The Feet Tell It All

So I treated myself to a pedicure today. I haven’t gotten one in a salon in probably a year. It’s one of those things, like getting my hair cut: whenever I think to do it, it’s in the middle of the night and the salons are closed. When the places are open, I don’t have a reservation and can’t be bothered to wait. I know, I’m that self important, right?

My job entails a lot of taking my shoes on and off, entering staged homes, decrepit homes, and everything in between. I really try to keep my toes somewhat presentable but some days, it’s just all about good enough. That means, yes, oftentimes I just repaint over my existing polish. So today the nail tech is like removing the old polish, and she’s uncovering multiple layers of old polish beneath bc they are all different colors… SMH. I know, it’s embarrassing. Hey though, be glad I’m not using Sharpie markers like I did before.

I started my session ordering the basic pedi. But bc I wear shoes without socks, my heels are literally rough and scratchy with flaking skin. I know, pretty darn nasty. The lady suggested callous removal. Her comment didn’t shame me or anything, but I quickly agreed to upgrade to a spa pedi. I mean, either she cleans me up or I gotta go home and put the foot filer gadget to that scratch pad, and at this point, just get ‘er done.

The thing is, my feet are like the canary in the coal mine. They are an indicator for something far worse. For example, in the last several months, my skin had continued on its rampage to hell, with humongous boils throbbing on my chin. That k-beauty stuff, as much as I had placed my faith into it, was not helping. I mean, yes, they softened the cheeks but it was fucking Mt. Fuji everywhere else on my face! I dunno what I was expecting: I had been eating a bunch of fried foods and frozen foods; I wasn’t getting any sleep; I was skipping meals left and right… I mean, I was basically neglecting and abusing my body (for MONTHS/years) and already, it wasn’t a strong system to start with…

After I went into contract on this latest real estate deal and the deposit went into escrow, my body finally crashed. I got a few days’ worth of sleep. And the damn boils finally started calming the fuck down. John and I have also recently started drinking a breakfast probiotic shake, something I’d read about via a fashion blogger I follow… it’s crazy but as soon as we started on the program, John’s has gone to the gym every damn day. And we seem to feel better. I even went back to the hot yoga studio, for the first time in probably two years. I mean, I dunno if probiotics get all the credit on that one. Like I always say, “nothing like an expiring Groupon to kick my ass into gear.” Haha.

In other news, Bentley seems to be settling in. I think the pheromone room plug-in that my friend suggested is helping him feel safe and more confident. He is also eating more regularly. Strangely enough, I don’t think he’ll ever be one of those dogs who scarfs down his food, (WTF?!?!?), but he is showing improvement. We are taking him on a road trip to Santa Barbara later this month before he has to get neutered. Fingers crossed that he’ll do ok going into a clinic environment again. Honestly, I’m a bit worried about it, and John has already suggested NOT getting him neutered at all but… this shit’s happening.

Progress

After the empty class incident, I was feeling in the dumps. Big time. But then, my crybaby antics started annoying me. Seriously, with all the privilege I have? Shut the fuck up. Look around. Watch the news. People are struggling everywhere. I am not entitled to anything. I do not “deserve” anything. Life is not fair, so shut the hell up and find another way.

A few days later, I didn’t score an open house, so I decided to spend the day Saturday previewing homes in San Jose. I saw maybe 5-6 places, introduced myself to the listing agents, met a few new loan officers, etc… On my drive home, my Chinese buyers called. A few days prior, I had emailed them saying their budget didn’t match their criteria. In other words, you can’t get new construction, large lot, and all Level 10 schools in the areas you want for what you’re wanting to pay. This is what’s out there for your budget. If you still insist on NOT adjusting your criteria, this is what you can get for the next step up in price. Boom! They finally saw something they liked in this new price point. I was on the phone with the list agent the same day. After five days of VG-style, full-on, due diligence, we are in contract. Yippee!!

I will say, Chinese clients are a unique profile. I mean, you know about the intensity that is my family. Chinese immigrant parents. Enough said. Oh but add to that, the parents live out of state, and the home is not for them. Add to that, California real estate transactions are totally different from their experiences elsewhere. Add to that, their oral communication is strictly in Mandarin. Add to that, they are a family of engineers who like to plan a gabillion steps ahead. You get my drift. Nice people, and the mother is especially opinionated and expressive, which is a good thing when you’re conducting a home search. It was a ton of work, and the responsibility of the transaction weighed heavily on me. But I feel really good and very proud that my special style of research combined with my open communication with other players in the transaction ultimately got my clients what they wanted. We are early yet, and as I always say to Bubbey, “It’s not in the bag until it’s in the bag.” Still, my clients are thrilled and I’m happy. We’ll see how this week unfolds.

