Halloween in May

Well, I got ghosted again. It’s my own damn fault, bc before the Italy trip, a few places in my hood came on the market. So being the follow-up kind of person that I am, I reached out to that couple who rents in my hood. I had met them at an open house I hosted back around Christmas and they ghosted me back then.

This time, I thought might be different. And twice, I made the ask to work together. I turned them on to one home on their same street and they said they wanted to submit an offer. I took the call from Italy even and made arrangements. Then, when I sent them the paperwork, no response. at all. Yup, ghosted again. Apparently, it’s Halloween in May over here. Smh.

Even John was so shocked by how unprofessional these white-collar, tech workers are. I mean, who operates like that? and with their neighbor, of all people? They said they wanted me to work with them on the offer. Then, once again, they just pumped me for info and then never replied to my voice mail, texts, or emails. The lesson learned? Real estate is seriously one of THE most disrespected professions ever. People not only have zero loyalty, they have zero respect. They think it takes nothing to buy or sell a property. Never mind ALL the paperwork and legal docs and the fiduciary responsibilities. It’s disappointing and annoying. Since then, more properties in my hood have come on the market, but I refrain from contacting them. I’m done with folks like that. If they won’t show some respect, I will have to respect myself and not work with flakey people.

Restless in Italy

John and I were in Italy at the end of April to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. I know I’m a total anomaly, but to be honest, I was reluctant to spend 10 days away on a European jaunt. I don’t expect anyone to understand: when I’m in work mode, that’s just all that I want to do!

Needless to say, Bubbey is the sweetest hubs out there. Normally, I do all the travel planning from flights to hotels to arranging dog care… but this time, Bubs did EVERYTHING. I mean, it all started bc he’s had the travel bug (big time) for the last year. He’s always trying to maintain his United Premier Gold status. So he got wind of some super cheap flights to Rome and everything snowballed from there. Like I said, I’m a workaholic. Part of it is that I just like to work. The other driving force is that well, you know, I feel a lot of pressure (all self-imposed) like I am running out of time to demonstrate/achieve professional success. I know, my friends have told me that I am successful, and maybe in some masochistic way, I keep moving the target or changing the criteria. The bottom line is that I don’t feel like a success. I feel blessed and lucky, but not successful on my own accord. I mean, I’m not going to delve into it now, but it’s been a lifelong struggle that stems from my upbringing with my parents and my own mental state. But at some point, with John being so excited to travel, I did check myself. This life isn’t just about me. He’s on the journey with me, and I realized that I need to still nurture our relationship and water the flowers, bc I know that life is short.

Anyway, my point is, I acquiesced to an Italian vacation. I know, there was a ridiculous amount of arm-twisting and I’m not proud. But the trip was great. I mean, I think I’ve learned by now that any kind of European travel will never be restful. There is just too damn much to see, with all that history. Also, I’m a lazy-ass American, so all that walking really wore me out. We stayed in the same hotel the whole them to minimize fatigue (still didn’t work) and then planned a day trip to the Amalfi Coast. Beautiful, beautiful place but OMFG, the traffic and crowds are insane. Same deal with the Vatican. Supposedly, it is the world’s second most popular tourist destination (first is the Louvre), clocking in 35k visitors/day on average. In peak season? 55k people IN ONE DAY. I mean, it makes sense: everyone wants to hit up the key places, but goddamn, it just makes the experience kinda difficult, you know, like is the juice really worth the squeeze? I dunno: John and I are people of very low tolerance so…

Also, who the hell knew that I would get sick of pizza and pasta, like ever? I know, roll your eyes! I’m rolling them at myself. First world problems, SMH. I’m just sayin’.

Beyond the travel logistics, holy fuck: that Roman history and ingenuity is something else. How the hell were people back then so fricking smart? It seriously blows my mind. I mean, aqueduct systems, plumbing, construction, engineering… that shit is incredible. On the negative side, I suppose you can get a shit ton done with slave labor. Shrug.

[FAG id=7384]

Brenda the Bulldog

Needless to say, I was pretty bummed out by the turn of events. And then I started stressing out, worrying about completing more transactions before my June office anniversary. When I get discouraged, I always lose some amount of time wallowing in self pity. And then I get sick of my complaining and climb out of that bullshit and try to reflect and think strategically… you know, like really think about what I’m doing wrong and where I can improve…

That’s where Bubbey’s worldclass emotional intelligence comes in. I mean, he always has pointers, but some are def more helpful than others. :). Thankfully, since he chaperoned me last Sunday, he witnessed my interactions and gave me feedback on how I could respond to people’s common excuses. Like if they say they are early in the process, I used to respect that and tell them, it’s helpful to be prepared early but whenever they’re ready, let’s talk. Instead, Bubbey says I need to give more push back: tell them a story about how I see a lot of people who think they are early on. But then they suddenly see something they really like and bc they aren’t prepared, they’re scrambling around trying to submit an offer. That strategy is fine for other markets, but not for this one, where properties go in 7-10 days. It’s never too early to get organized. There’s a lot involved– not only with getting a vetted preapproval, but also in organizing your proof of funds, drafting your letters to the seller, and just being focused and serious with your search. I can help, blah, blah.

