Category Archives: Getting Shit Done

Resurgence

A few months ago when I was taking that BOLD sales/prospecting class, I remember how the head coach kept telling us to keep up the momentum. He told this story about a famous pilot, Chuck Yeager, who broke the sound barrier. Did I re-tell this story already? Anyway, as Chuck Yeager approached the sound barrier, all the instrumentation and shit inside his cockpit started rattling and cracking and breaking. In his communications with the control center, he was convinced he was not going to survive. A few seconds later, he lost contact and everyone in the control center got all sullen, thinking he had died. But just a few seconds after that, he came back on, thrilled to report that he had broken through the barrier.

Obviously, what I’m doing is nothing pioneering or life-threatening, but this story totally captures the moments (so many already) on this whole real estate ride where I really thought I could not go any farther. So many times, I came up on barriers that I felt were insurmountable… that’s it, I would tell myself: that’s the end of this road for me. My mind and psyche were flooded with all those negative thoughts: this was a mistake. I’m not the right personality for this work. I don’t have the constitution for this; I don’t have the charisma; I’m not a salesperson; I’m not compelling; I don’t have the street smarts; I don’t have the emotional intelligence. Who will ever hire me.

I know, all these statements may sound overly dramatic, but when you go for months without a lead, you really start to believe these things. I still say to Bubbey every damn week: “This is my last chance at success.” I mean, for fucks sake, I’m getting too old to be changing careers and turning new tricks.

Yet somehow when I hit these new lows, I always find some way to come back up. To be honest, I think about all the people around the world who struggle and who persist and who inspire. This is not some raw deal or raw hand I got in life. Hardly the case. These are choices I made to do things differently, and I need to hunker down and make this shit happen!

For the longest time, I felt like my parents were always disappointed in me bc I never settled down with my career. I kept changing, I kept switching. While I kept starting over, my peers were building legit careers: they were honing their knowledge and skills, becoming experts and specialists: becoming VPs or partners or directors or chief surgeons or whatever. Meanwhile, I was perpetually in low-mid level positions. They never wanted to tell their friends what I was up to, bc it was nothing impressive. They wanted me to put my head down, work hard, and move up that ladder in ONE place.

Oddly, their ideas and thoughts about jobs seem very different now. I don’t know if it’s bc they have lived a whole other lifetime in the last few years or what… dad now always says you’ll never build wealth from a job (like from a salary). The path to wealth is through assets and passive income. I mean, it’s not so much the money part of his comment that resonates with me (though I totally agree); rather, it’s this subtle acquiescence that suggests: loyalty and hard work to other people don’t really get you jack. I mean, that’s an oversimplification of course. You get stability and security and health insurance. But I think too about how quickly tech is replacing jobs (even skilled jobs) and how much automation will make so many things obsolete eventually… maybe dad has a different perspective on my flexibility and adaptability, seeing as I can do a variety of things, from contracts to project management to web work to making signs… Ha!

I dunno. I still get down and frustrated, but generally, I feel mentally stronger. And more than ever, I feel more in control of my time and my energies. With real estate, I am enjoying the diversity that the business entails and I do feel like ultimately, this is something that is mine that I can grow. It’s not something where after a few years, I’ll feel constrained or limited or pigeonholed. There’s a path to growth. And with it being a business, I get to choose my tools and programs and how I want to run things. It’s pretty dang cool.

So I’m feeling a resurgence. Last month, I vowed to fill all my weekends in June with open houses. I’ve done that 3/3 weekends now. This weekend, I scored my best open house yet: a single-family home in a very hot neighborhood in Sunnyvale. I got more people at my open house today than probably all my past open house combined. It was nonstop. And all Asians!!! I was extra diligent about gathering info and following up. Yup, contacted people within HOURS of my open house wrapping up. Tomorrow, I go back for Day 2.

Before my open house today, I also hit up two busy parks in Sunnyvale. Yup, did my whole “approaching strangers with kids” tactic and passed out my open house postcards. J went with me to the park; we split up; and then I texted him when I was done. He couldn’t stop remarking about how hardworking I was. It’s kinda funny though: In my regular circle of friends, no one works in sales. So when I tell people about all this prospecting shit, they are kinda in awe that I somehow find the energy to do these awkward activities. But then when I talk to my colleagues or people who work in sales, they’re like, yeah you gotta do MORE. More people. More conversations. More calls. MORE. What you’re doing is not enough. Sigh. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll kick it up another notch.

