Muddy Waters Marty

The other day, I was thinking more about my masseuse’s comment: What kind of crazy stressful life are you living? To be honest, I felt kind of ashamed when he said that, bc duh, I’m not even working right now. I don’t necessarily feel super stressed, but then again, I also have a history of being oblivious to stress until it manifests physically (shingles, H1N1, walking pneumonia). While in Palm Springs though, I definitely noticed that I slept better. The hotel was so freaking quiet, and I slept uninterrupted through the entire night. At home, I have the toughest time getting rest. Every leadership and productivity book I read talks about the importance of sleep. There have also been recent studies linking shitty sleep to Alzheimer’s (which my maternal grandmother now has and I think my mother will have…). I’ve been trying desperately to get that shit sorted, so I don’t follow their same path towards crazy.

So after two days of rest and relaxation, I came back late Monday to a number of things that immediately swung me back into an anxious state. First, Marty completely soiled my new sectional with mud. Yes, the couch that is dry-clean only and requires water-free solvent!chaise

Granted, the Bay Area was socked in with rain and wind while I was away– unusually wet and stormy weather. J says Marty was stressed bc I was away. I dunno: it’s never been an issue before, but seeing as old age is turning him into a different dog, I suppose it’s possible. Then, there’s also the high pressure changes that might have made him uncomfortable. Certainly, in the last several years, as a senior dog, he has never had a habit of getting on the furniture. In the last year, there have been times with his sundown syndrome (nighttime anxiety) when Bubbey has invited him onto the old sofa to spoon and calm down. But he never invites himself. I don’t know if he was stressed or confused or what. Needless to say, when I walked through the door and saw the extensive muddy mess ALL over the white chaise, I was so pissed. The weird thing is, typically I’m not one for keeping possessions in mint condition (I have a scratched car, scratched wood floors, dirty leather boots, etc.). I value use and practicality over keeping shit pristine and unused, but I dunno. It was less than a month old, and I was really trying to embrace this new art of staying tidy. Still, who could fault Marty. He wasn’t trying to act out. I mean, in his old age, he just isn’t quite himself anymore. J was beyond exasperated when I got home. It was interesting how in two days, our positions flip flopped. The week prior, I had been exhausted and frustrated. Marty was super clingy during the day (often getting in my way and causing me to trip on him) and then at night, he was restless, scratching his bed a billion times, panting crazy, and going in and out of the doggie door. I was so annoyed, I yelled at him a few times, and Bubbey tried to remind me that he was a good dog. Similar to what we have witnessed with our oldie humans, these elder years are fucking challenging, man. And if I think back, they were excruciatingly difficult with Remy too.

Maybe he just needed to feel safe in a den? So we brought out his dog crate. Both Remy and Marty were crate trained, and when we lived in Virginia, they were crated during the day. I’m a big advocate of crating but we stopped the practice in 2004 just bc they were fine without it. So I put him back in on Monday night, and shit, he started wigging out. WTF is going on? I let him out after a few minutes. Ugh. Probably too many years have passed since crate living. That night though, he slept like a fucking rock in the bedroom. No wakeups or anything. I was hopeful.

Then, the very next day, same shit as before: clingy during the day. I was thinking that maybe I ought to confine him to a room so I can rest at night, so I put him in my office where he usually sleeps while I am on the computer most of the day. In the middle of the day, I left for a few hours and when I came back, he had knocked the water bowl and was again stressed and panting. That night, the sundown syndrome was back with a vengeance. I got no sleep and in the middle of the night, I started researching this. Holy crap: so many forums where people have old dogs (> 11 years) and these same problems!! People liken this period to having a newborn. They aren’t getting any sleep and they are worried about functioning at their jobs during the day. They have tried everything: crating, melatonin, doggie xanax, Benedryl, sleeping in the human’s bed, etc. It makes me think of a comment my friend J once made about being the father to three children. He said, “Now I know why pigs kill (roll over) their young.” And it’s sad, bc I remember the glory days when everyone was young and happy and healthy. Remy and Marty brought me so much joy. How can I NOT try every possible option? So that night, I ordered a few tinctures plus some homeopathic sleeping pills. Part of the complication is that Marty’s kidney disease makes it difficult for him to process standard pain meds (for arthritis) and in the past when we tried xanax, it made things worse. And then with all the upcoming travel, I worry about getting him adequate care.

