Okay, so things sounded a little too good to be true. Yes, many of you (John included) thought I was a wee-bit too optimistic about working for an MNC in China. So call me naive. It’s always been my downfall. Here I was, thinking, “Wow, what an accomplishment. I got hired without the on-site interview.” Slight mistake. IBM’s e-learing division is on the 10th floor of Rui An Plaza, at the corner of the famous Huai Hai Road and HuangPi Nan Road. Very very prestigious location. The good news is that my commute is a bike ride to the metro and four stops north– about 35 minutes. Not bad. Well the bad news is, our team of 15 people is crammed into a room about the size of my dining room and half my living room. In other words, it’s corporate closet space. There are long tables spanning maybe ten feet in length, arranged in parallel, with about three people each table. So I have a co-worker siting right next to me (like we’re eating lunch together in a high school cafeteria) and someone directly behind me– so close that our chairs are constantly bumping. Yeah. BAD NEWS. On top of that, I have a crappy P2 computer that has Chinese Windows 2000 and a crummy, dirty, non-optical, non-scrolly mouse. And my computer freezes and has to be restarted about 4-5 times a day.

So my job there is sorta a blend of writer/editor/project manager. But strangely, they expect me to write in this environment where there is absolutely no privacy or sound proofing. I mean, not even those pathetic cubicle half-walls. So people are listening to audio e-learning clips, talking on the phone, yelling to each other from one end of the room to the other, getting on con-calls— all while I’m trying to fucking write and edit.

I mean, yes the people are nice, and since the office is all Chinese (with some ABCs or CBCs (Canada)), it’s good interaction for me… still, John has spoiled me with wifi at home, a sweet laptop, nice keyboards/mice, etc. I wish I were working at home again. 🙁

Oh well. So this week has been really busy. One of our big clients, Intel, has commissioned all this new employee orientation e-learning stuff. You know what’s so weird? I’ve been tapped to be the “voice” on all their Asia-Pacific materials. That’s right. My shitty, whiney, pep-less voice was chosen by the client. I don’t know what they’re smokin’. So stay tuned… for some future clips. “The Intel Channel Knowledge Builder Program is fast and efficient in delivering e-learning solutions to your employees….” Ha, ha. Cracks me up.

Oh man, I’m sick already. IBM blasts their A/C and despite my efforts to bundle up with a wool sweater, I caught a goddamn cold. Yeah, I had to cancel my class this morning with Frank because I had snot dripping out of my nose and an intolerable headache. God, I’m such a wimp. Fortunately, dad stocked me up with Nyquil and Tylenol Cold. Give me the drugs!! I am feeling better today, but I may take in my hot-water bottle.

By the way, John has already requested reconnaissance pictures of my disappointing work conditions… I’ll try my best.

Okay, so things sounded a little too good to be true. Yes, many of you (John included) thought I was a wee-bit too optimistic about working for an MNC in China. So call me naive. It’s always been my downfall. Here I was, thinking, “Wow, what an accomplishment. I got hired without the on-site interview.” Slight mistake. IBM’s e-learing division is on the 10th floor of Rui An Plaza, at the corner of the famous Huai Hai Road and HuangPi Nan Road. Very very prestigious location. The good news is that my commute is a bike ride to the metro and four stops north– about 35 minutes. Not bad. Well the bad news is, our team of 15 people is crammed into a room about the size of my dining room and half my living room. In other words, it’s corporate closet space. There are long tables spanning maybe ten feet in length, arranged in parallel, with about three people each table. So I have a co-worker siting right next to me (like we’re eating lunch together in a high school cafeteria) and someone directly behind me– so close that our chairs are constantly bumping. Yeah. BAD NEWS. On top of that, I have a crappy P2 computer that has Chinese Windows 2000 and a crummy, dirty, non-optical, non-scrolly mouse. And my computer freezes and has to be restarted about 4-5 times a day.

So my job there is sorta a blend of writer/editor/project manager. But strangely, they expect me to write in this environment where there is absolutely no privacy or sound proofing. I mean, not even those pathetic cubicle half-walls. So people are listening to audio e-learning clips, talking on the phone, yelling to each other from one end of the room to the other, getting on con-calls— all while I’m trying to fucking write and edit.

