Category Archives: Pups

New Buttons, New Outlook

So I finally prevailed in my feud with Crate & Barrel. Despite their initial refusal to repair my popped sofa buttons, I continued to push back, and ultimately, customer service agreed to re-attach my seven buttons on the Petrie sofa. The day after I returned from Palm Springs, the furniture repair guy made a house call. Now, part of my case for requesting repair was that I don’t have kids and my dogs NEVER get on the furniture, so there’s no reason why these buttons should keep popping off. To not appear like a fucking liar, I spent FORever on Monday night and Tuesday morning trying to get Muddy Waters’ stains out of the chaise. But turns out, when the guy arrived, I also wanted to ask his recommendations for stain removal, meaning I had to bring it up. Matt was a big, heavyset guy (I actually thought my new sectional might break with him sitting in the middle of it!)– super nice and cool. First, he admitted that buttoned furniture are THE WORST. If there are buttons anywhere, they will come off. He said some customers have beautiful, super expensive tufted leather couches (think Restoration Hardware) and the buttons come off in no time with very minimal wear. See? He totally corroborated my claim that they just fall off for no reason without any abuse! Second, he himself has a 7-y/o German Shepherd who stays in a very defined area of the house except when there are fireworks. Then, the dog goes totally berserk. So he totally empathized with Marty behaving out of character, triggered by fear. We chatted it up the whole time he was here: it took him 90 minutes to reattach all the buttons. Now, that couch is ready for sale. Yippee! First, Craigslist and the neighborhood list. Then Ebay.

petriea
As for the chaise part of my new sectional, it’s mostly back to normal. It seriously took me hours and endless reapplications of this super potent, stinky drycleaning solvent. I’m sure I blasted all remaining brain cells, but in the end, I’m happy with my progress. Two nights ago in the middle of the night Marty was having his anxiety issues and he tried again to get on the (re-cleaned) couch, so for now, I am keeping a close eye and covering the furniture with all kinds of things, including big bubble bubble wrap. I know, NOT optimal in the long term, but I’m hoping we can get his issues under control in the next few days and return to normalcy after that.

This morning, I was awoken again by a call from Dad. He and mom had just flown into SFO, but for the last travel leg back to Maryland (SFO-IAD), they were on separate flights (long story). In other words, Mom has to fly solo today (which she has never done EVER). Basically, she was freaking out about having to wait without my dad for her flight and what if… they change gates or she misses the announcement or blah, blah, blah. Again, paralysis by paranoia. So Dad wanted me to call her closer to her boarding time to guide her on the phone before getting on her flight. WTF, are you for real??? I mean, as someone who is all about self-sufficiency, I’m thinking Jesus Christ, enough with the goddamn hand holding! But as usual, they sound stressed, they already feel bad about waking me up and asking for help… so fine! I try calling her Taiwan mobile as a test, but it doesn’t go through. I think her phone only works in Taiwan. I guess the universe helped me out there. Mom, you’re just going to have to figure it out on your own.

In related news, J and I went to a play last night called Tokyo Fish Story. Despite my many recent duds (esp with K), Goldstar pulled through last night. Incredibly well-acted and well done. First, I’m not gonna lie: it was kinda bizarre to see Asians in a play. That whole Oscars so white thing is real. Very minimal representation of Asians in theater. But I digress. Anyway, the story was vert poignant, and it really struck a chord with me, hitting on themes of Asian culture, showing how starkly those values contrast even across generations in the same culture. It reminded me of the internal conflict that for so long, I didn’t even recognize or attribute to growing up Chinese-American. But even thinking about how much my parents rely on me now, how much they expect from me, and how I feel obligated to help them even if “helping” feels more like “enabling”– the latter of which conflicts so strongly with my own personal values of self sufficiency and empowerment… The play addresses the concept of respect and how in Asian culture, respect often equates to conceding and acquiescing and never challenging your elders. As J and I walked back to our car, I realized that so much of my youth was spent rejecting and denying my Asian-ness. And now, as I’m on the brink of 40, I finally am realizing how I am a blend of so many things. All these years, I wasted energy trying to categorize myself into neatly defined boxes, be they personality types or some other kind of label (What kind of car would I be? What kind of love language am I? What is my dress style?). Ultimately, I am a complex amalgamation of many things. I’m American-born Chinese and I like that I speak Mandarin. I’m happy that I know how to play the zither, that I enjoy Chinese language films, that I know how to make dumplings and roast duck… Usually yes, I’m an ESTJ but sometimes I’m ISTJ or something beyond both of those types. Some days, I dress like a cowgirl. Other days, I feel more edgy/rocker. Still other days, I prefer heels and a classic sheath dress. For some reason, I was so concerned about consistency in presentation, as if that uniformity somehow equated/attested to my character or integrity. But the truth is, being blended and complex (and unpredictable) is largely what it means to be human. Bubbey once told me he loved how I continued to surprise him. I hope my recent self acceptance pulls up a chair and stays for a while.

