Category Archives: Misc

Troubling Times

Well, it seems that while I have had my head mostly buried in Silicon Valley real estate, the world has continued to descend farther and farther into chaos. I’ve never truly been an optimist and yet, each and every day, I am appalled by this downward spiral that just keeps getting more and more egregious. People are speaking out, and I am grateful to those, esp those who are privileged and white, for calling things out. Whether we like it or not, there are dynamics of power at play. And though it’s important for all to speak out, not all actors exert the same influence and impact.

I’m very tired these days (and now I’m coming down with a sore throat), but I still have thoughts. I don’t feel a need to write my own as I think many of us are on the same page. So I’m going to re-post what this stylist/blogger I follow has to say. All of us who don’t work in politics or social justice directly, we can oftentimes put on our blinders and go about our daily lives. But things are happening. We are witnessing incredibly scary times right now and as much passion as we have for our work, we have to remember that we are a part of something larger. There is a fire burning within us– for work/family/whatever AND for things beyond that, for things beyond our microcosms of complacency and comfort. The terror has got to stop: Society must be intolerant of intolerance.

From the Style by Emily Henderson Blog: My Thoughts on White Supremacy and Last Weekend.

Seeking Shelter

In my sales/prospecting program, many of the students are feeling maxed out and on the verge of a meltdown. The coach keeps explaining though that when life transformation occurs, people have the meltdown(s) and then they let off the gas pedal. He insists that the correct response is to depress the pedal even further, bc you are right at the cusp of a breakthrough. I mean, I absolutely believe that people can surprise themselves with the depth of their strength but shit man, I’m not gonna lie: I am counting the days til this thing is over bc I am tired, boss. In addition, I am feeling so much anxiety! The culprit for the anxiety shifts around among different things but still, there’s just a high baseline of stress that’s causing my skin to get itchy and inflamed plus I am having all kinds of bad dreams.

In the beginning, I was super freaked out about the cold calling. Then, I got desensitized to that but I got tired of the inefficiency, so I switched to door knocking. I liked that better but again, it was hard to get people to come to their doors. So then I hit up the public spots. I started to really prefer the latter, as people seemed generally pleasant. But then, as I started doing that more, I suppose my sample size got larger and well, I started to encounter the jerkies. By then, I had fortunately developed a thicker skin but still, the annoyance is never going to be a zero.

Since my Whole Foods experience last Wednesday, I’ve hit up the Sunnyvale public park, the library, and then shopping/park areas in Santa Clara. I’ve already reached my 100 people for week 5. Of course now the coach has asked us to aim for a Bold 100 (100 people all in one day) + 60 additional people. WTF with the changing goal posts. I mean, I’m going to just say, I believe in metered and steady, so that 100 in one day ain’t happening. I agree that more numbers is always a good thing but… I have my limits. Some people in the class reach all 100 people via calling. That equates to about 9 hours of calling in one day. I think that’s pretty insane, and I’m skeptical as to how many leads they get from it. Then again, I still don’t have clients, so who am I to say.

Incidentally, when I hit up the park on Friday afternoon, the third person I approached with my homebuying class flyer turned out to be an older woman walking with her small dog… As we conversed, she told me she was homeless and living in her car. I mean, you have to remark on the irony of it all, right? Here I am, scouring public places in search of buyers for homes that average near $1M, and now in front of me, another human needs a place to stay and a place to shower. She went into her whole sob story: her hubby supported them; he got very ill; she was his caretaker; he died in December and his family never liked or supported her so now she’s living in her car. Honestly, it was heartbreaking and I just kept thinking about those asshole Republicans in the House who just voted to strip healthcare from regular people. Luckily, she had a phone. I promised her I would look around for resources in the area and get back to her. She left.

Afterwards, I felt so ridiculous with what I was doing, so I walked a few blocks to the public library and asked the info desk for stuff on homeless resources. I also got a bicycle map with all the Sunnyvale streets. I went back to the park, called her, and then I circled/plotted a few key places. But when I dialed a bunch of numbers, the places were closed or the numbers no longer worked. And I was running out of juice on my damn phone. I told her I would research more and call her later. Had she eaten today? Yes. I gave her $20 for gas or food, and she was so touched and thankful, she started to cry as she walked away. Over $20, folks. It made me so sad seeing how such a small gesture and small amount of money moved her so much. It only goes to show that she has not seen much kindness. Poor lady.