No Shows

The last time I wrote, I was about to host my fourth homebuying class. Bubbey was all worried about no one showing up, but given that at least SOMEone had turned up at all of the last three times, I thought it was a an unlikely concern. Boy was I wrong. That day, the weather ended up being awful: cold, windy, rainy. I had invited a guest speaker too– a tax preparer who had created slides and everything for her talk. I had 7 people registered, and even now, days later, I CANNOT believe zero people came. It was awful. I mean, yes, I had already done my PowerPoint from before, but I dunno, there was the set up, the lugging of snacks and drinks, the handouts, the folders, I had prepped a new tax info sheet… all for nought. And then I felt so embarrassed for my loan officer and the guest speaker who had spent their time to do this with me.

When I texted him that no one came, Bubbey texted back a picture of Bentley. And he wrote “we love you and we believe in you.” And then my eyes started welling up… I mean, after seven long months (since my last close) and hustling most of the time along the way, how long is my family going to stay here just to battle it out, to fulfill my desire for “success”? John’s sick of the Bay Area, it’s bloody expensive, we don’t take advantage of half the amenities of being in Norcal… what is this all for? The tears stayed in, and somehow I managed not to cry in front of my loan officer. The tax preparer jetted as soon as it was 10 minutes past. But after I got home, I really felt like, “What’s the fucking point.” Just cash out on the house and move on already. Yet another failed career. Chock it up.

I mean, maybe all of this sounds overly dramatic, but damn, I felt like shit. I thought I was getting closer with the increased activity and the traction from the Iranian agent, but two months in, it wasn’t going anywhere. All action, no progress. The negativity was hitting an all-time high.

The Whim of Others

As you probably can guess, one of my favorite aspects of my new career is the control: I get to make all the decisions related to how I want to run my business and where I want to focus my energies. The shitty part, as I’ve mentioned before, involves lead gen and related to that, dealing with people. Seriously, I encounter THE worst kinds.

For example, the other day, my friend saw a For Sale sign in her neighborhood. Thinking that it might be an opportunity for her out-of-town parents, she asked me to look into it. I learned that it was a probate sale requiring court confirmation. My coach was attending a conference, but I called him to get the low down on how that stuff works. Sometimes, things can be a little complicated when involving the attorneys and courts. He gave me some thoughts, and I reached out to the list agent. Mind you, all over the listing, the agent wrote to call him for details about the process. You know, like it was complicated and needed explanation. I had been out and about, so I emailed him first asking for whatever info he could provide. I told him I would call the next morning. He replies with three lines: cash only, court date, bids above XYZ, vacant.

So Saturday rolls around, and I call him around noon. I was very polite. Do you have a few minutes to talk? Yes. So I start asking him about the protocol, including why the offer has to be cash only and how is the bidding done. I throw out what my coach says just as a starting point to confirm the accuracy, and then the agent cuts me off, saying my info is all wrong. I ask him a few clarifying questions, and he says, “Do you have a managing broker? You need that person to train you up on this. I’m not going to train you on my time.” I just say a few more words and then he cuts me off and says, “I’m done. Have you even seen it yet?” No, I was planning to see it tomorrow. “Call me after you see it.” Click.

He was so incredibly rude. I looked him up afterwards to see where a bastard like this comes from, and he was a former director of the CA Association of Realtors. Say what??? I mean, I get it. Time is precious and I probably should have read the special probate contract before calling, but I thought it would just take a few minutes and I wanted to glean some additional info about the sale. Nope. Could NOT be bothered. I mean, Jesus Christ. As a former director, he could at least be professional and nice. Just tell me you’re busy and advise that I contact my broker for more details… Sheesh. I was so annoyed by this behavior. And yet, what can you do. I have to just shake it off and move on. Part of the job. God, what an asshole he was!

Meanwhile, I’m still working with four buyers. All of them all over the damn place. Seriously. One day, a buyer’s adult daughter tells me he’s in the market for duplexes in Santa Clara County, $1.2 to $1.5M budget. Less than 24 hrs later, scratch all that: The Dad actually wants a mobile home. I don’t want to be elitist or anything BUT mobile homes are an entirely different beast, bc they are not real property. They are like vehicles. And the budget is $200-$300k with mobile home parks as far as south county.

