It feels a bit funny to admit this, but I think I’m finally coming into my own. Jesus Christ, I sound like I made in through some coming of age rite of passage or something… it’s just that, this last year has been especially bumpy for me. You see, when I first embarked on this whole exploration/discovery/search, I really had no idea what was in store. Sure, I’d read about people facing identity and self-esteem issues, but truthfully, I never thought that the drama would hit me at the magnitude that it did. John’s frequently called 2014 the shittiest year ever, between my confidence crisis and Remy and his job bullshit. I’d never thought to write off the entire year with such an all-encompassing disappointment and pessimism, but after he termed things that way, I kinda saw the rationale.

Thankfully, these days I do feel stronger, more resilient, and just overall more encouraged and inspired. BlogHer was a pretty good conference. I mean, yeah the sessions themselves were kinda hit or miss, but the keynote speakers were sooo inspiring, and the connections proved more fruitful than expected. First, I love a good talk. My high from being re-energized and motivated can easily last me several days. Second, I definitely want to try some new things on my site with affiliate links and basic monetization, just to tinker and see how it all works. Plus, I am considering creating my own graphics and maybe even trying the video content… I don’t want to bite off more than I can chew, but whatever. Why not just try some of these tools? Maybe in the end, I’ll still be destined to writing only, but I figure I might as well look and see.

Hanging out with E was a total blast. She was really sweet to introduce me to several of her friends. As it turns out, two of the ladies even have nonprofit leadership experience!! I definitely noticed lots of grad/professional women at the conference this year: a ton of lawyers and MBAs, which surprised me. Maybe more people are craving the creative outlet blogging provides.

What else. At the Expo hall, I talked to several reps at their booths. I kinda used the experience as a way to listen to spiels, practice my own attempts to build quick rapport, AND score some free products. Yeah, BlogHer is crazy commercialized. There’s always TONS of swag. I made a very strong effort to be minimalist this time around, but I still left there with bags, supplements, vitamins, oral care, a frickin’ board game, a new tote bag (to replace last year’s Beano tote), and the like. Interestingly, Khloe Kardashian made an appearance on Saturday for HairFinity. When I saw her in person, she seemed totally normal-sized– tv definitely portrays her like an Amazon. But then E actually got a picture taken WITH Khloe, and she insists that the lady is giant. Then again, E is super petite, so figures. Guess it’s all relative. Kim and Kourtney are like Liliputians next to their sis.

Kerry Washington spoke at lunch on the last day. I know, I’m such a gusher, but she was so smart and articulate talking about her craft, her activism, her family life. She sounded so damn grounded. Naturally, she’s now my latest gal crush, and as much as I hate to watch tv, I might have to add Scandal to my watch list now.

Sadly, I didn’t see my badass blogger Flourish in Progress. So sad. Based on her Instagram, she and I were both at the after party, featuring Rev Run of Run DMC, but I didn’t see her. Argh. Yeah, the DJing was pretty good: tons of super old school shit, and the crowd went nuts jumping around all over. You know me: I was surrounded by it all, standing in a sea of fun-loving people, and there I stood: awkward, stiff, and totally out of rhythm. I swear there is no hope for me. Dance Central ain’t ever gonna teach me the beats and moves. Ah well. At least I felt less self-conscious than I’ve ever been under similar circumstances.

We stayed out pretty late. After the organizers kicked us out, we all headed back to the hotel and one of the ladies in the group who flew out that night gifted me her swanky room at the Fairmont. John even drove down later that night to live it up with soft, luxury sheets and full-on air-conditioning. Can you tell we’ve had a series of heat waves here? It’s been hotter than hell, and our house is a goddamn solar oven. Needless to say, Fairmont was our savior. All in all, I feel good about the connections from the conference this year. I definitely talked to more people and made strong enough connections that I think we’ll keep in touch. Yay![FAG id=7417]