I know, Bubbey’s got valid points, right? So this week, I busted out my script books again and I spent some time writing out more detailed responses to these scenarios. Luckily, last weekend’s list agent reached out and offered me the Sunday open house, saying the seller was reducing the price. I agreed.

While I was setting up a half hour before open time, a couple came early… argh, I hate when that happens but like I said, I never turn people away. They looked and then I practiced my new spiel. They said they were early, I explained it’s never too early to get organized, we talked for a while, and then at the end of ten minutes, I said, call me when you’re ready. I had been concentrating so hard on doing my talk and capturing their data (where they are looking, how long, specs, etc.) that I was all thrilled to get that far…  but then at the end, I didn’t make the ask for the appointment or the strong ask to work together. So John gave me those tips today. If the conversation is going well, make the ask again and maybe they’ll be more inclined since there was good rapport. He also said I should focus less on matching them with a lender to get preapproval and more on how I am going to help them save time and money with the homebuying process. See? He’s so damn good.

So the next couple that came in, Bubbey went out for an errand and I tried again. Did the whole dialog and really built rapport, but the lady was preggers and due this Wednesday. She did seem convinced that they needed to get serious about the process and that they’d work with me. I followed up afterwards via email and the hubby replied positively so… I took that as an improvement in my execution even if the baby is mucking up my timeline. 🙂

All in all, I got three solid leads today. All Stanford doctors (two hubby-wife physician couples!) and I talked with them for a good 10-15 minutes. I told stories and gave examples… it was really interesting bc afterwards, I realized that my conversations with visitors are very similar to all the shit I prepared when I was participating in ProMatch and training up for job interviews. I had to develop all these answers to questions– and the responses had to be concise yet illustrative to demonstrate my capabilities. It was such a weird epiphany but it made me really excited just seeing the common thred.

After the open house wrapped, I had a meeting with another lady whom I had met back in January at an open house in MV. You see, I recently discovered this new tool. For the longest while, I’d been following up with people via email and phone calls. My emails would get opened but no response. The calls rarely went through to a live person and if I left a message, no one ever called me back. Then, I was thinking so many people have an iPhone. What if I input either their number or email, and see if they have iMessage?

With my Chinese speaking leads, I was thinking that maybe my English emails and vm were a turn off. Or oftentimes, I wasn’t even able to leave a vm. So somehow I got this idea in my head that I could use iMessage to record an audio message and send it. Then I could see the delivery/read receipt. I started recording messages in Chinese but the problem with that was I had to record a new message every time. I needed something more cut/paste friendly. So then I transitioned into sending them text messages in English but I added a line in Chinese saying that I speak Mandarin. And coupled with the QPush tool, I was cranking those babies out. Then, I kicked things up yet another level.

When I send out my eblasts (2-3x/month), the software tracks the opens and clicks. The thing is, people always say they aren’t seriously looking or they aren’t interested and YET the tracking data shows that they are still CURIOUS about the market. I get a really good open rate for my monthly updates (stats on home sales and median prices)!! Same for my open house announcements. So now what I do is look at who has opened, and then within an hour or day or whatever, I send a text via iMessage that basically says, “Hey, thanks for reading my real estate emails. The market is moving fast. My buyers just got a house in XYZ. I can help you win too in this competitive market… let’s talk. Btw, I speak Mandarin (in Chinese characters).” And let me tell you: I am actually getting responses!?!?! Sometimes even from people whom I had previously been pinging via email for MONTHS! Sometimes they tell me they already bought. Other times they are not currently looking to buy but they admit they like the emails. And sometimes THEY AGREE TO MEET.

Yeah baby, Brenda the Bulldog is tenacious like a mother fucker. And this iMessage thing is useful, bc now I know these people are reading my stuff. And it’s a way to remind them of who I am so they get another imprint that VG is a realtor. And when they share tidbits, I get a sense for how warm the lead is and I update my database accordingly. See, I am made for keeping tabs on peeps!! You might as well call me Facebook or Cambridge Analytica, beotches! Just kidding. I do no evil. 🙂

But let’s be honest. Out of LOTS of texts, I only got like five responses. Still, two of those five ended up meeting with me in person. And I figure once I start texting people every time they read my emails, they will either unsubscribe from my email (which helps me shed the bloat anyway) or respond in some way to either meet me or get me off their back. That’s my latest strategy anyway, and I’m thrilled from the results this week. More innovations and work hacks to come. Stay tuned! Muhahahaha.

Hot N Cold

Well it’s been another several weeks since my last posting… what can I say, my life is a fucking roller coaster. For some reason, the lyrics to Katy Perry’s Hot N Cold song come to mind:

‘Cause you’re hot then you’re cold
You’re yes then you’re no
You’re in then you’re out
You’re up then you’re down
You’re wrong when it’s right
It’s black and it’s white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(You) You don’t really want to stay, no
(You) But you don’t really want to go-o
You’re hot then you’re cold
You’re yes then you’re no
You’re in then you’re out
You’re up then you’re down