I walked to my car parked on the other side of the park and then I just started to bawl. I mean, what kind of world is this where $20 represents some generous act of kindness that brings someone in apparent need to tears?!? The world is a fucked up place. I have always known and understood that life is unfair, but sometimes the disparity is just so jarring and disturbing. There really can be no god.

That night, I could not sleep. I got home and called a gabillion numbers. Wrong numbers. Closed. Fax numbers. It was a royal clusterfuck of an experience. I went to bed feeling completely frustrated and spoiled, what with my heated mattress topper. Fuck, what is she going to do?

At 7am the next morning, Evangelina called. She asked if I’d found anywhere for her to stay. No, but let me try again this morning. More internet research, more wrong numbers. I must have dialed 25+ places. When I did speak to people, their facilities were either full or there was a 2-4 month waitlist for housing, or they only helped victims of domestic violence or teens or pregnant women… Finally, around 9am, I found a 250-bed shelter in San Jose. The place guarantees the first night for anyone who is new. After that, they run a daily lottery for beds. I also spoke with two case workers who asked me to have Evangelina call them. I called Evangelina and was so relieved to finally give her some options.

J kept telling me that I’m such a good person for helping her. But strangely, I feel ridiculous: How easy is it for me to be able to pass her off to someone else so that the “system” can help her. I mean, it’s still a cop out no matter how you dice it. At the same time though, society makes you afraid and cautious…

I’m so grateful for the kind souls who do this kind of difficult social services work. And I am glad, esp in California that we have programs for people. I know in my heart of hearts, there isn’t much difference between Evangelina and me. The distinction is privilege– not even anything of my own doing. I live a fucking charmed life, and I want to remember that every. damn. day.

Bombogenesis

Well, we’re getting hit with another week of freakish weather. I know, people elsewhere in the country might think we California softies are just crying wolf, but hell, even the weather pros are calling this a “bombogenesis.” Yes, that’s the term the weather peeps are using for this weather bomb of high winds and rain! You’d think they’d coin a better word… I mean is bombogenesis a disease or some bizarre Biblical reference? WTF. Regardless, this heavy, pouring rain is getting to be ridic.

The good news is that we haven’t (yet) suffered any downed trees or power outages on the Houseboat, though that’s not to say shit couldn’t happen. My next door neighbor had a monster eucalyptus tree crash in his yard last year, just barely hitting the house. He and the wife were so concerned about further crashes that for few days while they wanted for crews to chainsaw the remaining branches and stabilize the tree, they slept in the other bedroom. Yikes.

I’m a little concerned too that our wet roof is well, getting more and more drenched. I sure hope nothing comes through the ceiling inside. The ground cover in my front yard (which I had re-designed last year to be drought-tolerate) is filling in nicely, but the roots of our ash tree, which in the past clogged our plumbing, is coming back with a vengeance. Suddenly, home ownership is sounding rather burdensome, right?

In other news, Bubs got back last night… just before the soaking wet blew in. He’s pretty pooped and still kinda on East Coast time. But we booked our hotel for Los Cabos next week. Woohoo! Actually, I had scored an awesome deal on a smaller local resort, but in the end, we upgraded to the JW Marriott. There’s just something consistent about those MNCs (multinational corporations). The biggest tip I wanted to share though? Thank goodness for my Costco card… especially for travel bookings. For example, consider the Cabo Marriott booking:

Hotels.com/Priceline.com: $659/night
Marriott.com (AAA rate): $521
Costco Travel: $421.

Yeah, it’s higher than I would normally do, but what can I say, it’s been a shitty last month. But seriously, isn’t the price difference just insane? I’m telling you: no matter what, whether it’s shoes or home improvement or whatever, you gotta comparison shop your ass!!!

Inaugural Open House

Now more than ever, I am feeling like there is just too much going on. On one hand, I am feeling invigorated… after all, I like to hustle. On the other hand, I am also feeling a lot of fear.

