Category Archives: Misc

Sleepless Nights

So after losing three days (and counting) to sickness, I can’t sleep again. The mind is just overwhelmed right now. The recent good news? I learned two helpful tidbits yesterday from my side hustles. A few weeks ago, after upgrading our cable box to Xfinity X1 (same cost but better technology), our receiver suddenly stopped putting out sound. Mind you, we got this thing in 2012 and Bubbey didn’t know why it went kaput. I looked up the warranty and even with the Visa/Amex automatic extended warranty of 1 year, it was def beyond the coverage period. So Bubbey just bought a different one. The old one got relegated to the garage, and then this week, I finally shot a pic and posted it on Freecycle. Well as with most electronics, I got a ton of response. The next day, I set it outside labeled for the first person to come get it. Soon after, I received an email from someone else who said this is a known issue with Onkyo receivers from that period: Onkyo will fix the defect for free and extend the original warranty. I clicked on the link and sure enough, my model qualified. Had this Freecycler not informed me, how the hell was I supposed to know about this option? I’m usually pretty good about looking up warranties etc. And even after going to the Onkyo support page, there wasn’t any kind of obvious recall/factory callback. This person could have easily collected my receiver for free and then turned around and gotten it fixed for free, scoring himself a $450 receiver, so I was thankful and thrilled that s/he shared the knowledge. I dunno how this person might have stumbled on the info: perhaps s/he also had a faulty unit? I dunno, but yay!

The second thing I learned? I sold Bubbey’s electric shaver system with the auto-cleaning feature on EBay. I included the alcohol-based cleaning cartridge and got the package all ready for shipping until I realized that the cleaning solvent is flammable. I tried to figure out online what the volume limitations might be for shipping flammable liquids… No clear information. Finally, I had to go in person to the post office and even the clerks had to look up that shit. Confusing but I was pleased to learn that at that volume (5 oz) and in that packaging (a sealed plastic cartridge), I was good to proceed. Interestingly though, there are potentially restrictions on like perfume and aerosols and stuff. Who knew? I’m building my repertoire of shipping knowledge for more optimal EBay store operation in the future! Btw, I really need to up my shipping costs. I always just guesstimate a fixed cost, and I get screwed every. damn. time. Note to self: double the shipping from what I think it’ll be.

In other news, last night was probably one of the worst nights. I slept in my office bed, bc I didn’t want to get Bubbey sick. In the middle of the night, Marty typically goes in and out of his doggie door. At some point, I was awoken by a sudden thud. I thought maybe it was an intruder. I called out to Bubbey who was in the bedroom. I asked if he heard that and what was the noise. He barely uttered a reply. For some reason, I started getting a little freaked out… But seeing as Bubbey went back into a deep slumber, I ventured out alone into the living room. I looked around and didn’t see Marty. But something felt or seemed amiss. I then heard loud panting. Marty had collapsed by the doggie door, and he was lying in a pool of urine with drool around his head. WTF. His whole body was limp. I was speaking to him and kinda saying to Bubbey that something was wrong and that something happened. Bubbey still didn’t hear me. WTF, dude??? Wake up!! Jesus Christ.

Having seen something similar with Remy in her old age, I suspected that Marty had had a seizure and collapsed by the door. He was so tired. Earlier in the day, he had seemed especially lethargic, but I thought it was from his lack of sleep and arthritis in his back legs. Maybe those were signs? Bubbey finally came over and he lifted Marty up and put him in his bed. Oh man. The only other time he ever had a seizure was when we gave him the flea med without food. Old dogs, I tell you. Shit, I hope he isn’t going down the Remy path, bc she started getting seizures in her final months and then in the end, she was getting them like multiple times a day. Eventually, she lost strength in her legs. Fuck.

This morning, Marty was back to his old self again– wagging the tail and trying to barge through the front door. Maybe it was the new doggie treats? Maybe the non-chicken meat I gave him?  Maybe this is just the aging process. My poor baby. I put him up in my bed in the office today. He slept like a baby.

Getting Organized

So I’m sick. And of course, I’m sick two days before my Chinese New Year party. Fucking A. I just realized this year that this getting sick business is a recurring pattern with me: invariably, I come down with something following some combination of travel, allergy attacks, and mental stress. My body is a fucking unreliable whimpy-ass mess.

