Monthly Archives: June 2018

Keep Striving

This post spoke to me today, as I woke up feeling rather defeated and frustrated…

My life completely changed in 2010 when I met @em_henderson. I had been living in New York doing random production design gigs when a series of family tragedies kept bringing me back to California. I had to pack up my things and head home. My parents were still living in Yosemite then and I was staying with them, occasionally coming to LA to do random art department jobs. When I applied to work on Emily’s show I had no idea I was applying to be in an on-camera role. But somehow, magically, the audition tape I made, in which I did a cheesy routine where I put on 20 different hats to show I could “wear many hats” made it through casting. My twenties were a mess of a) not knowing what exactly I wanted to do and b) graduating into the worst economy in modern history. I’d been designing spaces my whole life, so it wasn’t a surprise that this might be something I’d do professionally. I think the most humbling thing I’ve learned in my professional life is that hard work and success are not as directly correlated as were led to believe. We are told, “work hard, you will succeed.” But no one ever says, “hey sometimes success is due to random ‘breaks,’ opportunities you never would have seen coming.” I say this because I think it’s important for people who are struggling to gain footing in their careers to not fully blame themselves if they’re not reaching their goals as quickly as they’d like. Yes, your work and intelligence matter. But also you aren’t fully in control of the opportunities that come your way, you can only do your best and try not to be too hard on yourself if success evades you. I have no idea where I’d be if I hadn’t gotten the role on Emily’s show, but I have the feeling I’d be nowhere near where I am now. I owe my career to a casting director in Canada who liked my face and personality. And I have mixed feelings about that. My four Ivy League degrees weren’t enough? The fact that I’d been working since I was 14? My point here is that if you have success, recognize the luck and privilege that brought you here. And if you’re struggling, keep striving but don’t beat yourself up too much if “getting there” takes more time than you expected.

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Charity Wrapped in Dignity

I always found it strange that people would skimp on leaving tip for the hotel room housekeeper; yet whenever they went to a coffee/sandwich shop or even a bar, they’d leave a generous tip for minimum service. To me, it was a gender and race thing: of course the immigrant woman tasked with scrubbing the toilet, changing your sheets, and making your bed would get stiffed while the young hipster barista (oftentimes male) could easily score a handful of dollars just for grabbing a ready-made pastry or pouring a hot drink from a pot. The disconnect always bothered me and I never could articulate why it was so disturbing. Tonight I came across this video, and it captures the essence, I don’t like to use the word “unfair”, bc hello, this is life: it’s never been and will never be fair. That said, I like the concept of charity wrapped in dignity and I hope I can do more of it.

I saw this on LinkedIn

The Reality of this Market

Well it’s been another rollercoaster ride over here on the #RealtorLife. Last week I partnered with an out-of-town agent who had clients looking to buy in my area. From Friday through the following Wednesday, I went on one heck of a rollercoaster ride.

I know it was only a brief period of 4-5 days, but boy, did I bust my ass working on this. For example, on Monday, I was on the phone all day. I had 40 phone conversations, part of my due diligence tracking down answers and doing extensive research on behalf of the clients. In the end, we lost out. The lesson learned? This market is still a seller’s market, so despite recent shifts, it still moves FAST. Homes continue to go into contract without contingencies in less than a week.

As a former engineer, I understand that homebuyers want to be thorough and careful. I identify strongly with wanting to comb through every page if disclosures. After all, this is a monster purchase. But at the same time, ours is a unique market. The seller expectation on hot properties is to have the offer come clean, come strong, and come fast, i.e. hit the number, remove all contingencies, and get the offer in pronto. I think the realization here is that if buyers cannot accept the unknown or feel comfortable enough with taking a leap of faith and/or taking that risk, they need to focus on languishing properties with longer days on market. Alternatively, they might even need to consider bowing out of the market entirely for now. I’m not trying to be rude or harsh. I’m just saying candidly: we know what it takes to win.