Jumping June

Well, a lot has happened since the end of May. First, mom got her MRI test results back. The scans indicate that her brain “plaques” are not due to a hemorrhage or tumor. It’s not exactly good news: just news that eliminates other possible explanations for her cognitive decline. She is definitely getting worse. I am seeing her decline written all over my dad’s face when he calls via FaceTime. He says she seems happy and fine. But goddamn, he looks tired. He says that when they go out to restaurants and she needs to use the restroom afterwards, he waits for her right outside the women’s bathroom, bc there have been times when she came out and got disoriented in the restaurant. The thought of this is seriously stressing me out, bc that means she really does have to be chaperoned at all times.

I’ve been doing a ton of research recently for dad. He wanted me to contact real estate investors to gather data points for selling his properties as-is. That route turned out to be a total no-go at like 70% of market value. Then, I researched estate planning folks. As usual, I spent all this time checking reviews and BBB and whatever. Dad will just attend some free seminar given by a company that has a regular radio spot and use that company if he likes the seminar. Then I have been researching activities to keep Alzheimer’s people active… My parents actually enrolled in a watercolor class offered through the Frederick Center for Aging. My dad just kept saying they weren’t good (See? Perfectionists. This is class no. 1. Neither has ever taken watercoloring… they aren’t going to be good right out of the gate. Get over it!). I’m glad they are signed up (4 classes, once a week) and are finally getting outside of the house and interacting with people. Frickin’ hermits.

I also had a call with an agent in Rockville. I was actually thinking about her for my parents, my neighbor’s parents (who live in MD), and maybe my MIL… eventually when any one of those parties is ready to move. The agent was a kindred spirit actually. I like her a lot and turns out she has connections to my hometown and her hubby graduated from Stanford. Anyway, we have promised to do lunch when either is in the other’s neck of the woods. Kinda cool. The whole reason I found her was bc last time in MD, we drove by a cute bungalow for sale, and I noticed the KW sign. KW is kinda lesser known back home. I looked up the listing, saw what a fab job she did getting the place ready for sale, and then dug around seeing where she’s done her transactions: Frederick, Rockville, NW DC. Check, check, check. Yeah, sometimes building my network is fun.

What else. My newest Rover client started on June 2. I was really worried Sadie was going to be way overbearing and spazzy, but she’s turning out to be top notch. Yeah, getting up there with my beloved Ramona aka Kidney Bean even!

Workwise, there has been some drama. I really thought I’d escaped all that bullshit office politics when I left govvie and higher ed. Apparently. Not. Long story short, my coach/mentor abruptly changed offices. We were trying to still partner together despite being in different offices, but after a week and after seeing the writing on the wall where the old office clearly was NOT going to support an ongoing partnership, I decided to switch also. It’s fine: the new place is basically the same distance and the office is larger, not to mention run by women leaders whom I really like, and WAY more organized. I feel good about the move, but you know, there’s a lot with meeting all the agents here and just kinda settling in. As a side note, the drama/feuding between the offices is continuing. So juvenile.

My German family is still working with my lender. I hope they can make progress soon so we can start house hunting… we’ll see. Meanwhile, I am still trying to fill my weekends with open houses. Last weekend, my colleague at the old office passed me some options: on Saturday morning, I discovered that I would be co-hosting a Sunnyvale condo with a veteran agent with nearly 30 years of experience! He was a great guy and we talked the whole time, but open house wise, traffic was kind of slow and at the end of the day, I was super wiped. Not just from all the talking but also bc talking to him really highlighted just how far I have to go. He was super savvy too: knew all the tax laws and financial secrets. I think he said he used to be Mayor of Sunnyvale. He was SUPER well-connected: had all kinds of stories of influence and getting shit done. He was similar to my dad too in that he had established multiple income streams… another key to building wealth. 

I was supposed to go to a dance festival in downtown SJ afterwards, but man, open houses make for very long days, esp when I go doorknocking beforehand. Yeah, no real leads that day either. Kinda sucked. But things are warming up again: I just scored an open house for this weekend. I’m also slated for another next weekend. Work, work, work, work, work.

Getting Warmer

On Friday, I dropped by the local BOA branch to check in on one of the lenders with whom I’ve been partnering. She’s the sweetest lady, a total pro in the business, and she had sent a referral when I was in Nashville. I stopped by to invite her to lunch as a thank you for thinking of me. She’s a cool lady, who’s in between my age and my parents’ age. I enjoyed geting to know her, and it’s nice too to meet someone who acknowleges my fire and really wants to help me succeed. I have been feeling pretty good about building my lender relationships: this was a strategy my coach recommended from the get go, and I have been sticking to a routine with regular check-ins and follow throughs, and the seeds are finally starting to grow.