Here’s the deal: I’m telling you. I encounter all kinds of people in my new line of work. This month, housing inventory went up significantly (spring is here!) so I returned to my bread and butter– open houses. Of course, it never gets easier. Every week, I run my search on Monday and start emailing about 50 agents one by one. I reach out to more people now bc fewer are saying yes. I know, there should be a more efficient way to automate this shit, but I have a template and then I manually update various fields within the text with the agent’s name, the property name. etc. Anyway, yeah, I reach out to a shit ton. Then, by midweek, I check the status on those properties and see if 1) the status has changed or 2) open house hours are posted. If they are still active and no hours are posted and I didn’t receive a reply, I text the agent. Yup,I look up their cell, add it to my phone contacts, and text message. Again, cut/paste replacing certain fields. I actually found an awesome tool recently called Qpush that’s a browser extension: I type my message in the browser on my laptop (I’m so much faster with a full-sized keyboard) and then the app “pushes” the paragraph to my phone into an app that easily lets me copy/paste. Not that you give a shit about these logistics, but I used to craft the message by thumb typing into the Notes app and copy/pasting into SMS. Too. slow. Anyway, Qpush– check it out. So back to the open house hustle: if I still don’t get a reply to my text by Thu/Friday, I call the agent. Eventually, I get someone who’s keen on my idea.

So last weekend, I hosted for a Menlo Park property for a husband-wife brokerage. MP is in San Mateo County (higher median home price) and I’ve only hosted a handful of properties there. My past open houses tended to be in the crummy parts, and my traffic/leads sucked. Not so this time! This spot was wedged between a busy Safeway shopping center and the Stanford Mall!

The list agent offered me Saturday. It was slow I think bc it was the last weekend before taxes. She was going to host the next day but then she didn’t feel like it, so I offered to host Sunday also. Like I’ve said before, I always try to co-host with a lender. Mostly for safety reasons (Dad STILL calls me to tell me not to leave the house at night and to carry my mace everywhere), but also bc I view it as a good opportunity to build lender relationships. If they get leads from me or my events, it’s a good thing for all of us, right? Unfortunately, my main lender has only gotten 2-3 loans from all my open house leads since we started collaborating last August. I’m telling you, this numbers game is a beotch. Anyhow, since Sunday was last minute, I didn’t line up a co-host and I had to ask Bubbey. He doesn’t like to be a fly on the wall at these things, but he’ll do it. And lemme tell you: thank goodness he did. Bc a weird, frazzled looking guy came upstairs. He just had a strange look– bug eyes and crazy hair– and he didn’t take off his shoes like the sign instructs at the door. And then he rambled on and on telling me the stoop was dirty and I should be better about making the home presentable. Mind you, it was super windy and so yes, there was some leaf debris on the stoop. So this was like his Good Samaritan tip and then, oh btw, he’s a successful equities trader and serial startup entrepreneur AND he’s also trying out for the Warriors NBA team… Mind you, he hasn’t practiced bball in six months… blah, blah. I asked a few more questions, only bc I was certain there was some real estate point to all of this. Nope, he was just random. And later, Bubbey said I need to be more careful about engaging with crazies. So here’s the deal: he was harmless but I am so relieved I was NOT alone. The house is on a super busy street so to make it more appealing to visitors, I keep the windows shut so it’s quiet. But that also means, no one would necessarily know if I needed help…

Last weekend was slow but I was thrilled at the time to pick up two leads. One elder lady came by. Honestly, she looked like an old Asian grandma– you know, weathered, small, and carrying tons of shit in plastic bags. She was actually a Filipino lady and she was timid, but before she headed out, she told me she had multiple properties to sell. I booked an appointment for the following week right then and there!  My first actual booking done at an open house! Yeehaw. We made an appointment for Friday. I was so excited.

So first thing on Monday, I call her to ask for the addresses: I want to do my homework so I can prepare for our meeting. She starts reading off the addresses, but it was hard to hear her with all the background noise on her end. I told her to email me the list. I texted her my email. A few hours later, she calls to say she doesn’t have email and she’ll drop off the list at my office. Huh? No email??? Next thing you know, she comes to the office and she says she took the bus. Huh? Homegirl supposedly owns FIVE properties in Silicon Valley and she’s taking the bus? So she shows up and I’m telling you, she is carrying so much stuff, including a 10-inch stack of papers in a plastic bag, plus two fleece jackets. My instincts are telling me this woman is impoverished. Her hands are super cracked and dry. What is going on???

We sit down to go over her list. She furnishes a bunch of deeds plus paperwork for a divorce, a bankruptcy, and a death. I look up the properties one by one on the computer. Her name is on NONE of them… As I probe with questions, I uncover a very complicated web involving her deceased father, her siblings, her ex, her ex’s family… nothing is adding up. I ask to scan all the files, so I can review them more closely and also I’m thinking I can provide her with e-copies so she doesn’t have to lug that shit around. She says she has no access to a computer.

I tell her I need some time to review the docs and then we can go from there. She tells me she has to go to work after our meeting. She works at Safeway. I offer her a ride. I also offer her a fabric bag so the plastic doesn’t eat into her fingers. I offer her water, ask if she needs to use the bathroom. No to everything. She says she’s fine. I walked her out and then I just sat there in disbelief. That’s the thing with this business. One minute, someone tells me they have a $1.5M budget. The next day, the budget is $150-200k. This lady? One day she has five properties to sell; the next day, there’s no proof that any of them belong to her. After she left, I felt awful. Why didn’t she just let me give her a ride? She looks like someone who’s endured. I really wonder about her story.

