Over the long holiday weekend, I toured a number of homes… this was good practice bc I took Bubs along on Saturday to be like a sample client and well, I learned a lot about logistics. This work is really keeping me on my toes. It’s not enough that I filter out the open houses and input them into my Google maps. Oh no, there was a whole host of deficiencies revealed with my car organization and work flow. First, my devices are like perpetually low battery. Not only am I now using an app to track my car mileage, but every real estate app plus mapping and gps sucks down the juice fast! I had a few external batteries on hand but then for some reason, my iPad would charge with one but not the other. Then, I had my devices mounted on suction cups in the car so I could use them hands free. The fucking suctions kept falling off the window or dash. Seriously, it was one thing after the other. My keys now are clunky as fuck bc I have a fob for lock boxes and then when I’m dressed up in fancy clothes, I don’t have pockets. So like my devices were falling off the dash and then my keys were in my lap but fell into that console crevice when I made a hard turn. I have my monster purse that I put under my legs when someone is sitting in the passenger seat. Then, with all the flyers and papers from the open houses, I had no file tote or anything to gather them. Bottom line: the Saturday dry run was a fucking god awful disaster.

I took Bubbey to see three places: a new construction model home (two models open) and two single family homes in more “affordable” parts of Sunnyvale. Of course, the new construction was nice, but then the single family homes were very shabby and super sketch. Both were clearly inhabited by Chinese hoarders AND they were converted to operate either as a worker dorm or as a brothel. I mean, I have seen a lot of hoarder, dirty, dingy places in my life and these two gave both of us the creeps. It was a very good reminder that location seriously matters. If you buy, squeeze yourself into the smallest place in a good hood before buying anything in a shady community. It was eye opening for reals.

I also learned a lot that day about what NOT to do as an agent holding an open house. One agent couldn’t shake my hand, bc she had just done her nails– tour traffic was slow, she explained. Another agent was super rude and distracted, on the phone handling another property matter. Sure, shit happens but she really could have been a bit more polite to people coming in. She didn’t even try to thank people for stopping by. Weird.

We only saw a few places, but by the end of these two hours, both of us were freaking exhausted. And I mean, it was very clear that I needed to implement a system!

Thankfully the next day, I got organized. Hit up Office Depot and got a portable file box plus sticky pads to replace my suctions plus plastic pockets for both console crevices. The latter is my fav so far bc holy crap, now I have a place for my keys and external batteries and I no longer have to smash my hand into that tight spot trying to fish shit out of there. I have also decided to use Google offline maps to get around the lack of service issue. Hopefully the second dry run will be a better experience for Bubbey.

Well, I did it! I had my inaugural meeting with a loan agent, and honestly, the first one went ok! Not stellar, but ok. The lady was a very experienced pro, and we chatted for about 30 minutes. She seemed a little hurried, with appointments on both sides of mine, but she was knowledgeable and sharp. Sadly, since she was formerly an in-house loan processor for a realty office, she already had her list of go-to agents. Still, it was a worthy exercise, if anything, to break myself in. And my popcorn cone gift was decently received. Thankfully, it’s something that I can cram into my monster handbag and not show up to these meetings with a shit ton of stuff in my arms.

Afterwards, I was very relieved the meeting was over, but at the same time, I felt a headache brewing. Still, I decided that since I was already all dressed up (that shit is taking longer and longer these days bc my starting canvas is a mess and you know, the final presentation has to be fancier than before), I might as well take advantage. So, on the way home, I pulled over at another bank and did a walk-in. No appointment, and oddly, there was no service person tending to the queue. WTH? After a few minutes of awkward looking around trying to figure out the system, I had no choice but to get in line for the teller. When I told her I was a realtor looking to speak with a loan officer, she was all confused, like are you getting a loan for yourself? Guess my coach is right: realtors hitting up lenders for cross-referral business is a rare thing.

This guy was very pleasant. Right off the bat, he told me his bank is different in that it offers home loans to H1B1 visa holders, which is mostly tech workers from overseas. Still, who knew that option even existed? He also was very amenable to working together and co-hosting open houses and homebuy seminars and such. Very positive experience. Another thing I’ve learned? These officers are on call,  man. Their turn around times for pre-approvals is speedy– like hours and even outside business hours. I like that hustle.

Man, by the time I got home, I was wiped. All that mental anxiety and shit… it beats the body down! But I def patted myself on the back. Nothing more satisfying than a Vix getting down to business!