Muddy Waters Marty

The other day, I was thinking more about my masseuse’s comment: What kind of crazy stressful life are you living? To be honest, I felt kind of ashamed when he said that, bc duh, I’m not even working right now. I don’t necessarily feel super stressed, but then again, I also have a history of being oblivious to stress until it manifests physically (shingles, H1N1, walking pneumonia). While in Palm Springs though, I definitely noticed that I slept better. The hotel was so freaking quiet, and I slept uninterrupted through the entire night. At home, I have the toughest time getting rest. Every leadership and productivity book I read talks about the importance of sleep. There have also been recent studies linking shitty sleep to Alzheimer’s (which my maternal grandmother now has and I think my mother will have…). I’ve been trying desperately to get that shit sorted, so I don’t follow their same path towards crazy.

So after two days of rest and relaxation, I came back late Monday to a number of things that immediately swung me back into an anxious state. First, Marty completely soiled my new sectional with mud. Yes, the couch that is dry-clean only and requires water-free solvent!chaise

Granted, the Bay Area was socked in with rain and wind while I was away– unusually wet and stormy weather. J says Marty was stressed bc I was away. I dunno: it’s never been an issue before, but seeing as old age is turning him into a different dog, I suppose it’s possible. Then, there’s also the high pressure changes that might have made him uncomfortable. Certainly, in the last several years, as a senior dog, he has never had a habit of getting on the furniture. In the last year, there have been times with his sundown syndrome (nighttime anxiety) when Bubbey has invited him onto the old sofa to spoon and calm down. But he never invites himself. I don’t know if he was stressed or confused or what. Needless to say, when I walked through the door and saw the extensive muddy mess ALL over the white chaise, I was so pissed. The weird thing is, typically I’m not one for keeping possessions in mint condition (I have a scratched car, scratched wood floors, dirty leather boots, etc.). I value use and practicality over keeping shit pristine and unused, but I dunno. It was less than a month old, and I was really trying to embrace this new art of staying tidy. Still, who could fault Marty. He wasn’t trying to act out. I mean, in his old age, he just isn’t quite himself anymore. J was beyond exasperated when I got home. It was interesting how in two days, our positions flip flopped. The week prior, I had been exhausted and frustrated. Marty was super clingy during the day (often getting in my way and causing me to trip on him) and then at night, he was restless, scratching his bed a billion times, panting crazy, and going in and out of the doggie door. I was so annoyed, I yelled at him a few times, and Bubbey tried to remind me that he was a good dog. Similar to what we have witnessed with our oldie humans, these elder years are fucking challenging, man. And if I think back, they were excruciatingly difficult with Remy too.

Maybe he just needed to feel safe in a den? So we brought out his dog crate. Both Remy and Marty were crate trained, and when we lived in Virginia, they were crated during the day. I’m a big advocate of crating but we stopped the practice in 2004 just bc they were fine without it. So I put him back in on Monday night, and shit, he started wigging out. WTF is going on? I let him out after a few minutes. Ugh. Probably too many years have passed since crate living. That night though, he slept like a fucking rock in the bedroom. No wakeups or anything. I was hopeful.

Then, the very next day, same shit as before: clingy during the day. I was thinking that maybe I ought to confine him to a room so I can rest at night, so I put him in my office where he usually sleeps while I am on the computer most of the day. In the middle of the day, I left for a few hours and when I came back, he had knocked the water bowl and was again stressed and panting. That night, the sundown syndrome was back with a vengeance. I got no sleep and in the middle of the night, I started researching this. Holy crap: so many forums where people have old dogs (> 11 years) and these same problems!! People liken this period to having a newborn. They aren’t getting any sleep and they are worried about functioning at their jobs during the day. They have tried everything: crating, melatonin, doggie xanax, Benedryl, sleeping in the human’s bed, etc. It makes me think of a comment my friend J once made about being the father to three children. He said, “Now I know why pigs kill (roll over) their young.” And it’s sad, bc I remember the glory days when everyone was young and happy and healthy. Remy and Marty brought me so much joy. How can I NOT try every possible option? So that night, I ordered a few tinctures plus some homeopathic sleeping pills. Part of the complication is that Marty’s kidney disease makes it difficult for him to process standard pain meds (for arthritis) and in the past when we tried xanax, it made things worse. And then with all the upcoming travel, I worry about getting him adequate care.