I’ve been going out to see places with my other buyer. Never sees anything he likes. If there is something the slightest bit interesting, personal stuff keeps coming up (he has a newborn) and we never proceed to reviewing disclosures and writing an offer.

My third buyers are the Chinese couple from out of state. They keep wanting what is simply not in our market: new construction, large lot. I keep sending them the new actives, and nothing interests them. I ask if they want to alter their criteria. No, we want to wait.

Finally, this morning, they contact me about a new listing that’s new construction but smaller lot (so they ARE modifying their parameters). It opens tomorrow with all the disclosures posting then. By this afternoon, they say, forget it– it’s close to the Caltrain. I suggest another new construction in Menlo Park. What about this? What about a third new one in Mountain View? Nope. We wait. So here I am, two months of hard core hustling (still dealing with my cough, btw) and still at Square 1. I’m so frustrated.

Tonight, I have my second homebuying class of the month. For the first class, eight people registered. Three came. People think just bc something is free they can blow through shit. It’s way inconsiderate, but then again, I dunno why I would be surprised. Tonight’s class has six people registered. It’s been cold and rainy. I texted people to say I look forward to seeing them… we’ll see if that does anything. I called John and he said he’s all stressed out for my classes. I was like, Huh? Why are YOU stressed? Bc it’s so much work and prep and setup and then no one comes.

I mean, it IS demoralizing. My second class last May was like 30 minutes past start time and NO ONE showed. I was about to cry. Now I feel ok though. I mean, I do have to schelp folders and handouts and drinks and goodies and all that. But at least I pretty much know my slides so it’s not like I wasted weeks rehearsing. Fingers crossed tonight will be a decent turnout.

Revelations

Earlier this month, after working with Bentley on his fear (he’s been hiding under the bed anytime he suspects an ear treatment or something similar is up my sleeve), I had to take him back to the vet for the second booster shot of the canine flu vaccine. I decided to fly solo on this mission bc Bubs was out of town and in anticipation of a bad experience, I figured it would be better to associate this with just one owner rather than both. He entered the lobby and exam room just fine. It was a different vet team that day and having gotten the memo, they asked me to put on a basket muzzle, which he let me do. But then he started getting worked up again. They couldn’t give him the shot bc he kept thrashing around. Ultimately, two other techs came in and had to pin him down. It was an overwhelmingly emotional sense of helplessness and despair. Why is he doing this? The panting, the thrashing, the barking… immediately afterwards, they let me remove the muzzle and he willingly took treats from their hands. But I was… I dunno how to describe exactly… but a little afraid but mostly just out of ideas on what was happening and how this was going to be a resolvable issue. I started crying and the staff tried to comfort me by saying that he wasn’t trying to harm anyone: he was just scared. Yeah, but why is he so scared? It just didn’t make sense. Is he crazy? They said he wasn’t trying to bite them; he was more bark than anything. It was like they were trying to console and convince me that he didn’t have bad intentions.

It was a bizarre experience. Afterwards, my thighs were all scratched and bruised. I had been wearing a dress and boots. I didn’t even feel the marks he had left in the moments of going ballistic. But I thought to myself: this must be what it feels like to have a special needs child– one where you don’t understand and you can’t communicate. But just in a matter of seconds he goes from calm and fine to 100% unrecognizable. I thought of our nephew C and how as he got older, the mounting frustrations of not being able to communicate, manifested as violent and sometimes destructive outbursts and behaviors. I thought about how scary it must have been for his parents. And I kept thinking to myself: what am I gonna do with this?

The staff gave me pamphlets and brochures on fear aggression and training and desensitization. I had read up on that previously. I mean, was the answer to keep taking him to the vet for treats? Build a relationship with one vet and one team? It all seemed so unreliable. Is he not supposed to get regular checkups and treatment? I mean, shepherds are notorious for health issues… he will NEED to get medical treatment throughout his lifetime. I went home exhausted and defeated.

Later that day, I spoke with my friend N, the vet. She said you know, there are meds you can give him to take the edge off. I dunno what I was thinking, but that option hadn’t even entered my brain. Well, duh. Yes, I will need to take that route. Is it a shortcut? Probably but you know what? I don’t know that I’m that convinced on building a relationship with a singular vet. I mean, that seems like a major time sink with not enough flexibility. What if she leaves the practice or isn’t on call the day we go? The reminder of a drug option gave me some comfort.

