Admittedly, I spent some amount of time this spring/summer wallowing– oh about my frustrating aging parents, my imploded listing, Bentley’s health woes, my aunt’s cancer, my slow business and empty pipeline…

Things finally turned around in July. Just as I decided to fly back to Taiwan to visit my sick aunt, I got my clients into contract. I’d met the hubby many years back, after I’d left the govvie job, through a job networking group. As soon as I earned my real estate license in late 2016, I started sending eblasts to my acquaintances and friends in that group. I saw G now and then, maybe every year or so since 2013. This March, he said he and the wife were looking to buy. We met for a buyer consult shortly after.

In the beginning, things were rather discouraging. They were adamant about a single family home (vs. townhouse/condo), but it was out of their budget in the area. As the year evolved, and rates came down, and the market shifted, and they grew open to areas farther out, a charming 1920s Craftsman an hour south came onto their radar. Competing with two other interested parties, we were able to swoop in and get into contract. Let’s just say that was the easiest part of this transaction. Over the next 30 days, it was a constant struggle with communication, responsiveness, and paperwork… When I was in Taiwan, I called the list agents daily at 3-4AM (15 hr time difference) to poke and prod with paperwork and negotiations. It all turned into a broken record really fast: plenty of promises and verbal assurances and then no deliverables. Deadlines just blown right through. Unanswered emails, unanswered texts. Full vm boxes. I’m telling you… how are they even in the business of real estate?

After I returned Stateside, more of the same. When I did manage to catch them via phone, lots of politeness and courtesies to my face, but in reality, zero consideration for me and my buyers having to drive 60 minutes to the home and no cares at all about the contract nor the schedule. In the final three days, there were lots of surprises: delays for the walk through, assurances that the house was cleared out only for me to find appliances missing, lots of personal property and trash left behind, no keys to the locked gates… The original Sunday walk through was first postponed to the morning of closing (Monday) even though when I contacted the agent on Saturday, she had said all was good to go. Then Monday morning, the day of closing, the washer and dryer went missing. On Tuesday morning, the rescheduled day of closing, the washer and dryer were back but then the fridge disappeared. And the water was already turned off, and there was a ton of stuff in the toilet. You have no idea. It was almost comical how shit unfolded in the final two days.

We did finally close on Tuesday, with repeated promises from the list agent that the fridge would be returned that afternoon and the keys all provided at that time. At 3:30pm, 5pm, and 6:30 pm, I’m still texting/calling the list agent asking where the hell the fridge is. Internally, I was losing my shit, but professional VG kept her fucking composure, I tell you. Fridge arrived at 7 pm. No goddamn keys and the seller was a resistant asshole, insisting to my buyer that the locks had already been cut. Flat out lied to her face, but she wasn’t about to escalate with a 6-ft plus linebacker-shaped dude. Two days later, still no keys for the gate locks. My people even purchased their own bolt cutter, but in the end, the locks were so darn heavy-duty, the pros were called.

As soon as my buyers told me about the professional locksmith, I ask the list agent to reimburse my clients to make this right. No response. The next day, I called/text again. No answer and vm box is fucking full. The thing about me, though: I am a goddamn bulldog. She finally calls me back and says her clients offered to cut the locks for my clients. No they didn’t. They insisted that the locks were already cut. Liars. OMFG, WTH are you talking about? We had already closed. Your sellers are legally required to provide the keys by 6pm. Fucking bullshit. She says the sellers don’t want to pay. I don’t give a fuck what your sellers say/do. At this point, you charged 6% commission for your services, not including staging costs and other separate pricey charges to your clients. My side only got 2.5%. This whole transaction, I had to ride ass… nearly the entire 30 days. On delivery day, the house STILL wasn’t cleared out, the fridge was gone, and the keys were not all provided. On top of that, your dickwad clients shut off the water and left tons of crap in the commode!!! You promised a resolution on the outstanding items by the afternoon on Tuesday. We were left with just the fridge and no gate keys at 7 pm. Come the fuck on. Step up to the plate and have some goddamn integrity. I started arguing with her, and I was fuming afterwards. I complained to J and he said, “Well what did you expect those agents/sellers to do? They’ve been sloppy and sketchy the whole damn time.” Touché, but still. Call me naive, but I expected some kind of conscientiousness.

The good news is that I have another transaction under my belt. I’ve worked things out with my buyers, and they are super pleased, so I’m very thrilled about that. But goddamn, I can’t help but have a bad taste in my mouth: I feel like an unspoken agent code was violated. I’m telling you: not all agents are the same. Be very selective when you choose your representative. For my part, I will be sharing my experience with the office, so others can be forewarned about these hooligan agents.