Meanwhile, in the last few weeks, I’ve been getting those calls in the middle of the night from mom in Taiwan. My phone rings at like 3am, and when I see it’s from Taiwan, I feel anxious that maybe something happened to the grandparents (all three are over 93 y/o) or my parents. Nope, mom just got the time change wrong. Jesus fucking Christ. Then, yesterday, after a sleepless night with Marty, I got a call from Dad at 8am. Johnny was supposed to cancel my grandparents’ return flight since they are going to live in Taiwan now but instead, he accidentally checked them in. Can I call United and fix it of figure out the cancel/change/refund situation? Ugh!! Dad is all maxed out and stressed. Normally, WTF. Get the AB Duke scholar (my brother) to call and fix his mistake! But then Dad sounds so stretched and at the end of his string, that Jesus Christ, fine. I’ll do it. Argh!! Next time, I will just have to call my brother and tell him to handle it. Fucking A. As for the “helping my parents” vs enabling issue. My dad just is not in the mental state right now to be empowered. Between dealing with my neurotic mother and handling all my maternal grandparents’ paperwork/logistics (the townhouse, medical coverage, housing– moving from place to place, travel, taxes, etc.) plus his youngest sister just underwent heart surgery, it’s just too damn much. And again, as I am seeing with Marty, old age is fucking my Dad over. He just can’t function the way he used to. His capacity is down big time.

I guess this is what people call the sandwich generation. It’s this period in your life when you are trying to raise and care for your own family while also handling eldercare. It’s especially stressful I think when you feel like there aren’t enough people to help. Like my Dad does everything (yes partly bc he is a control freak), but also bc my mother doesn’t have the capacity and bc my brother really is a fucking useless tard.

Anyway, as I write all this out, it’s no fucking wonder my muscles are tighter than hell. I’m just trying to take this shit one step at a time. The first calming tincture did not help Marty at all last night. Tonight, I’ll try the second one. I sure hope it knocks Marty out.

Sleepless Nights

So after losing three days (and counting) to sickness, I can’t sleep again. The mind is just overwhelmed right now. The recent good news? I learned two helpful tidbits yesterday from my side hustles. A few weeks ago, after upgrading our cable box to Xfinity X1 (same cost but better technology), our receiver suddenly stopped putting out sound. Mind you, we got this thing in 2012 and Bubbey didn’t know why it went kaput. I looked up the warranty and even with the Visa/Amex automatic extended warranty of 1 year, it was def beyond the coverage period. So Bubbey just bought a different one. The old one got relegated to the garage, and then this week, I finally shot a pic and posted it on Freecycle. Well as with most electronics, I got a ton of response. The next day, I set it outside labeled for the first person to come get it. Soon after, I received an email from someone else who said this is a known issue with Onkyo receivers from that period: Onkyo will fix the defect for free and extend the original warranty. I clicked on the link and sure enough, my model qualified. Had this Freecycler not informed me, how the hell was I supposed to know about this option? I’m usually pretty good about looking up warranties etc. And even after going to the Onkyo support page, there wasn’t any kind of obvious recall/factory callback. This person could have easily collected my receiver for free and then turned around and gotten it fixed for free, scoring himself a $450 receiver, so I was thankful and thrilled that s/he shared the knowledge. I dunno how this person might have stumbled on the info: perhaps s/he also had a faulty unit? I dunno, but yay!

The second thing I learned? I sold Bubbey’s electric shaver system with the auto-cleaning feature on EBay. I included the alcohol-based cleaning cartridge and got the package all ready for shipping until I realized that the cleaning solvent is flammable. I tried to figure out online what the volume limitations might be for shipping flammable liquids… No clear information. Finally, I had to go in person to the post office and even the clerks had to look up that shit. Confusing but I was pleased to learn that at that volume (5 oz) and in that packaging (a sealed plastic cartridge), I was good to proceed. Interestingly though, there are potentially restrictions on like perfume and aerosols and stuff. Who knew? I’m building my repertoire of shipping knowledge for more optimal EBay store operation in the future! Btw, I really need to up my shipping costs. I always just guesstimate a fixed cost, and I get screwed every. damn. time. Note to self: double the shipping from what I think it’ll be.

In other news, last night was probably one of the worst nights. I slept in my office bed, bc I didn’t want to get Bubbey sick. In the middle of the night, Marty typically goes in and out of his doggie door. At some point, I was awoken by a sudden thud. I thought maybe it was an intruder. I called out to Bubbey who was in the bedroom. I asked if he heard that and what was the noise. He barely uttered a reply. For some reason, I started getting a little freaked out… But seeing as Bubbey went back into a deep slumber, I ventured out alone into the living room. I looked around and didn’t see Marty. But something felt or seemed amiss. I then heard loud panting. Marty had collapsed by the doggie door, and he was lying in a pool of urine with drool around his head. WTF. His whole body was limp. I was speaking to him and kinda saying to Bubbey that something was wrong and that something happened. Bubbey still didn’t hear me. WTF, dude??? Wake up!! Jesus Christ.

Having seen something similar with Remy in her old age, I suspected that Marty had had a seizure and collapsed by the door. He was so tired. Earlier in the day, he had seemed especially lethargic, but I thought it was from his lack of sleep and arthritis in his back legs. Maybe those were signs? Bubbey finally came over and he lifted Marty up and put him in his bed. Oh man. The only other time he ever had a seizure was when we gave him the flea med without food. Old dogs, I tell you. Shit, I hope he isn’t going down the Remy path, bc she started getting seizures in her final months and then in the end, she was getting them like multiple times a day. Eventually, she lost strength in her legs. Fuck.

