Category Archives: Friends

Carpolepsy

Bubs and I are back from a quick jaunt in Oregon. It’s been many years since we last visited: we had some friends who did the Hood to Coast race, so we’d hit up Astoria, Portland, and then the Eugene area. But this trip was focused less on the city and more on wine country! Yeah, I still don’t consider myself a foodie, but I like many of the things wine country offers: incredible scenery, deluxe outdoor chill space, ranch animals, stunning buildings and tasting rooms, and yummy snacks.

So first of all, Oregon is slow. I drove 45 mph on the interstate. No joke. Second, there sure are a lot of hipsters. I thought Portlandia was a hyperbole. Not so. That shit is spot. on. Lots of monster beards and very funky clothes. But people are nice and somehow not as snooty as the SF hipsters. Finally, shit is cheap. Yup, that part wins me over every. damn. time. So now, no more Paso Robles for our project idea but maybe Oregon wine country??? We’ll see.

We did a lot in a few short days. Sadly though, on our way to Mt. Hood, I got carsick, then popped a Dramamine, and then carpolepsy ensued. I missed so much of this gorgeous drive. I dunno whether the drowsiness was exacerbated by the Dramamine: I kinda feel like I have a history of getting ridiculously tired riding in cars. Like drugged-out tired. I was so frustrated to have missed everything that the first night after we got back to the hotel, I looked this shit up. I mean, I have a problem. Carpolepsy (ok, that’s a term in urban dictionary) aka highway hypnosis. It’s a form of motion sickness but not much explanation beyond that. Fucking A, man. In the mean time, I am getting back on the vitamins train, bc this no energy bullshit just cannot keep happening.

Another interesting surprise from the trip? J and are pinot drinkers, and we always felt like we enjoyed pinots from the Central Coast (Santa Barbara region) more than those from Williamette Valley in Oregon. But strangely, when we tasted the pinots on this trip, the wines were pretty good. Hmm, had our taste buds changed? Was there something with drinking them at the source? Perhaps the flavors actually differed winery to winery rather than just region to region? Not sure what happened. Bubbey says we ought to be careful about drawing conclusions based on very limited sample size. Ok, my data scientist. Regardless, the wines were a pleasant surprise. My preferences are now leaning towards old vine zinfandel, so I hear that Lodi, CA is the next wine region to hit![FAG id=7483]

What else. J and I are getting along great. I’ve come to realize that being together for so long, we really have this unspoken understanding about so many things, for example, our style of travel, our preferences, our behaviors, and habits. It’s a really nice luxury to have someone just be able to anticipate things on your behalf. It’s hard to explain more specifically, but I feel lucky and grateful for my Bubbey.

Of course, after a few days of total chill, I awoke our final morning in Oregon all stressed. First off? I received an email from Southwest at 7am. You have completed 4 of 10 flights for the California companion pass promo. Say what? That cannot be right. Immediately, I popped out of bed bc this shit was a Code Red. Got on the phone with customer service. He went trip by trip. Goddamnit, the flight to Burbank (LA) for BlogHer didn’t count, bc I actually bought the tickets before the promo window. ARGH!!! I mean I had called earlier and the agent then said it counted, but fuck, both of our bads. I am already feeling over-traveled (I know, first world problems), and I thought I would be done after Tahoe. Nope. I need one more round-fucking-trip before Taiwan. Goddamnit. Thankfully, my smart friend M planted an idea that if anything, I can just do a quickie day trip flight down to LA and back. Like just grab lunch at the airport. And at this point, that’s what I’m going to do, bc there’s a lot of other shit going on…

The MD townhouse sale is still pending… The buyers had a home inspection and came back asking for more, for course. That resulted in yet another conflict between me and my agent. Stressful, bc I am not world-class emotionally intelligent like Bubs. Also, bc the closing date falls while we’re all in Taiwan, I’ve got to arrange power of attorney. Thank goodness, M is stepping up to the challenge. I just hope all the paperwork and shit gets done right bc there has already been a lot of back and forth with the title attorney. Whatever, it’ll get worked out.

In other news, I finally received the green light from the Bureau of Real Estate to take the exam. I’ve got it scheduled for Monday, Oct. 11. And I am having a lot of anxiety about it. I’ve always had anxiety about standardized tests… it goes way back to the SATs, ACTs, and GREs. I ultimately did fine on them (though I never scored as high as my parents wanted), but I get insomnia and tummy issues and numb hands just thinking about it. I keep trying to talk myself through: it’s not as dire as my body is reacting but shit, it just dredges up all the pressures and expectations from the past. Anyway, the plan is to take a 2-day crash course next weekend and then crank it out Tuesday morning in Oakland.