That said, I should have known better. P has three cats… Two of her own plus one that she fosters. Typically, I pack my own sheets and what not. This time, I was trying to go all minimal. Mistake one. Then, I’ve been doing the saline rinses and have been off allergy meds for a long time. Well, I should have prepped in advance by going back on the meds, bc holy shit, I was sneezing repeatedly with eyes watering nonstop and my throat closing up. We ran out to get Allegra, plus she gave me a new bottle of nasal spray. Things got dramatically better, but shit. I’m sure it compromised my immunity. Couple that with many late sleepless nights… One night we went out on the town (I don’t think I’ve EVER really enjoyed the “see and be seen” thing no matter how much SATC makes it look fun.) The other nights we stayed in, but I was up late reading my book, doing my online course, etc. I know, I don’t know how to fucking re-lax. Meanwhile, when I did finally fall asleep, the cats went bonkers, running all over the apartment, with one meowing and wailing to no end. WTF is wrong? We didn’t know, and he didn’t appear to be in pain. I had a dream the second night, and it was somehow about me uncovering a sex trafficking ring. I woke up heart pounding and breathing hard. I don’t know why I dreamed that. I don’t think I was thinking about it… But it was super disturbing. And fuck man, that is reality.

My final night in LGB, we went over to her classmate’s Super Bowl party. That’s where I befriended Sadie, the gigantic Great Dane. I like P’s friends, but man, I really hate watching sporting events with people. Mainly, I can’t stand listening to the constant criticism. You know, like people getting mad at the players for making stupid plays or whatever. There’s name calling and then when the athletes cry or look visibly upset, people don’t even care. They say shit like, “Don’t you worry about him: he’s taking home a hefty paycheck.” I mean, totally true but hello, money isn’t the answer to everything. And I dunno. I admire people who care about their jobs and take their work seriously. They want to do well and when they don’t, it’s disappointing. Show some fucking compassion.  And the irony is, the people who are criticizing these athletes are the ones stuffing their faces without an ounce of discipline. Annoying.

Anyway, her classmate was showing me her leather studio where she designs belts, purses, festival harnesses/phone holsters, and key chains with her neighbor/craft partner, a young college lady whose mom buys all the supplies for them. Long story short, the neighbor’s mother has an entire crazy back story. Like seriously, straight out of the movies: former model in Miami, married a plastic surgeon, he experimented on her, fucked up her face so badly that he wouldn’t let her leave the house for fear of ruining his reputation, so he drugged her and kept her in hiding for YEARS!! I mean, for real. I Googled her story and was so so horrified after that. And then that triggered a whole new cascade of negative thinking about so many things: vanity, shame, abuse, resilience… Why are people so crazy and evil?

Meanwhile, I haven’t even been following politics lately but wth, Trump won NH?!?!?! The world is just too much. So instead of getting myself into a hysterical tizzy/vortex, I’m trying to redirect my anxiety around menial shit like getting organized. The garage has mostly come together. I still need to get rid of extra junk but between EBay, Freecycle, donations, and garbage, I am seeing some progress– slow and steady.

Yesterday, I almost posted Marty’s big crate for sale, but thankfully, I had the foresight to consider my post-Marty doggie and shit, I might need to crate train. Shrug. Then there’s all that demo waste still on the side of the house. I called a junk removal vendor, and the quote was kinda high. Incidentally, I discovered this week that the city gives you three “on call plus” pickups where they will haul your waste from your curb. Free. So of course, I’m now going to do that, but it just means I have to wait until next Wed and then schlep all that crap from the side of my house to the curb. Bags and bags of crap plus demo waste… Maybe I will use our wheelbarrow.

Inside the house, we are getting our closets redone next week, so that’s exciting but then you gotta clean everything out of there before the crew comes. More schlepping of stuff from one place to another and back. The tedium is almost enough to make me cancel the whole operation. Is this what people do?? I mean, same drill with carpet steaming right? People like move their furniture out and back. I must have a super low threshold for inconvenience. Oh well, suck it up for the closets. The installation is happening after Prez Day, so I’m ready for the more organized phase of “best life.” People say the physical clutter/disorganization contributes to the mental clutter and anxiety, so maybe this will help me not dream about sex trafficking and not hate people. 😛

Ok, my nose is running like a goddamn faucet. Time for a hot drink with honey and apple cider vinegar (trying something new) and a nap.