This morning, Marty was back to his old self again– wagging the tail and trying to barge through the front door. Maybe it was the new doggie treats? Maybe the non-chicken meat I gave him?  Maybe this is just the aging process. My poor baby. I put him up in my bed in the office today. He slept like a baby.

Jailbird

Also Tuesday…

I left the house late morning to take my dad to buy Powerball tickets in downtown Mountain View. Yup. He’s into it…only when the prize pot is ginormous. For lunch, we got cheesesteaks from Jersey Mike’s. Dad wasn’t impressed. It’s not as tasty as Jerry’s Subs back East, I’m told. Goddamn, he is hard to please!

In the afternoon, I had that offsite work meeting, and then at the tail end, John interrupted us, calling to say he got a message from Santa Clara Animal Control: Marty got picked up and was thrown into the slammer. WTF??

We suspect he got out in the morning when the garage cabinet installers were putting in those storage units (They look good!!). The shelter says he went to the school next door, entered one of the classrooms in session, and refused to leave. Man, I rushed over to the center thinking he would be all scared and terrified being in a new place. Nope. As I discussed with staff about his licensing and rabies exemption paperwork, Marty was snuggled into a dog bed with a blanket and big toy, snoozing away!! He could have stayed there longer for sure. When I woke him up, he was all, “Huh, oh what? Were you looking for me??” Marty and his new adventures. What ever happened to those days when he never stepped beyond the boundary of our front gate?? Gone forever. SMH.

Seeking and Accepting Help

Among my many flaws, I am not good with old people. I’m sure none of you are surprised by this confession, given my long history of being an impatient beotch ass. This past year though, between my maternal grandparents, my in-laws, my own parents, and my aging Marty, I realize that I really am awful at taking care of fragile people and animals.

I mean, it’s a known fact that my parents are neurotic and paranoid, that my father is an efficiency/accomplishment-obsessed control freak and my mother is a slow and illogical fearful person paralyzed by catastrophic thinking. Still, despite my knowledge of all this and our lifelong history together, every interaction with my parents remains a major struggle and test of my patience. My parents just always feel so damn preachy and naggy and micro-managey! Sadly, rather than our connection easing over time, the opposite seems to be happening. And now that my dad sighs and moans and groans all the fucking time, I grow even more frustrated. Was he this unhappy before? If so, he certainly had work to distract him for his misery. Now he stays somewhat busy, but he has more free time than before to wallow in self pity. Then my mother, being in a new place (Kaohsiung), could have used this opportunity to learn new things and become more empowered. But no. It makes me uncomfortable to see how much she relies on others for help.

My bud K recently offered to drive Bubs and me to the airport. I mean, a tremendously thoughtful gesture, but we live 20 minutes from her, and our house is another 40 minutes to SFO. Doing the math, we’re talking a min of one hour each way, not to mention an early morning drive (leaving the house before 7) AND awful rush hour traffic on her way back south. To me, this is a huge inconvenience that’s easily avoided by grabbing a cab or self-parking. But maybe in big/close families, inconveniences just don’t deter you from seeking, offering, or receiving help?? In the past, I always felt like my family in Taiwan was way too involved, too intwined with each other’s lives. For example, before my parents got a place in Taipei, whenever they’d travel to the capital, they would stay with my cousin and her family in her small 2 BR house. In my mind, why not just get a damn hotel room so people aren’t squished? But no, my cousin insisted on having my parents stay with them for like weeks; Similarly, my parents preferred that level of accommodation. I always thought it was rather inappropriate and disruptive. And definitely, whenever they’d visit us in California, they would NEVER ever consider renting a car/taking a cab or staying at a hotel (no matter how small our space). I dunno: maybe it’s a cultural difference with respect to personal space? I find their self-imposed (artificial) lack of choice strange.

So, what happens now is my aunts in Taiwan buy meats and produce from the farmers’ markets and deliver them to my mother. They have been doing this for months, and they live at least 30 min away. I mean, maybe I’m just being a Bay Area yuppie, but shit, isn’t there a grocery buying/delivery service for this? I dunno. Just seems excessive and personally, I would like to see my mother leave the house (I think my grandparents can be alone unchaperoned for a few hours) and run her own damn errands. Partly, all this help only reduces her own capability bc it enables her to be overly reliant. Anyway. Clearly, I have issues about “help.”

Another example? Poor Marty. He is slowing down considerably. The appetite is definitely getting less consistent, and his sundown syndrome comes on super strong at night. I often awake from him scratching his bed obsessively, or I’ll notice him just standing there in the dark, zoned out, with his back end sloping severely (kidney discomfort?). Last year, finding him doggie care over the holidays was a mad scramble. Finally, I got our neighbor’s pet sitter to do it, but in the end, I think she lied to me and didn’t really sleep over. This year, due to the elevated level of care Martin requires (doggie door access, meds, subq fluids, homemade food, etc.), I tried Rover. I must have asked 7 people, including my students who in turn, asked their friends. Nothing. Fucking A. Argh!! Finally, I asked J&J. Even though we’re super close friends with them, I was so reluctant to ask, bc they have the kid and both are working and then they have Helix… It just seemed like too much to pile onto a sleep-deprived family. But John argued that they are super observant, have a doggie door, are familiar with geriatric dogs, and Jess has medical training… Plus, with the kid, they spend more time hanging out at home now. Thankfully, they agreed, and they keep saying it’s no big deal. We’re so relieved, but I’m also wondering now if maybe I need to ask for and accept help from friends more often.