On Saturday, while Bubs and I were out, I got a call from a young Asian couple, referred by none other than my lender M!! They were so polite and pleasant. We talked about what they were seeking, their timeline, and I booked a meeting for Monday morning. Yes, it is the Memorial Day holiday but I’m a hustler. I was feeling good that things were looking up. Incidentally, the German family from my neighborhood who attended my homebuying class also reached out on Friday and said they were ready to resume their homebuying process. I booked them for a meeting on Tuesday.

So on Sunday, I was feeling the fire growing in my belly. We had my long lost buddy T over for brunch. J and I met his new gf for the first time. They are an older couple, but it’s so nice to again, see a good fit. Both super fit and active and into birding and nature. There is just something to having interests and activities and knowing how to have fun. I really wish my parents understood and embraced that secret.

Anyway, we had a lovely brunch at the houseboat. At the same time, I was also test trialing a new Rover client. She’s an excellent dog, and basically, the day was going awesome. How’s that for some positivity? In the afternoon, I was planning to preview some homes bc I wanted to have a better sense for the areas my Monday couple were keen on. J and I toured some places. I got some good ideas. And actually, some of the places I was touring might be a good match for ANOTHER family in my current neighborhoood. Yeah, you see, on Friday, another neighbor I, whose sister was thinking about exploring real estate back when I was just starting the classes, she reached out and said her parents are downsizing in MD and thinking to move out here. Yeah, I have even met her parents before when they were out visiting and walking their dogs. They are pretty much on a similar trajectory as my parents… immigrants from Taiwan, settled in MD (not far from John’s family), always optimizing tax stuff, debating where to settle for retirement… So yeah, as you can see, I’ve got a few things thawing… and it all kinda came in the last two weeks.

So now we are at Monday morning. I had some anxiety last night about my inaugural buyer consult this morning: the usual sleeplessness and bowel issues. But I got cleaned up and ready to go. Well, on my drive into the office (I was headed there an hour early to mentally prepare), the sweet couple called and canceled. They had dinner last night with the parentals and they will use the mother’s realtor friend. I was in the car, and I mean, there was no hiding my disappointment. I was absolutely crushed bc I was finally feeling like the tide was turning after all these months of work. But after my 10 secs of stun, I remembered to be gracious. I said that if anything changed, I hope they would consider me and I am excited for them on this journey ahead.  Then I started to drive home, and on the way, I called Bubs and started to cry.

Failure again! Poor me, blah, blah. But then I got off the phone and dug deep. This is how the business works.  I can’t be crying and calling off the whole day bc of a setback. So I turned the car around again and decided to head to the office anyway to talk with my coach. I still have a meeting tomorrow with the German family to prepare for. And along the drive, I thought back to that conversation with the Asian couple. I should have fought more for it rather than just accept their choice. When I arrived at the office, I called them back. I said that I respected their decision, but sometimes realtors have different personalities and communication styles, so what works for their parents might not mesh for them. I’m happy to meet to get to know them better and share my style and then they can decide. They were very kind and said they would meet with the other agent first and contact me again if that didn’t work out. And that was that. I did my best to fight for it. We’ll see how tomorrow goes.

Trip Home

I forgot to update on our short trip home last weekend. What can I say: I still always feel some element of dread when I’m about to see my parents. It’s like a constant reminder of how to live life differently. Not in all ways, but in many ways. 

My father made some progress geting rid of stuff. And actually, his former office manager came to the house on Sunday with her kids and a huge trailer to haul off my old bedroom furniture and some new twin mattresses from the basement. I was glad that they turned out to be serious/actual takers and our stuff is going to be used. But I got so overwhelmed by it all, even just cleaning out my bedroom in prep for them to take the furniture. I mean, there’s like 35 years worth of stuff in that house. Nathalie drove up from NC for the weekend and helped, but she could see that it was too much for me. She reiterated the same things John has said: don’t waste your remaining time fighting and arguing with them about downsizing logistics. After they are gone, you will have full control over how to get shit done. It’s so true, and yet the clutter and stuff just stresses me out. N also commented about how old my parents are getting. It’s been probably seven years since she saw them, and I mean, obviously they are a much frailer version of their former selves.

And my mother is not well. Dad has been wanting to stimulate her brain with Chinese puzzles and games, but she is kinda beyond that now. We tried playing Chinese checkers and she kept playing a turn when it wasn’t her turn. I’ve seen this behavior before with my maternal grandmother and mahjong. Of course, my maternal grandmother is in her 90s. My mom isn’t even 70. Dad had been saying that he’s noticing more cognitive decline, and I was thinking he was just overreacting: mom has always been confused. But John also noticed. 