Poop Pressures

So this happened two weekends ago, but I’m going to share so you can “laugh at my pain,” as Kevin Hart says. So yeah, Bubs and I were in Santana Row for the Container Store (elfa shelving). Because I slept in late, we ended up not getting there until lunch time. I was feeling hungry, so fine, let’s eat at our old standby Pasta Pomodoro. I got my usual: gorgonzola ravioli. Delish. Even though we had never dined at this particular location, we have certainly eaten at many PP, and they are consistently good. Well not. this. time.

I mean, the meal tasted awesome going down, but after our stint with the closet expert, as soon as we got out of TCS, the shits came on fast and strong. I went to the closest coffee shop bathroom, and I swear to god, it was occupied FORever. Minutes went ticking by as my bowels tore themselves apart. Finally, we decided to head home and of course, we hit every goddamn fucking red light possible. In the car, which John already drives all herky jerky, I started sweating, so we blasted the AC. Then, I was freezing, then hot again then cold. Repeat. Holy fuck. We just barely made it home, and then my body was exhausted as hell from trying to keep that shit (literally) under control for 20 minutes. Jesus Christ. What a close call!

Typos and Other Boggles

Tonight I went back to reread some of my posts, and holy fuck, there were a gabillion typos!!!! Embarrass, occasion, steals, and many more… And I call myself a writer! Tsk, tsk. I mean, yeah, I’m cranking these babies out half asleep (hence the nose bruise STILL) but shit, where’s the damn spell check on this WordPress iPad app? I look like a fucking dumbass. Not cool, man.

So the weekend was fun, productive, but also stressful. I had a great time chilling with T and M for Craft Club. That was fun, and my horsey wool buddy is looking kinda cute. I still want to turn him into a zebra, but those stripes are gonna require some major hours… When I went to leave, I could NOT find my car keys. Twenty minutes of digging through my bags and purse and checking throughout the house. WTF? Finally, M found them in my black craft bag, which I had checked multiple times, feeling around the inside compartments and pockets even! How did they get missed? No fucking idea.

After that stress, I went to see M’s house for the first time ever. So fricking nice: new construction, lovely sunlight, a huge patio, really nice decorations and art inside… Seriously. None of my Ikea, Mickey Mouse, freecycle, put cheap prints into Michael’s frames bullshit. The thing is, she takes care of her shit, whereas we abuse our stuff. “That’s why we can’t have nice things.” After seeing the ridic level of cleanliness at both places, I got home and started a scrub down. Yup, the bag of rags (old socks and clothes) came out. I did the baseboards, the window sills, the windows, dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, etc. In other words, I was exhausted. The next day, I pretty much just chilled. In the evening, as I was getting ready for bed, I could NOT find my work phone. Holy fuck. Not again. I searched the usual places. Did the Find my Friends app, which suggested it was across the street on a grassy median. Fucking A. 12:30 at night, and I am out there in shorts carrying a flashlight. I kept going around the spot where the marker was blinking on my screen. No luck. I re-searched inside. Then I saw cockroaches by the front door. Seriously?? I have never had problems with roaches. Later, in the middle of the night, I got up again and I saw a roach scurry away in the bedroom. WTF?  So then I researched roaches at about 3a. Baking soda. Like a maniac, I scattered baking soda all over the damn house, yes the same spots where I had earlier mopped and vacuumed to perfection!!

This morning, I woke up at 6a to go search for my phone again. Again, nothing. Argh!! Why am I misplacing things? Then began an entire cascade of self-abuse. What is wrong with my brain? I am losing my mind. This is the Universe’s way of punishing me for criticizing my mother, blah, blah. I tried to recenter. It’s just a stupid work phone. I’d been wanting to upgrade anyway. Just figure out what’s involved for an upgrade. Calm the hell down, crazy woman!!

The roofing estimator came by at 10. I had found his company on Yelp, where they had a shit ton of high marks. I also checked Google Reviews and BBB, etc. He was a super nice guy, and wow, having had two other companies provide quotes, he was the only contractor who said a spot repair was all that was needed to give us another 3-5 years. Hallelujah, mother fuckers! That was the sole good news of the morning.

