Category Archives: Friends

Playing God

A few days have passed since we said goodbye to Marty. I have periods of functionality, and then suddenly, I’ll be overcome with emotion. I’ve been feeling really tired lately, and my eyes, even though they no longer appear swollen, feel tight and tired, like I can’t open them as widely and as alertly as I used to.

On Saturday, I met up with M and T for lunch. We met first at M’s house. As soon as she opened her front door, I started to cry. It’s weird bc I can be totally fine (although in this particular case, I had already melted down twice in the car on the way there) and then as soon as I share the news or someone acknowledges the news, I break down again. Anyway, we had a good time remembering Marty, talking through things, and such. M showed off her home’s latest additions– voice-activated lighting: that place needs to be featured in a home design magazine for reals! Everything is meticulously selected, arranged, and maintained. Whenever I get home after visiting her house and/or T’s house, I feel like our Houseboat is just kid’s play. Anyway, they both gave me gifts which cheered me up and then we headed off for lunch. After spending two days hidden from the world, it was good to get out and interact with people again.

Of course, as soon as I got home, poor Bubbey was a mess. He had culled every single photo of Marty into a single album. And it took him 90 minutes to go through picture by picture… blurry, shitty pics and all! Seeing Marty as a young pup really made him realize just how much our boy had aged and slowed down.

Tonight, Bubbey was telling me that losing Marty has been a lot harder than with Remy, in part bc the decision with her came so unexpectedly, with the vet advising it on what we thought was just another office visit. Also, she was in so much worse shape. With Marty, he really was looking and moving ok that day. There was almost an arbitrary nature to our decision… and in that sense, we really struggled with this responsibility of playing God. Some days, like when we look at how much he did as a young dog, we feel like we waited too late, that long ago, he had already stopped doing so many things he used to love: chasing critters at the park, running through the fields, sitting adroitly for treats… Other days though, we still hear him struggling to get up from his bed or climbing through the doggie door or rustling around in the yard. We wake up and think we’ll be taking him to the park for a walk that morning… J and I aren’t particularly great at creating and maintaining habits, but some of these elements have just become so ingrained after all these years.

Last night I was up late fidgeting around with photos. I wanted to print small square prints to include them in my thank you notes to people who contributed to the donation drive. Yesterday, J and I dropped off an entire trunk full of gifted items: food, towels, blankets, treats, collars, leashes, and coats… I was happy to gather a sizeable amount of stuff, but it was challenging pulling into the parking lot, where I came last year to pick up Marty after he’d gone to the elementary school.

I dunno: I guess I’m just rambling now. The bottom line is, the empty nest feels very quiet. With Remy’s passing, we still had to continue about our lives with Marty. Now, it’s just the two of us. Every day continues to be a struggle. I miss him so much, and it’s really hard to feel festive without our little buddy.

My thoughtful cousin AH, who visited two years ago right after Remy passed away, called me yesterday via FB Messenger.

A photo posted by Vicky Gou (@vickygou) on

Turns out, he’d been following my Instagram feed closely, bc he knew Marty was so fragile. And with every post, he was copying and pasting my English caption into Google translate to see in Chinese what I was saying. I was so touched to learn that he was keeping tabs on Marty. He said he was thinking about coming back to visit just to see Marty one last time.

After our call, I was curious about the translation, so I popped it in and listened to the Chinese audio over and over. The translation was surprisingly accurate. Google Translate, man. So freaking sophisticated.

Party People


Among my recent schmoozing activities, in one evening (last Friday), I attended TWO gatherings: a company Winter Wonderland party sponsored by our office’s top two agents, AND I went out for drinks with ladies in a meetup group called Ditch the Bitch Stigma. Originally, I was going to skip the work party, bc no one I knew was going and I dunno: it felt a little too cool for me.

But then, my diligent side kicked in, and I convinced myself that this job is a continuation and expansion of forcing myself into uncomfortable social situations. I figured, if anything, it was important to “show up,” and in addition to desensitizing me to future awkward social settings, maybe I would get lucky and befriend some agents who’ll let me cover their open houses later down the road. Yes, I’m trying to be smart and strategic, bc well, that’s how the world operates!