Hospital Arrest

Day 4. As you know, I frickin’ yelled my head off at mom early this morning, at about 8a. My mother later tried to backtrack on some of the things she said to me, maybe in some lame attempt to lessen the blow of her offensive comments. Whatever. Then she said something like she’s never said anything critical about my relationship with John, but that’s total bullshit. How easily she rewrites history. Just say you’re sorry, and shut the hell up. You’re only digging the hole deeper and deeper.

By 9a, dad called again from the US, and he’s a health fanatic. He is worried that my grandfather’s swelling in his feet is indicative of something more serious… a heart condition or whatever. So, he asked me to take Yebbie to the veteran’s hospital for a same day appointment. Once again, mom insisted that the whole damn family go along, “in case Nai Nai falls and is home alone.” Uh, you do realize that you yourself are not monitoring Nai Nai 24/7? What happens at night when she gets up to use the bathroom… it’s not as if you are awake in case she were to fall. Stupid logic. I say this bc all my grandmother really does is sleep, and she’s not very mobile. So shuttling around my grandmother and grandfather is not exactly streamlined. I drive them to the hospital.

Another session with the backseat driver. She keeps insisting I turn at the intersection. I tell her I’m driving through it and then taking a right on a small alleyway instead. Freak out again: “You missed it; we passed it!” Pipe the hell down. A minute later, we are at the hospital parking lot. I pull up out front to drop them off at the door. Wait for me by the door while I park. I get inside, and my mom has already left. I then take my grandparents from the main building to the outpaitient building. It’s a long walk, so we stop halfway. I don’t know where exactly my mother is, so I tell them to wait while I find her first. I go, find her, then realize you can rent a wheelchair. I get one, go back, and my grandparents are gone. WTF, people?????? So then, I’m pushing around this empty chair back to the Main Building then the other way back down to my mom. Finally, I find them. Jesus Christ. We get a number for the cardiologist. We are number 59. The lady estimates 1p. We arrived at the hospital at 9:30a. It is now 4:45p, and they are only on 56. Holy fucking mother of God. I suggested to my mother that we go home midday and come back. No. Wow, I’m sure glad I stayed in the hospital all damn day just waiting. On the positive side (new attitude November and all), fortunately the hospital has a ton of services. I managed to purchase maps and stationery at the bookstore; I mailed the Medicare forms to my dad at the post office; I hit up the 7/11 for some food and drinks; I browsed some clothing at one of the shops; I bought a bath scale and gloves for home. My dad wants Yebbie to weigh himself every damn day. My dad is hardcore about diet and weight. Meanwhile, has he even used the fancy elliptical I bought? Nope.

In other news, Marty is back to getting subq fluids every day. John finally stepped up and administered the fluids this evening. The urinalysis from Thursday night came back negative, so the vet thinks the newest symptoms are either kidney disease related or something else. Bubbey is giving him some appetite stimulant meds, and he’s eating at least once a day. Man, I was just saying it would be easier to find a sitter for Martin over Christmas now that he is low maintenance. Looks like I spoke too soon.

Number 57…. seven hours and waiting. It’s been a long ass day, especially since I’ve been up since 2a. I’m so glad I blow vacation days every year for this special time with my family. Oh, I also got an email from my brother today, urging me to reconsider an opportunity to meet his master, a “living Buddha.” I will say, this email didn’t anger me as much as his messages from the past. I suppose other people (not my mom, obviously) are learning to adjust their communication style so as to avoid my wrath. That said, no thank you.

Ok, finally! Yebbie’s number is up. All it took was 8 hours! Hopefully, he’ll be done soon. My cousin is coming over tonight to stay with us a few days bc his work sent him to training in Kaohsiung. Hopefully, my mother doesn’t act like a dumbass given our incident earlier today. Fucking A. I may need to admit myself into an asylum after this trip. Truthfully, it’s probably not that different than going back to work. Saturday return. Monday back in the office. I’m such a goddamn martyr.

