Category Archives: Travel

Daughters of Immigrant Parents 

Holy crap, I cannot believe it is the end of October. I really hustled to finish the month out strong…. I had an open house in Menlo Park Saturday and Sunday in hopes of squeezing in an offer before flying off to Taiwan on Monday. Sadly, no such luck. I’ve had the worst experiences with Menlo Park, actually. It’s a trendy city in the more expensive San Mateo County, so for both properties I was hopeful, but I dunno, the streets are really difficult to place signs bc the roads have no shoulder or have cars parked everywhere. It’s been a real pain and then I got no traffic through the open house. Given, the properties were on the market longer than usual but still… anyway, note to self: No more Menlo Park. Stick to what I know in Santa Clara County.

The interesting thing I’ve learned though while working with my Vietnamese loan agent and my Indian buyers… the immigrant experience really is a powerful life influence. Like when I had my homebuying class and I talked about handling a lot of matters for my parents, the attendees really got it. And so many times, my friend C the loan officer is on the phone handling transactions for her aunt or cousins or whatever. It’s a lot of extra work and tedious shit too like reviewing HOA docs or managing bank accounts or legal contracts…. I dunno. Sometimes it’s comforting to know we share common experiences, but man, Asian daughters have to handle so much shit. C was telling me how her parents bought a house that her brother and his wife live in. Sound familiar? And her brother is always benefiting from being the Asian son. He’s not even responsible or helpful with anything. He just reaps all the benefits without having to lift a fucking finger. Meanwhile, bc C is single, the people in family, esp the women, are constantly cutting her down. Her grandmother ridicules her and calls her an old maid and “leftover” woman. She accuses her of being a man. I get so worked up and pissed off when I hear that shit. It really just highlights how sexist Asian culture still is. Meanwhile she handles all important matters, financing, legal stuff, etc. and her brother does nothing. And she’s the one getting called names. Again, it’s that Asian style of parenting where people think name calling and shaming will motivate you to somehow have a different outcome. It’s so demeaning and manipulative. I think it helps C to know that I understand the criticism bc I have seen it. But man, esp before my trip to Taiwan, it gets me super on edge. Like if my relatives say anything to get under my skin, I will just fucking blow up.

Of course, as the universe would plan it, Johnny keeps emailing my dad’s email account. Last week was a YouTube video by an ex pharma sales guy who basically said the pharmaceutical business is all about making money. Then, there was a video about the dangers of the flu vaccine. This week he sent some video with tips about what husbands can do to maintain a good marriage. I mean, generally I am all about the self help and learning how to improve my relationships, but advice from my selfish, never been married brother? Puhleeze. Step the fuck off, man child.

It irks me so much I’m going to tell Dad I’m done monitoring his emails. He can either block this bullshit content, tell Johnny to stop spreading his antivax propaganda, or he can monitor his own goddamn email. So fucking annoying to see this garbage on a daily basis.

Meanwhile, my colleague at the office keeps telling me I’m so lucky to be going on vacation. Ok woman, Taiwan is NOT a fucking vacation ok? It’s going to take all the energy in the world for me not to blow up at my mother. Remember my trip last year? And the one before that? Granted, I know now what I didn’t know then— that my mother has cognitive issues. So yes, I’m supposed to be extra tolerant and compassionate. I agree that the diseases have not helped with her mental processing. That said, she said and did plenty of damage even when she was of sound mind… but who’s holding a grudge, right?

I always try my best to channel my beloved Bubbey, but ultimately, I am who I am. Sigh. Wish me luck. At least I’ll have our Rover client Sadie Spunkmeyer greeting us the day we get back Stateside!

Emerald City

J and I are back from a few days in Seattle. We headed up after the Labor Day holiday for a mini escape and to chill with our friends G and J. We had a great time. G&J recently had a baby girl and they also recently finished a major basement remodel… I say all this bc clearly their tolerance for “projects” and disruptions is very high. G insists that her kids are very good, and from my limited exposure, it does seem like the toddler and baby are both obedient, even-tempered, and champion sleepers. Still, the parents deserve plenty of credit. There is just a way about both G&J that is so distinctly different from J and me. And I keep coming back to this theme over and over again: Bubs and I are highly susceptible to annoyance and irritation bc I dunno: we (but I especially) are just impatient as fuck.

For example, this happens a lot when we travel, and it happens ESPECIALLY frequently when we are in Seattle: we decide to go somewhere and then on the way there, we get frustrated with the traffic and once we arrive in the vicinity, parking is a beotch. Then there was a crazy line. Be it food, the museum, a city attraction, the boba shop….