Meanwhile, in the last few weeks, I’ve been getting those calls in the middle of the night from mom in Taiwan. My phone rings at like 3am, and when I see it’s from Taiwan, I feel anxious that maybe something happened to the grandparents (all three are over 93 y/o) or my parents. Nope, mom just got the time change wrong. Jesus fucking Christ. Then, yesterday, after a sleepless night with Marty, I got a call from Dad at 8am. Johnny was supposed to cancel my grandparents’ return flight since they are going to live in Taiwan now but instead, he accidentally checked them in. Can I call United and fix it of figure out the cancel/change/refund situation? Ugh!! Dad is all maxed out and stressed. Normally, WTF. Get the AB Duke scholar (my brother) to call and fix his mistake! But then Dad sounds so stretched and at the end of his string, that Jesus Christ, fine. I’ll do it. Argh!! Next time, I will just have to call my brother and tell him to handle it. Fucking A. As for the “helping my parents” vs enabling issue. My dad just is not in the mental state right now to be empowered. Between dealing with my neurotic mother and handling all my maternal grandparents’ paperwork/logistics (the townhouse, medical coverage, housing– moving from place to place, travel, taxes, etc.) plus his youngest sister just underwent heart surgery, it’s just too damn much. And again, as I am seeing with Marty, old age is fucking my Dad over. He just can’t function the way he used to. His capacity is down big time.

I guess this is what people call the sandwich generation. It’s this period in your life when you are trying to raise and care for your own family while also handling eldercare. It’s especially stressful I think when you feel like there aren’t enough people to help. Like my Dad does everything (yes partly bc he is a control freak), but also bc my mother doesn’t have the capacity and bc my brother really is a fucking useless tard.

Anyway, as I write all this out, it’s no fucking wonder my muscles are tighter than hell. I’m just trying to take this shit one step at a time. The first calming tincture did not help Marty at all last night. Tonight, I’ll try the second one. I sure hope it knocks Marty out.

Pool Time in Palm Springs

I was in Palm Springs last weekend meeting up with my friend G, who flew in from Seattle. The trip was brief, but we had a good time, hitting the food scene, raiding the outlets, and soaking up the rays by the pool and at the hot springs. We used to chat fairly regularly via phone, but now those catch ups are harder to coordinate, so it was nice to have a couple days to get back up to speed. Unfortunately, it’s always a bit disappointing to hear other people with their stories of workplace drama and bullshit. I know people say dickwads are everywhere, but I guess I just never want to believe it. Annoying. Family-wise though, it sounds like things are going well: the baby is getting big and learning new skills. They are enjoying their house, planning to renovate the basement, and gearing up for some travel. I have to say, G+J have always been really good about hitting places they want to go without procrastinating. J and I are trying to do more of that this year, with the whole “best life” theme and all. As a side note though, I do think it helps when both people in the couple are planners. Not that I’m jabbing at Bubbey, but I’m just saying: he gets decision fatigue from work; likewise, sometimes I get fatigued from handling all the household and travel/trip logistics. In the end, it works out fine, but there are just some roadblocks every now and then that seem to slow us down.

G was asking me about my bucket list, which I used to maintain online with Schemer until the app went kaput. I actually managed to find another version/copy on my iphone notes. It’s definitely been helpful for us at least in terms of picking out our destinations, but thinking about my bucket list also reminds me that I need to go back to writing out my new year resolutions. I used to do it, but then I stopped for no real reason. Those resolutions def helped keep me on track for the year, even if some shit would get done in the last two weeks of December!

Back to the trip: Overall, I was happy with how the visit panned out. Before my flight into Ontario (much cheaper than PSP and only 70 min away!), the forecast had called for mostly wind and rain. But once we got in town, we lucked out with several hours of sunshine every day and really, it only started to rain heavily on our last day AFTER we were already done with the spa and hot springs and headed for the airport. Oh, at the hot springs spa, I got a deep tissue massage. Goddamn, I’ve had a lot of strong-handed masseuses, but this dude was way intense. Hurt like hell, and I think my wrists are bruised today. I did ask him to lighten up for the bottom half, but initially, you know me: I’m always wanting to test my threshold. The guy did say that my muscles were crazy tight. “What kind of crazy, stressful life are you living?” Um, I dunno. I’m not even working right now. WTF?! Whatever, chock it up as a physical manifestation of my insomnia and usual overthinking. Then again, he probably just says that to every client. I tried to call him on it, but he insists he was being honest. He did recommend that I exercise more regularly. Maybe he felt a lot of jiggly spots. 😛

