Category Archives: Family

Ain’t About that Life

So J’s youngest sister S turned 40 this week and last weekend she had a big bash. The key takeaways from her party? 1. She is one helluva woman. Lots of friends. Surrounded by lots of love. She’s incredibly generous and gracious and that is reflected by the tremendous turnout. 2. I ain’t about that party life.

First, I was nervous enough about attending a party in the city. What can I say, I’m a sheltered suburban princess who is getting softer by the minute. Blame the overly protective parents and privileged upbringing. Blame living in Mountain View. I dunno. Naturally, the party was held at a bar… another unfamiliar setting for me. Yes, I’m over 40 but I can admit that bars and lounges have just never really been my setting. But whatever, it wasn’t my bday, it wasn’t my shindig, so what the heck, I just sucked up the discomfort and went.

So the thing is, I am all about the social awkwardness and discomfort. I mean, I have done my fair share of striking up conversations with strangers, right? Door-knocking, flyering, standing outside the Whole Foods, whatever… I tried REALLY hard to have conversations with strangers at the party. They did not go well. I mean, I survived and I can force myself through ANYTHING, but the final note was not a good one. I somehow got trapped talking to a dude who was super preachy. Honestly, at first, I thought we would be on the same page bc he was all into the leadership guru philosophies: you know, have passion, be open minded, live and grow, etc. He’s a life coach, btw. But as the conversation continued, I got an earful of preachiness. Holy cow. I said I was tired and kinda talked out— ready to go home. By that point (Saturday evening 11:30pm), I had spoken to maybe 50 people that day. I had hosted an open house earlier that day and it was especially busy, with over 40 people coming through. Then you know, I was trying to be social at the bday bash. I talked to a LOT of people. Well apparently, being tired and exhausted from people interaction was not the right mindset. I got a talking to about my bad attitude and my shitty perspective. Then I was told that I should go to Burning Man, bc it’s not at all about drugs or sex… it’s just about love. Pure. love. Um, okay…

I’m glad we went to the party, bc this was an occasion to celebrate S. But man, for as many uncomfortable social situations I have been in, I have never so consistently felt out of place and awkward as that night. I kept trying to decipher whether the mismatch was due to city dwellers vs. suburbanites, introverts vs. extroverts, single people vs. partnered people, under 40 vs. over 40, nerdy people vs. cool people… I dunno. I just could not figure it out. But definitely, I ain’t about that life. Holy crap, the worlds were colliding.

Also, it was a wig party. Now given my history with Sasha Fierce, you’d think I’d be all up in that fake hair shit. I tried my best to be in the mood. But then that fake head of hair was itchy and hot as hell. You know me and my sensitive skin. Back to my bubble, pronto!! 🙂

Feeling Irked

Well, you know the way I roll: there’s no sugarcoating from me! Today was a shit day. OMFG. Yesterday, I actually took the day off, bc J’s eldest sister came to town for his youngest sister’s 40th blowout weekend. J had been asking whether I was going to spend the day with him and E in Sonoma, and I was hemming and hawing… Why? Bc like I’ve been saying: I am in startup mode. I am in that phase where I don’t want to eat and I don’t want to pee. I just want to focus on work. Now, I know that any normal human being would really jump at the chance to hit up wine country for a day: I mean, gorgeous setting, fine wine, delicious food, great company… what moron would even have to give this two seconds’ thought?  What can I say, I am a rare bird. The fear of losing out on potential opportunities to build my business eats at me. Maybe it’s an irrational fear. I dunno, but I have to succeed at this. As I have been reiterating all along: this is my last chance at success.

Needless to say, I did take a step back on Tuesday night to re-examine my mental position on all of this. And one good thing about me is that I have self-awareness and I’m willing to call myself out on that shit. I see that my work obsession is not healthy and obviously, I know (via my parents) that work intensity has serious social/family consequences down the road. So, I decided to just chill the fuck out for a day and do Sonoma with J and E on Thursday.