Like one morning, we selected a place to go for breakfast, then we sat through shitty traffic to get there, we eventually found parking, and bam, the place was CLOSED due to some random gas line problem! Last year when we were in Seattle, we hit up this highly rated boba place. We got there when it was posted to open at 10:30 and it still wasn’t open. Waited ten minutes. Nothing. Then we went to a park and same shit. The Nature Center posted a sign that staff would be back at x time and then it was x + 30 min and they were still gone. This trip, it happened again for the SAME boba place, then a second boba place (they just changed their fall hours), then I needed to use the bathroom at a third tea shop and no bathroom. Yeah, some weird stacking of bad juju. Story of our traveling life!

Needless to say, every time these glitches happen, I get irritable bc I’m hungry or my bladder is about to explode or I’ve been driving longer than I had anticipated and Bubbey is pissing me off as a navigator… I get really irked. But then I ask that question: “What would G do?” And I know that she wouldn’t waste her energy getting upset. She would just go to the next option and move on to Plan B. Shrug. I’m trying to work on my tolerance. To a small extent, I do try to keep it inside in hopes that the negative energy will dissipate. That said, I suppose there will always be some element of histrionics. I am my parents’ daughter after all, and if anything, I suppose it makes for decent blogging fodder. 🙂

Beyond that minor stuff, we had a lovely time hanging with our buds and also going around the city solo. It was a good mix of friend time and self exploration. J and I found a very cool Japanese store, chock full of stationery, kitchen wares, makeup, food… It was a very clean and tidy all-in-one shop adjacent to a Japanese supermarket. So much spiffier than Chinese markets, but J said the prices are also triple, so obviously, I just browsed and didn’t buy. Regardless, that place occupied us for a couple hours. We also did a lot of walking around the various districts: Ballard, West Seattle, downtown… On the home front, we had full use of their new basement palace, which is deluxe: living room, tv, bedroom, bathroom— a whole renovated floor with +/- 1000sf of living space.

Weather-wise, Seattle was unseasonably hot and muggy– I’ve never been in Seattle with hazy and ashy air (wildfires). That kept us from doing too much outdoor activity– that plus we are out-of-shape and lazy. Our last night there, my friend D and his Japanese wife came over and we all ordered takeout. She was a really nice lady: very kind (she volunteers at the animal shelter) and adventurous (they’v done a good bit of traveling, including staying at castles in Portugal!). And they are preggers! It really is something else to see people transition into different phases of life… I mean, sure, we’re all essentially the same people we were decades ago but dang, so many new responsibilities and perspectives! Makes me think of my college roommate. She just had her second kid. Honestly, I didn’t even know she was preggers and then one day on FB, there’s a posting about mommy and baby girl doing fine. Huh, when did THAT happen? I still have to adjust a little, bc my strongest impressions/memories of her are from three years of living together as college kids. Now she is a mom of two. SMH. It’s weird. Then again, I’m pretty sure she still sees me as that uber serious, very strict/square, stressed out, nervous Nelly. Little does she know, this Vix is the toned down version!! How’d THAT happen, right? Life, man.

Can’t Be Bothered

I was lamenting to my friend M the other day that being in startup mode makes me hyper sensitive to inconvenience. Like I’m so much in the zone, that I just don’t want to be bothered with anything. Examples? A trip to Europe with Bubbey. Or maintaining my side shave. Or going away for the weekend. Or eating lunch. Or continuing that skateboarding class. Or cooking at home. Or getting a dog, even. I just want to focus on building my biz.

And something about that feels so weird. I mean, not so much the vacation or hairstyle or that stuff: I’ve always been reluctant to take time off and leave work… but definitely something seems amiss with the dog thing. I mean, I love dogs so damn much. They have been such a huge part of my life, and to think that I don’t want to experience that relationship and that joy simply bc I don’t want to be distracted feels really narrow-minded. It bugs me too that already we have talked about getting a dog first around my bday in June and then that got postponed to August and now we’re talking about pushing it off again…

I really want to understand why this was happening. Sure, I’m very serious about my business. But seeing as I have been Rovering since Marty died, obviously, I can handle dog care AND the biz concurrently. Then, I was thinking about this mild fear that the new dog won’t live up to my expectations. I mean, after all, I am my parents’ daughter, so the comparison game is all up in my blood. Is that fair to the new doggie that s/he be compared to Remy and Martin, my angels on Earth? And then of course, there are the logistics. I mean, caring for an animal is a big commitment for another 10-15 years and with the overseas relatives and elderfolks and what have you, it can get complicated. Nothing we haven’t juggled before, but like I said, I’m super sensitive about my lifestyle right now.