Oddly enough, later that same day, his previous owner texted me. How are things going, etc. I texted that he went ballistic again at the vets. Any insights? No. He never liked the vet or shots, but he never displayed fear aggression. Hmm. Then, lots of back and forth: she sent me his baby pics. Then, a picture of him wearing a cone collar.

That’s weird. What was that for? I’ve only seen those used for post-surgery. Oh when Bentley was living with my ex, he went missing for a few days and was found with a broken leg. It required surgery, he has a pin in his leg, and he was in confinement at the vet for more than two weeks. Ummm, yeah. That MIGHT just constitute a traumatic event, don’t you think?

I mean, I’m a gullible person, so I never think that people are concealing information from me. But Bubs adds that since we got him, it’s just been one extra tidbit after another that doesn’t quite jive. For example, he was listed as 2 y/o on the website. Turns out he’s 4.5 y/o. Then they gave us a bag of dry food. He wasn’t eating it at all. Turns out Mom made homecooked food for him. Then, no aggression issues/trauma and he actually broke his leg! I mean, dunno. Shit happens. There are a lot of details to relay to the new owners. And maybe for some people, these would have been dealbreaker issues that would have prohibited him from getting into a good home. I don’t honestly know. They aren’t dealbreakers for us, but certainly, we’re both engineers: we like to be thorough and comprehensive with our information, you know?

I still think she was a good owner who loved him very much. She tried her best to give him a safe and stable home. And I’m sure the surgery cost A TON, which is not easy for most families. J feels like they have lost credibility. I still choose to like them and honor them. After all, they gave us Bentley. And even with his issues, Bentley is a good boy and we feel lucky to have him.

Sick As A Dog

Well, I have now been sick for over a month. Fucking A! It all started at the turn of the year. Picked up the flu when I went to the doctor for my wellness exam and flu shot. Learning from my past lessons, I did not delay and contacted the doctor as soon as the symptoms came on. Went on Tamiflu. Then, at week 3, still had a lingering cough and still fatigued super easily. Called the advice line. Doctor prescribed five days of Zithromax antibiotics. Another week later (week 4, if you’re still keeping count), STILL coughing (dry cough) and still tired as fuck. Add in stuffy nose and sneezing fits. Yesterday, I called the doctor again. She insists that her constitution is like mine: she gets sick a LOT and for a long time each incidence. She thinks the cough is lingering bc now with the hot weather (yes, it’s been high 70s– unseasonably warm), our allergies are getting triggered, which makes recovery from the flu/cold take longer, plus the throat/nose are irritated. Ugh. It really is a pain in the ass getting tired every few hours. I know, this damn Year of the Dog has got me sick as a dog.

Meanwhile, my Peruvian posse visited last Saturday and left yesterday morning: this time 3 adults and 2 kiddos (4 y/o and 1 y/o). Due to work, which has been picking up like a mofo, I mostly just saw them for breakfast and dinner. Still, it was a good visit. I’ve hung with P’s youngest sister several times but this was the first time meeting the eldest, on her inaugural trip to the USA. They are super duper whirlwind travelers: In 15 days, they are doing SF, Vegas, and Disney/LA. All by car. Makes me tired just thinking about it.

Btw, I’m happy to report that our tiny houseboat has a sustainable carrying capacity for five adults, two kids, and one polar bear. I think I’ve finally got the Houseboat on a system where stuff is clean and things are relatively organized. My office/guest room is looking pretty good. Last year, I got storage cabinets and drawers for my work files so the paperwork is organized (mostly); the CB2 Lubi lounger is working out well as an expandable guest bed; and the room is really bright and colorful. My latest addition is a purple rug that I picked up for free two doors down. Who knows what it was used for previously, but my neighbor is a retired realtor who has a beautiful home, so I’m going to assume it wasn’t a shit-encrusted rug.

John also rearranged his desk recently so now his office is way bigger. We were able to fit a monster air mattress in there for my friend P. The babies were incredibly good. I mean, the 1 y/o is super active and gets into EVERYTHING. His poor mother is exhausted! Our home is not kiddie-proofed at all, so suddenly, all my remotes and coasters and decorative pieces ended up high up on the fireplace mantle. But those kids. SMH. They left the house for SF touristy activities and were out ALL DAMN DAY, like 12 hours?!?!?! I mean, not to be judgey but how come some kids can only last 2 hours max? Is it the kids or the parents? I dunno. But again, all of this just re-enforced how happy I am to NOT to be a human parent.

