Category Archives: Getting Shit Done

Licensee!!!

Leave a reply

Holy shit, I passed my real estate salesperson exam this morning. It’s been a few hours since I got the actual paper indicating such (I checked several times that it was MY name on the thing!), but I’m still feeling like this a dream. Honestly, the last several weeks have been a blur. And having to deal with Tessa the last five days def did NOT help at all. That dog. Aside from her aggression and territorial issues that emerged despite two successful trials with daycare, she also required all kinds of supervision. Seriously, THE most challenging client ever. For example, she kept trying to eat Martin’s food; she would NOT stay off the furniture; she thrashed her dog pillow like a maniac; she got into bags, found cockroach traps… ANYthing on the floor; she was an awful, stubborn walker (she’d just cop a squat when she didn’t want to go in your direction); she got into the bathroom garbage like THREE times… the list goes on. Jesus Christ. I really wish some dog parents were more in-tune/transparent/honest about their dogs meeting basic behavioral standards. And heck, what kind of 8-y/o adult dog is so freaking incorrigible??? Supposedly, she had an extensive vocabulary… Whatever. At the end of the day, she still didn’t understand “No!” Needless to say, given these last two duds, I am taking a break from Rover. Yup, Bubbey called it for real: the good streak was bound to end and shit, Rover burned me good!

But whatever. On to bigger and better, now that I’ve passed the license exam, right? It’ll take the Bureau more paperwork and time to actually issue the legit license, but hell, I am just so relieved this part is over. My anxiety was getting out. of. control. Big time. Like I was thinking about how most people fear public speaking more than they fear death. Well, I fear test taking more than I fear public speaking (actually, I don’t mind public speaking so much anymore). Damn, I was popping Calms Forte like every day. And fuck, I studied super cray cray. Like used a gabillion books, plus webinars, plus study guides, a Saturday cram class, AND took over 1000 practice questions…

Thankfully, Bubbey saw how worked up I was getting over everything, so he stepped up big time, handling all the meals and groceries and household logistics. Then, he drove me to the exam site in Oakland this morning. Yup, like I’m Miss Daisy. It helped a ton though, bc that East Bay traffic would have taken my stress to a new level.

Now that the test is done, I’m actually really excited to find a brokerage AND start enrolling in all kinds of training/coaching programs. You know I eat that shit up! And of course, our trip to Seoul and Taiwan kicks off soon, so I’ll be able to chill out a bit, without stressing about re-taking the test. Whew! What a goddamn relief.

 

 

Two Days

Leave a reply

OMG, so much can happen in two days. J and I flew out on Sunday to Reno… yup, first time flying into that airport for a quick trip to Tahoe. Super easy flight. I just need it to be from SJC instead of OAK. Baby steps though. Besides that, J and I always think that we’re outsmarting people by hitting up destinations off-season, and then we show up and everything is fucking closed for construction or renovation or transition or whatever. I mean, the peace and quiet is awesome and definitely, no crowds, but man, all the historic sites and tours shut down at the end of September. So really, we just missed it by a few days.

Nonetheless, we had a great time taking in the landscape and hitting up historic homes. Even if we couldn’t go inside the lake estates, as they are called, the grounds by the lake were stunning. We kinda took things easy after settling in the first night. The temps got cold real fast though once the sun went down. And it started flurrying. Since it was the first snow of the season, people at Heavenly went bonkers. I was really hoping the precipitation would stop, but it didn’t. The next morning, the snow had actually stuck!

All in all, we had a fun little getaway… we were trying this new dog sitter and I wasn’t getting too many updates from her. When I checked our cams, no activity. She finally replied and said all was fine, she just conked out. Ok. Meanwhile, we ate gross food (Tahoe really needs to step up the food options) and then attended a magic show. There was a super cute magic theater venue right there in the village. J even got called up to the tiny stage. Haha. A pretty good show but dang, those magicians are super amped up!! His finale was killer, and then he also turned us on to a bunch of magic-theater venues throughout the country. Turns out there’s one in Martinez!! Yup, so now I have another 5 venues to add to the bucket list.

We returned home this evening and Marty looked well. He’s had great appetite and walked without issue. Then I find a note on the counter from the sitter: basically, our plumbing went out and both bathrooms plus the hallway (washer/dryer) flooded when she tried to wash his doggie towels. She was very apologetic like it was her fault (she couldn’t remember if maybe I had instructed her not to use the washer). Oh, no!! The water was all mopped up and then all the wet towels were in the tub. I’m glad she cleaned everything but um, why didn’t she contact me??? Something similar happened almost 4 years ago when I was home, but still, this is just one of those “shit happens” incidents. Anyway, thank god the plumber is coming tomorrow and yeah, I felt bad for the sitter’s inconvenience…

Just now, it’s 11pm and I receive a text from her saying that the plumbing issue made for a bad experience and she’s allergic to something in the house. She can’t sit Marty for Taiwan. UGH!!! That’s fine. I reply that I’m glad she watched him, he looks good, and sorry for the trouble. BUT it would have been nice for her to keep me posted so I could call the plumber right away!!!

