Monthly Archives: March 2018

Culprit

I’m telling you, my father is something else. He calls me this morning at 9 AM. I miss the call bc I’m in the bathroom. When I call him back, he asks, “Have you woken up, yet?” Yes, I am awake. Meanwhile, he is Facetiming me and I’m seeing the inside of his fucking ear canal. Jesus Christ. He’s at his computer and there’s some audio blaring through the speakers, saying that his computer has been compromised and he has to call whatever number to get it fixed right away. Sound familiar?

I mean, no matter how much warning and training, this shit just keeps happening. He already called the number before calling me bc he couldn’t get ahold of me, Thankfully, the number had already been disconnected. So then I have him force a shut down and restart. He was trying to access his online accounts… Then a bunch of questions about whether his computer is infected. I don’t know! I’m not a computer security expert who just has all the latest answers to any tech question whatsoever!!! He restarts and everything appears fine. I run a quick scan. I don’t know if your computer is safe. I have to research this. Meanwhile, I have my new car being delivered in an hour.

He’s all antsy about logging into his stock accounts, bc he had plans for trading today. I mean, I dunno what to tell you. I have to look into it and then you are proceeding at your own risk. Otherwise, go to Best Buy and ask Geek Squad. We hang up and I research further. I’m trying to get a picture of the error so he can show the tech support people. How many times have I told him to take a picture of the error or message or alert using his phone?!?! It’s like he’s a newb every. single. time. After I tinker around for a few minutes, it seems that the error is just a pop-up ad so he is not infected. I call him back to report this, and then he asks if maybe I’m the source of the virus. He says I get so many emails now for my work and since I use remote access to troubleshoot his computer, maybe I gave it to him. Um, are you fucking kidding me? I’m kinda insulted AND pissed. I’m not clicking all over the web on stupid forwarded emails from his alumni list or sketchy natural news sites from my brother or junk financial scam products… I generally know how to keep my computer clean and now you’re thinking I’m the culprit? Puhlease. I was so annoyed. I mean, how many times has he asked me to view some sketchy “health” site promoting a miracle drug that cures everything under the sun? What about having me research his bullshit Suze Orman products or Jim Cramer crap. Meanwhile, his friend has also been turning him on to free Chinese movie sites. Who knows if that shit is legit or not. Ugh.

That’s the thing with the internet. It’s a wonderful tool. People can access so much damn information from it. The opportunity for learning is tremendous. But shit, scammers are getting smarter and smarter. You really do have to be careful and more savvy about identifying and avoiding sketchy sites.

Difficult Conversations

Now that I work in sales, I have to say, I interact with people a little differently. For example, I don’t shy away from having difficult or uncomfortable conversations.

As you know, my current car lease expires at the end of the month. Three years ago, I worked with a dealer rep in Fremont to set the terms of my lease. Last month, I started assessing my options for life after this current lease, and I considered going back to owning a car or possibly leasing a different brand. I mean, I like my current car, but John suggested that I might upgrade to a bigger one to schlep all my real estate junk. So fine. After hitting up a couple of dealerships and test driving some SUVs but not feeling especially compelled, I ultimately realized that 1) I didn’t want the hassle of driving a larger car (parking challenges) and 2) I didn’t want the higher payment either.

I briefly considered buying a plain and simple Toyota so I could get around without having to worry about scratches or sketchy neighborhoods, but Bubs argued that a lease makes more financial sense in terms of tax deductions for my business, so I might as well take advantage and get a nicer ride while I can. Ok, makes sense. I test drove a few SUVs as well as some larger sedans. Surprisingly, for the sedans, larger models just offered more interior space, not necessarily more trunk space. So the verdict?

I’m pretty much getting the same model, just a slightly bigger engine. Body style and color are supposed to be the same. I did some research online, of course: Truecar, Edmunds, etc. I reached out to a few dealerships including my current one. Then, I stumbled on a car buying service called Roadster (promo code) that claims to run your search, find you the car, negotiate the rates, and then pick up your old car and deliver the new one TO YOUR HOME. All for a $300 flat fee. Say what? Sounds too good to be true, right? I checked on Yelp. Solid reviews. I was completely intrigued, so I gave it a try. The lease rates were pretty competitive. And I still was asking the dealers to give me their best… with consideration for AAA, Costco, National Association of Realtors, brand loyalty, etc. I said, give me your best. And the concierge service still beat them.

