Well it’s been another several weeks since my last posting… what can I say, my life is a fucking roller coaster. For some reason, the lyrics to Katy Perry’s Hot N Cold song come to mind:

‘Cause you’re hot then you’re cold
You’re yes then you’re no
You’re in then you’re out
You’re up then you’re down
You’re wrong when it’s right
It’s black and it’s white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(You) You don’t really want to stay, no
(You) But you don’t really want to go-o
You’re hot then you’re cold
You’re yes then you’re no
You’re in then you’re out
You’re up then you’re down

Here’s the deal: I’m telling you. I encounter all kinds of people in my new line of work. This month, housing inventory went up significantly (spring is here!) so I returned to my bread and butter– open houses. Of course, it never gets easier. Every week, I run my search on Monday and start emailing about 50 agents one by one. I reach out to more people now bc fewer are saying yes. I know, there should be a more efficient way to automate this shit, but I have a template and then I manually update various fields within the text with the agent’s name, the property name. etc. Anyway, yeah, I reach out to a shit ton. Then, by midweek, I check the status on those properties and see if 1) the status has changed or 2) open house hours are posted. If they are still active and no hours are posted and I didn’t receive a reply, I text the agent. Yup,I look up their cell, add it to my phone contacts, and text message. Again, cut/paste replacing certain fields. I actually found an awesome tool recently called Qpush that’s a browser extension: I type my message in the browser on my laptop (I’m so much faster with a full-sized keyboard) and then the app “pushes” the paragraph to my phone into an app that easily lets me copy/paste. Not that you give a shit about these logistics, but I used to craft the message by thumb typing into the Notes app and copy/pasting into SMS. Too. slow. Anyway, Qpush– check it out. So back to the open house hustle: if I still don’t get a reply to my text by Thu/Friday, I call the agent. Eventually, I get someone who’s keen on my idea.

So last weekend, I hosted for a Menlo Park property for a husband-wife brokerage. MP is in San Mateo County (higher median home price) and I’ve only hosted a handful of properties there. My past open houses tended to be in the crummy parts, and my traffic/leads sucked. Not so this time! This spot was wedged between a busy Safeway shopping center and the Stanford Mall!

The list agent offered me Saturday. It was slow I think bc it was the last weekend before taxes. She was going to host the next day but then she didn’t feel like it, so I offered to host Sunday also. Like I’ve said before, I always try to co-host with a lender. Mostly for safety reasons (Dad STILL calls me to tell me not to leave the house at night and to carry my mace everywhere), but also bc I view it as a good opportunity to build lender relationships. If they get leads from me or my events, it’s a good thing for all of us, right? Unfortunately, my main lender has only gotten 2-3 loans from all my open house leads since we started collaborating last August. I’m telling you, this numbers game is a beotch. Anyhow, since Sunday was last minute, I didn’t line up a co-host and I had to ask Bubbey. He doesn’t like to be a fly on the wall at these things, but he’ll do it. And lemme tell you: thank goodness he did. Bc a weird, frazzled looking guy came upstairs. He just had a strange look– bug eyes and crazy hair– and he didn’t take off his shoes like the sign instructs at the door. And then he rambled on and on telling me the stoop was dirty and I should be better about making the home presentable. Mind you, it was super windy and so yes, there was some leaf debris on the stoop. So this was like his Good Samaritan tip and then, oh btw, he’s a successful equities trader and serial startup entrepreneur AND he’s also trying out for the Warriors NBA team… Mind you, he hasn’t practiced bball in six months… blah, blah. I asked a few more questions, only bc I was certain there was some real estate point to all of this. Nope, he was just random. And later, Bubbey said I need to be more careful about engaging with crazies. So here’s the deal: he was harmless but I am so relieved I was NOT alone. The house is on a super busy street so to make it more appealing to visitors, I keep the windows shut so it’s quiet. But that also means, no one would necessarily know if I needed help…

Last weekend was slow but I was thrilled at the time to pick up two leads. One elder lady came by. Honestly, she looked like an old Asian grandma– you know, weathered, small, and carrying tons of shit in plastic bags. She was actually a Filipino lady and she was timid, but before she headed out, she told me she had multiple properties to sell. I booked an appointment for the following week right then and there!  My first actual booking done at an open house! Yeehaw. We made an appointment for Friday. I was so excited.

