Now that I work in sales, I have to say, I interact with people a little differently. For example, I don’t shy away from having difficult or uncomfortable conversations.

As you know, my current car lease expires at the end of the month. Three years ago, I worked with a dealer rep in Fremont to set the terms of my lease. Last month, I started assessing my options for life after this current lease, and I considered going back to owning a car or possibly leasing a different brand. I mean, I like my current car, but John suggested that I might upgrade to a bigger one to schlep all my real estate junk. So fine. After hitting up a couple of dealerships and test driving some SUVs but not feeling especially compelled, I ultimately realized that 1) I didn’t want the hassle of driving a larger car (parking challenges) and 2) I didn’t want the higher payment either.

I briefly considered buying a plain and simple Toyota so I could get around without having to worry about scratches or sketchy neighborhoods, but Bubs argued that a lease makes more financial sense in terms of tax deductions for my business, so I might as well take advantage and get a nicer ride while I can. Ok, makes sense. I test drove a few SUVs as well as some larger sedans. Surprisingly, for the sedans, larger models just offered more interior space, not necessarily more trunk space. So the verdict?

I’m pretty much getting the same model, just a slightly bigger engine. Body style and color are supposed to be the same. I did some research online, of course: Truecar, Edmunds, etc. I reached out to a few dealerships including my current one. Then, I stumbled on a car buying service called Roadster (promo code) that claims to run your search, find you the car, negotiate the rates, and then pick up your old car and deliver the new one TO YOUR HOME. All for a $300 flat fee. Say what? Sounds too good to be true, right? I checked on Yelp. Solid reviews. I was completely intrigued, so I gave it a try. The lease rates were pretty competitive. And I still was asking the dealers to give me their best… with consideration for AAA, Costco, National Association of Realtors, brand loyalty, etc. I said, give me your best. And the concierge service still beat them.

So I called my dealer rep (same one from three years ago) to say I was using the new service. He got all upset and said I needed to help him do his job and give him info so he could take it up the chain. Needless to say, it was an uncomfortable conversation. But I explained that I HAD asked him to do the best. And the numbers just didn’t work. I liked him and found him to be responsive but ultimately, not only did the service beat on price, but ALSO, it offered me an opportunity to get it all done without going into the dealership. I mean, I just HAD to try it. In the end, the rep was disappointed but he understood and was gracious about it…

Still, it was stressful sharing my decision. I guess I think of interactions now more as relationships rather than business transactions, you know? There isn’t the distance that I used to have when making consumer decisions in the past. Now, I see people behind the products. And I dunno, maybe in my old age, I realize too that being a consumer isn’t always about scoring the absolute lowest price. Sometimes, I do consider paying premiums for a new service, a new idea, or just the concept of working with people I trust, I like, or who I know will get the job done.

You see, a few months ago, I met a Chinese homebuyer at an open house. I spent a lot of time running searches, previewing homes on his behalf, and explaining the market while providing data and charts and explanations. He never formally committed to me, and a month ago, he asked me about offering a buyer rebate. Mind you, the SELLER pays the buyer agent’s commission. But now with the advent of Redfin and Reali and all these market “disrupters”, people are suddenly getting offered these deals where sellers pay a flat fee and/or buyers get a rebate. The reason these companies can offer this is bc their agents are salaried, not commission-based. And the service level is lower, obviously, bc the focus is on volume rather than relationship/quality. Long story short, he asked me about a rebate, and I said that my brokerage is not a discount brokerage. We offer full-service and do not provide discounts. Plus, ultimately, as a buyer, your focus should be on winning the house, not on getting a discount from your agent, He seemed satisfied with my answer at the time, but then, a few weeks later, he gave me some bullshit excuse that his wife’s company was paying for relocation and forcing them to use another agent. I was really bummed, bc I had spent A LOT of time cultivating this client.

Then, a few days later, I heard from my lender that the buyer was in contract on a house. As it turned out, he wasn’t forced to use that agent by the relocation company. No, he picked that agent and then proceeded to demand a 1% rebate. On top of that, the buyer was unruly, didn’t follow instructions, was highly neurotic (calling people up to 40 times a day), and basically played all sides for his own selfish benefit. He was less than five days from closing and he STILL refused to select a lender. He carried two lenders through all the hoops until two days before signing!?!?! In the end, I realized that losing this client was a blessing in disguise. The way he behaved was not only unprofessional but also highly lacking in integrity, and the bottom line was that he clearly had no respect for other people. That’s the thing: I want to earn my living. I’m not asking for a handout. I’m not trying to scam people. If you’re wanting to buy/sell a home, I am functioning as your guide and your advocate. I work hard to get this job done. But I don’t work for free. And frankly, neither do you. How often do you get asked to give up your earnings or work at a discounted wage?

Look, I’m Asian. I like deals, and I often will make an ask. You’re welcome to ask me for a discount. But don’t insult me and act as if I have nothing to offer. Don’t treat me like I’m some sleazy con-person trying to rip you off. That’s one of the hardest parts of this job: in many ways, it is thankless. People think just bc real estate data are more widely available online, they can just do everything themselves. Well, go ahead then. Make the calls. Establish good relationships with all the parties involved in the transaction. Run the stats to calculate comps. Preview homes on the market. Review county plans, legal docs, contracts, and drawings. Study the data and develop a strategy. Track all the moving parts. Manage the project. Go ahead.

I had clients recently… I told them they were responsible for getting homeowner’s insurance, with coverage starting on closing day. They had two weeks to get it done. I even gave links to three insurance companies for quotes. They asked me what the coverage amount should be. I sent an article that estimated price/sf for the Bay Area, but said that the insurance agent would be the best person to answer that question and provide guidance. The buyer refused to pick up the phone to talk to an insurance agent. He just wanted to do everything online. Next thing you know, we’re four days away from closing and no homeowner’s coverage. In the end, I called up my personal insurance agent to work with the buyer and get it done. Like most jobs out there, sure, you can learn it and do parts of it yourself. But for whatever reason, people don’t, so please, have a little respect for professionals who really care about doing their job well. Ok, rant over.