M said maybe this all just means I need to give myself more time. I’ll do it when I’m ready. But I’m really bothered by my aversion to inconvenience. It’s such a shitty attitude! Some things are worth the bother! For example, I’ve always complained about going home for Christmas and/or blowing my PTO visiting family in Taiwan… It’s always SO much trouble, traveling during the holidays and shuttling around from place to place. But in retrospect, what I’ve realized this year is that if I had given in to my feelings of annoyance and dread, I would have missed some very important final moments with people we love. I did those things prompted by obligation and by compromise but ultimately, it was the right decision. And I feel like getting a dog might be a similar vein.

The point is, as much as I value independence and freedom to do whatever the fuck I want, I’m also a firm believer that there is value in the struggle. Discomfort = growth. Plus, you know the Chinese LOVE the concept of “eating bitter.” The more sacrifice, the sweeter the reward. Ha!

Long story short, I started looking at the puppy porn again this evening. I got Remy when she was six months and Marty we got when he was like 2 y/o. I always thought the next dog would still be an adult. But then I started perusing Copper’s Dream. OMFG. I mean, look at these faces. Already I have like three or four PUPPIES on my short list. Look how beautiful Rhea is!! Great Dane/Pointer. She’s gonna be biggins. Or maybe we’ll do the foster-to-adopt route with Zoey 2. Shit man, it’s like midnight and now I have a major case of puppy fever!!!

Practically speaking, we do have a lot of travel coming up: Wilmington this month, then Seattle/Vancouver and Austin in September, then Taiwan (maybe Seoul enroute) in November… I’m running out of time with my Companion Pass and I want to hit up Portland again, maybe Idaho, Chicago, and Wisconsin… Eek. And work: I gotta get more deals!! Argh. We’ll just have to juggle and make it all fit somehow. Sometimes, the juice is worth the squeeze.

The Startup Lifestyle

There are no two ways about it: I am currently living the startup lifestyle. I say that not to glamorize anything, but rather to describe the 24/7 live, breathe, eat-mentality of my current season. Having worked for a startup many years back and well, being the spouse of a serial startupper, it’s times like these when I’m so grateful to be childfree. Seriously, if we had kids, they would surely starve and die bc my tunnelvision is no joke. Remember how I gave myself UTI as a kid? Yeah. Even now as an adult, I will forget to eat. I’m not bragging about it: it’s not a good thing, but I’m just crazy that way.

Part of it is that neither J nor I have ever been good at balancing and compartmentalizing. We are also chronic overthinkers and in some facets, we are perfectionists. So being in this place where the work and industry is new and I’m not knowledgeable or experienced, it taps into insecurities that I can only counter with work obsession. And then bc it’s like my own business, there are a gabillion other things to keep afloat, like what’s my next lead gen activity, what’s my marketing piece, how do I figure out closing gifts, what am I doing to cultivate existing leads, etc. Like I was supposed to start farming new neighborhoods with mailers, but I haven’t done any of that. And I need to be doorknocking again… it never ends. The good part is that I like working. The bad part is I can get very single-tracked when I’m in the zone.

For example, ever since J left his last startup a year ago, he’s wanted to hit up Europe. But I had that sales prospecting class in May and then things finally started to warm up… I just wouldn’t take the time off. Honestly, I just want to keep pounding. Thankfully, Bubs realized soon enough that he needed to make his plans without me, and he was fully prepared to travel solo. Then Susan decided to join last minute. They get along well together, and given the last year they’ve had, I’m happy she is accompanying him.

So while Bubs is on his European jaunt, I’m holding down the fort. Still scheduling open houses every weekend. I’m aiming for one in-office appointment per week. I’m also dogsitting Stormy (16 days). She’s a great dog, who is active and playful but also I’m so glad she’s super low maintenance. It’s working out well.

I have to say, I’m very excited for my first commission check coming July 10. I’ve been basically bootstrapping the business since late November: between association memberships and dues, office fees, equipment, infrastructure, gas, etc… it all adds up. After almost 8 months in, I’ve racked up about $8k in expenses. Yeah, my laptop crapped out and so I needed a new one. Same with our home printer. Plus gas from all that shuttling around… It’ll be nice to get my first chunk of change. That said, I’m already itching for the next deal…

Today is July 4. I already made a followup call to some potential buyers who came in for a consultation last night. Mind you, my colleague referred them to me earlier this week bc the clients wanted a Chinese-speaking agent. Wowee, they were REALLY Chinese. So the entire meeting was done in Mandarin. I felt like I communicated decently with them, but there was definitely a little bit of Taboo going around, where I didn’t have the specific real estate terminology so I had to describe around it…

In preparation, I had called my parents the night before and I had also consulted Google translate, but they weren’t much help. Today, the buyers are backing off a bit, a little gun shy, bc they are first-time homebuyers and the house they’re keen on needs fumigation (NBD for this area) and a new roof, among other repairs. My colleague wants to still put on the gas and retain them as clients… I dunno. We’ll see where that goes.