I mean, yes the people are nice, and since the office is all Chinese (with some ABCs or CBCs (Canada)), it’s good interaction for me… still, John has spoiled me with wifi at home, a sweet laptop, nice keyboards/mice, etc. I wish I were working at home again. 🙁

Oh well. So this week has been really busy. One of our big clients, Intel, has commissioned all this new employee orientation e-learning stuff. You know what’s so weird? I’ve been tapped to be the “voice” on all their Asia-Pacific materials. That’s right. My shitty, whiney, pep-less voice was chosen by the client. I don’t know what they’re smokin’. So stay tuned… for some future clips. “The Intel Channel Knowledge Builder Program is fast and efficient in delivering e-learning solutions to your employees….” Ha, ha. Cracks me up.

Oh man, I’m sick already. IBM blasts their A/C and despite my efforts to bundle up with a wool sweater, I caught a goddamn cold. Yeah, I had to cancel my class this morning with Frank because I had snot dripping out of my nose and an intolerable headache. God, I’m such a wimp. Fortunately, dad stocked me up with Nyquil and Tylenol Cold. Give me the drugs!! I am feeling better today, but I may take in my hot-water bottle.

By the way, John has already requested reconnaissance pictures of my disappointing work conditions… I’ll try my best.

Yeah! I got a job offer from IBM Shanghai for a senior educational writing position. “As someone with a clear passion for non-profit work, how do you feel about working for a big MNC?” How many times was I asked that question? Fortunately, I have a cool answer for it. If you’re curious, let me know and I’ll fill you in. 🙂

I am so thrilled. The pay is low by US standards but quite good for Shanghai. I talked with two people on the team, and the job sounds totally cool. I’ll basically be 1) writing e-learning pieces from scratch (after being given source data from the experts 2) edit existing documents 3) do project management. Is that a fine fit or what? Teaching continues to be rewarding, but honestly it is quite tiring and in some ways tedious. With this job, I feel I’ll be able to multi-task with a lot of different things. And this job is quite close to our place. I really can’t wait. I start full-time on October 11. Full time at an MNC office in Shanghai. Wonder what it’ll be like. Wish me luck!

Blame it on the election year– in the last several months, my relationship with the parents has really soured. Honestly, I was beginning to resent them for their weird blend of Republican elitism and snobbery… Fortunately, I was rightfully reminded that I should respect my parents no matter what. I mean yeah, in many ways they are very obsessed with educational pedigree and professional prestige, but as John explained, that is not so much a characteristic specific to my parents. Rather, it’s a Chinese thing. The other hangup I have/had is my parents will vote for Bush again. So yeah, not good. I try to argue that Bush is anti-woman and anti-immigrants and anti- any sense at all, but in the end, their decision is driven by taxes and malpractice issues. I know my parents have never forgotten their humble beginnings. They still treat people they meet–of all socio-economic status–with respect and kindness. So I guess even if they support someone who’s a total asshole to less fortunate people, I guess it helps that they don’t adopt his policies directly. Still, it’s weird: they never seem to support my passions to help underprivileged people… Anyway, the point is, we have our disagreements and varying points of views, but they aren’t complete aliens. 🙂 At the core, they really are good, generous people (unlike many other Republicans), so I am proud.

Subject switch: what is up with all the crazy weather going down in FL and CA? Four hurricanes and an earthquake? Poor residents. Jesus Christ. The US is going to hell. Speaking of which, I was listening to NPR and Democracy Now today. What a goddamn mess in Iraq AND Afghanistan. And the mainstream media is reporting that more women are voting Republican because of the security issue? What the hell? Are these women complete idiots? Have they been through airport security lately? I do NOT feel more safe. This is total bullshit. God all that Department of Homeland Security crap is such a joke. Have these Bush voters noticed the deficit lately? Hello? Fiscal conservatives? Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. Morons.

Okay, enough name calling. Hey, anyone want any of our old books for sale at Half.com? I got a lil’ Santa helper administering my shipping/handling. Heh, heh.

God, I’m on this new allergy medication and it makes me drowsy. Feel all loopy and shit. Okay hitting the sack early.

