announced to be in… San Jose! Yes, practically in my backyard, so I have to go again. Where am I going with all this in and out, on and off BlogHer activity? I don’t know, but I’m taking these steps one at a time. Normally, I would adopt a very all or nothing approach. Either go full force, guns ablazin’ or don’t even bother. But I’m trying a new paradigm. For now, curiosity is enough for me to take just one step forward. So I’m registered for BlogHer 2014 in July 2014.

Incidentally, late last night, I came across a tweet calling today (November 5) the last day to join NaBloPoMo, National Blog Posting Month. What is that? Several months ago when I was taking my Uncover Your Calling class, my coach had mentioned NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month where every day participants write a part for a novel that they complete at the end of the month. It sounded interesting, but eh, novel writing isn’t really my thing. But NaBloPoMo apparently sprung from this concept: write a blog entry once a day for 30 days. I’ve been meaning to write more frequently… and I remember that Ree Drummond credited her frequent, daily blogging and photographing to dramatically improving the caliber of her content.

So I signed up NaBloPoMo too. Yeah, I’m already late to the game being that the month started five days ago, but I’ll just start it from here and go until December 5. One post a day. How hard can this be, right? Haha. Who knows, maybe my daily meditations will finally start kicking in and new material will come to me quickly! Fingers crossed.

NaBloPoMo November 2013

The Excitement Builds

Last week, I had a brief conversation with S, my riding instructor/ranch owner, about his ideas for growing the business. Earlier this month, he had expressed interest in having me help with some marketing and business development, so this was our first discussion. We were in a truck full of other people, and I wanted to mull it all over a bit, so I agreed to give it some thought and get back to him.

The following week, I was continuing with my Coursera Intro to Marketing class, and it’s kinda uncanny but the class got my juices flowing, and I started brainstorming all kinds of ideas. I emailed S a rather lengthy list of considerations unsure if it would be too intense this early on, but heck, I decided to be unabashed. This whole notion of envisioning my future and of dreaming big has got me hooked. I mean, when S first mentioned the possibility of working together, I was really taken aback. Despite what my Lean In group had been telling me, I still wasn’t expecting anything. And thinking back, I see now that, if I were my former hesitant self, I probably would have just shot down the suggestion immediately without giving it any consideration. Thankfully, this time, I’m trying to be open. I’m getting better at being comfortable with being uncomfortable, and so I’m trying hard to really believe in my heart of hearts that anything is possible.

So anyhow, the class got my brain churning, and I sent S the email. What do you know? A few days later, he replied that he was thrilled with my points. I had really impressed him (and surprised myself). Pretty damn cool. So again, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about living this “unconventional” life… by that, I guess I just mean a life kinda different from what I, my family, and my close friends currently live. Sure, I read blogs all the time about people who left their lucrative corporate jobs to start a business or to become a professional blogger… But I don’t really know people like that personally. It’s not that the stories I read aren’t truthful or credible, it’s just hard to see that situation apply to me, you know?

A few days ago, I read a tweet asserting that people who know entrepreneurs are more likely to become entrepreneurs themselves. Hmm, so this idea of exposure and of witnessing real-life examples is a powerful force. It also reminds me of another tweet I saw recently from the CEO of Evernote: Don’t bother making friends with people you can’t start a company with… It’s sounds harsh, but I think it’s so true. Being around positive, motivated, high-caliber people has a way of encouraging you to push and challenge yourself. Enthusiasm and momentum kinda stack and amplify in these surprising ways… I am feeling pretty darn optimistic and energized these days. Let’s hope this wave lasts a long while!