No Respect

A lot has happened since we returned from Canada. The good news is that Marty is doing pretty well. We cut back on the frequency of his fluids, bc he is eating consistently and overall looking good. I did start to see some signs that maybe he was getting a bladder infection again (this would be the third time): he was drinking a lot and going outside a lot. Thinking it would be important to nip that shit in the bud, I called the vet. Unfortunately, my usual vet was out, so I spoke with the vet tech for another vet. Holy crap. Talk about trying to shame me. I explained that Marty was 15. Last fall, he had a bladder infection. The doctor also suspected kidney disease, saying kidney failure triggers bladder infections or vice versa. Either way, Marty was on antibiotics for about a month and then it went away. In May, Marty got another bladder infection. Different antibiotics bc the first ones developed a resistance and another month plus of drugs. Meanwhile, each visit to the vet to determine a bladder infection involved charges for the office visit, ultrasound, urine culture, subq fluids, drugs = $650. So this third time around, I asked the vet tech if we could just put him on antibiotics without going in for all that other stuff. The tech essentially refused, stating that the symptoms I was seeing could be the kidney disease and so a full check up plus urinalysis plus additional blood workup was necessary. I explained that we had been through this twice before, he was already getting fluids, eating all his meals… he was otherwise looking good. I didn’t want to go in for all that work bc even if we learned more about the kidney values, I wasn’t planning to do more for Marty beyond what we are currently doing. In other words, I’m not going to put him on dialysis. She proceeded to tell me that even if it’s a UTI, it can be very painful. Look lady, I have had UTIs. He does NOT appear to be in pain. Back and forth, back and forth. “He could be deteriorating fast, and we need to see him.” I could not believe the pressure she was putting on me, insisting that he go in. Whatever, lady. Fuck you. To all her insistence, I just said, “Ok” but in an exaggerated tone where it was obvious I was only saying that to shut her the hell up. Goodbye, asshole.

I then called back and left a voicemail with my regular vet. Two days later, when he was back on shift, we discussed, and he said he was totally fine with trying 2 weeks of antibiotics first to see if that helped. If yes, he would give two more weeks. If not, we might consider taking him in. Done. I was so irritated that the tech tried to bully me. Thankfully, by now I have had lots of experience standing up to bullies but fuck, it really made me feel badly for people who love their pets but don’t have $650 to drop. Keep that shit in perspective, lady!!

So our first weekend back, my bud P drove up from Long Beach to hang. She recently broke up with her boyfriend whom she thought was “the one.” P and I see eye to eye on most things, but sometimes with dating/romantic relationships, we can differ quite a bit in our styles. She was pretty sad about the whole thing. That said, she’s also clear on what she wants, so at least there was some closure. We had a good time hanging out. She applied to one nursing job and got scheduled for an interview the following week. She started asking Bubbey all these questions about interviewing, and I was kind of offended. I mean, here I had spent over a year taking every goddamn job hunting class out there and reading up on how to interview or prep. But she asked Bubbey. I dunno if it’s bc he was in management and he actually conducted a lot of interviews for hiring… sometimes I’m sensitive about men being perceived as more credible, experienced, and authoritative. Whatever.

In a related experience, John had emailed our realtor last week inquiring the status about our townhouse renovation back East. The realtor replied promptly with answers to every item. The next day, I emailed separately inquiring about appliance and energy rebates or tax credits, and the realtor replied like five days later with a dismissive, generic, “Yes, I would think you could qualify for them.” WTF? I wanted to call him out. Hello, do you realize that I’m actually the one who gave you our business? Ugh. I swear to god, just another day in the life of a woman. I let it slide this time, but do not push me.

What else. The weekend P was here, it was hotter than hell. The good news is that it forced us to leave the house in search of air conditioning relief. That led us to the mall. Imagine the role reversal! I actually helped P pick out a casual dress plus some new jewelry! Maybe that means my style sense has held steady. 🙂 We also hit up Pacifica, where we had dinner at a super tasty Peruvian restaurant by the water, followed by bowling. On Sunday, we picnicked at the super chill Hallcrest Vineyards near Bonny Doon, walked under the redwoods canopy at Henry Cowell Park, and then had dinner in Davenport. Temps were only 75 degrees vs. 95 in Mountain View!! It was nice to be reminded of these day-trip options by the water. I’ll have to add them onto our list for future out-of-town guests.

Canada

J and I were in Canada this past week. The last time we were this far north, we were in Vancouver for my bday in 2008. That was a great trip. We left there thinking: “If it weren’t for the cold, we could really live here!”

It seems that every trip somehow gets rated against that question, and seeing as I have just passed my ninth year in the Bay Area, what can I say, I’m getting antsy again. So this time around, we flew into Calgary, spent a couple of nights in the city, and then drove west to the mountains of Banff for another five nights. This was my first real vacation since starting my gig ten months ago. Yes, I was in Taiwan last November, but come on, family time never counts as vacay. The interesting thing about Canada? It’s kinda confusing, bc people speak English and they mostly dress/look/act very similarly to people from the States, so my brain assumes we’re in the States… but then some things are just a tad bit off. Mentally, it’s a little disorienting. Unlike when you’re in Asia or Europe where the differences are blatant, in Canada the distinctions are harder to tease out. For example, we hit up a shopping center in Calgary, and while everything about the strip mall felt very familiar and recognizable, we only knew the names of two stores (Best Buy and Costco) out of ten. Yeah, the other shops were probably Canadian. I know, duh, but it still causes a double-take. Then, at the Costco where we loaded up on wine, cheese, and trail mix, the cashier asked if we wanted our “buggy” back. John was totally confused. Thankfully, when he doesn’t hear or understand someone, I actually do. And vice versa. “Yes, we’d like the shopping cart back.”