So at 5:30p, I show up at the Aloft hotel, where the party started at 5. Immediately, I knew I’d entered the wrong scene. Holy fuck. There’s a DJ, the room is lit up like a Virgin America airplane, and everyone is super decked out in white cocktail attire, like super fancy lace/shimmery dresses. Shit. Mind you, there was NO INFORMATION about attire on the calendar invite. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Thankfully, I actually wore a skirt that day, but I mean, clearly I was like the only one who did NOT get the memo. Fine, whatever. What can be done: I’m already there. So I talk to some lash extension vendor who has a table set up. He gives me some coupons. Then I mosey my way deeper into the lounge. There aren’t a ton of people, but the bar is def backed up. I stand by the bar, awkwardly next to some dude already seated (and NOT in white) for like 5 minutes and the bartender just continues to ignore, helping every other person around. That’s the other thing about these party scenes: only the beautiful people get attention or service. So now I’m feeling even more insecure… and I’m practically hovering over this seated dude at the bar, all up in his personal space bc I want the bartender to see that I’m wanting service. I dunno. It was probably a desperate move bc it’s not like positioning myself closer to the bar moved me up in priority at all. Anyway, then the seated dude says something to me like what is this party that’s happening? I said, it’s some holiday party thrown by our top agents. He asks me if they throw this party every year, and I say I don’t know. I’m new. He wasn’t sure I was part of that party bc I didn’t match the theme… um yeah, dude. I’m a tard and I didn’t get the memo. Anyway, long story short, I start chatting with this guy who is a local tech startup CEO– he comes to this bar often to wait out the traffic. It was fine conversing with him: we had some things in common, like past experiences working in renewable energy and he spent some time in the Mid-Atlantic… he told me about his new startup. He was pleasant, but goddamn, the music was loud, so there was THAT annoyance while having a conversation. We connected on LinkedIn. And I swear the bartender took FOREVER to get to me. So 30 minutes later, I excuse myself bc shit, I’m supposed to be meeting the big dogs at the work party, right? As I moved to the lounge area, all the tables were “reserved.” I walked past clusters of people, and shit, things suddenly felt very cliquish. Ugh!!!!

Thankfully, my managing broker (the surfer dude) showed up a few minutes later, after I just sat down alone in an empty reserved section and crammed snacks into my piehold. The guy M is a pretty interesting guy, with a fascinating background working for MTV and Paramount and shit. In school, he would def be one of the “cool kids,” but fortunately, for me, since he heads up our office, he’s not allowed to be super cliquish. So we chatted for a bit. Then his boss showed up, and I passed along some nice compliments I’d heard from title agents about M’s superb recruitment efforts. In retrospect, maybe it came across brown-nosy. I wasn’t trying to be. That was just the only thing that came to mind when his boss mentioned Matt’s work growing the office. Overall, I didn’t do as much “strategic” schmoozing as I had hoped (meaning: befriending other agents in the office), but M commented that it was good I came. And I think he’s def noticed that I “show up” a lot, like to office trainings and what not. Afterwards, I headed out to attend my meetup group.

So Ditch the Bitch Stigma meetup was not bad! The premise is a gathering of professional women to talk about sexism in the workplace and beyond. The group of 8-10 was really diverse age-wise but not really diverse race-wise. Mostly white. I befriended the lady next to me S who is a financial planner and a lady sitting across– S who works for a telemedicine service. The conversation went well. I found lots in common with these women: the financial planner is a Cali native who recently traveled to my birth city of Baltimore. She is OBSESSED with Groupon; she has two dogs; and she bought land in Washington state and plans to retire/build a container home up there. The telemedicine lady just put in her notice after working for an asshole female boss (Jesus, how many are out there?); she has a very old dog; and she’s starting a new venture related to wine and tourism! Isn’t it crazy how three random strangers can have so much in common? We talked about all sorts of things, but my main takeaway was that I need to think more positively. I mean, sure, that concept is nothing new: it’s all shit I learned years ago in my mental skills training class. But fuck man, I am a worry wart and sometimes I just let my negativity consume me!! Like the smart ones say, it takes the same amount of energy, so why not just be positive for a change. After our conversation, I took the opportunity to connect on LinkedIn, and I followed up sending them info about my animal shelter donation drive, for which I even created a branded flyer (which took me forever to create)! Hey, this is my attempt at self-promotion. Regardless, I think I will continue going to this meetup in the new year!

On Sunday our neighbor two doors down hosted a gathering of people who live at our end of the street. She’s a realtor (looking to retire soon), so their house, purchased in 2015 for $2M looked incredible… it was practically staged!! The party itself was somewhat stilted but overall a pleasant experience. It got me thinking: modern living is so isolating compared to the old days. I mean, so many people living in the same vicinity and we really only know the host and our neighbors with the girl who walks Martin. The neighbors on our other side… the hubby actually was the seller’s agent for our house, but we NEVER EVER see the couple! Isn’t that sad???