After combing through every page, I consulted my mentor. Yeah, she needs an attorney. Then I got a call from the lender whom she also contacted. The lender said she wanted her to share account info for her deceased father. But no docs show power of attorney or designation as administrator… In other words, she has no proof of decision making authority. The lender tells me this doesn’t make sense.

So I call the lady back and her phone goes straight to voicemail. I tell her I need proof– like a power of attorney or document showing she’s the trustee for her father’s estate. Then Thursday arrives and still no word. I call again and leave a message saying we can’t proceed until I get those docs. For now, let’s cancel Friday’s meeting. No confirmation from her.

Finally, on Friday morning, I’m like: what if she shows up– taking the bus and lugging all that shit? I go to the office just in case she turns up. Our meeting was at 11. I go there and then at 11:45, she calls and says she is walking up and down the street, and she can’t find my office. What??? Clearly, she didn’t get the voice message and also, what does she mean she can’t find my office? She was just there a few days ago! OMG, what is happening?

I meet with her again and explain the same things. She says she doesn’t have a lawyer. So I look up area legal aid groups and some resources for her. The story just is so bizarre. I wanted so much to help her but it was beyond my scope. I asked to see her phone, bc I was curious why she hadn’t gotten my vms or texts. It’s a shitty Trackfone and she never has it on! In fact, she still hadn’t listened to my message or read my texts. I mean, how will I do business with someone without email and without a phone?

Off she went again. I really pushed to let me give her a ride, but she refused multiple times. Was it pride, shame, or the habit of being a loner? I dunno. I really wonder about her situation. It sounds like her ex screwed her over and there was a lot of deception and manipulation. But I dunno. At the same time, her claim that all the deeds are fictitious or false also seems unlikely. I asked if she had a good relationship with her siblings or anyone on his side or her side of the family. I felt like I was missing something and maybe one of them could provide some clarity. But she said she didn’t have good relations with any of them. She thanked me and said she would find me again after all the stuff got cleared up. I sure hope one of those legal aid groups can take on something this complicated. The whole thing was mentally exhausting. I mean, not only bc of the roller coaster for me workwise, but more bc I just don’t know if anyone will/can help her. That poor lady. Life really is unfair.

That same open house weekend, I was packing everything up to shut down. And as usual, a couple came wanting to check out the house. Ok, fine. The lights are all off and all my shit is packed but I never turn down a possible lead. It’s a Russian couple with a baby. We chat and then I ask about their search. They basically say they aren’t working with anyone and would love to work with me. I offer to set an appointment and they say they need to check their schedule. So the hubby gives me the wife’s number. I call it so she has my number on her phone. I tell them I’ll follow up to set a date/time. That was Saturday. On Monday, I call the number and it’s another one of those bullshit “vm is not set up” things, which I’m beginning to think is some indication they have blocked my number and that’s what I get on my end when I call. Still, I naively send a text message. It shows it delivers and that she reads it. No reply. I send a few more texts with dates. No reply. Now I’m pissed. WTF? You said you wanted to work together. Why bother if you don’t intend to follow through? So I do research and find the hubby’s name and contact. Same deal: call the number, send a text. Same shit. And just like that, two great leads come to an abrupt end.

Sickness Prone

Oh shit, I forgot to tell you that the household had a recent bout with norovirus. Well, I don’t know if that’s a medically accurate statement, but let’s just say, last month, Bubbey had many days of upset tummy and sick poopies. Yes, that’s the technical term. This went on for days and then he flew back East to do his mom’s taxes. I went about my merry way until a day later, I got the runs! I mean, I had multiple delicious meals in a row– and no one at work seemed to suffer any negative impact. But goddammit, I had to cancel an open house and then I was holed up in bed for 2-3 days. At the time, I had Buster over too, and the dogs were like WTF is happening? This person is the lamest, laziest person ever!!! And of course, as my track record would attest, every damn time I felt a little bit better, I would push it too far and fall back into a nauseous mess. This went on for like an entire week. I’m telling you. My dad was calling on the daily trying to get a medical update, like fever stats, stool description, meds, everything. Jesus, dad. I’m gonna just ride it out. I’m not taking fucking notes for you on this.

Eventually, it seems my Achilles heel was my impatience (big surprise). I mean, as soon as I felt any tiny bit of normalcy, I went back to eating shit: dairy, cheese, spicy… yeah, I didn’t follow the BRAT diet. at all. I mean, in my defense, some sites did say the BRAT was too strict, but yes, I agree. Surely, that didn’t mean I should eat a bag of potato chips and down it with ice cream and soda. What can I say, it was many moments of weakness, and I was famished. Desperate times, desperate measures.

Around the same time, when I checked in with Bubs in Maryland, his mom ALSO got nauseous and sick! Was it something about Bubbey and his food prep/handling methods? I don’t want to be accusatory bc after all, he is literally the hand that cooks all my meals and feeds me, but…. I’m just saying. I suppose anecdotally, something did seem to be going around nationwide, no?

I’m just glad that the worst is over. I’ve been food-poisoning free for the last week, and life is good. Now if only I could be well the majority of my days in 2018, that would be freaking fabulous. Is that really so much to fucking ask?