On Friday, I had another appointment with a loan officer in swanky downtown Los Altos. I had a great rapport with this lady. She was a gracious about my chintzy popcorn and then we actually sat down and did an exercise, with like some client earning x, saving y, blah, blah. Just a sample case scenario. It was so helpful! And then she turned me on to options to increase down payment. For example, for some people, they can use money from their 401k for downpayment and then pay themselves back later. Another secret, right? I think too she was quite impressed that I was just starting up and building my business and going around introducing myself to loan agents. Haha. My coach knows his shit! As I was wrapping up, her new hire came in (I had already scouted out that lady’s profile online too) and we introduced one another. My coach has mentioned before that sometimes when both sides are new, they create a strong partnership bc both parties are building their client list.

As I left there, I again wanted to keep the momentum going, so I then did a walk-in at the bank across the street. Well, I went to my car first to get another popcorn cone out of my trunk, THEN I went into the other bank. That place was a totally different, very casual and familial vibe. I chatted with two agents (though the home loan specialist was out) as well as the branch manager/VP. She was super psyched to see me bc apparently, she had just had a meeting with her staff telling them they needed to reach out to Realtors. Haha. She was super friendly and immediately suggested lunch next week when the loan dude gets back. She also mentioned having a budget for homebuying seminars and hosting community events at their branch. Yay!

So I ended the week pretty happy. Got home and hunkered down with the program: followup cards in the mail to the people I met. And the cycle continues.

I’ve been continuing touring open houses, going through exercises using the apps/tools to evaluate the market, etc. I went to lunch with some former colleagues and figured out a way to ask them to join my email list for periodic updates…. so things are moving in the prep/training up stage. I’m enjoying all the variety of work!

Holy crap, I have been schmoozing like crazy. To be honest, its a rather disappointing and oftentimes deflating experience. I have lists upon lists, categorizing my contacts into different spheres of influence, and I am reconnecting with my circles slowly but methodically. What exactly does this entail?

The thing is, it’s not my style to just send out generic group eblasts, so I’m writing people individually, one by one. Sure, there are some sentences that are copied, like telling people about my new job/career, but most of the messages are catered to what I recall about the recipient and where we last left off. It is a time-ass consuming process.

Recently, one of my big target groups was ProMatch, the networking group I joined before my job at the university. This was a huge network of job seekers meeting multiple times a week for several months to hone job search skills and to brainstorm about professional development. At the time, I did everything I could to help people in the group, esp with connections to various industries or companies. For example, I put engineers in touch with my fuel cell startup colleagues or my engineering friends;  I put environmental people in touch with my hazwaste and environmental engineering crowd. I offered my help willingly bc I believed in this system, so I took the time to first reach out to my contact, ask for his/her permission to connect, and then connect the two people. In Malcolm Gladwell’s world, I’m most naturally a “maven” (researcher) but I worked hard to be a “connector.” And it was difficult for me, bc as an ESTJ, I don’t like to delegate nor ask for help, you know? But that was the process we were taught, and I followed the business/job experts faithfully.

Indeed, ProMatch was an eye-opening experience. I had so many ignored messages but at the same time, I also met some incredibly kind, generous, and gracious people. So I continued to pay things forward by embracing this idea of sharing and helping: I took calls from strangers wanting to learn more about SCU; I met friends of ProMatchers for coffee; I shared website advice, blah, blah. Now, it’s been about 2-3 years since. I lost touch with some ProMatchers, but others, I stayed loosely in contact. So I sent them all an email, seeing what they are up to (I’m genuinely nosy that way), how their current job is going, wondering if they are interested in a ProMatch meetup in 2017. At least six of them, whom I directly introduced to my network and/or met for coffee, have yet to reply. So now I’m a little irked. I mean, really? I understand that relationships are not even Steven trading all the time, but I did go out on a limb to help these people, and now there’s zero reciprocity. J claims that it’s a busy time of year or whatever. Look people: I know you’re busy, but it’s email. It takes a few minutes (if even) to throw the stone farther down the road: I’m really busy but thanks for reaching out. Happy to touch base later… Am I right???

So of course, this is where I have to “control my reaction” bc I “can’t control how other people will respond,” as J always tells me. I swear, I try not to take such things personally. After all, I’m not on top of everything all the time either, right? But shit, I still get frustrated. I hear little voices from J and from my coach telling me that most people have zero follow-through. They aren’t intentionally trying to thwart me. But fuck man. I’m an ESTJ: it’s nearly impossible not to clump all of those explanations into the excuses pile. Do you see the mental conflict? Welcome to my overthinking world.

After a few moments of feeling sorry for myself, I eventually pick up again, reminding myself that relationships are a numbers game. You click with loads of people in this world, but then only a subset will put in the effort to keep the volley going. If people suck at follow through with friends, the stats are surely worse with mere acquaintances!

