Teddy Ruxpin

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Meanwhile, eBay and Rover and blogging are still happening. John’s last trip back East in August resulted in some additional items for my eBay store. Muhahah. I dunno what my deal is but, my eBay fire has def been rekindled. I mean, there’s just such an ease with posting shit for sale and then coming back 7 days later with the money deposited into your account and the shipping label ready to go. The integration with PayPal and USPS has really streamlined the process, and even though eBay and PayPal take fees, it’s still easier than fielding emails and dealing with flaky people who never show up to check out the item.

As for Rover, Bubble girl began her five day stint with us after we got back from Aspen. I mean, there’s no dispute: BG aka Teddy Ruxpin aka Kayla Bear is pretty dang cute. In fact, on seeing a pic of her, my gal K grew completely obsessed with this Pomeranian, which looks like a unique cross of koala bear + red panda + stuffed teddy bear. For me, I’m thankful the dog was a lot easier than what her comprehensive list of instructions from her mother might have suggested. Ultimately though, she just wasn’t not dog enough for me. It’s too weird having to be so damn careful about trampling over something in your own damn house. Plus, Ruxpin came with a shit ton of gear: a collapsible play pen (5′ in diameter) that practically took up my entire living room, plus a wire crate for sleeping in the bedroom, plus a carrier for the car. And let’s not forget the Whole Foods chicken (but “only a tiny strip at a time” to lure her out of her crate!!). Bottom line? Dogs in Silicon Valley are living THE life for realz!! In the end, all went well and Ruxpin was a cuddly sweetie pie BUT after five days, I was def ready to have my house back. He, he.

Winds of Change

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In my real estate books, there is a pair of words that comes up frequently in chapter quizzes and sample tests. Accretion is the gradual addition of land through natural causes. Its antonym is erosion, the gradual loss of land through natural causes. For some reason, with all the recent news of extreme weather, I’ve been thinking a lot about how quickly things can change. One minute, you’re moving one way along with the current, the next minute you’re tossed out of the fucking boat and completely disoriented. I guess that saying is pretty true: the only constant in life is change.

So a lot has happened lately. Mostly good news. Last month, after my friend M totally rocked her job application, Skype interview (while we were in Palm Desert), and onsite job interview, she scored a sweet offer for a higher position at a different public agency. Yup, after 11 years, she’s moving on. Up and up you go, my friend!

My other friend K recently got engaged and this unlocks the next phases of adulting for her. She and the beau are thrilled. I know, that only means more friends with kids in the pipeline for us (ugh). What can you do: the heart wants what the heart wants. JK. Haha! Meanwhile, my friend N recently sold her house, left a job, started a new job, and is now thinking about moving out of state after more than a decade in North Carolina. She’s coming to visit in two weeks and I’m super excited (and have a hefty list already planned out, of course).

Even when all the changes are good changes, for me it really reminds me of the importance of adaptability. Adaptability provides the backbone to progress. After I took the real estate exam prep workshop last Saturday, I realized that many of my steps in transitioning to real estate were sub-optimal. Bc of my fears and reluctance about returning to an academic setting (albeit short termed), I picked the more isolating self study route with online real estate classes, and I took the courses in series rather than concurrently. Also, I def obsessed about grasping the material sufficiently before taking the class exams whereas other people studied way smarter, meaning they understood they needed to just jump through the hoops and focus on getting to the next stage. It really wasn’t about understanding the content but just getting to the next phase. I mean, it’s fine: what’s done is done and I suppose I can view the slower route as a good way of training up my brain to memorize info again, something it really hasn’t done in a very long while.

Still, I was pretty down on myself for a few days. At the end of August, I had submitted my application for the exam date, Again, I just followed the very next incremental step based on info from the Bureau of Real Estate (BRE) website, but after I attended the exam prep workshop, I learned that I was actually supposed to apply for BOTH the exam date plus license issuance at the same time. Ugh, I picked the slower track once again!!! I’m hoping that the BRE will pick up their pace at the end of summer and hopefully cut the wait for both my exam date and the later step of obtaining the license, but we’ll see. I’m frustrated that I’ve kinda been “doing it all wrong,” but I suppose it’s also not the end of the world. As Bubbey has pointed out, there’s still a lot I can do during the waiting game, open houses, learning the neighborhoods, studying the area trends, etc.