Needless to say, my brain was just preoccupied with all this crap and then when we returned the rental car, the rep suggested that we caused a dent by the gas cap. Are you fucking kidding me? Then I had to speak with the manager. I showed her my before photos, but I didn’t get a straight on shot of that area. I explained that when we arrived, there was a huge wait. We did go around the car with a dude, but the lighting in the garage was poor and the car had just been washed so the dent would have been difficult to see with all the reflections from the garage lighting. On top of that, later, John reminded me that when I had pointed out an indentation (but no superficial scratch) on the trunk to the check-out dude, he had specifically told us they were just looking for major things… The manager gave me her cell and said she would review the garage footage on their cameras and call me before the end of the day. She was very nice but I was just annoyed, like what kind of scam is this? It’s not like you’re going to repair that indentation so why would you charge me?

So we arrive at the gate, and I’m just overwhelmed. I reach for my ipad to get some writing therapy in, and holy fuck: I left my ipad in the rental car. Noooo!! There was this new console design in the car with an underneath platform for your purse/bag, and I set my iPad there bc I was using it for map navigation. OMG!!! So I called Robbie (the manager) and thankfully she went and got it. I then had to go back out to the rental car area (thank goodness it was onsite!!) and then back through security again. See? Totally frazzled.

In the end, all is fine. We got back and Marty is good. Weaker but good. No accidents. I’ll take the test in ten days. I’ll get the Companion Pass eventually. The house will sell one way or another. And vitamins are gonna give me that extra boost to power through the next several weeks (You know Taiwan ain’t gonna be a walk in the park!).

Real People

My friends sometimes make fun of me, bc every now and then, I kinda get attached to celebrities I follow on tv shows and on social media. Like J always talks about back in the day when I was obsessed with the show Felicity. Many of the characters irked the shit out of me with their crappy decision-making, but in some odd way, they kinda felt like my friends. As soon as that show ended, I can honestly say, I was heartbroken, and I missed the characters.

Now, as a legit adult, I def have more distance and separation with tv people/characters, but despite all the comments from J and my friends reminding me that everything I watch/follow is fake or staged or scripted, I still reserve final judgement for myself. Sure, I get it: there are gurus I follow for style, makeup, fashion, home ideas… Flippant content. I understand that nearly all of their posts are, you know, heavily post-processed and perhaps selected by a team member or whatever, and strongly intended to push product. After all, marketing is marketing. But still, even among those people who recommend products for compensation (and really, what is wrong with that?), I still believe these individuals are real and authentic. In other words, I appreciate their craft and their profession. Maybe it encourages consumerism or whatever, but when I read their blog posts, I often discover that they are real people with similar fears and worries and concerns.

Some examples? I follow Emily Henderson and Gal Meets Glam. I enjoy the beautiful pictures of beautiful places and beautiful things. But as much as people want to dismiss these women for doing work that’s superficial or meaningless or shallow, is there anything wrong with having a passion that is simply creating beautiful things vs. say, helping refugees or empowering the disenfranchised? Sure, there is a palpable difference in terms of gravity of work but at the same time, not everyone is cut out for emotionally taxing work. And ultimately, isn’t the bigger concept really about happy people showing others what is possible for this life, however each one of us chooses to live it? I also argue that even if people value the work of these bloggers differently, that doesn’t mean they are vacuous people. So many bloggers I read share stories about their professional path or their personal journeys. They adopt the abundance mentality and encourage others to take risks to try new things. They are open and supportive. They share their big life decisions, and I am reminded that I am not alone in my struggles to figure things out. 

A few days ago, I read this post by stylist Emily Henderson about her marriage. Initially, I thought it was going to be some sappy, cheesy love story, blah, blah. But as I read on, the post was more about their struggles and growth together… there was something so raw and real about it. It’s so easy to look at her gorgeous social media pictures and to think that everything is seamless or flawless. But she keeps it real about how relationships go up and down, get hot then cold, and for so many of us, depression is a debilitating hindrance. After reading their story, I felt encouraged and supported. Yes, with social media, we often try to showcase our best lives almost exclusively, but is that really any different from when we go on that first date or have that job interview or attend a friend’s bday party? There is a time and a place for the things that weigh us down. The curation doesn’t mean what we project is fake. It means we select when we want to emphasize the good and when we want to confront the bad.

When I was in college, I remember going to the campus coffee house for an open mic night. My brother was a regular performer there and that day, he read something he wrote about our family. It included dialog of me and my parents. We came across whiny and unsupportive. Immediately, I started crying. How could he expose our dirty laundry to strangers? These people don’t even know us! He couldn’t even understand why I was so upset, but I felt embarrassed. How far I have come since then, right? 

With my previous (anonymous) blog, I wrote often about my parents, my brother (oh, the irony!), and my marriage. I remember a childhood friend who followed the blog was so shocked by the exposure: she said it was so personal; she would never feel comfortable revealing so much. And I’m sure if my parents read these things, they would be equally horrified. But ultimately, this is the human experience and frankly, why should we be surprised? Don’t we all know that people have conflicts with their families and friends and coworkers and whatever? Who are we really trying to fool or protect by sharing only the good stuff?