But bc of the get together, I’m feeling inspired, so we’ve invited the MIA couple over for wine and cheese on Wednesday night. They want to see the changes we made to the house (most of which occurred ages ago in 2010!!!). Oh and I also met a Chinese couple at the party. Yup, slowly but surely, I’m expanding my circle. 🙂 And of course now I’m plugging my donation drive to these newly-connected neighbors. Haha. Always hustling, baby!

Not Ready

Today was a very emotionally draining day. Martin has progressively gotten weaker: his hind legs are giving out more often causing him to stumble or fall over, mentally he’s becoming more and more confused, and then today he puked three times even after I gave him his subcutaneous injection. Normally, the subq makes him feel loads better and it brings out his appetite. But I suppose the way kidney disease works, the body eventually just can’t process protein and even with the additional fluids flushing out the system, it’s not enough. In late afternoon, John and I started getting ready for a friend’s holiday party in SF. Right as we were about to go, that’s when he puked three times in a row. And then Martin was super weak. I decided to stay home with him, and then I proceeded to cry my eyes out as he slept. In the last few weeks, a few people have asked me when I’m going to make the decision. Perhaps that was their subtle way of telling me they think it’s time? This whole while I’ve been feeling tired and ready for this to be over, and yet once it really felt imminent, I pretty much lost it. And I realized that I will never ever be ready, no matter how exhausted I feel from the caretaking. John says we’ll see how tomorrow goes, but today he was def out of sorts, although there are still moments when he tracks me, watching and following me around the house. I’m feeling esp stressed with the upcoming holidays. Personally, I hate the holidays: it’s just too much family time and now I worry about leaving Martin in his state. It’s just a lot of mental stress.

I know all the angles: we gave him a great life, a very long life… but still. Argh, it really is the hardest part of pet ownership. Oh god, just thinking about the process and how difficult it was with Remy, lying there in the exam room… the heartbreak is unbearable, no matter how much I try to rationalize or explain or self soothe.

I have a busy week ahead for work. I feel behind, now being four weeks in. Last week, I attended some association meetings and shit, there are so many economic/political/global trends to follow. Like with Trump, what are the implications should his tax plans go through, i.e., changes to income tax, capital gains, tax deductions, repeal of the estate tax, changes in interest rates… fuck man, all those metrics that my father tracks, I will now have to know for my work. I’m ok with learning it all and with gaining a better understanding of how all of this is interconnected but it’s still overwhelming. 

Meanwhile, I’ve been reaching out to a lot of people from my past, and some people have responded promptly, others who knows if they will even reply. One friend is actually looking to buy a house right now, but they just signed on with another agent. I know it’s a slow process of building the pipeline, but already I’m worried (bc I’m impatient).

I had lunch with my friend J the other day. She’s the sassy older lady who’s always doing something fun. Yup, she is headed to Mexico with her daughter’s family for Christmas. She was very encouraging about my career in real estate. Maybe she’ll know people. I told her about that Linkages time bank program, and she was thrilled by the idea.

Yesterday afternoon John and I went to the Santa Clara County historic homes tour… a wonderful idea but a little rough in its execution. Of course, I enjoy touring homes. That said, I’ve never really been a fan of old things. You know how some people, like my MIL, really cherish the quality and the craftsmanship of things from the past. So this tour was all about retaining original features and showcasing pieces and artifacts from way long ago. It looked pretty cool and I appreciated that the homeowners share that passion, but for John and me, we’re much more of the looks good but is cheap and replaceable mentally. I know, totally not environmental but I guess I feel like you have to be too careful around old antiquey things. Anyway, it’s interesting to see the lengths people go to in order to preserve and restore the old. The best thing about the tour: I visited the home of a former coworker and it was an absolutely adorable and charming California bungalow. We caught up for a while and it was so nice reconnecting. Her kid, who was 2 when I last saw him, is now 5!! I enjoyed touring their home. John commented that I always feel happy when I see my friends, family, and acquaintances living comfortably. I guess that’s really true. I mean, the world can be a tough and unforgiving place, so seeing people I know doing well gives me great comfort.

Anyway, I’m suddenly very tired. My face is swollen from all the crying about Marty. Going to hit the sack early and try to start fresh tomorrow.