I will say, in a minor attempt to recover from all my procedural mistakes, I emailed the instructor on Friday seeking his advice on how best to use the downtime from now until the exam date and license issuance. I asked him about internships and opportunities. I’m going to reach out to a few other real estate people I know to inquire the same things. I know, sometimes it’s downright awkward to ask for assistance, esp from people you barely know. But these are strategies I was taught during my time at the job training center: you have to put yourself out there. And to be fair, there IS a way to ask without sounding entitled. I truly believe that. And on the flip side, whenever a stranger reaches out to me for job advice, I happily oblige and pay it forward… So anyway, here we are. We’ll see how he/they respond.

 

Back to the Gym

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After Bubs and I nearly died gasping for air in Aspen, we returned home kinda scared straight. Time to get back to the damn gym and build up that cardio, right? J had been pushing to join Equinox in Palo Alto bc his sister S is a member of the SF facility. It’s super swanky and posh, it has the free Kiehl’s products and whatever. On the other hand, I was voting for the JCC bc I just used it in June/July as part of a Groupon, it’s cheaper, and it’s super close to home.

We toured both facilities last weekend, and the winner is the JCC! Woo hoo! I mean, the decision actually ended up being a no brainer bc the Equinox is just way pricey ($190/month pp!) plus they don’t have indoor bball courts or a dry sauna. And their pool is tiny. Add to that, a 12-month minimum membership… uh, sorry, not gonna happen.

So we’ve been hitting the gym every day since joining. For the first time, I tried circuit training on these machines called TechnoGym. Wow, super smooth, natural movement! What an improvement from the Nautilus machines of my college years! Another day we did the spin class– the first class ever for Bubs and the first cycling class for me. What a nightmare!! I do NOT like to work out to the point of exhaustion. For reals, this body’s got zippo endurance and stamina and while I want to become healthier, I’m not trying to be a ninja warrior or anything. Of course the instructor was super nice and helpful, getting us all set up in the beginning with adjusting the bike. Afterwards, she told us to come back within the week for class 2, bc if we give the body too much time off, it’ll have to start from scratch again. Huh?

I’m really disappointed bc I don’t think this form of exercise is for me (my ass got so fricking numb!!), but someone in the class said she lost 15 lbs. in a month from spin class. And J seems to like it, so I guess I’m going to try and be a supportive spouse. There’s a class scheduled for this afternoon, and I’m going to dig out my padded shorts (that I used before for horseback riding)… Ugh.

Goodbye August

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Monday was the one year anniversary of M’s passing. J and I went up to SF to visit S. She was meeting up with some people at the neighborhood bar, so selfishly, I was dreading a repeat of the 5-hr. drinking session with hoards of people… Luckily, the bar was super quiet with only about five people at our table. We chatted for a bit. M’s best friend scrolled through some pictures and reminisced. I honestly can’t believe it’s been a year. Time just keeps speeding on by.

S appeared well. Like I’ve said before, it’s nearly impossible to really know. Even in rare vulnerable moments, she’s incredibly composed. I often wonder where she derives this strength… so many times I see compassion, forgiveness, and gratitude in her where others might instead display anger, blame, and resentment.

She took the day off and went for a hike with some friends. After about 40 minutes at the bar, J and I headed back to her apartment. She’s redecorating again with fresh paint, new curtains, new outdoor loungers, a cool new coffee table. Like her sisters, she has a real knack for interior decorating. She also recently got a new car, swapping her super old SUV for a very adorable Cooper Mini convertible. That backseat is hella small, but what a fun and energetic ride! Her work is going very well. She continues to move up and travel a ton. I can’t believe the holiday shopping season is upon us again…

S’s life sounds really busy. I wonder how she has so much energy and positivity? Isn’t she tired? What can I learn from her to apply to my life, you know? I’m in a bit of a funk bc I feel like I’m less useful these days, esp since I’m no longer a part of a team or workplace. That said, I don’t miss the office politics and the whole autopilot of doing unimportant crap. I dunno, just need to get that license and get cranking.

My parents just got back from a six-day jaunt in the mountains via a Chinese-run tour bus service. Their itinerary started in Denver, CO and went through WY, SD, ID, and UT. Dad recruited his best friend and his wife from Ohio, so hopefully the four of them had a blast. Meanwhile, I did succeed in getting that pest control guy to credit dad the $70 charge. It took a few calls and texts, but I remained calm and basically reiterated that if traps were removed last July 2015 and no additional work/visits were done since, it really didn’t feel right to be charged for no services rendered. Another small victory for OnStar.