I’m headed to a BBQ tonight and while I’m down in San Jose, I’m going to preview a few homes in the area where the buyers are looking. Might as well be efficient about my travel time. 🙂

Tour Guide

Last week, our nieces were in town, accompanying their mother who was working a conference in SF. J and I were in charge of the two preteen girls for two days. Admittedly, I don’t really have much interaction with kids. I guess growing up in my very non-celebratory family and with my cousins, aunts, and uncles living in Taiwan, my family dynamics are generally very distant. So the thought of chaperoning our nieces for two days kind of stressed me out. J was in charge of getting some feedback from the girls’ parents so we could narrow our choices. Long story short, we got the whole “They’re flexible and will do anything” runaround. I know everyone was just trying to be nice esp bc they know we’re like childfree with limited kid experience, but man, the ambiguity only made things more challenging.

Ah well, we went up to SF on Monday, with the plan being to check out Lombard St., Muir Woods, the trolley cars, and Fisherman’s Wharf. Well, I dunno why I was even surprised, but shit, due to traffic and “city problems,” everything thing took forever. Logistically, the poor girls were like trapped in our car for hours with Uncle J driving like a lunatic. Note to self: for any future visit to Muir Woods, drive to Sausalito and take the bus in, bc there is ZERO parking. Parking was so bad, J just circled around while the girls and I walked the park for 90 minutes. Afterwards, we were WAY beyond lunch time and then headed to Sausalito for lunch. At 2:30pm, the wait for lunch was 45 minutes. What? Yeah, we finally ate around 3:30pm and then it was time to battle the traffic back down the peninsula. The girls were great sports about everything, but I’m sure they were famished, windblown, chilled to the bone, and/or bored. For Day 2, we hit up Fisherman’s Wharf, Ghirardelli Square, and the trolley cars. But man, it was so freaking windy. I mean, honestly, I am way over SF. It’s just one of those things where the juice ain’t worth the squeeze. Haha, we have the lowest tolerance for inconvenience EVER. The thing is, ultimately, we don’t even know if the girls had a good time. A part of me suspects that they would have been happiest just hanging out at home watching tv. Shrug. It’s hard to tell with the young-ins, I tell you.

Trip Home

I forgot to update on our short trip home last weekend. What can I say: I still always feel some element of dread when I’m about to see my parents. It’s like a constant reminder of how to live life differently. Not in all ways, but in many ways. 

My father made some progress geting rid of stuff. And actually, his former office manager came to the house on Sunday with her kids and a huge trailer to haul off my old bedroom furniture and some new twin mattresses from the basement. I was glad that they turned out to be serious/actual takers and our stuff is going to be used. But I got so overwhelmed by it all, even just cleaning out my bedroom in prep for them to take the furniture. I mean, there’s like 35 years worth of stuff in that house. Nathalie drove up from NC for the weekend and helped, but she could see that it was too much for me. She reiterated the same things John has said: don’t waste your remaining time fighting and arguing with them about downsizing logistics. After they are gone, you will have full control over how to get shit done. It’s so true, and yet the clutter and stuff just stresses me out. N also commented about how old my parents are getting. It’s been probably seven years since she saw them, and I mean, obviously they are a much frailer version of their former selves.

And my mother is not well. Dad has been wanting to stimulate her brain with Chinese puzzles and games, but she is kinda beyond that now. We tried playing Chinese checkers and she kept playing a turn when it wasn’t her turn. I’ve seen this behavior before with my maternal grandmother and mahjong. Of course, my maternal grandmother is in her 90s. My mom isn’t even 70. Dad had been saying that he’s noticing more cognitive decline, and I was thinking he was just overreacting: mom has always been confused. But John also noticed. 

This trip I really observed how faithful and loyal my father is with my mother. He repeats his answers to her even when she asks the same shit over and over. He still is patient and remains her dedicated companion. He doesn’t show frustration or resentment towards her about it… he just remains true. It makes me wonder about my future. It is so hard for me to be patient and kind to my parents… even knowing what I know about her illness. I have my doubts about my caretaking abilities. And a part of me also worries about my own mental state. If I lose my cognition, what will happen to me? There is some element of fear for the future– both theirs and mine.

