OMFG, my body has been all kinds of fucked up the last week. First, I had been fureaking out about my homebuying class, which was tonight. Usually, I am not THAT bad about public speaking, but I suppose the combo of having to deal with the lagging home reno plus my prospecting class plus delivering a real estate preso for the first time ever, plus worrying about all sorts of other “adulting” familial matters just put my stress levels through the roof. I was having constant tummy aches; my fingers were numb; I was having diarrhea for like days on end… it was seriously getting out of control.

On top of that, I had to prep the preso slides– most were existing content from my coach, but they were not in any kind of consistent template and the ordering was all non sequitor. When I spoke to my coach, he kept telling me that typical turnout is 25% or less for such events. And then my lender did not prep his slides. We were supposed to do a dry run rehearsal last week and now it was the day before, and he didn’t have any slides done. In fact, I got his slides two hours before go time tonight.

Long story short, my body was revolting. I’d started prepping my talk a few days ago and I did a few dry runs. Bubs is always more critical than not: Confusing here. Not enough emphasis there. Too many slides. blah, blah. That commentary was yesterday, so I was already feeling up to the wire. More tweaks. Bubs is just so sharp on that shit… all that business acumen from his startup days I think. Ugh, I was feeling underprepared and not good enough!

Somehow though, I woke up today feeling calmer than the previous two days. I kicked off my day with many tracks of Meditation Oasis… thanks, G! That shit is specific too, with stuff on like emergency anxiety relief. Thankfully, the day started off ok. I attended a volunteer event at the office and felt moderately calm. Then, in the afternoon, I did one more dry run with Bubs two hours before show time. More feedback. More tweaks. Fuck!!!

The good news is that 19 people registered and 12 people attended. I was disappointed that NONE of the attendees were people from my door knocking and flyering/canvassing efforts. Two came from my contacts who passed along my info. Four were people from my last job. The rest found out about my event on EventBrite. Of course, as 6pm came around, I was starting to worry bc only 3 people were on time. And my coach was telling me to start on time out of respect for those who were punctual.

My talk went ok. Bc of the stragglers who came in after I got started and I made last minute tweaks, it wasn’t perfect… there was a part where my voice lost confidence bc I expected a different slide than what was next. But whatever: Bubbey said he was really proud of me. And my own coach said he could tell I’d done public speaking before. After my part was done, my coach came in for a few slides and then the lender came on. He went so slowly, I was really getting antsy. But it was weird bc even though he got way down into the weeds, people asked questions and that indicates at least some interest and engagement.

Many people also stayed afterwards to talk to me and well, I’m going to follow up and hope this converts into something. I’m just so relieved it’s done. Several areas to change, but I’m happy with the outcome given that it was my inaugural talk as a Realtor. Shoutout to Bubs for prepping all the food and snacks. I’m grateful also to my former colleagues who attended, as well as my neighbors who helped me spread the word.

Tomorrow, we’re headed to Nashville for a long weekend. I honestly did feel like I was breaking this week, but thankfully, I am ok and I will enjoy our time with my college bud J and his gal. Next Wednesday, I graduate from my sales class. I will say, that shit has been a struggle every damn week… with the activities and some bizarre brainwashing/quasi-cult things. I spoke with a colleague today who is also participating and she said every class, she wants to leave and not come back. It was interesting that she had similar doubts and repulsions bc I felt like I was the only one not drinking the KoolAid. More on that stuff later. I def grew a lot and so many things would not have happened if it weren’t for the class: cold calling, door knocking, canvassing, my homebuyer class… still, it’ll be nice to exercise my own adult judgement on what is appropriate in terms of how to proceed.

Ok. I am beat but still mentally wired. Going to try to sleep now.