Ok, I’m tired, so time to wrap this up. After work, I came home and searched again for the damn phone. For some reason, I decided to look in my car AGAIN. I looked under the seat. Then I looked super closely. There it was, fucking wedged in THE tightest of spaces between the driver seat and the middle console. I had to squish my hand in a very strange contorted fashion, but what a frickin’ relief!! I found the goddamn phone!!! Now, time to sleep.

Only Me

I have to say, it’s a good thing that I have a strong sense of self. I mean, you know, barring the occasional rut or period of self-doubt, generally speaking, I am a confident person who stands by my choices, behaviors, and decisions. Wow, that sounds so serious. The bottom line? I do some fucked up, embarrassing things. And rather than get all worked up about it, I just have to laugh at the absurdity that is my life.

For example, two weekends ago, I was hanging around at home. We had plans in the evening, but until then, I fully intended to stay housebound. So I put on those Crest Whitestrips and got down to business with some laundry, cleaning, organizing, what have you. As part of this process, I was feeling some bumps cropping up on my face. You all know my troubled, scarring history with shit skin. So now, even though my skin has been relatively clear for the last 7+ years, I still have irrational fears about cystic breakouts. I felt something coming in, so I put zit cream all over the trouble spots. Then I resumed buzzing around the house. At some point hours later, I took out the trash, so I opened the gate and crossed my driveway to the side of the house with the trash bins. I turned around, saw my neighbor, exchanged pleasantries, and then walked over to his yard for a full-fledged 10-minute conversation with him and his 7 y/o daughter. About 8 minutes in, I remembered the zit cream. Holy, fucking shit, NOOOOOO!! I touched my chin and felt the crusted cream. All while continuing the conversation, I started “subtly” wiping my face. Then I ended the conversation as soon as possible. John was on the couch inside. Do you see splotches on my face? Umm, yeah. I ran to the bathroom mirror. Fucking A!! Sometimes that cream shit rubs off or absorbs. Nope. This shit was full, original pasty white. The kid was probably like, what the heck is splatted all over her face?? So embarrassing. FML. And then, I just busted out laughing in the bathroom, bc seriously. Does this crap happen to other people??? I think not. Shrug.

Then, last night, I was blogging in bed. I was starting to get really tired, but I wanted to crank out some posts (aren’t you grateful for my dedication??), so I had the iPad like held up close to my face but at a weird angle so I could still type on the attached keyboard. Well whadya know, I felt asleep and the fucking clamshell fell over with the pendulum force of a wrecking ball, hitting me smack dab in between the eyes. That hurt like hell, and now this morning, I have mild swelling and bruising. Ugh. Who the fuck falls asleep and whacks herself in the face with her device??

First Free Weekend

This is my first free weekend in a very long time: no online class, no traveling, no family drama. Bubbey is back in Maryland handling errands for his parents, and I am just living on my own schedule. I stayed up super late on Friday night putzing around, and then this morning I woke up late. I went into Unabomber mode, and did some reorganizing/cleaning followed by a tiny bit of work. In the afternoon, I took Marty for multiple walks at the park, which was chock full of kids and parents playing baseball and soccer and such. Goddamn, do parents these days really go to EVERY SINGLE ballgame? Whatever happened to just dropping the kids off?

When I got hungry, I decided to kill two birds with one stone by hitting up the Costco for some ingredients for the week, plus chicken salad for lunch. I then watched a relationship movie called “The Last Kiss.” Certain relationship films, I like to watch over and over. I’ve seen this one maybe two or three times, but each time I definitely pick up new observations. In another life, I probably should have earned a psychology degree. I’m just fascinated with the complexities of relationships and connections. I’m not a fan of Zach Braff, but the movie hit on a lot of interesting themes: attraction, emotional/physical needs, attention, stress, midlife crises, self sabotage… There’s a part too where the daughter is super quick to judge and place blame within her parents’ marriage. Her mother responds angrily, “Don’t even try to act like you have any clue about what goes on in a 30-year long relationship.” I saw myself in that scene. So many times I have criticized my parents’ marriage and/or the way they have parented.

In the early evening, my Google Shopping Express order arrived. This time I tried out the booze delivery. Yup, I recently discovered that GSE delivers for BevMo, so I got two bottles of Unruly Red. After I poured myself a glass and made my Costco chicken salad sandwich, I sat back and just enjoyed my quiet me time. After the evening news, I indulged in some solo karaoke. Yup, I am back to training up on that shit. Overall, what an awesome day! The only missing activity was rollerblading. I’ll have to get to that later. Meanwhile, I have a new appreciation for a free, unplanned day. It was pretty fricking relaxing and luxurious!

