OMFG, you would not believe the last 48 hours I have had. After a very long Saturday with the open house and following up, I even wrote a long blog post and all… Well, whatdya know. At almost 9pm, I received a text from one of few the couples whose contact info I did NOT collect. They had stopped by when the house was swarming with visitors so I didn’t get to gather their deets.

Anyway, the text said he was at the open house. He looked me up and saw that I was a fellow Dukie (first time Duke has actually hooked me up!). He wanted to see the disclosures. Would I be able to submit an offer if they wanted to bid on the house? Of course. We spoke briefly on the phone then later that night, back and forth on email about the strength of their package– what it takes to win in this market and esp in this neighborhood. I invited them to meet with me and my guru in the AM to discuss strategy. They had plans the next morning and also wanted to see a couple of other places Sunday on their own; maybe stop by my open house again in the afternoon. Ok.

I stayed up super late re-reading the disclosures and calculating pricing. By morning, they emailed saying they changed their plans and wanted to submit an offer. Bc I had moved offices, I lost access to my e-signing program, and I had not yet gotten set up on the new office’s system. Long story short, I wanted the personal letter to be hand-signed so I suggested we meet before my open house at the property. Then began the chaos of the day. I was trying to assemble the docs and get clearance from my guru. The printer wasn’t cooperating. Bubs cut his nose while shaving and was bleeding profusely. We couldn’t find bandages. Then the printer ran out of toner. We ran out of regular paper. Argh!! I decided to print out at the office. Meanwhile, my laptop has been having more and more issues with shutdown and blue screen. I ordered a new one last week but it’s stuck in Asia due to some mechanical airplane failure. When we get to the office with Bubs driving like a maniac, my badge doesn’t work. Are you fucking kidding me??? We drive to Staples to print from my laptop, and ONE service person is helping an old man who doesn’t know what he’s trying to do with some newspaper layout. Time is a ticking, and I am freaking out. The shit gets printed. Then we arrive at the house and my ekey doesn’t work. It was wonky the day before too. Thankfully, I got the combo key for a spare in the side yard. I enter the side yard and it’s a letter-lock not number-based combo lock. WTF? I call the list agent. When he answers, I realize I am in the neighbor’s yard. Duh. Ok, we get inside and my people sign and we chat for a bit.

Then they head off and the open house begins. I’m trying to assemble all the finance docs to show proof of funds. J goes to Staples again to scan in my signed docs. Then, my T-mobile hotspot service is super wonky, which means my wifi sucks. Everything online takes forever. The house is a trustee sale, so I want to be sure the title names are correct. I text a bunch of people to confirm. No reply, so I just send in the doc. Later, list agent says the seller name needs to be the Trust. Have to redo the docs. This time, I get the help of my colleague to send it in. All day, the shit is like that. I’m fumbling around with the e-sign program and then some sig spots were missed. I’m worrying that the buyer is thinking this is totally Mickey Mouse. Open house picks up crazy in the last hour. By late Sunday, listing agent says offer looks good.

On Monday, we’re waiting. I check in in the morning with the list agent, and he says they received others but we are well-positioned. By Monday end, we’re asked to go up bc other party increased bid. My buyer refuses. Fortunately, we get the acceptance despite having the lower offer. I am overjoyed and ecstatic.

On Tuesday, my buyer is asking me again about the solar panel lease. He’s researched the company and is worried. Doesn’t want the panels and wants seller to pay off the lease. I tell him, we would have to reimburse seller and he refuses, saying the lease contract has nothing to do with him. Umm, what? That begins the first of many uncomfortable conversations with multiple parties. Meanwhile, since Monday, I’ve been trying to speak with a live person at the solar company. No callbacks, no email replies. WTF. I probe with my buyer to really see what it is that he wants. Is there another path that would satisfy him? Yes, compensation to take over the lease. Then I get a number for that. I tell the list agent, we want the seller to remove the panels at their cost. List agent calls me like what are you talking about? We told you there was a lease or payoff option. Yes, but my buyers say it’s not in the contract. Yes it is. No it’s not. Finally, I give him a number the buyer wants for compensation.

On Wednesday, I hear the sellers will split the difference and my buyer is upset that I didn’t give them the original number but instead talked him down. He wants to hold firm. I go back to the list agent, and the shit hits the fan. He warns that if we don’t take this deal, sellers will request a contract cancellation. My office insists they can’t do that and are contractually obligated to move forward…  We’re on the phone in the mail room with the list agent and the big guns come out with voices raising… OMFG. More back and forth and then ultimately, we acquiesce to the deal with me throwing in the remaining amount the buyer wants. Now, we’re hoping to move on. That was just Thursday.

