Category Archives: Health

The 4 Fs

Welcome to middle age. At the end of January (Chinese New Year), our friends invited us to the Four Seasons for a fancy lunch buffet. It was a great experience until I got home and my tummy started feeling really uncomfortable. I thought maybe I got food poisoning from the charcuterie board or poached eggs? The abdominal pain got increasingly worse, and that afternoon, I found myself writhing around on the bed for the rest of the day.

Jesus, how much did I fucking consume? I chalked it up to a combo of overindulging and possible food poisoning. A week later, my tummy was still feeling mild discomfort– then again, I was eating fried eggrolls and veggie pizza, you know, practicing my usual eat whatever-the-fuck-I-want strategy. At my open house on Sunday afternoon, the pain was excruciating. I had to sit down; I was feeling tons of pressure on my upper abdomen, like right under my chest. It was a fullness sensation in a place I had never experienced before and the cramping was through the roof and starting to cause back pain. After the open house, I could barely pick up my signs and drive my damn self home, as I was curled over. Another night in discomfort and then I was fine again.

The following week, I went to see the doctor– she wasn’t my usual physician, just the next available. She listened to my food list from the past week and determined that I had GERD. WTF is that? Gastro esophageal reflux yada, yada, brought on by a high-acid diet. Huh? She sent me off with pepcid and a random list of foods that needed to come off my plate: tomatoes, pasta sauce, citrus, tea, wine, chocolate… what the hell? Oh and ALSO, the list said that I shouldn’t wear tight-waisted pants. Who is writing up this shit? I am the queen of stuffing the sausage! That’s my daily m.o. for getting dressed! Plus, what a weird diet. It’s like the anti-purine diet where it’s just a random mash of tasty foods!?!?

As soon as I got home, John expressed his doubts (he’s such an Eshleman with their distrust of the medical community). It’s not heartburn, he insisted, bc that shit burns near your throat. I dunno what to tell you, bro. I explained to the doctor that I didn’t feel a burning sensation. I told her the pain was level 8/10, located above my belly button and below my sternum. She said GERD is very common. Ok, fine.

So I started taking the pepcid before meals. I only slightly modified (not really) my intake of trigger foods. Everything seemed fine again. A few weeks later, it’s John’s bday. We go out for breakfast and I get eggs benedict. I ate it all (clean plate club), and it was just a regular portion. Afterwards, that full/bloated feeling returned. We went for a walk and continued about our day. I made dinner plans at an Italian place and by then, my appetite was totally gone, so I picked around at the Caesar salad. By the time we got to the comedy show, I was feeling super uncomfortable. I took a couple of Gas X and as the show progressed, things got worse and worse. Finally, I went to the bathroom. I was in there forever, feeling nauseous, fevery, and dizzy. I passed a BM and then proceeded to puke in the sink. Ugh. Then, I had to clean out the sink, bc nothing was going through the drain. Finally, I make it out of the bathroom and then we leave. The rest of the night, something just doesn’t feel right. I call the nurse advice line and book an appointment with my primary care for the next day.

The next day, at my appointment, she suspects either dyspepsia, pancreatitis, or gallstones. She kinda says let’s do blood work and an ultrasound to rule out stones. The next day, I go in for the ultrasound and while on the bed, the specialist asks if I’m sure I fasted beforehand and didn’t have anything to eat or drink. Shit woman, I’m a rule follower. I had nothing. Why do you ask? Then she backtracks and says she’s just asking. Uh huh.

A few seconds later, she says my gall bladder looks constricted like it does after you eat. Oh hell no, that’s not good. Afterwards, I’m starving from having fasted for like 10 hrs, so I treat myself to my favorite veggie sandwich at Specialty’s. It was delicious: cheese, sprouts, mustard, ranch, lettuce, tomato, avocado on herb bread. As soon as I swallow that last savory morsel, the doctor calls. Gallstones. Recommended action? Appointment with the surgeon to discuss removal of the gallbladder. Hold up, WHAT???? I’ve never had surgery in my life. How many stones and how big? Don’t know.

At that moment, I found myself immediately reacting like an Eshleman. For sure, there’s been some mistake. The ultrasound person didn’t even give a quantity or size. I just ate a monster sandwich and I’m fine. Surely, this is just a fluke. Yup, I went into full blown denial.

Two days later, I do a video appointment with the surgeon. I ask about quantity and size, and he says people always ask that and the truth is, it doesn’t matter. Once you have the gallstone attacks, you pretty much should get the organ removed. But since I insist on proof, he pulls up the scan and points to MULTIPLE stones. Fuck.

