I’ve watched this video three times, and every damn time, I cry tears of pain, anger, and frustration. When I first watched, the subtitles were limited to just a few scenes, and I had to watch again to better capture the full dialog. So many of the most heartbreaking moments weren’t translated… But now this version is complete.

I cry bc this video illustrates just how integral Chinese parents link their happiness to their childrens’ life choices. It reminds me of something I once read regarding Tiger Moms: something to the effect that American parents just want their kids to be happy. Chinese parents just want their kids to be accomplished.

For sure, Chinese culture is all about struggle and sacrifice, and yet the irony is that while the parents sacrifice to give their kids a better life, payback is a royal beotch. And ultimately, what the parents demand back is ridiculously selfish.

It just kills me, watching the mother explain that bc her daughter is not very pretty, that’s why she’s leftover. (Insert nervous laugh… also a very Chinese thing.) And then that dad?? Jesus, basically saying her status is going to be the cause of heart problems for him… It just makes me sick. And I thought Catholics had the guilt thing down.

Some of the women choose to be single and are fine with it, except that the peanut gallery won’t fucking stop harassing them. In the cases where the women clearly want to find love but just haven’t (and surely it already upsets them), now in addition to the existing disappointment, they’re criticized for embarrassing the family, for causing the parents shame and heartbreak, and for deliberately depriving their parents of a fulfilling life. Sound familiar? It’s goddamn exhausting. That’s the annoying thing about filial piety: singledom (and child-free living) is a form of disrespect.

And then that scene where the daughter breaks down and apologizes to her parents… Argh, the whole thing is just so wrong! I’d like to send this video to my parents to show them how ridiculous and hurtful they and their family can be; then again, they’ll probably totally miss the point and just insist that the video reaffirms how important their stance is. I mean, the video itself is supposed to be uplifting at the end, with the parents seeing the true beauty and strength of their daughters, but I dunno: I’m skeptical. Those values are fucking deeply engrained. No quotes or profiles posted in a public park gonna trigger an epiphany. Just saying: these days, I have very little faith.