Got an email today from Rainbow Consulting: Citigroup Shanghai finally signed on for Communications Training. So that’s all fine and dandy because we’ve been chasing this project since June. But during the entire process, as we inched closer and closer to a deal, I kept harassing Dan (the boss at Rainbow Consulting) to give me the terms of her offer to me. Basically, Citigroup is her client, and I’m the trainer she has sold to them for this project. Still, she never told me how much I’d get paid, what the expectations were, or any other details of my arrangement with her. So two days ago, she emails me saying we got the job and that the pay is about 1/3 what I originally quoted to her. Sure, I didn’t expect her to pay me exactly what I seeked, but come on… putting it off til the very end and then hoping that urgency will force me to accept without negotation? That’s plain stupid. I’ve gotten screwed far too many times by employers already. So the bargaining is on. We’ll see how she responds.

In other news, the ISAW Global client is working out wonderfully. My lessons with Frank are brief– only 60 minutes, but I can see that he is pleased. Last week he even mentioned wanting to have me on his staff doing recruitment for technical clients… I’m open to hearing more…

I got an email from IBM Shanghai today. They have a senior writing position. Sounds like a job for which I am well suited– editing and writing e-training documents. How cool would that be working for Big Blue?

Outside the job hunting front, we’re coming up on Zhong Qiu Jie– Mid-Autumn Festival. I liken the holiday to a Chinese Thanksgiving. It’s basically a time to gather with families to watch the full moon and eat mooncakes.

John recently got his business cards printed. So professional. He made two designs this time. Despite issues with quality control and color consistency, the cards for the most part came out okay, especially considering they cost only $6 USD/box.

John is doing well. Since moving to China, he has lost over 20 lbs, thanks to a combination of eating less, drinking less soda, and exercising. I’m so proud of Bubbey. He looks and feels so much better. New version of Bubs!

John and I FINALLY got around to getting my business cards reprinted. Well, not really reprinted–I ran out, so I just ordered another batch. Last time, we got them done at Sir Speedy. John spent hours at their copy center holding the designer’s hand. I mean, to be fair, the transition from an Adobe design file to something in hard print ha always been a challenging, tedious, confusing process. Complicate it further with communication using everyday (vs. trade-level) Chinese, and you’re pretty much doomed to fail. So anyway, the first batch was a disaster. The colors were all off, and the job was pricey as hell. This time, we went to a local print shop, interacted with a few middle men, and voila. My cards came out pretty close to the original design– still not perfect, but certainly good enough. And 100 cards only cost 45 yuan (less than 6 USD). John, aka Creative Director of Move the Brain Design Services, is now hard at work on other biz card projects. He designed one for our brother in-law Dan, who runs his own auto-detailing service–Addicted to Detail. This morning, I was on the phone back and forth with the printer/designer. After a lot of dumbing down on the phone, super slow IMing in Chinese (yeah, baby!), endless modifications to the software, and repeated uploads, I think we finally arrived on the same page. I do hope the cards come out well. We should get them tomorrow or the day after.

I wrote my first proposal this week for Move the Brain! That was fun, especially for an anal person like me. It was for that Cabot Chemical job that I mentioned earlier– the President of the company wanted some training with pronunciation, communication, and cultural shit. So I did a bunch of research on potential sources for picking up US cultural literacy… anyway, I spent forever on the proposal. Fortunately, I had the benefit of working on my awesome new laptop— so at least I didn’t suffer through random shutdowns and the like. Of course, I did spend three days installing all the software I needed, moving my files over, and searching for stupid Sony drivers (which aren’t posted on their website!). Fuckers. Back to the story though… Sheng (the President) liked my proposal. He just had two requests: 1) lesson plans one week in advance 2) a lower tutoring rate. The Chinese—they’re all about the negotiating. Everything and anything is up for debate. Gotta be ready for that… I emailed him my response. We’ll see where that goes….

Always waiting…. that goddamn Citigroup job. I emailed the consulting firm (who would hire me as their trainer, contracted to teach Citi), and Dan said the Citi Pres is reluctant… he may need some additional convincing from Citi HR and upper management. So we may not hear about the job until after the national holiday (October 1-7). Argh!