After returning to my bubble post-Montana, I hit the ground running. Lunch/dinner plans with former colleagues, evening networking meetups, trainings during the day, lender drop-ins, plus a whole lot of project management… Our master bath remodel is opening up a huge can of worms, involving meetings with general contractors, plumbers, roofers, and fireplace experts. Turns out, fixing the gas leak (which we discovered when we swapped out the water heater) will require new gas lines for the whole house which in turn will involve punctures through the roof, and actually, we’re kinda needing a new roof. Then the roofer guy also noticed dry rot and damaged wooden beams… so it’s all adding up. The biggest downside is that the new roof is the limiting factor and the roofers probably won’t get us scheduled until late March/April due to all the rain we’re getting this winter. Ah well, it’ll get done.

Meanwhile, I hit up some more banks and credit unions last week. Two duds and one meeting with a branch manager who wants to set up a subsequent meeting with her two loan officers. That meeting will be this Friday. Then, my colleague invited me to shadow an open house he was hosting on Saturday. I was super stoked but then on Friday, he ended up double-booking, so suddenly, I was set to host the open house solo! Say what??? Yup, all Friday night I looked at info about the house, including reports, other similar properties in the area, etc. I even created my own open house flyer. But shit, I had no open house road signs and the office was all out of them. And since it was my first one, I was reluctant about posting to social media and such, lest I be caught unprepared.

Needless to say, I stressed and prepared and the next morning, I got up early to preview area comps. By noon, I met up with my colleague who gave me some last minute info. Bc the property was a gated condo building, I had to post signs on the call box to NOT use the intercom (not hooked up to the unit) and to call my cell instead. I busted out my open house plastic bin filled with supplies, including sheet protectors, tape, scissors, etc. And my colleague and his hubby were super impressed. Haha, thanks to my open space days with all those damn events, I know about having a supplies bin!!

Inside the condo, I got settled (I was told to hide the knife block!!) and then off they went. Alone in the unit, I had about 30 minutes before the open house was set to start, and I started getting really stressed– mostly about my safety. Bc all of this happened so fast, I didn’t get to call a lender to ask them to cohost or anything. One of our real estate apps has a safety timer, where you set your location and if you don’t check in with the app after a certain period of time, the app notifies your emergency contact and sends out your location. So I called Bubs, who was still back East, to do a test. Um, test failed. Why? Bc I had super sketchy T-mobile cell signal in the goddamn apartment. WTF?? So then I set up Find my Friends with M and Bubs. I also had a lanyard with a safety whistle and pepper spray. Fuck man, my paranoid parents have pumped me up full of fear, I tell you. Even though it was cold outside, I decided to open the windows so people could hear me should I scream! And then I was fucking freezing. I’m telling you, this realtor shit is chock full of logistical puzzles.

In the end, only three parties visited in three hours. All Asians, and I even busted out my Chinese on the latter two. One guy was an investor and I didn’t have answers to most of his questions. I was so disappointed, and after he left, I realized I didn’t even get his contact info. Jesus Christ, I was so fucking nervous about the questions and then about my safety (not bc of him, just in general). Fortunately, bc he called my mobile at the callbox to let him in, I had his cell! So I found the answers to his questions (Owner occupied? Why selling? How much do similar units go for rent? How much is insurance?) and texted him. For the most part, two of the three parties liked the unit, but then they were turned off by the high HOA.

By the time 4pm rolled around, I was beat and I had a raging headache. But overall, I was proud of myself. I also got some ideas for more materials I want to have on hand next time (i.e. a map of the area with lots of pins to highlight accessibility and proximity to attractions/businesses, etc.).

Lord of the Fleas

I’m feeling better today from that damn cold. All of yesterday, I did an aggressive combo therapy, alternating between Chinese throat syrup and hot water + honey + lemon. Today is a new (not really) issue: fleas.

You see, I got eaten alive around the time that Marty passed away. That was before Christmas. Then, we figured that being away for Christmas and for New Year, with the temps dropping and the bugs having no warm bodies on which to feed, the fleas would just die off. We got back from MD and Pasadena and my legs are still itching like hell. Maybe I was still suffering from the remnant bites, bc I’d read that sometimes the bites take 2-3 weeks to heal…

Well then yesterday, I saw some live fleas on the new Rover client, a cutie shiba-corgi mix. I checked with the owner, and she said the dog’s been on prescription flea meds (which usually works amazing) since they got him. So is it our house then? I don’t know!