Doubts and Deals

Gosh, I can’t believe Thanksgiving has already come and gone. And I know, I’ve been slacking big time on blogging. What can I say: every damn day is packed and the hours just slip away! So for Turkey Day, we were invited to S’s place. She was hosting Friendsgiving. Since she’s pescatarian, J and I did a little pre-emptive turkey. I told J to just forget about it this year, but he knows how much I love my turkey (and cooking it in the NuWave), so he went out and got a 16-pounder. All I did was stuff it with veggies and sprinkle on top with olive oil, salt, pepper, and paprika. Time >> 1:40 >> Start. Flip. Repeat. And OMFG, that bird came out to perfection. I’m telling you! Then, I watched YouTube and carved that sucker up. Easy, breezy, and fucking delicious.

As things turned out, S’s neighbors made prime rib AND turkey, so we were pretty set the very next day. I’ve fallen off the damn gym wagon (again) and my waistline is quickly expanding. Fuck man, too many issues on too many fronts. But those are all troubles for another day, right? On Thanksgiving, we feasted. S also bought a Trump pinata… Unfortunately, we had to get home to Marty and didn’t stay for the Trump beatdown. Meanwhile, S was taking work calls like every 30 minutes, working in retail and with Black Friday being one of the biggest shopping times of the year. That lady: so dedicated. I was surprised to learn that she’s starting to ease up on the vegetarianism… mostly bc her doctor says she’s not getting enough nutrition. She even had a slice of turkey. I’m all for the animal cruelty angle, after all, I was veggie myself for six years but man, when you start getting health/sickness issues and esp given how much she has to travel for work, something’s gotta give. You can always source local/organic and reduce the portion… Overall, it was a lovely Thanksgiving gathering. As usual though, I was freezing my ass off bc well, SF. SF is a city where, even indoors, people bundle up in coats. I always forget.

Marty has been slowly getting better, although the last few nights, either I took the diaper off too soon or it came off… and he shit in the house. Sometimes too after he awakes from a nap, he’ll shit getting up to stretch his legs. I know, he doesn’t have the muscle/organ control he used to. Still, I swear I am THE worst person for special needs. I get so damn frustrated and impatient. Sigh, sigh, sigh.

In other news, I’ve still been going full throttle with work. I just want all my software and systems all set up, you know? And then I’ve been reading things and I swear, every damn night, I get this bout of anxiety. J says it always strikes at the 10 o’clock hour, where I’m suddenly overcome with doubt. Can I do this? How am I going to make the ask? How am I going to get business? When I read the scripts, they feel so. damn. forward. Like pushy. I know I have to make the ask, but… and so the cycle kicks off again. Will I ever achieve professional success? Will I ever be good at anything? Blah, blah, blah.

Thankfully, J helped clarify some things for me. Initially, I was a bit confused, bc my coach was really pushing the ask. But the office CEO/managing broker was telling me to network and plant seeds and NOT be obnoxious. I was having trouble reconciling the two, and then J explained it like this: with vendors and service providers (say, lenders or insurance agents), be aggressive and make the ask. With people you know, your inner circle, your personal network, you can be more subtle, like tell people you’re in real estate and WHAT THAT MEANS (like you can help with buying, selling, RENTING, even handle out-of-your-area referrals), but you don’t have to be so forward. Ah, ok. That makes more sense. I felt better.

So I’ve started going through my network, you know, cutting out people who probably don’t remember me and then categorizing the remaining people based on how we are connected. And then I’ve started crafting messages today based on that relationship: it takes time bc I’m not really using the scripts provided by my coach… Slowly and surely, I have to believe the work will come.

Meanwhile, I’m building my self awareness, reading about business strategies, doing technical trainings, and then filling my calendar with all sorts of networking opps. Tomorrow is the Board Game Night… same one as last week but J is joining. Frankly, I want to play the new game I learned again and then I want to try the networking angle.. this group is kinda like a test bed for me. No harm done if it doesn’t work out, but it’s good practice AND I also realized that a lot of these gamers are software people so actually, that’s within my realm of potential clients.

I was thinking the other night about “finding my tribe,” as the broker described it. Obviously, just like in the wider world, not everyone is going to jive with my personality or my style. I need to just go through lots of people, quickly cess out whether or not there’s potential (kinda like dating, I imagine), and then just focus on the shortlist. So I started analyzing my group of friends. Are there patterns or similarities among them? At first, I was thinking they are unconventional– like they do things their own way. But that was actually way off. A lot of my friends don’t really have the defiance issues I have with workplaces, leaders, and with society… So I was thinking and thinking and discussing with Bubs, and of course, world class EQ dude came up with the pattern: I get along well with people who like to research things. And it’s so true!!! I went through a lot of my friends and indeed, they like to research shit, be it recipes, restaurants, travel places, ballot propositions, tax/investment laws or secrets, products, politics, deals, historical events and legal cases, etc. So maybe that sheds light on the type of clients I might mesh well with? I dunno, really. Anyway, it’s one data point I suppose. And kinda interesting to me.