So I called my dealer rep (same one from three years ago) to say I was using the new service. He got all upset and said I needed to help him do his job and give him info so he could take it up the chain. Needless to say, it was an uncomfortable conversation. But I explained that I HAD asked him to do the best. And the numbers just didn’t work. I liked him and found him to be responsive but ultimately, not only did the service beat on price, but ALSO, it offered me an opportunity to get it all done without going into the dealership. I mean, I just HAD to try it. In the end, the rep was disappointed but he understood and was gracious about it…

Still, it was stressful sharing my decision. I guess I think of interactions now more as relationships rather than business transactions, you know? There isn’t the distance that I used to have when making consumer decisions in the past. Now, I see people behind the products. And I dunno, maybe in my old age, I realize too that being a consumer isn’t always about scoring the absolute lowest price. Sometimes, I do consider paying premiums for a new service, a new idea, or just the concept of working with people I trust, I like, or who I know will get the job done.

You see, a few months ago, I met a Chinese homebuyer at an open house. I spent a lot of time running searches, previewing homes on his behalf, and explaining the market while providing data and charts and explanations. He never formally committed to me, and a month ago, he asked me about offering a buyer rebate. Mind you, the SELLER pays the buyer agent’s commission. But now with the advent of Redfin and Reali and all these market “disrupters”, people are suddenly getting offered these deals where sellers pay a flat fee and/or buyers get a rebate. The reason these companies can offer this is bc their agents are salaried, not commission-based. And the service level is lower, obviously, bc the focus is on volume rather than relationship/quality. Long story short, he asked me about a rebate, and I said that my brokerage is not a discount brokerage. We offer full-service and do not provide discounts. Plus, ultimately, as a buyer, your focus should be on winning the house, not on getting a discount from your agent, He seemed satisfied with my answer at the time, but then, a few weeks later, he gave me some bullshit excuse that his wife’s company was paying for relocation and forcing them to use another agent. I was really bummed, bc I had spent A LOT of time cultivating this client.

Then, a few days later, I heard from my lender that the buyer was in contract on a house. As it turned out, he wasn’t forced to use that agent by the relocation company. No, he picked that agent and then proceeded to demand a 1% rebate. On top of that, the buyer was unruly, didn’t follow instructions, was highly neurotic (calling people up to 40 times a day), and basically played all sides for his own selfish benefit. He was less than five days from closing and he STILL refused to select a lender. He carried two lenders through all the hoops until two days before signing!?!?! In the end, I realized that losing this client was a blessing in disguise. The way he behaved was not only unprofessional but also highly lacking in integrity, and the bottom line was that he clearly had no respect for other people. That’s the thing: I want to earn my living. I’m not asking for a handout. I’m not trying to scam people. If you’re wanting to buy/sell a home, I am functioning as your guide and your advocate. I work hard to get this job done. But I don’t work for free. And frankly, neither do you. How often do you get asked to give up your earnings or work at a discounted wage?

Look, I’m Asian. I like deals, and I often will make an ask. You’re welcome to ask me for a discount. But don’t insult me and act as if I have nothing to offer. Don’t treat me like I’m some sleazy con-person trying to rip you off. That’s one of the hardest parts of this job: in many ways, it is thankless. People think just bc real estate data are more widely available online, they can just do everything themselves. Well, go ahead then. Make the calls. Establish good relationships with all the parties involved in the transaction. Run the stats to calculate comps. Preview homes on the market. Review county plans, legal docs, contracts, and drawings. Study the data and develop a strategy. Track all the moving parts. Manage the project. Go ahead.