On Friday, I’m waiting for the sellers to sign the addendum agreeing to the buyer credit. Late afternoon approaches and still no signature. I begin to worry that the sellers are having second thoughts. Ugggg. Meanwhile, I meet the appraiser at the house. The lender keeps bugging me that we need the signed addendum. Turns out the seller was having tech issues with e-sign. Imagine that. We’re good to go. I then get on the phone with the solar company to begin the lease transfer papers. On hold for freaking ever again. I finally get a little bit of breathing room by week’s end… And I’m off again prepping for another open house. I figure I’ll try to keep the roll going. Scored a 2 BR/2 BA condo in my stomping grounds. Yup, I’m keeping my foot on the gas, Chuck Yeager style!

The following week: Monday and Tuesday, I was out of the office bc my nieces were in town. That didn’t stop me from having to make MORE calls to push and prod the solar lease people. Jesus Christ. It was seriously ridiculous. Understaffed, behind, doing the best they can… blah, blah. Meanwhile, I am combing through the disclosures and inspection reports, calling the inspection companies even to learn more… so that I can properly advise my buyers on next steps. I’m also checking in with the lender, making sure all the loan docs are on track. I keep being told everything is on schedule, then suddenly Thursday rolls around and I call the escrow officer. She says she hasn’t even spoken with the lender. Huh? I mean, it’s so weird but like all the parties are so busy they don’t even check in with each other… it’s very bizarre. So then I’m tracking down the lender again asking them when they are planning to give the estimates to the buyers. By Thursday evening, the lender tells me we might need to get an extension “bc of the major holiday.” Say what, lady? I check with my mentor about the timeline. Even with the holiday, the contract requires us to close on Monday, July 10. Ugh! I push back to the lender: look, I negotiated big time to get the sellers to choose OUR BUYERS over the other families. We have to get this done on time. On Friday, the buyers still have not received the loan doc estimates. I’m CC’d on emails where the escrow and lenders are sending spreadsheets back and forth. I’m finding errors including my name listed as the seller. Meanwhile, my mentor is telling me this is supposed to be the part where those two parties take care of shit without my prodding and checking…. Figures, MY deal would NOT be the norm. By Friday night, the lender calls and tells me there is an error in the docs from the escrow company that would potentially cause delays. By then, it’s after close of business and the escrow officer has gone home for the July 4 holiday weekend. She is completely unreachable. Yup, I was shitting bricks.

Thankfully, the lender worked things out on her team’s end and proceeded to the next step. I got in touch with escrow on Monday for the corrections. Whew!

So, we’re through another hurdle. Loan sign off occurred on Wednesday for my buyers. The sellers signed off the next day, and we are positioned for funding on Monday morning and close Monday afternoon. Just in time as my parents and Bubbey get back to town! Of course, the solar papers are still dragging ass behind the schedule they promised, but it’s not going to clog the deal, so whatever. Sigh. I mean, I’ve definitely learned a shit ton on my inaugural deal. 🙂 While all of this is happening, I’m researching kitchen reno ideas, washer/dryers, kitchen designers, etc. Also, attending training, hustling for open houses on the weekends, prepping for the open houses, studying the market and comps, AND doing a buyer consult meeting completely in Mandarin. Haha, I suppose this job is a dabbler/generalist’s dream with all the multitasking.

Well, it happened. Yup, I submitted my first offer and I scored my first acceptance. 1/1 baby. I am so stoked. Closing date is July 10.

It all happened very fast, but it was by no means easy. I don’t want to reveal too much since we haven’t yet closed, but as my father has always insisted, “There is no free lunch.” I will say, I am grateful that after seven months of busting my ass, I have finally received some kind of affirmation that I can do this work. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the last several days have certainly taken years off my life. I’m hoping the anxiety will subside as I gain more experience and exposure. But shit, I sure felt like I got sucked into a cyclone. Yes, a cyclone (and NOT a whirlwind) of intensity. I had more sleepless nights, runny bowels, tummy aches, numb fingers, no appetite, and two meltdowns.