So now, we’re back from our trip, I’ve got a huge pile of wet stuff and no shower. Hopefully, the plumber will bust the blockage tomorrow… But things are gonna be crazy from here on out. Tessa is coming tomorrow for five days. And I just got invited by one of the realtors I met  LinkAges to attend an all-day real estate event on Thursday. And my test is Tuesday. I’ve just reached out to two more potential sitters on Rover tonight. I’m meeting one tomorrow.

Fuck man, not having care for Marty is like one of the most stressful things ever. But shit happens. We’ll figure it out.

The Fine Print

Leave a reply

So update on a few things:

Walkersville house: Apparently, my agent and I had a misunderstanding about the cost of radon mitigation. I thought he estimated the costs as $400 for a passive system and $900 for an active system. Turns out though, what he meant was $400 to upgrade to an active system if there’s a passive system already installed… but there isn’t. So that’s fine. Radon is a legit environmental health concern, so we upped the buyer credit some more. The buyers accepted, and we’re onto the next step. Whew!

Companion Pass: Seeing as I was still short a flight, I booked that same day roundtrip to Burbank for $112. But the next day, I figured I would CYA once more and call Southwest to confirm that after this Burbank trip, I’m gonna get the pass for sure, right??? Well, I spent about 30 min on the phone with an agent and her manager: they both insisted that indeed Reno was the last flight I needed. Back and forth. They are unable to provide paperwork or email confirming this. To be honest, the problem seems to be inconsistent fine print posted to various places. Regardless, from what I read in the super detailed fine print, “bookings made before the promo period are ineligible.” So even though these people told me what I wanted to hear, I think they are wrong and I’m not taking any chances.

Rover: Very late on Thursday night (11:35p to be exact), I received a Rover request for the very next day. Given the last minute nature, I assumed this was urgent and dire. I accepted boarding for a 2.5-y/o American Eskimo. I looked through her profile and pretty much no care/vet instructions. The owner was super grateful and when I expressed concerns about age difference with Marty, she didn’t really reply. At worst, I figured I could just keep them separate. So the owner came by after work on Friday and she was in a hurry, so much so that she didn’t want to see the yard or the park. She also didn’t bring the dog’s food or bed. Just a leash/harness, a bone (“I’ll leave this and she hasn’t chewed up anything in a long time”), and a bag of treats. Um, ok. All is fine, Lemon (named after the citrus) is a sweet young pup. At bedtime, we go to sleep and she stays out in the living room. Ok, whatever. Sometimes dogs prefer to wait near the door. Then, in the middle of the night, I wake up to go to the kitchen and I see chewed up rubber nubbies all over the carpet (the door stop). Throughout the night, she comes in the bedroom and I wake up to let Lemon and Marty outside. It’s a restless night. By morning, John gets up and let’s them both out. Then, he goes out to get coffee. I try to sleep in. I hear some crying and then when I go into the living room, Lemon is on the sofa, sitting on top of my Lululemon jacket. As I get closer, I see that she has chewed off the bottom half of the zipper. I think she ingested some of the zipper teeth even. Ugh! WTF?!?! I email her owner saying I think she ingested but I think she’ll poop it out and be fine. Can take to vet if you want. No reply pretty much all day. Later, I notice too that Lemon has chewed through her harness. So now I’m kinda pissed. I mean, she IS young, and this is one of the reasons why I specify dogs over 10 y/o. But I dunno: without any additional instructions/warnings from her owner, I thought Lemon would be easy. It’s fine: not the end of the world. My local dry cleaner says $40 for a new zipper, and fortunately, the owner agreed to pay. But shit, this also gives me a new appreciation for owners who bring their own crates and all that other equipment for when their dogs are left unattended. I mean, in this case, I was home, but after discovering her penchant for chewing, the crate would have allowed me to leave the house at least. Next time, I need to still insist on a thorough screening process… no cutting corners.

What else. I have been studying my real estate for a few hours every day. I did great on Exam 1 – definitions. Awful on exam 2 – prelim. I find the questions so confusingly worded, to be honest. So today was discouraging, but I just have to keep plugging. We’re off to Tahoe and back this week. Hope Marty does ok with the new sitter and her little mutt Cricket.

Carpolepsy

Leave a reply

Bubs and I are back from a quick jaunt in Oregon. It’s been many years since we last visited: we had some friends who did the Hood to Coast race, so we’d hit up Astoria, Portland, and then the Eugene area. But this trip was focused less on the city and more on wine country! Yeah, I still don’t consider myself a foodie, but I like many of the things wine country offers: incredible scenery, deluxe outdoor chill space, ranch animals, stunning buildings and tasting rooms, and yummy snacks.

So first of all, Oregon is slow. I drove 45 mph on the interstate. No joke. Second, there sure are a lot of hipsters. I thought Portlandia was a hyperbole. Not so. That shit is spot. on. Lots of monster beards and very funky clothes. But people are nice and somehow not as snooty as the SF hipsters. Finally, shit is cheap. Yup, that part wins me over every. damn. time. So now, no more Paso Robles for our project idea but maybe Oregon wine country??? We’ll see.