In other news, I’ve been doing some food prep lately. Honestly, I hate cooking (yes, food prep falls under cooking for me) but still, I’ll admit it’s a practical skill to have. So a few times this week, after John came home from the gym, I made sushi rolls and cooked pasta. I know, nothing fancy but hey, baby steps.

Oh! Exciting news! John discovered some of our beloved TV shows online. So, no more deprivation. We watched the first ep of Nip/Tuck season 2 last night. So good. Other shows are already in the pipeline: Newlyweds, Good Eats, and Trailer Park Boys. Yipee!

BTW, I watched/listened to a bunch of DNC speeches this week. That was fun. Check em out online at The Dem Convention. My new quote of the day (from Teresa Heinz Kerry): “There is a value in taking a stand whether or not anyone may be noticing and whether or not it is a risky thing to do. And if even those who are in danger can raise their lonely voices, isn’t more required of all of us, in this land where liberty had her birth?” Right on!

Oh and a great speech by Sen. Barack Obama. I especially like these lines: “In the end, that’s what this election is about. Do we participate in a politics of cynicism or a politics of hope? John Kerry calls on us to hope. John Edwards calls on us to hope. I’m not talking about blind optimism here—the almost willful ignorance that thinks unemployment will go away if we just don’t talk about it, or the health care crisis will solve itself if we just ignore it. No, I’m talking about something more substantial. It’s the hope of slaves sitting around a fire singing freedom songs; the hope of immigrants setting out for distant shores; the hope of a young naval lieutenant bravely patrolling the Mekong Delta; the hope of a millworker’s son who dares to defy the odds; the hope of a skinny kid with a funny name who believes that America has a place for him, too. The audacity of hope!”

This week’s kicking off to a different beat. SABIC cancelled again for Wednesday (nothing new there), but on Monday I started tutoring Hong, the supervisor at our local beauty salon. Months ago, on learning that I was an English trainer, she expressed interest in learning English but then was disappointed my rates were so high. After some thinking, I decided to tutor pro bono. To my surprise, she reacted suspiciously. After many more months, I think she’s finally felt ready to trust me– or at least she wanted to learn English so badly, she didn’t care that it sounded too good to be true. Anyway, the lesson went well. As always, I was a little nervous beforehand. But once we got going, it went well. We only covered a little bit in two hours, but I am very pleased. You could really see her eagerness and excitement to be learning. The cool thing is that she’s been talking about it with the other ladies at work; she said three others are also interested in learning. I sort of think of this as my consolation for not finding an NGO in Shanghai. Internally, I hope that the English training will enable these young women to find better paying jobs– perhaps still in the service sector but maybe with employers whose clientele include foreigners. Establishments that predominantly service foreigners always seem like a notch above. I’m not sure what their motivations are for learning English. I tried to get a sense when I talked to Hong on Monday, but she didn’t explain. I guess it’s good enough that she just wants to learn.

I started my lessons with Frank this morning. He’s the director of ISAW Global, an executive search firm. It’s helpful making contacts with HR recruiters…. you’ll always know someone who’s up on the market. Anyway, the lesson was early– I was up at 6:30 for the class at 7:45. Wanted to make sure I got there on time. The hour went extremely well. I think he was really pleased. We covered introducing yourself at a conference/party, talking about his company in detail, talking about his background, ending conversations, and some light writing. It was pretty cool… I may consider teaching more people in the mornings. Frank was definitely more awake and interested.

What else is new? Hmm. I’m making some new friends, which is exciting for me. I went to a networking event last month and met some cool Europeans. I’ve been in contact with them via email since then. I met with Noor (Dutch) for lunch, and we will meet JB (cool French dude) for dinner/drinks this week I hope. I’ll keep you posted.

Btw, anyone shopping for a laptop? My compaq presario is still chugging along, except for that strange, random bug where it just abruptly shuts off. Yes, the unit is about 3.5 years old… long story short, John and I have been crazy researching my next notebook. The nutty thing is, I settled on three others before finally purchasing a new Sony Vaio S170 today. I can’t believe we made such a big purchase in China. I originally was holding out to buy in the US, but since warranties don’t usually apply outside the country of purchase, we were kinda stuck. Anyway, my new laptop is sweet!! But for those of you in the market, my research turned up a number of good products. Of course, I like a hi-res screen– I like to see a lot of stuff, even if they are small. That said, I give good marks to the following (in no particular order): 1) Acer Travelmate 800C 2) Gateway 450Eb 3) Samsung X30 (not available in US). There you have it. They all run near $2k. My Vaio is kickass, if you’re ok with a wide aspect 13.3-inch screen.