I had clients recently… I told them they were responsible for getting homeowner’s insurance, with coverage starting on closing day. They had two weeks to get it done. I even gave links to three insurance companies for quotes. They asked me what the coverage amount should be. I sent an article that estimated price/sf for the Bay Area, but said that the insurance agent would be the best person to answer that question and provide guidance. The buyer refused to pick up the phone to talk to an insurance agent. He just wanted to do everything online. Next thing you know, we’re four days away from closing and no homeowner’s coverage. In the end, I called up my personal insurance agent to work with the buyer and get it done. Like most jobs out there, sure, you can learn it and do parts of it yourself. But for whatever reason, people don’t, so please, have a little respect for professionals who really care about doing their job well. Ok, rant over.

The Finish Line

Yay, my latest transaction got across this finish line this week! What a journey! Overall, I was super happy with how everything rolled out. All parties are satisfied and really, everyone was respectful and professional throughout– I’m so grateful for good people on all sides.

I have to say though, it was pretty hard getting to know my clients. They were super private and tight-lipped. Eventually, I did glean some additional information. To be honest, it’s been somewhat of an emotional roller coaster for me being you know, Chinese-American with immigrant parents, and guiding this family with whom I share similar parallels. Sure, the parent-child relationship is universally a difficult one, but there’s just something about Chinese families that make them unique and obviously, more personal for me. It’s an interesting scenario, bc my experience serves as my advantage and allows me to service this niche well and yet, being in the midst of it all still triggers some stressful memories, you know? Whatever, though. That’s life: it’s complicated.

In the end, the most important thing is that my clients are delighted with the house. And they are. I mean, as happy as they can express. 🙂 I plan to stop by next week with my closing gifts and also my requests for recommendations and referrals. That’s right, I am already targeting my next deal(s). Gotta get ’em in before my 1-year anniversary at this office in June.

What else. Bentley got neutered on Wednesday– yup, the same day as closing. I had spoken with the vet tech weeks in advance about his vet phobia and fear aggression, so we took him in to the clinic wearing his muzzle. He looked like Hannibal Lecter, and as soon as we entered the waiting room, everyone got super tense. We stayed a few minutes longer, while they took him back to make sure they could get the initial sub-cutaneous injection in. They came out a few minutes later and made some comment like, yes, he def has fear aggression and touch sensitivity.

At the end of the day, I went to pick him up, and after asking the front desk some questions, the staff revealed that Bentley escalated big time and got out of his muzzle! No one got injured but it was a close call. OMFG. I’m telling you: this special needs shit is stressful. So now I’ve reached out to a few trainers to get this shit under control. Sure, one solution is to just never have him go to the vet. But that’s neither a practical nor realistic solution. GSDs are super-prone to health problems, so at some point, he’s gotta work through this. I’m trying to see this from a positive perspective: like maybe doggie training can be a new hobby where I can also meet new people, i.e. potential clients? I dunno. The experts say Bentley isn’t a lost cause: after all, he lets me touch him, clip his nails, mess with his mouth, touch his ears…. all of that shows he can trust people. It’ll just take time to build enough trust and to train him to relearn how he responds.

Swimming Upstream

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about classes and professional development workshops I’ve taken in the past. Back when I was floundering around, searching for my “true calling,” I remember that many of my instructors kept saying, “Once you find what you’re made to do, the common threds will emerge and everything will make sense.” Now as someone who, for the majority of my life, never felt like I was in the right place, this insistence seriously sounded like crazy talk. What common thred? There is no theme that carries throughout my life. Shut the hell up.

But I have to say, in the last year, things are starting to gel in some bizarre way. Am I just more aware now to see and make the connections? I’m not really sure. Interestingly, J has been busy lately collaborating on a start-up and also delving deeper into studying/working the stock market. With the genetic testing startup, he’s had to ramp up a ton, learning about biology and medical research/testing. For as long as I have known him, John’s never really been a school and classroom kind of guy, but he’s certainly always curious and always learning. He would just learn in his own way, which oftentimes involved studying textbooks on his own. Lately, he’s been re-engaging, listening to online lectures ranging from European history to genetics and also taking a local community ed class on Chinese (they’re teaching him reading and writing!). On the investment side of things, he’s really digging into financial data, reading annual reports, and listening in on investment meetings. I’m not really surprised that he is learning so much so quickly, but I personally find the topics rather dry. I mean, reading financial reports? It kinda reminds me of my friend J, who ordered a set of law school textbooks and started going through the courses on his own for fun at home. Haha. I guess the takeaway here is that all of us learn in different ways and in different settings. John was telling me that when he was a kid, he was obsessed with baseball stats and numbers. Like, he was practically the Moneyball kid. He tracked it all, and oddly, his analysis of the stock market is now his adult version of the baseball stats. See? Common thred.

