Category Archives: Health

Scratchy Sheets

I swear, every time I go home to Maryland, I feel like a goddamn diva. I arrive at my parents’ house and I mean, it’s the usual, so I don’t know why I even bother writing about it. All the lights in the house are on timers. I know they travel back and forth multiple times a year, but Jesus Christ, if you’re going to be home for longer than a month, can you at least turn the switch on the timer to “live outlet”?? Without fail, evening approaches and the room gets dark as fuck, I go to turn on the lamp and no response. It’s not a HUGE deal to take that extra step of feeling around in the dark for the timer on the floor, but still. Kinda annoying.

Then, I sleep in the first floor suite bc it’s warmer, but for that part of the house (Don’t worry, we’re not in some kind of Aaron Spelling mansion), dad shuts off the water heater. So, rather than turning that shit on like the day I’m coming home, he just says, use the bathroom upstairs for hot water. Lovely. I suppose the ice cold water is good for washing my face, considering my face is still inflammed. Perpetually swollen bc 1) I have RBF (resting bitch face) 2) I’m still crying every day about Marty. And whatever, I can use the bathroom upstairs but the fucking drain has some kind of clog and by the time I’m done with my five-minute shower, I am standing in like 2 inches of dirty water! Argh!!!

The final straw regarding home accommodations is the sheets. You have now idea: my parents have a humongous hall closet upstairs stuffed to the brim with linens. I get to the bedroom where I have stayed the last several years and there’s a cheap polyester quilt on top of the mattress. They didn’t even bother to put fucking fitted sheets on the mattress. For reals. Am I being a big-time diva, or is it fair to expect them to put legit sheets on the bed when their progeny flies across the country to visit. WTF. Then, the comforter is another 100% polyester POS that they don’t even stuff into a duvet cover. Instead, they just put the duvet cover and the comforter on top. Thankfully, the cover is cotton (the only thing that is), so I have that against my skin. Here’s the deal. I have super sensitive skin: I mean, I might as well have a legit medical skin condition bc I get itchy really easily and am susceptible to rashes, hives, minor bug bites (that invariably turn into welts), shingles, acne, what have you…

So this cheap polyester shit makes me itch. And, I forgot to mention that I am still recovering from flea bites all over my ankles… I suppose some kind of parting gift from Marty. You see, the whole week before his passing, I was itching like hell and we had fleas once before, so I was telling John that I suspected fleas and he just kept dismissing it all as my usual skin sensitivities. Mind you, home boy NEVER gets bitten by bugs. Until one day, he spots a black speck on his foot: oh ok, high alert: we have fleas. Yeah asshole, that’s what I have been saying… whatevs. Same shit happened when I got the shingles years ago. I kept telling him the blisters around my trunk were super itchy and painful. Oh just go take a shower. Put on some lotion. Change into new PJs. Fuck you. I went to the doctor and had to get put on super serious prescription meds. And if you read up on shingles, that shit is no games: like neurological issues. Anyway… so I ask my mom where the good sheets are, like COTTON sheets. She comes back with another polyester blend comforter. WTF??? I went upstairs to the linen closet and it’s all towels. Where are the goddamn bedding sets? Forget it. Supremely annoyed, I just sleep on the scratchy shit.

As the night progresses, my skin gets drier (from the heat) and itchier. My bug bites flare up and by 5:30am, I still haven’t slept. I rip off the comforters and take the one cotton duvet cover and essentially put it on the mattress, lie on top and then fold the other half of it over me so I’m in a cotton burrito. The whole time, I am SMH. Why does it have to be like this?

The conclusion on my diva-like behavior? I gotta take things into my own hands. I am purchasing a 100% cotton travel sack from Amazon and this shit is coming with me anytime I visit Maryland again. Fucking A. The odd thing is, for my entire childhood, my grandmother was obsessed with BVD and cotton everything. Have we learned nothing???

 

Carpolepsy

Bubs and I are back from a quick jaunt in Oregon. It’s been many years since we last visited: we had some friends who did the Hood to Coast race, so we’d hit up Astoria, Portland, and then the Eugene area. But this trip was focused less on the city and more on wine country! Yeah, I still don’t consider myself a foodie, but I like many of the things wine country offers: incredible scenery, deluxe outdoor chill space, ranch animals, stunning buildings and tasting rooms, and yummy snacks.

So first of all, Oregon is slow. I drove 45 mph on the interstate. No joke. Second, there sure are a lot of hipsters. I thought Portlandia was a hyperbole. Not so. That shit is spot. on. Lots of monster beards and very funky clothes. But people are nice and somehow not as snooty as the SF hipsters. Finally, shit is cheap. Yup, that part wins me over every. damn. time. So now, no more Paso Robles for our project idea but maybe Oregon wine country??? We’ll see.

We did a lot in a few short days. Sadly though, on our way to Mt. Hood, I got carsick, then popped a Dramamine, and then carpolepsy ensued. I missed so much of this gorgeous drive. I dunno whether the drowsiness was exacerbated by the Dramamine: I kinda feel like I have a history of getting ridiculously tired riding in cars. Like drugged-out tired. I was so frustrated to have missed everything that the first night after we got back to the hotel, I looked this shit up. I mean, I have a problem. Carpolepsy (ok, that’s a term in urban dictionary) aka highway hypnosis. It’s a form of motion sickness but not much explanation beyond that. Fucking A, man. In the mean time, I am getting back on the vitamins train, bc this no energy bullshit just cannot keep happening.