Can’t believe how long it’s been since my last blog. I guess with John’s blog on the scene, I decided to sit back and read someone else’s for a bit. His is hosted through his mac account, and apparently the apple blogger software is quite the thing. He can embed pictures and all. Sorry readers, I lack that level of blogging sophistication– you’re gonna have to just suck it up and click over to Imagestation.

This has been another busy week. Thankfully, hurricane season is bringing all sorts of strong breezes to Shanghai. Some days are entirely rainy, but we are just relieved for the cooler weather. The summer was utterly unbearable.

I’m learning that September in China is kinda like New Year’s in the US. I mean, yeah the kids are back in school, but besides that, there’s this weird sort of New Year’s Resolution attitude about things. I’ve been responding to teaching/training ads all year, and suddenly, I’m getting lots of bites. Everyone wants to starting their English training–for real, this time. I had maybe three interviews last week. I’m still waiting to hear about the Citigroup gig— god, companies take FOREVER with these things. In the meantime, I asked Rainbow Consulting to send me their draft contract with me… I’m waiting on that too. You gotta get that kind of logistical shit on the table. Otherwise, they practically assume you’ve accepted without them even mentioning your pay. It’s a strange and tricky approach over here.

I got an email this morning… just picked up a new client– the director of a small HR company. Actually, the director interviewed me last week looking for a trainer for his staff. The company ended up picking someone else, but he wanted me to be his personal trainer. So whatever. I’m game. We start this week– 8am twice a week. No games.

Another interview last week was with the president of Cabot Chemical, a global chem company in Shanghai. The guy is super hardcore– wants to learn about food/wine, arts, American football, public speaking, PR… all kinds of high-powered stuff. I guess he meets regularly with CEOs and the like. So he printed out this confusing, fluffy Newsweek article (I know, uncharacteristic of Newsweek) about the King Lear play currently running in NYC and wanted to understand it. I was honest with him… I could teach him pronunciation (one of his goals) and higher level reading, but my experience with more of the business etiquette/cultural things is somewhat limited. I have no problem researching and presenting my findings to him, but really the only people I know who have this level of experience are people my parents’ age. I mean, these people are a different breed– they run in different circles. I’m thinking Mrs. Rubin, John’s co-workers… I just played in the landfill and met with solid waste operators while I was in the glorious world of consulting. Regardless, I offered to put together a proposal and we’ll go from there. Not sure what he thought of our interview. I was just myself, meaning I was articulate, but I wasn’t like a public speaker or anything. This guy has downloaded all the DNC speeches even! The project sounds really interesting and I would certainly learn a ton… but it will be a lot of work. Oh well, we’ll see how things go.

In other news, Wu Ayi taught John and me to make jiaozi’s (dumplings) today. That was a LOAD of work–chopping, slicing, peeling, squeezing… none of our gadgets could help us. 🙁

John has finally chosen his Chinese name: Li Qiang (or Qiang Li, as they would turn it in English–different sequencing of the first/last names). Li is a pretty common last name that is also easy to write. Qiang is sometimes used for John. There you have it. We’re going to have new business cards printed this week. I’ll take pictures when they’re done.

Ok. Time to prep for class. Hope you are having a good Labor Day holiday!

Okay, a wrap-up of this last week. On Monday, John and I celebrated our 8-year anniversary. Can you believe it? Nearly a decade ago. In the afternoon, we went bowling at our locals’ joint Sakura. I actually beat John in the second game– scored an all-time personal high of 130. Yeah!

We had dinner at a new Italian restaurant (the first one we’ve tried in Shanghai) called Settebello. Seriously, it was the best western food we’ve had here. I guess the original Settebello is somewhere in Canada, but this one has the exact same menu. John had veal obussuco (frown), and I had duck tagliani. We reminisced and laughed about all our past ghetto apartments. It was weird too thinking of us in the pre-Remy and Martin days…. was too long ago.