Mind you, I realize that there is probably no easier procedure than this: it’s laparoscopic, takes 1-2 hrs, and it’s same day surgery. In and out. Still, I’m like worried about the FOUR incisions, tools/instruments getting left inside my body, infection afterwards… Here’s the thing. Don’t be fooled by me being “skinny.” I’ve had a LOT of problems, including H1N1, walking pneumonia, shingles, plus the vasovagal fainting spells… if something’s gonna go wrong, I’m kinda the poster child.

So what does the doc say? Well, you can try limiting your diet to low-fat, but just know that with gallstone attacks, good fats and bad fats are all bad. So like avocados? They are considered good fats, but in the case of gallstones, bad. Sensing my reluctance, he explained that gallstones are a common issue. The typical patient is what they call the 4Fs: female, forty, fat, and fertile. Oh my.

Then he acknowledges the non-PC nature of the 4Fs and tries to reassure me: if he had a lineup of patients who needed the surgery, he would pick me bc I’m lowest risk. And since I’m not overweight, he expects that he’ll have good visibility of the organs and ducts once he’s inside. Hmm, flattery is a helpful tactic.

I told him I’d think about it and let him know. John kept harassing me about my denial and reluctance. Who’s behaving like an Eshleman now? Step aside, dude. The next day, I scheduled the procedure for April 6. I’m still not keen on the four incisions. I mean, it’s not like I have a six pack or bikini bod of any kind… in fact, I have a muffin top for sure. Still, I don’t like the idea of tools poking around my belly.

As it turns out, since my appointment, this coronavirus situation has REALLY hit the fan so that may buy me some more time before the surgery. As it is, I have reduced my volume at mealtime and avoided eggs… so far so good. I mean, for sure: every meal is still a gamble, but so far, I’m feeling ok. Yeah, I might still be looking for my out at this point. Shrug. Turns out I’m a closet recalcitrant patient after all!

Chin Up

It’s been another long while and another long slog. I’ve been quiet on the blog lately, bc I joined a new coaching program in November and was spending a lot of energy ramping that up. I was hopeful and excited for a new wave of learning— skills, strategies, and mastery… but three months later, it’s been a rocky road. I know, story of my life and story of working in this industry.

The coaching program focuses a lot on lead generation through direct response marketing which involves print as well as internet ads. Initially, things were amazing. I was getting lots of leads and making calls several times a day. I was having conversations with people about real estate! The path of course is to call the leads, set appointments from the calls, and then convert the prospects at the appointments into clients. So yeah, many steps even before they sign on to work with me.

But I was actually reaching people on the phone and to my surprise, I got meetings booked! Then, people began to flake. Or they’d want to buy mobile homes…

One lady signed on with me and was so pleasant to work with. I busted my ass working with her for three weeks, and I was so thrilled to get her into contract. Yeah, we beat out 14 other offers and then she couldn’t deliver the damn deposit. And as all of this unraveled, I put two and two together, ultimately coming to the realization that she was being scammed. Yes, no joke, she was a victim of elder financial fraud where someone had convinced her that she had inherited some insane amount of money from overseas. I had to involve the legal team, my managing broker, the contracts guy… EVERYone wanted to know what was going on and what was to happen next. I swear, it was like I was in a real estate soap opera, if there were such a thing. I wanted to get the FBI involved, but bc of my fiduciary role, I could not report anything without her permission. Meanwhile, she insisted that her funds were legit AND that she knew where her money came from. I mean, I won’t go into all the details but none of this was a straight line. She was battling walking pneumonia the whole time, I was having to drive to doctors’ offices and the hospital to meet her to discuss the next steps in the transaction, and she would go dark hours at a time being totally unreachable. It’s over now, but I lost three weeks of my life and the extreme stress of uncovering something so predatory and sinister and having my hands tied (she refused to acknowledge she was a victim) triggered extreme abdominal pains. Not to mention the mental anguish of being the poster child of shit going wrong in a real estate transaction…

Around the same time, I also found out that the couple that had dumped me before Thanksgiving closed on an expensive home that paid 3% buyer side commission. Fuckers. They kept insisting their budget was $1.5m max and they didn’t want to be “too burdened” by a high mortgage, yada, yada. They bought at $1.7m. I still get so roiled up about it. I wasted three months covering an insane area and then they finally decided to be decisive and buy after 2 weeks with a new agent.

Needless to say, another shit start to a new year. Is it even surprising that I got diagnosed with GERD for the first time in my life (the pain was so intense, I thought I had stones), and I had a meltdown at the office yesterday?

Despite the numerous setbacks, I know I am mentally strong. I still believe I’m a careful and thorough agent. I still believe my values of advocacy, education, and care benefit the people I serve. It’s freaking disheartening and demoralizing trudging through all the sludge just to get to the sweet spot. People say to remember all of the good things in your life. I do and I am so grateful for the blessing that I have. But they almost make me feel unworthy. I just want to be successful. I just want to be a winner. I know these things require work. And I’m willing to do things that are not easy. I’m willing to put myself out there. I’m willing to face rejection and rude, disrespectful people every day. And yet, I am stuck.