Another interesting surprise from the trip? J and are pinot drinkers, and we always felt like we enjoyed pinots from the Central Coast (Santa Barbara region) more than those from Williamette Valley in Oregon. But strangely, when we tasted the pinots on this trip, the wines were pretty good. Hmm, had our taste buds changed? Was there something with drinking them at the source? Perhaps the flavors actually differed winery to winery rather than just region to region? Not sure what happened. Bubbey says we ought to be careful about drawing conclusions based on very limited sample size. Ok, my data scientist. Regardless, the wines were a pleasant surprise. My preferences are now leaning towards old vine zinfandel, so I hear that Lodi, CA is the next wine region to hit![FAG id=7483]

What else. J and I are getting along great. I’ve come to realize that being together for so long, we really have this unspoken understanding about so many things, for example, our style of travel, our preferences, our behaviors, and habits. It’s a really nice luxury to have someone just be able to anticipate things on your behalf. It’s hard to explain more specifically, but I feel lucky and grateful for my Bubbey.

Of course, after a few days of total chill, I awoke our final morning in Oregon all stressed. First off? I received an email from Southwest at 7am. You have completed 4 of 10 flights for the California companion pass promo. Say what? That cannot be right. Immediately, I popped out of bed bc this shit was a Code Red. Got on the phone with customer service. He went trip by trip. Goddamnit, the flight to Burbank (LA) for BlogHer didn’t count, bc I actually bought the tickets before the promo window. ARGH!!! I mean I had called earlier and the agent then said it counted, but fuck, both of our bads. I am already feeling over-traveled (I know, first world problems), and I thought I would be done after Tahoe. Nope. I need one more round-fucking-trip before Taiwan. Goddamnit. Thankfully, my smart friend M planted an idea that if anything, I can just do a quickie day trip flight down to LA and back. Like just grab lunch at the airport. And at this point, that’s what I’m going to do, bc there’s a lot of other shit going on…

The MD townhouse sale is still pending… The buyers had a home inspection and came back asking for more, for course. That resulted in yet another conflict between me and my agent. Stressful, bc I am not world-class emotionally intelligent like Bubs. Also, bc the closing date falls while we’re all in Taiwan, I’ve got to arrange power of attorney. Thank goodness, M is stepping up to the challenge. I just hope all the paperwork and shit gets done right bc there has already been a lot of back and forth with the title attorney. Whatever, it’ll get worked out.

In other news, I finally received the green light from the Bureau of Real Estate to take the exam. I’ve got it scheduled for Monday, Oct. 11. And I am having a lot of anxiety about it. I’ve always had anxiety about standardized tests… it goes way back to the SATs, ACTs, and GREs. I ultimately did fine on them (though I never scored as high as my parents wanted), but I get insomnia and tummy issues and numb hands just thinking about it. I keep trying to talk myself through: it’s not as dire as my body is reacting but shit, it just dredges up all the pressures and expectations from the past. Anyway, the plan is to take a 2-day crash course next weekend and then crank it out Tuesday morning in Oakland.

Needless to say, my brain was just preoccupied with all this crap and then when we returned the rental car, the rep suggested that we caused a dent by the gas cap. Are you fucking kidding me? Then I had to speak with the manager. I showed her my before photos, but I didn’t get a straight on shot of that area. I explained that when we arrived, there was a huge wait. We did go around the car with a dude, but the lighting in the garage was poor and the car had just been washed so the dent would have been difficult to see with all the reflections from the garage lighting. On top of that, later, John reminded me that when I had pointed out an indentation (but no superficial scratch) on the trunk to the check-out dude, he had specifically told us they were just looking for major things… The manager gave me her cell and said she would review the garage footage on their cameras and call me before the end of the day. She was very nice but I was just annoyed, like what kind of scam is this? It’s not like you’re going to repair that indentation so why would you charge me?

So we arrive at the gate, and I’m just overwhelmed. I reach for my ipad to get some writing therapy in, and holy fuck: I left my ipad in the rental car. Noooo!! There was this new console design in the car with an underneath platform for your purse/bag, and I set my iPad there bc I was using it for map navigation. OMG!!! So I called Robbie (the manager) and thankfully she went and got it. I then had to go back out to the rental car area (thank goodness it was onsite!!) and then back through security again. See? Totally frazzled.

In the end, all is fine. We got back and Marty is good. Weaker but good. No accidents. I’ll take the test in ten days. I’ll get the Companion Pass eventually. The house will sell one way or another. And vitamins are gonna give me that extra boost to power through the next several weeks (You know Taiwan ain’t gonna be a walk in the park!).

Solid Waste Engineer

I’ve been wearing my solid waste engineer hat a lot lately. After Marty was doing amazeballs for so damn long, he’s back on the down swing. His appetite had been so strong for the last few weeks that we started giving him more snacks and treats bc well, he enjoyed them so much. Turns out, there IS such a thing as killing them with kindness. On Friday, he didn’t have appetite at all and for the last two days, he’s been hacking and puking sporadically. I looked at my vet handbook and it looks like the kidney disease is flaring up again. And of course, the added pressure from his coughing caused him to poop in his bed and then he’s also been wetting the bed due to incontinence. So lots of cleaning and laundry. Pretty much anytime he gets a bite of anything, he’ll puke again minutes later. Ugh. So now he is super weak.