Btw, dealio updates. I’m replacing those wonky JLab bluetooth earbuds with the Apple Airpods. John kept telling me Apple shit doesn’t go on sale and the pricing is all the same everywhere, so I bought them from the Apple store. Then what happens? A few days later, I’m scrolling through my Slickdeals phone app (yes, they have one!) and whadya know? $20 cheaper through Costco. Fucker! I’m telling you, can’t trust anything that boy says, esp when it comes to pricing. Thanks to my credit card extended warranty, I’m going to get reimbursed for the broken earbuds, so I’ll be getting these babies for a discount. I really didn’t think the wired earbuds would bother me much, but turns out, that shit does get tangled A LOT, esp when I’m fumbling with them in the car. And considering how often I am now on the phone, I’m going to give this new technology a try and see if it changes my life.

In other news, now that I am out of the sickness woods, I am turning my attention back to personal care. My skin has been doing great lately. I trimmed back the k-beauty regimen and I’m really trying to get more sleep… so far, so good. That said, I was disappointed to realize I still have a ways to go in terms of being more polished and presentable in public. Turns out, I am guilty of nearly ALL the “mistakes” that make a person look messy. Sure, I have decent self awareness, so I had a hunch it was bad. Just didn’t realize it was like 17/20 bad. Sigh. Work in progress.

Spring Recap

Holy shit, it’s been another several weeks since my last post. Honestly, who can keep up with time? He’s such a fleeting bitch!! So let’s see, quick recap: My deal closed last month and for two weeks I tried to schedule a meetup with my people. You know, after the transaction, you have to do the push– asking for referrals and recommendations. Apparently, that’s the cycle, according to the trainers/coaches. As it turned out, every damn time I called/texted, my family was too busy. So fine, one day I just pulled the “pop over” technique. I texted that I was in the area (which was true) and I would be by in ten minutes. Done.

I showed up and thankfully they were all home, including one of the sons who barely even acknowledged my presence. I mean, I get being intense about your work (hello UTI!). I get being in the zone, but Jesus, I walked into the kitchen where he was reading something on his laptop at the kitchen island, and he barely lifted his eyes to say hello. No, no, please. Don’t bother to get up out of your seat either! SMH.

Thankfully, I get along great with the mom, and she and the hubby showed me some of the progress around the house. I gave them the gifts with some explanation (I did a combo of items), and the mom commented on my thoughtfulness (yay!). Then at the very end, I went in awkwardly for the ask (mind you, all of this is in Chinese, so I’m not as eloquent as I am normally… haha!). She and the hubby just stood there and stared at me all confused, like, “What is a recommendation letter?” Who is it for and what do we write? Yeah, so to make the odd situation even more uncomfortable, I had to explain how it’s a document where they share their experience working with me and then I use it to show other people who are considering working with me.

I mean, I should have anticipated all this: I had mentioned the rec letter to my dad a few weeks earlier, saying I was going to be making the ask to my clients and he was super quiet about it. Is it a cultural thing? That’s what’s kinda frustrating about my parents being immigrants. I mean, it’s like, I have all the disadvantages of them being culturally illterate about assimilating into American culture and life yet, at the same time, they are totally NOT helpful for Chinese stuff bc they have been out of THAT culture for so long too, you know? So they’re basically useless in the career advancement arena. Anyway, as I’m explaining to my clients, they’re pretty much like, “We don’t know what to say or how these things are written…” Yes, beforehand, I had thought about providing a sample, but I couldn’t find any on the Chinese agents’ websites. Argh. So in the end, my clients just said, “You write what you want and we’ll sign off.” Yup, seriously. Getting compliments is like pulling teeth. So Chinese, right?

In their defense, I suppose the stress of writing a review/rec is not totally unheard of… Some agents in my office say they have staff reach out to clients and provide a bulleted list of things to mention in their testimonial… I dunno. The whole thing is just bizarro. And then I left. Shrug.

In other news, Bentley is fully recovered now post-surgery. I mean, I’m totally clueless about medical shit. I read all the pre- and post-op instructions but honestly, I’ve already forgotten what exactly the neutering entails. Was it a vasectomy? Was it the removal of his testes? All I know is that he came home, and I was totally surprised and disappointed to see his sack still in tact. There was a 1-inch incision at the base of his shaft. Sorry, I don’t want to use too many terms that might suggest via search terms that my post is pornographic in nature… Initially, it appeared to be healing great, scabbing over and all. Then, just as I thought we were out of the woods, it started oozing and looking gross. I tried to put neosporin on the incision, and he went bonkers again. Thankfully, it all just healed over time by itself. I asked Nathalie about the situation… I mean, I was totally expecting him to be eunuch. She said with full blown adult males, there might be some shrinkage but pretty much, that’s just part of the deal. If dogs are neutered much younger, things shrivel up and go away. Not in my case. Ugh. So I mean, it’s not the end of the word, but clearly, I’m a bit immature and squeamish about the dangling bits. I can’t help it: that shit is obnoxious and unsightly, esp for a 70-lb dog. And when I brush him with the slicker brush, I always have to be careful not to prick him. Oh well, I suppose I should just be happy the job is done and he’s healed.

His personality is also starting to shine more. He’s becoming more confident. I’m not sure if it’s the operation or him just passing the 3-month milestone with us. Thankfully, he is hiding a lot less and everybody is getting along. Buster was over for a few days last week. This week, Carla is here. I do love having our very own pooch again.