All activity, no results. It’s frustrating and it’s painful. But I cannot wallow in the disappointment. Bc I know no matter my level of despair, millions of people are out there fighting bigger battles without the resources, support, and privileges that I have. So I don’t want to complain, and I don’t want to dwell in self-pity. Life moves on.

My next steps are to keep plugging away at the activities and use them as a way to improve my skills. I am also reaching out to more experienced agents to seek their insights and to see if I can establish new partnerships and exchanges.

Oh man, I had a buyer appointment scheduled for today at 12:30 pm. A Taiwanese lady was referred to me by another agent who does not speak Mandarin. The prospect lost her keys, so now the appointment is canceled. What can you do but try to reschedule and move on to the next challenge. Shrug. I really cannot make this shit up.

Year of the Pig

Well it’s been ages since I wrote a post– I’m starting anew now following the lunar calendar just as the Year of the Pig is getting underway.

A lot has happened. Where to begin. Let’s see. Bentley has really turned a corner. We adopted him back in January 2018, so at the start of 2019, he was coming due on several of his vaccinations. Given his track record of going ballistic in a veterinary setting, I decided to try the vaccination clinic option instead. Several of the area pet stores offer vaccination days where vets come into the store and administer meds at discounted rates. I decided to go during a Sunday NFL playoff game (smaller crowds) and I also gave Bentley several Treatible brand hemp treats. The last time I was in Pet Food Express, the lady behind the counter recommended these pricey snacks. I was very skeptical, but she insisted that her dog was previously terrified and aggressive with the groomers, and after consuming these snacks, her pooch was a total angel. Yes, that’s some kind of drugs at work, right? Well, I was desperate, so I forked over the $20. What do you fucking know? I gave him three biscuits, headed over and left him in the car so I could scout out the store first. The line was not bad, but there were definitely several dogs in the store. I decided to take the chance. Sometimes, Bentley can get worked up on seeing other doggies, but other times, he can’t even be bothered. We entered the shop, and he walked around the store totally chill. Like, other dogs were barking and lunging towards him, getting all worked up, but Bentley just trotted calmly down the aisles. I’m telling you: game. changer.

When I checked in with the tech, I gave her the back story. She was totally unfazed. I mean, I know they are pros, but seriously, she was not the least bit worried. When it came our turn, we went behind the warehouse double doors and I suggested we have a female vet tend to him. Bentley did so well. As they got closer, I held him in a brace. He started to get nervous and began to growl but no muzzle and no thrashing and no barking like in the past. They gave two shots, and we were done. It was amazing, and I was so relieved. I hadn’t realized how much I had been procrastinating and dreading getting his vaccinations. But shit man, now I swear by those damn Treatibles.

Another month later, he was running out of his heartworm meds… I thought my vet would just renew the script. Nope, the vet office insisted that he come in for an exam. Ugh. Not again. Well, it had to be done, so I requested a female vet (Sadly, no more handsome Dr. C– he was Remy and Marty’s doctor) and did the Treatibles routine again. They also gave us the biggest exam room possible in case if his aggression was triggered claustrophobia. I know, how special needs are we?

They didn’t try for the butt thermometer, and all else went well. He let me fidget with his ear so they could look inside; I pulled back his lips to expose his pearly whites, and with me holding him in the front and John touching him in his hindquarters, the doctor was able to hop in there and test his joints and movement. A clean bill of health! Hurray. And he has actually trimmed down from 72 to 64 lbs. since we got him. Bc shepherds are super prone to hip dysplasia, I keep him really lean. But the vet said to just continue what we were doing, bc he looked really good and happy to her. Yay! She did also ask how much we were exercising him… We said just 2-3 20-min walks a day, and she said GSDs are highly active and highly intelligent: they need stimulation. So I guess that means we will walk him more. We kinda like him being a couch potato though.

Work-wise, business is busy. I was in Los Angeles last month for a realtor training. It was eye-opening and super helpful. More than anything, I have come to realize that I was giving weak signals. In other words, I wasn’t as feeling confident and that came across when I talked to people. So I need to focus more on the unspoken vibes and keep that mental toughness strong. Honestly, I wasted way too much time and energy on self-doubt. Seriously. I gotta think of it this way: Would I hire myself for something important? Well yes. Yes I would. Enough said.

Aside from the mental resilience, I am also doing many of the activities to continue building my skills and mastery. Every week, I’m previewing a ton of homes. I’m still making calls, writing notes, checking in. I’m still hosting open houses. I’m feeling stronger, learning tons, and noticing my growing confidence.