We did a lot in a few short days. Sadly though, on our way to Mt. Hood, I got carsick, then popped a Dramamine, and then carpolepsy ensued. I missed so much of this gorgeous drive. I dunno whether the drowsiness was exacerbated by the Dramamine: I kinda feel like I have a history of getting ridiculously tired riding in cars. Like drugged-out tired. I was so frustrated to have missed everything that the first night after we got back to the hotel, I looked this shit up. I mean, I have a problem. Carpolepsy (ok, that’s a term in urban dictionary) aka highway hypnosis. It’s a form of motion sickness but not much explanation beyond that. Fucking A, man. In the mean time, I am getting back on the vitamins train, bc this no energy bullshit just cannot keep happening.

Another interesting surprise from the trip? J and are pinot drinkers, and we always felt like we enjoyed pinots from the Central Coast (Santa Barbara region) more than those from Williamette Valley in Oregon. But strangely, when we tasted the pinots on this trip, the wines were pretty good. Hmm, had our taste buds changed? Was there something with drinking them at the source? Perhaps the flavors actually differed winery to winery rather than just region to region? Not sure what happened. Bubbey says we ought to be careful about drawing conclusions based on very limited sample size. Ok, my data scientist. Regardless, the wines were a pleasant surprise. My preferences are now leaning towards old vine zinfandel, so I hear that Lodi, CA is the next wine region to hit!

Carpolepsy Pics

What else. J and I are getting along great. I’ve come to realize that being together for so long, we really have this unspoken understanding about so many things, for example, our style of travel, our preferences, our behaviors, and habits. It’s a really nice luxury to have someone just be able to anticipate things on your behalf. It’s hard to explain more specifically, but I feel lucky and grateful for my Bubbey.

Of course, after a few days of total chill, I awoke our final morning in Oregon all stressed. First off? I received an email from Southwest at 7am. You have completed 4 of 10 flights for the California companion pass promo. Say what? That cannot be right. Immediately, I popped out of bed bc this shit was a Code Red. Got on the phone with customer service. He went trip by trip. Goddamnit, the flight to Burbank (LA) for BlogHer didn’t count, bc I actually bought the tickets before the promo window. ARGH!!! I mean I had called earlier and the agent then said it counted, but fuck, both of our bads. I am already feeling over-traveled (I know, first world problems), and I thought I would be done after Tahoe. Nope. I need one more round-fucking-trip before Taiwan. Goddamnit. Thankfully, my smart friend M planted an idea that if anything, I can just do a quickie day trip flight down to LA and back. Like just grab lunch at the airport. And at this point, that’s what I’m going to do, bc there’s a lot of other shit going on…

The MD townhouse sale is still pending… The buyers had a home inspection and came back asking for more, for course. That resulted in yet another conflict between me and my agent. Stressful, bc I am not world-class emotionally intelligent like Bubs. Also, bc the closing date falls while we’re all in Taiwan, I’ve got to arrange power of attorney. Thank goodness, M is stepping up to the challenge. I just hope all the paperwork and shit gets done right bc there has already been a lot of back and forth with the title attorney. Whatever, it’ll get worked out.

In other news, I finally received the green light from the Bureau of Real Estate to take the exam. I’ve got it scheduled for Monday, Oct. 11. And I am having a lot of anxiety about it. I’ve always had anxiety about standardized tests… it goes way back to the SATs, ACTs, and GREs. I ultimately did fine on them (though I never scored as high as my parents wanted), but I get insomnia and tummy issues and numb hands just thinking about it. I keep trying to talk myself through: it’s not as dire as my body is reacting but shit, it just dredges up all the pressures and expectations from the past. Anyway, the plan is to take a 2-day crash course next weekend and then crank it out Tuesday morning in Oakland.

Needless to say, my brain was just preoccupied with all this crap and then when we returned the rental car, the rep suggested that we caused a dent by the gas cap. Are you fucking kidding me? Then I had to speak with the manager. I showed her my before photos, but I didn’t get a straight on shot of that area. I explained that when we arrived, there was a huge wait. We did go around the car with a dude, but the lighting in the garage was poor and the car had just been washed so the dent would have been difficult to see with all the reflections from the garage lighting. On top of that, later, John reminded me that when I had pointed out an indentation (but no superficial scratch) on the trunk to the check-out dude, he had specifically told us they were just looking for major things… The manager gave me her cell and said she would review the garage footage on their cameras and call me before the end of the day. She was very nice but I was just annoyed, like what kind of scam is this? It’s not like you’re going to repair that indentation so why would you charge me?

So we arrive at the gate, and I’m just overwhelmed. I reach for my ipad to get some writing therapy in, and holy fuck: I left my ipad in the rental car. Noooo!! There was this new console design in the car with an underneath platform for your purse/bag, and I set my iPad there bc I was using it for map navigation. OMG!!! So I called Robbie (the manager) and thankfully she went and got it. I then had to go back out to the rental car area (thank goodness it was onsite!!) and then back through security again. See? Totally frazzled.