Culprit

I’m telling you, my father is something else. He calls me this morning at 9 AM. I miss the call bc I’m in the bathroom. When I call him back, he asks, “Have you woken up, yet?” Yes, I am awake. Meanwhile, he is Facetiming me and I’m seeing the inside of his fucking ear canal. Jesus Christ. He’s at his computer and there’s some audio blaring through the speakers, saying that his computer has been compromised and he has to call whatever number to get it fixed right away. Sound familiar?

I mean, no matter how much warning and training, this shit just keeps happening. He already called the number before calling me bc he couldn’t get ahold of me, Thankfully, the number had already been disconnected. So then I have him force a shut down and restart. He was trying to access his online accounts… Then a bunch of questions about whether his computer is infected. I don’t know! I’m not a computer security expert who just has all the latest answers to any tech question whatsoever!!! He restarts and everything appears fine. I run a quick scan. I don’t know if your computer is safe. I have to research this. Meanwhile, I have my new car being delivered in an hour.

He’s all antsy about logging into his stock accounts, bc he had plans for trading today. I mean, I dunno what to tell you. I have to look into it and then you are proceeding at your own risk. Otherwise, go to Best Buy and ask Geek Squad. We hang up and I research further. I’m trying to get a picture of the error so he can show the tech support people. How many times have I told him to take a picture of the error or message or alert using his phone?!?! It’s like he’s a newb every. single. time. After I tinker around for a few minutes, it seems that the error is just a pop-up ad so he is not infected. I call him back to report this, and then he asks if maybe I’m the source of the virus. He says I get so many emails now for my work and since I use remote access to troubleshoot his computer, maybe I gave it to him. Um, are you fucking kidding me? I’m kinda insulted AND pissed. I’m not clicking all over the web on stupid forwarded emails from his alumni list or sketchy natural news sites from my brother or junk financial scam products… I generally know how to keep my computer clean and now you’re thinking I’m the culprit? Puhlease. I was so annoyed. I mean, how many times has he asked me to view some sketchy “health” site promoting a miracle drug that cures everything under the sun? What about having me research his bullshit Suze Orman products or Jim Cramer crap. Meanwhile, his friend has also been turning him on to free Chinese movie sites. Who knows if that shit is legit or not. Ugh.

That’s the thing with the internet. It’s a wonderful tool. People can access so much damn information from it. The opportunity for learning is tremendous. But shit, scammers are getting smarter and smarter. You really do have to be careful and more savvy about identifying and avoiding sketchy sites.

Difficult Conversations

Now that I work in sales, I have to say, I interact with people a little differently. For example, I don’t shy away from having difficult or uncomfortable conversations.

As you know, my current car lease expires at the end of the month. Three years ago, I worked with a dealer rep in Fremont to set the terms of my lease. Last month, I started assessing my options for life after this current lease, and I considered going back to owning a car or possibly leasing a different brand. I mean, I like my current car, but John suggested that I might upgrade to a bigger one to schlep all my real estate junk. So fine. After hitting up a couple of dealerships and test driving some SUVs but not feeling especially compelled, I ultimately realized that 1) I didn’t want the hassle of driving a larger car (parking challenges) and 2) I didn’t want the higher payment either.

I briefly considered buying a plain and simple Toyota so I could get around without having to worry about scratches or sketchy neighborhoods, but Bubs argued that a lease makes more financial sense in terms of tax deductions for my business, so I might as well take advantage and get a nicer ride while I can. Ok, makes sense. I test drove a few SUVs as well as some larger sedans. Surprisingly, for the sedans, larger models just offered more interior space, not necessarily more trunk space. So the verdict?

I’m pretty much getting the same model, just a slightly bigger engine. Body style and color are supposed to be the same. I did some research online, of course: Truecar, Edmunds, etc. I reached out to a few dealerships including my current one. Then, I stumbled on a car buying service called Roadster (promo code) that claims to run your search, find you the car, negotiate the rates, and then pick up your old car and deliver the new one TO YOUR HOME. All for a $300 flat fee. Say what? Sounds too good to be true, right? I checked on Yelp. Solid reviews. I was completely intrigued, so I gave it a try. The lease rates were pretty competitive. And I still was asking the dealers to give me their best… with consideration for AAA, Costco, National Association of Realtors, brand loyalty, etc. I said, give me your best. And the concierge service still beat them.

So I called my dealer rep (same one from three years ago) to say I was using the new service. He got all upset and said I needed to help him do his job and give him info so he could take it up the chain. Needless to say, it was an uncomfortable conversation. But I explained that I HAD asked him to do the best. And the numbers just didn’t work. I liked him and found him to be responsive but ultimately, not only did the service beat on price, but ALSO, it offered me an opportunity to get it all done without going into the dealership. I mean, I just HAD to try it. In the end, the rep was disappointed but he understood and was gracious about it…

Still, it was stressful sharing my decision. I guess I think of interactions now more as relationships rather than business transactions, you know? There isn’t the distance that I used to have when making consumer decisions in the past. Now, I see people behind the products. And I dunno, maybe in my old age, I realize too that being a consumer isn’t always about scoring the absolute lowest price. Sometimes, I do consider paying premiums for a new service, a new idea, or just the concept of working with people I trust, I like, or who I know will get the job done.