I also joined a membership women’s networking group. Yes, lots of lunches and meetups (with all the accompanying awkwardity…), but it’s good for me. I’ve actually met a bunch of new people I wouldn’t normally encounter. I’m already partnering with one to co-host an upcoming real estate and investing basics workshop in April. Yes, my brain is full of new initiatives and ideas for my biz. It’s overwhelming but also exciting. I’m feeling a new wave of motivation to get shit done.

What else. Family is well, the same. My parents are overwhelmed by busyness and not making important decisions for their future. My brother continues to proselytize his quack supplement shit. My aunt in Taiwan got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last month. Yeah, when it rains, it pours.

I am feeling frustrated by my parents’ inaction, indecision, and paralysis. I keep researching ideas and options that don’t get reviewed much less implemented. Yeah, I’m def a grab the bull by the horns kinda gal. Stagnation drives me nuts. But there is only so much I can do.

So I turn my attention to myself bc I’m the only thing I can control. On that front, I’ve put on weight. The pants are too fucking tight. I’m like busting off the damn buttons and hooks. The insomnia too is taking its toll… I’m feeling growing rage again inside when it comes to family matters. I’m hoping that picking back up on this blog will help me sort through the mental clutter and settle my mind a bit. We’ll see. I also ordered a set of resistence bands to start re-engaging my muscles. And I’m hoping to restart weekly rollerblading nights with my friend T. Time to step things up again…

Time Warp

Some days, I really feel like I’m in some bizarre time warp. Not so much like I’m traveling back or forward in time, but I just feel super disoriented. I mean sure, we got back from a very exhausting overseas trip. Technically, that was already last month. And I did pick up an eye issue which screwed up my vision and in turn, my balance. And of course, last Sunday was daylight savings. Yes, all those things are true, and YET it still seems like I should have more energy for a 40-something at this point in the game.

At home, it was great to be back in our own bed. And in the company of sweet Bentley. We had guests over for lunch last Saturday, so I cleaned the house like a fricking maniac– removing the couch covers, removing the slip rugs, mopping, cleaning the windows, wiping all the surfaces, replanting things in the yard, etc. Everything. It was one of the biggest cleaning jobs I’ve done in a long while. And shit, the Houseboat looked good.

But despite my manic cleaning mode, my sleep is all back to being messed up again. In my multiple trips to the doctor, I also complained to my primary physician that the spironolactone, which I had started before Taiwan, was doing nil to improve my skin. So she had me do some tests and double the dose. Next thing I know, I’m feeling restless at night, getting strange numbness with my appendages, etc. I dunno. It just feels like too much is going on. And YET I realize we have no kids, and we’re both on “flexible” work schedules so… is this a real problem?

Ugh. Overthinking it all again. I reached out to my doc again following a few days on the double dose. She advised me to stick with the program. On a second follow up with the eye doc, she told me to continue with the gel tears and nighttime ointment. Still no contact lenses for me. I’m getting better with the glasses, but damn, they still give me a freaking headache. I know, I’m all banged up and broken, apparently.

The good news is, after another a week on the higher spiro dose, I am finally seeing some improvement in my skin. Next week I’ll get a follow up blood test and hopefully, things will continue to improve from there. This Saturday, my eye doc says I can try wearing my contact lenses, but I have to be super careful about keeping the wear time brief and if there’s any stinging or burning, back to the antibiotics. Ugh. Fingers crossed for judgement day this Saturday.

Meanwhile, work is slow-going. I’ve been making calls again… that’s always hit or miss, and I dunno: when it’s a miss, I sometimes let it fuck with my mindset. In the last year, I’ve had a few unfortunate incidents with people… I replay that shit over and over again in my head. At the end of the day, what can I say: the mismatch and personality clash is real. I try to keep my chin up and adopt these as important learning moments… I have definitely used them as building blocks and have modified the way I react in challenging situations moving forward (yes, there continue to be occasional challenges) but man, that shit is hard for me. In some ways, they remind me of all the issues I had growing up and communicating with my parents… With some personalities, you end up in circles arguing mostly about who’s right and wrong.

Turns out, the “adult” way of dealing with all this is to first and foremost, remain calm. Second, don’t take it personally even if the client becomes accusatory and disrespectful. My sensitivity to it all stems largely from being bullied as a child and teen, plus I really don’t like letting people “get away” with shit behavior. But sometimes, the best approach really is to not waste any more time on people who insist on behaving immaturely. Having been on both sides of that coin in my life, I understand the efficiency of cutting bait and moving on. I’m getting better at identifying situations where it applies. Ok, well obviously, my mind is still somewhat muddled. I’ll aim for more clarity tomorrow.

Half Blind

OMG, I forgot to tell you. So as you know, I travel to Taiwan on the regular, meaning yearly. And invariably, I get sick every time I get back Stateside. I mean, I suppose it’s no surprise really, bc there have been numerous instances where clearly, my body demonstrates an especially poor constitution. My body is known around these circles for abruptly crashing into flames. Needless to say, this time was no different, though I did feel like we were even more on the move than usual (if that is even possible). Maybe too, it was the exposure to my sick mom (she had the flu) or the many trips to the hospital or being stuck on a plane for 12-14 hrs with germy people.