In the end, all is fine. We got back and Marty is good. Weaker but good. No accidents. I’ll take the test in ten days. I’ll get the Companion Pass eventually. The house will sell one way or another. And vitamins are gonna give me that extra boost to power through the next several weeks (You know Taiwan ain’t gonna be a walk in the park!).

How About Law School?

Leave a reply

I called my dad this evening to catch up. The last time we’d spoke, he was having a personal pity party while also arguing with my mother, so needless to say, I was feeling pretty frustrated with both of them. About a week and a half have passed since, and thankfully, he is sounding better. I gave an update on the Walkersville townhouse (we’re trying to schedule closing for after I return from Taiwan…). He’s been watching some new Taiwanese programming online and then tending to the yard, running errands, tracking his stocks, etc.

My grandparents in Taiwan seem to be on the upswing again. Even though the original plan for my upcoming trip was to consider moving my maternal grandparents to a formal elder facility in Taipei, it now seems that that transition plan will be unlikely. My dad’s sisters insist the current situation with all three oldies living in one place is manageable, esp with the help of two live-in caretakers, so the status quo might just end up being the easiest thing. Plus, I got wind that my brother is not returning phone calls (what’s new) and to be honest, if he were the only relative leaving nearest my grandparents’ senior facility should they relocate to the campus in Taipei, that would be a fucking disaster, bc ultimately, Jgo is unreliable as fuck. Just sayin’.

Other news: dad is most likely going to just use his usual realtor for selling his primary residence. As it turns out, I probably had a mismatch with the Walkersville agent anyway, so just as well: dad will simply continue working with a known quantity who also happens to speak Chinese. Remember when we said his house was going to go on the market next year? Well I was thinking like April or May 2017. Nope, his agent is advising that they clear out the insides and list in February/March. Uh, good luck with that accelerated timeline. Clearly, she has no idea what she’s dealing with.

Meanwhile, after my bud N headed out to LA on Thursday, I met with a local practicing broker on Friday (part of my plan to start networking now…). We had a good meeting: I followed up with a thank you and a “yes, I’d love to attend some of your office’s upcoming trainings,” to which she invited me… During our meeting, I floated the internship/job shadow/assistant idea, but she said realty offices hire assistants for like 2-3 year chunks, so my best next move while awaiting my license is really to attend office trainings and meet the other colleagues. Ok, cool with me.

But damn, I am getting antsy as fuck about not bringing in some more dough. Yes, I have another Rover assignment coming up, but with our traveling, my schedule isn’t super conducive. Naturally, I started creeping around on the Craigslist job boards, and I was getting sucked into some personal assistant/travel planning gigs. J thinks they are a total waste of time and energy (I should be ramping up for real estate…), but I like planning and organizing, and I’m good at it… I guess we’ll go to Portland and then I’ll come back and re-assess. I just feel like I need some more side hustle. That was always my thing in college: I just did better when I had a busy schedule with a lot of side jobs.

But back to my call tonight with dad. Mom is undergoing a bunch of tests: biopsies and a CAT scan. A few weeks ago, doctors found a speck on her lung and ulcers in her esophagus. My dad doesn’t think it’s anything to worry about bc back in their day, the TB inoculations often caused scarring on the organs, but just to be sure, they are doing tests. The doctor is slated to review the results in mid October.

Mom and Dad had also recently stopped their daily walking routine, bc the weather back home was so blistering hot and muggy, but dad said they started walking again this week. Then, for whatever reason, I dropped my bomb: I told dad about my real estate plans. I wasn’t really nervous about it or anything. I just didn’t want to tell him earlier bc I didn’t want him harassing me about studying for the class and whatever.  Not surprisingly, he thought it was a good idea, and after I told them I’d already completed the three required classes and am awaiting the test date, he sounded even more thrilled.

Of course, that didn’t stop him from making the inevitable comment: “Did you look at other jobs?” Um, yeah I’d already looked at all the digital comm jobs and decided I didn’t want to continue in that line of work doing jobs in nonprofit. He then clarified what he was really asking, “Have you thought about law school?” And there it was AGAIN. Jesus fucking Christ. He has been mentioning law school since I was in engineering graduate school in 1998. Every damn time: No, I’m not interested in more schooling. Oh, it’s only two years. No, it’s THREE years. Plus, every lawyer I know HATES the job. EVERY damn one says it is their most expensive mistake.

It’s fine. I’m not angry or anything, but it’s just another example of where my parents sometimes just push their agenda without listening to what I’m telling them. I get it: he works with lawyers and the work doesn’t seem that hard and they make boatloads of money. But still, it’s not like I’m my friend J who like takes law classes for fun or reads about Supreme Court judgements for fun… Anyway, Dad did insert the whole, “You do what’s right for you” disclaimer at the end. And regardless, I think he is pleased that in the very least, real estate will be practical should J and I consider personal real estate investments in the future… Always pragmatic, right?

