O.M.G. Some days, people really just blow my fucking mind. Last month, an agent friend referred a buyer to me. You see, my friend services Chinese clients exclusively, so anytime she gets other leads, she sends them my way. Yes, it’s a great resource for business. I’m super grateful to her for this hook up. But dang, as with any leads, you get good ones and you get quite a few duds.

So I set up a call with this new family. They’d been working with another agent for many months and submitted a few offers. I know, that should have been red flag number 1. Nothing stuck, and rather than the problem being that they were low-ballers, they determined that perhaps they needed an agent who was more experienced and more communicative.

So they ran down their list of requirements: single family, location, sqft, lot size, bedrooms, aesthetics. The usual. They gave me their budget. Right off the bat, I knew it was going to be a stretch, bc prices have continued to skyrocket (I’m not even exaggerating), and I mean, there’s a lot of “champagne taste on a beer budget” kind of bullshit happening. They explain that they want a decent amount of space for the newborn and active toddler, etc.

So I spend weeks with them, sending homes, discussing disclosures, reviewing market data, talking about the logistics of making an offer. They had submitted before and yet, given their questions, it became clear to me that they weren’t particularly well versed on the process nor on the market. I mean, here’s the deal. Buyers here think they know everything, so counter to the advice of agents and lenders, many will just start looking for homes (touring open houses) before all their financing and paperwork pieces are ready. Next thing you know, they’ll see the house, then scramble to compile an offer package in a couple days. Forty clicks later on Docusign, they don’t even know what the hell they’ve signed, agreed to, and submitted.

I hate that bullshit bc obviously, this is a massive legal transaction and I find it careless for people to just gloss over the details. Some buyers will even try to push the onus onto me: “I’m trusting that you think all of this is ok.”

I’m like, look, I’m happy to give you guidance but ultimately, the buyer is responsible for signing off on all of this. That’s right, I’m putting the responsibility squarely where it is. Needless to say, from the time of my initial meeting and call, I’ve been hard at work, getting my clients ramped up on what they need to know. It may not be as fun and as exciting as touring beautiful homes (we do that too!), but it’s the real nuts and bolts of getting positioned to win. So from the start, I’m talking to them about a gabillion things like why financing is important, what’s going on in the market, how to read disclosures, how to consider contingencies, understanding the consequence of non-contingent offers, the mechanics of the offer package, the psychology of sellers and other buyers…. it’s a shit ton of information. Each Zoom easily exceeds an hour and then there are all the questions afterwards!!!

As for the homes, it doesn’t even matter how unqualified they are to buy it or how unserious they are, I still do the extra leg work to provide insider scoop, i.e. meaning calls to the list agents, running preliminary comps, scanning the disclosures. Again, a shit ton of work all done up front as a way to get my buyers up to speed AND to convey my value.

So with these buyers, day and night, I’m fielding texts and links and this and that. Frankly, their budget is realistically in townhome territory, but they insist they need the single family home. I’m like ok, but you’ll have to sacrifice condition, size, or location. Then last week, they send me two homes. One was taking offers the very next day. Given the sqft and location (and schools), I immediately knew that place was out of their budget. Even so, I reached out to the list agent to get the traffic stats and insights. HUNDREDS of visitors, phone ringing off the hook, a bunch of disclosures, etc. I share the info with my buyers and what happens? The hubby doesn’t even believe the info. He suggests the list agent is bluffing. Then he reasons: the home has been on the market for 15 days and hasn’t sold. I want to offer $50k below list.

WTH? First off, it got into contract after just 2 days on market with multiple pre-emptive offers and it fell out of contract just yesterday. The days on market counter didn’t reset even though it was under contract. Details like that matter. Then he insists that the condition needs a ton of work. Yeah dude, you weren’t even among the hundreds of visitors to tour the place. Everyone knows the condition: it’s clear from the pics and the reports. Anyway, back and forth, he wants me to write this lowball offer and doesn’t understand why we can’t “just try”. And that’s when I’d had enough of his bullshit. It’s Sunday night, I got all the info for you, and ran the comps, and you’re not even using this data to position to win. I’m not writing, bc I’m not in the business of writing losing offers. Yup, let that sit for second. That’s how I said it too. He was stunned.

Seriously, bro. Go “try” and waste someone else’s time. You think you know better? Then go use someone else. Yup, my second time in five years where I set a boundary and refused to give in to their nonsense. It just became so clear to me that they don’t trust me. Here I was being my usual gullible self, all optimistic and hopeful that these people would want to learn, that they’d be open to information and advice with the ultimate goal of winning. Nope. They just want to use you and abuse you. There’s no fucking respect. They just think I’m someone to open the damn door and then they want to try for that needle in the haystack deal that doesn’t fucking exist. And frankly, if it DID exist, you’re def not the buyer who’s positioned to win that one either! Like, are you paying all cash? Nope? Then, next.

Yeah, they don’t give a damn that it’s a Sunday night and I’ve got plans and what, I should just drop everything to get it done? Sure, I could cobble the essentials- just the purchase contract and be half-assed about all the other elements in the package but nope. I’m known for being tidy and thorough with my paperwork. I’m not going to be half assed and incomplete.

Two days later, the home was in contract. List agent said it went well over 1.65m. I suspect over $1.7m even. And they had wanted to submit at 1.45m. I’m telling you. Not. even. fucking. close. The second home they were interested in was listed at $1.5m and got into contract for $1.8m. When I passed along the info, not even the slightest acknowledgement for how WRONG they were. Whatevs. As Bubbey says, some people are just losers: they will just continue submitting losing offers, bc they won’t adapt enough to win. As incredulous as that seems to me, I suppose Bubbey is right.

Like I said before: I know this is a crazy market. I know these prices are insane and outrageous. It’s not for everyone, so please conduct your own honest self-assessment, weighing your ability, your finances, your tolerance for risk, your adaptability, etc. Once you’ve committed to the goal of buying/selling in this market though, my job is to help you win. Don’t sabotage your own path to success.