Anyway, while I was in Taiwan, I noticed my eyes feeling strained. I figured it was just the long hours in my contacts, fatigue, whatever. So after I got home, that night, my left eye was like twitching kinda crazy. I just chocked it up to the gross recycled air on the flight back. The next morning, I woke up and ok now the vision in my left eye was clearly cloudy. This imbalance of clarity had actually been going on for days, but this particular morning, I realized that I couldn’t pin it to dry or dirty contacts. It felt like something was in my eye, but I rolled my eyeball around and nothing was in there. I was supposed to attend a real estate conference and meet up with my coach, so I popped in my contacts and decided to proceed. But the blurry vision was really throwing me off. I imagine it’s similar to if you have ear pain– it just fucks up your balance and orientation. And my left eye started watering and stinging. I took out the contact again. WTF is happening? John told me to go to the doctor.

Thank goodness for the nurse advice line, bc hell, I use that service all the damn time to determine if an office visit is really necessary. Well, in this case, they wanted me to come in. Like today. Now, I was getting worried. Per usual, Bubs was back behind the wheel shuttling around Miss Daisy. I swear, he’s already done it a bunch of times– that beeline to Kaiser.

So they dilate my eyes and then begin a series of tests. Puffs of air, reading texts, bright lights, flipping the eyelid. The verdict? One of three possibilities. Best case? Corneal inflammation caused by dryness and irritation from poor eye care. Admittedly, when I travel, I leave the contacts in for the long haul flight. The thing is, when I wear glasses, they give me a headache after ten minutes and plus, I like to see to read signs and watch movies and do shit on the plane. Second case is an eye infection, which can be a real problem for lens wearers. Third possibilities is a parasitic amoeba. OMFG. In cases 2 and 3, permanent eye damage can happen FAST. Great.

Cutting to the chase now, I’ve been on antibiotic eye drops and ointment since last Friday. On Sunday, shit felt worse and I was a little worried bc the cloudiness was not subsiding. The nurse line told me the eye was adjusting to the meds. Stay the course. On Monday, I finally noticed some improvement. I had a check up on Tuesday. No scarring or permanent damage, so it looks like I was just Case 1. Thank the lord, baby Jesus! One of these days, I’m going to outrun this lucky streak.

My vision was totally back as of yesterday. I am wearing my glasses, so putting up with headaches, but it’s fine. I’m just glad to have my vision back. I mean, you know me: I was already planning out how to get ahold of a guide dog!

In other health news, the spironolactone for my acne isn’t doing squat. Yeah, in the last week, I’ve gone to the hospital three times. My doc wanted a bp check and blood work before upping my dose. Everything checked out ok, so fingers crossed this shit is going to work some magic. Incidentally, the spiro path was triggered (and I’m sure the docs are gonna love this) by a hair blogger I follow, who had really bad cystic acne. Her final solution after trying EVERYTHING, was new skin products, supplements, and 200 mg of spiro. My doc is only keen on upping me to 50 mg, so I just hope that’s enough. I’m sure it’s super annoying to have your patients come in and self-diagnose. I try to be as respectful and pleasant to my docs as possible. I’m not insisting on anything, just sharing what I read and asking how they think I should proceed. Fortunately, my primary care is amenable. Blood/BP check in two weeks to make sure body is handling it ok. After all, you never know with this body of mine!

Crash Boom Bang

There’s a first time for everything. After a long and busy day at my open house in Santa Clara, I came home to a lovely meal of lamb chops. The dinner was just what I needed– flavorful and cooked to perfection.

In the middle of the night, I awoke with a gurgling belly. I went to the bathroom thinking something must not be sitting right in my stomach. I felt severe stomach cramping and then I was lightheaded and kinda sweaty. I decided a glass of water would help. The last thing I remember is stepping out of the bathroom. The very next memory is waking up with my face on the floor and my right hand hurting very badly. Yup, crash, boom, bang and just like that I had fainted and collapsed in the hallway. John, who typically sleeps through EVERYTHING, thankfully heard the commotion and found me face down in a pool of blood in the hallway. Meanwhile, Bentley? Totally clueless. Thanks for saving the day, Lassie.

John got me up, I went to the bathroom, and then I immediately felt better. My chin got busted open and it looked like what you would imagine the ground to do after an earthquake. Just a huge crack. We applied some pressure to my face. Meanwhile, my right hand was throbbing, my right shoulder was sore, and my right eye was feeling bruised. I have no earthly clue how the heck I fell in the hall. There are no chairs or stools or anything and somehow I managed to bust up the most random parts of my body. John determined we would need stitches for my face– I mean, it was like an inch-long crack. He called the advice nurse and they recommended we go to the ER bc I had been unconscious.