J and I gave Marty his sub-cutaneous fluids this afternoon… it has been so long since we’ve had to do this regularly, and the last time, he totally wigged out when the needle went in. So I’m always stressed now about poking him. But this time, he was so tired, he got up but didn’t react as dramatically. I just hope it makes him feel better and then again, we just need to be super strict about sticking to his diet. Poor baby Marty. My bad.

Meanwhile, the neighbors went away for the weekend, so I’m on pet duty. This entails letting the chickens in and out of their coop morning and night, refilling their food/water, and then dealing with the kitty (feeding and litter box). So yesterday, I go over there, and the litter box is like chock full of shit. Already, I’m allergic to cats and then I spent like five minutes nonstop scooping/sifting the gabillion chunks of shit into the trash, with dust flying everywhere. I have NEVER seen a litter box so full. Must have been like a week’s worth of stuff. So fine, whatever. J says it’s not my responsibility to do that, but I mean, what kitty wants to take a dump in a mindfield?? Who knows what’s going on: people get busy, other pressures, whatever. Get ‘er done. After I get home, I proceed to have a full-blown allergy attack that lasts the rest of the night. Jesus Christ.

Needless to say, I have not been sleeping well for the last week. And yesterday, we broke our 6-day gym streak… with deep dish pizza, mind you. The pizza is completely devoured now, and today it’s back to the gym. I’m thinking I’ll wade around in the pool today, bc my muscles are sore as fuck. Maybe I’ll also use the wet sauna to clear out the sinuses.

Back to the Gym

After Bubs and I nearly died gasping for air in Aspen, we returned home kinda scared straight. Time to get back to the damn gym and build up that cardio, right? J had been pushing to join Equinox in Palo Alto bc his sister S is a member of the SF facility. It’s super swanky and posh, it has the free Kiehl’s products and whatever. On the other hand, I was voting for the JCC bc I just used it in June/July as part of a Groupon, it’s cheaper, and it’s super close to home.

We toured both facilities last weekend, and the winner is the JCC! Woo hoo! I mean, the decision actually ended up being a no brainer bc the Equinox is just way pricey ($190/month pp!) plus they don’t have indoor bball courts or a dry sauna. And their pool is tiny. Add to that, a 12-month minimum membership… uh, sorry, not gonna happen.

So we’ve been hitting the gym every day since joining. For the first time, I tried circuit training on these machines called TechnoGym. Wow, super smooth, natural movement! What an improvement from the Nautilus machines of my college years! Another day we did the spin class– the first class ever for Bubs and the first cycling class for me. What a nightmare!! I do NOT like to work out to the point of exhaustion. For reals, this body’s got zippo endurance and stamina and while I want to become healthier, I’m not trying to be a ninja warrior or anything. Of course the instructor was super nice and helpful, getting us all set up in the beginning with adjusting the bike. Afterwards, she told us to come back within the week for class 2, bc if we give the body too much time off, it’ll have to start from scratch again. Huh?

I’m really disappointed bc I don’t think this form of exercise is for me (my ass got so fricking numb!!), but someone in the class said she lost 15 lbs. in a month from spin class. And J seems to like it, so I guess I’m going to try and be a supportive spouse. There’s a class scheduled for this afternoon, and I’m going to dig out my padded shorts (that I used before for horseback riding)… Ugh.

Love is in the Air (but O2 is NOT!)

So Bubs and I were in Aspen, CO to celebrate our 20-year anniversary. We had visited Denver/Boulder several times in the past (Boulder was on our list of places to live), but we’d never been to Aspen. Of course, I was trying to clock in another trip on Southwest, so without a second thought, I booked to DEN figuring we would just drive to Aspen. Well, the trip started off rather rocky. As soon as we arrived, we headed to Fox Rental Car. For some reason, when I was booking our plans, rental car rates were through the roof. Like $800 for four days. I checked EVERYwhere, including my goto Costco Travel codes and nothing. Finally, a few days later, I looked again and I was able to get Fox through Priceline for $300. Fine. Booked.

Well, turns out, there’s a reason Fox is the cheapest. There was a monster line of people, with the wait being an hour plus to the registration desk and then another 25 min waiting for them to pull the car around. Un-fucking-believable. And even more unbelievable, not a damn soul lost his/her cool. Between Bubs and me, I am the calmer one in situations like this, so I did the waiting in line and talking to the rep. But still. It was so damn inefficient and chaotic, I could have sworn we were on a bloopers show. Whatev. Got the car, and oddly, I was the only one taking pics of the car. I mean, if you read the Yelp reviews, Fox charges an extra $150 deposit and many people have complained about not getting it back. Especially with rental car companies, I always take videos/pics of the car before and after. I need proof of the condition just in case. People looked at me like I was cray cray, but heck, when dealing with swindlers, you can never be too cautious about CYA.

Off we went. John researched a little pierogies stop. Seriously, I had forgotten all about those delicious morsels filled with potatos and cheese. John had to remind me that those frozen buggers were a staple in my grad school diet. Jesus, those days where the days when my diet consisted of sub sandwiches, beans/rice, hummus/pita, and these carb-loading fuckers. Damn, my young metabolism was fast. I piled all kinds of fatty foods into my piehole to no consequence whatsoever. All that brain activity just burned everything up. Haha.