I know Emily Henderson is not my friend. We don’t know each other. We’ve never met. Still, her post resonated with me, bc it reminded me that we all have our issues. We are all trying to figure things out. Like her husband, I’m so proud of J and his professional success. But I feel immensely sad and sorry for myself, bc I have not yet hit my career stride. Like Emily’s spouse, I am still trying and still reaching, hoping that one day things will be different.

Dora the Explorer

So I’ve been off for the past week, bc my friend N rolled into town (visiting from North Carolina). We had a really great visit, but man, we were on the move a ton! Yes, in typical VG fashion, I gave her an entire list of ideas well in advance of her arrival and then once she landed, there was more planning. I know, for you spontaneous folks out there, I do need to relax sometimes, but frankly, as an ESTJer, there are few things worse than asking a group of people what they want to do and getting “I’ll do whatever. I’m easy” as the response. Bc I loathe that so damn much, I always have some kind of schedule in my back pocket just in case.

The great thing about N is that she, in her own words, possesses a kind of child-like wonder, so she’s super game for adventure. From a very young age, she loved travel and exploration. I think she gets it from her mom, although her father too had a very curious mind. Like all of us, N has many ideas and visions of what she wants to do and who she wants to be, but for one reason or another, she’s too often limited by constraints… you know what I mean. We all have big dreams, and then we come up against some wall… be it a wall that others have built for us or a wall we have built for ourselves or some other hindrance that I suppose could fall under the category of “life circumstances.”

But I’m super impressed and inspired by N. No matter the challenges, she trudges forward. She has fallen down a shit ton and she continues to have major setbacks, but she always gets back up. And really, if you think about it, so long as any of us choose life over death, there are only SO many options in continuing on.

I was saddened by her latest setback, but at the same time, I also observed considerable progress in so many other areas: with her finances, with nervous ticks/habits, with smoking. She is fighting battles on so many fronts, but she remains brave and she continues to forge a path forward, examining other options and possibilities and offshoots, like from her current career. She also talked of moving out west, either to Colorado or California, and I can see that she’s formulating plans to make those things happen. I’m so happy to see the fire burning in her heart again.

As for our week of adventure, we did a lot. And lucky for her, between Bubbey and me, she had a good balanced mix of serious and direct and fun and light. On some days, I got a little annoyed with the amount of car time and travel and hassle (city parking, hitting up crowded touristy spots, etc.), but then I checked myself. Things worth doing take time and work and hassle. That’s just how it goes. And thank goodness we did so many things she wanted to do, bc in the process, I discovered some amazing new experiences.

For example, months ago, N texted me asking about Forbes Island restaurant. I was like, what is this place, some cheesy artificial “island” randomly planted by the pier? You take a little ferry from the dock to the “island.” And then, god, a fixed menu. And it’s pricey? WTF is this tourist trap? But N read up on it and was so excited (She has a thing for lighthouses) about it, so I booked the reservations. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting much. But then we went. And it was lovely. Delightful. And the food and service were superb. So, credit where credit it due!

Same thing with a day trip to Napa. I was dreading the car travel and the hoyty toyty wine tastings and then the traffic coming back. Yes, Debbie Downer is super prone to car sickness and then I get cranky. Although, I kept it mostly under wraps. Well, it turned out to be a beautiful day, and we hit up some old places like Artesa and Domaine Carneros (always scenic) as well as some new places, like Jamieson Ranch and Castello di Amorosa. I was giving major pushback about the latter, bc a frickin’ castle in Calistoga?!? Again, eye roll, right? I mean, I was envisioning some kind of Disney-like ridiculousness. And I really wanted to go home and not drive the extra 35 min to the goddamn castle. But Bubbey argued that we were “already in the area”… so fine. Well, my bad again. The castle was pretty fricking cool. Yup, I stand corrected.

Other things we did included a day trip to Santa Cruz then hitting up Bonny Doon winery (we even joined their club!) and driving north through Pescadero to stop at Harley Farms. We introduced N to Burmese food (tea leaf salad!!), and I took her to the Chinese foot spa, which she loved. We did karaoke, saw the movie Snowden (well done), and enjoyed German fare at the local cafe/bakery. She also reached out to a friend’s sis who moved out here three years ago from Wilmington. The lady is a mechanic who now lives on a houseboat in Redwood City. She and her boyfriend were super gracious and took us out on the water on their sailboat… which I have never ever done before. So all in all, we had a very full week and we had fun. And N was super happy and grateful and acknowledging. Seriously, she is quite keen and I think she knew I was being resistant at times, but she was so sweet in thanking us for everything. She’s so good about verbalizing her gratitude. That’s something I really should emulate.