Other observations? DYK the population of California is more than the population of all of Canada? WTF’ right? And if you think about it further: the population of Shanghai is almost the population of Canada and California combined! Mindblowing! The pace in Alberta is also considerably slower: that goes for airport processes, driving speeds, and restaurant service. It definitely takes some getting used to. Kinda like Hawaii’s “Island time” but thankfully, not THAT slow. People are super friendly, almost suspiciously friendly. Everywhere we went, we got free upgrades: rental car, hotel 1, hotel 2, restaurant seating, airplane seating, etc. And people are very conversational, and not in the usual auto-piloty kind of way we’re used to. There’s all this eye contact, and the people really keep the conversation going, which made us unabombers super uncomfortable.

What else. Holy crap, who knew there was so much diversity up here: I mean, I guess since Banff is a pretty international destination, it’s not that surprising to hear lots of European and Asian languages, but in Calgary? Same thing, and I also noticed many interracial couples at the public parks and around town.

Beyond those observations, the landscape in this part of Canada is pretty stunning. We saw lots of natural beauty with distinctive highlights from glaciers in the Columbia Icefield to grassy meadows to alpine lakes to fir forests in the Rockies. For some reason, all of this reminded me of our incredible trip two years ago in Wyoming. That was one of my top five trips, and of course, I was trying to pinpoint the reasons why it was so memorable. Banff had some similar features with the beautiful ski mountains and clear lakes, but in Wyoming, 1) I saw horses everyday 2) we did some really unique activities like my Intro to Rodeo class and mountain biking down the ski slopes 3) The Grand Teton Lodge was super deluxe/nice 4) we saw tons of wildlife: moose, elk, buffalo, bears, deer…

We still got lucky on this trip: we did see one bear and two elk, but other than that, on our three days on the trails, nothing! In conclusion, both places are definitely worth visiting. Grand Teton NP and Yellowstone are slightly less accessible, with Jackson Hole being the closest airport (often requiring a connecting flight) whereas Calgary is a short, direct flight from SFO followed by a 90-min drive. I highly recommend both, in case you’re asking!

Probably the most challenging part of this trip was us doing two moderate-to-strenuous hikes two days in a row and well, us realizing we’re not in as good of shape as we were two years ago. Plus, don’t discount the elevation. Haha. Those hikes really knocked the wind out of us, so for a couple of days, we lost a lot of steam and had to sleep a lot. Whatever though: that’s what vacation is for– resting. In terms of getting offline for a bit, I did pretty well. Partly, I had no choice, bc AT&T and T-Mobile had shit service in the mountains. Then another night, the wifi at the hotel knocked out due to a storm. I did squeeze in a tad bit of work and even sent off a couple of job apps. But seriously, I toned my online time WAY down. I give myself a gold star, for realz. I’m feeling decently rested now, but I’m eager to reunite with my Martin. Susan says he really hates the sub-q fluids. I have definitely noticed that he is getting more and more sensitive to the needles. I may have to try some new locations on his body due to the scar tissue. He has also become finicky again with his appetite, but otherwise, he is doing well considering the circumstances. Whew, Marty lasted another week! 😉

Wow, how is it fucking mid August  now? Shit man, back to work Monday. Gotta figure out how I’m going to get back into the groove. [FAG id=7443]

Sunday Funday

Before John left for his trip, I had fully intended to have a very packed and busy next three weeks. In my head, every weekend was going to be scheduled out with social activities, plus biking, singing, music, wining and dining, etc. Well, now I’m two weeks in, and I’ve actually been rather anti-social, opting instead to spend more time at home with Marty. He’s doing ok, but there have definitely been some days where his appetite was nonexistent and he just looked really off. That said, I still tried to get out of the house somewhat: I visited with J&J over July 4, did the Ninja Warrior gym thing with M, had dinner recently with T, and then lunch with D… so a decent amount of human interaction. Just not as much as I had originally planned. But it’s all good.

Last night, I watched that movie “He’s Just Not Into You.” I love watching relationship movies, esp on my own, bc I can overanalyze and overthink every little detail. The movie has a ton of stars in it, and it isn’t spectacular or a masterpiece by any means, but I still came away with some learning points (of course). After the movie, Marty and I debriefed with a discussion. 😉

Speaking of Marty, he finished up his antibiotics last Monday, July 6. Since then, he’s been far less consistent. He got sick of eating chicken, so over the weekend, I switched over to ground beef. I’m still trying to give him other nutrients by mixing in some sweet potato, but he’s been spitting that crap out. Picky bastard. Yesterday, I pressure cooked the crap out of the yams and now they are totally mashed in with the meat. Two can play at this game, Marty. I want to make sure he gets enough calories, bc we gotta keep the pounds on.

