I’m always fascinated by how quickly a paradigm can shift when you talk to people about dogs. Having lived with my beloved R & M for the last 16+ years, I often catch myself assuming that everyone is a dog owner. I suspect that people with kids adopt a similar approach: their children become such an integral, ubiquitous part of their lives that they forget not EVERYONE has that same life experience.

Several months ago, I was walking the dogs at the neighborhood park. Mind you, Remy and Martin are about a different as two dogs can look. One is a shepherd/shiba mix with caramel/black coloring and a dense, fluffy coat and pointed ears. The other is a lab/pointer mix with short, dark chocolate brown fur and floppy ears. I remember these two adults approached and asked me if the dogs were related. Uh, no. They are no related AT ALL. Duh! Afterwards, on the walk home, I just chuckled to myself: boy, those people really know nothing about dogs! Haha. But it was a good reminder I think to just realize the flaw in my assumptions.

Several weeks ago, I was walking with R & M at the park again. Remy was walking in her usual, somewhat belabored manner. To me, because she’s walking, I am amazed by how well she’s doing. But to strangers who look at the fluidity and speed of other dogs running around at the park, there is something wrong with Remy. They always have this serious look of concern on their faces. Sometimes, they will even feel compelled to ask, “What’s wrong with your dog? Is she ok?” I can sense that they are partly wondering, “Who is this chick, walking so far ahead to the park, playing on her phone, while her dog clearly looks uncomfortable and is struggling?” (I walk several yards behind Martin, because he’s eager to get there, and several yards ahead of Remy because I don’t want to rush her so she just moves at her own pace). I feel like inside they are judging me as a dog owner. Then I explain that Remy is 16-years old: she has arthritis but the vet tells me to keep exercising her so her muscles don’t atrophy. Immediately, their demeanor changes and their paradigm shifts. I propel from being a sub-par, negligent dog owner to a frickin’ hero. “Wow, you have taken such good care of her for her to live to such an age!” Isn’t that funny how people’s judgement can swing so quickly from one extreme to another with one explanatory statement? I think it’s so interesting, and it reminds me of Steven Covey’s book on the habits of effective people. If I’m recalling accurately, he tells about a time when he’s riding a public bus. There’s a father riding the bus with his two pre-schooler kids. The kids are bouncing off the walls, completely out of control, and the father just sits there in a stupor. People start giving him irritated looks like, “Wtf? Control your goddamn kids.” Then someone asks him if those are his kids. He replies that yes, they are. Their mother just died at the hospital. And immediately, the tone shifts from one of contempt to sympathy. I guess in both cases, I am reminded to give people the benefit of the doubt. Really, you don’t know the story until you ask.

This evening, Remy had another episode- the third one in a week. Before when this happened, I used to panic and then shake and cry. Now, I know that the moment only lasts a minute, and then it’s over. Later in the day, she’ll be back to her old, curious, snack-seeking self. Sure, I wish I had definitive answers as to why and what was causing all of this. I write notes in my calendar to try and observe patterns. For some reason, I feel less stressed by all the unknowns. Maybe I’m becoming comfortable with uncertainty. I mean, I still look things up, and tonight I searched for “syncope after meals.” Interestingly, with people, sometimes syncope occurs due to sudden drop in blood pressure or change in heart rate. It can be postprandial hypotension where syncope occurs after a meal when blood floods to the intestine for digestion, or it might be postural hypotension (which occurs with old people), where prolonged standing causes changes in blood pressure that the body has trouble managing. I really don’t know. Remy does stand when she eats from her bowl. I elevate her bowl because it’s supposedly better for her neck, plus I thought it was good to strengthen her hind legs, but I dunno. Starting tomorrow, I’m going to try two things: feed Remy smaller, more frequent meals  and maybe have her move around the house to get it so she isn’t just standing still (vs. walking). I suspect the blood pressure is different standing vs. walking?? We’ll see what happens.