I def recommend PSP for a quickie weekend destination. Short flight out of SJC, there’s the mid-century modern architecture (though we didn’t cover too much of that on this trip), outdoor options (Joshua Tree or Indian Canyon), hot springs and spas, outlets, and the food is pretty good. Sure, being in the middle of the desert with a gabillion golf courses sucking up crazy amounts of water feels rather strange and counter-intuitive, but shit, there is nothing like sunshine and pool time. And thankfully, the place we stayed was 1) child-free and 2) had 24-hr. pool and hot tub access. Seriously, I must have gone for a soak/dip 3 times in one day. Live it up while you can, baby. Although now that I think of it, our lives at home meet both of those requirements already. Well, no pool. ;)[FAG id=7447]

Kobayashi

Word on the street is The House of Prime Rib typically books out months in advance. Thankfully, I somehow managed to score reservations for the day AFTER Bubbey’s bday. We’d only gone once before and that was years ago… We went with our friends, and goddamn, it felt so fricking pricey. Now that we’re old folks though, I was looking at the menu (Of course, I researched the shit out of that too: did you know there’s a secret menu?!?), and the prices didn’t seem shocking at all. Chock it up to living in the Bay Area! All told, including drinks, about $60 pp. Not bad for super high end all-you-can-eat beef plus all the sides, right? Granted, earlier I was researching Michelin-starred places like Chez TJ in Mountain View and Manresa in Los Gatos. Fuck man, we’re talking several Benjamins per person!! Thankfully, Bubbey told me he’s not as into the uber swanky restaurants like he used to be. Haha, I say it’s bc his current company is a bunch of fresh PhD grads, so being surrounded by all those former students (with this being their first jobs out) brings down the standards. I was reminded of my grad school days when I was making furniture out of giveaway plastic milk crates and cardboard boxes (a medicine cabinet, an end table, and Remy’s perched doggie bed) from the Publix supermarket. Anyway, HOPR did not disappoint, and man, that place was packed!!! Bubbey was making fun of me bc all the Asian diners there were leaving with bags and bags of leftovers, so he said I was feeling pressured to “play my game.” I def ordered seconds and ate it. The waitress was impressed. Oh yeah lady, I can be a real Kobayashi when I want to be… I ate nearly every round, from the starting sourdough bread, to the dressing-drenched salad and the juice-soaked Yorkshire pudding (more bread), plus all my mashed potatoes and creamed spinach, and my whole plate of meat. And then I got another plate of the “end piece,” which I had learned from the secret menu. Tasty but surprisingly a little too dry for me (Next time I’d stick to the original English cut!). In the end, we only left with ONE bag of food– Bubbey’s baked potato. Yeah, I was kinda bummed not to maximize for some additional meals at home, but Bubbey gets his way on his bday. All in all, we had a great celebration week.

Big Bday

Bubs turned 40 this week. We always say that we’re so old and have been together so long, that we’ve run out of gifts to buy, so let’s just focus on experiences… and then last minute, we think of things to buy! This year, with the completion of the garage cabinets and general household organization, Bubs mentioned getting a tool chest. I enlisted the expertise of K’s beau D (a certified builder of many things) and whatdya know, he pointed me to a very affordable heavy-duty system. After a couple of hours of price checking, reading reviews, and conducting my usual overkill on product research, I was ready to buy and deliver. Goddamn, Amazon Prime’s got me spoiled! I gotta wait until mid March? Nope, not gonna work. So then, I decided to pick that shit up in store. Well, not sure if you’ve noticed, but Sears stores are few and far between. Next, check stock. The only store with stock for immediate pickup? 30 minutes away in SJ. Not terribly far but still some distance. My mistake? I foolishly thought that I could fit a set of rolling drawers + a top tool chest in a 4-door sedan. Mind you, I showed up and the guy looked at me like I was totally insane. But you know me: VG is a persistent beotch. “Maybe if I move the passenger seat or we take it out of the box…” After a few minutes of my shenanigans, we got the top chest into the front of my car. No luck with the rolling drawers.

Thank goodness for friends with trucks, man! After lamenting my issue, K immediately enlisted the help of D, who promptly agreed to pick up the drawers and deliver them to my house that night!! Damn, these people move fast! By 9p, we had the whole system set up in the garage! Thanks K+D!! Granted, I specifically bought the system that only required assembling the cart handle and the wheels (The Seville brand systems require like 3 hrs. of assembly!). And of course Bubs and I don’t read instructions, so we installed the wheels without first putting on the flanges. Duh. One of these days, we’ll learn. I think Bubs is pretty happy, and I’m pleased too: went through Upromise AND got both items on major sale. Hee, hee.