What else. Oh, I had a very pleasant discovery the other day. You know how I’ve been doing the whole Upromise thing? Well, I used it back in May for our VRBO Best Friends booking, and the way I read the cashback deal, I would just get $10 for the booking. Well, as it turns out, I got like 10% of my booking (~310) on top of the $10!! Woo hoo!! So far, I’ve earned over $1200 in just under two years with Upromise. Not too shabby!

Finally, an update on Marty care: After reaching out to like 8 sitters for mid October availability, I met with a sitter this morning who’s game for living on the Houseboat while we’re in Taiwan. She also appeared utterly unfazed by Martin’s fragile condition. So we’re going to try her out in early October for our two-day trip to Tahoe (my final Southwest flight before getting my prized Companion Pass!) and then see how that goes. He’s been doing pretty well but those back legs, man… Today, I saw glimpses of Remy’s decline. But we’re just going to plug along for as long as he’ll plug along. I hope he’ll be ok when we’re in Portland for a few days.

Turning it up

Leave a reply

As you know, I’ve been jumping back into the networking pool lately. Unfortunately, the real estate instructor never replied to my email. I’m a little disappointed but not entirely discouraged. Having done this whole process before, reaching out to strangers and trying to make their acquaintance, I know it’s largely a numbers/volume game. I have to just keep plugging. So I still tune in to the instructor’s weekly webinars and one of these days, I will introduce myself to him in person. 

Incidentally, John’s friend T also referred me to her brother who is a realtor. He also did not reply. I get it though. Sometimes people are weird about responding to strangers. I don’t take that shit personally anymore, bc I’m confident that my approach isn’t entitled or demanding.

Interestingly, my own agent D texted me out of the blue last week. We met up yesterday and had a really good catchup over a pedicure and then lunch. She is super open and generous in sharing her experiences as a realtor, so I gained a lot of insight. She also put me in touch with one of her colleagues who is a broker running two real estate offices and growing her team. The thing about D is, she presses forward all the time. I’m sure much of it comes from her background as a trainer and coach and motivator: people in that kind of role have to adopt a certain language and style that nudges people… Still, I’ve never been someone who requires a lot of nudging. Give me your advice and insights, but then I will take it from there. So for example, she was thrilled to introduce me to her two peeps. Right then and there, she called them up on the phone, told them about me, gave glowing reviews, and asked if she could share their contact info with me. They both agreed. So I’m thinking, cool. I’ll reach out to them in the next day. Well, D suggested I call or text them immediately “while the lead is warm” to set up a meeting.

Here’s the thing. I always prefer written over verbal. And when I receive a contact from someone, I have a basic template where I introduce myself, name the connection, and then describe where I am and what I am seeking… And I am a very deliberate writer in that, I like to proof everything so I’m careful with what I say and how I say it. So she’s like telling me to text and I explain that I’m emailing. Then, she’s like wow this email is taking so long, blah, blah. I just ignore her. Then she wants to be copied, which is fine. Long story short, I send off the email and we go to lunch. By the time we’re done with lunch, her friend replies with a meeting date/time. Then D reads my email and acknowledges that it’s good, but then she again pushes me to formalize the meeting immediately. I understand what she’s saying about the connection being warm and being top of mind. But it’s not so urgent that I have to meet the lady TOMORROW or schedule it immediately. I mean, the good thing about D is that she’s just trying to help in her own way. Most people do have shit follow-through, so action items are now or never. But with me, I’ll get it done. Don’t harass me about it, bc I don’t need your prodding. 

I’ve been running up against a similar scenario with Bubbey. Maybe bc he doesn’t have his engineering team or coworkers to boss around and direct, he’s like starting to manage me, and I don’t like it one bit. I was telling him my plan for reaching out to industry practitioners to attend trainings, meet other realtors, and assess fit. D was thinking that if I got along with her lady, maybe I could join that office and ramp up even while I was waiting to take the exam. Bubs was also really focused on sussing out openings with these brokers… 

The thing is, I first need to make sure I pass the test. Then, I’m simultaneously  reaching out and learning about the events and different offices where I can prepare for the test and network with realtors and trainers. I dunno. Maybe he’s just sharing his thoughts, but I often feel like he’s reiterating what I’m already planning to do but somehow he thinks my approach is different from what he’s suggesting. It’s not. It’s frustrating bc I’m fine with spousal influence, but that influence has to run both ways. And that hardly ever happens with his personal/professional development. He basically just shuts down anything I propose in terms of networking and talking to people for ideas on projects and interest areas.

Anyway, in other news, my friend N arrives tomorrow. I have outlined a rough list of things to do so we’ll finetune after she gets here. Rover has been busy too. I had a meet and greet yesterday for a terrier who is kinda feisty and potentially annoying. She’s coming over tomorrow for daycare, so we can better test compatibility for boarding in early October. Then, I have another meet and greet for a referral client (from my esthetician) on Sunday. 

Martin is kinda stressing me out. After the Paso Robles trip, J and I have decided that our only real option now is to have sitters stay in-home, bc Martin gets really confused in new environments now. I met a lady today who seemed good, but she can only do part of our Asia trip, and getting her exact dates of availability has been like pulling teeth. I mean, I need to know so I can cobble something together with another sitter! It’s stressful too just wondering if we’ll even need care for Asia if we put him down before then. Every day is different.