Bridge School Bust

When I bought our tickets a few months ago for the Bridge School Concert this month, I should have noticed the signs. First, I just didn’t feel all that jazzed about the lineup. Yeah, maybe it was because I hardly knew any of the people (e.g. Elvis Costello, Cosby, Stills. Nash & Young, Jenny Lewis, Diana Krall, etc.). I know, maybe I should actually know these artists, but I don’t. Remember: my excuse for such cultural illiteracies is that my parents are immigrants. And yes, I know G, your parents are immigrants too, but you were also a music (/physics/bio…) major. 😛

Anyway, after my whole Ticketmaster debacle, I should have just gotten the refund and ended the transaction right there. Nope, this would continue to be a very painful process. The day before the concert, John called his sister to confirm our plans. She and her beau were supposed to join us. Well, she ended up getting stuck in Pennsylvania for work. Then, we scrambled around last minute trying to fill our two spots. In the end, John’s office friend A joined, and we sold the fourth ticket at the event. Fine. Then, we headed out to the amphitheater early, thinking we’ll try to get good lawn seats. Nope, the lawn was super packed by the time we arrived, so we were very far back. We had a jumbotron in our direct line of sight, but far away. Incidentally, the brand-new folding chairs we bought that morning from REI? They were supposed to kick our lawn seats up a notch. Well, they weren’t allowed. We had to check that shit at the gate. Seriously, it was one thing after another. Thankfully, we packed a shitload of snacks, and they sold wines by the bottle. Haha. But man, that music was so blah. I mean, yeah, sitting far away definitely killed the live music experience, but the other issue was the schedule/song lineup. There was just no energy. I dunno if people were tired or in a drugged out stupor already or what. Totally dead. We left early. Yeah, it was that disappointing. You KNOW how cheap I am. If I buy a 3-month Groupon for $25, I will use it the entire three months even if I HATE the workouts (e.g. kickboxing). But man, for Bridge this year, we just had to cut our losses. We jetted after Jack Johnson (Banana Pancakes was probably the most pumped up song of the night!). Man, what a disappointment. The first year John went, he saw DMB, Beck, Modest Mouse, Beck, Pearl Jam… Last year, we had Foster the People, Sarah McLachlan, Ray Montangue, Kd Lang, Eddie Vedder… This year? Total bust. John says we’ll just watch the webcast from home next year. Haha, honestly, I think this is just one other indication that we are turning into old geezers: we’d rather watch a concert on tv. So stinking geriatric and lame, but heck, I can’t even deny it.

Chasin’ Them Cowgirl Dreams

Last week, I reunited with the ladies from the book club/career coaching class I’d taken at the end of August. Over a period of six weeks, the four of us had met weekly to discuss Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In and to share our insights and personal experiences. The class talked a lot about dreams and what we envision for our futures. As with my earlier “Uncover your Calling” class, I struggled a lot with the concept of starting with a big, standalone dream and not having ANY of the details on how to build towards it. I remember feeling frustrated when the class wrapped in September: I didn’t seem to have any more clarity than before. I grew discouraged and impatient: I was reading all these books, doing all these exercises, taking all these classes, and when? When was the answer going to appear? I started to wonder if maybe I was just being unrealistic, impractical, immature, naive. Maybe I needed to just go back to job hunting: tech project management, social media, web editing, whatever.

John is someone who avoids all this contemplative, wishy washy, touchy feely stuff for himself, but oddly enough, he actually “gets” all of this (more than I do even!), and he has this uncanny, amazing way of zoning in to the the essence of everything. Seriously. When I told him about all these doubts creeping back, he reminded me that it’s normal to feel uneasy and uncertain, but he encouraged me to not give up. I’d left a comfortable, secure, and stable job for a reason, and we had planned for this opportunity. We had given up other things in order to create this freedom of choice for ourselves– this chance to take risks and to seek something different for our life together. And so I tried to let go of the guilt and of the feeling that I wasn’t worthy of this liberty and luxury. And then I took that 2-week travel sabbatical. 😉

So when I met the ladies for lunch, I was still a little skeptical. The coach hosted us at her amazing beach home on the coastal bluffs, and she shared with us her dream board from four years ago. I won’t go into her personal details, but long story short, back when she created her dream board, the transition or path from her life four years ago to the life depicted in her dream board was nearly unfathomable. And yet, four years later, she and her husband achieved that dream. The lesson is this: when you envision a dream for yourself, no matter how off-the-wall or impossible or imaginary it seems, when you remind yourself about the dream, somehow– consciously or subconsciously– your mind works to figure out a way to get you there.

Last week, I couldn’t see this process working for me, but I decided to just try to be more open. You see, one of my dreams is to live on a nice ranch with horses and dogs. I want to have a flexible work arrangement, where I work (often remotely) with people I respect, people who are also my dear friends, and we use technology to get shit done smartly and efficiently. On the side, I want to write and blog– like professionally. Oh and I want to be a rockstar– figuratively.