So his bday has quietly been a multi-day celebration. The day before, he got his tool chest. The day of, his Timberland chukkas arrived just in time (thank goodness for Amazon free shipping/returns!). I’ve been trying to get him to like Timberland shoes for years, and he finally warmed up to them. For dinner, I bought a pricey hunk of USDA prime steak (Thanks M for treating us to Schaub’s!!) and paired that with scallops for my home version of “Surf and Turf.” The sear on the scallops wasn’t very good bc I used a nonstick instead of cast iron, but the NuWave did a pretty awesome job on the ribeye. I swear, I need to go into sales and marketing for that damn appliance. Truth be told, the flavor via NuWave is more similar to how Bubs and I both grew up eating steaks– cooked in the oven broiler or via toaster oven. Tasty, but the flavor when cooked on the open flames of a grill are better. My family freaks out about consuming any amount of char (contains cancer-causing compounds), but damn, there is nothing better than those crispy, black, flavor crystals. Now I know for next time. Grill best, NuWave second best.

In the last week, I’ve definitely been feeling a roller-coaster of emotions, triggered by our own aging and just having a lot of solo time to overthink life, work, friendships, everything. But one thing that made me feel better about myself was just this thought that I can actually cook now. I’m not a master chef like Bubs, but fuck man, I can consistently make several tasty dishes. And sure, sometimes I use shortcuts like ready-to-eat Costco salads and straight-pour pesto sauces, but heck, my shit is not just edible, it’s tasty. And it’s decent enough that I feel fine about feeding it to other people!! I’ve come a pretty long way, so I gave myself a pat on the back for my progress… and thank fucking goodness for the NuWave and pressure cooker. Life-changing, I tell ya.

Letting Go

The other day, I spent an hour or two crafting a job application for a senior project manager job. I had been following the firm for a few years: they are technical consultants to nonprofit organizations. Two years ago, I had come across some of their conference slides and blog posts, and the place just sounded like an amazing place to work. I reached out to two staffers and met them for info interviews. At the time, I knew that the core of their work was around Salesforce/Drupal. I had never held a position where I needed either of those skills, but I figured that moving towards Salesforce might be a good move for my future. I started doing training videos, etc. Even after I joined the university for the social media job, I attended the Salesforce conference on my own time and dime, and I occasionally took some online courses on Salesforce. After I crafted my application, I reached out to one of the info interviewee people, and then it hit me. As much as I think I want to work at this org and in this space, sometimes there simply is no way around the required time in the saddle. Taking video tutorials is NOT the same as using Salesforce at work. It was a sad but valuable realization, similar to one I had had months ago after I applied to the um-teenth corporate social responsibility and philanthropy job. I had been trying to learn things on my own on the side, but ultimately, when I got real feedback from the hiring manager, she said this: you have really robust skills and experience, but for this role, we have so many applicants with the exact skills who have been doing the exact role somewhere else. In other words, why would they take a risk and hire someone who would have to learn on the job when they could just plug/play a person with the exact background they are seeking?

So here’s my dilemma every time I pivot professionally: The job is X, and there are a ton of people with the precise skills of X. There’s no reason to have someone with Y skills learn X skills on the job. I feel like my skills match well for the intersection of tech and nonprofit and consulting. And I have worked in that space before. But managing tech features/projects for a scrappy nonprofit or a slow-moving government agency is different from working at a place that has the latest/newest platforms and that employs people who are certified in project management.

Today I feel tired and discouraged. Is this a repeat of my generalist vs. specialist problem? At some point, when do you throw in the towel? You think you belong in a certain space, but that space doesn’t think you belong. How long do you try to fill the gaps to gain approval and acceptance ? And when do you stop and say, maybe I can’t help in this specific capacity. Maybe I can help as a donor, but not as an employee. I’m not the person they are seeking. And maybe I have never quite been that person, bc I am an eternal misfit after all. Sigh.

I reached out yesterday to an acquaintance who’s a realtor (former tech company employee). I asked her about recommended places to take the required courses for the sales license. She got back to me suggesting an online outfit that actually has a rolling schedule. No school semester schedule with registration or add/drop periods! Granted, real estate has popped into my mind many times in the past, and given how many related tasks I’ve had to handle for my father throughout the years, this isn’t a total stretch. There are aspects that appeal to me: the independence, the different schedule, the various business elements, the balance of people/solo time, the potential for growth… Maybe now is the time to stop trying so hard to fit my square peg into a round hole. Maybe this path will lead to something satisfying and fulfilling. The timeline can be as fast as a couple months (the barrier to entry is low, as Bubbey says) and then I might know with clarity…