Before, our vet said the flea situation was bad the last few years bc of the drought. Well, our area is almost OUT of the drought now with all the rain we’ve been getting so I don’t know what the deal is now. John was giving me crap about having these dogs in the house, but what do you want me to do? I miss Marty terribly and while these doggies aren’t an adequate substitute, they do offer me some small ounce of joy.

Fortunately, the infestation isn’t major. I mean, J has yet to be bitten. It’s just that me with my sensitive skin… I’m resuming vacuuming daily as well as the additional spraying of lemongrass essential oils. John went to OSH to buy Borax, but the clerk said that shit has been flying off the shelves. All out.

I feel so behind with work and learning… Last Thursday before we headed off for Pasadena, I went to a local credit union to do my realtor intro to a loan officer. Got all dressed up and took my cone of popcorn… the guy was out and is by appointment only. Ugh. Then I tried to schedule something with a different bank, but yesterday I was sick and now she’s out until Friday. I feel like I need to just get it going so I can demonstrate to myself that it’s not that hard. Haha. Mind games to trudge forward.

Recent Reads

The other day, I was sitting around feeling sorry for myself bc well, Martin. Then, I came across this article, and it reminded me of something my father has drilled into my brain from a very young age: life is unfair. I have grasped that concept very well, particularly from the perspective of being someone so privileged and realizing that my life really is a cakewalk compared to what else is happening in the world. That’s not to dismiss my emotions and my pain, but… shit, this is some goddamn perspective: Do you care more about a dog than a refugee?

On the lighter side of things, this fascinates me bc it feels like something I would do. I mean, not the bar/hookup part, but the blast from the past kinda thing… A Valentine’s Hey.

Mood Swings

My mood has been all over the damn place lately. This week, I was feeling super energized work-wise. Every time I’ve gone into the office (just 10 minutes away!), I’ve met some really nice and friendly people. The vibe is so welcoming and cohesive! Also, the staff are on it! Like as soon as I submitted my formal paperwork, I was set up with the email account, website, intranet access, etc. Same day service! On Friday, the office also hosted a holiday party, and it was a lovely spread. I asked about taking something, and the organizers were all like: oh no, we’re ordering food so don’t worry about it. Mind you, this whole last month or two, bc I couldn’t formally submit my docs, I haven’t even had to pay any business fee or anything to attend all the trainings. They don’t care. They seem to really understand the concept of building goodwill. Anyway, I feel really good about my decision to join this office.

Of course, just as all of the work stuff is ramping up, Marty is not doing well. He is uncomfortable/restless at night. We administered 400 ml of fluids two days ago, and yesterday, he started eating again but his legs are increasingly weak. He’s been trembling a lot more, and then this morning, he was too weak to do much beyond going into the backyard. I just gave him another 350 ml this morning. If he’s not better by tomorrow, I’m going to take him to the vet. The decline is inevitable and yet my mind is still in some kind of denial… Thank goodness we aren’t traveling for Thanksgiving.

In other news, John and I are on weird sleep schedules again. I try to sleep in (wake up between 8-9AM) while he’s up early, but by mid-day, he’s all crashed out. He’s been reading a book lately about dictatorships and the principles of power and then watching new tv series like Narco and Black Mirror. All really thought-provoking, disturbing content about the crazy world we now live in and the hurdles that will come in the future. I’m still very sad and disillusioned with the elections to the point that I don’t feel emboldened or empowered at all. I signed a few petitions, but I’m still so disheartened. All the news about the potential cabinet members… it’s all fucked up. And I have lost faith. Even if we were to speak out and march and protest and write letters… ultimately, he and his cronies just DON’T CARE about the opposing point of view. You know what I mean? They think what they think and they are absolutely unapologetic, so how then do the pressures of protest change their minds or actions? I honestly do not see a way out of this fucking mess.

My friend J invited me to join her and the hubs for the Women’s March in DC the day after inauguration. Right now, that kind of action seems utterly pointless. And then Bubs keeps wanting to talk about all this stuff he’s reading: I cannot deal with the world right now!

And so, I can only proceed by focusing on my new business and on Martin. Otherwise, this shit is too damn overwhelming and paralyzing.

Tonight, we’ve got tickets to a magic show and dinner at the California Magic Theater in Martinez. The theater is like 70 minutes away, but I’m looking forward to the distraction. The world sure could use some more magic these days.

