My friend G lamented once that Chinese people don’t know how to have fun. It’s kinda true. Most other cultures are frequently dancing, singing, partying… celebrating things. But Chinese (immigrant) culture? They obsess over depressing themes of struggle, sacrifice, shame, regret, and overall discontent.

Surprisingly, my grandfather Yebbie ran against that grain. He found joy and pleasure in simple everyday activities like: riding his bicycle, listening to music, repairing broken gadgets, polishing his leather shoes, enjoying a cold bottle of Heineken…

My maternal grandparents lived with us from the time I was six years old. Every day, Nai Nai (grandma) and Yebbie prepared and cooked signature Chinese specialities for our family: from dumplings to zongi to pork with mustard leaves to ribeye steak with A1 sauce (ok that one’s American)… Yebbie was the ultimate foodie.

Throughout the 1980s, when Yebbie would drive us an hour away to our weekly Chinese school, he’d scout out the area while we were in class. Not only did he find several Chinese grocery stores stocked with all the special ingredients, he also discovered a local lake to go fishing, as well as a video rental shop for Chinese movies and soaps. He’d rent out the entire season and we’d binge watch together (before there was Netflix) while chomping on Planter’s honey roasted peanuts.

My grandfather was a man of many talents. He was a cook, a mechanic, a skilled fisherman, and a formidable mahjong player. He was also pretty damn fashionable despite being in a family of frumps. He had a penchant for Nike cross trainers, Adidas track pants, leather goods, Tissot watches, and Ray Ban aviator sunglasses. Pretty much he was the badass Chinese mobster boss of Frederick.

Yebbie passed away on December 12. He was in his 90s, but sadly he contracted TB a few months ago and suffered complications/side effects from the meds. I realized only recently that he was the first true bon vivant I’d ever met. Even in his final years, he remained active and mentally sharp— beating everyone at the mahjong tables and ordering the latest goods and gadgets off of the Taiwan QVC shopping network.

Cheers to you, Yebbie. I don’t know how you put up with a family full of uptight, austere, neurotics. We appreciated your senses of humor, wonderment, and adventure. Thanks for showing us there’s more to life than academics, tests, work, and money.