As for me, my latest transaction really highlighted the common threds in my life. I realized that yeah, doing all the tasks and things for my parents actually prepared me for my current work. My dad had always developed his own spreadsheets and tracking systems to monitor his projects and accounts and rental properties. I did something similar myself for my homework assignments and test scores while in school… And then you know, with all the researching of information, calling vendors, reading through contracts, figuring out how things work, communicating to keep all parties on the same page… that made me more thorough and resourceful and effective. John was saying too that our stint in Shanghai did so much for us. Not only did it really boost our language skills, but living in a foreign country made us more observant, less fearful, less judgmental, and generally more attuned to different cultures and customs.

It’s kinda cool to realize the culmination of so many experiences. Still, there are always so many things to work on. I have that chronic fear of getting soft. And in my work, I have a fear of discomfort hindering me. For example, it’s been many months since I last doorknocked. Mostly bc I was sick for two months, but also bc doorknocking just sucks so I haven’t been motivated to do it.

Well yesterday, bc I didn’t have an open house this weekend, I decided to nip that shit in the bud. Yup, doorknocked for 90 minutes. It sucked and only 5-6 people answered the door, BUT afterwards, I was glad that I did it: Awkwardness isn’t going to stop me. I know, these are the incessant mind games I play with myself.

My other method of building resilience? I tackle little projects where I have to negotiate or argue for stuff– you know, talk to people on the phone and try to get my way.

For example, I recently made the switch from T-Mobile to Verizon. At the time, when I was talking to reps to research the different phone plans, one person let me in on a $200 Bring Your Own Phone promo. Long story short, two months later, I still hadn’t received my $200. Now for most people, $200 is NBD and it certainly isn’t worth multiple calls with various reps on the phone. Well, I’m not gonna be afraid of phone time anymore. And also, my job is negotiation. I can’t be shying away from this shit. So yes, it took another hour on the phone with three different reps. But in the end, Verizon gave me my $200. John just shook his head. He cringed just listening to me on the phone. Oh well. Two birds, one stone. I’m practicing my negotiation skills. I’m building my resilience. And I’m earning my $200. Haha.

Btw, this is a relatively new lesson for me, but being nice and staying calm does wonders. In the past, I used to rip on people. If they were incompetent or whatever, there was no mercy. But now I’ve learned that people want to work with people they like. Even if you think they are incompetent or that they fucked up big time, being respectful makes people want to cooperate and help you.

Lastly, speaking of systems… did you know that your credit card likely has a benefit called extended warranty? For most purchases you make on your card, the manufacturer’s warranty is doubled. I used this when my heated mattress topper stopped working after the first year but before the second year. Chase paid for my replacement topper. Now, John’s $120 earbuds suddenly stopped working. Once again, the problem arose after the manufacturer’s one year warranty but before the second year of the extended. I don’t even have that credit card anymore, but the extended coverage still applies, so the rep confirmed. Some products are excluded, but it’s a handy benefit. That’s your tip of the day. Enjoy!

The Feet Tell It All

So I treated myself to a pedicure today. I haven’t gotten one in a salon in probably a year. It’s one of those things, like getting my hair cut: whenever I think to do it, it’s in the middle of the night and the salons are closed. When the places are open, I don’t have a reservation and can’t be bothered to wait. I know, I’m that self important, right?

My job entails a lot of taking my shoes on and off, entering staged homes, decrepit homes, and everything in between. I really try to keep my toes somewhat presentable but some days, it’s just all about good enough. That means, yes, oftentimes I just repaint over my existing polish. So today the nail tech is like removing the old polish, and she’s uncovering multiple layers of old polish beneath bc they are all different colors… SMH. I know, it’s embarrassing. Hey though, be glad I’m not using Sharpie markers like I did before.