Heavy Heart

Day 3 and well, I’m still trying my best to create new habits, like blogging every day. Fuck man, I’m always cutting it close, but somehow still managing to get ‘er done. A lot has been on my mind lately. I’m more emotional than usual. For example, I watched some video recently on social about a surfer dude and his 19 y/o Remy lookalike dog. The dog passed away, and you could see, the guy grieved for a long while. Goddamn, his dog looked a lot like Remby! I miss my little Bembo.

In other news, J has been unhappy with his profession/work/career for many months now. We are making changes, but the cycle always feels so reactionary after so much damage has already been done. Meanwhile, I fell off the health kick a while back. Now I’m on some insane snacking rampage, and my pants are getting tight. I’m not in utter despair or anything. I realize the situation isn’t dire, but shit man. Those goddamn Combos and Girl Scout Cookies. I was never much of a junk food person, but now, I get cravings. Just like the snack producers planned I suppose. Whatever. In due time, I’ll wean off and get back to normalcy. It’s just an example though where I feel like control is slipping away, some bizarre indicator of more rough waters ahead. Ah well, come what may. Probably a good exercise for me in coping and tolerance.

Brian and Bursted Bubbles

Ugh. I am so damn fed up with people. Largely, my frustration stems from the news and all that depressing bullshit about violence, death, rage, and hate. The world is just so fucked up. What the hell is wrong with people?? I know, I should probably cut back on my news intake, but my relationship with the news is kinda weird. I’m not exactly sure what compels me to read it every day– some strange obligation or responsibility or… I mean, typically I don’t really give a fuck about being out of touch with things (hello, pop culture), but I suppose the news for me is some bizarre reminder to keep my gullibility in check: Don’t be too trusting or oblivious. Have some frickin’ street smarts, naive sheltered child.

Speaking of news and trust, WTF Brain Williams? I’ve been crushing on that dude for a long time. Seriously, before him, I had a thing for Peter Jennings. I know, that shit is super old school, but heck man, I grew up watching World News Tonight with my dad. I can’t pinpoint the exact source of attraction. Who knows what little girls pick up on: authority, a nice voice, a trustworthy demeanor, a fancy suit, legit journalistic skillz?? Who cares. Peter Jennings was my man. Sure, I was devastated when I discovered he was a chain smoker (How could you, my beloved?). Fuck man, life’s been bursting my bubbles ever since. But back to Brian. On one hand, as someone who certainly has moments of confusion and muddiness, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Did he perhaps hear so many traumatic stories that somehow he internalized them to become his own experiences? I am reminded of that time J and I were in couples counseling. We were both recounting some incident that happened, and we both told completely different stories. Like, the FACTS were totally different. I was so shocked at the time. Like what. the. fuck. What you are saying is NOT TRUE! I was there, and I did NOT do that. Back and forth we went. In the end, the therapist said something to the effect of, there can be two truths to the same scenario or situation. I was like, no sister, that’s not the definition of truth. There is the truth, and then there is a lie. Either shit happened or it didn’t; we’re not talking about some gray area of interpretation. There is only ONE right answer!!! The point, in our case, was that ultimately, none of it matters. What a person thinks and believes happened, pretty much makes it real. So then where does intention come into play? Did Brian intend to lie, or did something in his mind convince him that these things happened? If the latter, then isn’t that mental illness? I don’t know. I don’t know which side I’m really arguing. I mean, on one hand, having seen/learned about all the bullshit the world serves up on a daily basis, should any of us really be all that surprised? Probably not. People disappoint all the damn time. Still, in his defense, as someone who sometimes (not often!) gets her details mixed up (e.g., there are numerous places I don’t remember but where J insists I have been…), is it feasible that this was a lapse in recall rather than a deliberate tall tale?

