Monthly Archives: May 2024

Shit Week, Big Day

I had two closings slated for this week. Both deals were moving along swimmingly… the first one closed Tuesday, after the Memorial Day holiday. All done, everything smooth, all parties THRILLED. And then the seller didn’t get her wire proceeds. On Wednesday, the first wire was sent back to escrow… some issue with the For Credit To. The second one went out, and Thursday morning that bounced back again. My seller was freaking out: she was on the phone with her brokerage, the escrow company… Never happened to me before. The brokerage rep said all the instructions on the second wire looked perfect, and she was perplexed that the Federal Reserve sent it back. The escrow company then escalated to their accounting department. A third iteration was made. Meanwhile, I was feeling so frustrated. People have no idea the amount of work that happens behind the scenes shepherding all the details along. You get to the end, and all is beautiful and then this kind of shit crops up literally ruining the entire deal in one late fumble. All the client will remember now are the two days of stress when she didn’t get her money. All week I’ve been sleepless, frustrated by the pieces where I have no control. I started inquiring all the details for Plan B in case that third wire bounced back again. Could it be a glitch with the Federal Reserve (happened many months ago)? Should we try a different account to deposit the funds? If we went the route of a check, could a courier deliver to any branch and staff there make the deposit? How soon would the funds be available? All Wednesday afternoon and night, I’m making calls and mulling over the details. THANKFULLY, Thursday morning the funds finally arrived. First fire extinguished.

The second deal was supposed to close on Wednesday. Due to two of the three buyers being out of state AND the lender requiring all three to sign on the same document (no counterpart signing allowed), we had a notary sent out last Friday. After the signing, she was supposed to drop off the package to FedEx on Saturday, so it would be back in San Jose first thing on Tuesday morning after the holiday weekend. First, she dropped it off on Tuesday, so we didn’t get it until Wednesday. Second, she did a shit job stamping her notary acknowledgement page, meaning the rubber stamp was half-ass and completely illegible. When the escrow officer realized the stamp was not valid, she reached out to the notary to re-stamp and FedEx another page back (another day lost). The notary didn’t get back to her until the afternoon, and on top of that, the notary was on vacation out of town. Yup, FML. So that meant, all three buyers needed to re-sign with a different notary. Long story short, bc of this half-ass bullshit first notary (I mean, you have TWO jobs: stamp the files and drop off at FedEx), we were looking at a one week delay in closing, with financial consequences. I was so pissed; my buyers were so stressed and upset… again, we got to ONE DAY before closing with a very smooth deal and then shit hit the fan.

For the second deal, we had the buyers and a new notary hustle to re-sign. The second notary shared a scan of the signed file showing the clear stamped acknowledgement. The FedEx arrived this morning, and the lender is slated to fund shortly. Fingers crossed, this will get through the finish line later today. I can’t help but be a bit gun shy due to the random hiccups from this week, but it’s now as far along as we can take it.

In other news, after this very stressful week, I’m very happy about the unanimous Trump verdict. Wow, finally, there is no confusion or disagreement about his role in all this chaos. I’m disappointed that he can still run and he can still serve, but for now, what a day to feel some relief and redemption and faith that NOT all is lost.

Making Sense of it All

I stumbled across this article today, and it’s a reminder of how little any of us really understand about depression and mental illness. The way this guy speaks of his wife who committed suicide 8 months ago… even in a relationship as old as theirs where there are also kids involved, the confusion and grief and surprise is heartbreaking.

Stan Van Gundy reveals wife died by suicide in August: ‘I just don’t think I’ll ever get over it’ (msn.com)

As Van Gundy explained it:

“She took her own life, Dan. I’ll never — I don’t care how long it goes, I can’t imagine that I’ll ever get over that… It was devastating. We’d been married for 35 years and had been together for close to 40 years, since I was 24 years old … my entire adult life, I trace everything, job changes, kids, everything, I was with her and she was by my side.

“I never, ever, envisioned that I was gonna live another day in my life without Kim. Never envisioned that. I knew she was going through a tough time, but I still never envisioned that happening. Even now, it’s been eight months and I struggle to come to grips with the fact that I’m never gonna see her again and I’m trying hard, you can relate to this I’m sure, to stay connected. I don’t want to — my house is full of pictures of Kim. There’s a montage of pictures above my bed that my kids did for me of Kim. I’m trying hard to remember her voice, to remember her smile, all of those things, but more than anything, to live her values, because her values were better than mine. 

“She taught me a lot and I want to live her values and a life that she would be proud of. And my kids at times over the last eight months, at times, not often, but I think genuinely from their point I’ll do something and they’ll say, ‘Mom would have really been proud of you for that one.’ That above anything else really makes me feel good, because my wife was an incredible person and the loss is huge.”