This trip I really observed how faithful and loyal my father is with my mother. He repeats his answers to her even when she asks the same shit over and over. He still is patient and remains her dedicated companion. He doesn’t show frustration or resentment towards her about it… he just remains true. It makes me wonder about my future. It is so hard for me to be patient and kind to my parents… even knowing what I know about her illness. I have my doubts about my caretaking abilities. And a part of me also worries about my own mental state. If I lose my cognition, what will happen to me? There is some element of fear for the future– both theirs and mine.

I see too the emotional burden this takes on my father. He has a history of taking on burdens and of being the dependable one for everyone. But I worry about his mental state, bc I know caretaking is incredibly taxing. Mom is supposed to get the results of her MRI on May 31. She is taking meds that are supposed to slow the cognitive decline, but the decline is still apparent.

I think the emotional toll on my dad is manifesting in the form of procrastination and paralysis regarding the house and his real estate properties in the area. I can understand the overwhlem and how debilitating it is. So for now, my offer is to suggest California as an option for their US base. Move out of MD, and get something in CA. Yes, it’s expensive and taxes are insane. But Stanford is right down the road, John and I are here, there is a legit Chinese community here, AND Taiwan is a direct flight away. For so many other reasons, CA just makes sense. 

After I got back from Maryland, I made a ton of calls and found a Chinese-speaking neurologist and geriatric specialist in my area. I confirmed that both physicians take Medicare. I got my mother registered as a new patient with PAMF, should she want to get care here. They may come out in July to stay for a week or so, before flying on to Taiwan. I suggested making some medical appointments for that time.

My mother is also speaking exclusively in Chinese at his point– probably bc they don’t really socialize much in MD. Taiwan offers more stimulation for her. My dad can’t be her one-stop shop for everything: socialization, activities, etc. Anyway, all of it is pretty damn depressing. And every visit, I’m still reminded of how distant we are: we just don’t have a close relationship. But I suppose rather than be disappointed and frustrated, I have to focus on what I can do for them. I do know how to get things done, and if that is the only thing I can do for my parents, I’ll be damn good at that.
Meanwhile, my MIL is in a similar boat. She has been going to physical therapy which has given her more stamina. That said, she’s still getting older, like everyone else. With every visit, the changes become more and more apparent. I know I’m like a perpetually stressed-out person, but this period in my life truly feels unlike any other. It’s almost as if all past periods of stress were like fake or trial runs or I dunno, tiny niblets building up. I thought those times were really serious, but I see how that the shit is just now starting to hit the fan. I feel neither ready nor prepared, but I guess that is the theme for life from here on out.

Breaking Point

OMFG, my body has been all kinds of fucked up the last week. First, I had been fureaking out about my homebuying class, which was tonight. Usually, I am not THAT bad about public speaking, but I suppose the combo of having to deal with the lagging home reno plus my prospecting class plus delivering a real estate preso for the first time ever, plus worrying about all sorts of other “adulting” familial matters just put my stress levels through the roof. I was having constant tummy aches; my fingers were numb; I was having diarrhea for like days on end… it was seriously getting out of control.

On top of that, I had to prep the preso slides– most were existing content from my coach, but they were not in any kind of consistent template and the ordering was all non sequitor. When I spoke to my coach, he kept telling me that typical turnout is 25% or less for such events. And then my lender did not prep his slides. We were supposed to do a dry run rehearsal last week and now it was the day before, and he didn’t have any slides done. In fact, I got his slides two hours before go time tonight.

Long story short, my body was revolting. I’d started prepping my talk a few days ago and I did a few dry runs. Bubs is always more critical than not: Confusing here. Not enough emphasis there. Too many slides. blah, blah. That commentary was yesterday, so I was already feeling up to the wire. More tweaks. Bubs is just so sharp on that shit… all that business acumen from his startup days I think. Ugh, I was feeling underprepared and not good enough!

Somehow though, I woke up today feeling calmer than the previous two days. I kicked off my day with many tracks of Meditation Oasis… thanks, G! That shit is specific too, with stuff on like emergency anxiety relief. Thankfully, the day started off ok. I attended a volunteer event at the office and felt moderately calm. Then, in the afternoon, I did one more dry run with Bubs two hours before show time. More feedback. More tweaks. Fuck!!!

The good news is that 19 people registered and 12 people attended. I was disappointed that NONE of the attendees were people from my door knocking and flyering/canvassing efforts. Two came from my contacts who passed along my info. Four were people from my last job. The rest found out about my event on EventBrite. Of course, as 6pm came around, I was starting to worry bc only 3 people were on time. And my coach was telling me to start on time out of respect for those who were punctual.