That said, Bentley is having his quirks. I tried to switch him to 100% dry food and he went on a hunger strike for days. WTF. I mean, it’s like a test of the wills over here, and it’s not pretty. Bubs made me cave after two days so I threw in my Rover dog’s canned food that was left with us. Argh. Fine, now I’ve ordered some canned to mix to go with the dry. Fucking picky eater. I was wanting the all dry food diet to keep his teeth clean… guess I have to pick and choose my battles with this special needs dog.

Also, he is still exhibiting trust issues after I had to do the ear flushes. He’ll let me do it still (now only weekly instead of daily) but he still tries to run away and he whimpers about it. Big baby. Then there was an incident where the 4 y/o was petting him and then she was going to brush him. He lied down all submissive and then suddenly barked and growled at her. I’m telling you, that’s going to be my biggest stressor– his unpredictability. Sure, he’s only been with us four weeks. Still. I mean, he’s at a size where he can really hurt someone, so after that, I am being hyper vigilant.

I mean, from what I’ve read, with fear aggression (vs. territory or possession or dominance aggression), he will try first to run and hide. The barking is also a signal to leave him alone. With other forms of aggression, the dog is more dominant and confident and will attack/provoke but… still. I just feel like I can’t let my guard down. I have to watch for his body language and signals. Thankfully, the girl was hardly even phazed. I was so surprised that neither she nor her 1 y/o brother were intimidated by Bentley’s size.

I’ve been reading up on dog training. That shit sure has changed in the last 15 years. Maybe it’s similar to how much parenting has changed: it’s all about desensitization + positive reinforcement for troublesome scenarios. No more training where you rule through fear.

Milestone

I scored a pretty big milestone recently. You know how one of my approaches to my biz is to build peer-to-peer relationships by reaching out to stranger real estate agents and offering to host their listings open? Our office encourages new agents to do this, but they recommended asking only agents without our same brokerage. But I cast a wider net and ask everybody and anybody. For many months last year, I’d been on a roll, hosting an open house nearly every weekend I was in town. My colleagues and loan officers would ask how I was hosting so many, and I explained that at the start of every week, I reach out to 20-30 agents asking to host. If I don’t hear back by mid week, I text. If I still don’t hear back, I call. To me, this is just regular follow through. But everyone I told this to has been so surprised that I would go through so many steps.

Once I get the open house, I submit reports immediately after so the list agent knows how things went. And I drop a handwritten thank you card in the mail. Again, my people shake their heads, telling me I’m doing way too much. Well, that’s just how I work. And I am finally seeing it pay off. I mentioned earlier how having a great relationship with my coach led to me getting this gig with the Persian agent.

Then last Saturday, while I was attending a meetup event on the new tax laws (doing research for my upcoming seminar…), I got a call: a Chinese couple from the East Coast toured a property that I had hosted open last year, and they were very interested. Originally, they wanted to work with the list agent/builder directly, but he doesn’t do dual agency (where one agent reps both the seller and buyer sides), so he gave them my number. I mean, this is a HOT lead from an agent who only knew me, bc I reached out and hosted his property a few times.

The call actually came from the couple’s son, who wanted to make sure I could speak Chinese. I set up an appointment and met the couple the very next day. The entire night before the meeting, I couldn’t sleep. I was SOOO stressed, bc they are maybe ten years younger than my parents, so they understand English but really prefer to communicate in Chinese. I was worried about my level… should I ask my native-speaker friend to accompany me? What do I do?

Then I remembered a recent conversation I had with a Chinese agent in my office. He had asked if I worked with Chinese clients, and I said I had but that most seem to prefer working with a native Chinese speaker. He told me, not necessarily.  You shouldn’t feel intimidated about working with them. Then he mentioned another agent in the office who is Chinese-American like me. He said that guy works with tons of clients using his non-native Mandarin.

I’ve actually heard that guy’s Mandarin. It’s ok– the pronunciation is kinda wonky. He’s probably the same level if not worse. It was one of those, if he can do it, I can do it moments.

So the next morning, the couple shows up. I had been hoping their son would accompany so I could speak predominantly in English, but no such luck. Thankfully, the conversation went fine! I told them various scenarios and tactics for winning bids. And they very willingly signed the agency disclosure documents AND the buyer-broker agreement. At the end, the lady commented that my Chinese was pretty good. Hurray… so now I have legit, committed buyers!