So about 3am, we’re off to the ER. I tell the story to the staff: had dinner, woke up in the middle of the night with a tummy ache, went to get a glass of water, and collapsed. Uh huh. The doc decided to run a shit ton of tests: xray for my hand, blood work, EKG, CT scan… we were getting worried. I mean, seriously. What kind of 40-something gets a tummy ache and loses consciousness? Makes no sense.

Thankfully, the docs at Kaiser are amazing. I mean, I know people like to knock HMOs, but I have always had a great experiences with KP. Efficient, competent, good bedside manner. Tests all came back normal. The doc stitched up my face. I was being a total vain beotch, asking if she should use superglue instead of stitches… she assured me stitches were the way to go. I walked out of the ER around 6 AM. And I still wanted to host my Sunday afternoon open house. I know, I’m fricking crazy. But with all the bruising setting in, J made me call it off. It was ridiculous too explaining to the list agent and loan officer what had happened. What a bizarre story.

A few days later, I hit up my primary care physician. This lady is a kindred spirit. Every illness i have had, she has ALSO had. I think we’re about the same age too. So many times, I was convinced something was wrong with me or my immune system and every single time, she looked at my test results and reassured me that I was just tired or rundown and got exposed to the germs. I mean, if you don’t believe me: I have had shingles, H1N1, walking pneumonia, the cold/flu for 2 months, and now this. WTF, right? Well she reviewed all the tests. Her answer? This has happened to her. It’s called vasovagal syncope. Basically, when the organs start cramping, the body thinks something is going down. Either it responds with the flight/fight adrenaline rush or it shuts down by immediately lowering the blood pressure. Apparently, when I felt dizzy and lightheaded, I should have just gotten down. Instead, I tried to be a busy-ass body and go to the kitchen to get some water. Blood pressure dropped and I knocked out. And on the way down, I got busted up. So the good news is that everything is normal. The stitches came out a week later and now I’m putting pricey scar cream on this shit twice a day. I’m so vain. Thankfully, it’s right at my jawline and not super visible. As for my black eye, I gotta give a shout out to the power of makeup. People had no idea about my yellow/blue bruising and soreness. They only saw the stitches– the hairs on my chin as I called them. Now things are back to normal and I’m back in the grind. The final lesson? Feeling sick/nauseous/crampy? Get the f down!!

Sickness Prone

Oh shit, I forgot to tell you that the household had a recent bout with norovirus. Well, I don’t know if that’s a medically accurate statement, but let’s just say, last month, Bubbey had many days of upset tummy and sick poopies. Yes, that’s the technical term. This went on for days and then he flew back East to do his mom’s taxes. I went about my merry way until a day later, I got the runs! I mean, I had multiple delicious meals in a row– and no one at work seemed to suffer any negative impact. But goddammit, I had to cancel an open house and then I was holed up in bed for 2-3 days. At the time, I had Buster over too, and the dogs were like WTF is happening? This person is the lamest, laziest person ever!!! And of course, as my track record would attest, every damn time I felt a little bit better, I would push it too far and fall back into a nauseous mess. This went on for like an entire week. I’m telling you. My dad was calling on the daily trying to get a medical update, like fever stats, stool description, meds, everything. Jesus, dad. I’m gonna just ride it out. I’m not taking fucking notes for you on this.

Eventually, it seems my Achilles heel was my impatience (big surprise). I mean, as soon as I felt any tiny bit of normalcy, I went back to eating shit: dairy, cheese, spicy… yeah, I didn’t follow the BRAT diet. at all. I mean, in my defense, some sites did say the BRAT was too strict, but yes, I agree. Surely, that didn’t mean I should eat a bag of potato chips and down it with ice cream and soda. What can I say, it was many moments of weakness, and I was famished. Desperate times, desperate measures.

Around the same time, when I checked in with Bubs in Maryland, his mom ALSO got nauseous and sick! Was it something about Bubbey and his food prep/handling methods? I don’t want to be accusatory bc after all, he is literally the hand that cooks all my meals and feeds me, but…. I’m just saying. I suppose anecdotally, something did seem to be going around nationwide, no?

I’m just glad that the worst is over. I’ve been food-poisoning free for the last week, and life is good. Now if only I could be well the majority of my days in 2018, that would be freaking fabulous. Is that really so much to fucking ask?