My talk went ok. Bc of the stragglers who came in after I got started and I made last minute tweaks, it wasn’t perfect… there was a part where my voice lost confidence bc I expected a different slide than what was next. But whatever: Bubbey said he was really proud of me. And my own coach said he could tell I’d done public speaking before. After my part was done, my coach came in for a few slides and then the lender came on. He went so slowly, I was really getting antsy. But it was weird bc even though he got way down into the weeds, people asked questions and that indicates at least some interest and engagement.

Many people also stayed afterwards to talk to me and well, I’m going to follow up and hope this converts into something. I’m just so relieved it’s done. Several areas to change, but I’m happy with the outcome given that it was my inaugural talk as a Realtor. Shoutout to Bubs for prepping all the food and snacks. I’m grateful also to my former colleagues who attended, as well as my neighbors who helped me spread the word.

Tomorrow, we’re headed to Nashville for a long weekend. I honestly did feel like I was breaking this week, but thankfully, I am ok and I will enjoy our time with my college bud J and his gal. Next Wednesday, I graduate from my sales class. I will say, that shit has been a struggle every damn week… with the activities and some bizarre brainwashing/quasi-cult things. I spoke with a colleague today who is also participating and she said every class, she wants to leave and not come back. It was interesting that she had similar doubts and repulsions bc I felt like I was the only one not drinking the KoolAid. More on that stuff later. I def grew a lot and so many things would not have happened if it weren’t for the class: cold calling, door knocking, canvassing, my homebuyer class… still, it’ll be nice to exercise my own adult judgement on what is appropriate in terms of how to proceed.

Ok. I am beat but still mentally wired. Going to try to sleep now.

Seeking Shelter

In my sales/prospecting program, many of the students are feeling maxed out and on the verge of a meltdown. The coach keeps explaining though that when life transformation occurs, people have the meltdown(s) and then they let off the gas pedal. He insists that the correct response is to depress the pedal even further, bc you are right at the cusp of a breakthrough. I mean, I absolutely believe that people can surprise themselves with the depth of their strength but shit man, I’m not gonna lie: I am counting the days til this thing is over bc I am tired, boss. In addition, I am feeling so much anxiety! The culprit for the anxiety shifts around among different things but still, there’s just a high baseline of stress that’s causing my skin to get itchy and inflamed plus I am having all kinds of bad dreams.

In the beginning, I was super freaked out about the cold calling. Then, I got desensitized to that but I got tired of the inefficiency, so I switched to door knocking. I liked that better but again, it was hard to get people to come to their doors. So then I hit up the public spots. I started to really prefer the latter, as people seemed generally pleasant. But then, as I started doing that more, I suppose my sample size got larger and well, I started to encounter the jerkies. By then, I had fortunately developed a thicker skin but still, the annoyance is never going to be a zero.

Since my Whole Foods experience last Wednesday, I’ve hit up the Sunnyvale public park, the library, and then shopping/park areas in Santa Clara. I’ve already reached my 100 people for week 5. Of course now the coach has asked us to aim for a Bold 100 (100 people all in one day) + 60 additional people. WTF with the changing goal posts. I mean, I’m going to just say, I believe in metered and steady, so that 100 in one day ain’t happening. I agree that more numbers is always a good thing but… I have my limits. Some people in the class reach all 100 people via calling. That equates to about 9 hours of calling in one day. I think that’s pretty insane, and I’m skeptical as to how many leads they get from it. Then again, I still don’t have clients, so who am I to say.

Incidentally, when I hit up the park on Friday afternoon, the third person I approached with my homebuying class flyer turned out to be an older woman walking with her small dog… As we conversed, she told me she was homeless and living in her car. I mean, you have to remark on the irony of it all, right? Here I am, scouring public places in search of buyers for homes that average near $1M, and now in front of me, another human needs a place to stay and a place to shower. She went into her whole sob story: her hubby supported them; he got very ill; she was his caretaker; he died in December and his family never liked or supported her so now she’s living in her car. Honestly, it was heartbreaking and I just kept thinking about those asshole Republicans in the House who just voted to strip healthcare from regular people. Luckily, she had a phone. I promised her I would look around for resources in the area and get back to her. She left.

Afterwards, I felt so ridiculous with what I was doing, so I walked a few blocks to the public library and asked the info desk for stuff on homeless resources. I also got a bicycle map with all the Sunnyvale streets. I went back to the park, called her, and then I circled/plotted a few key places. But when I dialed a bunch of numbers, the places were closed or the numbers no longer worked. And I was running out of juice on my damn phone. I told her I would research more and call her later. Had she eaten today? Yes. I gave her $20 for gas or food, and she was so touched and thankful, she started to cry as she walked away. Over $20, folks. It made me so sad seeing how such a small gesture and small amount of money moved her so much. It only goes to show that she has not seen much kindness. Poor lady.