Angel at Home, Devil with the Doctor

Well, it seems I may have issued a premature verdict on the Yeti. Sweet, gentle, and lovely at home and with my other Rover doggies. Then we went to the vet this past week. He was fine walking into the hospital, getting on the scale, etc. Then, we got into the room, the tech said hello briefly, and then as soon as the thermometer went into the butt, he got super startled and aggressive and panty. In total, we were there for an hour with people coming in and out. Eventually, we had to muzzle him and then they didn’t have the right fit… it was a disaster and a half. I mean, in all my years volunteering at shelters and being around dogs, I’ve never seen this level of aggression. Ok maybe a few times. But the Yeti is a strong mother-fucker. So we left and basically, nothing beyond listening to the heart was done. He let me swab his ears which have been smelly, so now we know he has a yeast infection in there.

We went home and I was frankly, emotionally destroyed. I mean, aggression is a tricky issue to handle. It’s not so much the specific scenario, but the unpredictability of it. Now maybe I should have noticed the signs: he was cowering, trying to get away to the corner of the room. He was fearful… so he was telling us he was scared. I dunno. It’s the tough love part inside me, where I’m not going to be inconvenienced with a dog who can’t handle being touched, you know? It sounds like a foolish, overly image conscious stance but I dunno. I just feel like the deal with a pet is this: I love you and give you a good life but you have to trust me enough to know I won’t hurt you. Granted, he’s only been with us for two weeks so maybe that trust bond was tested too soon. I don’t really know, but I guess part of the confusion surrounds him being previously owned. It’s not like I don’t know his history, right? He seemed totally well-loved and was acquired as a puppy, so where is this coming from?

The doc sent us home with ear flushes and drops, which have to be administered twice a day. So now I’m the bad guy at home and he runs off to hide under the bed. It’s neither funny nor cute, bc well, I take doggie meds very seriously and I’m not about to play this ridiculous game of chasing him down to do what’s good for him.

John says he doesn’t trust us now and we shouldn’t push him. I’m not going to coddle and baby the dog!! He has to get the treatment. Already, at three days, his ears are way better so after day 10, we can stop. See? This is why I could never be a human parent. I’m already like, “fuck you, you’re getting the shot/treatment. I don’t want to hear any crying about it.” I doubt this method works with any modern-day parent. And I don’t really know: it could make things with Bentley worse. With Remy and Martin, they were reluctant but eventually, they would just acquiesce and tolerate it. With Bentley, he’s much more stubborn and obviously, he’s bigger and stronger. The vet was visibly afraid when Bentley was acting up.

I think the other reason I got so down about this is because it’s just another case of you just never know. I mean, all those stories in the news about family dogs attacking their kids… I used to think those people were just oblivious or inexperienced or whatever. But I see now and actually, I’ve seen it elsewhere if I take a hard look. My vet friend– she had pit bulls growing up. Super sweet. Lived with cats. But there were multiple incidents where they tore into other dogs. There is that disconnect between what you yourself experience with them (they were so cuddly and friendly every time I saw them) and then what can happen in a split second. I had a neighbor once who said he and his girlfriend merged households and doggies. I’m not sure how long they were living together and then one day he came home and her boxer had killed his dog. So again, shit happens and you can never be totally sure. And that’s a new reminder/reality that I just have to keep in mind. I will not leave him alone unattended with my Rover clients. Carla the whippet goes into my office and then Bentley stays out.

But mainly, I’m just frustrated about the ear meds. I did all this reading on vet aggression after the incident. So many stories of dogs that are the gentlest, sweetest souls EXCEPT at the vet. One guy has it so strangers can touch the ears and paws and everything. No issues at all. Then, at the vet, a totally different beast.

On a separate note, you know my deal with buying meds/treatments through the vet. Again, I get it: they have a 24-hour brick and mortar facility. I’m willing to be some premium for their extra costs. And after that whole Bentley freak out ordeal, I just got whatever meds: flea/tick control, heartworm, ear flush, ear drops. I just wanted to get out of there pronto.