Van Gundy said he has been “doing as much therapy as I possibly can” and that he knows he will get better, but when it came to regret, he said “I just don’t think I’ll ever get over it.”

A larger topic was how death has become an unavoidable part of Van Gundy’s life, revealing that his brother Jeff’s best friend had died a week ago due to cancer. He said one thing he’s working on in therapy is how to process what clearly comes across as depression:

“I’ve had very little tragedy in my life until my wife died. Very little, I’ve just been blessed. But as you get older, man, it’s just all around you and it becomes part of you life. It’s one of the things I’m trying to deal with in therapy, besides the loss of my wife, how do I deal with this? Where’s the joy in life? How do you go on day to day? How do you find stuff to do. I can function. I don’t know about you but I can get up and function every day. I do what needs to be done. But I don’t have much that I want to do right now and how do you have that when you’re just seeing tragedy and death and sickness all around you? I know that’s going to be a huge part of my life now.”

Tax Tedium Times Two

Every year around tax time, dad gets all stressed out about “all the things” he has to do. Um, I’m the one collecting and collating all your damn papers for the accountant. I’m the contact person for your estate attorney, accountant, banks, and financial advisor. Sure, I just grab the paperwork, he does still sit down and fill out forms from the CPA… Nonetheless, it’s a bitch and a half. And mind you, I don’t even do my own taxes!!

Needless to say, we hit May and I was feeling home free knowing his tax stuff was done for the season. Nope, not so fast. Apparently, dad recently got wind of some new tax deductions that he can claim on his Taiwan taxes. Yippee! So I got another couple of calls the other day. First, he was insistent that he needed files from the IRS. I’m like, you have all the e-files from the CPA. Just use those. Your 1040s are in there. No, it can’t be something I submit, it has to be official from the IRS. Huh? Who is telling you this? He can’t explain, but just do what he says. Meanwhile, I’m thinking what the fuck is more official than your 1040 with CPA signature– the same doc that lenders use for loans??? He was insistent, so there I go again being sent on another fucking wild goose chase. Normally, whatever, create an IRS account for him and drill down the menus looking for these records that he needs. Well, the IRS recently cracked down on security, so the old account I created for him years ago is no longer valid. Now they require live camera/video verification of identity where you have to take screen shots of your ID, upload, and then verify with a LIVE PERSON. Sounds like a reasonable enough protocol except that my dad doesn’t know how to use the fucking camera on his phone (I still get Facetime videos of his inner ear canal) much less his computer camera. Like he keeps telling me his computer doesn’t have a camera. Dad, I bought you that computer two years ago… it has a goddamn camera!

Anyway, through a miracle of God and a combination of being on his landline, remote tunneling into his computer, and using his iPhone, we were able to jump through all the hoops and get the account created. Then, I find the forms he needs. Grab everything, move it to his computer, print it out for him from my computer tunneling into his computer. You have no idea how tedious these tasks are. Finally, it’s done. And I’m thinking, ok it’s good we have an updated IRS account for him, and now I can pay his taxes for him through that portal.

Two weeks later, another call. I need your help and it’s very important. Of course, all your shit is “very important.” Now instead of the documents back to 2021, he needs all the way back to 2017 AND he needs for Maryland and Federal. What. the. fuck. How much are you saving with this bullshit? Another $5? No, no, it’s more than $5. Yeah, let’s save more money that you’ll never use. I’m like, just contact the CPA and request the files. No, it’s in the two suitcases of tax papers that I stored at your house when I moved back to Taiwan. Oh, the suitcase that you originally wanted me to FLY to Maryland to retrieve from your friend’s basement? I mean, surely the CPA has electronic copies. No, no, you just have to go through the two suitcases and find the 1040 and the Maryland tax return and send them to me. Oh, that’s all???? And hmm, how come last time you told me the 1040 tax returns weren’t what was needed and now all of the sudden, the 1040s suffice? WTF, I’m not a damn idiot just executing on your busy work.

Two plus hours later, I’ve pulled out all the paperwork, disassembled the tax binders that are held together with insanely strong staples which require John and heavy-duty pliers to remove, scanned, and sent the files over. Oh now in addition to the Maryland tax returns, I need proof of all payments made to the Maryland Comptroller. Back to 2017. Yeah, fuck my life!

And btw, the Maryland website is some Frontpage bullshit. The farthest online records go back is 2021. Oh, well can you call and ask about the earlier ones? No. I can’t. Requests for anything beyond requires a special form and NOTARY signature. Thank fucking god, For once, this notary requirement saved my ass. I can do no more on this task. The rabbit hole stops here.