As for my real estate agent, things are kinda weird now. Somehow bumping heads over the August offer just didn’t sit well with either of us. I was also disappointed to discover last week that the house wasn’t posted on various platforms where it was supposed to appear. Back in July when the house was first listed, I’d received automated email/text notifications saying that the house was posted/advertised to several social media platforms. Then, when I checked FB, Twitter, Craigslist, etc. last week, I didn’t see it. WTF, people?!? The point of a project management system is to remind you to complete the tasks, not just check the box without actually doing the work! So I worked with the admin to make sure the house was posted at least on CL. But even after all that, the third open house last weekend yielded only one couple. I suppose that jives with what the experts say: open houses aren’t that helpful anymore bc most buyers do all their research online. Still, it’s hard for me to totally adopt that philosophy when our townhome in Reston sold via open house as did my grandmother’s house in Rockville. Different locales, different audiences maybe.

That’s the other thing: Walkersville seems like a whole other world. Based on my newbie research, there are like a disproportionate number of foreclosures in Walkersville. Argh! I guess the good news is that the open house couple is interested. They are in the process of getting qualified, so we’ll see if they submit an offer. Last week the previously interested couple came back (about 3 weeks later) with basically a repeat of their old offer. I thought that was odd, so I countered with my old offer thinking they were re-starting negotiations. I guess I should have gone back giving up more, but my agent didn’t provide any commentary, so my bad. We’ll see how things go the next few weeks. I dunno. It’s awkward not being on the same page. Live and learn, I guess.

The Bros

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Bubs and I are finally settled back into living with sufficient oxygen. Whew ee, our bodies were wrecked from four days in the high mountains! Of course, in typical fashion, I had shit booked in my calendar for the very next day. Yup, I was scheduled to get my “bros” (brows) touched-up and then I was doing a uke lesson.

So, I’m not going to beat around the bush: the brows touch up session hurt. Like more than the first time. The lady suggested there was greater sensitivity, bc she was going over old wounds but shit… I wasn’t prepared for that level of pain! I started the session telling my lady that I was super pleased with the shape. My only constructive feedback? On the left brow, the bottom part has a really strong line and on the right brow, the end was turning bluish. Apparently, she preferred the line bc it made my brow pop more and she explained that the color uptake depends on so many things: blood type, skin tone, sun exposure, creams, etc. Seriously, with so many damn variables, who in their right mind would ever be a permanent makeup artist?!?

So she started with the topical numbing. I dunno what the deal is, but it didn’t help. This time, I was so much more uncomfortable, that I was like grabbing my own hands and fingers to keep myself from writhing. I dunno. Typically, I have a really high pain threshold, but the damn eye area is sensitive as fuck. She applied more numbing cream like twice more. It got better but then there’s that scraping sound!! After all was done (35 minutes), the shape looked different. Oh, fuck no!!!!! I had my uke lesson, so I had to get going. I thanked her and drove away, hoping that the increased thickness was just due to swelling and that the new wonky arch was going to settle down. Ugh. Yeah, kinda stressful. After my uke lesson, when I got home, I was internally spazing out. They just didn’t look as good. She said she went right over the old one… did she change something? I was totally despairing, and then Bubs was asking me questions about all kinds of other unrelated things. Argh! I don’t think he realized how much it was bothering me. I was pretty much obsessed and distracted for the next two days.

Later, when I would ask Bubs about my brows, he just kept telling me they were the same as before. Wtf does he know though? He can barely even tell one Chinese lady from another?? Somehow, I managed to still NOT freak out externally. Why? Bc what is done is done. What’s the point? I’ll just have to tweak it with the pencil once everything heals over. This is the risk I accepted when I opted for this shit, so pipe the fuck down!

So now it’s like Day 4 post procedure. Thankfully, the brow thickness has indeed gone down. The arch has also come down a bit… I’m still not sure if the arch high point is exactly where it was last time, but now the scabs are flaking so I can’t jump to conclusions. Today the brows are itchy and bc of the uneven flaking, the color is more mottled.

Geez, did this happen last time? Yes, similar but not exactly the same. Maybe I kept the brows drier last time and now with our new gym membership and my freaking out, I’ve gotten them damp more??? Who the fuck knows. Like I said, too many factors with this shit.

Would I do this again? Yes, bc I still like the added drama of tatted brows. And I am def loving my record 5 minutes get-ready time. The arch/shape still remains to be seen. At worst, I might have to pencil just a tad at the tip of the arch to get it to hit exactly right. But for the most part, it seems like it’s pretty damn close. The other conclusion here? Tatted brows are not for uber perfectionists. There are simply too many variables; And I mean, it’s a high-risk thing, right? Bc beauty is like art and art is subjective. The good news is that it’s not SUPER permanent. I mean, 1-2 years on average, so not the end of the world if I’m inconvenienced with having to tweak it. But for some people, 1-2 years of imperfect brows might still be too long.

