Remember several months ago when I complained that John and I would basically communicate the same things to our bathroom contractor but then the old dude would not understand me but totally get John? And yet we said the same exact information? I complained about it in my blog, bc yet again, I was a woman not being taken seriously, not being listened to, and not being understood. It reminded me a bit of Shanghai when my uncle there would listen to John and me conversing in English, and he insisted that I spoke English with a Chinese accent. John would laugh it off and tell him that my grammar and English skills were way better than his (I was also teaching English as a Second Language at the Arlington Literacy Council), and they still didn’t believe my English proficiency was native level. (I was born in Maryland, btw.)

Well something similar happened again recently. I was over at the house I sold meeting with my buyers and a Chinese contractor they invited to survey the kitchen for renovation. The contractor was Chinese, so I spoke in Mandarin, talking about the load bearing wall and other layout options. I had prepared for the meeting beforehand by culling through tons of home pics on the MLS. I looked for similar home styles in the same neighborhood and then reviewed their interior photos to get ideas for how other owners updated their kitchens. So when I was onsite I told the contractor: one idea I saw was that the people walled up one of the THREE doors to the kitchen so visitors would come in via the front door, walk down a short hallway, and then turn left to see the open concept kitchen. It was better flow. The contractor even commented that my vocabulary was surprisingly advanced bc I used the word “flow.” Anyway, the meeting continued and then at the end, my buyer said he liked the contractor’s idea to seal up the door to the kitchen. Say what? Dude, that was MY suggestion. The meeting ended and I was a little bugged that once again a woman’s comment not only got dismissed but was subsequently credited to a man. Whatever. I went home and shrugged it off. Maybe the buyer got confused and thought the contractor mentioned it.

Then this week, I drove by the house and I saw the same contractor parked in the driveway. I came out and chatted. He showed me the work they started. Then, he specifically said, “we adopted your idea to remove the door and flow the kitchen this way.”

I felt so redeemed. I mean, maybe this comes across as some small, petty, insignificant thing. Think what you will. I know these moments add up. These subtle, seemingly insignificant instances are why women still don’t have equal representation in corporate leadership. This is why women continue to earn less for the same work. Smh. It might not have been deliberate or intentional. The point is, sexism persists. Women still have a ways to go. The next time I meet the buyers, I will have to express pride in seeing my suggestion come to fruition. Haha.