All of this dredges up shit from my childhood. I was so scrawny and I was practically the only Asian. I went through rejection and bullying and being a social outcast A LOT. I know the drill. But I think it’s still human nature to seek acceptance by others. Even as an adult who exercises much more control over thoughts/actions than a child, there is still some innate desire to be popular and well-liked. At 40, I give less fucks about what other people think, etc… but less fucks is still not zero fucks, you know?

Ah well, the bottom line? I won’t be stopped. People can ignore me and disappoint me. What I’ve given, I’ve already committed. When I’m feeling more optimistic, I may try again in spite of the zippo response. Regardless though, this won’t stop me from exchanging and reaching out to others. Bubs calls me a tugboat for a reason.

These final days of November, I am pulling out all the stops. I have been reaching out to all kinds of people from my past to re-establish connections. It’s kinda funny, bc I’m perpetually curious about what other people are up to and now I kind of have a reason to re-engage. 

I’ve also been attending more trainings for work… I’ve taken four more sessions and it’s only Wednesday. I’m learning tons though: the software and databases are so freaking powerful and despite the tendency for overwhelm, it’s kind of empowering to have access to so much information. Technology, man. That is some powerful shit. SMH. Btw I’ve befriended one of the corporate trainers… he’s really good and well, I’m pretty stoked about learning from people who know their shit.

On Tuesday night, I got my ass back to the board gamers meetup. Honestly, I just wanted to give it another try and Bubbey was supposed to go with. I thought it would be a fun joint activity. Well earlier in the day the cable guy came out… as you know, our service has been wonky lately. John, being the hermit that he is, insisted that the problem went away and we ought to cancel the service appointment, but hello, when I provided the error code to the phone rep, he said a tech needed to come out. So I refused to cancel the apppointment. Well, turns out our cable running outside over the roof was an indoor cable that ended up cracking from exposure to the elements, and water leaked into the line. Mind you, when we signed on for cable six year ago, the rep used the wrong cable… so whatever. Yesterday the guy replaced the line and now we’re good to go. It’s pretty annoying though that I have to fight John on stupid things like that. I mean, I hardly even watch tv and I wouldn’t even order cable tv if I lived solo, yet whenever something acts up or the service blips out, I’m the one calling tech support and dealing with troubleshooting. And then bc Comcast was so busy, they couldn’t even come out the next day… and still John wanted me to cancel the appointment bc he didn’t feel like dealing with a person? So stupid. Don’t complain then the next time service cuts out.

Anyway, so bc of that and whatever else he did on Tuesday, Bubs backed out of the game meetup, and I went solo. Whatever. I recognized the same three people I played with last week and joined one of them who was playing with a new  group. Some Japanese card game, which was even more confusing than the Pharoah game. After the Japanese card game, I asked my former group if they wanted to play the pharaoh game again, bc I wanted to repeat and have the rules sink in. Up until then, the Asperger fro guy was alone learning a new board game. I went over and asked if he wanted to play the pharaoh game again and he jumped at the chance. So he was kind enough to set up the board, which actually takes some time. This was my third time playing ever, so me and the old dude kept messing up, meaning we either forgot what the symbol meant or we did something that we weren’t allowed to do… Fro dude started getting frustrated and at one point he began rocking in his seat. The rest of us were just trying to learn from one another and have fun with it… needless to say, after the game ended, me and the old dude (the third guy figured out the game last time already!) got chastised. Seriously. “Next time, I’m NOT going to answer question and explain things to you anymore. I had to repeat myself over and over again, and it’s extremely frustrating playing a game with people who keep making so many mistakes. You will have to read the rules yourself if you want to play again next time.” Ouch.

I mean, fair enough. I didn’t read the rules, bc I’m slow with learning games by reading, and I’m also too lazy to read. But shit, why are you taking this so seriously? The old dude and I responded by thanking him again for all his patience and for showing us the ropes, and honestly, I though it was kind of humorous at the time. But after I got home, I was kind of annoyed. I mean, heck, I could have just let him sit there by himself without even playing with any people. Or I could say it’s frustrating to play with someone who starts rocking, while others are still learning… whatever. Afterwards, walking out to my car, I spoke for a few minutes to the quick learner guy. He suggested that maybe next time we can play my word games like Taboo. We don’t have to play the strategy games. He seemed really nice… a software engineer who moved here from Turkey last year. The thing is, I kinda like this idea of meeting regularly for a hobby. It kinda appeals to the routine/scheduling side of me. I will go back next week and take my games.