Indeed, it was a great day. We did so much: ate insanely tasty foods, enjoyed the slower pace, the beautiful rustic scenery… I’m so glad I spent the day with them. That said, it made for a LONG day, and after I got home, my THIRD laptop had delivered and needed setting up. Just a quick debrief on the tech situation: As you know, my Acer laptop (4 y/o) crapped out during my first transaction in July. I then purchased an HP Envy 13. I loved it but then the audio kept blipping out. I spent a lot of time troubleshooting– uninstalled, reinstalled, blah, blah. HP said to ship it back for repair for 10 business days. In order to still have a working computer, I purchased a second HP thinking I could move my files to the new one and just return the defective one. After I got the second HP all set up, I experienced the same exact problem as with the first HP– defective audio component. That really fucked my confidence in the brand and the model. So then I wiped the second one back to factory settings and returned. I then ordered a Dell XPS 13.

Long story short, I was up until 1am last night setting up the new Dell: installing all my extra software, setting up email, bookmarks, Office, etc. Everything was done except that I could NOT get Microsoft OneDrive to work. With all my laptop woes, I had moved all my work files to the cloud, and OneDrive was my go-to tool. I’d been using and loving it since July. But I could not get it to sync on the new machine! I spent hours with online troubleshooting. WTF?!?!? OneDrive worked fine on my HP. Finally, I went to bed. Up early again the next day and still no resolution. OMFG. Why is this happening?

I proceeded to spend another 2 hours this morning on the phone with Dell then with Costco tech support. Dell had me “register” the new machine for like 30 minutes only to learn that they wouldn’t provide free support for software issues. They kept trying to upsell me on some tech package. SMH. I was really at the end of my rope this morning. Finally, I wiped the new computer operating system to start again.

Then I went to the office, taking my HP. At the office, as I was trying to print out my open house files, OneDrive suddenly stopped working for the HP. WTF is going on today? I look online and turns out OneDrive had been down for the last 24 hours. ARGH!!!! And I had already wiped all my work on the Dell. Seriously. It was one of those days.

Then, I had a colleague who’s been clamoring to go door knocking together. She’s scared to go door knocking, bc she thinks people will abduct her into their home. Yes. Meanwhile, she’ll readily host open houses ALONE and not worry about her safety then. Makes no sense. Whatever, I tell her I’m going door knocking/flyering today and she can join. She ends up bailing and then I don’t get to the open house until late. I had already printed out so many flyers. So, in 15 minutes before my house was set to open, I hit up like 15 houses on the same street. Then, the open house began…

I got about six parties. I worked with a new lender whom I met recently. She’s a Vietnamese loan officer with US Bank, and we get along really well. I’m thinking she’s going to be my new go-to co-host. We talk about everything: real estate, loans, makeup, shoes, bags, purse organizers… the whole shebang. Funny thing: she remarked last weekend that she has co-hosted open houses with so many agents and she has NEVER met someone who has an Open House Kit. She likes that I’m organized. Also, I earned some big time props last weekend for co-hosting an open house in Seven Trees, San Jose. Before my house (with the bathroom debacle), I was helping my colleague open up a fixer upper in a shady part of town… So I was telling this loan officer how it was a major dump. Turns out, she is familiar with the area bc her father lives near there. She told me today: “Girl, if you are hosting places like that in the ghetto, you are definitely low maintenance.” Haha, music to my ears. Of course, I was very nervous and uncomfortable the whole time. You see, I had seen the pics of the dive beforehand and knew it was bad, but then I was trying not to be all “princessy.” Shit, when I arrived on site and walked up to the house, I could have sworn the place was being occupied by squatters. SMH. Never again, I tell you.

Tomorrow, I’m hosting the same 3/2 ranch home I hosted last weekend. The owner just lowered the price $25k. Hope I get some buyers for it.

Love isn’t a Fantasyland

Wow, I just came across this very insightful post (but kinda ignore the title…), and I love it's brutal truth. In honesty, I believe it applies to all love: family, friendship, AND romantic.

The thing is, the pain you cause each other is rooted in beauty on some level. Because the more you love someone, the more vulnerable you are to them.

Marvels of Medicine

Well another busy week has come and gone. After my candid camera open house incident last Saturday, I hopped a red eye to Wilmington NC to help my childhood friend with her knee replacement surgery.

Long story short, the good news is that surgery went well, and she is already up and moving with the help of a walker. I mean, the entire knee except for the patella was replaced so to me, what another fucking marvel of modern medicine. I was worried at first about her getting the procedure done in small town Wilmington but as it turned out, the hospital staff were incredibly nice and with Wilmington being a big retirement spot, lots of knee replacements are getting done! She seemed to be in very capable hands.

The downside of this trip was basically the realities of adulting. When you're a working professional without a spouse, without many close friends, plus you don't have a workable relationship with your mother, shit gets real real fast.