You see, a few months ago, I met a Chinese homebuyer at an open house. I spent a lot of time running searches, previewing homes on his behalf, and explaining the market while providing data and charts and explanations. He never formally committed to me, and a month ago, he asked me about offering a buyer rebate. Mind you, the SELLER pays the buyer agent’s commission. But now with the advent of Redfin and Reali and all these market “disrupters”, people are suddenly getting offered these deals where sellers pay a flat fee and/or buyers get a rebate. The reason these companies can offer this is bc their agents are salaried, not commission-based. And the service level is lower, obviously, bc the focus is on volume rather than relationship/quality. Long story short, he asked me about a rebate, and I said that my brokerage is not a discount brokerage. We offer full-service and do not provide discounts. Plus, ultimately, as a buyer, your focus should be on winning the house, not on getting a discount from your agent, He seemed satisfied with my answer at the time, but then, a few weeks later, he gave me some bullshit excuse that his wife’s company was paying for relocation and forcing them to use another agent. I was really bummed, bc I had spent A LOT of time cultivating this client.

Then, a few days later, I heard from my lender that the buyer was in contract on a house. As it turned out, he wasn’t forced to use that agent by the relocation company. No, he picked that agent and then proceeded to demand a 1% rebate. On top of that, the buyer was unruly, didn’t follow instructions, was highly neurotic (calling people up to 40 times a day), and basically played all sides for his own selfish benefit. He was less than five days from closing and he STILL refused to select a lender. He carried two lenders through all the hoops until two days before signing!?!?! In the end, I realized that losing this client was a blessing in disguise. The way he behaved was not only unprofessional but also highly lacking in integrity, and the bottom line was that he clearly had no respect for other people. That’s the thing: I want to earn my living. I’m not asking for a handout. I’m not trying to scam people. If you’re wanting to buy/sell a home, I am functioning as your guide and your advocate. I work hard to get this job done. But I don’t work for free. And frankly, neither do you. How often do you get asked to give up your earnings or work at a discounted wage?

Look, I’m Asian. I like deals, and I often will make an ask. You’re welcome to ask me for a discount. But don’t insult me and act as if I have nothing to offer. Don’t treat me like I’m some sleazy con-person trying to rip you off. That’s one of the hardest parts of this job: in many ways, it is thankless. People think just bc real estate data are more widely available online, they can just do everything themselves. Well, go ahead then. Make the calls. Establish good relationships with all the parties involved in the transaction. Run the stats to calculate comps. Preview homes on the market. Review county plans, legal docs, contracts, and drawings. Study the data and develop a strategy. Track all the moving parts. Manage the project. Go ahead.

I had clients recently… I told them they were responsible for getting homeowner’s insurance, with coverage starting on closing day. They had two weeks to get it done. I even gave links to three insurance companies for quotes. They asked me what the coverage amount should be. I sent an article that estimated price/sf for the Bay Area, but said that the insurance agent would be the best person to answer that question and provide guidance. The buyer refused to pick up the phone to talk to an insurance agent. He just wanted to do everything online. Next thing you know, we’re four days away from closing and no homeowner’s coverage. In the end, I called up my personal insurance agent to work with the buyer and get it done. Like most jobs out there, sure, you can learn it and do parts of it yourself. But for whatever reason, people don’t, so please, have a little respect for professionals who really care about doing their job well. Ok, rant over.

The Finish Line

Yay, my latest transaction got across this finish line this week! What a journey! Overall, I was super happy with how everything rolled out. All parties are satisfied and really, everyone was respectful and professional throughout– I’m so grateful for good people on all sides.

I have to say though, it was pretty hard getting to know my clients. They were super private and tight-lipped. Eventually, I did glean some additional information. To be honest, it’s been somewhat of an emotional roller coaster for me being you know, Chinese-American with immigrant parents, and guiding this family with whom I share similar parallels. Sure, the parent-child relationship is universally a difficult one, but there’s just something about Chinese families that make them unique and obviously, more personal for me. It’s an interesting scenario, bc my experience serves as my advantage and allows me to service this niche well and yet, being in the midst of it all still triggers some stressful memories, you know? Whatever, though. That’s life: it’s complicated.

In the end, the most important thing is that my clients are delighted with the house. And they are. I mean, as happy as they can express. 🙂 I plan to stop by next week with my closing gifts and also my requests for recommendations and referrals. That’s right, I am already targeting my next deal(s). Gotta get ’em in before my 1-year anniversary at this office in June.

What else. Bentley got neutered on Wednesday– yup, the same day as closing. I had spoken with the vet tech weeks in advance about his vet phobia and fear aggression, so we took him in to the clinic wearing his muzzle. He looked like Hannibal Lecter, and as soon as we entered the waiting room, everyone got super tense. We stayed a few minutes longer, while they took him back to make sure they could get the initial sub-cutaneous injection in. They came out a few minutes later and made some comment like, yes, he def has fear aggression and touch sensitivity.