Evacuate

I was back at the office today attending a training on the escrow process. Once again, the instructors confirmed my parents’ past suspicions and fears, this time about wire transfer fraud. My parents still insist on using cashiers’ checks for big transactions and sure enough, my parents are right again! Crooks are getting insanely good at following homebuying/selling email threads: at the very last minute on the day of closing, they’ll try to sneak in changes to the wire transfer instructions. Some thieves have even dropped by the escrow office handing the secretary written change instructions for their escrow officer. Super tricky!! Apparently, some people have lost $6ook from a botched wire and that money is gone forever. Even the FBI is unable to get it back. So crazy!

Overall, the training was good. I sat next to a Vietnamese lady… she says her family is in the restaurant business in San Jose and she is doing real estate part time. She just got her license. She seemed very friendly and pleasant. I was also talking to another newbie who told me to check the BRE website, bc they post license certificates and numbers online under your account before they even mail that shit out. Holy fuck, it was there! So I now have my number and issue date and I am ready to proceed with all my marketing materials, i.e. business cards and website. Woot, woot!

Back on the home front, it was a chaotic day. The plumbers returned to run the pressure test and we failed again, which means there is a leak somewhere in our system. So he rechecked all the exposed and accessible joints and no luck. I was then kinda pissed thinking that they should have made sure all was clear before installing the tankless bc now we can’t pass inspection. Long story short, the head foreman came by in the afternoon to meye with us. All of us are perplexed by the gas lines in the house. The original system was laid in the concrete slab, then at some point that system was abandoned and the gas lines were moved above ground, seemingly up towards the roof and yet there are no visible gas lines on the roof. I then proceeded to ask my neighborhood list if they knew the layout for this model of home. On hearing the word leak, people replied urging us to evacuate and call PGE immediately. Thankfully, the plumbers had explained that the leak was minor enough to be safe, and according to Bubs, they did warn us to NOT call PGE bc if the utility found any leak, the gas would be shut off indefinitely.

In the time that John hopped on the phone with his sister for thirty minutes, I fielded the neighborhood responses and called PGE thinking maybe they would have some special tools to help locate the leak. Yes, I should have remembered from last time that once you mention leak to PGE, they are at your door pronto to investigate. So of course, we had plans just the two of us in the city that immediately got canceled. When I told John that PGE was coming, he was furious bc he was convinced we would get our gas turned off. He basically reacted to me like I was retarded, and I got very upset. As it turns out though, PGE has different (lower) standards for testing and we passed no problem. On one hand I was relieved to keep the gas on. On the other hand, I also felt some reassurance that the house was indeed safe by two sources.

I also learned from my neighbors that there is a specialty leak detection service where they can identify the leak without cracking open all the drywall… I have placed a call to learn more. But after sitting down this evening to re-evaluate  everything, John and I have decided that we will proceed with the bathroom expansion, which will involve moving the gas lines inside the hallway washer/dryer area and THEN we’ll tackle the leak issue should the remodel not resolve it. Other items on the work order include running a gas line to the fireplace. The other option is for us to get the chimney swept and we can just burn duraflames. I dunno. Ugh.

Of course this evening, Marty’s appetite soured and he puked like three times today. I ate some popcorn shrimp the other day and left the tails on the coffee table. At night he got into them and I suspect that triggered some kidney issues. I just gave him 400ml of subcutaneous fluids. Hopefully he’ll feel better tomorrow. Sigh. Tessa is coming over again for daycare. I had mentioned before about ending with her on a good note and her last visit went surprisingly well without any incidents with Martin. Tomorrow she’ll be over just for the day. Hopefully, all will go well.

Phil Dunphy

John and I finally went back to the gym last night. Twenty minutes on the recumbent bike was enough to get my lame heart rate going. Yup, back to Square 1! Of course, I was back to using all the gym amenities: sauna, towels, shower, toiletries, hair dryer, etc. Fuck man, our last utility bill was through the roof, so you know I’m playing my game again!

The new tankless water heater is working out so-so, to be honest. I mean, the purpose was to create more space in the master bath, but I guess neither one of us really thought through the part of having a delay in getting hot water. In retrospect, duh: there ain’t no 40 gallons of water kept hot at all times… It’s not a deal breaker, but it’s definitely an adjustment. The delay is maybe 30-40 seconds? maybe a minute?