N is probably my longest friend but she has quirks that make her difficult, esp when she is under excruciating pain and you're a caretaking newb… Man, I was losing my own damn patience, of which there was very little in the first place. Honestly, some days I think it's a shitty deal to be a responsible doer kind of personality. I mean, look at my brother. All he has to ever care or worry about is himself. Doesn't even have to provide tech support, buy plane tickets, call vendors and contractors, research random things, provide any kind of help or support to anyone. And he just skates on by…. Fucking bastard. Oh well. My life is what it is. I'm privileged and lucky on so many other levels. Interestingly, my father shared a Chinese saying the last time they were here: the one who is most competent does the most. I have seen how this plays out with my father and his marriage and family. Sigh.

Anyway, I'm relieved N's surgery went well and it was good to be there as a buffer between her and her mother. I, of all people, understand that. I know too that it meant a lot to have me there, bc N was anxious. Still, eventually, I had to go home, and now she and her mother are left to figure recovery out together.

The whole thing just really highlighted for me how much a spouse contributes to a relationship. I mean, having a partner in life isn't just all about the good times. There are situations where you really need help and support, and so this trip made me see that all those compromises I sometimes complain about… they are worth it bc ultimately, love is a beautiful thing. It requires a shit ton of work so I won't say it's a gift that just gets handed to you, but there is so much comfort and security in knowing that someone really has your back during your most vulnerable moments. Even with all the good friends that I have, I can say with certainly that few people can really fill that space in urgent times of need. I used to always say friends are the family we choose for ourselves. That's only partially true. Sure, friends are helpful and wonderful assisting with the day to day but man, when health problems and life/death shit come into play, it's a different beast. I can use myself as an example. I'm super great friends with J&J, but when they wanted us to be custodians for their kid should anything happen, I declined. That's just not something I'm going to take on. I mean, if I'm not willing to take on kids for my own parents, I'm not going to do it for friends. I guess that really highlights how there are still differences and limits.

I was eager to help N but thankfully, it was a very short period… From her perspective, she definitely could have used more help, you know? Anyway, the recovery is going to be a bitch. She definitely has a very long road ahead. She's off work for a month. Her rental apartment is on the second floor of an old Victorian house. The stairs are crazy narrow and uneven. Thankfully, her mother's house is all one level and there is enough space… but they might just drive each other bonkers. I dunno. It will just have to be worked out.

Meanwhile, in vanity news, my face is all kinds of breaking out. The cysts are back. Of course I got shit sleep while I was in NC. It was seriously like being back in the hospital with my grandfather when he fell. There was minimal down time. Between the constant discomfort requiring adjustments or meds or water or icing or re-propping of pillows and towels… there was a lot going on. Maybe if I had kids, all of this would be NBD. I mean, obviously N's the one going through the thick of it but fuck man, caretaking really kinda sucked.

I'm now on my flight back home. I'm beat, but I'm slated for another open house this weekend. Like I said, I'm still in that mode where I just can't be bothered to chill the fuck out. Not yet.

Manipulator

Well, now I am royally pissed. I spoke with my father a few hours ago to follow up on whether mom started the Parkinson's meds. Dad sounded extremely frustrated and tired. After peppering him with questions, including "Why the fuck isn't she on the new meds?", he said mom wants to only take the deer placenta supplements, and she has decided to stay up in Taipei (even though their retirement home is in Kaohsiung). He said she is going to do what she wants to do. And then I got it. Fucking Johnny! Goddamn asshole.

So now it's almost 1am, and I am fuming. So goddamn angry. Especially having recently watched Betting on Zero, a documentary about a hedge fund manager going after Herbalife for their questionable practices, I'm so freaking. enraged. I started drafting an email:

***

http://bettingonzeromovie.com/

You are a worldclass manipulator. It is beyond me why mom much less anyone should listen to you and follow ANY of your health advice when you have zero medical training and zero science background. You act like you are some Buddhist lover of humanity, but you have only given her and our family a lifetime of pain. Your bullshit is never ending.

Bc of your special status as the first born, you have the unique privilege of influencing her decision-making such that she is choosing to trust a scammer like you over people who have loved and cared for her her entire life. 

Western medicine and pharmaceutical companies are not to blame for killing people. It's people like you who are taking advantage of the elderly and the weak, promising them hope and miracles and unicorns all while misleading, robbing, and isolating them from those who truly love them. I am not blind to your selfish motivations.