At the end of the day, I went to pick him up, and after asking the front desk some questions, the staff revealed that Bentley escalated big time and got out of his muzzle! No one got injured but it was a close call. OMFG. I’m telling you: this special needs shit is stressful. So now I’ve reached out to a few trainers to get this shit under control. Sure, one solution is to just never have him go to the vet. But that’s neither a practical nor realistic solution. GSDs are super-prone to health problems, so at some point, he’s gotta work through this. I’m trying to see this from a positive perspective: like maybe doggie training can be a new hobby where I can also meet new people, i.e. potential clients? I dunno. The experts say Bentley isn’t a lost cause: after all, he lets me touch him, clip his nails, mess with his mouth, touch his ears…. all of that shows he can trust people. It’ll just take time to build enough trust and to train him to relearn how he responds.

Swimming Upstream

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about classes and professional development workshops I’ve taken in the past. Back when I was floundering around, searching for my “true calling,” I remember that many of my instructors kept saying, “Once you find what you’re made to do, the common threds will emerge and everything will make sense.” Now as someone who, for the majority of my life, never felt like I was in the right place, this insistence seriously sounded like crazy talk. What common thred? There is no theme that carries throughout my life. Shut the hell up.

But I have to say, in the last year, things are starting to gel in some bizarre way. Am I just more aware now to see and make the connections? I’m not really sure. Interestingly, J has been busy lately collaborating on a start-up and also delving deeper into studying/working the stock market. With the genetic testing startup, he’s had to ramp up a ton, learning about biology and medical research/testing. For as long as I have known him, John’s never really been a school and classroom kind of guy, but he’s certainly always curious and always learning. He would just learn in his own way, which oftentimes involved studying textbooks on his own. Lately, he’s been re-engaging, listening to online lectures ranging from European history to genetics and also taking a local community ed class on Chinese (they’re teaching him reading and writing!). On the investment side of things, he’s really digging into financial data, reading annual reports, and listening in on investment meetings. I’m not really surprised that he is learning so much so quickly, but I personally find the topics rather dry. I mean, reading financial reports? It kinda reminds me of my friend J, who ordered a set of law school textbooks and started going through the courses on his own for fun at home. Haha. I guess the takeaway here is that all of us learn in different ways and in different settings. John was telling me that when he was a kid, he was obsessed with baseball stats and numbers. Like, he was practically the Moneyball kid. He tracked it all, and oddly, his analysis of the stock market is now his adult version of the baseball stats. See? Common thred.

As for me, my latest transaction really highlighted the common threds in my life. I realized that yeah, doing all the tasks and things for my parents actually prepared me for my current work. My dad had always developed his own spreadsheets and tracking systems to monitor his projects and accounts and rental properties. I did something similar myself for my homework assignments and test scores while in school… And then you know, with all the researching of information, calling vendors, reading through contracts, figuring out how things work, communicating to keep all parties on the same page… that made me more thorough and resourceful and effective. John was saying too that our stint in Shanghai did so much for us. Not only did it really boost our language skills, but living in a foreign country made us more observant, less fearful, less judgmental, and generally more attuned to different cultures and customs.

It’s kinda cool to realize the culmination of so many experiences. Still, there are always so many things to work on. I have that chronic fear of getting soft. And in my work, I have a fear of discomfort hindering me. For example, it’s been many months since I last doorknocked. Mostly bc I was sick for two months, but also bc doorknocking just sucks so I haven’t been motivated to do it.

Well yesterday, bc I didn’t have an open house this weekend, I decided to nip that shit in the bud. Yup, doorknocked for 90 minutes. It sucked and only 5-6 people answered the door, BUT afterwards, I was glad that I did it: Awkwardness isn’t going to stop me. I know, these are the incessant mind games I play with myself.

My other method of building resilience? I tackle little projects where I have to negotiate or argue for stuff– you know, talk to people on the phone and try to get my way.

For example, I recently made the switch from T-Mobile to Verizon. At the time, when I was talking to reps to research the different phone plans, one person let me in on a $200 Bring Your Own Phone promo. Long story short, two months later, I still hadn’t received my $200. Now for most people, $200 is NBD and it certainly isn’t worth multiple calls with various reps on the phone. Well, I’m not gonna be afraid of phone time anymore. And also, my job is negotiation. I can’t be shying away from this shit. So yes, it took another hour on the phone with three different reps. But in the end, Verizon gave me my $200. John just shook his head. He cringed just listening to me on the phone. Oh well. Two birds, one stone. I’m practicing my negotiation skills. I’m building my resilience. And I’m earning my $200. Haha.

Btw, this is a relatively new lesson for me, but being nice and staying calm does wonders. In the past, I used to rip on people. If they were incompetent or whatever, there was no mercy. But now I’ve learned that people want to work with people they like. Even if you think they are incompetent or that they fucked up big time, being respectful makes people want to cooperate and help you.

Lastly, speaking of systems… did you know that your credit card likely has a benefit called extended warranty? For most purchases you make on your card, the manufacturer’s warranty is doubled. I used this when my heated mattress topper stopped working after the first year but before the second year. Chase paid for my replacement topper. Now, John’s $120 earbuds suddenly stopped working. Once again, the problem arose after the manufacturer’s one year warranty but before the second year of the extended. I don’t even have that credit card anymore, but the extended coverage still applies, so the rep confirmed. Some products are excluded, but it’s a handy benefit. That’s your tip of the day. Enjoy!