In my defense, I mean, this is a huge transaction. For many, it is THE biggest transaction of their lives, so even though no-contingency offers are common in this market, I felt so much weight in the responsibility. I wanted to get it all right. And shit, aside from the transactional components, I also learned so much about communication, interaction, negotiation, and the ridiculous messiness of carrying out my fiduciary duty in the midst of high drama and high emotions.

In retrospect, it’s ironic: Even though I have spent a lifetime training up, between my social intelligence and social psych classes, personality tests/readings, comm books, body language seminars, etc., nothing ramped me up like the week following my offer acceptance. The good news is that I made it through and seriously, I have gained so much wisdom.

That said, I’m still keeping my foot on the gas pedal. I know, Bubs and my friends are telling me to take it easy but shit man, I have a fear that I will lose the momentum if I stop. So the next weekend, I hosted another open house. It was a condo just five minutes from home. I randomly pinged a Chinese agent (among several others), met with him two days prior to the open house, and bam, just like that I scored a decent professional contact. He seemed quite impressed by my initiative and attention to detail (I had numerous questions about the HOA docs). Hehe. Yes, I am keeping tabs on all the positive feedback I get: I’ll need a stash for those days when I’ll be discouraged and down in the dumps. 😛

In general, condos are logistically more complicated to host, bc you’re not allowed to prop open the main doors, so visitors have to call your cell first and then you go out front to let them in. That means I leave my shit unattended while strangers are checking out the unit. NBD if I don’t overthink it. I tried to line up a partner for the open house, but my lender got caught up at the bank, so she was 2.5 hours late. Regardless, I fielded the visitors ok. No real sparks. Remember: there are no loyalties in this business, right?

Other general observations? The young professionals can be really standoffish and rude. Older folks are more chatty and friendly. Sadly, no real leads after two days. Ah well, it won’t stop me from staying in touch and from adding the peeps to my database. 🙂 Hey man, I gotta work my system!

Randomly, I got a text from a former colleague at SCU on Sunday afternoon. His family lives in downtown Mountain View and he saw my open house signs as they drove home from Trader Joe’s. Muhahaha, my signs are paying off! J made some funny comment that he felt weird putting up signs near our own hood. I interpreted that as him feeling some shame about my work and career. He dodged my probing questions. In the end, I think he was just feeling sheepish about my work in sales… kinda like when he just drops me off for flyering at the parks. It’s just too much people interaction for the Unabomber. Indeed, I have been feeling pretty darn talked out at the end of each day.

A few months ago when I was taking that BOLD sales/prospecting class, I remember how the head coach kept telling us to keep up the momentum. He told this story about a famous pilot, Chuck Yeager, who broke the sound barrier. Did I re-tell this story already? Anyway, as Chuck Yeager approached the sound barrier, all the instrumentation and shit inside his cockpit started rattling and cracking and breaking. In his communications with the control center, he was convinced he was not going to survive. A few seconds later, he lost contact and everyone in the control center got all sullen, thinking he had died. But just a few seconds after that, he came back on, thrilled to report that he had broken through the barrier.

Obviously, what I’m doing is nothing pioneering or life-threatening, but this story totally captures the moments (so many already) on this whole real estate ride where I really thought I could not go any farther. So many times, I came up on barriers that I felt were insurmountable… that’s it, I would tell myself: that’s the end of this road for me. My mind and psyche were flooded with all those negative thoughts: this was a mistake. I’m not the right personality for this work. I don’t have the constitution for this; I don’t have the charisma; I’m not a salesperson; I’m not compelling; I don’t have the street smarts; I don’t have the emotional intelligence. Who will ever hire me.

I know, all these statements may sound overly dramatic, but when you go for months without a lead, you really start to believe these things. I still say to Bubbey every damn week: “This is my last chance at success.” I mean, for fucks sake, I’m getting too old to be changing careers and turning new tricks.

Yet somehow when I hit these new lows, I always find some way to come back up. To be honest, I think about all the people around the world who struggle and who persist and who inspire. This is not some raw deal or raw hand I got in life. Hardly the case. These are choices I made to do things differently, and I need to hunker down and make this shit happen!

For the longest time, I felt like my parents were always disappointed in me bc I never settled down with my career. I kept changing, I kept switching. While I kept starting over, my peers were building legit careers: they were honing their knowledge and skills, becoming experts and specialists: becoming VPs or partners or directors or chief surgeons or whatever. Meanwhile, I was perpetually in low-mid level positions. They never wanted to tell their friends what I was up to, bc it was nothing impressive. They wanted me to put my head down, work hard, and move up that ladder in ONE place.