But back to my uke lesson. You see, I recently discovered this amazing community program called LinkAges. Developed by a local medical foundation’s “innovation” center (who knew such groups even existed?), the membership timebank idea emerged after many physicians found social isolation to be a major issue among the aging population. So the solution? Create a community where members earn/use hours for any service from other members. The concept is so simple that I’m like kicking myself with “why didn’t I think of that?” Duh. And bc the timebank is based on trading knowledge/skills, it’s not limited by age at all.

After attending an orientation earlier this month at the library, I made plans to learn uke. I showed up at the member’s house, and well, immediately on stepping inside the door, I knew this was a Chinese household. Sure, her name was a giveaway, but I’m telling you: the mandatory shoes off and slippers on (bare feet is not acceptable), the oak furniture, the overall lack of decor, the smell… the lady was super nice and patient. And I really appreciated her bluntness. She said she had gone to several community uke jams herself, but she had trouble learning the songs (old white people songs), so she formed her own group with Cantonese-speakers. She said she’d invite me but they speak Cantonese instead of Mandarin, and they play songs from their generation.

Yeah, that’s definitely been the problem for me in the past. I attended several uke jams, but the songs were really old school and not knowing the tunes was a real detriment, bc I had no concept of the pace or melody. S suggested that I sing while I play bc that will set the melody (like the guitar, the uke is really just the accompaniment). Man, it’s too bad my gal G is in Seattle. When she lived in SF, she’d at least pick contemporary songs for us.

All in all, the lesson was a great first experience with LinkAges, and I was happy to bust out my Yuki for the first time in like a year. Now I just have to find a new tribe for it. As for the services/skills I’m offering, they include be tech support, EFL tutoring, eBaying, and maybe NuWave/pressure cooking tips.

Love is in the Air (but O2 is NOT!)

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So Bubs and I were in Aspen, CO to celebrate our 20-year anniversary. We had visited Denver/Boulder several times in the past (Boulder was on our list of places to live), but we’d never been to Aspen. Of course, I was trying to clock in another trip on Southwest, so without a second thought, I booked to DEN figuring we would just drive to Aspen. Well, the trip started off rather rocky. As soon as we arrived, we headed to Fox Rental Car. For some reason, when I was booking our plans, rental car rates were through the roof. Like $800 for four days. I checked EVERYwhere, including my goto Costco Travel codes and nothing. Finally, a few days later, I looked again and I was able to get Fox through Priceline for $300. Fine. Booked.

Well, turns out, there’s a reason Fox is the cheapest. There was a monster line of people, with the wait being an hour plus to the registration desk and then another 25 min waiting for them to pull the car around. Un-fucking-believable. And even more unbelievable, not a damn soul lost his/her cool. Between Bubs and me, I am the calmer one in situations like this, so I did the waiting in line and talking to the rep. But still. It was so damn inefficient and chaotic, I could have sworn we were on a bloopers show. Whatev. Got the car, and oddly, I was the only one taking pics of the car. I mean, if you read the Yelp reviews, Fox charges an extra $150 deposit and many people have complained about not getting it back. Especially with rental car companies, I always take videos/pics of the car before and after. I need proof of the condition just in case. People looked at me like I was cray cray, but heck, when dealing with swindlers, you can never be too cautious about CYA.

Off we went. John researched a little pierogies stop. Seriously, I had forgotten all about those delicious morsels filled with potatos and cheese. John had to remind me that those frozen buggers were a staple in my grad school diet. Jesus, those days where the days when my diet consisted of sub sandwiches, beans/rice, hummus/pita, and these carb-loading fuckers. Damn, my young metabolism was fast. I piled all kinds of fatty foods into my piehole to no consequence whatsoever. All that brain activity just burned everything up. Haha.

Anyway, the drive to Aspen was looong. Not too bad as a passegner considering that I sleep well in moving vehicles. It’s the oddest thing: I have insomnia and cannot sleep in a normal setting but once I’m in a moving vehicle, I totally zonk out. As if I’m drugged. For real. And that level of delirium/drowsiness was even stronger on this trip. I could NOT keep the eyes open to save my fucking life! So surely, I missed all kinds of gorgeous scenery. Actually, it reminded me of our honeymoon in SF in 2003. John had rented a convertible and we were driving down Route 1 along the coast… I mean, the most beautiful drive, right? And shit, I could not stay awake. Fucking lame-ass body.