So first thing on Monday, I call her to ask for the addresses: I want to do my homework so I can prepare for our meeting. She starts reading off the addresses, but it was hard to hear her with all the background noise on her end. I told her to email me the list. I texted her my email. A few hours later, she calls to say she doesn’t have email and she’ll drop off the list at my office. Huh? No email??? Next thing you know, she comes to the office and she says she took the bus. Huh? Homegirl supposedly owns FIVE properties in Silicon Valley and she’s taking the bus? So she shows up and I’m telling you, she is carrying so much stuff, including a 10-inch stack of papers in a plastic bag, plus two fleece jackets. My instincts are telling me this woman is impoverished. Her hands are super cracked and dry. What is going on???

We sit down to go over her list. She furnishes a bunch of deeds plus paperwork for a divorce, a bankruptcy, and a death. I look up the properties one by one on the computer. Her name is on NONE of them… As I probe with questions, I uncover a very complicated web involving her deceased father, her siblings, her ex, her ex’s family… nothing is adding up. I ask to scan all the files, so I can review them more closely and also I’m thinking I can provide her with e-copies so she doesn’t have to lug that shit around. She says she has no access to a computer.

I tell her I need some time to review the docs and then we can go from there. She tells me she has to go to work after our meeting. She works at Safeway. I offer her a ride. I also offer her a fabric bag so the plastic doesn’t eat into her fingers. I offer her water, ask if she needs to use the bathroom. No to everything. She says she’s fine. I walked her out and then I just sat there in disbelief. That’s the thing with this business. One minute, someone tells me they have a $1.5M budget. The next day, the budget is $150-200k. This lady? One day she has five properties to sell; the next day, there’s no proof that any of them belong to her. After she left, I felt awful. Why didn’t she just let me give her a ride? She looks like someone who’s endured. I really wonder about her story.

After combing through every page, I consulted my mentor. Yeah, she needs an attorney. Then I got a call from the lender whom she also contacted. The lender said she wanted her to share account info for her deceased father. But no docs show power of attorney or designation as administrator… In other words, she has no proof of decision making authority. The lender tells me this doesn’t make sense.

So I call the lady back and her phone goes straight to voicemail. I tell her I need proof– like a power of attorney or document showing she’s the trustee for her father’s estate. Then Thursday arrives and still no word. I call again and leave a message saying we can’t proceed until I get those docs. For now, let’s cancel Friday’s meeting. No confirmation from her.

Finally, on Friday morning, I’m like: what if she shows up– taking the bus and lugging all that shit? I go to the office just in case she turns up. Our meeting was at 11. I go there and then at 11:45, she calls and says she is walking up and down the street, and she can’t find my office. What??? Clearly, she didn’t get the voice message and also, what does she mean she can’t find my office? She was just there a few days ago! OMG, what is happening?

I meet with her again and explain the same things. She says she doesn’t have a lawyer. So I look up area legal aid groups and some resources for her. The story just is so bizarre. I wanted so much to help her but it was beyond my scope. I asked to see her phone, bc I was curious why she hadn’t gotten my vms or texts. It’s a shitty Trackfone and she never has it on! In fact, she still hadn’t listened to my message or read my texts. I mean, how will I do business with someone without email and without a phone?

Off she went again. I really pushed to let me give her a ride, but she refused multiple times. Was it pride, shame, or the habit of being a loner? I dunno. I really wonder about her situation. It sounds like her ex screwed her over and there was a lot of deception and manipulation. But I dunno. At the same time, her claim that all the deeds are fictitious or false also seems unlikely. I asked if she had a good relationship with her siblings or anyone on his side or her side of the family. I felt like I was missing something and maybe one of them could provide some clarity. But she said she didn’t have good relations with any of them. She thanked me and said she would find me again after all the stuff got cleared up. I sure hope one of those legal aid groups can take on something this complicated. The whole thing was mentally exhausting. I mean, not only bc of the roller coaster for me workwise, but more bc I just don’t know if anyone will/can help her. That poor lady. Life really is unfair.

That same open house weekend, I was packing everything up to shut down. And as usual, a couple came wanting to check out the house. Ok, fine. The lights are all off and all my shit is packed but I never turn down a possible lead. It’s a Russian couple with a baby. We chat and then I ask about their search. They basically say they aren’t working with anyone and would love to work with me. I offer to set an appointment and they say they need to check their schedule. So the hubby gives me the wife’s number. I call it so she has my number on her phone. I tell them I’ll follow up to set a date/time. That was Saturday. On Monday, I call the number and it’s another one of those bullshit “vm is not set up” things, which I’m beginning to think is some indication they have blocked my number and that’s what I get on my end when I call. Still, I naively send a text message. It shows it delivers and that she reads it. No reply. I send a few more texts with dates. No reply. Now I’m pissed. WTF? You said you wanted to work together. Why bother if you don’t intend to follow through? So I do research and find the hubby’s name and contact. Same deal: call the number, send a text. Same shit. And just like that, two great leads come to an abrupt end.