A few days later, I was just curious and checked online. For the same exact meds, vet was $120. Online was $85. Another one: vet was $120. Online was $100. Ear drops: $55 vs. $34. Come on, people. That is egregious. And I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, bc I saw this with Martin and his lactated ringers. The thing is, nowadays I have no hesitation having awkward conversations. I called up the pharmacist. Do you price match the online pet pharmacies? I know you have a facility and I’m ok to pay some premium, but like $100+ difference is a lot. She gave me some crap that bc the invoice was already charged, they can’t do a price adjustment but they can match prices in the future. So then I said, I haven’t opened the tablets. Can I return them then. Yes. So basically, I went in, returned, then re-bought. The lesson here? You HAVE to make the ask. Can you imagine how much people could save if they asked for the price match?

Of course, I took the opportunity to make the return visit a teaching moment for Bentley. We took him to the vet hospital again. He was totally fine: no anxiety in the front lobby, got on the weight scale, hung out. So the issue really is being in the room and feeling trapped then being approached by probing strangers. At least now we’ve narrowed the issue down some. Anyway, it’s a work in progress…

Like today. He’s already run under the bed a few times and I haven’t been able to do the ear flush or drops. I’m going to try again now. Wish me luck!

Teacher’s Pet

Recently, I was starting to feel frustrated about my “long way” of doing things. You see, while I was pouring all this time and energy into studying the details– be it reading the disclosure documents for every single home I hosted open, or looking into nuances in the contract, or asking questions about one-off driveway maintenance agreements– my colleagues were booking appointments and getting listings. I was starting to think that I was misdirecting my focus. Somehow, I was doing it all wrong. again.

Granted, my style has always been on the detail-oriented side. When I took the DISC personality test, my number 1 trait was dominance– getting shit done. But I also have a thing for data/details/minutiae. I want shit done but done right, so that means I want to know what I’m talking about. Studying the details and understanding the why gives me confidence and decisiveness. Anyway, I was starting to feel sorry for myself bc honestly, I was spending more time and not really gaining traction. I mean, how many times had I prepped all the offer paperwork in anticipation of submitting the offer only to get to the end and have the client decide NOT to submit on the property?? Yes, part of it was that I wanted to have the docs ready to go at a moment’s notice. The other factor was that I wanted the time to cross all the t’s and dot all the i’s. Btw, all along I was meeting with my coach weekly, and I’d always show up with a bunch of questions.

Long story short, I caught a break last week! My coach called me and said the office was trying to recruit an agent– a top performer at another brokerage. In their conversations with the agent, he revealed that one of his problems is having too much work and not enough help. In the past, he had hired an assistant and added members to his team, but they never worked out. As a way of offering him a solution, my coach and the office CEO offered to refer him to some newer agents who could assist. My coach wanted to recommend me!! Say what???

Yes, I was thrilled. For one thing, I mean, my coach works with about 50 agents, and he said I came to mind. Yay. I was so happy and grateful that he thought of me. He said that I ask a lot of good questions, and the agent wanted someone who’s a good researcher. Yeehaw!!! So the thing is, in general, when you start off as a new agent, you can 1) join an existing team as a buyer’s agent and basically get leads handed to you. But you earn a salary (not commission) or 2) start on your own and get your own business. The reason I started my first year with option 2 is bc my coach said a lot of times the teams have retention problems. When you join as a salaried staff with a specific role, you end up basically doing all the grunt work without much compensation or room for growth. So my coach suggested that agents learn more about the business doing it on their own… I also liked the autonomy of option 2…

However, now that I’m a year in, I feel more confident about the transactional details but I could use some more leads! The cool thing about this new opportunity with this agent, let’s call him R is this: he’s happy to have my help on a case by case basis. This allows me to still do my own thing and build my biz. So essentially, it’s the best of both worlds: he gets the help he needs; I get some leads to build my experience and confidence and earnings!

After I told my coach I was interested, the office CEO wanted to talk to me before passing my name along. That phone screen cleared. Then, I waited two days and no word from R. So I got his info from the CEO and called him up. He is a delightful, jolly Persian man, a bit younger than my dad. He was so happy I called. We scheduled to meet later that day, and bam, he was keen to get started right away. Gave me the first client that day!

And I have been cranking out the property searches and info fast! In the last few days, I’ve delivered him info for three different clients. Each time, I compile all the info, disseminate via email, follow up with calls… and he’s like Santa Claus every time I talk to him. He’s so pleased and happy. Everything I give him, he’s like “Perfect. Very good. Excellent.” I’ve learned a lot too, about commercial/investment properties. Also, watching him make calls… He’s excellent on the phone– has incredible rapport. Then again, he’s been an agent for 30 years, so his clients come back and trust him. It’s amazing to witness what that relationship looks like: They seek his feedback. They listen to his recommendations. There’s respect. They’re willing to drive 90 minutes just to meet with him. It’s seriously been so eye-opening. And dayum, I’ve missed the validation and acknowledgement that comes from being productive and helpful and valued.