Oddly, their ideas and thoughts about jobs seem very different now. I don’t know if it’s bc they have lived a whole other lifetime in the last few years or what… dad now always says you’ll never build wealth from a job (like from a salary). The path to wealth is through assets and passive income. I mean, it’s not so much the money part of his comment that resonates with me (though I totally agree); rather, it’s this subtle acquiescence that suggests: loyalty and hard work to other people don’t really get you jack. I mean, that’s an oversimplification of course. You get stability and security and health insurance. But I think too about how quickly tech is replacing jobs (even skilled jobs) and how much automation will make so many things obsolete eventually… maybe dad has a different perspective on my flexibility and adaptability, seeing as I can do a variety of things, from contracts to project management to web work to making signs… Ha!

I dunno. I still get down and frustrated, but generally, I feel mentally stronger. And more than ever, I feel more in control of my time and my energies. With real estate, I am enjoying the diversity that the business entails and I do feel like ultimately, this is something that is mine that I can grow. It’s not something where after a few years, I’ll feel constrained or limited or pigeonholed. There’s a path to growth. And with it being a business, I get to choose my tools and programs and how I want to run things. It’s pretty dang cool.

So I’m feeling a resurgence. Last month, I vowed to fill all my weekends in June with open houses. I’ve done that 3/3 weekends now. This weekend, I scored my best open house yet: a single-family home in a very hot neighborhood in Sunnyvale. I got more people at my open house today than probably all my past open house combined. It was nonstop. And all Asians!!! I was extra diligent about gathering info and following up. Yup, contacted people within HOURS of my open house wrapping up. Tomorrow, I go back for Day 2.

Before my open house today, I also hit up two busy parks in Sunnyvale. Yup, did my whole “approaching strangers with kids” tactic and passed out my open house postcards. J went with me to the park; we split up; and then I texted him when I was done. He couldn’t stop remarking about how hardworking I was. It’s kinda funny though: In my regular circle of friends, no one works in sales. So when I tell people about all this prospecting shit, they are kinda in awe that I somehow find the energy to do these awkward activities. But then when I talk to my colleagues or people who work in sales, they’re like, yeah you gotta do MORE. More people. More conversations. More calls. MORE. What you’re doing is not enough. Sigh. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll kick it up another notch.

On Friday, I dropped by the local BOA branch to check in on one of the lenders with whom I’ve been partnering. She’s the sweetest lady, a total pro in the business, and she had sent a referral when I was in Nashville. I stopped by to invite her to lunch as a thank you for thinking of me. She’s a cool lady, who’s in between my age and my parents’ age. I enjoyed geting to know her, and it’s nice too to meet someone who acknowleges my fire and really wants to help me succeed. I have been feeling pretty good about building my lender relationships: this was a strategy my coach recommended from the get go, and I have been sticking to a routine with regular check-ins and follow throughs, and the seeds are finally starting to grow.

On Saturday, while Bubs and I were out, I got a call from a young Asian couple, referred by none other than my lender M!! They were so polite and pleasant. We talked about what they were seeking, their timeline, and I booked a meeting for Monday morning. Yes, it is the Memorial Day holiday but I’m a hustler. I was feeling good that things were looking up. Incidentally, the German family from my neighborhood who attended my homebuying class also reached out on Friday and said they were ready to resume their homebuying process. I booked them for a meeting on Tuesday.

So on Sunday, I was feeling the fire growing in my belly. We had my long lost buddy T over for brunch. J and I met his new gf for the first time. They are an older couple, but it’s so nice to again, see a good fit. Both super fit and active and into birding and nature. There is just something to having interests and activities and knowing how to have fun. I really wish my parents understood and embraced that secret.

Anyway, we had a lovely brunch at the houseboat. At the same time, I was also test trialing a new Rover client. She’s an excellent dog, and basically, the day was going awesome. How’s that for some positivity? In the afternoon, I was planning to preview some homes bc I wanted to have a better sense for the areas my Monday couple were keen on. J and I toured some places. I got some good ideas. And actually, some of the places I was touring might be a good match for ANOTHER family in my current neighborhoood. Yeah, you see, on Friday, another neighbor I, whose sister was thinking about exploring real estate back when I was just starting the classes, she reached out and said her parents are downsizing in MD and thinking to move out here. Yeah, I have even met her parents before when they were out visiting and walking their dogs. They are pretty much on a similar trajectory as my parents… immigrants from Taiwan, settled in MD (not far from John’s family), always optimizing tax stuff, debating where to settle for retirement… So yeah, as you can see, I’ve got a few things thawing… and it all kinda came in the last two weeks.