Anyway, the drive to Aspen was looong. Not too bad as a passegner considering that I sleep well in moving vehicles. It’s the oddest thing: I have insomnia and cannot sleep in a normal setting but once I’m in a moving vehicle, I totally zonk out. As if I’m drugged. For real. And that level of delirium/drowsiness was even stronger on this trip. I could NOT keep the eyes open to save my fucking life! So surely, I missed all kinds of gorgeous scenery. Actually, it reminded me of our honeymoon in SF in 2003. John had rented a convertible and we were driving down Route 1 along the coast… I mean, the most beautiful drive, right? And shit, I could not stay awake. Fucking lame-ass body.

As we got closer to Aspen, the roads started going higher in elevation (Denver was already 5200 feet) and getting more windy. So of course, I get car sick with the headache and nauseas. I pop a Dramamine (later than recommended) and by the time we reach Independence Pass on the Continental Divide (13,000 ft), I might as well be drunk. We get out of the car, start walking the path to the scenic point, and holy fuck, maybe just 100 meters in, and I am feeling all this pressure in my upper chest. WTF is happening? Light-headed, dizzy, and gasping for air. Fuck it. Let’s get back on the road. We gotta get to lower elevation. That was pretty much the story of this trip.

Once we got to Aspen, it was beautiful and we definitely ventured out into the city, into nearby Snowmass Village, as well as to the famous Maroon Bells. But man, we had all these plans to rent bikes and hike around… nope. All thwarted. We did some exploring but goddamn, we were tired! And that hotel bed was amazing! Limelight Hotel. Awesome. With a bed even more comfy than the Westin bed. For reals. I wrote down the brand of sheets and all. We slept a shit ton. And normally, the younger version of me would be all pissed about that. But shit, as 40 y/os who have seen it all, fuck it. We’re tired and the bed is comfy. Just give in.

Of course, we still tried hard to take advantage of the amenities. Daily breakfast was included and fucking delicious: hot foods, cold foods, fruit, sweets, savories… everything. The pool and hot tubs were amazing… impeccably maintained without the usual annoying over-chlorinated odor. One of the days, we took out the hotel’s Audi Q7, which is available to guests for a 2-hr test drive. That was fun, esp considering our Fox rental car was a POS Ford Focus with zippo power going up the mountains. I know, the Fox guy tried to warn me and upsell me, but dude, I’m already dropping $300 on your shitty business. No way.

Another day, we rode the Aspen bus (so clean and pleasant and also FREE) to Maroon Bells, a famous set of peaks set in a u-shaped basin formed by glaciers. Super cool. We had planned to hike the easy trail around the lake, but it was closed due to moose activity, so kinda a bummer but it was also pretty great spotting two meese brothers. Not as up close as in WY, but still solid.

What else. I learned that Aspen is the most expensive town in the USA. Holy fuck. Anytime I travel anywhere, I pull up Zillow just to scout out real estate prices. Aspen had so many properties like consistently in the $10-15M range. Mindblowing. I mean, it’s def a cool old mining town, but I mean, the big city is so fricking far away… like 3 hrs! If it’s gonna be the most expensive town, it had better have good big city access and amenities. And the landscape was beautiful but I mean, it wasn’t Banff gorgeous or Grand Teton majestic… I guess we were also in the shoulder season. Maybe fall with the changing leaves would be more impressive on the global scale. Or maybe if we were winter sports people… Oh and holy crap, so white. I think the whole time there, I saw one black person and maybe four Asians, including myself. What??

Food was tasty but not blow-your-socks off good. I know, I sound like a lame pu-pu platter. I’ve just traveled so much that it takes a lot to impress me, right? Haha, what a fucking snob! Our anniversary dinner was at some fancy restaurant run by the chef of Nobu. As John’s sister commented earlier, a mountain town with no Asians is probably not the best place to eat sushi… and well, touche. To make matters worse, bc I had an alcoholic bev at the French bistro for Happy Hour beforehand, I think the altitude sickness got triggered again by dinnertime. And unfortunately, we had to rush out of the sushi place bc I seriously thought I was going to barf. I know, I swear to God, we are being taped on the Truman Show. Only us.

Our journey back home was another laborious ordeal. For the entire 3-hr drive back to DEN, it poured rain. We were just feeling so tired that we decided to go home early and try for the earlier flight. Well, Southwest was gonna charge us another $300 pp to hop on the earlier flight so that was a no go. Instead, we hung out at the airport Westin and then walked around the airport… for like 5 hrs. At this point, we were still having labored breathing. So the moral of the story for us? We aren’t rated for high elevation. And it’s time to hit the gym to strengthen our cardio. I mean, the books all say altitude sickness can affect all kinds of people, from young to old from athletes to non-fit people so maybe it’s not a reflection of our physical fitness. But regardless, we’re scared straight. Peru and the Inca Trail is off the bucket list until we can train up our bodies. In the meantime, it feels damn good to be back home breathing all this abundant oxygen again!![FAG id=7472]

My Rover Record

Man, my sleep continues to be all kinds of fucked up. I dunno what my deal is: I just can’t stop thinking about shit. Need to get back on that Calms Forte stuff for sure.

