I know. These last several posts, I’ve only obsessed about how exhausted I’ve been from hustling so hard. Today’s post isn’t about me. Refreshingly. It’s about my friends who are parents to young children. Yes, multiple ones all under 5 years of age. You see, I had lunch the other day with a friend who popped her second kid four months ago. Prior to our meet up, she dropped me a line out of the blue, and I could just tell that she was maxed out. The sense I get is that parenthood, at least in the beginning, isolates people. Their entire social life shuts down, and life boils down to basic survival. I know, it sounds like hyperbole, but this is a theme that just keeps coming up. Massive sleep deprivation and back to basics level of functionality. Friends, fun, entertainment, a night out, a rock concert? Gone. Done. Sure, it’s a trade off– for just a “season” but dayum, these people are running on empty.

When I went over to my friend’s house earlier this week, she looked fine, but when I sat down and talked with her, I could see her absolute frustration. Baby no. 2 was not a good sleeper. He had acid reflux, and she was getting up every two hours. She said every night, at the end of the day, she just longed to sit there alone to not think of anything. She says it’s just a short period where she doesn’t have to think of the next thing to do… it’s almost like a time of pause to mentally rest. And then the night begins (with the wakeups), and everything repeats the next day. I’ve heard a few people now describe this…

She was telling me how hard all of this is. Last weekend, the family went to visit a relative. When they arrived at the apartment complex, the older kid suddenly decided to throw an earth-shattering tantrum right outside in the parking lot. She described 20 minutes of complete chaos, of uncontrolled screaming, and she was simply beside herself on why he was doing this. The neighbors all came outside to see what was going on… there were no words to even explain.

Today, a FB friend posted this piece about parenting: I suppose the answer is to cut yourself a break or two, try to preserve a sense of self, maintain a program of self care and marriage care. Sounds so complicated, especially if you’re just surviving day to day. And what if you don’t have access to childcare that you trust? I don’t know what the real solution is here. I just feel like my parent friends need to get out more often. They sound pretty beaten down.

Btw, this was an interesting read on relationships/marriage, also discovered via FB. I dunno about Tip #12… sounds a bit animalistic to me, but the other advice sound pretty solid.