Btw, dealio updates. I’m replacing those wonky JLab bluetooth earbuds with the Apple Airpods. John kept telling me Apple shit doesn’t go on sale and the pricing is all the same everywhere, so I bought them from the Apple store. Then what happens? A few days later, I’m scrolling through my Slickdeals phone app (yes, they have one!) and whadya know? $20 cheaper through Costco. Fucker! I’m telling you, can’t trust anything that boy says, esp when it comes to pricing. Thanks to my credit card extended warranty, I’m going to get reimbursed for the broken earbuds, so I’ll be getting these babies for a discount. I really didn’t think the wired earbuds would bother me much, but turns out, that shit does get tangled A LOT, esp when I’m fumbling with them in the car. And considering how often I am now on the phone, I’m going to give this new technology a try and see if it changes my life.

In other news, now that I am out of the sickness woods, I am turning my attention back to personal care. My skin has been doing great lately. I trimmed back the k-beauty regimen and I’m really trying to get more sleep… so far, so good. That said, I was disappointed to realize I still have a ways to go in terms of being more polished and presentable in public. Turns out, I am guilty of nearly ALL the “mistakes” that make a person look messy. Sure, I have decent self awareness, so I had a hunch it was bad. Just didn’t realize it was like 17/20 bad. Sigh. Work in progress.

The Feet Tell It All

So I treated myself to a pedicure today. I haven’t gotten one in a salon in probably a year. It’s one of those things, like getting my hair cut: whenever I think to do it, it’s in the middle of the night and the salons are closed. When the places are open, I don’t have a reservation and can’t be bothered to wait. I know, I’m that self important, right?

My job entails a lot of taking my shoes on and off, entering staged homes, decrepit homes, and everything in between. I really try to keep my toes somewhat presentable but some days, it’s just all about good enough. That means, yes, oftentimes I just repaint over my existing polish. So today the nail tech is like removing the old polish, and she’s uncovering multiple layers of old polish beneath bc they are all different colors… SMH. I know, it’s embarrassing. Hey though, be glad I’m not using Sharpie markers like I did before.

I started my session ordering the basic pedi. But bc I wear shoes without socks, my heels are literally rough and scratchy with flaking skin. I know, pretty darn nasty. The lady suggested callous removal. Her comment didn’t shame me or anything, but I quickly agreed to upgrade to a spa pedi. I mean, either she cleans me up or I gotta go home and put the foot filer gadget to that scratch pad, and at this point, just get ‘er done.

The thing is, my feet are like the canary in the coal mine. They are an indicator for something far worse. For example, in the last several months, my skin had continued on its rampage to hell, with humongous boils throbbing on my chin. That k-beauty stuff, as much as I had placed my faith into it, was not helping. I mean, yes, they softened the cheeks but it was fucking Mt. Fuji everywhere else on my face! I dunno what I was expecting: I had been eating a bunch of fried foods and frozen foods; I wasn’t getting any sleep; I was skipping meals left and right… I mean, I was basically neglecting and abusing my body (for MONTHS/years) and already, it wasn’t a strong system to start with…

After I went into contract on this latest real estate deal and the deposit went into escrow, my body finally crashed. I got a few days’ worth of sleep. And the damn boils finally started calming the fuck down. John and I have also recently started drinking a breakfast probiotic shake, something I’d read about via a fashion blogger I follow… it’s crazy but as soon as we started on the program, John’s has gone to the gym every damn day. And we seem to feel better. I even went back to the hot yoga studio, for the first time in probably two years. I mean, I dunno if probiotics get all the credit on that one. Like I always say, “nothing like an expiring Groupon to kick my ass into gear.” Haha.

In other news, Bentley seems to be settling in. I think the pheromone room plug-in that my friend suggested is helping him feel safe and more confident. He is also eating more regularly. Strangely enough, I don’t think he’ll ever be one of those dogs who scarfs down his food, (WTF?!?!?), but he is showing improvement. We are taking him on a road trip to Santa Barbara later this month before he has to get neutered. Fingers crossed that he’ll do ok going into a clinic environment again. Honestly, I’m a bit worried about it, and John has already suggested NOT getting him neutered at all but… this shit’s happening.

Sick As A Dog

Well, I have now been sick for over a month. Fucking A! It all started at the turn of the year. Picked up the flu when I went to the doctor for my wellness exam and flu shot. Learning from my past lessons, I did not delay and contacted the doctor as soon as the symptoms came on. Went on Tamiflu. Then, at week 3, still had a lingering cough and still fatigued super easily. Called the advice line. Doctor prescribed five days of Zithromax antibiotics. Another week later (week 4, if you’re still keeping count), STILL coughing (dry cough) and still tired as fuck. Add in stuffy nose and sneezing fits. Yesterday, I called the doctor again. She insists that her constitution is like mine: she gets sick a LOT and for a long time each incidence. She thinks the cough is lingering bc now with the hot weather (yes, it’s been high 70s– unseasonably warm), our allergies are getting triggered, which makes recovery from the flu/cold take longer, plus the throat/nose are irritated. Ugh. It really is a pain in the ass getting tired every few hours. I know, this damn Year of the Dog has got me sick as a dog.