So now we are at Monday morning. I had some anxiety last night about my inaugural buyer consult this morning: the usual sleeplessness and bowel issues. But I got cleaned up and ready to go. Well, on my drive into the office (I was headed there an hour early to mentally prepare), the sweet couple called and canceled. They had dinner last night with the parentals and they will use the mother’s realtor friend. I was in the car, and I mean, there was no hiding my disappointment. I was absolutely crushed bc I was finally feeling like the tide was turning after all these months of work. But after my 10 secs of stun, I remembered to be gracious. I said that if anything changed, I hope they would consider me and I am excited for them on this journey ahead.  Then I started to drive home, and on the way, I called Bubs and started to cry.

Failure again! Poor me, blah, blah. But then I got off the phone and dug deep. This is how the business works.  I can’t be crying and calling off the whole day bc of a setback. So I turned the car around again and decided to head to the office anyway to talk with my coach. I still have a meeting tomorrow with the German family to prepare for. And along the drive, I thought back to that conversation with the Asian couple. I should have fought more for it rather than just accept their choice. When I arrived at the office, I called them back. I said that I respected their decision, but sometimes realtors have different personalities and communication styles, so what works for their parents might not mesh for them. I’m happy to meet to get to know them better and share my style and then they can decide. They were very kind and said they would meet with the other agent first and contact me again if that didn’t work out. And that was that. I did my best to fight for it. We’ll see how tomorrow goes.

What can I say, this past week has been another grind. But holy crap, on the plus side, I am feeling the growth. I promised a recap of last Saturday, so first things first. Yeah, last Saturday was Easter weekend, and I started the day by tabling with a veteran (20+ years of experience) loan officer at BOA. I was awful at tabling. People would just kinda walk by as they headed to the teller line. Thankfully, my lender had a table full of swag and that brought some people over. I watched her engage them, asking questions about their current loan and rates and seeing if they were interested in refinancing. She was so great about introducing me as the branch realtor. I know, it’s strange to hear. Anyway, who the hell knew that bank branches could be so damn busy? I talked to the branch manager, and he gave me the lowdown: many of their clients are blue collar workers who don’t have direct deposit, so they come in with a pile of checks and then leave with cash, bc they are still cash-based in most of their transactions. The other interesting tidbit was that nearly everyone at the branch spoke Spanish, and it was cool to see a place providing customer service tailored to its clientele.

The branch manager was super friendly AND actually, he’s a warm lead: he’s moving to Texas in two months. It became super apparent that he was a researcher (he spent the last two years researching various cities throughout the country for his next stop), so we bonded over that. After I got home, I did all this research on good agents in San Antonio, reached out to one of them, and then made the intro. We’ll see if that pans out as a referral.

Later, my lender started working with a couple, and she brought me over and introduced me. The couple told stated that they are already working with an agent, but the lender continued to push me as a backup or in case if anything changes. I was super nervous though, bc I recently had a training at the realtors’ association and they always say it’s a huge no-no to engage with clients who are already taken. I mean, obviously, from the client’s perspective, if an agent can answer questions now, I suppose it’s helpful but you can’t be stealing clients. As a newb, I was especially uncomfortable about it and I think the awkwardness came across. Interestingly, I recently discovered that all lenders also have a real estate license, which is required as part of their lending license, so the lender helped me navigate some of the topics they were discussing. I was sooo nervous. Still, it was very helpful to see how the pros do things… you really can learn a ton just by watching.

In the afternoon, I had the open house at the swanky flip house in Almaden Valley. I got about 13 people through. I’m still nervous and uneasy when people ask me questions, so I need to work on that confidence… it’s ok if I don’t know the answer, but I just have to make sure I’m more assertive about finding the answer and getting back. J saw me interact with some of the people and said I’m getting more comfortable about it. For the most part, people are super cagey, but thank goodness for the ones who are open and friendly. It makes a world of difference. Shit man, sales is so fricking hard. This makes me re-think the next time I enter a retail store: I really should be nicer. Everyone’s trying to do a good job and earn a living, you know?