If doctors and drug companies are scamming people for money, wtf are YOU doing? Your product costs $400/bottle/month in Taiwan where the average monthly income is $1,300. Your shit isn't even covered by insurance so way to make this "life-changing supplement" accessible. If your intentions with mom are so good, why don't you just charge her at your own product cost? You are an opportunist and a fucking liar. Everything you involve yourself with is cult-like, insincere, and fake. I will never trust you, and it's too bad mom is cognitively impaired and unable to make sound decisions.

In case you need a reminder, I am familiar with your track record. World Finance Group. Your bullying, "Buddhist" club that kept urging me to pay an annual membership fee even though I don't even live in the city to participate in its membership meetings and activities. Now this Riway deer placenta nonsense.

Mom needs to take her Parkinson's meds, you asshole. I took her to a legit neurologist, not some voodoo quack David Koresh "master."

Let's not forget how you have subjected her to nearly half a century of heartache– that which surely has contributed to her emotional, mental, and physical decline. How convenient that now you can step in and offer her a "solution"… and an expensive one at that. I have critical thinking skills and independent judgement, and I will fight you to the end.
***

I'm going to sleep in this, but I'm telling you. Is it any wonder why I have sworn off kids? He is a fucking neverending nightmare. I mean, he has now made Taiwan entirely toxic for me. I do not feel comfortable having my mother live under his influence, and I don't want her getting medical care there either. The medicine there is just not as advanced as in the States. I'm feeling like I want them to move to California esp bc I don't want them dealing with my con-man brother. Even if they can filter his bullshit, it's not good for them.

But what can I say. My mother is retarded when it comes to defending her son. And if she insists on staying there and being manipulated, no one can help her. She's a lost cause. Man, is this why dad has dragged ass about moving there full time? Was he trying to limit her exposure? I dunno. So damn complicated.

Can’t Be Bothered

I was lamenting to my friend M the other day that being in startup mode makes me hyper sensitive to inconvenience. Like I’m so much in the zone, that I just don’t want to be bothered with anything. Examples? A trip to Europe with Bubbey. Or maintaining my side shave. Or going away for the weekend. Or eating lunch. Or continuing that skateboarding class. Or cooking at home. Or getting a dog, even. I just want to focus on building my biz.

And something about that feels so weird. I mean, not so much the vacation or hairstyle or that stuff: I’ve always been reluctant to take time off and leave work… but definitely something seems amiss with the dog thing. I mean, I love dogs so damn much. They have been such a huge part of my life, and to think that I don’t want to experience that relationship and that joy simply bc I don’t want to be distracted feels really narrow-minded. It bugs me too that already we have talked about getting a dog first around my bday in June and then that got postponed to August and now we’re talking about pushing it off again…

I really want to understand why this was happening. Sure, I’m very serious about my business. But seeing as I have been Rovering since Marty died, obviously, I can handle dog care AND the biz concurrently. Then, I was thinking about this mild fear that the new dog won’t live up to my expectations. I mean, after all, I am my parents’ daughter, so the comparison game is all up in my blood. Is that fair to the new doggie that s/he be compared to Remy and Martin, my angels on Earth? And then of course, there are the logistics. I mean, caring for an animal is a big commitment for another 10-15 years and with the overseas relatives and elderfolks and what have you, it can get complicated. Nothing we haven’t juggled before, but like I said, I’m super sensitive about my lifestyle right now.

M said maybe this all just means I need to give myself more time. I’ll do it when I’m ready. But I’m really bothered by my aversion to inconvenience. It’s such a shitty attitude! Some things are worth the bother! For example, I’ve always complained about going home for Christmas and/or blowing my PTO visiting family in Taiwan… It’s always SO much trouble, traveling during the holidays and shuttling around from place to place. But in retrospect, what I’ve realized this year is that if I had given in to my feelings of annoyance and dread, I would have missed some very important final moments with people we love. I did those things prompted by obligation and by compromise but ultimately, it was the right decision. And I feel like getting a dog might be a similar vein.

The point is, as much as I value independence and freedom to do whatever the fuck I want, I’m also a firm believer that there is value in the struggle. Discomfort = growth. Plus, you know the Chinese LOVE the concept of “eating bitter.” The more sacrifice, the sweeter the reward. Ha!