I was up early this morning, bc I heard Bubble Boy moving about in the living room. Yeah, for someone who is deaf, I can always hear the doggies. Marty just has to shuffle in his bed, and I’m up. So I took Sparky out to pee. Yeah, Sparky is kinda a lot of work, bc if you just let him out back on his own, he gets all into the far corners of the yard and starts digging in the mulch. And that damn schnoodle (schauzer-poodle) fur is like felt– it picks up everything. SMH. After he peed, we came back inside. I went back to bed. Thirty minutes later, he came into the bedroom and jumped on the bed. Weird. He hardly ever comes into the bedroom. We shooed him off and then he proceeded into my bathroom and started barfing. WTF? Then he walked down the hallway and puked again. Huh? We never even deviated from his special diet!! He went outside again and then seemed mostly fine. I entered into the kitchen and holy fuck, there was urine by the kitchen door. Seriously? The day before his last day and all at once?

I started getting worried, like maybe he’s sick? Thankfully, he was back prancing around on our walk to the park. I texted his mom to report the odd behavior. I was a little worried she’d pepper me with a ton of questions, but she just said sometimes he gets an upset tummy, pukes, and returns to normal. Ok then! The rest of the morning, he’s appeared fine. Whew! I can’t be marring my Rover record, you know? 🙂

In other news, my Big Brother system is working out great with the parentals. I check in periodically to see if they are out and about. The renovations are done at the townhouse, so the house listed today. Goddamn, housing in Maryland is cheap! I’m a little concerned bc a lot of properties in that range and area seem to be bank owned or foreclosed, which kinda brings the values down. But we’ll see. We’re pretty happy with the reno work: not too expensive and more importantly, on time! Woohoo!

I’ve been meaning to report back on the SmileDirect Club stuff. I was almost ready to do it. I still need to video the animated treatment plan, bc that shit is what nearly sold me. In the end though, I talked with my friend/esthetician G and she seriously thought I was mad. She kept asking to see my smile and my teeth… she was like, “you know, we all have our hangups, but to me, it’s completely unnecessary and like borderline ridiculous/crazy.” The thing is, I hate my smile. Not just bc my teeth are crooked, but bc my nose is too big and my lower lips expose the entire mouth full of teeth. If you study beautiful smiles (which I have), you’ll notice that only the upper teeth show and the smile doesn’t compete with other overpowering facial features. Anyway, long story short, I decided to pass for now on the aligners bc even if my teeth were straighter, I’d still be unhappy with my smile. Pretty much, I would need a face job to fix that shit.

Of course, to compensate for the inaction with repairing my smile, I moved forward on my tatted brows. I had gotten microblading done years ago when I was in Shanghai and I loved it. My brows are super sparse (bc I’m practically hairless) so the added color and definition works wonders. For the last several months, I’d been hand drawing/enhancing that shit and honestly, I’m getting sick of the day-to-day inconsistencies with the arch and thickness and whatever. So I had done some research on local vendors months ago, and then I found a Groupon deal and, I moved on it! Last week I was all set to do it, but then as I talked to Bubbey and some friends, they all sounded really apprehensive. Like, are you sure you want to go to a Groupon lady? Even her regular price of $300 seems way cheaper than other places that typically charge $500 and up. Why is she so cheap, they asked with suspicion? So I booked the appointment and figured I would just talk to her first and assess on site.

Well, on my way over to the appointment, I started getting all stressed in the car. What if the tattoo is fucked? What will I do for the next 1-2 years? Maybe I can cover it up with concealer, blah, blah. I was freaking myself out. Then, when I arrived at the salon, it was essentially a coworking salon space, so there were a ton of stylists and all the customers were old white women. Like grandmas!!! Oh shit!!! She emerged from her room 30 minutes late for the appointment (the previous appointment ran over), but when I saw her, she was this cute and pretty little Cambodian lady. Hey man, first impressions are legit. Her brows were kinda sharp/angled and they were filled brows not microbladed, but dang, she had a beautiful face and very pretty eyes! She was all frazzled about running behind schedule… In the end though, it all turned out fine. She said I had done an excellent job penciling my brows (!!!), so she was going to basically follow the same shape. She penciled in the area first. It looked fine. I was trying not to be too perfectionist and overly obsessive. I lied back, she spread on the numbing gel, and she got to work. It wasn’t really painful, but the pressure on the brows is intense and the scraping noise is a little unnerving. Scrape, scrape, scrape and then she does heavy wiping of the area with a damp napkin. Repeat. Not very gentle for the tender eye area but I think it’s necessary for her to distinguish where there is hair and not. Then she started explaining how there’s a lot of variability with people’s face muscles, like depending on your dominant eye and how you make expressions. I was thinking: man, beauty is already so subjective and then to throw in all these other factors: shit, this is a high stress job!!! Should she spend more time studying my face muscles? I started to worry again. Then voila, my right eye was done. She moved onto the left eye… the pressure felt stronger and the lower part of the brow felt super sensitive. And that damn scraping… fuck man, the things we do for vanity!! She said my left muscles are weaker so I was bleeding more. She applied more numbing cream.