Seeing Us in Them

I dunno about you, but I often see myself in other people. Sure, the other people might be celebrities on tv or characters in a fictional movie/play, but that’s beside the point. While John was in NYC last week, I indulged in a ton of Fixer Upper. Like most shows, FU follows a formula and the project design aesthetic (modern farmhouse) is pretty the same from episode to episode… Still, I love the show: every house still turns out amaze-balls, and despite J and I’s obvious differences from the Gaines (CA vs. TX; no kids vs. 4 kids; tech vs. creative/handy), I see so much of us in them. First, let’s just put it out there: You gotta love the “peaches and cream” element. Hurray for mixed-race couples! But it also cracks me up when Joanna is trying to be all business and serious, and then Chip stands next to her and goofs off. Even the way he behaves kinda reminds me of Bubs. I was thinking today about the person I was 20 years ago: holy shit, super straight arrow and tight. ass. Very rigid, unforgiving, self-righteous, and hyper judgmental. I mean, I had good qualities in there, but there was a lot of attitude. But Bubbey, man. He always had a way of making me chill the fuck out and crack a smile. On so many occasions, he de-escalated a hysterical, raging mad, pissed off VG (triggered by family, of course). The power of his magic, I tell ya.

So yeah, in one of the last episodes, Joanna was talking to the camera and Chip was standing next to her doing this bumping and grinding motion. Even when she sometimes get annoyed with him, he’ll just do something to make her laugh. So in this episode, he got up next to her and started pumping his hands in the air. No joke, Bubbey has pulled shit like that! I also love how Chip and Joanna are a team. I mean, J and I have never worked together professionally (He says he’s an asshole at the office, but I don’t believe him), but I feel like we complement each other pretty well, similar to Chip and Joanna. It’s this idea that we all have our strengths and weaknesses… and sometimes two people mesh and things click. Ok sorry, not trying to ooze with sap here.

On the flip side, I can also really get into relationship movies. I remember how much I loved The Breakup and The Story of Us. I once told a couple friend that The Breakup was one of my favorite movies, and the dude totally disagreed, saying how much he hated it. He hated how they treated each other and hated the ending, but I felt like the relationship was so real and the ending was even more realistic, without the typical Hollywood fluff ending. When Bubs and I weren’t jiving years ago, we entered such a bad zone. The blame, the resentment, the frustration and miscommunication, the unspoken words, the expectations, the misinterpretations… it is a royal fucking mess. But I learned so much about love and respect and ultimately about not having to be right all the damn time. That last bit is still hard for me, but sometimes Bubbey just gets to have the last word.

I don’t know that there is a point to all this rambling. I guess I’ve just been thinking about relationships lately, maybe with all the celeb breakups and that irksome show The Bachelor. One thing is for sure: if you’re a celeb couple, don’t be hiring any young, hot nannies. As qualified and competent as they may be, the dudes just cannot seem to keep their junk in the goddamn trunk. Seriously. Jude Law, David Beckham, Gavin Rossdale, Ben Affleck, the list goes on. Theoretically, I don’t think any of that should matter: kinda like rape. No matter what the hell a woman is wearing, if she doesn’t consent, it’s rape. By a similar token, no matter who is around you, you’re married. Back the fuck off. Sigh. If only people kept things that black and white.

Raunch Overload

So there’s been a common theme with me lately… everywhere I turn, I’m faced with major raunch. Is this how the world has always worked and I’m only seeing it now, or maybe it really is just me? First, dance class continues to be ridiculous. Tonight was my very last class, and I’m kind of relieved to be honest. Surprisingly, I kept up with the routine today, but man, teach is just too much for me. For reals. The final step was basically this move where my weight is on the right foot and the left knee is bent with the left foot pointed on the ground and then there are five hip thrusts with the feet staying in place. I had some trouble getting this movement down (I basically just kept bending my right knee), so I asked him to go over it again. Big. mistake. Holy fuck. He lifts that left leg up as if it’s on an imaginary chair and then again, he says, “You know, imagine you and hubby are going at it and uh, uh, uh, yeah, get in there deep!” WHAAAATTTT??? OMG. I was so embarrassed. I don’t even know how to respond other than to make a nervous laugh, shake my head, and cover my eyes. Holy crap. Are gay dudes really this sex obsessed???

