Tonight I went back to reread some of my posts, and holy fuck, there were a gabillion typos!!!! Embarrass, occasion, steals, and many more… And I call myself a writer! Tsk, tsk. I mean, yeah, I’m cranking these babies out half asleep (hence the nose bruise STILL) but shit, where’s the damn spell check on this WordPress iPad app? I look like a fucking dumbass. Not cool, man.

So the weekend was fun, productive, but also stressful. I had a great time chilling with T and M for Craft Club. That was fun, and my horsey wool buddy is looking kinda cute. I still want to turn him into a zebra, but those stripes are gonna require some major hours… When I went to leave, I could NOT find my car keys. Twenty minutes of digging through my bags and purse and checking throughout the house. WTF? Finally, M found them in my black craft bag, which I had checked multiple times, feeling around the inside compartments and pockets even! How did they get missed? No fucking idea.

After that stress, I went to see M’s house for the first time ever. So fricking nice: new construction, lovely sunlight, a huge patio, really nice decorations and art inside… Seriously. None of my Ikea, Mickey Mouse, freecycle, put cheap prints into Michael’s frames bullshit. The thing is, she takes care of her shit, whereas we abuse our stuff. “That’s why we can’t have nice things.” After seeing the ridic level of cleanliness at both places, I got home and started a scrub down. Yup, the bag of rags (old socks and clothes) came out. I did the baseboards, the window sills, the windows, dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, etc. In other words, I was exhausted. The next day, I pretty much just chilled. In the evening, as I was getting ready for bed, I could NOT find my work phone. Holy fuck. Not again. I searched the usual places. Did the Find my Friends app, which suggested it was across the street on a grassy median. Fucking A. 12:30 at night, and I am out there in shorts carrying a flashlight. I kept going around the spot where the marker was blinking on my screen. No luck. I re-searched inside. Then I saw cockroaches by the front door. Seriously?? I have never had problems with roaches. Later, in the middle of the night, I got up again and I saw a roach scurry away in the bedroom. WTF?  So then I researched roaches at about 3a. Baking soda. Like a maniac, I scattered baking soda all over the damn house, yes the same spots where I had earlier mopped and vacuumed to perfection!!

This morning, I woke up at 6a to go search for my phone again. Again, nothing. Argh!! Why am I misplacing things? Then began an entire cascade of self-abuse. What is wrong with my brain? I am losing my mind. This is the Universe’s way of punishing me for criticizing my mother, blah, blah. I tried to recenter. It’s just a stupid work phone. I’d been wanting to upgrade anyway. Just figure out what’s involved for an upgrade. Calm the hell down, crazy woman!!

The roofing estimator came by at 10. I had found his company on Yelp, where they had a shit ton of high marks. I also checked Google Reviews and BBB, etc. He was a super nice guy, and wow, having had two other companies provide quotes, he was the only contractor who said a spot repair was all that was needed to give us another 3-5 years. Hallelujah, mother fuckers! That was the sole good news of the morning.

Ok, I’m tired, so time to wrap this up. After work, I came home and searched again for the damn phone. For some reason, I decided to look in my car AGAIN. I looked under the seat. Then I looked super closely. There it was, fucking wedged in THE tightest of spaces between the driver seat and the middle console. I had to squish my hand in a very strange contorted fashion, but what a frickin’ relief!! I found the goddamn phone!!! Now, time to sleep.