As we got closer to Aspen, the roads started going higher in elevation (Denver was already 5200 feet) and getting more windy. So of course, I get car sick with the headache and nauseas. I pop a Dramamine (later than recommended) and by the time we reach Independence Pass on the Continental Divide (13,000 ft), I might as well be drunk. We get out of the car, start walking the path to the scenic point, and holy fuck, maybe just 100 meters in, and I am feeling all this pressure in my upper chest. WTF is happening? Light-headed, dizzy, and gasping for air. Fuck it. Let’s get back on the road. We gotta get to lower elevation. That was pretty much the story of this trip.

Once we got to Aspen, it was beautiful and we definitely ventured out into the city, into nearby Snowmass Village, as well as to the famous Maroon Bells. But man, we had all these plans to rent bikes and hike around… nope. All thwarted. We did some exploring but goddamn, we were tired! And that hotel bed was amazing! Limelight Hotel. Awesome. With a bed even more comfy than the Westin bed. For reals. I wrote down the brand of sheets and all. We slept a shit ton. And normally, the younger version of me would be all pissed about that. But shit, as 40 y/os who have seen it all, fuck it. We’re tired and the bed is comfy. Just give in.

Of course, we still tried hard to take advantage of the amenities. Daily breakfast was included and fucking delicious: hot foods, cold foods, fruit, sweets, savories… everything. The pool and hot tubs were amazing… impeccably maintained without the usual annoying over-chlorinated odor. One of the days, we took out the hotel’s Audi Q7, which is available to guests for a 2-hr test drive. That was fun, esp considering our Fox rental car was a POS Ford Focus with zippo power going up the mountains. I know, the Fox guy tried to warn me and upsell me, but dude, I’m already dropping $300 on your shitty business. No way.

Another day, we rode the Aspen bus (so clean and pleasant and also FREE) to Maroon Bells, a famous set of peaks set in a u-shaped basin formed by glaciers. Super cool. We had planned to hike the easy trail around the lake, but it was closed due to moose activity, so kinda a bummer but it was also pretty great spotting two meese brothers. Not as up close as in WY, but still solid.

What else. I learned that Aspen is the most expensive town in the USA. Holy fuck. Anytime I travel anywhere, I pull up Zillow just to scout out real estate prices. Aspen had so many properties like consistently in the $10-15M range. Mindblowing. I mean, it’s def a cool old mining town, but I mean, the big city is so fricking far away… like 3 hrs! If it’s gonna be the most expensive town, it had better have good big city access and amenities. And the landscape was beautiful but I mean, it wasn’t Banff gorgeous or Grand Teton majestic… I guess we were also in the shoulder season. Maybe fall with the changing leaves would be more impressive on the global scale. Or maybe if we were winter sports people… Oh and holy crap, so white. I think the whole time there, I saw one black person and maybe four Asians, including myself. What??

Food was tasty but not blow-your-socks off good. I know, I sound like a lame pu-pu platter. I’ve just traveled so much that it takes a lot to impress me, right? Haha, what a fucking snob! Our anniversary dinner was at some fancy restaurant run by the chef of Nobu. As John’s sister commented earlier, a mountain town with no Asians is probably not the best place to eat sushi… and well, touche. To make matters worse, bc I had an alcoholic bev at the French bistro for Happy Hour beforehand, I think the altitude sickness got triggered again by dinnertime. And unfortunately, we had to rush out of the sushi place bc I seriously thought I was going to barf. I know, I swear to God, we are being taped on the Truman Show. Only us.

Our journey back home was another laborious ordeal. For the entire 3-hr drive back to DEN, it poured rain. We were just feeling so tired that we decided to go home early and try for the earlier flight. Well, Southwest was gonna charge us another $300 pp to hop on the earlier flight so that was a no go. Instead, we hung out at the airport Westin and then walked around the airport… for like 5 hrs. At this point, we were still having labored breathing. So the moral of the story for us? We aren’t rated for high elevation. And it’s time to hit the gym to strengthen our cardio. I mean, the books all say altitude sickness can affect all kinds of people, from young to old from athletes to non-fit people so maybe it’s not a reflection of our physical fitness. But regardless, we’re scared straight. Peru and the Inca Trail is off the bucket list until we can train up our bodies. In the meantime, it feels damn good to be back home breathing all this abundant oxygen again!!