Then yesterday, K and I went to a relationship play. It’s been forever since I got my theater on, so I was really stoked about catching this production at a small black box theater in San Jose. The play was Closer, based on that movie from a few years back starring Jude Law, Clive Owen, Natalie Portman, and Julia Roberts. In retrospect, it was a fucked up movie with a lot of mind games and dysfunction. Somehow I just got caught up with all the good reviews and I dunno, I also forgot that the Clive Owen character was a sex/porn addict. Needless to say, we’re in this small theater with like 20 other people (mostly bluehairs– typical), and suddenly a scene begins showing an online chat dialog on the projection screen. It’s a chat convo for a sex forum. OMFG. The language. The raunch!! The c word, the p word, everything crass and more! And then there’s this old couple in the row in front of ours where the woman can’t read the text on the screen, so her hubby starts reading her the lines. Holy. shit. I about died. The thing is, I’ve found so many damn winners through Goldstar, but every single time K and I do a Goldstar activity, it’s a fucking dud. Argh, what a fail!

Meanwhile on the homefront, Bubs is in NYC this week for work, which means I have full control of the tv. Holy crap, there is a ton of shit on the airwaves. Of course, I enjoyed KUWTK. I don’t watch the Kardashians consistently, but when I do, I enjoy it. I know they have a lot of haters, but I dunno: there’s something curious/intriguing about their tight family and about all their moguling. I mean, they have their brand EVERYWHERE. They can’t be total bimbos to amplify that shit all over the damn place. Plus, it’s one show that doesn’t get me all stressed out. 

In addition to the Kdashes, I recently discovered there is a Real Housewives of Potomac. I only watched the Atlanta one ocassionally a few years back ,but I was curious about this one since well, I’m from Maryland. Oddly enough, I learned yesterday that the cast is predominantly black, which is def not how I picture the demographic of Potomac, where Bub’s oldest sister lives…

Tonight, I came home and the tv was already tuned to the Bachelor. I have to say, I have not watched a single episode of this show, bc the premise just makes me so fucking angry. Apparently, in tonight’s episode, he’s like meeting the families of the four remaining women. Are these women for real? I mean, how can you keep insisting that your connection with the dude is so authentic and that it’s “real love” when you KNOW he is multi-timing you!! I mean, it’s so standard that the guy hooks up with like every single chick on the show from the beginning!!! Ugh. This show disgusts me. And then when the parents are like talking to him and asking him questions, he never even gives specific, genuine answers. Like “Why are you interested in my daughter? How is she different from the other ladies?” And he just gives generic answers, like “From the moment I met her, I just felt a connection.” Puhlease. 

Wow, holy crap. With the last family, the two brothers just grilled him hard!! But then the parents were all empathetic, saying the bachelor is in a tough spot. Really? You’re going to feel bad for a dude who plays 20 women at the same time??? OMG. Why do people do this show? WTF??? Of course, I will watch this episode to the end bc I have to give it a full review. Haha. Btw, how can these women say that he has all the qualities that they want? Is one of those qualities being a player?? Every single one of the four women says she’s in love with him… after TWO single dates and a few group dates. Fucking tards. Married at First Sight is so much better than this crap. Off to bed early to clear my mind of all this raunch. Tomorrow’s a new fresh day, I hope. Clean slate.

Furniture Feud

In other news, I am feuding with Crate & Barrel. In my classic firm and nice kind of way. 🙂 You see, five years ago, we bit the bullet and purchased the gorgeous, mid-century Petrie sofa. Considering our history with free, Craiglist, or Costco furniture, this was a big deal. The couch arrived and it was beautiful, BUT from the very beginning, the fucking buttons on the bottom cushions kept popping off. Mind you, Remy and Martin never got on the furniture. And we don’t have kids. And we hardly have guests compared to our old apartment in San Mateo. The buttons would sometimes catch on our jeans back pockets but other times, they would just pop off. The first time, I called and the store sent a furniture medic to repair. He came out. Fixed. The medic told me it happened all the time with those couches. It happened again, like within a month. I felt bad about calling (why?), so I waited until like 4 buttons came off, and we flipped the cushions. The second time, the store agreed to send another medic. Fixed. A month or two later, the buttons popped off again. Again, I felt bad and just waited. Now I have seven buttons that have popped off the dang thing. And I’m just annoyed. So I called the store and explained. Yes, I know it’s five years old. But this has been a recurring problem from the beginning when it was brand new. I admit, I got lazy about calling. But I want it fixed. Back and forth. They say this is their first time hearing about this issue with this couch, as if to imply that I am the only person. Puhleeze, your own repair dude told me it was a common issue!! They put me in touch with the medic company and said repair would be on my own dime. I contacted the medic plus other upholstery folks. Estimated $100-300 for repair. I then go online and several sites have commenters complaining about the damn buttons for the Petrie. Now I’m kinda pissed.

