On Monday, I completed my run at ProMatch. I’m still in shock that it was only three months ago when I had joined. Geez, I was so cocky too when I started. I specifically remember thinking to myself: I’ve read a lot of articles and done a lot of informational interviews. I already know most of what I need to know. But whatever, maybe I’ll pick up a thing or two. Boy was I wrong, because holy crap, I learned a shit. ton. And that is not an exaggeration.

I know, I complained a lot about ProMatch being rather inefficient (and a huge time sink). What can I say: I’m an anxious person. I always feel some baseline level of urgency in my life. I was impatient about getting a job. Still, somehow all along the way, the people there really started to grow on me. Yup, I got sucked in. Shrug. So at the business meeting, I delivered my Success Story– a three-minute tale about where I’d landed and how I had scored the job. In my typical M.O., I spent some time prepping my talk. In the end, I couldn’t trim it down to the three minutes, but whatevs. I tried to impart some wisdom and encouragement about this trying and challenging shared experience called job search.

John was certain I was going to lose my shit up there at the podium, but thankfully, I kept it together. Maybe the voice quivered a tad at the end when I talked about all those negative emotions that arise as part of the process: self doubt, frustration, disappointment, inadequacy… my point in mentioning all that drama was simply to keep shit real. Hell, this was no walk in the park, and just because I’d signed a job offer last week doesn’t mean all the issues and uncertainty go out the window. Job search or beyond, I’m going to be inconvenienced by these pesky emotions over and over again. The thing is though, I refuse to let fear paralyze me. Even if I feel doubtful, I will continue doing what I gotta do. The human spirit is incredibly resilient, and thankfully (and remarkably), I have discovered strength even in the deepest depths of my despair. Credit to my friends and myself. Haha.

What else. Man, screw this social anxiety bullshit. Any chance possible, prey and practice on innocent bystanders. Seriously. Orientations, meetups, conferences. I don’t frickin’ care. I just started randomly chatting people up, and heck, before I knew it, my palms really stopped sweating, and my face really stopped turning beet red. Shit man, desensitization works!

Anyhow, I shared a few other pieces of advice while I had my few seconds of glory. Maybe my parents are right after all: sometimes I do enjoy being a little Ms. Know-it-all. Ha!