Long story short, I started looking at the puppy porn again this evening. I got Remy when she was six months and Marty we got when he was like 2 y/o. I always thought the next dog would still be an adult. But then I started perusing Copper’s Dream. OMFG. I mean, look at these faces. Already I have like three or four PUPPIES on my short list. Look how beautiful Rhea is!! Great Dane/Pointer. She’s gonna be biggins. Or maybe we’ll do the foster-to-adopt route with Zoey 2. Shit man, it’s like midnight and now I have a major case of puppy fever!!!

Practically speaking, we do have a lot of travel coming up: Wilmington this month, then Seattle/Vancouver and Austin in September, then Taiwan (maybe Seoul enroute) in November… I’m running out of time with my Companion Pass and I want to hit up Portland again, maybe Idaho, Chicago, and Wisconsin… Eek. And work: I gotta get more deals!! Argh. We’ll just have to juggle and make it all fit somehow. Sometimes, the juice is worth the squeeze.

What’s Important

I called my parents in Taiwan this afternoon to remind my father to have the doctor there prescribe Parkinson’s meds for mom. I explained that I had spoken with a few people about the lesser known variants of Parkinson’s and turns out, immediate response to the meds confirms the disease.

He agreed to discuss with the doctor at her appointment tomorrow. Then he asked about this weekend. I said John was back East again, and I was doing open houses. He sounded surprised I was working again… he shouldn’t be surprised but I dunno, he was. Then, he made another unexpected statement. He said he was proud of me. Then he added, “but what’s most important is that you show concern and care for us.” I’m telling you. This aging shit is a game changer. I mean, to be honest, I almost don’t even know how to respond to this level of acknowledgement. I feel like my whole life I have been trying to show my parents that their energies and efforts and investments were NOT wasted on me. Even when they were visiting recently, anytime my father mentioned his friends, as soon as he said their names, he would follow with their kids’ names and their kids’ cv. Seriously. Like last week, he told me this story about how his friend has been trying to convince dad to sell his own real estate in Maryland. Like do a For Sale by Owner. Omfg. “So XYZ was trying to tell me to do FSBO. His daughter Jennifer is an orthopedic surgeon at Hopkins, and his son is a PhD of biochemistry at Harvard.” Blah blah, that is seriously how the conversation went.

So it is really weird now to hear that he is happy my real estate career is growing, but that’s not what’s important. I mean, clearly he and mom were very grateful for their visit. They genuinely had a good time, and my dad sounded kinda vulnerable saying these things to me. That said, it’s a welcome reversal and yet it feels so foreign. Yeah, I’m still kinda perplexed tbh.

Hungry Squirrels

July 10 was a big day for me. First, my deal closed and I handed my buyers their keys. Then, both Bubbey and my parents descended into the town. Bubbey had been on a 10-day jaunt through Europe with his sister (he LOVED the trip!!), and my parents were stopping off in the Bay Area for a week before heading back to Taiwan. What else. Stormy went home that day. It was a good friend’s bday. And it was Amazon Prime Day. Kind of a lot of things all at once, you know?

So the week with the parentals went well: I mean, probably the BEST it has ever gone. Obviously, we have had an extremely conflict-ridden and tumultuous past, so it was both a relief and kind of a shock to just get along for that duration. I know, it sounds so simple, but what can I say, my family relationships haven’t been easy.

I suspect the biggest explanation for this shift is that aging and fragility changes things. I swear my parents used to push ALL my buttons, and then we would argue and yell and I was adamant about always getting in the last word, always winning the argument. Admittedly, I was ruthless. There was an anger inside me that was convinced everything I said and did, no matter how hurtful, was righteous bc it was honest. But things are so different now. My father appears so much smaller, frailer, older that before. He is still mentally sharp and quite lucid, but he is not as ambitious, not as gung ho. He still is kinda preachy with his stories and he will always try to impart lessons/life wisdom but he’s less rigid. And my mom: when I look at her, her eyes convey some spaciness, some confusion. She giggles for no apparent reason. She no longer feels like my nemesis. Rather, she is a harmless old lady. Since her medical issues, they don’t bicker like they used do. Dad is much more patient with her. He explains things over and over, but without the previous irritation. There is a palpable tenderness in how he guides her and cares for her. Their relationship is better bc as J even expressed: they have both just chilled so much the fuck out. It is a dramatic change. I mean, I really had so many decades of conflict and escalating situations… it’s mind blowing to evolve into a relationship that is entirely the opposite of what it used to be. I’m sure mortality and life experience brings about this new perspective. I feel, again that my 40s are so very different from my 30s and 20s. When I interact with my younger friends, I often see bits of my former self inside them: I was such the activist, so insistent on right and wrong, so unyielding with my judgments of others… I realize now just how complicated life is. Just how complex people and relationships are. I still feel a strong natural pull towards this idea of radical honesty… but I also see that other people, even those who hold beliefs or ideas that I oppose, they have pain and hardship and struggle. Life is a beotch for all of us– to varying degrees and in different realms. But there is emotion and feeling even among the most stoical of beings. Ultimately, kindness matters. I have to say, one of the biggest lessons I learned in marriage counseling was that being right isn’t the most important thing, esp among people you love.