She paused and gave me the mirror. I brought it up to my face. OMG, that right arch is high!! Shit. Is that arch a little high, I asked? She said she followed my pencil. Uh…. Then I sat up. Thank fucking god. Much better. Since I was lying down, my face was pulled back a little. After I sat up, much better. I mean, the arch is still quite distinct, but mostly bc she cleaned up the under brow area big time. We continued. After about 40 minutes under, all done. And then my brows started stinging like a mother fucker. Burning. The new brows are def dramatic and dark (the color will fade 20-30% in the coming weeks as the brows scab over) but I’m pleased. For freehand work, that lady’s got skillz. I go back next month to touch up the color and do any minor tweaks. What a relief it all turned out!

It’s now been a few days and the aftercare just involves dabbing dry after washing and then applying Vaseline. I am digging the permanent makeup thing. Not that my brows took that much time in my routine, but it’s cool to just have them consistently low maintenance. Of course, the next day, what did I do? J and I took the convertible up to San Rafael, and we hung out with his sister S and her buds, eating oysters along Tomales Bay. I fucking sunburned my forehead really bad. Fucking blazing red. Been icing and putting on lotion but that shit is still red. Hope the skin calms down real soon.

[FAG id=7466]

Parental Relations

Ahead of my trip, I def had a ton of reservations. There was a lot to do, and I’d been feeling a little apprehensive, like maybe mom’s health was on the decline and dad was keeping it on the downlow… I just hadn’t really spoken to her on the phone in recent weeks, so I was starting to worry. Thankfully, she’s doing fine– being her same old self, so that’s a relief. Both of them appear ok. Dad hasn’t had his dizziness/imbalance issues. They did both stop exercising since returning from Taiwan, but I’m planning to get them walking again before I leave town…

So far, we’ve been getting along fine. Funny thing: on our drive home from BWI, I told my parents about my Rover and eBay/Craigslist escapades. I actually expected my parents to not really be impressed at all since I was just earning a few Bubbey bucks here and there, but to my surprise, they actually loved the idea. And they thought both Rover and Ebay/CL were a good fit for me in terms of running ops and being prompt/responsive. I was pretty darn blown away. Maybe it was in the way I told my story: they laughed at my stealthy strategies for converting my Rover meet and greet visitors into clients! Haha.

In other family news: the other night, I spoke with one of my aunts in Taiwan (my father’s oldest sister). Aunt G is the aunt who most closely follows the philosophy of filial piety, so she always drones on and on about how much she loves her father (my paternal grandfather) and how she wants to spend as much time as possible with him…. that’s all fine and dandy but then she also goes on to talk about how well respected my dad is in their town and how he’s so smart and wise and successful… I mean, all those things are true. Indeed, of all the people I’ve encountered in my long life of 40 years, he’s without doubt the smartest, most hardworking, most moral person ever. But the way my aunt couches every conversation about him, she starts expressing disbelief at how little time (Johnny and) I spend learning from dad. His wisdom extends so far beyond just medicine, she exclaims. We have access to this incredible resource and what have we done with it?!? It’s hard to explain, bc I’m sure her intention is only the highest praise for my dad, but sometimes it just really comes across like, “Look how amazing your father is, and what a shame you and your brother are no where near that level of greatness. How can you two be his progeny?” It’s a bit like, you’re not good enough to be his kids.

The thing is, I am well aware of the stark contrast, and admittedly, I don’t work nearly as hard as my dad. BUT, at the same time, my brain capacity is what it is, you know? Like my dad remembers every fricking stock transaction… it doesn’t matter how long ago the transaction. He just remembers that and a shit ton of other details. Meanwhile, I can’t even remember how much I paid yesterday for a gallon of gas! So yeah, he remembers interest rates and stock values and rent payments and physics principles and math and ALL that stuff… Maybe working in medicine required him to memorize a lot of info and that trained up his brain? I don’t know, but even among doctors, his brain capacity still seems extraordinary. The point is, in Chinese culture, evolution and legacy are super important themes. The curve is supposed to keep going up over time, whether it’s family wealth or quality of life or success or whatever. So every time I have some version of this conversation with my Aunt G, I just visualize a graph that for all the generations before, steadily increased, and then at me, it dropped. It sucks to be the lame one. I mean, it could be worse: I could be my brother, but still.

Ah well, it’s pointless to dwell on my inadequacies and failures. Ultimately, it’s more productive and helpful to just focus on how I can return this favor of a privileged life provided by my parents. There are things I can do that my father can’t, and I suppose we can fill the gaps together. So that’s that.

The Artist (Formerly Known as…)

My sleep is all jacked up again. Every time I’m about to visit with family, my anxiety level goes up. And on top of my family woes, there are also a number of other factors that are weighing on me: Bubbey is unhappy at work again, his back is NOT getting better, I’m stressed thinking about all the oldies (my grandparents and Marty) and their increased health problems, and I am still trying to learn my real estate stuff as fast as possible… My brain just can’t seem to ramp up fast enough though. On top of that, I’m out of shape. So yeah, overall, I’m feeling overwhelmed.

But given my experiences from last week, between visiting with S and her Camp Wonder girls and having Buddy pass away, I am trying really hard to maintain perspective and to just focus on the smaller steps.

