So remember how I’d rationalized my latest big push in my job search as a good way to practice getting back into the swing of things? Namely, I’d deliberately thrown myself into attending more meetings, and I justified it by saying, “Well surely, my next job will involve a ton of meetings so I might as well start getting back into that (miserable, stab-my-eyes-out) routine.” My fucking god. Is there even such a thing as a good meeting? Are meetings to me like great jobs are to my last info interviewee? Maybe we’re talking unicorns here?

Last month, for ProMatch, I attended a meeting facilitation workshop. It was actually a very informative class that talked about the differences between giving a speech and facilitating a meeting. With a speech, a subject matter expert, or SME, typically shares information to an audience. With facilitation, the person leads discussion but the “nuggets” of info actually come from the audience. So the facilitator bounces around the room, asking people to get their thinking caps on and actively engage providing feedback. OMFG, did I just say “thinking caps”?? Jesus, did I go to elementary school in the 80’s or what?? Way to date myself.

So anyway, the facilitation class was good, and afterwards, I was actually curious to try putting the new skills into action. Enter Monday. Yup, I was the facilitator for my co-leaders’ team meeting, involving eight people. I created the agenda and had one hour. Holy crap, facilitation was like herding cats, for real. Some people just don’t care about the schedule and how much time is allotted to each topic. They just like to talk– even if what they are saying is off topic or without substance. I would try to reel them back in, to get back on the agenda but they would just keep going. Fucking defiant. Afterwards, I was so frustrated with the whole experience. Part of the issue? I probably packed too much into the agenda in the first place. Maybe I was overly ambitious. I think some of the veteran co-leaders should have caught that in the beginning and given me advice. Yeah, so I was irked afterwards, but oddly enough, a part of me also wanted to sign up to facilitate again, because shit, I need to get it right!! Yup, see how I really am a glutton for punishment?

On Tuesday, I met up with my friend B in East Bay. She has been out of the formal workforce for about six years, because she takes care of two little boys. Every time I see her, I get a real glimpse into the parenting lifestyle. Holy crap is it 24/7. Her boys are super sweet, but seriously, between keeping an eye on the toddler and then answering endless questions from her 5-year old, there are zero breaks. Zero. And her patience!! No matter how many questions, she holds a real conversation with the son. I mean, as someone who has been doing all these info interviews and meetings and shit?? Active listening and real conversational engagement takes a shit ton of energy! And now the older son is getting defiant too, so she asks nicely and patiently and then he just ignores her or goes completely against what she says. Yup, I would be flipping my top big time!! Thank goodness I’m not a parent.

So she had her first interview in many years scheduled for this week. I went over and shared my ProMatch and NOVA info and talked about possible answers to typical questions. It’s always cool to hang with her, but I am noticeably fatigued afterwards…

On Wednesday, I met up with my esthetician. I don’t see her much anymore, because for some strange reason, my skin has finally decided to cut me a break. Yeah, it only took like 40 years, right? Haha. Actually, I suspect it’s cleared up, because I stopped drinking milk. Remember the good ol’ cereal diet?? Well, I haven’t been on that kick in ages, so I just don’t consume milk anymore. Whaddya know? No more monster boils and cysts on my face. Now I’m all paranoid to even consume almond milk or soy milk… I’m vain like that. I will give up nearly everything and anything food- and drink-wise for good skin. So I caught up with G. She’s a cool chick, but she has a very love hate relationship with people. I know, don’t we all! It seems that people irk her nerves A LOT. I mean, I get it, because I am uber irritable too. And frankly, people are goddamn dumb fucks. That said, sometimes I think our personal sensitivities, no matter how justified, simply do not serve us. It’s kind of like when J or T get super angry about other drivers on the road… Half the time, those people are just oblivious (I’m one of those drivers who pisses people off but didn’t mean to…), so why turn the whole thing into “They did it ON PURPOSE just to anger me”?

Hell yes, people are ANNOYING. And I definitely have my fights. Hello, Lowes!! But sometimes, you just can’t be mad at everyone. Pick and choose your battles; otherwise, you are really only draining and exhausting yourself.

I’ll give you another example. On Tuesday night, T and I walked over to Snozen for dessert. It’s a little Chinese dessert shop near the train station. We were walking up the bike ramp, and a disheveled (homeless) guy on a bike was in the street intersection, riding towards the ramp. There was enough time that we would be out of the ramp by the time his bike finished crossing the intersection, but he apparently didn’t think so. From his spot in the intersection, he started cussing at us, saying to get out of the fucking way and how we were so stupid to not see how heavy his load was on the bike… I mean clearly, he had issues. And there was enough time that we weren’t obstructing him! But I just said sorry and kinda chuckled to myself that this dude was crazy and getting worked up over nothing. Well then, T started cussing back at him, and they had this short exchange as he biked the other direction down the ramp! And then she was totally pissed and angry afterwards. Admittedly, part of it for me is that I don’t engage with crazies for fear of escalation. You just never know. The other part is, who cares!! The interaction is 10 secs. He’s just not worth my energy. I have so many other places to dump my negativity (my brother, ahem!). Anyway, it was an interesting experience, and had I been with John, he probably would have talked back also, especially given his driving incident exchange with the Chinese mom at my ranch.

On Wednesday afternoon, I went to an environmental NGO in Santa Clara. Some people at ProMatch volunteer there, and I’m considering joining them so I can build my Salesforce Nonprofit Starter Kit skills. So the gig is like 10 hrs/week commitment, and I figured I’d meet a few people and then be done. Well, I was there for about 2.5 hours, and I met 3 people including the ED and the Board Chair. And with each one, I went through the whole spiel: my background, my qualifications, why them, why me, etc. All for an UNPAID volunteer gig. I suppose the good news is that they liked me enough to invite me to join as a business dev manager (minimum 20 hrs/week) managing a team of 5 account managers. Or maybe they invite everyone, since it’s free labor. I dunno. Either way, kinda flattering. But I’m thinking I want to keep my volunteer hours low, so my plan is still to start with the Salesforce implementation and then see if I want to expand later. After all, I’m still hustling for paid jobs.