So what all did I DO with my family? I continued to work, and some days J was kind enough to hang with my parents. He took them to the Chinese market. We drove them around the neighborhoods. We toured a few homes in MV. I thought maybe we would work on that plan of trying to get them to buy out here, but it’s not happening. Not only is Dad turned off by the price, but Taiwan really is home to them. We found a few tasty Asian spots. We also got steamed dungeness crabs. We made dinner at home and ate out on the patio and sipped some wine. Funny thing: I never really consider J and me as people who are super good at being happy and at enjoying life, but I suppose relative to my parents, we’re like total sybarites. Ah well, that’s a compliment. I’m tired of being chronic mal-contents: there is so much to be grateful for. What else: we took them to play bocce ball, which I introduced to my dad last January when he visited us solo. He LOVES bocce ball. I almost feel like I need to find someone in Taiwan to build dad a court. We also watched some Chinese movies. See? We did so many chill-out things. And I have to say: J is AMAZING with my parents. He truly is such a wonderful son. He asks them things, really engages in conversation with them, he pays attention to things they like… it really filled my heart with joy seeing how kind and genuine he is with them.

As for the logistical things: we took mom to the neurologist at PAMF. I was very pleased, bc he was ultra thorough. He ran the cognitive test, reviewed all her brain scans, and talked with us extensively (for an hour!!). In the end, the good news is that he said her condition is not advanced enough to be dementia. He says she has mild cognitive impairment, which frequently but doesn’t always, leads to some kind of dementia. Observing her interactions and movement, he suggested Parkinsons or a derivative. Then, based on her MRIs, he recommended putting her on stroke-prevention meds. The other recommendations were to walk a lot, stay physically active, and then see neurology specialists about potential Parkinsons. I really like this doc, but the sad news is that my parents are now back in Taiwan and I mean, who knows what kind of medical care they are getting back there. J’s dad also had some form of Parkinsons, and the way that was confirmed was by him taking the meds and seeing a dramatic improvement. I’m going to tell dad to try that with mom and then beyond that, I suppose just up the exercise and social stimulation. At this point, I suppose quality of life trumps all the medical stuff.

I did notice that mom was crazy hungry, esp late at night. Some evenings, I would awake to hear rummaging in the kitchen. Dad was like looking for cereal and nuts for her; mom then got a hold of John’s nougat from Europe (my parents never eat sweets) and devoured that… it was really weird. J and I started calling them hungry squirrels bc of the late night binging. I dunno if it’s her meds or what…

Anyway, I gotta run to my open house now, but overall, we had a good visit. There are more unanswered questions about the future but I suppose the answers aren’t coming anytime soon, so might as well let them simmer.

 

Officially Old

So my friend G is turning 40 next month, and she’s kinda freaking out bc everyone she knows warns there is a noticeable shift when you turn 40. I’m sure some part of her thinks her friends are being overly dramatic, that there isn’t really a threshold that gets crossed… I suppose everyone has a different experience, but if I’m just speaking for J and me, turning 40 was not just some imaginary threshold. Shit got real. Big. Time. Some examples? First off, remember when Bubs tore his calf muscle just from getting out of his office chair to answer the doorbell? Yeah, even the doctor was incredulous bc typically that kind of muscle tear happens when people are running a race and you know, just busting out too fast from the starting blocks. As if we’ve done ANY kind of running in the last ten years of our lives. SMH.

Another example? Bubbey just ordered progressive eyeglasses. I mean, sure he got them from hipster shop Warby Parker. That does NOT erase the fact that he now needs special lenses that allow him to read books. OMFG.