I walked to my car parked on the other side of the park and then I just started to bawl. I mean, what kind of world is this where $20 represents some generous act of kindness that brings someone in apparent need to tears?!? The world is a fucked up place. I have always known and understood that life is unfair, but sometimes the disparity is just so jarring and disturbing. There really can be no god.

That night, I could not sleep. I got home and called a gabillion numbers. Wrong numbers. Closed. Fax numbers. It was a royal clusterfuck of an experience. I went to bed feeling completely frustrated and spoiled, what with my heated mattress topper. Fuck, what is she going to do?

At 7am the next morning, Evangelina called. She asked if I’d found anywhere for her to stay. No, but let me try again this morning. More internet research, more wrong numbers. I must have dialed 25+ places. When I did speak to people, their facilities were either full or there was a 2-4 month waitlist for housing, or they only helped victims of domestic violence or teens or pregnant women… Finally, around 9am, I found a 250-bed shelter in San Jose. The place guarantees the first night for anyone who is new. After that, they run a daily lottery for beds. I also spoke with two case workers who asked me to have Evangelina call them. I called Evangelina and was so relieved to finally give her some options.

J kept telling me that I’m such a good person for helping her. But strangely, I feel ridiculous: How easy is it for me to be able to pass her off to someone else so that the “system” can help her. I mean, it’s still a cop out no matter how you dice it. At the same time though, society makes you afraid and cautious…

I’m so grateful for the kind souls who do this kind of difficult social services work. And I am glad, esp in California that we have programs for people. I know in my heart of hearts, there isn’t much difference between Evangelina and me. The distinction is privilege– not even anything of my own doing. I live a fucking charmed life, and I want to remember that every. damn. day.

Pounding the Pavement

Aw man, I just wrote a huge long post and then I started to fall asleep… As I went to save, I actually did NOT save and now it’s all gone. Fucking A. Argh!

Anyway, one of my revelations of late is that door knocking and canvassing are now my lead gen activities of choice. Why? Bc I can reach more people in less time. Yeah, that cold calling stuff was bullshit. I mean, people just don’t answer their phones anymore. And when they do, their radar for anything salesy is on super high alert. Five words in and I’m shut down. It sucked.

With door knocking, at least I am really practicing body language, speaking, and you know, building rapport. So after our weekend in Temecula, I was all worried of course about hitting my numbers. As soon as we landed in SJC, I went home, changed, printed out more flyers, and I hit up three parks in Santa Clara. In 2-3 hours, I also passed by some open houses, went in, and then continued on. The factors that worked in my favor? It was Sunday and the weather was beautiful. Families were out together enjoying the sunshine. For the most part, people weren’t in a huge hurry and maybe being in the presence of their kids also made them behave more politely. I mean, don’t get me wrong, on the path between the parks, I still ran into some jerks. They cut me off and glared like I was majorly inconveniencing them, what with my 10 seconds of talking… On the plus side, I also ran into one family where the dude stopped, listened, and responded, “Right on, yeah, we’ll see you there!” Say what? His reply made me laugh, even if he still probably won’t attend. It’s pretty interesting just the spectrum of reactions… In those two hours, I reached about 45 people, which is a good use of time I think. I def felt better about my numbers.

The next day, I hit up the library and then my office park. I really thought my office park would be a slam dunk, esp since people work in the adjacent buildings but eh… after walking the public spaces at lunch for a few days, it was generally the same people. Some very pleasant and nice. Others not so much.

But today we had the fifth of seven classes in my prospecting program. Afterwards, I was feeling motivated to up the attendance for my homebuying class next week, so I tried the Whole Foods. I spoke with the manager and got approval to hand out my flyers. Holy. Crap. People were super rude. They wouldn’t even take my flyer. And it was hotter than hell outside too. I dunno if maybe they were on a schedule or what but people were extremely snobbish and unfriendly. Still, I decided to give it an hour… things did get better and I actually had two real conversations… including someone who asked me about strategies to win in a multi-offer situation. I came clean and said I was new but I had spoken with a lot of lenders who shared what they did to help close the deals. He seemed happy with my reply and said he would consider going to my class! Woo hoo.

