I’ve been thinking a lot lately about classes and professional development workshops I’ve taken in the past. Back when I was floundering around, searching for my “true calling,” I remember that many of my instructors kept saying, “Once you find what you’re made to do, the common threds will emerge and everything will make sense.” Now as someone who, for the majority of my life, never felt like I was in the right place, this insistence seriously sounded like crazy talk. What common thred? There is no theme that carries throughout my life. Shut the hell up.

But I have to say, in the last year, things are starting to gel in some bizarre way. Am I just more aware now to see and make the connections? I’m not really sure. Interestingly, J has been busy lately collaborating on a start-up and also delving deeper into studying/working the stock market. With the genetic testing startup, he’s had to ramp up a ton, learning about biology and medical research/testing. For as long as I have known him, John’s never really been a school and classroom kind of guy, but he’s certainly always curious and always learning. He would just learn in his own way, which oftentimes involved studying textbooks on his own. Lately, he’s been re-engaging, listening to online lectures ranging from European history to genetics and also taking a local community ed class on Chinese (they’re teaching him reading and writing!). On the investment side of things, he’s really digging into financial data, reading annual reports, and listening in on investment meetings. I’m not really surprised that he is learning so much so quickly, but I personally find the topics rather dry. I mean, reading financial reports? It kinda reminds me of my friend J, who ordered a set of law school textbooks and started going through the courses on his own for fun at home. Haha. I guess the takeaway here is that all of us learn in different ways and in different settings. John was telling me that when he was a kid, he was obsessed with baseball stats and numbers. Like, he was practically the Moneyball kid. He tracked it all, and oddly, his analysis of the stock market is now his adult version of the baseball stats. See? Common thred.

As for me, my latest transaction really highlighted the common threds in my life. I realized that yeah, doing all the tasks and things for my parents actually prepared me for my current work. My dad had always developed his own spreadsheets and tracking systems to monitor his projects and accounts and rental properties. I did something similar myself for my homework assignments and test scores while in school… And then you know, with all the researching of information, calling vendors, reading through contracts, figuring out how things work, communicating to keep all parties on the same page… that made me more thorough and resourceful and effective. John was saying too that our stint in Shanghai did so much for us. Not only did it really boost our language skills, but living in a foreign country made us more observant, less fearful, less judgmental, and generally more attuned to different cultures and customs.

It’s kinda cool to realize the culmination of so many experiences. Still, there are always so many things to work on. I have that chronic fear of getting soft. And in my work, I have a fear of discomfort hindering me. For example, it’s been many months since I last doorknocked. Mostly bc I was sick for two months, but also bc doorknocking just sucks so I haven’t been motivated to do it.

Well yesterday, bc I didn’t have an open house this weekend, I decided to nip that shit in the bud. Yup, doorknocked for 90 minutes. It sucked and only 5-6 people answered the door, BUT afterwards, I was glad that I did it: Awkwardness isn’t going to stop me. I know, these are the incessant mind games I play with myself.

My other method of building resilience? I tackle little projects where I have to negotiate or argue for stuff– you know, talk to people on the phone and try to get my way.

For example, I recently made the switch from T-Mobile to Verizon. At the time, when I was talking to reps to research the different phone plans, one person let me in on a $200 Bring Your Own Phone promo. Long story short, two months later, I still hadn’t received my $200. Now for most people, $200 is NBD and it certainly isn’t worth multiple calls with various reps on the phone. Well, I’m not gonna be afraid of phone time anymore. And also, my job is negotiation. I can’t be shying away from this shit. So yes, it took another hour on the phone with three different reps. But in the end, Verizon gave me my $200. John just shook his head. He cringed just listening to me on the phone. Oh well. Two birds, one stone. I’m practicing my negotiation skills. I’m building my resilience. And I’m earning my $200. Haha.

Btw, this is a relatively new lesson for me, but being nice and staying calm does wonders. In the past, I used to rip on people. If they were incompetent or whatever, there was no mercy. But now I’ve learned that people want to work with people they like. Even if you think they are incompetent or that they fucked up big time, being respectful makes people want to cooperate and help you.

Lastly, speaking of systems… did you know that your credit card likely has a benefit called extended warranty? For most purchases you make on your card, the manufacturer’s warranty is doubled. I used this when my heated mattress topper stopped working after the first year but before the second year. Chase paid for my replacement topper. Now, John’s $120 earbuds suddenly stopped working. Once again, the problem arose after the manufacturer’s one year warranty but before the second year of the extended. I don’t even have that credit card anymore, but the extended coverage still applies, so the rep confirmed. Some products are excluded, but it’s a handy benefit. That’s your tip of the day. Enjoy!