On Tuesday, I had an interview for a personal assistant job for the executive director of a French PR firm. The interview went really well, until he discovered I was an American citizen (instead of Chinese citizen). That screwed me over. I swear, around here I’m always getting screwed over–either for my citizenship or my ethnicity. Fucking pain in the ass. Would have been interesting to work in PR. I mainly wanted the experience– marketing/advertising/sales skills never hurt. Actually, they’d be super helpful to boosting NGO budgets. Speaking of non-profit, I start tutoring Wang Hong, the supervisor of our local salon in September. English literacy. She’s really nervous about learning English, but I told her if she learned Chinese (and other dialects), English should be cake.

On Wednesday, I had my SABIC class. It went well. The last several lessons have focused more on class writing exercises. The students really like that format (vs. lecture). Of course, they’re still not very participatory, but oh well. They’ve been slacking off lately with homework, and at first, I was offended. But Helen told me that they just don’t have time outside of work to do homework. It’s not me, thank goodness. Nonetheless, the director Melvin asked that I administer an exam in September. Fun!

On Thursday night, I went to the Oriented happy hour at Mint. Unlike last month’s event, it was at a really nice venue off Nanjing Xi Road. John didn’t want to attend, so I went with Helen. We had a great time. Met all kinds of new people, including a French dude who is fluent in Mandarin, a Dutch lady, a Brit, some CBC’s (Canadian-born Chinese–who knew?), and some locals. Funny thing, the Dutch lady actually works part-time for Rainbow Consulting— the company that wants to hire me for the Citigroup gig. She filled me in on some scoop. 🙂

Helen and I chatted on the way to the metro. She started asking me about Remy and Martin–if they would have puppies together. I explained that animal control centers in the US spay/neuter the adopted animals. I was surprised by her reaction: she was half-horrified, half amazed. “Family planning for dogs?” Geez, when she put it that way, it did sound rather absurd. I had to revisit the idea later on… somehow hearing it in those terms, I felt negative about it too, which was strange because I had never ever questioned spay/neuter programs for animals. Fortunately, after talking it over with John, I was reminded that these measures are necessary. It’s either spay/neuter or euthanasia. Anyway, it was a funny comment from Helen.

My damn laptop’s been acting up again. It randomly shuts off. I took it back to the shop, and Mr. Zhang said all the circuitry grease (?) dried up so he put more on. Hopefully that will resolve the issue. Of course, right after I picked up my laptop and left the store, it dropped out of my bike basket and got banged up. Goddamnit. It fell on its corner so all these pieces broke off. Fortunately, the damage is only cosmetic (cross my fingers!). Fucking computer. John insists that at 3.5 years, it’s time for a new one. And this laptop has certainly had its share of problems. Still, I love it. I still think it’s blazing fast, and generally it handles everything I want. I know, my pathetic love affair with my laptop. What can you do.

John and I recently found a new DVD store. Last few nights, we’ve been watching Brad. Ocean’s Eleven and then River Runs Through It. As high-school as this sounds, he is just so damn hot. Sigh! John (and the rest of the world agrees).

Oh, John found a Taiwanese restaurant called Steak King. We ate there last night. It’s cheap and has a really large menu with western and Chinese foods. And down a few doors, we found a dessert place with the best almond tofu ever!!

There’s supposedly a pet expo in town this weekend. I think we’re gonna check it out later this afternoon. Maybe find some new toys or gizmos for the pups. Have a good weekend.

Oh! This just in: I’ve finally convinced Bubs to join the blogging world. Give him a couple days, but after that, have at it!

Workwise, August has been a bit slow. Consequently, I started sending out another batch of cover letters/resumes, responding to job postings in the popular expat magazine that’s shanghai. I guess I was sort of sending my info out half-heartedly, because I pretty much responded to anything metnioning writing, editing, or teaching. One ad said it was a health and beauty company, and they were searching for a product/marketing writer. Well, most of you probably would have intuitively stayed away, but I have no intuition. Plus, I’m fairly naive. I guess was thinking of a Gaiam or Aveda or Body Shop-type of place… It was vague and I didn’t know, but what the hell. Could be fun….