Ok, I’m pretty pooped now. Off to bed.

Winds of Change

Leave a reply

In my real estate books, there is a pair of words that comes up frequently in chapter quizzes and sample tests. Accretion is the gradual addition of land through natural causes. Its antonym is erosion, the gradual loss of land through natural causes. For some reason, with all the recent news of extreme weather, I’ve been thinking a lot about how quickly things can change. One minute, you’re moving one way along with the current, the next minute you’re tossed out of the fucking boat and completely disoriented. I guess that saying is pretty true: the only constant in life is change.

So a lot has happened lately. Mostly good news. Last month, after my friend M totally rocked her job application, Skype interview (while we were in Palm Desert), and onsite job interview, she scored a sweet offer for a higher position at a different public agency. Yup, after 11 years, she’s moving on. Up and up you go, my friend!

My other friend K recently got engaged and this unlocks the next phases of adulting for her. She and the beau are thrilled. I know, that only means more friends with kids in the pipeline for us (ugh). What can you do: the heart wants what the heart wants. JK. Haha! Meanwhile, my friend N recently sold her house, left a job, started a new job, and is now thinking about moving out of state after more than a decade in North Carolina. She’s coming to visit in two weeks and I’m super excited (and have a hefty list already planned out, of course).

Even when all the changes are good changes, for me it really reminds me of the importance of adaptability. Adaptability provides the backbone to progress. After I took the real estate exam prep workshop last Saturday, I realized that many of my steps in transitioning to real estate were sub-optimal. Bc of my fears and reluctance about returning to an academic setting (albeit short termed), I picked the more isolating self study route with online real estate classes, and I took the courses in series rather than concurrently. Also, I def obsessed about grasping the material sufficiently before taking the class exams whereas other people studied way smarter, meaning they understood they needed to just jump through the hoops and focus on getting to the next stage. It really wasn’t about understanding the content but just getting to the next phase. I mean, it’s fine: what’s done is done and I suppose I can view the slower route as a good way of training up my brain to memorize info again, something it really hasn’t done in a very long while.

Still, I was pretty down on myself for a few days. At the end of August, I had submitted my application for the exam date, Again, I just followed the very next incremental step based on info from the Bureau of Real Estate (BRE) website, but after I attended the exam prep workshop, I learned that I was actually supposed to apply for BOTH the exam date plus license issuance at the same time. Ugh, I picked the slower track once again!!! I’m hoping that the BRE will pick up their pace at the end of summer and hopefully cut the wait for both my exam date and the later step of obtaining the license, but we’ll see. I’m frustrated that I’ve kinda been “doing it all wrong,” but I suppose it’s also not the end of the world. As Bubbey has pointed out, there’s still a lot I can do during the waiting game, open houses, learning the neighborhoods, studying the area trends, etc.

I will say, in a minor attempt to recover from all my procedural mistakes, I emailed the instructor on Friday seeking his advice on how best to use the downtime from now until the exam date and license issuance. I asked him about internships and opportunities. I’m going to reach out to a few other real estate people I know to inquire the same things. I know, sometimes it’s downright awkward to ask for assistance, esp from people you barely know. But these are strategies I was taught during my time at the job training center: you have to put yourself out there. And to be fair, there IS a way to ask without sounding entitled. I truly believe that. And on the flip side, whenever a stranger reaches out to me for job advice, I happily oblige and pay it forward… So anyway, here we are. We’ll see how he/they respond.

 

Goodbye August

Leave a reply

Monday was the one year anniversary of M’s passing. J and I went up to SF to visit S. She was meeting up with some people at the neighborhood bar, so selfishly, I was dreading a repeat of the 5-hr. drinking session with hoards of people… Luckily, the bar was super quiet with only about five people at our table. We chatted for a bit. M’s best friend scrolled through some pictures and reminisced. I honestly can’t believe it’s been a year. Time just keeps speeding on by.

S appeared well. Like I’ve said before, it’s nearly impossible to really know. Even in rare vulnerable moments, she’s incredibly composed. I often wonder where she derives this strength… so many times I see compassion, forgiveness, and gratitude in her where others might instead display anger, blame, and resentment.

She took the day off and went for a hike with some friends. After about 40 minutes at the bar, J and I headed back to her apartment. She’s redecorating again with fresh paint, new curtains, new outdoor loungers, a cool new coffee table. Like her sisters, she has a real knack for interior decorating. She also recently got a new car, swapping her super old SUV for a very adorable Cooper Mini convertible. That backseat is hella small, but what a fun and energetic ride! Her work is going very well. She continues to move up and travel a ton. I can’t believe the holiday shopping season is upon us again…

S’s life sounds really busy. I wonder how she has so much energy and positivity? Isn’t she tired? What can I learn from her to apply to my life, you know? I’m in a bit of a funk bc I feel like I’m less useful these days, esp since I’m no longer a part of a team or workplace. That said, I don’t miss the office politics and the whole autopilot of doing unimportant crap. I dunno, just need to get that license and get cranking.