So this morning, I dropped her off in San Jose. She took the MegaBus to Burbank, where she’ll be staying a few days with some family friends. Bubs and I are aiming to get back on our routine. I need to hit the gym, and then tomorrow I’m meeting with my realtor’s friend, who is a real estate broker in Cupertino. Then, on Sunday, we’re off to Portland for a few days. I’m trying a new live-in sitter for Marty. We’ll see how that pans out.

Speaking of Marty, N gave him a promising prognosis. She said that he is doing remarkable given his age: he displays strong appetite, no vomiting, regular stool, and he still gets excited for walks and treats… She suggested a few things, like trying to put some weight on him, vitamin E to help with the arthritic inflammation, and moving his legs to exercise the muscles more… other than that, she’s amazed! Yay![FAG id=7478]

Turning it up

As you know, I’ve been jumping back into the networking pool lately. Unfortunately, the real estate instructor never replied to my email. I’m a little disappointed but not entirely discouraged. Having done this whole process before, reaching out to strangers and trying to make their acquaintance, I know it’s largely a numbers/volume game. I have to just keep plugging. So I still tune in to the instructor’s weekly webinars and one of these days, I will introduce myself to him in person. 

Incidentally, John’s friend T also referred me to her brother who is a realtor. He also did not reply. I get it though. Sometimes people are weird about responding to strangers. I don’t take that shit personally anymore, bc I’m confident that my approach isn’t entitled or demanding.

Interestingly, my own agent D texted me out of the blue last week. We met up yesterday and had a really good catchup over a pedicure and then lunch. She is super open and generous in sharing her experiences as a realtor, so I gained a lot of insight. She also put me in touch with one of her colleagues who is a broker running two real estate offices and growing her team. The thing about D is, she presses forward all the time. I’m sure much of it comes from her background as a trainer and coach and motivator: people in that kind of role have to adopt a certain language and style that nudges people… Still, I’ve never been someone who requires a lot of nudging. Give me your advice and insights, but then I will take it from there. So for example, she was thrilled to introduce me to her two peeps. Right then and there, she called them up on the phone, told them about me, gave glowing reviews, and asked if she could share their contact info with me. They both agreed. So I’m thinking, cool. I’ll reach out to them in the next day. Well, D suggested I call or text them immediately “while the lead is warm” to set up a meeting.

Here’s the thing. I always prefer written over verbal. And when I receive a contact from someone, I have a basic template where I introduce myself, name the connection, and then describe where I am and what I am seeking… And I am a very deliberate writer in that, I like to proof everything so I’m careful with what I say and how I say it. So she’s like telling me to text and I explain that I’m emailing. Then, she’s like wow this email is taking so long, blah, blah. I just ignore her. Then she wants to be copied, which is fine. Long story short, I send off the email and we go to lunch. By the time we’re done with lunch, her friend replies with a meeting date/time. Then D reads my email and acknowledges that it’s good, but then she again pushes me to formalize the meeting immediately. I understand what she’s saying about the connection being warm and being top of mind. But it’s not so urgent that I have to meet the lady TOMORROW or schedule it immediately. I mean, the good thing about D is that she’s just trying to help in her own way. Most people do have shit follow-through, so action items are now or never. But with me, I’ll get it done. Don’t harass me about it, bc I don’t need your prodding. 

I’ve been running up against a similar scenario with Bubbey. Maybe bc he doesn’t have his engineering team or coworkers to boss around and direct, he’s like starting to manage me, and I don’t like it one bit. I was telling him my plan for reaching out to industry practitioners to attend trainings, meet other realtors, and assess fit. D was thinking that if I got along with her lady, maybe I could join that office and ramp up even while I was waiting to take the exam. Bubs was also really focused on sussing out openings with these brokers… 

The thing is, I first need to make sure I pass the test. Then, I’m simultaneously  reaching out and learning about the events and different offices where I can prepare for the test and network with realtors and trainers. I dunno. Maybe he’s just sharing his thoughts, but I often feel like he’s reiterating what I’m already planning to do but somehow he thinks my approach is different from what he’s suggesting. It’s not. It’s frustrating bc I’m fine with spousal influence, but that influence has to run both ways. And that hardly ever happens with his personal/professional development. He basically just shuts down anything I propose in terms of networking and talking to people for ideas on projects and interest areas.

Anyway, in other news, my friend N arrives tomorrow. I have outlined a rough list of things to do so we’ll finetune after she gets here. Rover has been busy too. I had a meet and greet yesterday for a terrier who is kinda feisty and potentially annoying. She’s coming over tomorrow for daycare, so we can better test compatibility for boarding in early October. Then, I have another meet and greet for a referral client (from my esthetician) on Sunday. 