Next Round

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This evening I took my third and final exam for my series of online real estate classes. Again, all week long, my test anxiety was building up… after I had returned from Palm Desert, I vowed in my head to take the final exam before jetting off to Aspen. Well, here I am late Saturday night/early Sunday morning, and I got ‘er done. Yippee!

I immediately printed out the state license exam application and even though I still have TONS to memorize for the real test, I’m thrilled to just arrive at this next round. I still have my doubts and worries and confidence issues, but like at the Splashtopia water slide, I can’t let those fears stop me.

Meanwhile, my side hustle continues to grow: I scored two new clients this week. Two adorbs munchkins belonging to a lady in MV who was getting her carpets replaced… Her babies– a 13 y/o pudgy poodle named Bubbles and a 7 y/o Yorkie named Pikachu (I always accent the second syllable instead of the first)– came over for two days of daycare, and they were very fun. I just had them yesterday, and already the mom has written me a rover review! Yay!

Last week I also did a (very long) meet and greet with someone who’s boarding her 12 y/o Pomeranian after we return from Aspen. Based on the meet and greet, we have another case similar to Bubble Boy, but I think once the pup’s in my care, it’ll all work out fine. Those helicopter parents, though. They are hard. core.

Bubbey also returned from MD on Thursday. He brought me some more items for my eBay store. Muhaha. I also had some remaining credits to burn with ThredUp. Got my third shipment yesterday: all three items look great. I’m telling you: I cannot bring myself to pay retail for clothing now. This second hand shopping is a game changer for sure.

Ok, time to hit the sack. Morning flight to DEN. At least I can sleep well now that the class test is done! Woot, woot!

We Survived 115!

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So I had about $100 in Southwest flight credits set to expire on August 18. Given that I had already been traveling quite I bit, I was just about ready to let that shit expire. But then, you know me: if there is a deal to be had, I do NOT relinquish my Bubbey Bucks easily. Thankfully, I came to my senses just in time to make a quickie trip happen. Yup, Bubbey was back East but I sent Marty off to the sitter, and my gal M joined for a last minute trip to southern California. Yup, SW had been running some great sales, so why not? We flew into Ontario and hit up the Omni Resort in Palm Desert, just east of Palm Springs. I mean, there’s a reason why tickets to the desert are cheap right now: temps were 115F, reaching over 90 by 6am. I pride myself in being quite the salamander, but holy mother of God, that desert heat was no fucking joke.

We were refilling our water bottles nonstop and we STILL couldn’t stay hydrated. We def had our bouts of mild headaches. That said, it was great having two days of R&R by the resort pool. M researched the hotel, and it was a solid find (although she was still disappointed). We played our little cheapie games and scored a room upgrade to lake view. The grounds were immense, complete with their own golf course plus like 3 different pools including a water park called Splashtopia. To our initial dismay, the place was kinda mobbed… something about it being the last weekend before school started up again. Damn kids, right?

Still, that wasn’t gonna stop us. We hit up the water park in the afternoon. I mean, the lazy river was kinda warm bc of all the bodies in the water, but we tubed for a bit, then climbed up for the slides. I’m telling you: I come from a family of people who don’t know how to have fun. I was never a big fan of amusement parks, add to that my recent fear of heights… as we went up the stairs to the top of the slides, I watched the kids fly down the slide. Shit, that thing is windy and fast! I mean, didn’t a kid just get decapitated on a slide? I started getting really stressed standing in line. And then right before her turn, M turned to me and said, “Well, if something happens, it was great knowing you. Have a nice life!” Oh shit lady, you did NOT just say goodbye as I’m internally freaking the fuck out.

I suppose one of my good qualities though is that even when I’m scared or uncomfortable or uneasy, I try really hard not to let those negative energies paralyze me. I’m up? Ok, it’s go time. So I flew down that damn slide on my back (how are people able to sit upright the whole way down??), zipping through the twists and turns and then at the end, I got dumped into the pool. I mean, I’ve never been a strong swimmer or a person comfortable in deep water. So I did NOT have the wherewithal to hold my breath. In other words, I ate it big time and got a shit ton of water up my nose and down my throat. Whew. Glad that’s over!

Of course, just my luck, M LOVED it and immediately started clamoring to go on the other slide. Fuck, really? Ok. Same drill. Meanwhile, I’m watching all the little kids and they are having the time of their lives. No fear.

Well, like they say, “Fake it til you make it.” Again, like a dumb ass, I gulped down a ton of water at the exit. In retrospect, there were seconds of the experience that were kinda thrilling, and I’m glad I did it. But shit, I was so ready to return to the adult-only pool!