The plumbers are coming back tomorrow. You see, last week before the install, they ran a pressure test and detected two gas leaks. (See? There WAS a gas leak on the Houseboat!!). At the time, the plumber fixed the big leak outside, but he said the smaller one was behind the old water heater, and he expected the removal of the old tank to make it a moot issue. So after the crew finished up yesterday, I texted the foreman just to be sure: do you need to re-test the gas pressure to make sure the second leak was indeed resolved by removal of the old tank? He said he wasn’t aware there were leaks detected before (poor internal communication) and that yes, they need to test again. That’s the thing with contractors. Bubbey was home the whole time they were here, and he never asked them a single question about it or anything else! I won’t be home again tomorrow, but I’m going to leave post-it notes. Bubs was also supposed to ask about running a water line to the fridge so we can hook up the ice maker.

I got a pretty late start today. Marty was restless last night, and he’s been trembling more than usual. Then his diaper was too loose, so early in the morning, it came off and Marty shit in the kitchen. Ugh. Thankfully though, after cleaning up, I was able to sleep in and wake up when rested.

I did more of my real estate training videos, and then I made Bubs do a photoshoot, so I could mock up my business cards. I’m not very keen on pictures of myself, and I’ve never really had formal/professional headshots taken, but hell, this is the new industry I’m in: the mugshot is standard. So we shot pics all around the house. In the end, Bubbey even whipped out his light diffusers from the garage and had me stand against a blank wall in the living room. With a little bit of Photoshop post-production, ONE pic came out ok. I mean, I am doing my usual Mona Lisa smile (Sorry, but my smile with teeth is AWFUL) and standing with a smug Stanley Roberts stance, but seriously, out of a gabillion pics, this is the best I can do. Now I’m just waiting on that damn license number from the BRE. Arrive in the mail, already! Sheesh!

Through all of this, I can’t help but think of Phil Dunphy in Modern Family. Shit, before you know it, I’m going to have my mug on signs and bus stations and vehicle wrappers all over town. JK! Hopefully, potential clients will see beyond my resting bitch face and give me some business!

 

Decency is Dead

After feeling rather motivated yesterday (having decided on my next career step), today I am totally in the dumps. My brain just keeps trying to explain how someone so consistently egregious in so many ways can rise to become President of the United States of America. There is something so viscerally wrong with this picture, and I am in utter despair that the world is broken beyond repair.

A part of me is looking for someone to blame. I am angry. And when I’m pissed off and upset, I revert to my family’s way of fighting… But in the end, I know that identifying a scapegoat doesn’t solve anything. The damage is done, and put simply, decency is dead. At this point, I am questioning humanity: I am feeling suspicious, defiant, and extremely judgmental. So many people made bad decisions yesterday. Ultimately, you just can’t reason with crazy.

Even so, the diplomatic dance began already, with calls for unity, openmindedness, and collaboration. Well, like the Dixie Chics once said, I’m not ready to make nice. At all.

How did she possibly make that concession speech? For one thing, how did she not crumble and lose her shit in despair and defeat and disappointment? Her strength and resilience and poise is beyond what I can truly comprehend…

Sure, like Obama says, the sun will still rise tomorrow, and we’re all on the same side: Team American. Um, yeah no. And yet, in spite of my defiance and refusal to accept and move forward, there are no other options. Are we to hope that Trump reins in his unpresidential behavior and evolves quickly into someone respectable? Um, don’t people say past performance is a strong indicator of future performance? I’m not stupid. His pattern has been consistent and what, all of the sudden, him moving into the White House is going to turn him into an educated, even-tempered, inclusive non-asshole? Yeah right. People say that at Thanksgiving, we’ll all still gather around the feast with our loved ones who voted for Trump. Um, again. Not ready. I agree: in general, politics shouldn’t ruin your relationships, but shit, in the case of Trump… I simply cannot reconcile this. at. all.

The impact is tremendous. Can we expect the Republican Congress and Republican judicial system to keep his executive branch in check? I am skeptical.

I get that the political landscape has and will continue to ebb and flow through cycles. But shit, this decision feels different. This decision feels like a real death blow. A total Game Over. I don’t know that the pendulum will ever come back or recalibrate to center. We’re in a new world order: decency is dead, and it ain’t ever coming back.