Moving on… Last week, I met up with some of my former coworkers. More stories and woes of shit flowing downstream. That damn agency. I thought things had neared rock bottom two years ago. Nope, the spiral just keeps going downward. My one friend is chronically stressed, and STILL she does not even LOOK to see what’s out there. I met with three coworkers individually, and all complained to the high heavens. Oddly enough, I’ve run out of things to say. I mean, that place is broken. No amount of tweaks/changes will restore it to its former glory. So I just listen. I have no idea if it helps them at all. Inside though, I’m frustrated as hell by their inaction. People and their resistance to change. Curiously, my one friend, whom I see more regularly than the others, is starting to share fewer details. I dunno if she’s sick of hearing herself talk about it, or if she can see my frustration. Either way, the leaner lowdown helps me control the anger inside that still boils when I hear all the drama.

Swift Kick in the Ass

There’s nothing like a visit to the parentals and in-laws to give J and me that super swift kick in the ass. If we were draggin’ butt these last couple of months (or last year), all we really needed was to see firsthand the consequences of inaction, paralysis, denial, and mental/emotional defeat. With his parents, life could be so much easier for them: they and the kids have resources to provide services to help them be more comfortable: shopping services, food/meal services, cleaning services… but help is refused. With my parents, my father was sick and that in turn led to overthinking (sound familiar) and depression. He is that classic case of perfectionism where happiness depends on other people. I know, because I am often that person. I hold off on being happy until everyone and everything around me is just about right. He doesn’t state the culprits, but when pushed, he alludes and I know exactly one of the factors that makes him feel so unfulfilled. One of his life goals will just never be met.

I don’t know what else can really be said or done about my parents not becoming grandparents. As I’ve mentioned time and time again, I’m not going to take on parenting for other people. I just will not. And I have apologized for this before, but I’m not going to apologize for it again. I know this sounds harsh, but quite honestly, this is simply something they have to get over. I know it’s not easy, but that’s the only solution.

After we returned to California, there was an entire series of annoying events, but I tried really hard to keep my spirits up, because after spending a few days with poo poo dad, I realized this Debbie Downer bullshit just doesn’t do anything for anyone. The misery only spreads. First, the donut tire was a major pain. We had to take El Camino all the way down the peninsula; of course, not before trying to coordinate an exchange (our Marty for her iPhone left in the rental car) with my sis-in-law. It took a long time to meet up at the correct location. Then, we were starved and all the food spots closed, so we had to hit BK. Disgusting. When we got home, I noticed that Marty’s coat was total shit (after just six days?), and he was itching again like crazy. WTF??? Then, there were other discoveries: my Christmas tree was oddly ajar: on closer inspection, my handmade tree topper WoolBuddy was gone (later found destroyed), and a bunch of branches were all crushed and shit (fake tree). Turns out my sis-in-law’s dog J got into my tree. Of course, no word/report from the sitter the entire time we were gone except that the dogs went on walks. I had even checked in with her once or twice via text, and the replies were always super short: everything is fine. Meanwhile, spooky, skittish, itchy Marty is back. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I was pretty cranky on returning home.

The next day, I tried to start over on the right foot. I did some online car research, tried to reorganize shit, do some laundry. Well, by late morning, after my shower and a load of laundry, both bathrooms and the washer/dryer area were totally flooded. Are you fucking kidding me? Thankfully, I found a good local plumbing company. They were swamped with calls, but fortunately, I was the last accepted call for the day. The dude cleared our sewer backup by snaking from the roof! Fine, whatever. He got us back up and running again, and then I had a shit ton of laundry to do, because we sacrificed a bunch of towels to soak up that mess.