Meanwhile, I got sucked into a PBS show yesterday afternoon about Haylie Pomroy’s Fast Metabolism Diet. I’d never heard about this program before but I got all inspired, so I downloaded a few freebie kindle books on it, and what the heck: let’s give this a go! Yup, I’m getting back on a program or two or three! Haha. Last night I also reinstated my sleep program and pulled out all the goods: Sleepy Time tea,  lavender essential oil, melatonin, zinc, and Meditation Oasis. Unfortunately, I think the tea tree oil/moisturizer mix I used (to improve my complexion) totally thwarted my sleep efforts, bc tea tree oil also energizes and awakens. Damnit. Yeah, I went to bed before 11, but I didn’t zonk out until after 1. Oh well, try again tonight.

But back to the FMD. Today, I went to the store and bought sprouted bread for the first time ever. WTF is this shit? I have no idea, but this early on, don’t ask questions: just follow the damn directions. So I picked up some other products I don’t ever buy, including rice milk, turkey sausage, and egg whites. Interestingly, I think my parents are on some version of this FMD, bc some of the shit sounded familiar (especially eating fruit within 30 min of waking up). Anyway, after combing through the e-books, I think my biggest challenge will be no dairy. I mean, we’ll see. I know, it’s only Day 1, and I’m going to try my best to follow the plan, but I also believe in moderation. It’s not like I’m trying to drop 20-40 lbs or whatever, so let’s not go totally bat shit crazy. My goal is to try and eat healthier so I feel more energetic.

What else. My favorite accomplishment from the weekend? I busted out my Rollerblades! Fuck man, I’d forgotten how much fun it is to cruise around on wheels. I took Marty next door to the park/elementary school, and after a while, he got tired and just plopped down under a tree. But that didn’t stop me. I continued zooming around on the blacktop. There’s a shit ton of debris out there, and the pavement is definitely rougher than my old skating stomping grounds (corporate parking garage with ultra smooth concrete), but hell, we’ll work with what we have. Time to make this a weekly activity!

Ok, well it’s been three hours since my last snack. Time for my FMD dinner: grain, veggie, fat/protein. Let’s try this sprouted bread.

Destination Reached

Bubbey finally reached his destination (Maryland) on Friday. Yup, exactly two weeks on the road: 4500 miles and 14 states. So while he’s been out frolicking, I’ve pretty much been a boring homebody. My original plan was actually to try and catch up on my sleep. Sadly, my sleep quality still sucks. I feel like I just squandered two weeks of time that I should have used to get back on a program. Goddamnit. Oh well, no point crying over what’s done and over.

On the plus side, Marty made it two weeks and I was able to catch up with some of my long lost buds. At work, things have slowed down over the summer… finally. I am liking my new summer interns, and I’m taking some time now to review metrics and vendor products. The division and school have also held a number of appreciation/newbie welcoming lunches, which have been nice. We certainly never got this much food/drink at the government agency.

On Thursday, we had a division offsite retreat, which I helped to organize. Yes, can you believe, I (of all people) was invited to be on the “fun” committee? I think people just automatically assume social media = fun. Little do they know… This time around, the duties pretty much just entailed me going on a Costco and Target run and then arriving early and staying late the day of. The venue was nestled up in the woods– a place I’d never been. Very cool spot, except for the damn kids running rampant for summer camp.

On Friday, the day after, the office was pretty dead. And the people who did go into work weren’t motivated at all. I mean, I’m kinda tight ass about my work, so I was still trying to get SOME shit done. Meanwhile, T was like calling the cable company negotiating discounts with her fucking office door open. Seriously. I mean, I have no issue about having to take care of some personal business during office hours, but at least try to be discreet. Do you have to have everyone in on what you’re doing? And then afterwards, don’t come into my office complaining about how you have no work to do. The thing about some of these office newbies: they make it seem like the reason they have no work is because they are super efficient, and the veteran workers just take forever with their tasks. Ok, people. Maybe you are super speedy and efficient and productive. Good for you. But it COULD also be that you aren’t being given enough fucking work. If you’re working less than 40 hours/week, then you’re not full-time. Period. Stop making it seem like you’re some superstar worker. Granted, their managers need to adjust their responsibilities or whatever but still, all this fluff talk just irks my nerves. I mean, my interns probably work more hours. Anyway… that’s the thing about this workplace. It’s not that the people there aren’t nice. They’re very warm and friendly: I just don’t jive with them (except my bud K)– chalk it up to different work styles, lifestyles, interest areas, communication styles, or whatever. Like on Friday afternoon, a bunch of people were gathered in the office common area listening to music from the 80s or 90s and dancing. I mean, I was still trying to get work done! Yeah, I know. It’s Friday: chill the fuck out. I just ended up leaving the office. I wasn’t about to throw myself into a dance off. I’m down with hanging with my coworkers, but I’m NOT down with hanging with them in that manner. Yes, I’m selective and again, unapologetic about it. Sorry folks, you don’t make the inner circle cut. And I probably don’t make your cut either. Whatever though. Social exclusion doesn’t bother me.