Martin is kinda stressing me out. After the Paso Robles trip, J and I have decided that our only real option now is to have sitters stay in-home, bc Martin gets really confused in new environments now. I met a lady today who seemed good, but she can only do part of our Asia trip, and getting her exact dates of availability has been like pulling teeth. I mean, I need to know so I can cobble something together with another sitter! It’s stressful too just wondering if we’ll even need care for Asia if we put him down before then. Every day is different.

Ok, I’m pretty pooped now. Off to bed.

Charm School

It’s no secret that, like my parents, I’m a fucking alien. Last weekend, while we were on our wine country getaway with the other couple, there were definitely a few very distinct moments when my comments/actions received confused and incredulous looks.

First, I should say that the other couple are big time oenophiles. They read wine books, host wine tasting parties (that they play seriously), are wine club members, watch wine movies, etc. You get my drift. They are serious about that shit. So, since I just had to show up, I had no inkling as to the collection and/or caliber of alcohol that was being brought. Our first night there, Bubbey grilled a Costco tri-tip, and his friend J cracked open the alcohol. Well, you know me: Bubbey and I live on a shared glass/plate system (to minimize dishwashing and water consumption), so we’re not huge on like individual serving sets. So we start off with the champagne in flutes. His friend poured and served into individual flutes. The champagne tasted pretty dang good, better than what I’ve had before but I couldn’t exactly say better how. Turns out, it was some fancy aged champagne where the bubbles are super fine. Ok, great. I enjoyed it. Next up was the red wine. Well, after I drank my glass of champagne, I just poured the red wine into my champagne flute, even though there was a new red wine glass set out on the kitchen island. The dude watched me and just kind of stared in disbelief (or judgement). Then he walked over and said, the red really needs to be enjoyed from a red wine glass. I thought to myself: ok sure, whatever. In my head though, I was thinking: does the vessel really matter? He started telling Bubs about the red wine… it sounds like a fancy wine. Just out of curiosity (and bc I’m always collecting data and price points), I asked how much the bottle was. I was totally expecting like $75 or something. Like still high to me but you know, not beyond the realm of expectation. Nope. Try over $200!

Given my strong history with charm school and etiquette (NOT!), leave it to me to drive the Porsche as if it were a Geo Metro, know what I mean? What can I say: classy all the way through.

So incidents like this kind of happened throughout the weekend. Am I just too plain folk? Or perhaps I just prefer to flip the middle finger to social graces? I dunno. To be honest, there has always been a part of me that has rolled my eyes at the stuffiness of etiquette, even the formality of plating and placement of utensils . I mean, I’m sure I have my own set of behaviors where I judge people as being discourteous or rude. But I’m just not totally clear on where I stand on politeness and manners. Clearly, the caliber of food/drink last weekend was way high for me. After all, I’m pretty happy with wine in the box. Or maybe I’m just not THAT food/wine driven??? When we host parties, we like to serve food that we make, but do I want to be the kind of people who snub their noses at guests who bring over Safeway soda or Sunny Delite or Lucerne ice cream? No. That kind of snobbery really rubs me the wrong way. I’m trying to dig deeper on this to determine why the whole scenario bugs me. Is it a class thing? An elitism thing? A pretension thing? Not sure. But I had a strange mix of feelings, like I was churlish and unsophisticated. And yet, I didn’t really care to fall in line with the norm. Defiant once again. Even in the most unsuspecting of circumstances.

Showing Up

J and I were back in Paso Robles this weekend… for local overnight trips that don’t involve air travel, Paso Robles seems to be our de facto destination of choice. We were traveling with another couple, also a peaches and cream combo (Asian woman + white man) and also child-free. Yup, we’ve been saying for a while that we need more child-free friends (no offense parents, but you know how that shit rolls) so this couple is being beta-tested, so to speak. JK. J used to work with the guy, and I guess the guy and his girlfriend (another J&J couple) have hosted a lot of his work peeps over, so she is pretty tight with that work crew. Anyway, they are big time wine/food/cigar enthusiasts so they’re a pretty solid match for my swanky Bubbey.

Overall, the getaway went pretty well. My dog sitter fell through a week prior, so we ended up taking Marty. I mean, as you know, Marts isn’t doing so hot these days. The car travel didn’t bode well for him either. During the 2.5-hr car ride, he managed to both shit and puke in the car. I mean, pretty gross but what can you do? He’s never ever committed such mistakes as an adult dog, so surely all of it is attributed to him being old as fuck and then just not feeling so great. He can’t be faulted. But as co-passengers in the car, it gets frustrating.

The good news though about the whole trip is that all I had to do was show up. Seriously. I did zero planning. The foodies planned the groceries, wine, meal prep, reservations, wine tastings, and all I did was go. It was pretty frickin’ cool to have zippo responsibilities. Oh, except that I selected the lodging, based on my past research of the area. The place was pretty damn posh and pricey, but I think it was a big hit. We had a great time just hanging out there. I mean, you know me: there’s always gonna be some constructive criticism: unfortunately, the site lacked a hot tub and pool, but other than that, really baller. Oh well, we can’t have it all.