I got an email from their HR last week. The company is called landune. After reviewing my resume, they asked me to submit some writing samples. So I go to the company website to learn more. Turns out, they’re a company based in HK and SH, and they sell like four products in very specific categories: scar removal, skin whitening, anti-wrinkle , and breast enhancement. Scar removal and anti-wrinkle? Fine. Skin whitening? Not so cool: I see the obsession in China with skin bleaching, and it ain’t cool (why is being white some global prerequisite for ideal beauty?). But the real kicker is the breat enhancement crap. I mean, does that sound like a load of bull or what? Sure, in my earlier years I went through hell with my various insecurities (and I don’t think I’ll ever rid myself of them completely…), but even then these magical treatments sounded like scams. And now I’m almost 30; it’s so annoying that this shit sells. Goddamn beauty industry:it’s so evil and yet so many of us still get sucked in on some level. Anyway, I’m not gonna submit writing samples. I just can’t bring myself to write untruthful statements claiming “proven” scientific results and play on women’s already debilitating insecurities.

In other news, anyone outside of the beltway hear about Washingtonienne? The news broke months ago about the firing of a 26-year old Capitol Hill stafffer who authored a blog about her racy sex life, involving several DC power players… Sadly, it is yet another example of how society continues to reward and value women less for their intellect/competence and more for sex. In typical fucked-up fashion, this former Hill staffer skyrocketted from an unchallening $25k/year admin assist/mailwoman job to getting a $300k book deal to dish on her DC sex life AND a feature in the fall issue of Playboy. Not that I’d like to write a sex book (ha!) or appear in Playboy, but jesus christ! $300k??! That’s a shitload of money. Reality is just such a damn beotch. It makes me think again to Rob Gifford’s NPR series on China earlier this month. So many women in China turn to protitution. Why? Partly because earning a living is tough in a land where the labor supply is virtually infinite. And partly because poverty pushes people to desperate measures, and society pays women more as prostitutes/karaoke escorts/drinking buddies than as degreed office workers.

I go in waves here. At first, I was ready to conquer the world. I planned to join forces with the SH Women’s Federation and help them with training at their education center or their legal assistant center or their domestic violence clinic. I’ve slowly realized that all of those facilities, which they claimed were established for women here, are shams. They cannot possibly exist, as I have never found any contact information. When I attended the US-China Women’s Conference in April, the SH groups essentially told me I was not welcome to join their activities. Argh.

I thought about branching out on my own, but the system here is vast. In many cases, you simply fall under the radar, but in other instances, there’s just so much damn red tape. The government has too many urgent items on its agenda, and dealing with issues that cause any bit of “losing face” is not something it’s interested in publicizing. That means, denial is very widespread, for example, denial about the existence of sexism, of domestic violence, of sex trafficking. Recently, the government has acknowledged some problems (for example, HIV/AIDS, avian flu, SARS), but still the accountability is minimal and they spend more time on damage control than on finding solutions. On top of that, laws are interpreted inconsistently and officials are notorious for acting on whims. So what does this mean? I feel constrained–unable to do what I originally had hoped. I’ve tried to start something on my own, but these issues invariably bump into the realm of government enforcement/involvement. I’m afraid to jeopardize my safety. I tried contacting international groups for leads or assistance. It seems few NGOs have made inroads in China. For those with offices in China, the link between the Chinese office and say the US office is extremely weak– to the point that they don’t really seem to communicate. The Chinese office is completely run by locals. So for now, I feel I’m at an impasse. I even tried to offer free English lessons to low-paid women in the salon service sector– people expressed interest but when it came down to starting classes, they never went forward. I don’t know if it’s some kind of distrust or suspicion or what.

I think I will just focus on my personal goals. I am learning more characters– when I go out, I am recognizing more signs and figuring out flyers better. I am trying to build my network. (BTW, are any of you on Friendster? If so, add me to your list!) I’m watching Chinese movies– getting into the drama of it all.

Also, I forgot to mention. I’m in talks with a local HR consulting firm. They’ve put in a bid to train about 200 staffers at the SH Citigroup Software office. We met with the Citigroup COO and VP last week. Hopefully, we’ll get the gig. That’ll be some steady, longer term work.

Ok enough with my issues. I’ll trouble you with more later. 🙂