The last few weeks have really illustrated to me the power of setting intentions. As you know, in early February, I started working with a coach, specifically for my job hunt. Honestly, I was very skeptical and reluctant in the beginning, but holy shit, I can truthfully say, big things have happened since. First, I can’t even express how debilitating my catastrophic thinking had become. It was still in fits and spurts, but man, when it came on, it was paralyzing. I still believe so strongly that my year-end sickness/depression/funk were all attributed to my poor mental state. Learning to re-train my brain a bit in how it reacts and responds to negative thoughts has been a total game-changer. Second, there is really something powerful about accountability. I mean, I consider myself a fairly disciplined person. There are some exceptions, but generally, when I say I’m going to do something, I follow through. With coaching, we establish a list of intentions (action items) every week, and I have to say, even with my discipline, there have been weeks where I came close to NOT completing my action items. Were I on my own, those items would’ve just moved to the following week. But with my coach, a few days before my next call, I go through my list and really force myself to get it done– almost like a homework assignment or something. The pressure of calling her and saying that I didn’t finish my homework from the previous week is so great that I will work on those info interview requests late into the night. No matter what, I meet that deadline. Third, the power of intention. Really. Who the fuck knew? In the last several months, I’ve been going to networking events, trainings, and conferences pretty regularly. As someone who used to have extreme social anxiety, I felt like I had pretty much conquered that limitation years ago. So my mere attendance at these events was already many small victories in and of themselves. But my coach asked me, “Do you want to set an intention for this upcoming tech meetup? or this conference?” Say what? Wasn’t it enough that I was going? Nope. By her question, I realized that I had gotten complacent with these events. I thought just showing up was sufficient for getting what I needed out of these things, but that wasn’t true. There was so much more there. So for the first tech meetup, I set an intention to 1) ask questions publicly during the talk and 2) make a real acquaintance. I talked to a lady who did communications work for Sierra Club. Super cool chick– someone I hope to see again at the next meeting. Not immediately useful per se, but she was a learner with really good political savvy, which I found insightful. Second, I managed to ask TWO questions during the talk. It was weird, but by going in with the intention of asking questions, it really kinda forced me to listen better and to concentrate, and it was really kind of liberating to get over that intimidation and just get involved in the discussion. So different!

So then yesterday, I went to a women’s leadership conference. I hadn’t really set an intention for it other than to go, learn, and be inspired. But over lunch, my friend L asked what I was wanting to get out of the event. And it just reminded me that really, I should have set an intention beforehand. So after lunch, I thought yes, I really should make some contacts. When I got back, I happened to sit next to one of the morning session panelists– a former journalism professor and current communications head at LinkedIn. She was a sharp lady who had a lot of really good points in the discussion. Just as she got up to leave, we made eye contact and then, I talked with her (again, not my usual MO). We only exchanged a few lines, but I thanked her for the session and said I really admired her courage in transitioning from tenured journalism prof to comms work at a startup. It must have been scary but also exhilarating. And then I gushed a bit about LinkedIn and how much I use it… Late last night, I sent her a connection request and bam! Now we’re connected, and I even think I would feel comfortable and confident enough to contact her again to do lunch. See? Isn’t that just crazy? For me, this is so in line with what I’ve been reading about with networking and connections… And yet I see now how I really had been holding myself back for so long without even realizing. I mean, I talk so much about how much relationships matter to me, how much communications matter and yet, I had already erected so many walls thinking that these humans wouldn’t want to interact with me because of xyz. But isn’t communications all about transcending those barriers? In my interviews, I talk so much about using tech to give sterile agencies and organizations an authentic, human voice to connect people both online AND offline because at the end of it all, progress and collaboration need real human connection.

I will always have a preference for written communication, and I will continue to feel reluctance and doubt and nervousness with strangers, but at least now I feel confident enough to move forward face-to-face anyway. And that’s been surprisingly liberating.