Well, it seems that the shit has hit the fan worldwide. I thought we were all doing good with SIP and flattening the curve and all. Nope. The world is literally falling the fuck apart.

Personally, I am getting more and more accustomed to being in hunker-down mode– I love not having to commute/drive plus the time has allowed me to focus on various aspects of my business. I had discovered some new resources and was experimenting with new marketing strategies. Things were feeling on the upswing.

And then, leave it to family drama to put the kibosh on everything. As you know, dad came back Stateside in February to do his taxes. Then, SIP started mid March and he got stuck in Maryland until now… that’s right: four months fending for himself living off frozen foods, Chipotle, and the occasional DoorDash order.

Meanwhile in Taiwan, mom’s condition and delusions worsened (my insane brother insisted that she stop taking western meds), and that required my aunt to take on her care. Finally, in June, dad decided it was best to make his way back to Asia.

He flew out to SFO last week and stayed here for a few days. Here in Santa Clara County, things are still mostly on lockdown, so we just remained on the Houseboat– cooking meals, running errands, eating outside, etc.

He brought a huge stack of papers for me to go through– long term care policies, living wills, power of attorney docs… Ugh, so much shit to manage. We had a call with an estate attorney here, and she confirmed that shit is going to get complicated, especially with him being a resident of Maryland and he and mom planning to live as expats in Taiwan. State laws, country laws, challenges with documents being in English or Chinese, plus getting files notarized. I’m telling you, whatever the most circuitous path is, that’ll be what I’m fucking tasked with. It happens with my transactions for real estate and for anything related to my family.

Long story short, we had a decent enough visit. Dad always has a lot to talk about with John– they bond talking about the economy, business, the stock market, and politics. I focused on his to do list and updating his computer, confirming flight info, updating forms, whatever. Thankfully, the weather was pretty mild and he got to get some Vitamin D– my absolute biggest perk of being in California. We took Bentley on walks and even played badminton in the park.

Of course the last day here, multiple calls occurred back and forth to Taiwan. Johnny is asking for money again and it is literally the SAME exact dialog that I have suffered through for the last 25 years of my life. After listening to that bullshit for an hour in my living room, the volcano erupted.

Why the fuck are you and mom still dealing with this bullshit? He is NOT going to change, just like you are not going to change. Fucking DO SOMETHING to stop this recurring nightmare, i.e. be done with this toxic relationship.

Blah, blah, you don’t understand bc you’re not a parent. Yadda, yadda.

Whatever. You and mom are not the only people in the world with a problematic child. Other people figure it out by setting boundaries and moving on with their lives!

I went to bed and could not sleep all night long. The next morning, I called his shit out. You don’t respect Johnny, and Johnny doesn’t respect you. This toxic relationship has gone on for 25 years without resolution or reconciliation. It’s never going to change. You have never valued anything that he is passionate about, and you don’t have to. But since neither side can peacefully co-exist, it’s time to be done. People fall in love and get divorced. Things don’t always last forever. Time to end this facade.

You have never supported Johnny. Giving him money is not the same as believing in his writing, acting, filmmaking, artistic pursuits, and/or interests. You don’t have to respect or appreciate the same things he values, so just stop pretending like you’ve supported him when you haven’t. You’ve always made conditions for your love. If you can’t accept his path and you can’t shut the fuck up complaining about it and how easy it should be for him to be better or to be more, leave. You have always made us feel like we were not enough. For me, I am just now letting those scars heal. Johnny may be damaged forever AND on top of that, he probably has mental issues from the all-natural supplement Seeds of God crap he puts into his body. Please just be estranged and let everyone go on in peace. Both sides are at fault. Both sides caused emotional abuse and irreparable damage. Enough is enough.

At this point, I’m considering calling my brother to ask him to just let go and stop communication with the family. What is the point. Go on your merry way and do whatever the hell you want.

Btw, you may also want to talk with a counselor or mental health specialist. I cannot help you but hopefully, you can find someone who can. Goodbye.

Yup, that’s how I want to endz it. Brutal honestly. I’m out.