Later that day, we hit up the supermarket and picked up some snacks and munchies to chill out on the patio. The sliced cheese melted pretty damn fast and sweat got into my eyes, causing them to burn. Jesus, I got too many problems!

All in all, it was a short getaway, but we still did a lot. Esp if you consider how our bodies were just trying to survive in the deadly heat. I can’t believe that John and I used to have Palm Springs on our list of possible places to live. No more. Bc shit: I cannot live in a place where, should my car break down or my power goes out, I could DIE in a matter of minutes or hours. That level of hot is crazy dangerous.

That said, for vacay? Hellz yeah. It’s a decent destination for an escape, maybe just not during summer. We enjoyed several tasty meals, browsed around in a few shops (plus the outlets), and most importantly, clocked in some serious pool time… all while chatting away nonstop. Oh and if you can imagine: M even prepped for a job interview and then did the interview over Skype! Without skipping a beat. Hehe. Good times, for sure.

Conflict Management

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I have to say, one of the most challenging things about adulting is conflict management. Sure, I’ve had a lot of experience growing up with my crazy Chinese family, dealing with their steady stream of unsolicited radical honesty, but I dunno, conflict with family is always different (at least for me) from conflict with the world.

I mean, it’s no secret that I have a temper.My mother always explained that she was super stressed and unhappy during her pregnancy with me, so Vicky the fetus got bombarded with negative hormones and juices. Yep, I practically bathed in that shit. In my father’s younger years, he also had a really short fuse… So I guess you could just blame genetics.

Needless to say, my family has always triggered the worst behavior in me, with well, what I would describe as fits of rage. In the working world though, I always managed to keep my temper in check. It probably helped that the triggers were less inflammatory and the issues were less personal. Still, no matter how often conflict has found me, it still makes me uncomfortable and nervous and uneasy. I may appear outwardly calm about it, but inside, it’s just eating away at me. Curse of the overthinking mind, right?

So yesterday, I had another restless night. First, I kept hearing noises and I just felt somewhat fearful and quasi-unsafe. Like mentally, I was freaking myself out about an intruder or whatever. Then I was stressing again about my real estate class and how I’m behind schedule and how am I gonna get this shit done and how am I gonna be an agent. Fucking self doubt.

This morning, my realtor called at 8:30a. I immediately rolled out of bed and answered the phone trying to sound like I’d already been up and running for hours (!!). He basically called to revisit our last conversation. For 15 minutes, he urged me again to drop the price more and re-engage the last interested party. Back and forth, we went. I talked about new properties in the neighborhood that just got listed (they’re listed even higher), the open house scheduled for Sunday, how my grandmother’s house sold for asking after sitting on the market for months… He just kept saying I should trust his expertise, and a deal shouldn’t fall through over $2k. The whole time I was reluctant but finally, I agreed to an “attempt to re-engage.”

After I got off the phone, I kept replaying that shit in my head. Why is he in such a rush? Why do I feel bullied? Later in the morning, I talked to Bubbey. He said it wasn’t about trust or questioning the agent’s expertise. It’s a disagreement on the market value. The agent says one thing. I say another. But J reiterated that the agent is my representative. He can argue his case, but ultimately, it is MY decision. And that’s where I need to assert my position more strongly. Bubbey, man: world-class EQ, I tell you. His point was good one, and I think part of all this stress is that the conflict and style of exchange has been bothering me since last week… But J was right. It’s not an emotional thing. I put in money for the renovation. I’ve been managing this property for years and in the end, I want top dollar for it. End of discussion. Whew. Are you feeling my growing anxiety over here? The good thing about me? I do what has to be done. I will have the conversation or discussion that no one wants to have (e.g. Eating disorder intervention, alcoholism intervention, what have you).

So I emailed my agent. Yes, a call probably would have been better but it’s past 5p over there and I’m better in written form. So I stated my position more strongly and now, the ball is back in the agent’s court. Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, my dad called this afternoon bc he got into some feud with the pest control company. Long story short, last summer, there was a squirrel problem at the townhouse, so dad signed up for pest service. I guess the seasonal plan auto-renews, which he didn’t know bc he didn’t read the fine print on the back of the contract. So this July kicked off the new season and dad got a bill. He called the corporate office. Then the local office. Then, the local manager. They argued back and forth for 20 minutes, and my dad claims the guy said “fuck you” a bunch of times and then hung up. So who gets called in to resolve this issue? OnStar of course. Ugh.