I see too the emotional burden this takes on my father. He has a history of taking on burdens and of being the dependable one for everyone. But I worry about his mental state, bc I know caretaking is incredibly taxing. Mom is supposed to get the results of her MRI on May 31. She is taking meds that are supposed to slow the cognitive decline, but the decline is still apparent.

I think the emotional toll on my dad is manifesting in the form of procrastination and paralysis regarding the house and his real estate properties in the area. I can understand the overwhlem and how debilitating it is. So for now, my offer is to suggest California as an option for their US base. Move out of MD, and get something in CA. Yes, it’s expensive and taxes are insane. But Stanford is right down the road, John and I are here, there is a legit Chinese community here, AND Taiwan is a direct flight away. For so many other reasons, CA just makes sense. 

After I got back from Maryland, I made a ton of calls and found a Chinese-speaking neurologist and geriatric specialist in my area. I confirmed that both physicians take Medicare. I got my mother registered as a new patient with PAMF, should she want to get care here. They may come out in July to stay for a week or so, before flying on to Taiwan. I suggested making some medical appointments for that time.

My mother is also speaking exclusively in Chinese at his point– probably bc they don’t really socialize much in MD. Taiwan offers more stimulation for her. My dad can’t be her one-stop shop for everything: socialization, activities, etc. Anyway, all of it is pretty damn depressing. And every visit, I’m still reminded of how distant we are: we just don’t have a close relationship. But I suppose rather than be disappointed and frustrated, I have to focus on what I can do for them. I do know how to get things done, and if that is the only thing I can do for my parents, I’ll be damn good at that.
Meanwhile, my MIL is in a similar boat. She has been going to physical therapy which has given her more stamina. That said, she’s still getting older, like everyone else. With every visit, the changes become more and more apparent. I know I’m like a perpetually stressed-out person, but this period in my life truly feels unlike any other. It’s almost as if all past periods of stress were like fake or trial runs or I dunno, tiny niblets building up. I thought those times were really serious, but I see how that the shit is just now starting to hit the fan. I feel neither ready nor prepared, but I guess that is the theme for life from here on out.

Changing for Love

Earlier this month, J and I headed to Nashville for a long weekend meeting up with my college bud J and his girlfriend M. In my head, I’ve always likened my friend J to Steve Carrell’s character in The 40-Year Old Virgin, bc he was such a cool guy and yet he had never really had a gf. I mean, he definitely has his peculiarities and certain obsessions, but really, who among us doesn’t? For some period, his college roommate, also a friend of mine, suggested that maybe J was gay or asexual, but I knew that simply wasn’t true. How and why? Bc J crushed big time on MY college roommate back in the day.

Anyway, through the years, I would sometimes broach the subject of dating, but he never seemed in a hurry. I wondered if maybe he was just one of those guys who treasured his independence and freedom. After all, sometimes I still yearn for those days when you really just do whatever the fuck you want.

Fast forward 30+ years after college, and J is dating (and moving in soon) with a wonderful woman. Always the adventurous traveler, J joined a backpacking group over a year ago and befriended none other than the head organizer. To me, it’s just magical to see that someone as quirky and as unique as J has found a match! They get along so well: she’s super positive and practically bubbly and that complements his cynicism and sarcasm. She’s also adventurous and fearless; he’s adventurous but more risk-averse and cautious. It’s a nice melding of two extremes.

And I have to say: to all those people who always tell me people just don’t change. I disagree. People DO change, but they change for different reasons and under different circumstances. I always knew J to be uber tidy and obsessive about his environment. Everything had its specific place. Everything was meticulous. On the flip side, M is much messier, more spontaneous. Whenever J and I ate a meal, he was like THE slowest eater ever. My friends and I used to joke that he counted the number of chews before swallowing each bite. This trip, he mostly kept pace, and you know Bubs and I scarf our meals down like a team of Hoover vacuums. There were other changes:

  • J is a strong introvert, and the thought of being later in the queue on a Southwest flight (based on how soon you check-in online) is a stressful situation. On our trip, when it was time to check in for their return flight to Boston, he was totally ready, like minutes in advance, right. Meanwhile, M was super casual and free. She fumbled around loading the app and was bumbling around figuring out how to check in, while J was super eager to get the job done. In any other scenario, the lack of readiness would have bothered him. But M laughed and teased and that really diffused his uptightness.
  • I remember too that when we were in Miami, he NEVER wanted me to take pictures. M is all about photos, and she loves cheesy posed pics too: she asks him to pose and he always obliges.
  • Oh and another thing: J is kinda a germaphobe. Like I said, he is very clean. Well, they told us this story about him getting her a bone box. You see, she’s an environmentalist by profession and by hobby. She works for an environmental agency issuing permits, and like I mentioned, she leads those backpacking groups. She also leads birding and naturalist classes for the local community education program. She also hikes and runs A LOT outside of all those activities. (Yes, J and I got another huge reminder this trip that we are out of shape and something needs to change. Seriously, we had like no stamina and energy, esp in the Tennessee heat.) Anyway, back to the story: As a birder and naturalist, M has all kinds of taxidermy critters and animal skulls. So for her bday, J got her a bone box, which is essentially a container into which you place an animal body part and beetles come into the box and pick the bone clean. So the story is that she obtained a bear head, and she put the frozen head into the bone box. But bc she set the box up off the ground a bit, the beetles couldn’t get in, so the whole thing turned into a nasty rotting mess. The solution? She got J to help her boil the thing in a big cauldron outside to then tear off the flesh. And J helped her with all of this!!! It’s pretty dang amazing. I mean, who do you know who would help someone boil a fleshy bear skull?!?! That’s what I mean! The things we do for love. SMH.

He’s still the same person, just a freer, more relaxed, and happier version. And I think watching them reminds me of my relationship with John. I have always been a control freak, and we’ve certainly had some very bumpy roads in our path together, but in the end, I know that relinquishing some of my control and uptightness made me a more balanced and adjusted person. If it weren’t for Bubs, I would be so much more serious and rigid and unyielding: I would be fighting so many more battles on so many fronts, bc I would never let things go.

I’m really thrilled for my friend J. And I will say: M is a big time doer, which I really like. I mean, I can see how she balances J out, and he’s in a good place. She gives his introverted self that extra boost to get out of his head and do things. Another plus: by the time John and I got to the airport for our flight home, I received a link to a Google Photos album with amazing pictures from our weekend. Haha, I could get used to this level of effortless travel. 🙂

A Week Ago in Baja

About one week ago, we are just getting back from San Jose del Cabo. I finally got around to uploading our pics. Indeed, we were in a stunning place for a few days. And yet, J and I, being the Pu Pu Platters that we are, still found reasons to complain. I know, we are incorrigible. But I am inspired by my friends who are positive people: I’m going to focus less on the negative and just talk about the positive.

We had a totally sweet room– it was probably the size of the whole front half of the Houseboat. The resort also had like a gabillion swimming pools. Plus, our room was like 100 meters from the ocean. And our resort basically offer private access to the beach. My favorite part of the trip was Bubbey’s bday dinner at the onsite fancy Mexican-French fusion restaurant, Cafe des Artistes. When we walked in for our reservation, they asked if we were celebrating a special ocassion. Indeed, we were! After they found it it was J’s bday, they treated us to two complimentary glasses of bubbly, and then when we were seated at our table, they had decorated the top with a bunch of festive confetti bits. It was lovely. And the food/service were really impeccable. For dessert, they came out with a mirrored tray covered with goodies, a beautiful sugar syrup sculpture designed like a giftbox, and a little sparkler! Then, the wait staff gathered around the table and sang happy bday! It was just fantastic and I wish my pic weren’t so blurry (it was dim in there), but Bubbey’s face showed such delight.

Overall, I would recommend the spot with the caveat that the resort is indeed isolated. And the restaurants on site, except for Cafe des Artistes, serve western fare. If those don’t bother you, the facility and grounds are just gorgeous. There’s an onsite spa, live music at the restaurants at night, a huge kids center, a fitness center, plus freebie activities like yoga and mezcal or tequila tastings. Yes, we indulged in the mezcal tasting bc you know how I am about amenities. :)[FAG id=7506]

Bombogenesis

Well, we’re getting hit with another week of freakish weather. I know, people elsewhere in the country might think we California softies are just crying wolf, but hell, even the weather pros are calling this a “bombogenesis.” Yes, that’s the term the weather peeps are using for this weather bomb of high winds and rain! You’d think they’d coin a better word… I mean is bombogenesis a disease or some bizarre Biblical reference? WTF. Regardless, this heavy, pouring rain is getting to be ridic.

The good news is that we haven’t (yet) suffered any downed trees or power outages on the Houseboat, though that’s not to say shit couldn’t happen. My next door neighbor had a monster eucalyptus tree crash in his yard last year, just barely hitting the house. He and the wife were so concerned about further crashes that for few days while they wanted for crews to chainsaw the remaining branches and stabilize the tree, they slept in the other bedroom. Yikes.