Meanwhile, I am not faring much better. My skin and hair are going to the dumps. I dunno if it’s the stress of a new career or what, but shit is losing elasticity and luster. Also, I had to go to the doctor recently to talk about excruciating foot pain. Yeah, multiple times in a month, I got a shooting pain in the center of my foot. It was almost like a charlie horse or muscle spasm except that pulling back my big toe did nothing to alleviate the pain. And the pain lasted for several minutes. OMG it hurt so badly. Naturally, I did my own research on WebMD and between that and my grandma and dad having gout, I was convinced I had consumed too much purine-rich foods and screwed myself over. Well, the doctor immediately said no to the gout. And then he asked to look at my shoes. I was wearing my red Timberland wedges which I love and never had issues wearing before… until I turned 40. Yeah, those are the culprit, the doc says. The footbed slope is too high. So basically, I was told to take Advil and to do special toe stretch exercises, which essentially entail me putting my pedicure toe separators on my feet. And now I have spent like two hours scouring all the online shoe sites searching for decent looking old lady shoes. It. Is. Exhasperating. I am looking at all the old white lady country club brands: Rockport, Easy Spirit, Aerosoles, Clarks, Dr. Scholls, Hush Puppies… I ordered four pairs from Macy’s and only one pair from that lot might work. I’ve ordered another four pairs from 6pm. We’ll see how those do. Fucking A.

In other news, the lease for my Bimmer is coming up at the end of the year. J insists that I need a bigger car to schlep around all my realtor cargo. Those fucking open house signs are so fucking bulky plus the prep bins plus my mobile command center… So he has compiled a list of SUVs. Since my car will be a tax deductible business expense, I’ll likely do a lease. Still, I’m a cheap mofo and after looking at all the SUVs, I’m now leaning towards a mini-van. Yes, this is perhaps THE ultimate indicator that I am an old beotch, bc I just don’t fucking care anymore! My friend K commented that we will be the world’s ONLY childfree couple living the minivan lifestyle. Truth. That said, the minivan pretty much has the same cargo space as the SUV PLUS better gas mileage PLUS quieter transmission PLUS slider doors. And Bubbey has been hankering for a minivan for a long while (See? He’s old too.). I mean, at the point that I am having to wear orthopedic shoes, I might as well just give in to being an all around frump-a-dump. Seriously.

Tour Guide

Last week, our nieces were in town, accompanying their mother who was working a conference in SF. J and I were in charge of the two preteen girls for two days. Admittedly, I don’t really have much interaction with kids. I guess growing up in my very non-celebratory family and with my cousins, aunts, and uncles living in Taiwan, my family dynamics are generally very distant. So the thought of chaperoning our nieces for two days kind of stressed me out. J was in charge of getting some feedback from the girls’ parents so we could narrow our choices. Long story short, we got the whole “They’re flexible and will do anything” runaround. I know everyone was just trying to be nice esp bc they know we’re like childfree with limited kid experience, but man, the ambiguity only made things more challenging.

Ah well, we went up to SF on Monday, with the plan being to check out Lombard St., Muir Woods, the trolley cars, and Fisherman’s Wharf. Well, I dunno why I was even surprised, but shit, due to traffic and “city problems,” everything thing took forever. Logistically, the poor girls were like trapped in our car for hours with Uncle J driving like a lunatic. Note to self: for any future visit to Muir Woods, drive to Sausalito and take the bus in, bc there is ZERO parking. Parking was so bad, J just circled around while the girls and I walked the park for 90 minutes. Afterwards, we were WAY beyond lunch time and then headed to Sausalito for lunch. At 2:30pm, the wait for lunch was 45 minutes. What? Yeah, we finally ate around 3:30pm and then it was time to battle the traffic back down the peninsula. The girls were great sports about everything, but I’m sure they were famished, windblown, chilled to the bone, and/or bored. For Day 2, we hit up Fisherman’s Wharf, Ghirardelli Square, and the trolley cars. But man, it was so freaking windy. I mean, honestly, I am way over SF. It’s just one of those things where the juice ain’t worth the squeeze. Haha, we have the lowest tolerance for inconvenience EVER. The thing is, ultimately, we don’t even know if the girls had a good time. A part of me suspects that they would have been happiest just hanging out at home watching tv. Shrug. It’s hard to tell with the young-ins, I tell you.