I’ve also been actively trying to hone my negotiation skills. Obviously, people want a realtor who can advocate for them in every possible way. In recent weeks, our Comcast cable and internet service has been extremely unreliable and shoddy. All over my neighborhood list, people were griping about it. People said they called and got $10-20 discounts. Last night, our cable went out again so I decided to call AGAIN. The matter still isn’t fixed— the tech is coming on site tomorrow BUT I did manage to get a $40 discount plus free Showtime for three months. Originally, the dude offered me $10 plus Showtime. Um, this is the second time I’m calling about shit service. The first time, the account billing person never even called me back. If my monthly bill is $140 and I’ve had at last a week of wonky service, $10 hardly covers the disruption. Homeboy tried to say the outage was only two days. I was like, is your company keeping records on its performance and tracking when service is actually out? Bc all over my neighborhood list, people say the outage is MORE than just a few days– like on the order of a week. That’s the thing I’ve learned. You gotta push back, bc people will try to get away with as much as they can.

Meanwhile, on the eBay front, I’ve been scoring some deals. Hee, hee. The secret is to filter for items where sellers have multiple quantity AND they post a list price OBO. I find that if I buy more than one and they have multiple in stock, sellers are generally more interested in clearing inventory than in getting optimal price per item.

Ok well, enough with my ramblings today. Obviously, my brain is filled with shit that’s all over the place. I’m going to try and hit the gym now. If anything, I gotta warm up in the sauna and take a shower. 😉 Ha!

Square One

OMG, the tasks just never end. Just as I started getting comfy with my newest favorite dog sitter, turns out she’s not available for Christmas. Whatdya know, dog sitters go on vacation too. So this morning, I launched another exhaustive search, inquiring with 11 new sitters. Thankfully two are maybes: I have a call with one this evening and a meet and greet slated with another person for Monday. See? Turns out it’s a good thing I labelled everything all around the house, bc now it’ll be helpful for the newbie.

The good news is that Marty is mostly stabilized. His appetite has been good and his legs are strong enough to carry him in/out of the doggie door and on multiple walks to the park. I’ve even got the bedtime diaper routine down, such that by morning, it’s only filled with urine. Poor Marty: sometimes I hear him use the doggie door in the middle of the night… little does he know, there’s no need to venture outside just to pee in his diaper. Ah well, old habits die hard, right? But dang that thing gets heavy by morning. My poor Marty. Aging sucks boat loads.

Today the plumbing crew came to install our tankless water heater. I’ve used this plumbing company twice before, and they are always clean, neat, and just plain good. The work took most of the day and we had to shut off the water completely, but by 3:30pm, everything was done. I also managed to find a $300 federal tax rebate for our unit! It’s kinda annoying bc every time I ask contractors about energy/appliance rebates, they never know. Sure would be great if vendors tracked that sort of thing, but then again, I suppose it changes so much year to year, it’s easier to just push that responsibility onto the customer. The work did require a puncture through the roof to add a vent, and oddly enough, it rained lightly this afternoon. I’m not worried though. I’m sure the roof wound is all patched up. Next, J will be applying for a permit; after that, we’re going to scout out vanities and contractors for when we knock down the wall and move the toilet. Argh so many details. I can’t even imagine the level of project management involved for G&J’s place where they are remodeling the entire basement, like almost an extra 1000 sf! Plus, they are both working full time with an active toddler and a baby on the way. Ambitious people.

I swung by the real estate office today. Pretty much, I can’t submit any paperwork until that damn license (with the BRE number) arrives in the mail. However, I have started watching the recommended videos, and I also took the Tony Robbins’ DISC profile test (again). Yup, I actually took the test a few years ago: my results this time are different in scale/intensity but essentially the same with regards to rank/priority of the categories. In other words, I have super high D (Dominance), then next highest is I (Interactive), then low and leveled off for S (Stabilizing) and C (Cautious). Here’s a quick summary of my profile. The report is quite fascinating as it also delves into your natural vs. adaptive state (how you behave/perform under stress). Anyway, here’s a breakdown of what my scores reveal for the four categories.

Dominance: Your score shows a very high score on the ‘D’ spectrum.
· You are very decisive and a risk-taker.
· You migrate towards difficult assignments and opportunity for advancement.
· Your approach tends to be forceful and very direct.
· You are a great source of innovation and new solutions, even if radical sometimes.
· You may be perceived as somewhat egocentric by others (i.e., others who you feel are less confident than you).
· You love a good challenge, seek freedom, and look for a lot of variety.