I’m a little concerned too that our wet roof is well, getting more and more drenched. I sure hope nothing comes through the ceiling inside. The ground cover in my front yard (which I had re-designed last year to be drought-tolerate) is filling in nicely, but the roots of our ash tree, which in the past clogged our plumbing, is coming back with a vengeance. Suddenly, home ownership is sounding rather burdensome, right?

In other news, Bubs got back last night… just before the soaking wet blew in. He’s pretty pooped and still kinda on East Coast time. But we booked our hotel for Los Cabos next week. Woohoo! Actually, I had scored an awesome deal on a smaller local resort, but in the end, we upgraded to the JW Marriott. There’s just something consistent about those MNCs (multinational corporations). The biggest tip I wanted to share though? Thank goodness for my Costco card… especially for travel bookings. For example, consider the Cabo Marriott booking:

Hotels.com/Priceline.com: $659/night
Marriott.com (AAA rate): $521
Costco Travel: $421.

Yeah, it’s higher than I would normally do, but what can I say, it’s been a shitty last month. But seriously, isn’t the price difference just insane? I’m telling you: no matter what, whether it’s shoes or home improvement or whatever, you gotta comparison shop your ass!!!

Mountain Retreat

Well, I’m finally back to my Silicon Valley bubble. I’m pretty proud of myself for surviving five days and four nights in one of the most uninhabitable places on Earth. Think I’m exaggerating? Um, it was 5 degrees our first morning there. I was consistently dressed in three layers on the bottom and 5+ layers on the top, not to mention gloves, hats, multiple socks. Whew, I am glad to be home.

Other than the elements, the trip was a good time. There were seven of us total… two couples and three single gals. Except for me, all the ladies were connected to Nathalie via veterinary school at St. George’s in Grenada. Their grad class was 2005, so they’ve all been out in the real world practicing for over ten years already. I pretty much got along with everyone there… Initially, I was on the quiet side, getting acclimated to the altitude (7500 ft.) and the cold and I mean, being the odd man out. The spouses of the two gals were one quiet and one extroverted, but man, we were from all over! Nathalie is a small animal vet in North Carolina, then one couple ran a beef cattle ranch in Minnesota (the wife is a slaughterhouse inspector for the USDA), another couple lived in Florida (the vet is a surgeon), and then the other lady was an ER vet in South Carolina. It’s pretty funny, bc as with any group, there’s a quieter one, a feisty and opinionated one, and then more accommodating personalities. According to them, vets tend to be Type A personalities, and from the get go, I knew I was running in a different crowd bc I didn’t have to plan a damn thing! All the logistics were worked out, and anytime there was a question or point of confusion, the other people jumped without a second’s hesitation to ask the resort staff and get answers immediately. So different from traveling with Bubs, you know? Haha.

At one point, one of them asked me how I felt being thrown into their group. Was it awkward or weird? I was like, “Um, I have a very long history of social awkwardness so it is not a big deal being the odd person out. That’s practically my life story.” Truth.

Some other interesting observations. This was my first time doing an all-inclusive resort package kind of thing. We had the biggest lodge on campus, the Ridgetop at the top of the hill. That place was MONSTER, and everything worked out such that we all had our own rooms with even a full suite to spare. The Discovery package included lodging, meals, ski/snowshoe rentals, the sleigh ride, shuttles to the airport one hour away… it was pretty sweet and given the amount of amenities we used and the food we consumed, I think it was well worth what we paid. It is esp nice not having to figure out the bill at the end of each meal and tip and what not.

On the other hand, bc everything was included, the bargain side of me kicked in, and I’m sure we easily consumed 6000+ calories a day. The food was delicious but it was cowboy fare, so lots of (gourmet) meat and starches. Four days straight of that diet, and it’s enough to kill you. Seriously, my clothes were getting tighter and tighter day by day. When I complained to Bubbey, he replied, “Well, I don’t see anybody shoveling all that food down your piehole.” Touche, Mr. Tough Love. No sympathy there.

Sure, we participated in a lot of intense activities: a morning sleigh ride, three hours of snowshoeing, x-country skiing, hot tubbing, plus all the trudging up and down the hill from our lodge… Nevertheless, I know we weren’t even close to breaking even on the calories. Oh well. Detox begins today.

