Monthly Archives: August 2024

Airport Pickups

Last year, J and I watched a movie called Chloe— it was a psychological thriller starring Liam Neeson and Julianne Moore as a couple/family who becomes entangled with a prostitute, in part bc the husband and wife fell into a routine and lost their connection. Somewhere in the film, the husband (who traveled for work) asks the wife, “When did we stop picking each other up from the airport?”

Having gone to couples therapy many years ago, I remember being in that period of disconnection. During that time, J was entrenched in the work of a startup, while I was at a government job that gave me the best work-life balance ever. But we were like two ships passing in the night. I think about how now, with him being retired and me being an agent, our roles have reversed. As my own workaholic tendencies have resurfaced, I catch myself in moments where the day-to-day suddenly feels very routine and automatic.

That line in the movie resonates with me, though bc it’s a reminder that gestures are important. That’s not to say I’ll take J to the airport at 4am or in the middle of rush hour, but if it’s relatively feasible, I do try my best to take him or pick him up. After many days apart, I like to think he’ll appreciate seeing me again soon after he lands.

It’s not an explicit bid for attention, but I think gestures/instances where one partner anticipates the needs of another are important. I try to notice and appreciate when someone shows some forethought and exercises consideration. For us, these actions really have been foundational to our longevity. Speaking of which, we are coming up on 28 years together. It hasn’t all been smooth sailing, but I feel very lucky and fortunate.

Learning Rampage

I’ve been on a learning rampage lately… First, my real estate license is set to expire this year in November, so naturally in true VG fashion, I downloaded all the course materials in March and started EARLY with the classes. There were about 14 classes/45 hours of credits. Anyway, I started in spring and then wrapped everything up with the quizzes and tests in July. So now my license is renewed for another four years, woo hoo!

After I finished with that, I came across a free registration to an online senior pet summit. Even as a kid, I’ve always had a fascination with dogs and horses. I used to read all the sections in the Encyclopedia and also borrowed books from the library about grooming, care, diet, and training. Since Bentley is now 11, I thought the summit was especially timely. It was so interesting and covered a broad spectrum of topics from diet/nutrition to physical therapy/massage to nail trimming (so much more important that I ever thought) to euthanasia. It was soo good, and I came away with lots of new tips.

Meanwhile, here’s the update on Benny. Since the start of the year, his hind legs started getting very weak. The vet initially tried a combo of meloxicam and methocarbamol, but that didn’t help. We went off of it and just slowed down our walks. Then in April, we went to Carmel Valley Ranch for a few days, and Bentley really started to struggle with the uneven terrain. A few times, he lost his balance while pooping, which of course, is a full-blown Code Red. As soon as we returned to town, we went back to the vet. She wanted to try the methocarbamol/meloxicam mix again. Did it again and also added physical therapy/laser treatment. The PT recommended that we change out his harness, bc turns out the Easy Walk cuts off their front legs’ forward extension (covered in the Pet Summit!). I also tried doing more massage. No real improvement still.

We then tried Gabapentin, and that actually resulted in ataxia (back legs imbalance), so it was meant to treat possible pain and stabilize his mobility, but the dose was so high that it made things worse, and he was stumbling around all over the place. Backed off the gabapentin. then went to prednisone… of course all these meds are trying to attack the problem from different modes, like muscle relaxants, pain relief, nerve pain, arthritic pain, etc… The pred, which he was on before when he had the TWO autoimmune diseases, was also too high and resulted in stomach ulcers and diarrhea. Cut the dose on that…

Needless to say, it’s been a very bumpy ride. Now we are on the fifth med called Librela, an injectable monoclonal antibody for arthritic pain. The vet said that we may need two doses to see any changes. Right now, no real improvement unfortunately, but we’ll try again with the second dose next month.

Yes, the process has been super frustrating. But we are plugging along. The hind end harness and stroller are helpful.

Btw, I just came across this article last night. I wasn’t in full frame of mind looking at it in bed, but this morning, I listened to the audio and then it had me crying inconsolably. I know what’s to come sooner than later, and it’s going to be serious heartbreak. I just hope I can maintain awareness and perspective to do what’s right for Benny when his time comes.

Winds of Change

The good news is that so much has changed since my last frustrated, disenchanted post. Thank fucking goodness Biden stepped down, and now we are in a totally transformed state of energy and momentum and hope. I am sooo STOKED about KH. Right away, the people around me were skeptics and cynics and doubters (despite being supporters). Jesus, who knew I was surrounded by a bunch of Debbie Downers… nonetheless, my enthusiasm could not be smothered, and as it turned out, neither could that of a who deluge of people. I mean, she raised SO MUCH DAMN MONEY in the first 24-hrs alone! It was awesome to bear witness.

And since those early hours as the new guard, she’s raised even more. Meanwhile, Trump has gotten flustered, and his previously “disciplined” strategy has been blown out of the water, triggering him into reverting back to his old ways of spewing more outrageous garbage out of that damn piehole. Don’t get me wrong, he’s never been moderated (at least from what I’ve been reading), but he’s going off script now more than ever and Jesus, it’s insane how much this shock jock continues to ramble on with his bullshit.

I have to say, I was on the fence about the whole NABJ event. From an academic standpoint, I do think there is value in discourse and presenting opposing sides… it’s just that Trump isn’t really a person who’s presenting an opposing side in any kind of interactive way. His language is just continued hate mongering and racist/sexist fake news that only adds flames to the fire. Nothing he says is ever presented in a manner that contributes to a productive discussion. So then, are these platforms just giving him more free airtime? I dunno what the real answer is on this, but I’m definitely torn.

At the NABJ event specifically, I thought the moderators did a good job staying calm and redirecting back to the questions BUT he was clearly verbally abusive and having a tantrum— should they have given him a platform in the first place to direct that negativity towards them?

I do feel reinvigorated, and I am finding myself following the news more closely… in that sense, this change in the ticket has given me something new to study and follow and care about. Meanwhile, I am already ramping up my activism. My friend G turned me on years ago to Vote Foward, which is a nonprofit organization that focuses on getting out the vote. I have already started my letter writing activities… I’m so excited for November 5. I am feeling very hopeful and optimistic, and so far the stats are looking favorable for KH. YEAH!!!