Based on the VRBO pics, I had originally thought the house was a shipping container home, but after speaking with the owner, turns out it was a renovated monster mechanics garage (holding 12 cars), so no pre-fab construction involved. Yeah, kinda thwarted my container home research, but whatev, just as well. One of the wineries we hit up had a lovely tasting room that looked container-home-ish. Upon speaking to the host, I discovered it was a single-wide mobile home?!?!? Wow, just tweak the facade and add an industrial style roof, and you would NEVER suspect something as basis as a mobile home! Amazing. Add it to my list of topics to research for Project Little House.

In terms of connecting with this couple, I will say, Bubs def has much more in common with them. Not only do they share the enjoyment of these finer things in life, they are also very much on the same page re: humor and pop culture references. So yeah, I felt kind of out of it, but then again, you know me: social awkwardness is practically my middle name. I notice the discomfort, but it’s not bad enough to stop me from doing things. I do feel like Bubs invests a lot of time with “my” friends, so every now and then, I ought to return the favor. The rules of marriage and all. 😛

Fortunately, I also have no issues with going off and doing my own thing while they hang and drink and chat. Admittedly, I was pretty distracted. After Marty’s shit and puke bouts in the car, he just looked really off. He was uncomfortable and couldn’t get settled. He was disoriented and I dunno, just out of it. Thankfully, I brought the bag of fluids so we gave him 400 mls while we were there. It helped but I dunno. I’m feeling like the end is near. Needless to say, between that and my cultural illiteracy, I was less engaging than my usual ebullient self. Haha.

Other things we did on the trip: we hit up four wineries (Daou, Booker, Epoch, and Hoage) and had a fantastic dinner at the Hatch in downtown PR. I mean, I thought the food was phenomenal but I only get so excited over food. His friends loved it so much, they couldn’t stop talking about it even well into the next day. Great find, Bubbey.

As for the winery visits, generally, I find wine tastings to be rather stuffy and strange. I much prefer to just get a bottle for the group and enjoy together outside. But his friends are big on the tastings… Thankfully, Paso Robles is much lower key than say, Napa where the hosts are typically all in your face, throwing out all those ridiculous adjectives that don’t even make any sense. To the contrary, these hosts were chill and open to whatever we wanted to do (share a tasting, walk around, hang out, not buy any wines, or whatever), so that was a welcome difference. Also, some of the grounds of these places were so incredibly picturesque. Plus the weather was awesome (very warm but with a consistent cool breeze) and I had a blast wandering around taking pictures.

So to recap, J and I are big fans of Paso Robles, but that said, it’s still 2.5 – 3 hrs. away. So is it still a possible little house weekend/investment property location? Tough to say but probably not: it’s just a tad too far, I think. But this trip def gave us some ideas to churn.[FAG id=7476]

Upcoming Travels

I’m pretty damn stoked that the Southwest Companion Pass is finally within reach. Normally, this elite status is attainable only if you clock 50 round trip flights in one year OR obtain 110,000 points, which is kinda a shit ton of dough, you know what I mean?

With the credit card bonus, I scored 50k points free back in March. But then separately, Southwest ran some insane promo for California this summer, requiring only five round trip flights from July to October. So now I don’t even need the 110k points: I just need the round trips, and with all the crazy sales they’ve been having, Precious will be mine!!  Muhahaha!

So it should come as no surprise that I’m a dork, and I tallied up the cost of the five flights. Some of them were flown solo and a few were with Bubbey but his flights are irrelevant in terms of the promo. Even after all that, the total came under $1500! Obviously, for each trip, there’s lodging and car rental and whatever, so the gross outlay is higher but still, if you just calculate based on the flights, this is a pretty low barrier of entry for a free companion ticket for any Southwest destination through December 31, 2017, right? I’m super psyched.

And speaking of travel deals, my bud N is celebrating her 40th in Big Sky, MT this January. Yup, she is not afraid of heavy duty snow in the mountains in the dead of winter. Anyway, she’s renting out a posh lodge and a bunch of her friends are gathering from all over the country. Bc Bozeman is a smaller airport, there aren’t really direct flights (except from Seattle) and airfare ranges from $300-$600. I was tracking and just waiting for a good price point. But then, N sent me her itinerary, which is uber cray from the East Coast (Wilmington to Charlotte to Nashville to Seattle to Bozeman), and a light went off in my head. Wait, what??? Alaska Air and American Air are partner airlines? It’s pretty fricking tricky bc when you go on the AA site to book an award flight, the default search is just for AA and American Eagle, so then no flights are available. But, if you open the search to partners, all kinds of routes emerge, including several on Alaska. I’m pretty thrilled bc I hardly ever fly AA or Alaska so I’ve had the points just sitting in my account, and now I just eeked out a freebie flight. Woot, woot! Maybe I should work in the travel industry. Hee, hee.

