OMFG, my dad. In the last 24 hrs, I’ve spent about five hours on the phone. Every call is a fucking code red emergency. That’s the thing about dad: he’s a Get Things Done kind of person, which jives with my personality except that all his to-do items are Quadrant 1 priority: BOTH important and urgent. And they frequently involve me. Like I have to drop all my shit and tend to it immediately.

So yesterday, he calls me all frantic before my open house. He has to submit some stock paperwork and the required documents didn’t arrive in the mail after the exact 7-10 business days they told him. So he calls the company again and they say he can access the info online. Except that he doesn’t have an online account set up. Back and forth, they’re trying to guide him to set up an account, and it’s not working. I get called in. But since it’s financial shit, I have to have him on the phone while I do anything on the call. I used my iPhone to conference call with the rep while I was tunneling into his pc, but my cell signal at home kept dropping. I called SIX different times and spoke with six different reps before I realized it was my signal. Meanwhile, they are unable to call me back. I cannot get the same rep. Finally, I have to go outside to the front of my house with my laptop, phone, and iPad. I give up on the conference call and use the iPhone for the customer support dude and my iPad Facetime for my dad. And then I’m holding the two devices close to one another so it’s a conference call. Meanwhile, Bentley is in the yard barking at passerbys. I’m telling you, it was a fucking zoo. Yes, I know. There MUST be a better way. Long story short, I’m on the phone for 90 minutes. I tell the last guy that the account creation process is sending me in a loop. He doesn’t believe me, so I have to repeat the bullshit process again, a sixth time. Same error, like I told him. Oh, now you have to wait 24 hours to do it again and then it should work, he claims. All this just to create a fucking account, I tell you.

This morning, I get a call from dad to schedule me for 3pm to do the tech call. Yes, I know. I already have it in my calendar! Jesus Christ. I don’t need to be poked and prodded like my brother. Meanwhile, John’s flight from Shanghai got delayed five hours. Yup, he was on the tarmac for the whole time. First, it was thunderstorms in Shanghai. Then, some bullshit US-China political reprimand where all carriers were allowed to fly/take off before the US carriers. I go to the airport to get Bubbey around noon and then after I get home, it’s time for my tech support call. Incidentally, Dad’s important document arrived today in the mail, so he was already meeting with the notary. The emergency was averted but he still wanted to proceed and set up online access. What do you fucking know? The account works today. So he’s got everything and is good to go… but wait, there’s more.

His home security system is busted (it’s from the 1980s). If I have time, can I research home security systems for him. I mean, JFC (Jesus Fucking Christ), if I have time? Why even bother qualifying the request? It’s not like I have a choice. And don’t act like it’s Quadrant 4: not important and not urgent, bc before the freaking day ends, I know you’re going to hound me about it already. My solution this time is to do as little research as possible. Just get Comcast home security. Bundle that shit and be done.

Oh and also, while he has me on the phone, can I type of a cover letter to accompany the important paperwork. That’s the thing about dad. When they were visiting last month, I had called about the paperwork and what had to be submitted. They said just mail form XYZ + notary stamp. He kept asking the rep and me, do I need to write a cover letter to go with it? No. Just the form and supporting docs. No, that’s all you need. So what the fuck happens today?

“Oh, I hand wrote a cover letter to accompany the paperwork. Here’s a picture of the letter, can you type it up for me?” That’s the thing. He wants my help but I have to do things HIS way. If I tell him no, he just keeps pestering. It’s annoying as fuck.

So fine, it takes five minutes to type it up but then I tell him: we already went over this a bunch of times when you were here. The rep said nothing else was needed; I dunno why you insist on creating more work for no reason. Well I wanted them to also know that blah, blah, blah. There’s always some reason for the extraneous crap.

I mean, I’m sure this kind of confidence (err self-importance) is very common in entrepreneurs and leaders. They delegate things to others, so part of their job is to convey the importance of what’s being done, so people will willingly take it on, as if what you’re doing to help me is super important…

But I dunno. To me, it’s often needless tedium. Yeah, maybe it helps give a bit more context around the task but it’s superfluous. Sometimes, good enough is appropriate and sufficient.

I mean, he is grateful. He’s always been classy about expressing gratitude towards people who help him. But then with me, he launches into a spiel about how he used to be so self-sufficient when he was younger, and now he needs help. Um, you’ve kinda always needed a lot of my help… just sayin’.

Ugh. Ultimately, everything gets turned into a lesson on how to do things in life the right way. Like his whole, I’m very organized and from my childhood, I always do things very methodically and thoroughly. Yes, you do but you don’t have to remind me of this every damn time we talk on the phone. I know he lives by a very educational approach and philosophy (is it Confucian?), so I’m sure he’s just leading by example. But it can be damn repetitive and self-aggrandizing. Like when he talks about how hard he worked when he was in private practice and how much hustle he has even into his senior years and how he is burdened with so many responsibilities… it’s really hard for me to respond at all. I don’t feel empathy and I’m not about to encourage the Superman attitude. Even Bubbey is noticing now preachy the stories are. He now calls my father the Tooter. Yup, bc he likes to toot his own horn.