Yesterday, I didn’t study as much as I had wanted, but I did reach out to various contacts. Yeah, the Unabomber had a lot of people interaction yesterday. I called Virgin America again and got the remaining points redeposited. Then I called SmileDirect Club and peppered them with a gabillion questions. Wow, that customer service rep Randall is GOOD! What a relief to find someone knowledgeable, helpful, AND attentive. A goddamn unicorn these days! Yeah, I got my treatment plan last week along with an animation and Im pretty darn inpressed! They expect treatment to be only six months!! I’m so tempted but am still sitting on the decision. More on SmileDirect Club later. After that, I contacted a few computer repair/tech support vendors to inquire about home visits. Found a responsive shop, but they mostly do businesses only. Then upgraded my care.com account and researched personal assistants for my parents. I swear to god, the sharing and/or gig economy has not made it to Frederick. Slim pickings, I tell you. I should have known, considering that even Yelp doesn’t have enough critical mass there. I found ONE dude who had “computer help” in his profile. And most other general personal assistant profiles aren’t even active, with 5-7 day response times and log ins from 3 months ago. WTF? Regardless, I reached out to that one dude, and we’ll see when he gets back to me.

Meanwhile, I’m still hustling through my eBay store, Craigslist, NextDoor, and OfferUp sites. Trying to sell my stuff and all. Somehow the physical decluttering makes me feel better. So I got a bite for my old mattress yesterday, and the dude showed up with his friend– some chick with green hair. We were talking and then, he asked if I was an artist or musician? Say what? Haha, I could not stop smiling. I mean, I was wearing my crazy floral jeans but shiit, his comment made my fucking day. And they bought the mattress to boot (didn’t even haggle)! As soon as I got back inside, I sent a giddy text to Bubs. The simplest things crack me up. That’s the thing about first impressions though. I’m always curious about the clues we use to make our split second judgements… It’s such an interesting part of human interactions.

Anyway, in the evening, I had someone respond to my NextDoor posting for Bubbey’s old Mac tower. I had received a few bites last week, with people making outrageous lowball offers, but this dude came by, checked everything out, and bam, sold! Maybe I’m just not as trusting, but this guy was all surprised that I had set the tower up with an old monitor and keyboard and mouse, so he could drive around in the OS. I mean, were you just going to visually inspect, buy, test it out at home, and risk having to find me again if it didn’t work as described?? And it was $375, not just chump change! Oh well, regardless, it worked out great and he even had me keep the change. Yay! The guy himself is a CAD designer, and he was getting it for his friend who’s starting grad school in video/cinematography editing. So cool to be amongst the creatives! Haha. You know me: always wishing I were cooler than I am.

What else. My third Schoola shipment arrived yesterday. I know, it seems like I have been doing a lot of clothes shopping, and I guess that’s true, but I’m telling you, these second-hand joints are so fucking cheap! My latest lot was all wins: two button down shirts, two blouses, and a blazer for $42!! And all the goods except the blazer are Banana Republic and in excellent condition! Not that you care, but hell, you know I like to crunch the numbers: in total, I have spent $105 with Schoola for 11 items that panned out for me and 2 that panned out for my friend M! Yeah, the free shipping takes 2-3 weeks but it’s worth the wait. And I guess I could always fork over a few extra bucks to upgrade shipping. 🙂

Lessons from Kids

Today, I was up in Livermore hanging out with my friend S and her girls at Camp Wonder. I saw some familiar faces from last year, but overall, S’s group was noticeably more chill than her groups from previous years. Perhaps it was the older ages (9+)? Or simply different personalities? I don’t interact with kids enough to really know. Regardless, I was thrilled to see several of the kids playing with my headband and bracelet-making kits, even proudly wearing their creations afterwards. Those kits, man. Can the instructions be any more confusing? For reals.

It was great to catch up with S. She’s had an extremely difficult year, getting kicked off her insurance and then having to go off her meds. Compared to last year, her arms and legs were covered in scales, and she said the chronic pain got really bad the last several months. It was so upsetting hearing her describe firsthand our broken healthcare system: Medi-cal refused to cover the meds she needed: to make matters worse, the program administrators insisted that she go through various courses of cheaper meds first– meds that she’d already tried in the past and that had proven ineffective (some with extremely damaging chemotherapy side effects)– before giving her the known working meds. So despite her extensive medical records and documentation, with physicians already having tried the cheaper drugs, the program made her jump through the hoops all over again! And during this time, of course her condition and pain escalated. Argh, so incredibly frustrating that she was forced to endure even though a helpful treatment had already been identified!! WTF?!?!

I was really glad to visit my friend and her girls, but on the drive home, I felt really sad. Seeing all the kids with such severe, disfiguring, and debilitating skin diseases… It reminded me of all the pain and shame and embarrassment I had felt when I had severe cystic acne. And no matter how badly I had it back then, my case was just superficial shit. These kids’ diseases are on an entirely different level. Some of them have skin so sensitive, it has to be bandaged and dressed multiple times a day– their arms and legs completely wrapped and covered. The skin that is exposed– it’s splotchy, lesioned, and discolored. Some have lost their hair. And as if that weren’t enough, they are in chronic pain, with arthritis and blisters and organ issues. Some kids don’t have fingernails much less fingers. It brings tears to my eyes thinking about how much they suffer. And they are just kids. How do they still find joy in each and every day? How do they find the strength to laugh and play and smile through the overwhelming discomfort and pain? And then I think about the families who provide for these precious little hearts. Honestly, where do they find the courage and stamina?

I am reminded again today of my many blessings. And I’m grateful for the kind souls behind Camp Wonder and the Childrens’ Skin Disease Foundation (created by a fellow Dukie, btw!). I am humbled by their purpose and commitment. And the kids… I am inspired by their sweet smiles.