Last week, we decided to just get another couch– this time a sectional that is wider and without buttons. But I still want this old one fixed! So now I’ve ordered the new sectional (we’ve had good luck with CB2, even though they are a subsidiary of C&B), but I asked furniture customer service to reconsider repair on my Petrie. They advised that I call the C&B store again where I bought the Petrie. Today, the agent says she’ll discuss my case with the manager again and let me know tomorrow. Here’s the thing. Last time when I had to call Verizon about charging me for like 11 months of cell service that I never used (I thought my account had been closed), they kept bringing up why hadn’t I noticed the monthly charge on my card, and I kept beating myself up about it falling through the cracks. But then my friend G said: don’t let them shame you into thinking it’s your fault. Tmobile told you they canceled your number, and now Verizon is charging you full when they can see that you never used ANY of the service! I feel like C&B is trying to do something similar here. As if to suggest that I am being dishonest or whatever. It’s not easy to call and ask for something. And they certainly don’t make it easy. In all honesty, who wants to bother or trouble someone else? But I really do feel like this is a product flaw. Anyway, we’ll see what they suggest tomorrow and go from there. Frankly, I think they should offer giving me bottom cushions without buttons and be done with it. Fuck man, consumer advocate VG is not backing down!

On the Mend

Mid February is a festive time of year, primarily bc of Chinese New Year, but also bc there’s Valentine’s Day (if you celebrate that made-up marketing holiday) and Presidents’ Day (= day off from work). Of course, as my luck would have it, February is also the one time of the year that my body likes to shut the fuck down. Waay down. Yup, my CNY party got canceled (again!), bc I returned from Long Beach and caught a cold. Admittedly, I am the world’s worst sick person: as soon as I feel one teensy bit better, I overdo it, and then my body revolts. So yeah, my Chinese New Year party got canceled (after I bought most of the ingredients for an extensive menu). I gave in and decided to give myself the long holiday weekend to recover. By Monday, I thought I was back on the up and up. Then, that evening I went to hip hop class 3. Since it was a holiday, none of the kids showed up, and it was just four adults with a new routine again (every two weeks!), and holy fuck there were a gabillion steps! We started with warm ups, and almost immediately, my head started feeling dizzy and light headed. I thought I was going to faint and/or throw up. And then, we started into the routine. This dude is too much into the sexy moves. I mean, I know hip hop has a lot of bumping and grinding, but why can’t we learn moves that are more non-sexual bboy/Missy Elliot style, you know? Whatever. So this new routine starts off with three body rolls and wtf, Robot Vix couldn’t even do those. Teacher was all like, “Think of sexy time with the hubby.” He is too much. And there must have been twice as many steps as our previous routines. I couldn’t even remember them all. Usually, after I get home, I write down key words to remind myself of the steps. You know, like butt sways, swivel, hip swirl, shake dice, etc. Nope. All gone. No frickin’ clue. Chock it up to being sick. One class left, and then if I ever learn hip hop again, it’s going to be online.

The next day, I was feeling sore from the one hour of dance. I know, I’m pathetic. Still, I was determined to be productive. The elfa closet installer arrived promptly at 8 am, and he worked until about 2 pm. While he was here, I got to working on the monster trash pile that had accumulated the last several months by the shed. There was all that demo waste from when Bubbey took down the shelving and paneling in the garage. Then, there was household junk, and since we had a few big storms, everything was soggy and sopping wet. It was disgusting. I had scheduled Wednesday for the city’s “On Call Plus” special curbside pickup service, and since I like to follow instructions, I had to remove a shit ton of nails from everything and then stack the shelving on the curb and bundle old drywall and panel pieces into bags. Bubbey had started already on some of the bagging but they were supposed to be < 50 lbs. Most were way heavier, esp since now they were wet. So I had to move crap around from old bags to new bags. Long story short, mucking around in all that junk triggered my allergies. Big. Time. I could NOT stop sneezing. I’m sure the closet installer was like, wtf is wrong with this lady? Needless to say, I got most of the junk cleared out. And I think I earned my stripes, bc the utility crew working on the house next door made some comment like, “You sure are working hard for a Tuesday!” Yeah dude, I am on a mission.

On Wednesday, I felt like shit again. This time, my body was even more sore and I was too exhausted to get out of bed. I stayed in bed until noon and then I went out to check on the junk, and it was all still there. I started getting worried that maybe they weren’t going to take it all. Maybe I didn’t get all the nails out or the stuff was supposed to be boxed instead of stacked? I went back to bed. By 3, I got up and thankfully, everything was gone: the 9′ tall wooden shelf, the screen door, the bags, the wood, the old cast iron grates, all of it! Yay. Now I think one more On Call Plus should do the trick and then, we are done!!

