Well I got ahold of my mother finally, using the LINE account of my aunt. Yep, nothing is ever straightforward with my family. Whether it’s an email account or cell phone account, shit is shared and chaperoned to death. Anyway, after speaking with dad and hearing that my aunt is like bathing mom and shampooing her hair, I was prepared for like some super confused, jumbled conversation. Not the case. Mom is sharper, more lucid, and more engaged than ever. WTF is going on? On one hand, dad is telling me he and auntie observe mom getting worse. On the other hand, she sounds happier, spirited, and actually fine.

She stopped taking the western meds, but not bc my brother kept telling her so. Rather, she was having incontinence issues plus random hot flashes/sweating fits. She stopped the meds, and those symptoms immediately went away. The doctors say those symptoms are not side effects of those meds, but I dunno: she put 2 and 2 together and there appears to be some connection for her.

So now my conclusion is that dad and auntie are just overprotective over-coddlers. When I asked mom about the bathing, I was like, what is going on? I saw you in July and you were fine washing yourself. You need to still do your own activities. She says she just feels much cleaner and better when auntie bathes her. Ok, fine have her do it maybe once a week but everyday? You’re not an invalid. Yeah, I’m all about the tough love.

I wonder if my father, in his current state of paralysis, is just overwhelmed by too many thoughts. I know it’s important for him to feel useful and needed; otherwise, he doesn’t feel purpose. I can relate to that. But mom is clearly happy in Taiwan and enjoying the increased socialization and interactions– something she simply does not get when she’s home in Maryland with dad, who is a homebody. I’m sure there’s some bit of FOMO, like she is getting on just fine without him. Second, I do think my brother has made Taiwan somewhat toxic for dad (and me). It’s just too close proximity and as it is, J is still emailing dad all this hyperbaric oxygen chamber shit that he himself is doing on the regular… Jesus Christ. As if we need J to be preserved forever, Tom Cruise style. SMH.

Finally, I think my dad feels most successful in the US. Even though it has never felt like home, he is ultimately a workaholic by nature. He is most comfortable when he is doing something productive or efficient… and here he has his fingers into a million things: stocks, real estate, etc. So I’m not sure when the two parents in one place thing is going to take hold. It’s frustrating for me, bc I don’t like my dad being alone. He is quite self-sufficient, but I still worry if healthwise something happens and I mean, he can probably go for too many days without leaving the house. To his credit, he has started walking again– morning and night and he actually made Labor Day plans to visit his BFF in Ohio. I’m just a worry wart, I guess.

Meanwhile, I have booked my own trip for end of October to Taiwan. I really can’t believe we are already nearly into September. I’m kinda disappointed by all the time I lost from being sick, but spilled milk, right? I’m still not 100% but good enough to be back at the office hustling for open houses. 🙂