It’s been a while since I’ve flown on China Airlines. I was totally expecting an airplane packed with Taiwanese people, but as it turns out, the flight was code shared with a gabillion other airlines, including Vietnam, Indonesia, and the Philippines. Here I was bitchin’ about the nearly 14-hr flight, and for so many other passengers, there was way MORE to go! Eek!

I landed in Taipei around 6a on Saturday morning. After I refreshed in the airport bathroom and made myself presentable, I hitched a bus to the high-speed train to the metro, and then walked in the god-awful heat and humidity to my parents’ apartment. I cannot tell you how many times in the weeks leading up to my trip my parents kept giving me directions (some of which was wrong!). Um, I can look shit up on the internet. Also, dad kept wanting my aunt to meet me at the train station to show me the way home. Jesus-fucking Christ. I’m almost 40 y/o: I can use maps, read romanized Chinese signs, and speak Mandarin. I’m fine!! So I showed up at the door, and mom acted like it was a goddamn miracle.

As an added welcome bonus, my brother J was already at the apartment. He had come down from Taipei to Kaohsiung the night before. My family is always force-feeding relationships. Interestingly, he was decently tolerable and seemed actually helpful/caring with my maternal grandparents. Maybe times HAVE changed.

Man, dad had been complaining about Yebbie (maternal grandfather) getting fat, but I thought he was just overreacting. Nope, Yebbie is indeed quite rotund! What a difference from last May when he was hospitalized after his fall. He and Nai Nai look ok though. They were plopped in front of the tv with the volume at super high decibel, but it was good to see them.

I settled in, took a shower, and then got out all the medical forms my dad asked me to bring over. Immediately, mom started insisting that I have my grandparents practice writing their sigs, bc sometimes they’ll sign outside of the box or whatever. Huh? I gave them the form and pointed exactly to where they needed to sign. Done. On the first try. Mom was all surprised. Holy fuck, she’s needlessly obsessive and cautious. I tried to talk to my grandparents a bit, but either they were distracted by the shouting tv, or they just didn’t have much to say. In that sense, it wasn’t so bad having my brother to talk to, even if we talked about re-incarnation. The thing about J: He’s a very personable, smart guy who can make topics like re-incarnation sound totally legit and academic. Maybe all that thespian training. Since joining his religious cult, as I call it, he’s been getting into all of that meditation, positive psychology shit… which I have also explored, but independent of religion. Kinda weird to have some overlap there. Then again, I haven’t exactly implemented what I know about positive thinking… I dunno. Maybe there’s hope with mending that relationship. Not sure.

At lunch time, we all walked to a nearby noodle shop.  It took about ten minutes just to leave the apartment, bc mom had to shut all the windows, lock her bedroom door, and check on the stove for the fifth time. OMG, borderline Howard Hughes. After we returned home, I conked out in the afternoon. In the evening, J and I took mom for a walk just in the surrounding blocks. Mom doesn’t get out much, thanks to years of full-blown codependence on my dad. With dad back in Maryland for several months, I think she just stays at home cooking and cleaning. My aunts actually come twice a week to bring groceries and visit! I mean, clearly I’m judging bc I think it’s ridiculous to get to this point where you are fully able-bodied, and yet you convince yourself that you’re paralyzed. This just furthers my case against this culture of filial piety and being overly hospitable/helpful: people become stupid and incompetent, bc they are never allowed to try things on their own. There is so much goddamn hand-holding!

On Sunday, my paternal grandfather in Wulong (30 minutes south) invited the family for lunch at a fancy sushi restaurant. My father got all involved, and he wanted my aunt to drive 45 min from her house so I could follow her back to Wulong. Dad, I HAVE GOOGLE MAPS!!! Finally, they let us drive unchaperoned. Google maps estimated 45 minutes, so I planned for a 10:30a departure. At 9a, I went down to the building gym with Yebbie, and my mom started harassing me that we don’t have time bc I’ve never driven in Taiwan and we need to go early just in case. I ignored her and continued. At 9:45a, she came down all frantic bc we’re going to get lost and arrive late and people will be kept waiting, blah, blah, blah. Fucking full-blown neuroses!! Fine, we’ll leave ridiculously early. Again, ten minutes to leave the damn house, bc she has to check everything. We get in the car, and immediately, she (who hasn’t driven in five years) starts being a backseat driver even though we’ve already established that my brother knows the way AND he is holding the map. On the drive there, for every conversation I’m having with my brother, my mother answers for him and interrupts. She has THE worst social skills: she doesn’t listen, she inserts herself into other people’s conversations, she cuts people off… zero self-awareness. When we bring it up to her, denial and excuses. She says no one has ever complained to her. She’s an only child, blah, blah. An entire car drive full of friction and aggravation. I wanted to pull over and kick her out of the car, she pisses me off so badly. And wowee, look at that: we arrived without any incident! What a surprise. And guess what else: everyone else was late! SMH.

God help me for Day 3.