Solid Waste Engineer

I’ve been wearing my solid waste engineer hat a lot lately. After Marty was doing amazeballs for so damn long, he’s back on the down swing. His appetite had been so strong for the last few weeks that we started giving him more snacks and treats bc well, he enjoyed them so much. Turns out, there IS such a thing as killing them with kindness. On Friday, he didn’t have appetite at all and for the last two days, he’s been hacking and puking sporadically. I looked at my vet handbook and it looks like the kidney disease is flaring up again. And of course, the added pressure from his coughing caused him to poop in his bed and then he’s also been wetting the bed due to incontinence. So lots of cleaning and laundry. Pretty much anytime he gets a bite of anything, he’ll puke again minutes later. Ugh. So now he is super weak.

J and I gave Marty his sub-cutaneous fluids this afternoon… it has been so long since we’ve had to do this regularly, and the last time, he totally wigged out when the needle went in. So I’m always stressed now about poking him. But this time, he was so tired, he got up but didn’t react as dramatically. I just hope it makes him feel better and then again, we just need to be super strict about sticking to his diet. Poor baby Marty. My bad.

Meanwhile, the neighbors went away for the weekend, so I’m on pet duty. This entails letting the chickens in and out of their coop morning and night, refilling their food/water, and then dealing with the kitty (feeding and litter box). So yesterday, I go over there, and the litter box is like chock full of shit. Already, I’m allergic to cats and then I spent like five minutes nonstop scooping/sifting the gabillion chunks of shit into the trash, with dust flying everywhere. I have NEVER seen a litter box so full. Must have been like a week’s worth of stuff. So fine, whatever. J says it’s not my responsibility to do that, but I mean, what kitty wants to take a dump in a mindfield?? Who knows what’s going on: people get busy, other pressures, whatever. Get ‘er done. After I get home, I proceed to have a full-blown allergy attack that lasts the rest of the night. Jesus Christ.

Needless to say, I have not been sleeping well for the last week. And yesterday, we broke our 6-day gym streak… with deep dish pizza, mind you. The pizza is completely devoured now, and today it’s back to the gym. I’m thinking I’ll wade around in the pool today, bc my muscles are sore as fuck. Maybe I’ll also use the wet sauna to clear out the sinuses.

Winds of Change

In my real estate books, there is a pair of words that comes up frequently in chapter quizzes and sample tests. Accretion is the gradual addition of land through natural causes. Its antonym is erosion, the gradual loss of land through natural causes. For some reason, with all the recent news of extreme weather, I’ve been thinking a lot about how quickly things can change. One minute, you’re moving one way along with the current, the next minute you’re tossed out of the fucking boat and completely disoriented. I guess that saying is pretty true: the only constant in life is change.

So a lot has happened lately. Mostly good news. Last month, after my friend M totally rocked her job application, Skype interview (while we were in Palm Desert), and onsite job interview, she scored a sweet offer for a higher position at a different public agency. Yup, after 11 years, she’s moving on. Up and up you go, my friend!

My other friend K recently got engaged and this unlocks the next phases of adulting for her. She and the beau are thrilled. I know, that only means more friends with kids in the pipeline for us (ugh). What can you do: the heart wants what the heart wants. JK. Haha! Meanwhile, my friend N recently sold her house, left a job, started a new job, and is now thinking about moving out of state after more than a decade in North Carolina. She’s coming to visit in two weeks and I’m super excited (and have a hefty list already planned out, of course).

Even when all the changes are good changes, for me it really reminds me of the importance of adaptability. Adaptability provides the backbone to progress. After I took the real estate exam prep workshop last Saturday, I realized that many of my steps in transitioning to real estate were sub-optimal. Bc of my fears and reluctance about returning to an academic setting (albeit short termed), I picked the more isolating self study route with online real estate classes, and I took the courses in series rather than concurrently. Also, I def obsessed about grasping the material sufficiently before taking the class exams whereas other people studied way smarter, meaning they understood they needed to just jump through the hoops and focus on getting to the next stage. It really wasn’t about understanding the content but just getting to the next phase. I mean, it’s fine: what’s done is done and I suppose I can view the slower route as a good way of training up my brain to memorize info again, something it really hasn’t done in a very long while.

Still, I was pretty down on myself for a few days. At the end of August, I had submitted my application for the exam date, Again, I just followed the very next incremental step based on info from the Bureau of Real Estate (BRE) website, but after I attended the exam prep workshop, I learned that I was actually supposed to apply for BOTH the exam date plus license issuance at the same time. Ugh, I picked the slower track once again!!! I’m hoping that the BRE will pick up their pace at the end of summer and hopefully cut the wait for both my exam date and the later step of obtaining the license, but we’ll see. I’m frustrated that I’ve kinda been “doing it all wrong,” but I suppose it’s also not the end of the world. As Bubbey has pointed out, there’s still a lot I can do during the waiting game, open houses, learning the neighborhoods, studying the area trends, etc.