My parents just got back from a six-day jaunt in the mountains via a Chinese-run tour bus service. Their itinerary started in Denver, CO and went through WY, SD, ID, and UT. Dad recruited his best friend and his wife from Ohio, so hopefully the four of them had a blast. Meanwhile, I did succeed in getting that pest control guy to credit dad the $70 charge. It took a few calls and texts, but I remained calm and basically reiterated that if traps were removed last July 2015 and no additional work/visits were done since, it really didn’t feel right to be charged for no services rendered. Another small victory for OnStar.

As for my real estate agent, things are kinda weird now. Somehow bumping heads over the August offer just didn’t sit well with either of us. I was also disappointed to discover last week that the house wasn’t posted on various platforms where it was supposed to appear. Back in July when the house was first listed, I’d received automated email/text notifications saying that the house was posted/advertised to several social media platforms. Then, when I checked FB, Twitter, Craigslist, etc. last week, I didn’t see it. WTF, people?!? The point of a project management system is to remind you to complete the tasks, not just check the box without actually doing the work! So I worked with the admin to make sure the house was posted at least on CL. But even after all that, the third open house last weekend yielded only one couple. I suppose that jives with what the experts say: open houses aren’t that helpful anymore bc most buyers do all their research online. Still, it’s hard for me to totally adopt that philosophy when our townhome in Reston sold via open house as did my grandmother’s house in Rockville. Different locales, different audiences maybe.

That’s the other thing: Walkersville seems like a whole other world. Based on my newbie research, there are like a disproportionate number of foreclosures in Walkersville. Argh! I guess the good news is that the open house couple is interested. They are in the process of getting qualified, so we’ll see if they submit an offer. Last week the previously interested couple came back (about 3 weeks later) with basically a repeat of their old offer. I thought that was odd, so I countered with my old offer thinking they were re-starting negotiations. I guess I should have gone back giving up more, but my agent didn’t provide any commentary, so my bad. We’ll see how things go the next few weeks. I dunno. It’s awkward not being on the same page. Live and learn, I guess.

Conflict Management

Leave a reply

I have to say, one of the most challenging things about adulting is conflict management. Sure, I’ve had a lot of experience growing up with my crazy Chinese family, dealing with their steady stream of unsolicited radical honesty, but I dunno, conflict with family is always different (at least for me) from conflict with the world.

I mean, it’s no secret that I have a temper.My mother always explained that she was super stressed and unhappy during her pregnancy with me, so Vicky the fetus got bombarded with negative hormones and juices. Yep, I practically bathed in that shit. In my father’s younger years, he also had a really short fuse… So I guess you could just blame genetics.

Needless to say, my family has always triggered the worst behavior in me, with well, what I would describe as fits of rage. In the working world though, I always managed to keep my temper in check. It probably helped that the triggers were less inflammatory and the issues were less personal. Still, no matter how often conflict has found me, it still makes me uncomfortable and nervous and uneasy. I may appear outwardly calm about it, but inside, it’s just eating away at me. Curse of the overthinking mind, right?

So yesterday, I had another restless night. First, I kept hearing noises and I just felt somewhat fearful and quasi-unsafe. Like mentally, I was freaking myself out about an intruder or whatever. Then I was stressing again about my real estate class and how I’m behind schedule and how am I gonna get this shit done and how am I gonna be an agent. Fucking self doubt.

This morning, my realtor called at 8:30a. I immediately rolled out of bed and answered the phone trying to sound like I’d already been up and running for hours (!!). He basically called to revisit our last conversation. For 15 minutes, he urged me again to drop the price more and re-engage the last interested party. Back and forth, we went. I talked about new properties in the neighborhood that just got listed (they’re listed even higher), the open house scheduled for Sunday, how my grandmother’s house sold for asking after sitting on the market for months… He just kept saying I should trust his expertise, and a deal shouldn’t fall through over $2k. The whole time I was reluctant but finally, I agreed to an “attempt to re-engage.”

After I got off the phone, I kept replaying that shit in my head. Why is he in such a rush? Why do I feel bullied? Later in the morning, I talked to Bubbey. He said it wasn’t about trust or questioning the agent’s expertise. It’s a disagreement on the market value. The agent says one thing. I say another. But J reiterated that the agent is my representative. He can argue his case, but ultimately, it is MY decision. And that’s where I need to assert my position more strongly. Bubbey, man: world-class EQ, I tell you. His point was good one, and I think part of all this stress is that the conflict and style of exchange has been bothering me since last week… But J was right. It’s not an emotional thing. I put in money for the renovation. I’ve been managing this property for years and in the end, I want top dollar for it. End of discussion. Whew. Are you feeling my growing anxiety over here? The good thing about me? I do what has to be done. I will have the conversation or discussion that no one wants to have (e.g. Eating disorder intervention, alcoholism intervention, what have you).