So I call the guy. He’s hard to understand bc he mutters, his voice is low, and he’s in the car. He explains and says the charge was for take down service after the new season started and my dad called to discontinue service. So I just say that I want a copy of the work order and tech invoice to see what was done. Then I say, yes, the auto renewal was on the contract but no one fucking reads a contract esp when the vendor is standing there in front of you waiting on your signature. They should really give people a heads up like hey, the new season is starting next month and you are on track to auto-renew… Anyway, he agrees to send me the work order files after he gets home.

And then, I call him out on being rude to my dad. Fuck yeah, I did. I just said, I know sometimes it’s hard to communicate with someone whose native language isn’t English but there’s no need to be rude and unprofessional. Then he explained that he’s Hispanic (doh!!) and he doesn’t have issues with different cultures but my dad kept cutting him off and wouldn’t let him talk, so after 20 minutes, he said he had to go. Fair enough. I mean, my mother is NOTORIOUS for cutting people off. My father not so much, but if he thinks you are ripping him off, he can get argumentative. As for the cussing, was the dude saying “stop” or “fuck.” I don’t know. I apologized for dad cutting him off and please send me the work order. At most, not a huge deal. Dad would be out $70. I mean, some people might just pay the $70 to be done with this bullshit, but you know, part of it is the principle of it. Auto renewals are always super sketchy and I mean, if you’re yelling and/or cussing at my dad, that’s not cool either. So it got worked out, but that kind of interaction is fucking stressful as hell. So now I’m totally drained.

Time to pet my doggies and then try to salvage the day with some studying. Quickie trip to Palm Springs kicks off tomorrow (I had Southwest credits to burn!). Woot, woot!

Squalor

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Martin’s been doing pretty well these last few months. I swear, the presence of my Rover pups– even if they don’t interact that much with Martin during their stay– works some kind of magic on him. That said, with him being as old as he is, magic only carries us so far. Yep, things are definitely starting to break down with poor old Marty. In recent weeks, I’ve noticed that he is SUPER slow getting himself situated in his bed. He twirls and twirls and then finally just flops over. In his sleep, he’s been wetting his bed a few times a week. During the day, his back end falls down at the slightest bump or touch. When he stands to eat from his elevated bowl, his front and hind legs slide all around beneath him.

Cognitively, he’s slowed down a lot. But damn, he still gets so excited and happy to go for our walks. Sadly, he has trouble controlling his bladder: there’s like a continuous stream of urine on the sidewalk from our house to the park.

The morning of our flight to LA, he shit in the house for the first time since like the early 2000s!! Yeah. I woke up all bleary-eyed that morning and walked into the kitchen. John was already up, watching tv. I looked at him, and he said, “Well, that happened last night…”, and he pointed to a drippy pile of shit on the green mat next to the front door. Mind you, at this point, Bubs had already been up for hours. No matter. He just left the poop there. Nice.

That’s the thing about Bubs. He’s a total wuss when it comes to bodily fluids and anything remotely related to black water. Every damn time, his defense is that he leaves that shit to the “solid waste expert.” Um, I haven’t been a solid waste engineer since 2001, dude. Sigh. What can you do: that’s my Bubbey.

Remember that time when I was home alone and both bathrooms flooded? Yeah, when I told Bubs what had happened, he was so relieved to have NOT been home. Had our roles been reversed, he would have just left the premises and posted the house for sale. I know, thank goodness we don’t have kids, right? Can you imagine? They would just be hanging out in their diapers chock full of urine and feces. I’d be horrible in my own way too: I mean, you know I would be overstretching the use of each and every one of those plastic, super-lined fuckers. Diapers are THE worst: they remain fully intact and last FORever in the landfills. Just sayin’.

So anyway, while we’re on the topic of bodily fluids… this other time? Martin puked on the carpet. Bubbey’s solution? He ripped off a few sheets of paper towels, folded them over into a square, and then patted the squares right on top of the puke. Just covered it up with a paper towel and continued about his day. I removed the paper towels today, thinking it was just a random cleaning square that the wind blew onto the floor. Nope. Puke stains underneath. Are you disgusted yet by our squalid conditions?

Anyhow, now that Bubs is back East for a few days, I’m taking the opportunity to do some more cleaning. Today I actually replaced all the floor runners in the house. The other day, we came across some cheap runners at Costco, so today I came home with like five of them. Not a very chic look for the designer Houseboat, but at this point, with Messy Marty and Queasy Bubbey, we just need something practical and cleanable. The grip on these new runners is amazing btw. Vacuuming was a total breeze!