Channeling Anger

Last week, I met up with M, the lady who replaced me at the university. I headed out to Los Gatos to check out her big side hustle operation spiffing up free/old/beat-up furniture and then reselling it. Yes, I am drawn to scrappy people! Her house is super charming, filled with many of these treasures. It was a damn hot day, but that didn’t stop us from first venturing out on a hike. I’m super out of shape, so I barely kept up between the trail elevation changes and the fricking high heat. Of course, I’m sure it didn’t help that my blood was boiling during our walk since we gossiped about our former workplace. By the end of the hike, I was physically exhausted but emotionally agitated. The rest of our visit was nice though. We hung out in the shade, drank wine, and ate snacks. She showed me her elaborate workshop and supplies.

Still, when I got home, I just couldn’t shake my annoyance about my former employer. Trying to find a way to channel my anger, I hopped onto Glassdoor. And I drafted an entire review. But before posting, I just kept hearing John’s voice: “Why are you dwelling on the past? It’s time to move on. You need to focus your energy on what’s ahead.” I paused. Then I did some research. Unsurprisingly, the consensus from job experts pretty much aligns with John’s stance: shut up and move on. The primary reasoning behind that advice seems to be that you don’t want to stir the muck and create trouble for yourself, like you don’t want to be blacklisted or whatever. You left that toxic place for you. If other people don’t leave, it’s not that bad for them, and why should you be their advocate?

To be honest, I feel like it’s such shitty advice to tell people who know something and who could share the real scoop about a workplace, to just be quiet and pretend everything was fine. Isn’t that partly how all the violence and harassment and abuse in this world just keeps happening unfettered? People see something and know something and yet, they remain silent. I mean, sure, we’re talking a different level of severity but still. There are parallels.

And you know me: I like to consider expert advice. Ultimately, I make my own decision, but I don’t make it in a vacuum. On one forum, a commenter basically asked someone else who was considering writing a negative employer review, “What are you wanting to get out of your public review?” Good question. And now I don’t even remember his reply. But for me, I have always valued the truth. It’s some kind of compass that’s just deeply ingrained in my person. Like when people pose questions about infidelity or whatever. “What you don’t know won’t kill you,” or whatever bullshit people say. Well, I don’t want to continue in blissful, pain-free ignorance… at least not when it comes to the most important relationship in my life. I WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH, however damaging and heartbreaking. Even if the indiscretion were short-lived or over or whatever. I want to know, and I will choose the truth every. damn. time. Otherwise, I’m just stupidly living in a foolish fantasy. So tying it back together: I guess I feel a similar stance with these asshole employers. Like, hey you’re not going to behave like jackasses and not get called out on it. Maybe I struggle with this notion that bad people are “getting away” with things. Sure, I might feel differently in cases where my personal safety or the safety of my family is in real danger, but with an employer, is it really THAT bad to burn the bridge? Why do I feel so strongly one way and most other people feel strongly the complete opposite way?

Then I researched how Glassdoor handles negative reviews… there were a ton of claims that people’s negative reviews got removed or shoved to the bottom or manipulated in some other way to have less of an impact. WTF? Is every fucking thing in this world rigged??? In the end, I saved a copy of my review and just closed everything down. Enough negativity for the day. I mean, in the past, there have certainly been plenty of times when I DID speak out and say something and in the end, not a damn thing happened. Just like with my exit interview at the public agency. Just like my exit interview at the university. Both instances of inaction suggest that it’s not that people (at least internally) don’t know the truth, it’s that they don’t give enough of a shit to do anything about it. So then, which is worse? That said, there are still the prospective employees. I use Glassdoor when researching companies, and has it swayed my decisions before? Yes.

Anyway, in other news, Bubbey’s back pain has been getting progressively worse. I am both annoyed and frustrated that at 40, he is having these kinds of debilitating issues. That said, annoyance and frustration doesn’t serve anybody, so I’ve decided to focus on measures to lessen his discomfort. For the last year, Bubbey has been talking about those new foam mattresses that are recommended by his podcasters, so after I finally realized this purchase would be different from his usual impulsive buys, we ordered the Casper. The mattress arrived and we set it on our “arrangement.” You see, since moving back Stateside in 2006, we’ve always put our mattress on top of a grid of big Rubbermaid storage bins. In the beginning, it was due to space constraints: we didn’t have storage, so we put our crap in the bins and then did a double duty, using them to also support the bed. But then I was reading about how the foundation for the mattress is just as important as the mattress itself. Probably just a sales ploy, but at this point, his back pain is so bad, we just need to pull out all the stops. So I ordered a slatted frame. And last night, I went through the bins. Most were empty but I did uncover my high school prom dress (a tight squeeze but it still fits– then again, I wore shit looser when I was younger) and my red wedding dress (Fucking A, it no longer fits in the bust… really?!?!). I was thinking to get rid of both, but Bubs says I should keep the wedding dress. Back to the mattress. I don’t know that I feel a difference between the frame and the tubs as the foundation, but we’ve had the new mattress a few weeks longer. Even though I’ve been getting to bed super late, after I fall asleep, I do think I am sleeping more soundly. We’ll continue to evaluate the product. Maybe quality sleep will help me better manage my negativity.