I started my session ordering the basic pedi. But bc I wear shoes without socks, my heels are literally rough and scratchy with flaking skin. I know, pretty darn nasty. The lady suggested callous removal. Her comment didn’t shame me or anything, but I quickly agreed to upgrade to a spa pedi. I mean, either she cleans me up or I gotta go home and put the foot filer gadget to that scratch pad, and at this point, just get ‘er done.

The thing is, my feet are like the canary in the coal mine. They are an indicator for something far worse. For example, in the last several months, my skin had continued on its rampage to hell, with humongous boils throbbing on my chin. That k-beauty stuff, as much as I had placed my faith into it, was not helping. I mean, yes, they softened the cheeks but it was fucking Mt. Fuji everywhere else on my face! I dunno what I was expecting: I had been eating a bunch of fried foods and frozen foods; I wasn’t getting any sleep; I was skipping meals left and right… I mean, I was basically neglecting and abusing my body (for MONTHS/years) and already, it wasn’t a strong system to start with…

After I went into contract on this latest real estate deal and the deposit went into escrow, my body finally crashed. I got a few days’ worth of sleep. And the damn boils finally started calming the fuck down. John and I have also recently started drinking a breakfast probiotic shake, something I’d read about via a fashion blogger I follow… it’s crazy but as soon as we started on the program, John’s has gone to the gym every damn day. And we seem to feel better. I even went back to the hot yoga studio, for the first time in probably two years. I mean, I dunno if probiotics get all the credit on that one. Like I always say, “nothing like an expiring Groupon to kick my ass into gear.” Haha.

In other news, Bentley seems to be settling in. I think the pheromone room plug-in that my friend suggested is helping him feel safe and more confident. He is also eating more regularly. Strangely enough, I don’t think he’ll ever be one of those dogs who scarfs down his food, (WTF?!?!?), but he is showing improvement. We are taking him on a road trip to Santa Barbara later this month before he has to get neutered. Fingers crossed that he’ll do ok going into a clinic environment again. Honestly, I’m a bit worried about it, and John has already suggested NOT getting him neutered at all but… this shit’s happening.

Progress

After the empty class incident, I was feeling in the dumps. Big time. But then, my crybaby antics started annoying me. Seriously, with all the privilege I have? Shut the fuck up. Look around. Watch the news. People are struggling everywhere. I am not entitled to anything. I do not “deserve” anything. Life is not fair, so shut the hell up and find another way.

A few days later, I didn’t score an open house, so I decided to spend the day Saturday previewing homes in San Jose. I saw maybe 5-6 places, introduced myself to the listing agents, met a few new loan officers, etc… On my drive home, my Chinese buyers called. A few days prior, I had emailed them saying their budget didn’t match their criteria. In other words, you can’t get new construction, large lot, and all Level 10 schools in the areas you want for what you’re wanting to pay. This is what’s out there for your budget. If you still insist on NOT adjusting your criteria, this is what you can get for the next step up in price. Boom! They finally saw something they liked in this new price point. I was on the phone with the list agent the same day. After five days of VG-style, full-on, due diligence, we are in contract. Yippee!!

I will say, Chinese clients are a unique profile. I mean, you know about the intensity that is my family. Chinese immigrant parents. Enough said. Oh but add to that, the parents live out of state, and the home is not for them. Add to that, California real estate transactions are totally different from their experiences elsewhere. Add to that, their oral communication is strictly in Mandarin. Add to that, they are a family of engineers who like to plan a gabillion steps ahead. You get my drift. Nice people, and the mother is especially opinionated and expressive, which is a good thing when you’re conducting a home search. It was a ton of work, and the responsibility of the transaction weighed heavily on me. But I feel really good and very proud that my special style of research combined with my open communication with other players in the transaction ultimately got my clients what they wanted. We are early yet, and as I always say to Bubbey, “It’s not in the bag until it’s in the bag.” Still, my clients are thrilled and I’m happy. We’ll see how this week unfolds.