My biggest conclusion from the adventure? I really do hate the snow and cold. Like in the past, I thought maybe I could live in Chicago or Vancouver or something. Nope, I am no longer deluded. Yeah sure, the landscape is majestic and beautiful, but shit, I cannot be inconvenienced with having to spend ten extra minutes putting the layers on and off. It’s a good thing N and I go way back (7th grade!), bc I really don’t think I’m doing that ever again. Just saying. I like the mountains, but I’m never going in the winter. Note to self. Mark my words.

My fav part of the trip was def the dog sledding, despite my propensity for near-death experiences. On day 1, when we went down to the dining lodge for breakfast, we all dressed light(er), bc we said we would eat and go back to the lodge to layer up. As it turned out, we were accosted by the Montana Tourism Bureau in the breakfast hall: they were shooting video of a sleigh ride and needed riders. Oh yeah, sure, we’re game.

Um, it turned into 90 minutes in the freezing cold, on a shaded path through the forest. I must have looked super frozen, bc the Bureau dude who sat next to me asked if I was ok and then he gave me the handwarmer packets from inside his gloves to put into mine. I mean, I must have looked totally blue. I thought I was going to get frostbite and have to amputate my toes. It was so fucking cold. I was like, Here you go Nathalie. I chopped off my toes. Happy bday! Yes, I was being dramatic, but shit, my body was shutting down.

Day 2, N hit the slopes with a few people, and then the remaining three of us went snowshoeing. I tried my best to manage expectations: I’m good for 90 minutes in the snow, I told them. Well, our adventure took 3 hours. Yup, you can’t ever trust the whiteys. SMH. And snowshoeing is so much work going uphill. A few times, I mis-stepped off the trail and my whole leg got engulfed in snow. Who lives in these conditions??? I mean, here’s the thing. If you live in a place where– should your car break down and you are unable to reach help– you will DIE in an hour, it’s not a place for humans. Am I right? Whether it’s the cold or the desert… think about it. You pretty much HAVE to have special equipment or electricity or you die.

Anyway, I liked the two ladies I went snowshoeing with. We had fun, and I liked hearing about different vet cases and patients and such. One lady her mom is a travel agent, so I was asking all sorts of scoop on that. For the beef rancher, she pretty much confirmed that ranch life is not glamorous at. all. I had a hunch before, but I’m now wholeheartedly convinced that farm life is never gonna be Bub’s and my thing. We’re just a tad too soft and too deluxe and too city. I gotta be honest with myself, you know? Waking up at the butt crack of dawn to clean stalls and shovel shit… not my thing. I can’t even get up and go to the gym and that place has a heated pool and sauna!!!

Day 3 we decided to use more amenities and sign up for x-country skiing. I thought maybe it would be something in between alpine skiing and snow shoeing. OMFG, those damn skis. Who can keep from stepping on them?!? And that sliding motion is so goddamn unnatural. I hated x-country, and again, we were out on those trails for like 3 hours. I started to get SUPER cranky and I was at the end of the pack. Fucking two days of death marching in the damn snow.

Day 4 was dog sledding. When we turned up, one of the staffers was this huge burly guy. His face was so red– like bluish-frostbitten red. I ain’t about that life. They had like 90 doggies– all dirty and rugged, pooping and peeing everywhere. I mean, it was good exposure for me bc too often I’m like living in the Disneyfied version of the world, apparently. But I mean, that dude and those dogs– that was true ruggedness.

The sledding was really unique and cool. We split off into groups and I started as a rider in the sled, then later we switched and I was the driver. I had TWO incidents where I fell off the fucking sled. The second time, I still grabbed on for dear life and the dogs dragged me along. It reminded me of those times I tried to get up the wall at the Ninja Warrior gym. I just dangled there for fucking ever. Yup, the sledding incidents were embarrassing, but whatev. Yet another awkward moment for the books! Like I said earlier: I’m not rated for this godforsaken place. It just continued the theme.

The other eyeopening thing about this trip? I re-affirmed that I am a big time curmudgeon. The whole time, everyone in the group was so chipper and happy and excited about being there. From the get go, they were like, we should have booked this place for a WEEK or TWO! And they were like, we gotta do this every year…. Say what, Willis? It was just funny the contrast. I mean, I was happy to be there bc I mean, it’s N’s big 4-0. And the place was beautiful, but more days? And a return trip in the winter? Hell no. And I am def not nearly as expressive as her other friends. I realized that I’m kinda like my parents that way… stoical and just not that happy or positive about anything. Am I going down that path? Perhaps. Or maybe I’ll just hold steady where I am. See? Too much fucking self-reflection.

Anyway, here are the pics. Big Sky, Montana. Cross it off the list. :)[FAG id=7501]