By evening, I was feeling better but starving. Bubbey’s been super busy with work, so I had a minor pity party about being sick and being left alone to die. Yeah, drama. queen. Then, I figured I needed to save myself. So that CNY duck got roasted up. Like I told my father many years ago, “I can put my own bread on the table.” Get it, girl. Duck came out amazeballs. And then I even did a killer job carving that bird up. Yeah!

 

Sleepless Nights

So after losing three days (and counting) to sickness, I can’t sleep again. The mind is just overwhelmed right now. The recent good news? I learned two helpful tidbits yesterday from my side hustles. A few weeks ago, after upgrading our cable box to Xfinity X1 (same cost but better technology), our receiver suddenly stopped putting out sound. Mind you, we got this thing in 2012 and Bubbey didn’t know why it went kaput. I looked up the warranty and even with the Visa/Amex automatic extended warranty of 1 year, it was def beyond the coverage period. So Bubbey just bought a different one. The old one got relegated to the garage, and then this week, I finally shot a pic and posted it on Freecycle. Well as with most electronics, I got a ton of response. The next day, I set it outside labeled for the first person to come get it. Soon after, I received an email from someone else who said this is a known issue with Onkyo receivers from that period: Onkyo will fix the defect for free and extend the original warranty. I clicked on the link and sure enough, my model qualified. Had this Freecycler not informed me, how the hell was I supposed to know about this option? I’m usually pretty good about looking up warranties etc. And even after going to the Onkyo support page, there wasn’t any kind of obvious recall/factory callback. This person could have easily collected my receiver for free and then turned around and gotten it fixed for free, scoring himself a $450 receiver, so I was thankful and thrilled that s/he shared the knowledge. I dunno how this person might have stumbled on the info: perhaps s/he also had a faulty unit? I dunno, but yay!

The second thing I learned? I sold Bubbey’s electric shaver system with the auto-cleaning feature on EBay. I included the alcohol-based cleaning cartridge and got the package all ready for shipping until I realized that the cleaning solvent is flammable. I tried to figure out online what the volume limitations might be for shipping flammable liquids… No clear information. Finally, I had to go in person to the post office and even the clerks had to look up that shit. Confusing but I was pleased to learn that at that volume (5 oz) and in that packaging (a sealed plastic cartridge), I was good to proceed. Interestingly though, there are potentially restrictions on like perfume and aerosols and stuff. Who knew? I’m building my repertoire of shipping knowledge for more optimal EBay store operation in the future! Btw, I really need to up my shipping costs. I always just guesstimate a fixed cost, and I get screwed every. damn. time. Note to self: double the shipping from what I think it’ll be.

In other news, last night was probably one of the worst nights. I slept in my office bed, bc I didn’t want to get Bubbey sick. In the middle of the night, Marty typically goes in and out of his doggie door. At some point, I was awoken by a sudden thud. I thought maybe it was an intruder. I called out to Bubbey who was in the bedroom. I asked if he heard that and what was the noise. He barely uttered a reply. For some reason, I started getting a little freaked out… But seeing as Bubbey went back into a deep slumber, I ventured out alone into the living room. I looked around and didn’t see Marty. But something felt or seemed amiss. I then heard loud panting. Marty had collapsed by the doggie door, and he was lying in a pool of urine with drool around his head. WTF. His whole body was limp. I was speaking to him and kinda saying to Bubbey that something was wrong and that something happened. Bubbey still didn’t hear me. WTF, dude??? Wake up!! Jesus Christ.

Having seen something similar with Remy in her old age, I suspected that Marty had had a seizure and collapsed by the door. He was so tired. Earlier in the day, he had seemed especially lethargic, but I thought it was from his lack of sleep and arthritis in his back legs. Maybe those were signs? Bubbey finally came over and he lifted Marty up and put him in his bed. Oh man. The only other time he ever had a seizure was when we gave him the flea med without food. Old dogs, I tell you. Shit, I hope he isn’t going down the Remy path, bc she started getting seizures in her final months and then in the end, she was getting them like multiple times a day. Eventually, she lost strength in her legs. Fuck.

This morning, Marty was back to his old self again– wagging the tail and trying to barge through the front door. Maybe it was the new doggie treats? Maybe the non-chicken meat I gave him?  Maybe this is just the aging process. My poor baby. I put him up in my bed in the office today. He slept like a baby.