I will say, in a minor attempt to recover from all my procedural mistakes, I emailed the instructor on Friday seeking his advice on how best to use the downtime from now until the exam date and license issuance. I asked him about internships and opportunities. I’m going to reach out to a few other real estate people I know to inquire the same things. I know, sometimes it’s downright awkward to ask for assistance, esp from people you barely know. But these are strategies I was taught during my time at the job training center: you have to put yourself out there. And to be fair, there IS a way to ask without sounding entitled. I truly believe that. And on the flip side, whenever a stranger reaches out to me for job advice, I happily oblige and pay it forward… So anyway, here we are. We’ll see how he/they respond.

 

We Survived 115!

So I had about $100 in Southwest flight credits set to expire on August 18. Given that I had already been traveling quite I bit, I was just about ready to let that shit expire. But then, you know me: if there is a deal to be had, I do NOT relinquish my Bubbey Bucks easily. Thankfully, I came to my senses just in time to make a quickie trip happen. Yup, Bubbey was back East but I sent Marty off to the sitter, and my gal M joined for a last minute trip to southern California. Yup, SW had been running some great sales, so why not? We flew into Ontario and hit up the Omni Resort in Palm Desert, just east of Palm Springs. I mean, there’s a reason why tickets to the desert are cheap right now: temps were 115F, reaching over 90 by 6am. I pride myself in being quite the salamander, but holy mother of God, that desert heat was no fucking joke.

We were refilling our water bottles nonstop and we STILL couldn’t stay hydrated. We def had our bouts of mild headaches. That said, it was great having two days of R&R by the resort pool. M researched the hotel, and it was a solid find (although she was still disappointed). We played our little cheapie games and scored a room upgrade to lake view. The grounds were immense, complete with their own golf course plus like 3 different pools including a water park called Splashtopia. To our initial dismay, the place was kinda mobbed… something about it being the last weekend before school started up again. Damn kids, right?

Still, that wasn’t gonna stop us. We hit up the water park in the afternoon. I mean, the lazy river was kinda warm bc of all the bodies in the water, but we tubed for a bit, then climbed up for the slides. I’m telling you: I come from a family of people who don’t know how to have fun. I was never a big fan of amusement parks, add to that my recent fear of heights… as we went up the stairs to the top of the slides, I watched the kids fly down the slide. Shit, that thing is windy and fast! I mean, didn’t a kid just get decapitated on a slide? I started getting really stressed standing in line. And then right before her turn, M turned to me and said, “Well, if something happens, it was great knowing you. Have a nice life!” Oh shit lady, you did NOT just say goodbye as I’m internally freaking the fuck out.

I suppose one of my good qualities though is that even when I’m scared or uncomfortable or uneasy, I try really hard not to let those negative energies paralyze me. I’m up? Ok, it’s go time. So I flew down that damn slide on my back (how are people able to sit upright the whole way down??), zipping through the twists and turns and then at the end, I got dumped into the pool. I mean, I’ve never been a strong swimmer or a person comfortable in deep water. So I did NOT have the wherewithal to hold my breath. In other words, I ate it big time and got a shit ton of water up my nose and down my throat. Whew. Glad that’s over!

Of course, just my luck, M LOVED it and immediately started clamoring to go on the other slide. Fuck, really? Ok. Same drill. Meanwhile, I’m watching all the little kids and they are having the time of their lives. No fear.

Well, like they say, “Fake it til you make it.” Again, like a dumb ass, I gulped down a ton of water at the exit. In retrospect, there were seconds of the experience that were kinda thrilling, and I’m glad I did it. But shit, I was so ready to return to the adult-only pool!

Later that day, we hit up the supermarket and picked up some snacks and munchies to chill out on the patio. The sliced cheese melted pretty damn fast and sweat got into my eyes, causing them to burn. Jesus, I got too many problems!

All in all, it was a short getaway, but we still did a lot. Esp if you consider how our bodies were just trying to survive in the deadly heat. I can’t believe that John and I used to have Palm Springs on our list of possible places to live. No more. Bc shit: I cannot live in a place where, should my car break down or my power goes out, I could DIE in a matter of minutes or hours. That level of hot is crazy dangerous.

That said, for vacay? Hellz yeah. It’s a decent destination for an escape, maybe just not during summer. We enjoyed several tasty meals, browsed around in a few shops (plus the outlets), and most importantly, clocked in some serious pool time… all while chatting away nonstop. Oh and if you can imagine: M even prepped for a job interview and then did the interview over Skype! Without skipping a beat. Hehe. Good times, for sure.[FAG id=7470]