In the evening, we finally left the house to test drive some cars. For some reason, all along I’d been super indecisive about car shopping. I pretty much hated my Honda Civic Hybrid from the time I got it (although it DID get me into the carpool lane when I had that job in Fremont), and for the last year plus, J started pushing hard for me to get something else. It just has a really herky-jerky ride, and I’d taken it in for service and done all the maintenance. J blames its shit quality on being the first time Honda implemented the hybrid technology. Anyway, after the tire blew out on Christmas Eve, I realized that all the tires would need replacing. Plus, who knows how much longer the hybrid battery will last. Yup, time for a new car. So what was next? I was all over the damn place: VW, Hyundai, Mini, BMW, Lexus. There were just so many factors to weigh, and I couldn’t get my priorities straight. I had test driven the VW and Hyundai a few months back. The Jetta and CC were underwhelming and kinda noisy. The GTI was super fun but loud. The Hyundai Sonata was pretty basic– very economical and practical, but boring. This time, I like the Mini, but there was still too much engine noise, and the four-door was super tight in the back. I then test drove the BMW 328i. Pretty responsive and fun. I could really go there if it weren’t for the deluxe “image” issue that I always try to avoid. And the sales agent was super lame. The next day (December 31), I test drove the Lexus IS250, and it was freaking awesome: super quiet, smooth, and powerful, but the mpg wasn’t so great AND they didn’t have the color I wanted. The sales agent also really knew his shit. So I was down to two. Ultimately, I decided on the BMW. We then went back to the lame dealership after doing some online research and finding his “best deal” from the day before sufficient, but then he rescinded the offer saying holiday incentives expired December 29. WTF? So we headed to the Fremont dealership, and finally, after an entire day (there HAS to be an easier way to get a car!!) we got ‘er done at 10p on NYE: BMW 328i in imperial blue. We’re doing the lease option for the first time ever. Kinda counter to how we usually roll, but I did some research, and we’re giving it a go! Honestly, the car feels WAY too fancy for me, but dang, it’s a nice ride with some umph (haha!). And she sure is a beauty!

So yesterday, I was already starting to get all paranoid about not wanting to ding/scratch her (who knows what BMW would consider wear/tear at the end of the lease), so I was like procrastinating with driving. J reminded me that a car is meant to be driven. It’s not a museum piece. It’s not a collector’s item. Drive the fucking car, and appreciate the engineering, the design, the ride. My Bubbey– he’s so wise. I have to say, all the bells and whistles are quite nice– with small touches like backlit door handles and sensors for handfree trunk access. Of course, I still have occasional unhelpful thoughts like I don’t deserve it; I’m not worth it; blah, blah, blah. I guess I’ll continue to have those thoughts, but I’m going to proceed anyway!

Bright Lights, Big City

J and I picked Tokyo to follow our Taiwan trip, because we wanted a place to decompress post family time. Turns out, Tokyo isn’t quite the right city for that, because navigation/travel is so much harder there due to the language barrier. Even the address system is really confusing: buildings aren’t numbered in sequence along the street nor are they numbered odd on one side and even on the other!! On top of that, my T-Mobile data package there sucked, and wifi wasn’t readily available either… We were there over ten years ago, and somehow we forgot about this difficulty. Haha. Regardless, we tried our best to stay positive ;). Next time though, we’ll have to pick a city that’s a little more plug and play.

So, what did we do? Mostly, we walked around and browsed. We hit a bunch of stationery stores, stuffed our faces (even though we had already done a food safari in Taiwan), and sang karaoke. Then, the three days were over in a flash! When we returned home, my neighbor asked if we’d bought any pearls or silks or this or that… I guess I’ve been on a major shopping hiatus. I mean, I got a few small items, and Bubbey got notebooks and pens, and we bought whiskey and macaroons for his sister and her beau (for dogsitting). Other than that, we left Tokyo (and Taiwan) mostly empty handed. I think more than anything, I just don’t want to deal with clutter and having to make space for more stuff (especially after seeing my cousin’s spotless place!!).

We had a great time though just spending QT together. Tokyo is so bustling and alive. I mean, NYC is probably the only other city I’ve been to that compares: so many people up and out really late– young, old, the combo of the two (including sugar daddies with their sugar babies). But it’s not all big city, bright lights glam. Cities also have that raw underbelly. I saw all the “salarymen” decked out in their nice suits, looking all slim and trim. On the flip side, Japan has a serious problem with people dying from overworking. Yes, there’s even a term for it: karoshi, which is basically death from exhaustion. And there are other disturbing issues with sexism, xenophobia, a population that’s over half seniors, not to mention an economy that has struggled for two plus decades… While there, I got all reflective and shit about the meaning of life and all the hustling. I know, see why positivity is so damn hard for me? I overthink shit, and my mind takes me down these depressing paths…

That said, Tokyo was a good reminder for me to cherish my time with people I love and to not take my work so damn seriously all the time. I need to lighten up. Hence, I just purchased a Razor scooter online. Haha, I plan to ride it around on campus to be at one with the youngsters. Actually, I kinda have a thing for wheeled contraptions. I do think it’ll encourage me to go on campus more. We’ll see how it all pans out. Ha![FAG id=7427]