There was a moment today though standing outside of the Whole Foods the first 20 minutes when I felt very vulnerable and defeated. But then something inside me resolved that I’m not going to be shamed into leaving sooner than I originally planned just bc some people think they are better or think I offer zero value. I’m not there for them and I won’t be intimidated by their busyness or urgency or impatience. I reached probably 30 people. I can’t say I’ll return but never say never. 🙂 I’m sometimes a glutton for punishment after all.

Breaking Through

What can I say, this past week has been another grind. But holy crap, on the plus side, I am feeling the growth. I promised a recap of last Saturday, so first things first. Yeah, last Saturday was Easter weekend, and I started the day by tabling with a veteran (20+ years of experience) loan officer at BOA. I was awful at tabling. People would just kinda walk by as they headed to the teller line. Thankfully, my lender had a table full of swag and that brought some people over. I watched her engage them, asking questions about their current loan and rates and seeing if they were interested in refinancing. She was so great about introducing me as the branch realtor. I know, it’s strange to hear. Anyway, who the hell knew that bank branches could be so damn busy? I talked to the branch manager, and he gave me the lowdown: many of their clients are blue collar workers who don’t have direct deposit, so they come in with a pile of checks and then leave with cash, bc they are still cash-based in most of their transactions. The other interesting tidbit was that nearly everyone at the branch spoke Spanish, and it was cool to see a place providing customer service tailored to its clientele.

The branch manager was super friendly AND actually, he’s a warm lead: he’s moving to Texas in two months. It became super apparent that he was a researcher (he spent the last two years researching various cities throughout the country for his next stop), so we bonded over that. After I got home, I did all this research on good agents in San Antonio, reached out to one of them, and then made the intro. We’ll see if that pans out as a referral.

Later, my lender started working with a couple, and she brought me over and introduced me. The couple told stated that they are already working with an agent, but the lender continued to push me as a backup or in case if anything changes. I was super nervous though, bc I recently had a training at the realtors’ association and they always say it’s a huge no-no to engage with clients who are already taken. I mean, obviously, from the client’s perspective, if an agent can answer questions now, I suppose it’s helpful but you can’t be stealing clients. As a newb, I was especially uncomfortable about it and I think the awkwardness came across. Interestingly, I recently discovered that all lenders also have a real estate license, which is required as part of their lending license, so the lender helped me navigate some of the topics they were discussing. I was sooo nervous. Still, it was very helpful to see how the pros do things… you really can learn a ton just by watching.

In the afternoon, I had the open house at the swanky flip house in Almaden Valley. I got about 13 people through. I’m still nervous and uneasy when people ask me questions, so I need to work on that confidence… it’s ok if I don’t know the answer, but I just have to make sure I’m more assertive about finding the answer and getting back. J saw me interact with some of the people and said I’m getting more comfortable about it. For the most part, people are super cagey, but thank goodness for the ones who are open and friendly. It makes a world of difference. Shit man, sales is so fricking hard. This makes me re-think the next time I enter a retail store: I really should be nicer. Everyone’s trying to do a good job and earn a living, you know?

Out of Time

So that sales/prospecting class is now in full swing. Aside from the insane goal of 100 real estate conversations/week, we are tasked with a full list of homework. In class 2, which was last Wednesday, the coach made a point of clarifying: this is not a training class; this is an intense coaching program of transformation. What does that mean, you ask?

Let’s just say, everything is being tracked. Number of calls, number of hours spent on lead generation, daily habits, number of people met, etc. We created a weekly calendar down to half-hour chunks. I mean, I have done some pretty damn intense things in my life, and I have to say, this is way up there. I feel like I am working or thinking about work from sun up to sun down. For real. And then the program has us broken into teams and if you don’t meet your individual goals, the team suffers. So there’s that.

Every damn day, I am waking up feeling tremendous stress and pressure worrying about how I’m going to hit my goals. I seriously feel like I am in that Justin Timberlake movie In Time. Thankfully, I met the 20/day goal Th, Fri, and Saturday but holy crap, it takes major hustle.

On Thursday, I realized that manually dialing people from a list was going to take for freaking ever, so I got set up with a power dialer tool. Basically, it’s a software program that automatically dials a list of phone numbers. I know, don’t hate. But holy cow, that tool is wonderful bc it allows me to quickly hang up on bad numbers, leave a pre-recorded VM on answering machines, and it just keeps powering through the list without pausing. Some dialers can call up to three lines at once, so yeah, technology is fucking amazing.