Interactive: Your score shows a high average score on the ‘I’ spectrum.
· You tend to meet new people in a confident and appropriate manner.
· You like democratic not dictatorial relationships on the job.
· People may find you charming to meet and to converse with on a variety of topics.
· You appreciate an open-door policy with both peers and supervisors.
· You present yourself in a poised manner to both small or large groups of people.
· You prefer an environment with ample people contact.

Stabilizing: Your score shows a low average score on the ‘S’ spectrum.
· You respect the established ways, but are open to change when it is deemed necessary.
· You are comfortable acting alone to determine the best course of action.
· You prefer a faster paced environment, but one that is not frantic or chaotic.
· You can multitask fairly well.
· You are flexible enough to deal with change openly and without fear.
· You like being mobile and on the go, but you like a home base to return to from time to time.

Cautious: Your score shows a low average score on the ‘C’ spectrum.
· You are flexible enough to work with or without a lot of structure or order.
· You can easily work independently when it comes to completing tasks and assignments.
· You may be perceived as being non-committal by some when it comes to deciding on how to proceed.
· To you, rules are guidelines, not concrete.
· You prefer to act as your “own person” rather than follow the norm.
· You are persistent in trying to get a message across, even in the midst of resistance.

These are suggestions for me to be more effective: You could be more effective
by:
• Becoming more aware of your approach to others, and it’s impact on others.
• Trying not to over-react.
• Being aware that your level of aggressiveness and tenacity may be off putting to others.
• Having support staff to handle the detail work.
• Reducing your competitive edge when dealing with others who aren’t as competitive as you.
• Becoming more sensitive to the climate or the situation, and adjusting your intensity accordingly.
• Learning to follow as well as you might lead.
• Remembering to negotiate difficult matters in a real-time, face-to-face manner, rather than through electronic means.

Interestingly, I don’t even consider myself competitive, but the other items are pretty spot on. For example, I wanted to negotiate my commission split via email, but Bubbey told me I had to do it in person. Haha.

Other tasks for this week? Bubs is going to do my photoshoot for my business cards and web materials. Argh, I kinda hate pictures of myself but apparently, homebuyers and sellers want to match the name to a face to build trust. Fuck. Phil Dunphy in da house! We’ll see what I come up with.

Back to the Bubble

Seattle was a great time. On Saturday, we hit up the Boeing facility up in Everett. We attended a 90-min Future of Aviation tour. Really. cool. And I’m not even an aviation geek. But we got to see the assembly floors for the 747, 777, and 787 Dreamliner. That carbon fiber, man. It is a game changer: so much lighter and stronger than steel, aluminum, or titanium. Amazing. Seriously, air travel never ceases to blow my mind: I mean, to get hundreds of people up in the air: living, breathing, eating, shitting– and transporting them thousands of miles all over the world- it is freaking magic!! Anyway, I highly recommend the tour.

Overall, our time was spent hanging out, playing board games (three new ones!), walking around, and eating. Yes, LOTS of eating, and John insists that the food in Seattle is better than the Bay Area. Then again, we’ve always felt that Bay Area food is overrated. Among our culinary delights in Seattle:

  • an amazing beef/lamb gyro + baklava dessert from Sultan’s in the university district,
  • doughy-crusted pizza and Italian apps at Mio Posto near G&J’s house,
  • cupcakes from Trophy,
  • yummo fresh doughnuts from Daily Dozen,
  • raw oysters and seafood at Elliott’s Oyster House by the water,
  • Mexican chocolate pie (among others) from A la Mode,
  • an amazing burger (crimini mushrooms and swiss cheese) at Uneeda Burger
  • more doughnuts from Top Pot,
  • vermicelli noodles from Dong Thap noodle shop in Little Saigon

And no, that is not even the comprehensive list. As you can see, the no-gym, carbo-loading theme continued for the entire trip. As for city attractions, well, the weather was wet– intermittent sprinkling but consistent wetness/dampness. We still stopped by some parks– Kerry Park, Washington Park Arboretum, Discovery Park, and Magnolia Park but aside from a longer stroll with Baby O and his parents through the Arboretum, our outdoor time was brief. I imagine the locals are completely undeterred by the cloudy skies and perpetual moisture, but I was pretty much paralyzed without sunshine.

I think the other couple and their kid H had a good time too. We hung out less with them: I think H is maybe on a stricter schedule. I’m not exactly sure. He isn’t quite as well-traveled as Baby O, so maybe the process was just a bit more tiring for them. He’s also in a different growth/development stage where I think he’s a bit more difficult.