So I emailed my agent. Yes, a call probably would have been better but it’s past 5p over there and I’m better in written form. So I stated my position more strongly and now, the ball is back in the agent’s court. Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, my dad called this afternoon bc he got into some feud with the pest control company. Long story short, last summer, there was a squirrel problem at the townhouse, so dad signed up for pest service. I guess the seasonal plan auto-renews, which he didn’t know bc he didn’t read the fine print on the back of the contract. So this July kicked off the new season and dad got a bill. He called the corporate office. Then the local office. Then, the local manager. They argued back and forth for 20 minutes, and my dad claims the guy said “fuck you” a bunch of times and then hung up. So who gets called in to resolve this issue? OnStar of course. Ugh.

So I call the guy. He’s hard to understand bc he mutters, his voice is low, and he’s in the car. He explains and says the charge was for take down service after the new season started and my dad called to discontinue service. So I just say that I want a copy of the work order and tech invoice to see what was done. Then I say, yes, the auto renewal was on the contract but no one fucking reads a contract esp when the vendor is standing there in front of you waiting on your signature. They should really give people a heads up like hey, the new season is starting next month and you are on track to auto-renew… Anyway, he agrees to send me the work order files after he gets home.

And then, I call him out on being rude to my dad. Fuck yeah, I did. I just said, I know sometimes it’s hard to communicate with someone whose native language isn’t English but there’s no need to be rude and unprofessional. Then he explained that he’s Hispanic (doh!!) and he doesn’t have issues with different cultures but my dad kept cutting him off and wouldn’t let him talk, so after 20 minutes, he said he had to go. Fair enough. I mean, my mother is NOTORIOUS for cutting people off. My father not so much, but if he thinks you are ripping him off, he can get argumentative. As for the cussing, was the dude saying “stop” or “fuck.” I don’t know. I apologized for dad cutting him off and please send me the work order. At most, not a huge deal. Dad would be out $70. I mean, some people might just pay the $70 to be done with this bullshit, but you know, part of it is the principle of it. Auto renewals are always super sketchy and I mean, if you’re yelling and/or cussing at my dad, that’s not cool either. So it got worked out, but that kind of interaction is fucking stressful as hell. So now I’m totally drained.

Time to pet my doggies and then try to salvage the day with some studying. Quickie trip to Palm Springs kicks off tomorrow (I had Southwest credits to burn!). Woot, woot!

Squalor

Leave a reply

Martin’s been doing pretty well these last few months. I swear, the presence of my Rover pups– even if they don’t interact that much with Martin during their stay– works some kind of magic on him. That said, with him being as old as he is, magic only carries us so far. Yep, things are definitely starting to break down with poor old Marty. In recent weeks, I’ve noticed that he is SUPER slow getting himself situated in his bed. He twirls and twirls and then finally just flops over. In his sleep, he’s been wetting his bed a few times a week. During the day, his back end falls down at the slightest bump or touch. When he stands to eat from his elevated bowl, his front and hind legs slide all around beneath him.

Cognitively, he’s slowed down a lot. But damn, he still gets so excited and happy to go for our walks. Sadly, he has trouble controlling his bladder: there’s like a continuous stream of urine on the sidewalk from our house to the park.

The morning of our flight to LA, he shit in the house for the first time since like the early 2000s!! Yeah. I woke up all bleary-eyed that morning and walked into the kitchen. John was already up, watching tv. I looked at him, and he said, “Well, that happened last night…”, and he pointed to a drippy pile of shit on the green mat next to the front door. Mind you, at this point, Bubs had already been up for hours. No matter. He just left the poop there. Nice.

That’s the thing about Bubs. He’s a total wuss when it comes to bodily fluids and anything remotely related to black water. Every damn time, his defense is that he leaves that shit to the “solid waste expert.” Um, I haven’t been a solid waste engineer since 2001, dude. Sigh. What can you do: that’s my Bubbey.

Remember that time when I was home alone and both bathrooms flooded? Yeah, when I told Bubs what had happened, he was so relieved to have NOT been home. Had our roles been reversed, he would have just left the premises and posted the house for sale. I know, thank goodness we don’t have kids, right? Can you imagine? They would just be hanging out in their diapers chock full of urine and feces. I’d be horrible in my own way too: I mean, you know I would be overstretching the use of each and every one of those plastic, super-lined fuckers. Diapers are THE worst: they remain fully intact and last FORever in the landfills. Just sayin’.

So anyway, while we’re on the topic of bodily fluids… this other time? Martin puked on the carpet. Bubbey’s solution? He ripped off a few sheets of paper towels, folded them over into a square, and then patted the squares right on top of the puke. Just covered it up with a paper towel and continued about his day. I removed the paper towels today, thinking it was just a random cleaning square that the wind blew onto the floor. Nope. Puke stains underneath. Are you disgusted yet by our squalid conditions?

Anyhow, now that Bubs is back East for a few days, I’m taking the opportunity to do some more cleaning. Today I actually replaced all the floor runners in the house. The other day, we came across some cheap runners at Costco, so today I came home with like five of them. Not a very chic look for the designer Houseboat, but at this point, with Messy Marty and Queasy Bubbey, we just need something practical and cleanable. The grip on these new runners is amazing btw. Vacuuming was a total breeze!