The thing is, I’ve had the shittiest luck with the cold calls. I have not gotten any leads, and true, it’s probably bc I’m not very good at it. For example, on Friday, I called into my team captain for 8am script practice. He and a colleague demoed a call and dang, the captain is good. I mean, assuming he can extend the call beyond the first ten seconds… he is smooth and super natural and persuasive. It’s an interesting revelation bc listening to him on the call, my brain tells me he’s just naturally talented with the confidence and persuasion. It’s that authentic. But then after talking to him and hearing him explain how he practiced daily for months and months, I realize that his fluidity is learned behavior. Every little bit is studied and practiced to the point of becoming natural… I know practicing does wonders but shit, I am still impressed. So, back to the scripts!

In addition to the calls, I did a few other “reach” activities this week. For example, on Wednesday, I found a sweet house in Almaden Valley to possibly host open for Easter weekend. I saw that it wasn’t scheduled for an open house, so I reached out to the listing agent to ask if I could host. She didn’t get back to me via email, so then I texted her. She’s covered, she replies. But it still wasn’t on the calendar. Maybe they were just going to take a break this weekend, or maybe she was reluctant to have me host? I don’t know. But then on Friday afternoon, she reached out to me and asked if I was still interested. Yes! When I spoke with her on the phone to get the property rundown, she was surprised to learn I was a newbie. She said I came across very professional. Hee, hee!

After our call, I called up some lenders to see if any of them had leads for me (another reach), and an officer from BOA told me she was holding a Loan Day at the local branch on Saturday. She invited me to join. So just like that, at 5pm on Friday, I was booked to table at the BOA on Saturday morning and then host the open house in the afternoon. Yup, skateboarding class got canceled. I gotta hit them stats!

Friday night, I was up late prepping and fixing my signs, and Saturday was a looong ass day. I wasn’t very good at tabling, but the open house went pretty well. The house was a beauty, so that helped. More deets on Saturday later. Needless to say, I was wiped by the time I got home. Too much people interaction!! I spent most of today (Sunday) doing homework, and I had zero real estate conversations. Hitting the sack now to get up early and start the countdown again tomorrow. Ugggg.

Shark or Clam

Sorry for the long silence, I have been busting my ass. After my pity party last month, I resolved to do more and to do better. What does that mean, exactly?

For one thing, I signed up for a 7-week sales and prospecting class. Yeah, if you thought I was uncomfortable as fuck showing up at banks with popcorn gifts, attending random meetup groups, and reaching out to friends and acquaintances asking for referrals, that was just Level 1, my friends. For the class, we have to call people up (Yeah, who do you know who actually still uses the phone these days, right?) and do the drill/script. OMG, I was so freaking stressed about it. I stalled and stalled and finally only called Bubbey and a neighbor that first day. The goal for the class over the period of 7 weeks? 100 people PER WEEK. In other words, 20 new people PER DAY.

It’s an interesting predicament, bc that day, I experienced a total return of my previous social anxiety/paralysis from ages ago. It’s probably been over a decade since I made myself that sick with worry and stress over talking to people. After I got home from the first class, I cried and felt like shit. I rolled around in bed thinking, “I just don’t have it in me. I can’t do this. I don’t know how to speak the ‘language of sales’.” And then after a night of feeling completely paralyzed, I knew what I had to do.

This is the path I have chosen. This is part of the business. No matter how great I’ll be as an agent– managing the projects, keeping all parties in the loop, finding resources and studying the market, I will never get to that point if I don’t get clients. It all boils down to getting the clients.

I realized too that I was taking everything too damn seriously. I was hanging on every word, every pause, every statement. I didn’t like this or that or word choice… I mean, I can be pretty damn particular. But if I’m going to enroll in the class, I have to believe in their approach. I can have all my doubts and skepticism, but I have to at least try the exercises the way they are intended to be done. If I try and it doesn’t work, then I can do things my way, but I can’t be rejecting methods before even starting, you know?

It was really a moment where the rubber hit the road. I usually get so excited about learning new things, getting in on the trade secrets or whatever… I have always considered myself coachable, but am I really??? Hell, no. I was resisting like crazy. But I caught myself, and now I’m going to do something about it.

So now I’m trying to hit my numbers. I’m still incorporating a little bit of my style in doing things… for example, I am contacting people by email first and then following up with the call (that’s how I did my cold-calling work when I was at the fuel-cell company). I just like the idea of giving people some background/intro and heads up so at least they know who I am when I call. But shit, I’m going to follow the script and go from there.

At the trainings, my coach in the past has asked, “Are you a shark or a clam?” Clams get their food passively, by filter feeding. They sit there, hoping that food comes their way. On the other hand, sharks are bosses. They attack and take what they want. I am always amused by the analogies trainers use to motivate and inspire people. But heck, that shit worked on me. I’m a shark, goddamnit, and I’m going to start acting like one.