Meanwhile, my Peruvian posse visited last Saturday and left yesterday morning: this time 3 adults and 2 kiddos (4 y/o and 1 y/o). Due to work, which has been picking up like a mofo, I mostly just saw them for breakfast and dinner. Still, it was a good visit. I’ve hung with P’s youngest sister several times but this was the first time meeting the eldest, on her inaugural trip to the USA. They are super duper whirlwind travelers: In 15 days, they are doing SF, Vegas, and Disney/LA. All by car. Makes me tired just thinking about it.

Btw, I’m happy to report that our tiny houseboat has a sustainable carrying capacity for five adults, two kids, and one polar bear. I think I’ve finally got the Houseboat on a system where stuff is clean and things are relatively organized. My office/guest room is looking pretty good. Last year, I got storage cabinets and drawers for my work files so the paperwork is organized (mostly); the CB2 Lubi lounger is working out well as an expandable guest bed; and the room is really bright and colorful. My latest addition is a purple rug that I picked up for free two doors down. Who knows what it was used for previously, but my neighbor is a retired realtor who has a beautiful home, so I’m going to assume it wasn’t a shit-encrusted rug.

John also rearranged his desk recently so now his office is way bigger. We were able to fit a monster air mattress in there for my friend P. The babies were incredibly good. I mean, the 1 y/o is super active and gets into EVERYTHING. His poor mother is exhausted! Our home is not kiddie-proofed at all, so suddenly, all my remotes and coasters and decorative pieces ended up high up on the fireplace mantle. But those kids. SMH. They left the house for SF touristy activities and were out ALL DAMN DAY, like 12 hours?!?!?! I mean, not to be judgey but how come some kids can only last 2 hours max? Is it the kids or the parents? I dunno. But again, all of this just re-enforced how happy I am to NOT to be a human parent.

That said, Bentley is having his quirks. I tried to switch him to 100% dry food and he went on a hunger strike for days. WTF. I mean, it’s like a test of the wills over here, and it’s not pretty. Bubs made me cave after two days so I threw in my Rover dog’s canned food that was left with us. Argh. Fine, now I’ve ordered some canned to mix to go with the dry. Fucking picky eater. I was wanting the all dry food diet to keep his teeth clean… guess I have to pick and choose my battles with this special needs dog.

Also, he is still exhibiting trust issues after I had to do the ear flushes. He’ll let me do it still (now only weekly instead of daily) but he still tries to run away and he whimpers about it. Big baby. Then there was an incident where the 4 y/o was petting him and then she was going to brush him. He lied down all submissive and then suddenly barked and growled at her. I’m telling you, that’s going to be my biggest stressor– his unpredictability. Sure, he’s only been with us four weeks. Still. I mean, he’s at a size where he can really hurt someone, so after that, I am being hyper vigilant.

I mean, from what I’ve read, with fear aggression (vs. territory or possession or dominance aggression), he will try first to run and hide. The barking is also a signal to leave him alone. With other forms of aggression, the dog is more dominant and confident and will attack/provoke but… still. I just feel like I can’t let my guard down. I have to watch for his body language and signals. Thankfully, the girl was hardly even phazed. I was so surprised that neither she nor her 1 y/o brother were intimidated by Bentley’s size.

I’ve been reading up on dog training. That shit sure has changed in the last 15 years. Maybe it’s similar to how much parenting has changed: it’s all about desensitization + positive reinforcement for troublesome scenarios. No more training where you rule through fear.

In a Haze

Every time I get sick, I feel like I’m in some kind of alien experience. I pretty much end up being confined to the bed for days on end and then when I finally get up and about, there’s brain fog or just this bizarre sensation like I’ve left the world for a long time. And when I finally start getting back to normalcy, it’s as if my body has forgotten what feeling healthy was like. It’s a very strange experience even though being out of sorts for a week is still a relatively short period of time. I really wonder what it’s like for people who are chronically ill, you know? To be in a shitty physical state perpetually? Ugh. It must really feel awful, not to mention socially isolating.

So I finished my 5-day treatment of Tamiflu on Saturday, and the fever and night sweats finally stopped, which I believe means I’m no longer contagious. Still, I have a lingering cough with crap deep down in there, so that’s kinda gross. What can I say, another bout with sickness, another toll on this weak body of mine. So much for starting the new year off strong.

Note to self for next time: don’t make wellness appointments in the middle of flu season. I know the flu shot I got that first week of January isn’t what made me sick, but surely, I was exposed to other strains when I was at the hospital. Incidentally, I talked to the doctor again about my propensity for illness, and she just brushed it off. Said that she herself gets sick a lot, and REALLY sick, but it has nothing to do with a weak/abnormal immune system. It’s more just exposure and poor hygiene practices? I dunno. I got my blood work checked recently and she swears it’s all fine. Ok. Guess I gotta trust.