The funniest thing is that J and I are the only child-free couple, and yet we were exhausted. J thinks we’re still recovering from our cold (eh, maybe, kinda), but I think it’s just the exposure to constant motion/chatter that causes mental fatigue. Then again, it could be a combination of factors. I’m sure the binging and minimal exercise did not help. Anyway, I’ll have to debrief with J&J to get their thoughts on traveling with the little man. Seemed like they enjoyed the break/escape esp following a very emotionally trying and depressing week (Trumpocalypse and all).

[FAG id=7494]

Regardless, we’re happy to be back in the Bubble. Marty did well again. This new sitter, I’m telling you. I hope she’s always available until the end, bc she has been a Godsend.

What’s on tap this week? We’re heading back to the gym. Also, I’m thrilled to be getting our new tankless water heater installed tomorrow!! J & I have def been pushing our luck with the old 40-gallon. For real. There is all kinds of rust/corrosion/water ponding on the top of it (signaling it’s imminent demise), so I can’t wait to get this old sucker (dated 1998) hauled outta my house! The work should just take a day, so fingers crossed! We removed all the junk (supplies, shelving, shoes, etc.) out of the hallway washer/dryer area to make room for the plumber. He’s supposed to mount the tankless unit on the wall above the dryer, and then he’ll remove the old tank. Phase 2 for us will then involve finding a contractor to bust out part of the wall and then we’re hoping to move the master bath commode to where the water heater sat so as to make room for a larger sink/vanity. We’ll see. I haven’t even contacted any contractors or anything. That’s later. First things first. Gotta remove the exploding bomb!

Beyond that, I’m planning to hit up the kw office tomorrow and the rest of this week: I’m submitting my paperwork and kicking off my first 100 days. Woohoo!

Of course, just as I’m ramping up for real estate, I’m also getting a ton of requests for Rover for Thanksgiving. So far, I’ve turned them all down though. Mostly bc the dogs are too young (< 3 y/o) and I don’t want the added stress on Martin. Don’t worry: I’m still hustling via eBay and Craiglist. In fact, a Palo Alto techie is coming by tomorrow to buy J’s old Apple monitor! Yeehaw! More Bubbey bucks! 🙂

Hello Again

Well looks like I skipped a day already for NaBloPoMo. Oops. Our time here in Seattle has felt quite busy. On Friday, we were up early to check out all the downtown sites; unfortunately, we didn’t plan the operating hours at all. For example, we hit up the Chihuly Museum and Space Needle bc Friday was the only clear day in the forecast. When we arrived, the Chihuly place was closed, opening only at 11. So we decided to do a brisk walk downtown to Pike Place Chowder. Then, they were also closed, set to open at 11. So weird: we really expected a major city like Seattle to have more things buzzing by 9am. But our bad. We should have looked that shit up first. Anyway, after walking around tons, we scored our clam chowder and fresh doughnuts then headed back for the glass exhibits. Chihuly was decent: a very doable exhibit, though I kinda felt like having seen his work in Vegas and in Phoenix, the pieces looked very familiar. We were in and out in about 30 minutes. As for the Space Needle, the cloudiness never burned off, so we decided to skip.

For dinner, all of us met up at the Fremont Brewing company. Our old friend D, who has lived in Seattle since 2013, also came out. It was good to see him– the last time was maybe three years ago. He’s at the same company now, but he bought a house and then recently got married. Sadly, his new wife extended her trip in Japan so was unable to join us. But D seemed happy and well. I am pleased to report that all my old disappointments about that friendship are gone now. The friendship was great while it lasted; I mourned its loss years ago, but now things are fine. With my reaching out a month ago, I realized I was actually ok with everything. Life has moved on for sure.

Carbs

Since returning from Asia, J and I have not been to the gym. It’s been ten days too. First it was our colds, then the week-long jetlag, then the nasty ass carpets at home, then the leaking water heater, etc. The bullshit never ever ends. I know, all excuses. I own up to them. Some day we’ll get back on the JCC wagon. Hopefully sooner than later.

In the meantime, we are back in the air. Yup, today was our inaugural Companion pass flight, and already I fucked something up: I mis-entered J’s TSA Pre number, so then he had to go through the regular line. I know, first world problems and all. Fortunately, we still had enough time, but geez what a pain regular security is. If TSA Pre is not indicated on your boarding pass, it doesn’t matter whether you have the number or card or whatever. Tough shit. Regular security line for you. Needless to say, as soon as we got to the gate, J talked to the agent to get that shit fixed pronto.