The other lesson? Homebuying is a lot like dating. All the stuff along the way matters. Presentation and impression are super important. The sellers and list agents are watching you the entire time, observing every interaction with them and with the vendors: what questions, what deliberations, what requests, what demands, how are you communicating with them? All of these behaviors are indicators and clues for the transaction. Will it be rocky or will it be seamless?

Crash Boom Bang

There’s a first time for everything. After a long and busy day at my open house in Santa Clara, I came home to a lovely meal of lamb chops. The dinner was just what I needed– flavorful and cooked to perfection.

In the middle of the night, I awoke with a gurgling belly. I went to the bathroom thinking something must not be sitting right in my stomach. I felt severe stomach cramping and then I was lightheaded and kinda sweaty. I decided a glass of water would help. The last thing I remember is stepping out of the bathroom. The very next memory is waking up with my face on the floor and my right hand hurting very badly. Yup, crash, boom, bang and just like that I had fainted and collapsed in the hallway. John, who typically sleeps through EVERYTHING, thankfully heard the commotion and found me face down in a pool of blood in the hallway. Meanwhile, Bentley? Totally clueless. Thanks for saving the day, Lassie.

John got me up, I went to the bathroom, and then I immediately felt better. My chin got busted open and it looked like what you would imagine the ground to do after an earthquake. Just a huge crack. We applied some pressure to my face. Meanwhile, my right hand was throbbing, my right shoulder was sore, and my right eye was feeling bruised. I have no earthly clue how the heck I fell in the hall. There are no chairs or stools or anything and somehow I managed to bust up the most random parts of my body. John determined we would need stitches for my face– I mean, it was like an inch-long crack. He called the advice nurse and they recommended we go to the ER bc I had been unconscious.

So about 3am, we’re off to the ER. I tell the story to the staff: had dinner, woke up in the middle of the night with a tummy ache, went to get a glass of water, and collapsed. Uh huh. The doc decided to run a shit ton of tests: xray for my hand, blood work, EKG, CT scan… we were getting worried. I mean, seriously. What kind of 40-something gets a tummy ache and loses consciousness? Makes no sense.

Thankfully, the docs at Kaiser are amazing. I mean, I know people like to knock HMOs, but I have always had a great experiences with KP. Efficient, competent, good bedside manner. Tests all came back normal. The doc stitched up my face. I was being a total vain beotch, asking if she should use superglue instead of stitches… she assured me stitches were the way to go. I walked out of the ER around 6 AM. And I still wanted to host my Sunday afternoon open house. I know, I’m fricking crazy. But with all the bruising setting in, J made me call it off. It was ridiculous too explaining to the list agent and loan officer what had happened. What a bizarre story.

A few days later, I hit up my primary care physician. This lady is a kindred spirit. Every illness i have had, she has ALSO had. I think we’re about the same age too. So many times, I was convinced something was wrong with me or my immune system and every single time, she looked at my test results and reassured me that I was just tired or rundown and got exposed to the germs. I mean, if you don’t believe me: I have had shingles, H1N1, walking pneumonia, the cold/flu for 2 months, and now this. WTF, right? Well she reviewed all the tests. Her answer? This has happened to her. It’s called vasovagal syncope. Basically, when the organs start cramping, the body thinks something is going down. Either it responds with the flight/fight adrenaline rush or it shuts down by immediately lowering the blood pressure. Apparently, when I felt dizzy and lightheaded, I should have just gotten down. Instead, I tried to be a busy-ass body and go to the kitchen to get some water. Blood pressure dropped and I knocked out. And on the way down, I got busted up. So the good news is that everything is normal. The stitches came out a week later and now I’m putting pricey scar cream on this shit twice a day. I’m so vain. Thankfully, it’s right at my jawline and not super visible. As for my black eye, I gotta give a shout out to the power of makeup. People had no idea about my yellow/blue bruising and soreness. They only saw the stitches– the hairs on my chin as I called them. Now things are back to normal and I’m back in the grind. The final lesson? Feeling sick/nauseous/crampy? Get the f down!!