So I had left that luncheon feeling open to new possibilities. Then, a few days later, I returned to the ranch for my horseback riding lessons. My instructor asked why I had been away for so long. I explained that I had left my job. And then, he said he wanted me to help him with marketing/web work to grow the business. Whaaa?? So it’s early yet. We are to discuss the details, but the point is, wow. This is an opportunity to integrate things I love to do: horseback riding, project management, communications, problem solving, and web. Is the universe responding to my positive thoughts and my new state of openness?? Kinda weird, right?

Back in Action!

Now that I’m all renewed and refreshed following my travel sabbatical, I’m getting back down to business. Right now, my plan is to formally apply for work by the end of November. In the meantime, I’m continuing with info interviews to narrow down my areas of interest and compile an employer target list. I’m kinda toying with a few ideas:

* communications work for a foundation
* project management for a start up
* my own web consulting biz
* communications/web work for ranches or horse-related businesses and orgs

I had a really helpful meeting last week with a lady who does communications work at the Hewlett Foundation. The Foundation funds a ton of projects in the areas of environment, education, women’s health, and performing arts (all my big causes!) She really enjoys the work and loves the culture, so I’m going to explore this further by talking with some other peeps at other foundations in the area.

In the personal growth arena, I’m trying to incorporate some new daily habits: I have been hot tubbing and  meditating every morning for the last 10 days. I’m hoping that one of these days the meditation will just click, and I’ll feel the magic. Also, I’ve been continuing with my cooking. That’s actually going surprisingly well. I’m even seeing a difference in my kitchen and seasoning skills, and my friends say my beef strogonaff is the best they’ve eaten!

Oh, and I started a new course on Coursera: Intro to Marketing by some profs at UPenn. I am learning SO much. I cannot say enough about Coursera: after suffering years of learning burnout from school and formal education, learning is fun again.

Moss Balls

In case you don’t know me personally, let me tell you candidly:  I grew up really sheltered and super straight-arrow. Seriously. My parents were conservative Chinese parents who didn’t trust sleepovers and pretty much were paranoid about everything. Always, the safest option was to study and stay at home. Needless to say, as a middle schooler, while I was having nervous breakdowns about my grades being less than perfect (literally, anything less than 100% was a disappointment), my classmates were learning about flirting, evading rules, partying, experimenting, etc. Just to give you an idea of how oblivious I was, in the eighth grade, my friend asked if I knew what oral sex was. I said, “Yeah…  It’s talking about sex.” Yes, that was my answer. Obviously, I didn’t mean talking about it the way they do in health class or whatever… I meant more like phone sex or something, but still. My friend could not stop laughing in my face. Embarrassing!

When I was a senior in high school, I overheard a classmate talking about having sex at a party and being walked in on by other partygoers. I was completely incredulous. Huh?? For real? Surely, she was just telling a tall tale, right? Ok, so you get the picture. I was a dumb dumb when it came to basic adolescent cultural literacy.

Unfortunately, my lack of awareness has also carried into my adult life. Geez, the shock when I discovered that people I knew– working, responsible adults– smoked weed!  Huh? REALLY?? So that’s my baseline. By now, I’ve witnessed pot-smoking in public. Wooey, right? Yeah, the joint thing, the bong thing… Standard San Francisco behavior.

So someone I know is a person of science. One day, I hopped onto her desktop computer to I dunno Google shit, whatever. Next to the keyboard, I saw a ziploc bag containing three quarter-sized, moss green clumps. Since she is a scientist, I figured that these were samples that she had brought home from work to study/analyze further at home. You know, like taking work home to write a report or draft some analysis. The next day, I asked if she worked from home a lot. No, never. Hmm, that’s weird, why would she have samples at home then? A few days later, I see a bong next to the ziploc bag. Aaahhh, ok. I get it now. Duh!! See how slow I am with this shit?? I’m telling you, sometimes I really am an alien. In my defense, what else can I say: I am the daughter of goody-goody Chinese immigrants. I can’t be expected to have full cultural literacy.