An interesting thing happened: at the gate, I spotted the former GM of the public agency where I used to work. I immediately went up to him and his wife (I still remembered her name). He didn’t remember me, so I had to jog his memory. Funny thing though: he said he had been tinkering around on the agency website and he just couldn’t find what he was seeking. This whole time he was thinking that I was making the site more confusing and less intuitive. Nah man, it wasn’t me!! Glad I was able to clear my name, right? Anyway, it was a brief but nice little catchup. It’s cool to see retired people still active and traveling and having fun. The conversation was also a good exercise for me to revisit and relight those old connections… My new job is gonna demand that kind of thing from me far more often now…

As for the flight, it was an easy 90 minutes. I conked out and dreamed about hustling to sell houses. 🙂 After we touched down, we putzed around UW and then snuck in a quickie meal (gyro and baklava) at a local Middle Eastern food shop. Wow, a flavorful meal!

Then for dinner, we met up with our two couple friends– G&J, who are Seattlelites, and J&J, who flew in from OAK this morning. The neighborhood pizza joint hit just the spot: we had a great time catching up over yummy food. For dessert, Trophy cupcakes! Yup, clearly, the carbo loading has only just begun.

Day Trip

We had a packed day today, hanging out with our child free friends J and J– the same people we did the Paso Robles VRBO trip with in September.

This morning we drove up to Mare Island in Vallejo: We toured the model units at Blu Homes (nice but a rip off given the steep pricing), ate a fab lunch at the Girl and the Fig (pork belly sandwich) in downtown Sonoma, and then hit up a few wineries. J&J introduced us to a nice venue (Landmark Wineries) with beautiful grounds and affordable tasting fees. Sadly, I’m not used to consuming so much wine in one day, plus I was DD. We had a great day, and Sonoma is very pretty this time of the year with the fall leaves, but I’m beat. Still hacking up a lung too. Hoping the extra hour will give me superpowers tomorrow.

Confidence

In preparation for our trip, Bubs started watching a bunch of videos on Seoul. One video we watched had to do with the skyrocketing trend of plastic surgery in Korea. The Koreans are into elective surgery big time (Based on 2014 stats: 1 in 5 women get shit done vs. 1 in 20 women in the US), and the patients are super freaking young. Like under 20 y/o!! I dunno where I stand on all of this.

On one hand, I feel so sad that children THAT young are feeling so badly about their appearances that they are going under the knife. The argument for surgery isn’t purely superficial though. As in China, job applicants have to submit mugshots, so many parents who gift their kids plastic surgeries for their 16th and 18th bdays consider it an “investment” in the child’s career and future. There does seem to be something instinctively “wrong” with having physical appearance and beauty hold so much importance, and yet, if we think about all those studies about how beautiful people get more in life (be it in the form of attention, assistance, promotions, jobs, etc…), is it naive to downplay how influential beauty can be? Even babies respond more positively to beautiful people, so isn’t this just human nature?

My stance with plastic surgery has changed over the years. In my younger years, despite my struggles with acne, I really felt like surgery just promoted superficiality. Anytime my parents complained about my attire or whatever, I reacted angrily, accusing them of being shallow. But now, as a 40-y/o woman, I realize there’s a lot to be said for confidence as a byproduct of attractive appearance. When I was younger, my acne made me closed off. I isolated myself from things I would have done otherwise. And in my mid 30s, when I started investing more time in my attire and my style (after my acne cleared up), I def felt a stronger kick in my step. The connection between appearance and confidence was undeniable. And certainly, if an adult woman opts for a little nip/tuck or facelift or whatever, I’m far less judgey about it now than I used to be. Ultimately, it’s about choice, right? Weigh the pros and cons and then decide for yourself. Honestly, women have been obsessing over beauty since forever, whether it’s in the form of makeup, skin creams/elixirs, faux lashes, botox, fillers, hair removal, tatted brows, hair coloring, pushup bras, etc.

So circling back to plastic surgery for girls… instinctively, it feels wrong but if I consider it from the perspective of confidence, I feel very differently. For example, how different would my experiences as a young woman have been if I had confidence, if I had loved myself? My demons chased me for so long… decades and decades. What if that burden had been removed in my 20s: how might I have flourished? I don’t know what the answer is, and with issues like this, I’m so glad I don’t have kids who rely on me to help direct and navigate them through these complexities.

Anyway, it’ll be interesting to be surrounded by swaths of beautiful people in Seoul. 🙂