Looking back, this experience is a reminder of just how detrimental my disappointments have been on my psyche. The rejection and lack of response and rudeness of people was kinda screwing with my soul. And now doing these small tasks has filled my bucket again and given me renewed energy and resilience to continue building my business.

New Year Updates

In other news, Bentley is adjusting beautifully. To be honest, I’ve been super surprised by the ease of transition given that he’d previously been living outdoors for a year. The first day we brought him home (last Tuesday night), he had some spraying issues but just that first day. No other potty problems since, no destruction, no anxiety. We haven’t left him alone for extended periods– just a few hours here and there. He does this weird thing that I’d characterize as “self-soothing.” Yeah, do I run in yuppie circles or what? He just whimpers for a few seconds and then stops. Yes, we watch on cameras everywhere.

The downside to Bentley is that he is def XXL. A LOT of dog with tons of fur that is quite unmanageable and is literally floating around everywhere in my house now. It’s a tough situation for someone trying to keep her home “Airbnb ready.” Sigh, a compromise we have decided to make. Also, Mr. B is not neutered, so I gotta get that scheduled and done. But he is so very gentle and so eager to please. And I mean, not to throw Rems and Martin under the bus, but Mr. B is smart. Like at the level where if you don’t set boundaries and stay consistent with the training, he could potentially organize a coup de tat and take over control of the Houseboat. Just sayin’.

I think J really enjoys having a big protector breed. Bentley is really so big (70 lbs.) that I can’t imagine people will want to fuck with us anytime we’re out with him. Also, he is very systematic about patrolling the yard and keeping the rodents away. Critters have been hollowing out the oranges on Bubbey’s trees, so finally, we’ll get to enjoy the fruit.

What else. Many years later, I finally made the switch back to Verizon. I know, Bubs will tell you I dragged ass on it for an inordinate amount of time for no real good reason. I have to agree. As much as I admired the rebellious image/branding of T-Mobile, that shit just did not offer enough coverage. There were also some shady experiences with the company. So I’m back on Verizon. I made sure to return the cell booster to the store this time (and get a receipt and the rep’s name), so I wouldn’t be charged $410 for supposedly NOT shipping it back.

I started making calls again yesterday. While I was on my deathbed (with a sore throat and crap voice), I missed a number of calls. No messages were left, but using reverse lookups and callerID, I determined that at least one came from my farming postcards, which I mail out the first week of every month. So I call the lady. She answers and I introduce myself, saying who I am and that I saw she called. She was so. rude. Yeah, I’m no longer interested bc you didn’t answer the phone. Um, I’m sorry, but I was sick with the flu all last week. Yeah, well I’ve moved on to other agents. Oh well, have you signed an agreement? No. Oh, then I’d be happy to answer your questions…. the conversation went on but she was just so pissy that I didn’t answer my phone at the exact time that she called. I mean, nevermind that I was very ill. I could have been in the bathroom, meeting with a client, doing any number of things… and mind you, she couldn’t even be bothered to leave a message. But me losing her business was MY FAULT bc I was lazy. That’s seriously what she was insinuating. She then said she was at work and very busy. I offered to call her back at a more suitable time. I’d be happy to meet in person, as I also live in MV… she basically hung up. And this was so upsetting to me. I mean, sure, we all have shit days. We all get into bad moods. But Jesus. The attitude, the apparent disrespect… I am honestly astonished by the number of adults living in this world who behave and interact like children. And yet, I am supposed to build a thicker skin, give the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she’s just rough on the edges, as people like to say. She has a home to sell, and I at least want to interview for the role of selling her home. I wrote her a card and I’m going to follow up.

On the up side, I called a guy I’ve been in touch with since summer. Originally, he said he’d be keen to meet in the new year to discuss working together to find his family a home. He was very pleasant and spoke openly. But they are bowing out of the market. It’s just still too high and too competitive. Honestly, I don’t think the market is going to change anytime soon (like in the next year), but I have to respect people and their choices. This is def not the market for people who are wishy washy or uncertain. You gotta decide and then go full speed ahead. We’ll see what other interesting characters I encounter this week as I get back to business.